(Click chart for full-size version. And if you missed our first Databomb, click here.)

By Reed Kuhn, @Fightnomics

There’s lots of talk about what submissions work better than others in MMA. But we should at least agree that all submissions are not created equal. Some are easier to attempt, and some are easier to finish. But which ones are which?

Examining both the attempt and success rates for each submission type in the UFC since 2007 reveals that some of the most common submissions attempted are actually the hardest to finish. Notably, guillotine chokes and shoulder locks (like kimuras) have very low success rates — 14% and 6%, respectively — despite being attempted fairly frequently. And really, who taps to ankle locks these days? No one still holding a UFC roster spot, that’s who. Meanwhile, no submission is nearly as successful as the rear-naked choke, which results in a tap (or nap) 41% of the time.

So the next time a UFC fighter goes for a guillotine or ankle lock, and the overeager fan at the bar thinks it’s all over — quick! — bet him the next round that there’s an escape…and cheers.

For more on the science and stats of MMA, follow @Fightnomics on Twitter or on Facebook. See more MMA analytical research at www.fightnomics.com.

(How much of a gentlemen is Brian Stann? He tried to break Santiago’s UFC curse the only way he knew how; with a kiss on bended knee.) 

Woe is Jorge Santiago. “The Sandman” has been put to sleep in three out of his five performances in his two runs with the UFC, and was released a second time after dropping a unanimous decision to Demian Maia at UFC 136. But whenever we catch a glimpse of him in a smaller promotion, you’d think you were watching some up and coming prospect that the UFC  must be overlooking. As Tim McCarver would say, as good as Santiago has looked outside the UFC, that’s how as bad he’s looked inside of it. Since exiting the promotion, Santiago has scored a devastating first round knockout of his own over Leonardo Pecanha last March, and tried to make it two in a row when he squared off against 16-5 Justin Guthrie in the main event of last weekend’s TFC 23 card in Fort Riley, Kansas.

Spoiler alert: Santiago picked up another first round finish, this time by reverse heel hook. Unfortunately for “The Sandman,” he was knocked unconscious by the phone call he received from Joe Silva shortly thereafter.

Video after the jump.

Lazy Photoshop? Ninja please, this was done in Paint.

We’ve flirted with this idea before. We even gave you a brief tease before we decided we’re saving ourselves for a committed relationship. But this time around, we’re being totally serious: Ask the Potato is returning. Starting this Saturday, we’ll be generously sharing our knowledge with you on anything (at least somewhat MMA related) that your heart desires. And we’ll be doing this on a consistent basis from now on. You’re welcome in advance.

Basically, you can send us questions through our Facebook page. You can tweet them to us from that Twitter account you pretend you don’t have. You can register for our forums and post your questions there. Or you can just post them in the comments section of this article. You know, whatever works for you.

(A little club soda will get that right out.)

When discussing his fourth round tapout loss to UFC Light Heavyweight Champ Jon Jones, Rampage Jackson explained that he lets no man put him to sleep because he doesn’t trust people. I’m not exactly certain what Jackson fears might unfold once he goes out, but vile atrocities such as antiquing and billboarding have been perpetrated on unconscious fighters before. But there’s a certain amount of trust that goes into tapping out as well. The tapout is nothing more than a gentlemen’s agreement, really, in which one fighter admits that he’s taken enough punishment for one day. But not everyone in the face-punching business is a gentleman, and sometimes your opponent may not agree that you’ve taken all of the damage you deserve.

When you hold a submission too long there’s a chance of causing damage to a limb or unconsciousness, but it always leads to hurt feelings.

Sexy Girls Teach MMA Submissions – Watch more Funny Videos

Bodog Fight may have been a cracker-jack operation run by (alleged) criminals, but their ring girls were freakin’ amazing. We just stumbled across their old series of MMA instructional clips, in which the Bodog Girls acted as lovely assistants to professional fighters. First up is Matt Thorpe, who teaches the chest-to-chest sweep. ("Nice job, ladies," indeed.) Check out the rest of the series below, where Kultar "Black Mamba" Gill takes us through the very sensual north-south triangle, Daniel Puder demonstrates an armbar from guard, and Chael Sonnen submits a model via rear-naked choke.

(Props: fightface.blogspot.com)

It’s the start of another month, which means it’s time to check out the latest highlight reel from Facey. The March ’09 edition features Matt Hamill‘s thunderous head-kick KO of Mark Munoz, David Gardner‘s "Hello Japan!" epic fail, Shane Carwin‘s triumph over Gabriel Gonzaga (watch the inset to see proof that Carwin’s victims always fall into an Indian-style sitting position), Jose Aldo‘s latest destruction, King Mo body-slamming another Asian, the Jackson/Jardine war, Mike Brown’s first title defense, and more. Great stuff, as always.

