We may be only a few months into 2013, but the list of potential Potato Award recipients is quickly filling up like it’s going out of style. We already have a strong frontrunner for “Flop of the Year” in Nick “Turbo Tax” Capes, and just last week, we introduced the greatest knockout of the year, “The Skywalker Crotchcracker” (a.k.a The Spinning Harold Howard, The McSleepytime Falcon Roundhouse, or The Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder).

And although the fight in which Olivier Fontaine was able to pull of this absolutely insane flying armbar actually went down in early February, the video of said armbar has only recently started making its way around the MMA blogosphere. We’ve thrown a full video of the fight above, but skip to the 1:28 mark to see just what we’re talking about.

After Sofian Benchohra manages to snatch up one of Fontaine’s legs on an attempted body kick, you assume Fontaine is seconds away from an always demoralizing leg sweep. WRONG. Fontaine counters with a beautiful spinning, flying armbar — almost a somersault armbar, if you will — that Gina Carano couldn’t pull off with all of the stunt coordinators in the world in her corner. After a brief struggle, Fontaine secures the tap shortly thereafter. Good night, my anus.

The original title of this post was going to be something along the lines of “F’n A, Cotton! Some G Just J’d Into a RT at HFC, SOTY?” However, feeling that it didn’t hold up to the high standard of journalistic integrity you’re used to seeing on CagePotato, I thought I’d go with a more straightforward title. In either case, here’s some Guy named Wolfgang Janssen Jumping into a Reverse Triangle at last weekend’s Havoc Fighting Championship 1 card. He may have used a little help from the fence to do so, but damn, that is a Submission of the Year nominee if I’ve ever seen one. Agree or disagree?

Props to our buddies at MiddleEasy for stumbling upon this beautiful piece of footage.

-J. Jones

(Karo Parisyan: A beast when he wins, a Hollywood cliche when he loses.)

Did someone say King of the mountain?

It may be a long time before we see Karo Parisyan competing in a top level promotion again, but he took one step closer by utterly destroying Anonymous Tatted-up Opponent #237 (known professionally as, we shit you not, Tiger Bonds) at Gladiator Challenge: King of the Mountain over the weekend. It was Parisyan’s second victory in his past three contests, which is only made less than impressive when you consider that his other win came over Thomas Denny. And that he had dropped four of his past five before that. But hey, we’re taking the optimistic approach today, so all you haters can suck a bag of dicks.

Video after the jump.

(“Look kid, I’m gonna find the man who did this to you. And when I do, so help me God, I’m gonna dock him one point for shorts-grabbing.” / Photo of Stout vs. Edwards aftermath via ESPN)

With a little help from the Potato Nation, we spent the last couple days gathering videos of the nastiest, ugliest, most-painful looking knockouts and submissions from this year. Finding 25 of them was the easy part. (Damn, MMA fighters. You seemed especially angry this year. Problems at home?) Putting them in order was a little more challenging.

Obviously, Frank Mir snapping Nogueira’s arm at UFC 140 was the people’s choice for #1. But how do you rank a head-kick knockout against a spinning-backfist knockout, when they both leave their victims zombie’d on the mat with their eyes open and their arms in the air?

So here’s what we’ll do. Instead of arranging these brutal stoppages in some arbitrary order, we’ll arrange them in groups. Use the links below to navigate through the sections, and take a moment to appreciate the human devastation that our great sport has caused in the last 12 months. And all this without a single death! Enjoy…

(Ben Goldstein)

- Page 1: The Perfect One-Shot (Or Two-Shot) Knockouts
- Page 2: The Savage Striking Onslaughts
- Page 3: The Gruesome Submissions
- Page 4: Fancy Kicks and Other Insanity

(Props: 1tSurge)

Jefferey “Karmaatemycat” Watts continues to let his haters be his motivators. The CagePotato Fight Team captain and fundraising superstar increased his amateur record to 4-1 on Saturday night in a featherweight bout at Raging Wolf XII in Irving, New York.

