(I tell you what, if Maynard is able to catch Grant in his patented Indian rug burn, this shit is gonna be all over.) 

Figuratively speaking, Gray Maynard has not been involved in a UFC fight since he came up short against Frankie Edgar at UFC 136 in October of 2011. Sure, he did his best to nullify the “offense” of Clay Guida at UFC on FX 4 last June, but that exercise in tedium was less a fight and more like watching your cataract-stricken friend try to wrangle up all the cuccos in Kakariko Village on The Legend of Zelda. Although ”The Bully” was expected to face Joe Lauzon at UFC 155 last December, he was forced out of the bout with a knee injury that has sidelined him ever since.

But if the above gif is any indication, Maynard has been staying quite active on the sidelines and will be more than ready for his return to the octagon on May 25th at UFC 160, where he will face the streaking veteran T.J. Grant in a battle of top contenders. Grant has been on something resembling a killing spree lately, collecting four straight wins including a first round annihilation of Matt Wiman at UFC on Fox 6 last month. The far-and-away most impressive aspect of Grant’s recent wins has been the drastic improvement to his stand up game, an attribute he credits to the time he spent training in Thailand.

In a way, this fight is kind of a lose-lose for Maynard, at least by Ed Soares’ concept of the term.

(Matt Hamill plays airplane with his freakishly large, Progeria-ridden child after defeating Roger Hollett earlier in the evening.)

It may be a futile effort to draft up these Armchair Matchmakers given the chaos that injuries are creating at every turn these days, but God damn it, a comedic MMA website has to have its principles! So with that in mind, we decided to scour through the wreckage left behind by UFC 152 and provide some potential opponents for the UFC to consider when booking the night’s biggest winners down the line. Join us and voice your opinions in the comments section, won’t you?

Jon Jones: Despite his best trolling efforts, it appears as if the UFC will actually show some common sense and wait to see if Chael Sonnen can at least defeat one “contender” at 205 (you know, the one he’s supposed to face) before expediting him right to a title shot because the fans apparently control the matchups all of a sudden. We were all for Sonnen/Jones on 8 days notice, but it’s clear that Jones only has two opponents truly worthy of getting ground into dog meat by him next. The first is Dan Henderson, who Jones blamed for the whole UFC 151 fiasco in the first place. He’s clearly next in line in a division that is suddenly absent of marketable contenders (sorry, Alex) and will hopefully be back to his normal H-bombing self before osteoporosis sets in and we have to go through this all over again. The second option…well, let’s just say that he would give Jones an offer that he could neither refuse nor defend. Specifically, “Five of these across the sneeze.”