MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: suspension

Chael Sonnen: Future NSAC Advisor, and Other Lowlights From Today’s NSAC Hearing


(“I’d like to present the commission with exhibit A, and remind them that they are standing in the presence of greatness.” Photo via Getty.)

At this point, I’m convinced that Chael Sonnen could literally crawl through a river of shit and come out clean on the other side. His ability to put on a fancy suit and speak in slightly nuanced platitudes without the necessity of a translator has apparently cast a spell over MMA fans, fighters, promoters, and commissioners, from which they will never wake up.

Case in point, at today’s NSAC hearing — you know, the one where Vitor Belfort was granted a fight license because whatevs — Sonnen was handed down his punishment for failing two random drug tests in a row prior to UFC 175. After thankfully opting against a defense (outside of whatever this was) for his drug test failures, Sonnen was raked over the coals by the commission for “trying to flat out cheat the system.”

“You don’t get to stop one prohibited drug and start using five prohibited drugs,” said the Assistant AG of the Nevada State Athletic Commission, “You’ve gotten to be kidding me that you’re sticking a needle in you with EPO and HGH and didn’t know it was prohibited.”

Surely, a swift punishment was just moments away.

LOL NOPE. Despite facing a potential lifetime ban from MMA and fines totaling upwards of $250,000, the NSAC opted to slap Sonnen with a (completely meaningless now that he’s retired) two year suspension and a fine totaling 0.00 dollars. Then they offered him a f*cking job. Ahh, sweet justice!

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The UFC’s New Code of Conduct Will Keep Fighters In Line (When It’s Convenient)


(HOW DO I REACH THESE KEEEEDS?! Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

By George Shunick 

Matt Mitrione’s recent controversy isn’t the first time a fighter has opened his (or her) mouth and said something stupid. It’s also not the first time a fighter has been punished by Zuffa for doing so. Due to the seemingly arbitrary manner in which punishments were handed out, and the ambiguous definition of offenses deemed unacceptable, there has long been a need for a basic code of conduct for UFC employees and athletes.

This was finally realized earlier this year, and the new code of conduct was made public one week ago. In fact, it’s been used by UFC Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer Lawrence Epstein as a means of persuading the New York State assembly to recognize MMA as a legitimate sport, and the UFC as a legitimate organization on par with the NFL and MLB. But while it marks a progressive effort on the part of the UFC in establishing ethical guidelines for fighters, it’s still prone to the same criticisms of favoritism that the UFC has endured due to its past disciplinary discrepancies.

The first section of the code of conduct regards criminal offenses; specifically, “the use or threat of violence,” “domestic violence,” “theft,” “sex offenses,” “obstruction or resisting arrest,” “disorderly conduct,” “fraud,” “racketeering,” and “money laundering.” Most of these should be pretty obvious offenses. What is less clear, however, is whether or not a fighter has to be convicted of these offenses to be punished for them.

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Bold Statement of the Day: Matt Riddle Will “Probably Say No” When the UFC Comes Calling in a Few Years


(And this is the face he will make after he does.) 

Since being released from the UFC following his second positive test for marijuana in his past three fights, TUF 7 alum Matt Riddle has been doing his damnedest to burn every last bridge that might possibly connect him to the organization he has literally built his entire professional MMA career in. And while Riddle succeeded in raising some interesting questions regarding the UFC’s policy of hiring and firing fighters during his recent interview on The MMA Hour, he also succeeded in completely sabotaging any potential of a return trip to the sport’s highest promotion, which according to him, is something he would prefer:

What I see happening is, a year or two from now the UFC calls me back after I’ve won probably like five or six fights, hopefully. And I’ll probably, at the time, say, ‘No.’ Because I really don’t like the direction they’re taking the company. They’re firing high-level talent so they can have lower level talent just scrap, and they’d rather have a brawl than a good technical fight. I think that’s going to be their downfall, because the fans are getting more educated. They’re getting smarter, and they don’t want to just see a slugfest and two retarded guys with brain damage bleeding everywhere.

