(The toughest part of Bisping’s recovery? No sarcastic wanking-gestures for 4-6 weeks. / Photo via Getty Images)

As first reported by ESPN UK, UFC middleweight Michael Bisping saw a specialist on Tuesday to address a “trapped nerve” in his neck that is affecting the right side of his body, and he may undergo surgery to fix it before his UFC 159 meeting with Alan Belcher on April 27th. The nerve problem has caused significant muscle atrophy in Bisping’s right arm, and is even preventing him from making a fist. The Count explains:

“My right arm, and this is the first time I’ve mentioned this, I have a trapped nerve in my neck and [possibly] need surgery on my neck. The way they’ve described it is that if you stand on a hosepipe, a lot of the water doesn’t get through. The nerves along my right arm aren’t getting through.

“All along here (gestures towards his side and pectoral area), you could squeeze my pec, really get your nails into it, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. My right arm is so much weaker than my left, it’s called atrophy, my muscle is wasting away because nerve signals aren’t getting through. I need that taken care of but I’ve been fighting so much that I haven’t had time for the treatment…

“The thing is I’ve got another fight booked already. My hand, I can’t even make a fist because I keep going into fight after fight after fight. Really what I need is six months off — but I don’t want to take six months off. I like what I do, I like to be kept busy.”

(Weidman delivering an inspirational speech while still in his hospital bed, following surgery Wednesday | Via Weidman’s Youtube account)

The first step in Chris Weidman’s elaborate counter-plan to UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva chasing super-fights and blatantly avoiding him was completed Wednesday, as the contender underwent successful shoulder surgery. Weidman went under the knife to repair a host of problems, including a torn AC joint and a torn labrum and rotator cuff.

Unbeaten in nine professional fights, Weidman set himself apart as the clear number one contender to Silva’s belt with wins over former title challenger Demian Maia and fellow top contender Mark Munoz. The Long Island native’s campaign towards gold came at an inconvenient time as the champion turned his attention instead towards fights with Stephan Bonnar and, potentially, Georges St. Pierre, claiming he had no interest in defending his belt for some time.

Weidman was then matched up with Tim Boetsch at UFC 155, but his recent injuries forced him to pull out of the bout. Silva is still campaigning for the fight with St. Pierre, but GSP seems reluctant, at best, to make it happen. With Silva off filming the next, great crime film epic and saying he won’t fight again until late 2013, it looks like he and the number one contender’s schedules might just match up once more. Through his twitter account, Weidman said, “Surgery went perfect…I will be 90 percent in three months and 100 in four!”

(An approximation of Dana’s reaction when we asked him the minimum number of dicks we would have to suck to get a press pass back.) 

Yes, you read that title correctly. No, it is not sarcasm and no, this is not a feeble attempt to get back into Dana’s good graces on our part. There are some bridges that are simply meant to be burned and we are willing to accept that. But we think you all should know that The Baldfather is finally expected to undergo surgery to combat the Meniere’s Disease he has publicly struggled with for some time now, and we should all be willing to put our personal issues with the guy aside for the moment and wish him the best of luck and a smooth recovery.

Dana made the announcement this morning via his Twitter:

Taking off right now for UFC RIO!! Anderson Silva vs Stephan Bonnar, pumped for Erick Silva vs Fitch too. Here I come BRAZIL!!!!!!
Saw the Dr today about my menieres and I’m getn the surgery when I get home from Brazil!!!!! #getmyfuknlifeback

If you are unfamiliar with the disease, head after the jump for a full breakdown.

(“So that’s where all of my remote controls went.”)

Mark Munoz underwent surgery yesterday to repair damage he thought he sustained in training for his upcoming UFC on Fox 2 fight with Chael Sonnen, but it turned out the pain he was feeling in his elbow was caused by a combination of bone spurs on and bone chips he’s had floating around in the joint for a while. Munoz’s surgeon removed a total of 24 combined spurs and chips. Luckily for all of us sick bastards who’ve watched “Two Girls One Cup” or spent countless hours on PopThatZit.com, Mark posted some disgusting photos of the shrapnel that resemble artifacts found during an archaeological dig.

