Sheesh, Randy and Chuck have really been hitting the Centrum Silver since they retired, huh?

Ever since the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act was passed in 1994, athletes have been aware that there may be more than just protein in the tubs of powder and bottles of pills found in their local grocery stores. The supplement industry isn’t exactly known for its history of ethical practices, and the deregulation of it has unsurprisingly caused manufacturers to push the limits of what can be snuck into their products. It’s widely been accepted that any supplement one purchases — be it the pre-workout stimulant that a personal trainer recommended or the “hardcore” testosterone booster that the local meathead swears is responsible for his 300+ pound frame — can result in a failed drug test, and that any athlete who uses supplements does so at his or her own risk.

Yet if you’ve followed this sport — or any sport, for that matter — for at least one week, you’re already sick of what’s been dubbed The Tainted Supplements Defense. You know the story by heart, and can recite it word-for-word before the athlete even issues a statement on the failed test: An athlete gets busted with a banned substance in his or her system, claims that an over-the-counter product is responsible for the failed drug test, swears that he or she would never resort to taking steroids, wishes that he or she never took the supplements before the fight and promises that it will never happen again. It’s just likely enough to be true, yet just unfalsifiable enough for a reasonable fan to reject.

Which is just one of many reasons why I am cordially inviting anyone blaming a failed drug test on an over-the-counter supplement to fucking stop doing so from this point forward. No matter what variation of the excuse you’re using, your excuse is bad, and you should feel bad. Let’s start off with the most popular variation:

Damn it! Why can’t any of MY supplements be tainted?!?

Well, that didn’t take long. Less than 24-hours after Cris Santos was fined and suspended by the California State Athletic Commission for failing her post-fight steroid test at “Strikeforce: Melendez vs Masvidal”, the now former Strikeforce women’s 145lb Champion has released a statement.

There are many hands a fighter can play after failing a PED test. There’s the ‘Bullshit Laboratory” defense, the “Recovering from an Injury” excuse, the “Poor Self Image” defense, and the increasingly popular “Deficient Testicles” defense. While some of these may have been invoked by “Cyborg”, she’s going with the tried and (possibly) true “Tainted Supplements” defense. It allows the busted fighter to admit that they are guilty of not closely monitoring their nutritional intake, but innocent of any deliberate wrong doing. And, if you’re keeping score, it’s been used by damn near every fighter ever busted for steroids.

But enough about what Santos could have said. Here she is, in her own words…

("What do you think about Syntha-6, Nate? I’ve been showing impressive gains while taking it.")

During an appearance on The Bum Rush Radio Show last week, UFC middleweight contender Nate Marquardt spoke about Chael Sonnen’s recent alleged positive test for elevated levels of testosterone.

Having been accused of PED use himself in 2005 after a positive test result for Nandralone netted him a six-month suspension by the Nevada State Athletic Commission following his decision win over Ivan Salaverry in his UFC debut, Marquardt is keeping an open mind when it comes to Sonnen’s situation.

Nate has always maintained that he never knowingly took the banned substance he tested positive for and that he believes the steroid was introduced to his system by dirty supplements he was taking prior to the bout. There have been several cases of PED-tainted supplements being sold in the U.S. and Canada over the years, so his story had merit, which is likely what led to NSAC lowering his suspension by one month.

He warns against MMA fans and members of the media persecuting Sonnen before he has his day in court December 2 when he meets with the California State Athletic Commission to appeal the one-year suspension and $2,500 fine he was handed down in September as a result of his alleged infraction.

"Until they’ve seen the test results and have researched it and know what they’re talking about, they should probably just [wait and] listen to what [Chael has to say]," he suggests.