Below: lookoutawhale‘s new installment of the "Riddum Revenge" series, a short but sweet tribute to George St. Pierre’s superman punch.

(Props: TheGarv)

If you missed the UFC’s video tribute to Charles "Mask" Lewis during UFC Fight Night: Condit vs. Kampmann, check it out after the jump.

(Worst Affliction t-shirt ever?  Or best Slash t-shirt ever?)

Following his dismal performance at UFC 92 and subsequent release from the UFC (at his request, which is like telling your boss you quit immediately after he’s discovered that you’ve been stealing), Dean Lister is headed back where he belongs: grappling tournaments.  Lister will be back at the Abu Dhabi’s and word has it that he’s angling for a move up in weight to take on Fedor Emelianenko, who’s expected to enter this year.

On one hand, it’s good to see Lister back in his element.  As great a submissions fighter as he is, he’s not much of an MMA fighter at this point.  He tried to pull guard on Yushin Okami for three rounds and got a chorus of boos for his trouble.  He then apologized to his fans while reminding us that he could kick all of our asses, just in case you were in any danger of feeling sympathy for him.

But Lister is a middleweight.  Fedor is a heavyweight.  Even if he weren’t also one of the best fighters on the planet, the weight difference is already a huge advantage.  But would it be pretty awesome to see Fedor in a pure grappling match against one of America’s best pure grapplers?  It would.  He tapped out his brother with no problem, but "The Boogeyman" has a significantly better grappling resume.  He is also free of blood-borne diseases (sorry, had to do it).

Regardless, a Fedor/Lister grappling match has the potential to get even the more casual MMA viewers slightly interested in the Abu Dhabi’s.  And that’s without the brutal violence of MMA, Bob Reilly.  What now?

(Props: Caposa3 via "CRE" on the UG)

Less than three full months into 2009, and we’ve already seen some of the most creative submissions and brutal KOs in recent memory; this new highlight comp collects the best of them. Between the slo-mo footage and understated, ambient soundtrack, moments like Demian Maia‘s triangle choke of Chael Sonnen (1:17-1:47) and Nate Marquardt‘s devastation of Wilson Gouveia (3:46-4:02) seem even more epic. Enjoy. 

 
Our highlight-video-making buddy Facey has launched a new site called FightFace, where he’ll be compiling the best MMA moments of every month into a single convenient clip. As far as source material is concerned, it doesn’t get much better than December 2008, which is the subject of Facey’s first installment. See above for the craziest stoppages from the TUF 8 finale, UFC’s "Fight for the Troops," WEC 37, UFC 92, and Fields Dynamite!! 2008. It’s an awesome project so keep your eye on it and show some support.

Also: If you don’t think it’s too early in the day to watch bikini-clad chicks gyrate at an MMA ring girl competition, you may want to watch the clip after the jump.

10. Ricardo Almeida guillotines Rob Yundt (2/2/08)
After almost four years away from the game Ricardo Almeida returned at UFC 81 to take on Alaska’s Rob Yundt.  The Gracie fighter wasted no time getting it to the mat and when Yundt tried to reverse postions he locked in a guillotine choke with one arm inside.  Yundt thought he’d just slam his way out, but Almeida wasn’t having it.  He used the momentum to flip Yundt over and then finished the choke from the top position at the 1:08 mark.  Smooth, bra.

9. Yoshiyuki Yoshida chokes out War Machine (5/24/08)

Japan’s Yoshiyuki Yoshida made his UFC debut at UFC 84 against the man then known as Jon Koppenhaver.  Yoshida locked up an anaconda choke less than a minute into the first and Koppenhaver, alpha male that he is, declined to tap and instead took a pleasant little nap.  Okay, so it’s only a technical submission, and not the fanciest finish you’ll ever see, but damn was it satisfying.  War (or Mr. Machine, as he’s known down at the bank) would later get chucked from the UFC for making stupid comments about Evan Tanner’s death and for refusing a fight with Brandon Wolff.  Yoshida would go on to get knocked into a Zen-like peacefulness by Josh Koscheck.

8. B.J. Penn squeezes the juice out of Joe Stevenson (1/19/08)

CagePotato reader Facey sent us this rather sick-ass highlight video that he made, featuring some of the greatest MMA submissions ever, starring Shinya Aoki, Dustin Hazelett, "Jacare" Souza, Frank Mir, Rumina Sato, Anderson Silva (both giving and receiving), and both Diaz brothers. Easy-breezy soundtrack provided by Donavan. 

