(The appropriately epic poster for Dynamite!! 2009.)

Members of FEG and World Victory Road held a press conference earlier today in Japan to discuss their collaborative effort for New Year’s Eve, Dynamite!! 2009: The Power of Courage. A batch of fights were announced, and the lineup (via Nightmare of Battle) is looking like this so far…

MMA Heavyweight Feature:
Satoshi Ishii vs. Hidehiko Yoshida

Super Hulk Tournament Final:
Ikuhisa "Minowaman" Minowa vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou

DREAM vs. Sengoku Raiden Championship:
Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto vs. Masanori Kanehara
Hiroyuki Takaya vs. Michihiro Omigawa
Hideo Tokoro vs. Marlon Sandro
Hayato “Mach” Sakurai vs. Akihiro Gono
Katsuyori Shibata vs. Hiroshi Izumi
Alistair Overeem vs. Kazuyuki Fujita

(In the animal kingdom, playing dead can be considered an intelligent defense. In an MMA fight, not so much. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Yesterday’s event may have been low on spectacle, but DREAM plans to come back strong for their next show. Here’s what’s on the card for DREAM.11 (October 6th, Yokohama):

— The long-awaited rubber-match between Shinya Aoki and Joachim Hansen. The two top-ten lightweights first met at PRIDE Shockwave 2006, where Aoki took out Hellboy via gogoplata. But Hansen got revenge last July, scoring a brutal TKO over Aoki at DREAM’s lightweight GP finals. Hansen has been inactive since that fight, while Aoki has gone 4-1, earning victories over Eddie Alvarez and Vitor Ribeiro, with his only loss to Hayato Sakurai in an ill-advised welterweight match.

(You know, Jason, it would be nice if your junk transitioned to a renewable energy source. Photo courtesy of DreamOfficial.com)

The return of Kid Yamamoto. Light-heavyweights fighting super-heavyweights. Desperate baseball players possibly dying in the ring. Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to see some crazy shit. DREAM.9 kicks off in a few minutes, and if you’re reading this live, God bless you. Round-by-round updates from the HDNet broadcast are after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest. If there’s a long stretch of time where there’s no updates, it just means that I’ve fallen asleep. Let’s all hope that doesn’t happen.
 

(Image courtesy of DreamOfficial.com)

Maybe the word "epic" is overused on the Internet. Certainly we’ve been guilty of using it vain when "totally sweet" would have sufficed. But I think "epic" really does apply to DREAM.9 (May 26th, Yokohama) which contains the quarterfinals of DREAM’s "Super Hulk Tournament" and Featherweight Grand Prix, as well as a great lightweight feature between Tatsuya Kawajiri and Gesias Cavalcante, and the middleweight title fight between Jason Miller and Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza.

The show will be broadcast in North America on HDNet Tuesday morning at 5 a.m. ET/2 a.m. PT, and while I’m not really down with farmer’s hours, I might have to watch this one live (and maybe even liveblog it) — especially since it’ll also represent an emotional farewell to HDNet. Right, so DREAM.9′s official fight order will be…

(Look at it this way, at least there won’t be a big traffic jam trying to get out of here.)

What you see here is Jose Canseco’s attempt at a press conference to discuss the L.A. Dodgers’ Manny Ramirez and his recent suspension for popping positive on a MLB-mandated drug test.  Judging by the number of chairs they put out, it did not get the kind of attendance they hoped for.  But hey, that just means more finger sandwiches for Jose to take home with him.  So why did Canseco, a retired baseball player, call a press conference to talk about a current baseball player’s drug use?  Because he’s a goddamned media whore.  And why are we telling you about it?  Because a) his participation in the upcoming Dream “Super Hulk” tournament has reminded us that he’ll do anything for money and attention, and b) it’s hilarious. 

And that “Super Hulk” tournament, it’s airing live on HDNet.  Thank God for small miracles, am I right?

In other, actual MMA news…

(‘I solemnly swear to kick some Korean giant ass.’)

If you’re anything like us, only now have you finally stopped LOL-ing about Jose Canseco’s ridiculous involvement in the upcoming Dream “Super Hulk” tournament.  Not only is it a completely ‘tarded idea for a former pro athlete who is universally despised in his own sport to try and jump into MMA to make a quick buck, but he’s doing so against Hong Man Choi, just in case it wasn’t enough of a freak show already.  But that got us thinking, if Canseco can do it, why not other disgraced pro athletes?

Here’s a few we wouldn’t mind seeing in a Japanese free-for-all, shit-show of an event.