Dana White’s response was expectantly blunt. Get it? Blunt? Be honest, that pun is so great you’d probably beat your kids in a fit of jealous rage if you weren’t so goddamn stoned.

Much more from this interview after the jump. 

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NSAC Recap: Chael Sonnen Granted TUE, Nick Diaz Receives 12 Month Suspension

Anderson Silva Chael Sonnen UFC 117
(Negative side effects of TRT: Bacne. Positive side effects: Falcon Punch.) 

My God, today’s NSAC meeting, which determined both Chael Sonnen’s future ability to continue legally injecting steroids testosterone replacement therapy and Nick Diaz’s minimum retirement length was like watching Lawrence of Arabia, twice, minus all of the train explosions and shots of interesting desert landscapes. To describe the six hour hearing in a word: humdrum. Thankfully, we’ll be much briefer in summing up what went down.

To kick off the afternoon, Sonnen was successful in achieving a therapeutic use exemption for testosterone replacement therapy, and now joins the like of Dan Henderson, Todd Duffee, and Shane Roller in the select group of MMA fighters to receive an exemption from the Nevada State Athletic Commission. As far as interesting developments go, Sonnen admitted that he injected himself with testosterone, stating, ”I administer two times a week, every Sunday and Thursday. It’s self-injected intermusculatory and [I] consider it to be a prescription.” When Commissioner Pat Lundvall asked why Sonnen had never listed using testosterone on his medical forms over the past few years, Sonnen stated that he was under the impression that it wasn’t something that needed to be disclosed. He also stated under oath that he “has never taken anabolic steroids.”

In another interesting moment, which took place before the hearing truly began, Keith Kizer likened TRT to “the new Viagra” as doctors continue to push it on the population and that “Therapuetic Use Exemptions do not allow you to test outside of normal ranges. It only allows for presence of synthetics.” Does this make Sonnen TRT’s Smiling Bob? Only time will tell.

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Chisora Slapped With Fine and Indefinite Ban by WBC for Slap On Klitschko, Brawl With and Death Threat to Haye


(Boxing: Making MMA fans since 1996)

The World Boxing Council yesterday handed down a stiff punishment to heavyweight Derek Chisora for what they have termed “one of the worst behaviors ever by a professional boxer” in the months and days leading up to and the hours after his February 18 championship bout with Vitali Klitschko in Munich.

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Keith Jardine’s Week Just Went From Bad to Worse


(If you ask me to do the Techno Viking dance one more time, I’m shoving that glove up your ass.)

When Keith Jardine lost his Shark Fights debut against Trevor Prangley last weekend, effectively racking up his fifth straight loss, it didn’t seem like things could get much worse for the struggling former UFC light heavyweight.

It appears it did.

Jardine has been suspended indefinitely pending a disciplinary hearing for allegedly shoving a Texas Combative Sports Program official prior to his main event fight Saturday night.

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Yep, Sean Salmon Should Have Kept His Big Mouth Shut

Sean Salmon
(Most realistic wax sculpture ever?)

Depending on how many times you’ve been hit in the head lately, you may or may not remember the brief, but furious little dust-up about Sean Salmon’s claim that he had allowed himself to be armbarred in a fight this past June in order to avoid damage and keep his job as a Wolfslair sparring partner.  The way we saw it, Salmon admitted to quitting in the fight, not throwing it, and he was guilty of nothing more than screwed up priorities and extremely bad judgment.  The Ohio State Athletic Commission decided it was a little more serious than that, and they suspended Salmon for a year and fined him $2,500 for his transgression.

Fortunately for Salmon the suspension is retroactive to the date of the fight, so he’ll be eligible to compete again in June of 2010, but the damage to his reputation may last much longer than that.  The punishment seems extreme, particularly when you consider that Salmon really only hurt himself by both giving up on the fight and then telling the entire MMA world about it.  Had he just taken the loss as learning experience and not written a column offering up an excuse for it, this wouldn’t have been necessary. 