Jeff’s opponent Josh Lange entered the fight with a 6-0 ammy record, but had no answer to the riddle of Karma. After doing a Jon Jones impression for the first minute, Jeff stands and fires some leg kicks. Lange shoots and takes Karma down (BIG MISTAKE) but can’t do much with the position. Jeff calmly starts working his guard, and before long, he sinks a triangle choke. Sorry, judges.

It was an especially meaningful win for Karma, who spent the last month suffering through a fight cancellation and a knee injury, and was fighting in front of his friends and family for the first time. When Jeff finally goes pro and starts kicking asses in major organizations, remember where you saw him first.

After the jump: Video of Karma’s entrance. How many CagePotato t-shirts can you count?

(Props: oneness2004. Fight begins at the 2:40 mark.)

On Friday night, undefeated MMA fighter and CagePotato film critic Nick Newell increased his pro record to 6-0, picking up yet another first-round stoppage at XFC 15 in Tampa, Florida. Nick was the aggressor early, slugging opponent Denis Hernandez to the fence and taking him down with relative ease. From there, he softened up Hernandez with ground-and-pound before dropping back into a heel-hook. It’s as surprising as it is painful, and Hernandez is forced to tap. Newell’s attempt at an off-the-cage victory somersault is somewhat less successful, but overall, it’s a great showing from our homeboy. Congrats, Nick.

After the jump: Full results from XFC 15, plus another sick submission from the Ryan Thomas vs. John Kolosci bout.

(Ah, 2007. A very fine year for gogoplatas. / Photo via Sherdog)

By Ben Goldstein

Over the last two decades, MMA has evolved so consistently that fighters are still finding new and unexpected ways to destroy their opponents — while causing fans to spit their beers in shock. We decided to take a lil’ spin through MMA history and identify the single most awe-inspiring technique from each year since the sport’s modern inception. We expect you to disagree with us; there’s a comments section just for that purpose. And away we go…

1993: Royce Gracie’s Rear-Naked Choke
vs. Ken Shamrock @ UFC 1, 11/12/93

(Fight starts at the 3:54 mark)

You have to remember that in the early ’90s, a well-placed roundhouse kick to the head was considered the pinnacle of martial arts. What Royce Gracie introduced to fight fans in his early UFC run was something much more practical, less flashy, and a little bit scary. Gracie’s submission of Ken Shamrock — and the similar hold he used to stop Gerard Gordeau in the finals — proved that skill beat size, and pajamas beat man-panties.

1994: Dan Severn’s Suplexes
vs. Anthony Macias @ UFC 4, 12/16/94

(Props: 4z4r3th via Willin. Fight starts at the 1:09 mark.)

In his 12 fights under the UFC and WEC banners, Chael Sonnen has won seven fights by unanimous decision and lost the rest by triangle choke or triangle/armbar. You have to respect that level of consistency. But believe it or not, the mouthy middleweight also has ten stoppage victories on his record from appearances in non-Zuffa promotions.

Exhibit A: Sonnen once grappled the shit out of fellow WEC/UFC vet Tim McKenzie at a Bodog Fight event in February 2007, scoring a takedown and sinking a brabo choke in just 13 seconds. Even Royce Gracie himself was giving Chael props after the performance. (And hey, nice pull with that Asian girlfriend, buddy!)

Previously:
- Bizarro World Technique Video of the Day: Omoplata from Guard by Chael Sonnen
- MMA Video Tribute: Six Amazingly Rare Occurrences

(Skip to the 7-minute mark for the finish. Props: carloscub6)

Stepping in for the cancelled James Irvin vs. Houston Alexander co-main event, Tara LaRosa and Carina Damm put on a great show for the fans at Shark Fights 14 in Lubbock, Texas, on Friday, ending in a second-round submission win for the American. After an evenly pitched first round, LaRosa scored right away in the second frame, knocking Damm down with a jab. Damm immediately responded with a heel-hook attempt on the ground, but LaRosa grabbed a heel-hook of her own and was able to finish hers first. The loss was Damm’s third-straight, following a ten-fight win streak.

