(“Can you guys hurry this up? My Mom…I mean The Phoenix signal is calling.”)

If you are an MMA fan, a comic book fan, or just a really lonely guy, then you’ve probably heard the story of Phoenix Jones a.k.a Ben Fodor, the amateur MMA fighter/”superhero” that according to his Wikipedia page “is an American leader of a ten-member citizen crime-prevention patrol group who call themselves the Rain City Superhero Movement.” So basically, a bunch of dudes who never met a Friday night they couldn’t squander formed a neighborhood watch group and dressed in cosplay. Because as we all know, the best way to be taken seriously is to dress up like a bumblebee and hand out life lessons to the drunks who happen to stumble out of the bars each night.

In any case, the world’s least anonymous superhero encountered one such drunk last weekend. After informing the police of the situation, Fodor challenged the drunken fellow to “mutual combat,” which is apparently a law dictating that if two parties have expressed an equal desire to fight one another, they can do so without the threat of legal action as long as neither participant uses unreasonable force. Awesome.

Video after the jump.

Panic reigns supreme at UFC headquarters in the aftermath of Anderson Silva’s destruction of the strongest middleweight in the world. Dana White has been asking the same question for hours: NOW who do we put in front of Silva?

In a late-night spitballing session, Dana puts his question to his closest friends and confidants, hoping to devise a title defense that would actually be competitive. But while brainstorming can lead to bizarre, innovative ideas, Dana is unprepared for what sleep deprivation and caipirinhas have done to Joe Silva…

Ok, this is totally fake and i made it all up. There, you’ve been warned.

Come on in past the jump (if you dare), and check out the return of Keyboard Warriors. Props to Brandon Stroud over at WithLeather for coming up with a fun concept, but he doesn’t help write any of the jokes — blame those on me.

[RX]