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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: Strikeforce

If You Thought Strikeforce Should Try Harder, This Video Will Change Your Mind


Come on, Strikeforce. A simple MOM MADE PIZZA ROLLS would have been far less embarrassing

You know what? I honestly try to be optimistic about the future of Strikeforce. Even when the promotion is hemorrhaging money, even when their website is reduced to an MS Word document, I want to believe that the promotion is run by competent individuals who will find a way to keep it alive.

And then I see the vignette made to promote the upcoming “Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Kennedy” on July 14, and feel stupid for learning nothing from the death of WCW. Case in point:

Video after the jump

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Potato Nation, Sit Back and Let Ronda Rousey’s Mom Teach You a Proper Armbar


(Ann is lucky Bas didn’t have a salt shaker or a bar stool handy, or this would’ve gone down WAY differently.) 

If you are one of those conspiracy theorists out there who believe that Ronda Rousey sold her soul to the devil for the Ultimate Armbar of Absolute Victory (perhaps we’re naming that a little soon), then it’s time for a wake up call. Aside from Ronda’s extensive judo background, her ability to maim and disfigure her female counterparts is equal parts experience and genetics. Because believe it or not, her mother, Dr. Ann Maria Rousey DeMars, was the first American woman to ever win a World Judo Championship. How’d she do it, you ask? Mainly through the help of her friends; Harai Goshi, Uchi Mata, and Mr. Armbar.

Well Taters, it seems that Ronda’s mom has taken some time out of her busy schedule to bestow some knowledge upon us all, via her personal blog. Today’s lesson is titled “How to do a Perfect Armbar.” Enjoy:

Join us after the jump to get your knowledge on. 

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YOU BETTER BELIEVE That Daniel Cormier Wants a Piece of Tim Sylvia


(THIS is what intimidation looks like.) 

Let’s be honest, Potato Nation. Tim Sylvia is probably one of the most toughest motherfuckers you know. True story: While in college, I once sent a him a private video message in which I made fun of his fight with Ray Mercer, his appearance on Blind Date, and his nickname, “Fatty Boom-Boom,” for a good twenty five minutes. I’m not sure how, but the very next day, he showed up to my school, slept in my dorm room, beat the fuck out of my roommate and took his bed, then proceeded to smack all of my teachers, professors, RA’s, and deans before my very eyes.

All we’re saying is, “The Maine-iac” does not give a fuck; he simply gets shit done. And although he has yet to persuade Dana White into giving him another chance in the UFC, it looks like newly crowned Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix Champion Daniel Cormier would be more than willing to offer him a fight in MMA’s #2 promotion, telling the following to Sherdog’s “Beatdown” Radio:

I think anytime you get to fight a guy that held the UFC title, it’s a big deal. If Tim Sylvia’s the guy that they put across the cage from me, then that’s the guy I will fight on that day.

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“Strikeforce: Barnett vs Cormier” Weigh-In Results & Video


(Video via YouTube.com/AllElbows)

It may have lost some steam along the way, but the Heavyweight Grand Prix, Strikeforce’s little engine that could, is pulling into the station this evening. Tournament finalists Daniel Cormier and Josh Barnett will slug it out to decide who rules the now-defunct Strikeforce Heavyweight division and get their face plastered on one of those cheesy motivational office posters. Cormier, the two-time Olympian, tipped the scales at 238lbs; his opponent, Josh Barnett, will enjoy a 10lb advantage when they climb into the cage. Those of you ballsy enough to bet “other” as the tournament winner way back in January ’11 are on the verge of a mega-payout this evening.

Strikeforce Lightweight champ Gilbert Melendez will defend his title in a rubbermatch against Josh Thompson. Rumors swirled online that a serious knee injury would sideline “The Punk” from tonight’s bout, but he was able-bodied enough to step up on the scale. Both men tallied a weight of 153lbs and will look to settle the score in San Jose.

We’re liveblogging the crap out of this thing tonight, so join us back here for the festivities.

Full weigh-in results are after the jump.

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Muhammad “King Mo” Lawal Signs With Bellator and TNA Wrestling


(Like this, Stone Cold?)

MMA Weekly is reporting that former Strikeforce light heavyweight champion Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal has signed with MMA promotion Bellator Fighting Championships and professional wrestling organization Total Nonstop Action Wrestling.

Lawal was fired from Strikeforce after testing positive for a banned steroid and is currently serving out a nine-month suspension from the Nevada State Athletic Commission. Because of that suspension, Lawal will have to wait to be able to compete under the Bellator banner — but since he’s also signed with TNA, he can conceivably begin making some money much sooner since professional wrestling is not regulated as a competitive sport by athletic commissions. Lawal signing with both organizations fuels rumors that Bellator and TNA  — both of which air on Viacom-owned television channels and, starting in 2013, will appear on Spike TV — will somehow collaborate or cross-promote.

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Roger Gracie to Make Middleweight Debut Against Keith Jardine in July


(And for my next trick, I will enter a state of comatose using only a roided man’s fists and sheer determination.) 

On the heels of a devastating one-punch knockout at the hands of Muhammed Lawal in September, it looks like Roger Gracie will make his moderately-anticipated middleweight debut at an upcoming Strikeforce event in July. Rejoice. Across the cage from the Jiu-Jitsu phenom will be none other than UFC veteran and member of the undead army, Keith “The Dean of Mean” Johnson Jardine. Jardine has had a rough run of things as of late, dropping six of his last nine including a recent ill-fated title bid against Luke Rockhold in January.