 
(Props: Bloody Elbow)

In this promo clip for UFC 92, light-heavyweight champ Forrest Griffin discusses his opponent Rashad Evans and what challenges he might present. It’s clear that Griff isn’t underestimating Sugar whatsoever. As he says, "He’s got more knockouts than I do. And his knockouts have been impressive. Like, people-don’t-get-up-right-away knockouts." Speaking of Forrest Griffin, his September 2003 IFC fight with Chael Sonnen is after the jump, courtesy of MMA Scraps.

(The Gracie/Tadeu fiasco.)

— Renzo Gracie vs. Eugenio Tadeu ruled a No Contest (Fans Rioted)

— Frank Trigg def. Dennis Hallman via TKO (Abandonment)

— Marcelo Goncalves def. Cristian Quezada via Submission (No Apparent Reason) [See also: Firmino/Santana, Neto/Goodridge]

(James Irvin vs. Bobby Southworth)

— James Irvin vs. Bobby Southworth ruled a No Contest (Both fighters fell from the cage)

— Matt Makowski def. Nick Serra via DQ (Wouldn’t Get Up From Butt Scoot) [Ed. note: And I was there! See also: Daniel Moraes]
 

(Now maybe work on defending it. Just saying.)

Former WWE wrestler Brock Lesnar is getting wise to this jiu-jitsu stuff with help of seven-time world champion Rodrigo “Comprido” Medeiros. While the business end of the submissions is the part that Lesnar should really be worried about, it’s good to see that he’s getting help from someone who knows.

Lesnar’s taking on Heath Herring at UFC 87, and while “The Texas Crazyhorse” has a fair amount of submission victories under his belt, the last one was back in 2003. Herring might rather keep it standing in order to test out the angry four-year-old punching style that Lesnar displayed against Frank Mir.

In a recent interview with MMA Weekly, Herring had this to say about what he expected from Lesnar:

“From my own personal experience, guys that are that green and new, they kind of revert to that adrenaline rush and that’s what I’m anticipating he’s going to do as well. I think he’s going to be pretty wild and come out and do what we saw him do against Frank (Mir).”

Lesnar may be working out with “Comprido”, but Herring says he’s been training with Randy Couture. At least both guys will be well-prepared. One has to wonder though, what becomes of Lesnar if Herring puts a second straight loss on his record?

(Props: the UG, via Five Ounces of Pain)

On Monday, Masakazu Imanari lost his DEEP featherweight title to Dokonjonosuke Mishima, who had dropped his last two fights to Kenny Florian and Joe Stevenson in the UFC. I guess this negates all the nice things we’ve said about Imanari. But as you can see, Mishima’s celebratory backflip didn’t go so well. The dude should take lessons from Krazy Horse. And now that I have your attention, here’s the slickest highlight video I’ve seen all week, courtesy of MMAScraps.
(Update: Wow, if that’s playing like garbage for you too, just go here.)

By CagePotato contributor Kipp Tribble

10. Jens Pulver vs John Lewis (15 seconds)
UFC 28: High Stakes was the venue for this classic KO. The left hook that Lil’ Evil lands is the stuff that bar-fight dreams are made of. Lewis hits the mat and appears to want to fight the ref for a few seconds until deciding he’s better off lying still. Not much to it, but damn what a shot to the face – and one that pushed Lewis into early retirement.

9. Gary Goodridge vs Paul Herrerra (13 seconds).
Way back in 1996 at UFC 8: David vs. Goliath, Goodridge squared up against Herrera in what was being billed as a “solid match.” If by “solid” they meant a guy getting elbowed almost to death, then solid it was. Goodridge quickly wrapped Herrera up and was on his way to a submission, but decided, “Why not? I’ll just try and kill him instead.” Double G then proceeds to land elbow after elbow to Herrera’s temple, rendering him pretty damn lifeless.

8. Aleksander Emelianenko vs. James Thompson (11 seconds)
Well, this one just makes us smile. First you have James Thompson, built like a Mack truck and shaking with fury. Then you have doughy Aleksander Emelianenko, who looks like he just woke up from a nap. As they meet in the center of the ring, Thompson gives Emelianenko a stare-down that would crush cement; Emelianenko calmly wipes a booger off his upper lip. If you haven’t seen what happens next, we won’t spoil it for you…

Pictured: Akihiro Gono’s pretzel-like armbar of Tamdan McCrory at UFC 78. The foot up the shorts is just there for added humilation.