In the main event, Danillo Villefort dominated Matt Horwich for all three rounds with a varied striking attack and a handful of well-timed takedowns, earning a unanimous 30-27 nod from the judges. Full Shark Fights 14 results are after the jump.

How To Defeat Fedor With Fabricio Werdum – Watch more Funny Videos

In the first of a hopefully-ongoing series in which MMA fighters instruct you on how to do things you’ll never actually have the opportunity to do, here’s Strikeforce heavyweight contender Fabricio Werdum taking us through the triangle/armbar he used to defeat Fedor Emelianenko back in June. (Props to Ruben Vera for putting this together.) Despite Werdum’s accent and liberal interpretation of the word "back," the dude seems like a great instructor. If you live near Huntington Beach, why not drop by Kings MMA and say hello?

Previously: Fabricio Werdum Says He’s Likely to Fight Alistair Overeem in March

Getting trapped in a submission is a panic-inducing experience for any fighter. But what happens when you’re put in a position that you’ve never even seen before? In honor of next week’s DVD/Blu-ray release of Locked Down (which co-stars Rashad Evans, Kimbo Slice, and Cheick Kongo), we’re taking a look back at MMA matches where fighters were "locked down" for real — caught in off-the-wall subs that offered no chance of escape. Enjoy the list, and come back next Thursday for a chance to win a Locked Down combo pack in our next caption contest…

#10: Alexander Otsuka’s double-armbar vs. Mike Bourke
PRIDE 11, 10/31/00

Dusting himself off after a pathetically botched dropkick attempt early in the fight (see the video’s 0:38 mark), Otsuka begins working his jiu-jitsu against the tank-topped American brawler. When Bourke starts to hang out with one arm posted and the other throwing down telegraphed punches, the "Diet Butcher" seizes the moment, snapping his legs over Bourke’s head and torquing both of his arms simultaneously. Bourke is so screwed he has to tap with his knee.

#9: Ivan Salaverry’s anaconda body lock vs. Tony Fryklund
UFC 50, 10/22/04

We usually think of the body-triangle as a technique used to soften up an opponent before or during a rear-naked choke. It takes real talent to actually finish somebody with it. After taking Tony Fryklund’s back, Salaverry passes up the neck and instead wrenches his arms around Fryklund’s body, driving his hips forward to exert maximum pressure on the spine and ribs. Fryklund has two options at this point: Allow himself to be cracked like a walnut, or scream for mercy. Fortunately, he makes the right choice.

(Props: mikeychch)

Click here for the Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum play-by-play.

(Fight starts at the 3:48 mark. Props: NelsaoCB)

Whenever Masakazu Imanari steps into a ring, there’s always a good chance that something crazy will go down. Case in point: His fight against Justin Cruz at Deep’s latest event in Tokyo on Saturday. After getting the crowd in the right spirit by walking out to Sade’s "No Ordinary Love," Imanari stalked Cruz around the cage until he had an opportunity to pull guard. Once on the ground, he quickly set up an omoplata, then climbed around to Cruz’s back and cranked his neck, stretching out his opponent’s body in a very unpleasant-looking way. Imanari then hooked an arm under Cruz’s neck and immediately forced the tap. Boom — add it to the Ashikan Judan‘s highlight reel.

Imanari then accepted his trophy from a schoolgirl who looked like she was randomly pulled from the audience (see the 7:25 mark), and pretended that it was enormous penis, turning to each side of the arena so that everyone could see how clever he was. If a fighter did that in the UFC, it would be considered extremely offensive. But with Imanari — well, it’s a Japanese thing, and you just wouldn’t understand.