But a matchup with Gracie is one that Jardine stands a better chance of winning than any fight in recent memory, believe it or not. Jardine has never been submitted in professional competition, and Gracie’s complete lack of the kind of striking game that has felled Jardine in the past might just make for a victory over a big name that has eluded “The Dean” since his UFC 89 split-decision win over Brandon Vera. In fact, the closest Jardine has even come to scoring an upset victory in recent years was his Strikeforce: Diaz vs. Daley performance that saw him fight to a majority draw with the heavily favored Gegard Mousasi.

Though it was previously reported that Gracie was on his way up to the UFC, those rumors were quickly squashed by UFC President Dana White, who stated, “[expletive] that [expletive] you [expletive] [expletive] Samuel L. Jackson [expletive] smartphone [expletive] hotspacho [expletive].” Something like that. *

In other fight booking news…

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Dana White Says he Tried to Make Penn vs. Melendez Happen, And That Penn Will Return at 170lbs


(Sadly, the fight between Penn and Jon Fitch was ruled a draw and the puppy was left without a home)

UFC President Dana White continues to say that future hall of famer BJ Penn will indeed return to the Octagon, despite Penn’s coyness. But Thursday, White provided more details to MMA Junkie on what weight the pound for pound great will fight at, and revealed that Penn declined a bout with Strikeforce champ Gilbert Melendez.

“I tried to do [Melendez vs. Penn], but it was at the time when B.J. was like, ‘Yeah, I’m not fighting for a while,’” White told Junkie.

Apparently, he didn’t say if that match up would have meant Penn going to Strikeforce or Melendez going to the UFC.

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[VIDEO] What Will Hopefully Be the Final Strikeforce Heavyweight Tournament Preview


(From the moment Josh Barnett and Daniel Cormier awoke cuffed to drain pipes on opposite ends of a dirty bathroom, they knew that a showdown was inevitable.) 

Oh, Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix, how you’ve managed to elude us. Like that of Tim Sylvia’s UFC campaign, there were times, more often than not, that we laughed at the idea of you ever being taken seriously. Let’s just say that if your story were to be committed to paper, it would undoubtedly surpass that of Homer’s Illiad & Odyssey combined, and although it turns out we were correct to chuckle at “The Maine-iac’s” unfortunate plight, it seems that you are finally going to follow through on what you promised us so long ago. Yes, after teasing us with an original finale date of March 3rd (an event that was quickly changed to support the Tate vs. Rousey fight), you managed to make us wait yet another two and a half months before setting a final date of May 19th. Nearly one year after you began.

But we’re not here to complain, we’re here to celebrate your conclusion. Luckily, Hanuman Productions shares our somewhat-subdued-but-still-present excitement, and have created a sweet trailer to try and get us fully amped for Josh Barnett‘s clash with Daniel Cormier once again.

Check out the trailer after the jump. 

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Nate Marquardt vs. Tyron Woodley Possible for Vacant Strikeforce Welterweight Title

Nate Marquardt Free CagePotato
(Pictured above: The REAL reason Nate Marquardt got fired.) 

When taking a look at Nate Marquardt‘s Sherdog profile, we were kind of shocked to find that it has only been a little over a year since he last fought. Perhaps it was a result of his repeated delays when signed under the BAMMA banner some 6 months ago, but it feels like it has been a long time since we’ve seen the one-time UFC middleweight title contender in action. Like Gina Carano long.

And go figure, it all began with TRT. Because it always begins with TRT. After going 2-2 in his last four UFC fights, including a most recent UD win over Dan Miller at UFC 128, Marquardt was expected to make his welterweight debut against Rick Story at the main event of UFC Live 4. Things took a turn for the worse, however, when he was pulled from the card at the last minute for elevated testosterone levels. He was subsequently ousted by the UFC and replaced by Charlie Brenneman, who went on to score the upset over Story and completely derail his hype train.

News broke in February that Marquardt had signed with Strikeforce and was expected to face Tyron Woodley. No date was set for his ever-elusive welterweight debut, likely due to the fact that the Strikeforce website developers hadn’t yet learned how to spell Marquardt and couldn’t afford to scan the Word document twice.

Well, ladies and gents, a date has finally been set for the return of “The Great.”

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“Cyborg” Santos Year-Long Suspension Upheld by CSAC


(Hiroko’s ‘long-game’ plan is all coming together now | Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle)

Cris “Cyborg” Santos tested positive for banned substances after her December 17th fight last year in California and was subsequently suspended for one year by the state’s athletic commission. Yesterday an appeal from the former 145 pound champion to reduce her suspension to six months was rejected by the California commission.

MMA Weekly reports that Santos’ team was trying to get clearance to fight on a coming StrikeForce card. ”Santos’ appeal was asking for the commission to reduce her sentence from one year down to six months. According to her lawyer, Santos was up for a potential fight on an upcoming Strikeforce show in “late June/early July’ in San Diego,” they wrote.

Ultimately, the CSAC voted unanimously to uphold “Cyborg’s” one year suspension. If things stay that way, she will only be able to re-apply for for a license until December 17th, 2012. It’s been a rough year for MMA’s top female fighter. First she was popped for steroids after her 16 second execution of Hiroko Yamanaka (a win that was then turned to a “No Contest”), and then she announced that her and her husband, the other “Cyborg,” were getting divorced.

Since it might be a long time till you Chute Boxe fans get to see her in action again, we’re putting some highlights of her beating up hapless women (and Tito Ortiz) below for you to enjoy:

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