For the rest of you Nancies, don’t travel past the jump, lest you might throw up on your keyboards, which is a real bitch to clean up. Trust us.

No, that’s not a photo of Stephen Hawking in bed, it’s actually Georges St-Pierre already rehabbing his reconstructed knee just five days removed from ACL surgery.

The toughest fighter you’ll see all day. Pic via Daniel James Miller Foundation.

As you know, we’ve been following an unfortunate story regarding UFC middleweight Dan Miller‘s son, Danny Jr., who is suffering from polycystic kidney disease (PKD) and needs a kidney transplant. The transplant itself is going to cost $100,000, not to mention the additional $10,000 per month in medication for at least one year that is only partially covered by his insurance. We’ve been asking for your help with donations, and you have been generous to the cause so far.

The struggle is by no means over, but we’re pleased to learn that Daniel James Miller has a kidney transplant scheduled for late-January, according to MMAJunkie.com. The surgery was made possible by significant donations from UFC co-owners Lorenzo Fertitta and Dana White.

“It’s the weirdest thing, Doc. It feels just fine when I stand like this.” (Photo: Francis Specker)

In a post to his blog titled “Unfinished Business”, top UFC heavyweight Shane Carwin revealed yesterday that for the second time in a year he will be going under the knife.

“I have spent my entire fighting career dealing with injuries from my football career. I have done my best to get through my training and I have been blessed to get through my fights with relatively little to no damage.

The decision was easy. I have unfinished business. The UFC had me lined up to face one of the best in the world and I am confident I have everything I need to be a Champion. I am scheduling surgery and I hope to return to the Octagon by spring or summer 2012.”

(Photo courtesy of MMADiehards)

Considering he’s stuck in surgery this morning to repair the damage he sustained from Charles Oliveira’s questionable knee last night at UFC Live on Versus 4, at least Nik Lentz won’t be leaving Pennsylvania with a bad taste in his mouth.

According to Lentz’s “The Academy” MMA instructor Greg Nelson, the Pennsylvania Athletic Commission has ruled that the knee Oliveira connected with was indeed an illegal one as Lentz’s right knee was on the canvas.

Here’s what Nelson posted on his Facebook page late last night:

Props to Jon Fitch for saying no to peer pressure. While all the cool kids are canceling fights to have surgery, then canceling the surgery itself, Fitch decided to actually go under the knife to repair the shoulder that pulled him from his rematch with BJ Penn. In the latest of his high-quality vlogs, he takes us back through his preparation for surgery.

What we learn: Fitch’s girlfriend is pretty attractive by societal standards; packing is easy when you’ve got clothing companies up your ass; if you’re a top-dog in your division, the UFC won’t wait until June 1st to hook you up.

("They used Krazy Glue to fix the problem, so I guess you can say my brain is a bit more crazy now." — Thiago Alves)

Three weeks ago, and only a few days prior to his UFC 111 showdown with fellow UFC welterweight contender Jon Fitch, officials from the New Jersey State Athletic Control Board (NJSACB) discovered an abnormality in Thiago Alves’ brain and pulled him from the card. If left untreated, Doctors informed the 24-year-old that the affliction could have proven fatal had he incurred any brain trauma from fighting or even sparring.

NJSACB medical official, Dr. Sherry Wulkan is credited with discovering Alves’ condition from a discrepancy between a CT scan image done on the Brazilian fighter in 2005 and one he had taken a week before the ill-fated fight with Fitch. Subsequent tests revealed that an artery in Thiago’s brain was dangerously close to becoming fused with a neighboring vein.

Alves explains that although it would not necessarily have proven fatal under normal circumstances, had the two vessels joined, his chances of mortality would have increased tenfold.