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Karo Parisyan Suspended, Fined, Stripped of Last Win, and Told “Good Day” by NSAC

Karo Parisyan UFC 94 MMA Dong Hyun Kim Josh Rosenthal
(Parisyan was also "strongly encouraged" to get an eyebrow-wax. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

It seems like our earlier post on today’s Penn/St. Pierre NSAC hearing contained a bit of foreshadowing. Yes, fights in Nevada can be overturned if one of the fighters was using banned substances, and Karo Parisyan just learned that the hard way. "The Heat" was busted last month after testing positive for three different painkillers following his three-round snoozer with Dong Hyun Kim at UFC 94. Well, the verdict has finally come down, and Parisyan has been nailed with a nine-month suspension, a $32,000 fine (40% of his total purse), and the official voiding of his split-decision victory against Kim. That fight will now be known as a "no decision," which means that Kim is still technically undefeated. As Sherdog reports:

Parisyan, who was not represented by legal counsel at the hearing, pleaded for leniency before the commission after he admitted his guilt. “This is my only form of income,” Parisyan said. “If I don’t fight, I’m nothing. I’m very, very sorry. It was completely unintentional. This is embarrassing for me.” …
 
Commissioner John Bailey reacted sternly to Parisyan, both for his use of pain pills that had not been prescribed and his failure to disclose use on the questionnaire. “[The commission has] to know what’s going on with you,” Bailey said. “You just decided to not be truthful on a pre-fight questionnaire. We can’t have fighters drifting in and out of reality."
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Kiril Sidelnikov, Of All People, Tests Positive for Steroids

Kiril Sidelnokov MMA steroids Paul Buentello
(Yeah, the doughy dude on the left. Crazy. Photo courtesy of Esther Lin.)

Bad news via MMA Mania:

Kirill Sidelnikov, who last competed at Affliction’s Day of Reckoning event on January 24, has been suspended for testing positive for Stanozolol. The suspension period is retroactive to the conclusion of the bout on January 24 and runs through January 18, 2010. He has been fined $2,500. The mere presence of Stanozolol in the system constitutes a violation under the new testing procedures for CSAC.

You may remember Sidelnikov as "Baby Fedor," the trusted Emelianenko training partner who went into a heavyweight match against Paul Buentello at Day of Reckoning looking like he should be competing at middleweight, and got raped. Between his performance and his appearance, he’d be the last guy we’d suspect of having a chemical advantage. And yet he pissed dirty for a synthetic anabolic steroid derived from testosterone. This world is full of surprises.

Dollars to donuts he’ll be using Tim Sylvia’s patented "I was only using it to trim my physique" defense, which will probably be good enough for him to compete again in Russian MMA leagues, where they don’t even care that Aleksander Emelianenko is competing with tainted blood. But from our view, this might cast some suspicion on Fedor himself. The WAMMA champ and his protege trained together every day — might he have been aware that Sidelnikov was cutting corners?

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Karo Parisyan: “I’m Going to Be Homeless By the End of the Year”

Karo Parisyan MMA UFC
(Photo courtesy of 5oz.)

Following his bust for three unapproved painkillers following UFC 94, Karo Parisyan was hoping to take his suspension and try to move on with his life. Unfortunately, he’s still stuck in punitive limbo, as he was informed in a Nevada State Athletic Commission hearing yesterday that a final decision regarding his positive drug test won’t be announced until next month. Though Parisyan is still under a temporary suspension, his actual suspension will be retroactive to January 31st; in other words, it won’t begin on the date that the final suspension is determined, which is good news. Still, the uncertainty isn’t exactly helping the Heat’s panic-related issues. As he told MMA Junkie:

"I’ve got to come back (in March), and if they take my money and [heavily] fine me, I won’t make it until the end of the year. It’s that bad for me with income. If they won’t level with me, it’s going to be pretty hard for me.
 
I’m just going to tell them, ‘Listen, I’m sorry.’ I had a prescription for one pain pill; the other I didn’t have a prescription for. I have a very high resistance to pain pills, and I took some. I’m sorry.
 
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