(Dutch punch-faces are the best, aren’t they? Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

Kenny Florian (Submission of the Night), Roy Nelson (KO of the Night) and the duo of Ross Pearson/Dennis Siver (Fight of the Night) pocketed $30,000 bonuses for their work on last night’s UFC Fight Night 21 event, but what’s money compared to the numbers of the Potato Index? Sure, maybe the Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system can’t be exchanged for goods and services, but on the flip side, no one has ever accused the Index of being the root of all evil. Not yet, anyway.

Let’s see who’s up and who’s down on this fine Thursday morning.

Kenny Florian +74
Beating Gomi doesn’t mean quite as much as it once did, but Florian looked sharp, patient, and smart in victory. He probably still wouldn’t beat B.J. Penn, which makes him the second-best lightweight in the UFC. Guess it’s better than being the third-best.

(Don’t be afraid to stare. Roy Nelson is all man and he doesn’t care who knows it. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

Hope you’ve got your bucket of Bojangles fried chicken and your usual Wednesday night energy drink/prescription allergy medication buzz, because Charlotte is ready to rock for UFC Fight Night 21. Tonight we find out whether Takanori Gomi still has any fireballs left in his arsenal, as well as whether Roy Nelson can find a way inside of Stefan Struve’s reach without having his face turned to mush. Keep it locked right here for live results and commentary, or else spend the rest of your life wondering whether you might have missed the best fat joke ever told.

Follow me after the jump, and remember to hit refresh often.

(Props: Genghis Con)

Tonight’s UFC Fight Night card will feature three fresh prospects trying to make their names and one MMA legend — all of whom will be competing in the UFC for the first time in their careers. Which ones will rise to the challenge, and which ones will succumb to Octagon jitters and dangerous opponents? Get to know them below and let us know what you think…

TAKANORI GOMI (LW)
Experience: 31-5-0 record w/1 no-contest, with multiple appearances in PRIDE, Shooto, and Sengoku. Notable victories over Tatsuya Kawajiri, Hayato Sakurai, Jens Pulver, and Mitsuhiro Ishida. Most recently won a unanimous decision over Tony Hervey at Vale Tudo Japan 2009 last October.
Will be fighting: Kenny Florian (12-4, 10-3 UFC)
Lowdown: Only the noobiest of TUF noobs would need an introduction to the Fireball Kid, who has already secured his place as one of the greatest lightweight fighters of all time. A legendary former champion in both PRIDE and Shooto, Gomi unfortunately hasn’t looked the same since his gogoplata loss/marijuana no-contest against Nick Diaz in February 2007, as he’s suffered a couple of surprising defeats and struggled to put away opponents that he would have smashed in his prime. Though he vows to "create a ruckus" in the UFC, this bit of info is somewhat troubling: "I don’t have a cage in my gym, but I understand that the cage can either be used for me or be used against me. I’ll try not to think about the cage too much as I fight in it.” He’ll also need to adjust to elbow strikes on the ground, something he hasn’t had to deal with in Japan — which could become a painful factor against Ken-Flo.

(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

Well, the first of two weigh-ins for Wednesday night’s UFC Fight Night 21 on Spike TV went off without a hitch.  Now the boys have to worry about weigh-in number two tomorrow morning, where they can’t be more than thirteen pounds heavier than the official weight they clocked in at today. 

It’s an interesting policy to try and ensure that fighters aren’t cutting too much weight, but if they’re re-weighing them again in the morning, whether than right before fight time, you have to wonder whether it will really achieve the desired result.  Also, thirteen pounds seems pretty arbitrary.  For lightweights, it’s a pretty decent amount of leeway, but what if "Big Country" wants to hit the buffet?  Who does North Carolina think they are that they can tell him when to put down the fork?  That’s a decision that is between Roy and God.

Full weigh-in results are after the jump.

(Welcome to Kenny Florian’s den of debauchery. Enter with an open mind, and leave your innocence at the door. Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

After a successful weekend that saw your old pal the Enabler totally nail his official parlay pick, it’s time to reload for Wednesday’s “Florian vs. Gomi” Fight Night event live from the (not really) historic Bojangles Coliseum in Charlotte, North Carolina. Let’s look at some lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Kenny Florian (-275) vs. Takanori Gomi (+275)
Roy Nelson (-290) vs. Stefan Struve (+270)
Ross Pearson (-200) vs. Dennis Siver (+183)
Nate Quarry (-245) vs. Jorge Rivera (+220)
Andre Winner (-169) vs. Rafaello Oliveira (+150)
Jacob Volkmann (+220) vs. Ronnys Torres (-231)
Rob Emerson (+113) vs. Nik Lentz (-140)
Caol Uno (+251) vs. Gleison Tibau (-265)
Yushin Okami (-500) vs. Lucio Linhares (+450)
Gerald Harris (-155) vs. Mario Miranda (+130)
Charlie Brenneman (+150) vs. Jason High (-180)

The breakdown…

Another big week on MMA FightPicker is in the books, and would you believe that Ben and Ben ended up tied for 2nd place (along with Geriatric Peon) in their pool? I guess that’s what happens when you make the exact same selections. Who knew. Celebrity guest-picker Roy Nelson did about as well, and we applaud him for predicting Ricardo Almeida’s win over Matt Brown, as well as the lack of an early stoppage in St. Pierre/Hardy. Speaking of Nelson, Big Country makes his next Octagon appearance this Wednesday at UFC Fight Night 21: Florian vs. Gomi, which goes down at the Bojangles Coliseum in Charlotte. The event will be broadcast on Spike TV at 8 p.m. ET/PT, and will lead in to the season premiere of TUF 11.

How does this affect you as a FightPicker player? Well, you only have until Wednesday afternoon to enter this week’s pools and make your selections, so get your e-asses in gear and make it happen. There are no prizes up for grabs this time around; we’ll announce the winners of last week’s iPad pools as soon as we have them. Let’s take a look at the questions that are currently in play…

by Cage Potato contributor Elias Cepeda

After a dominant win over Clay Guida, Kenny Florian is setting his sights on UFC newcomer and former Pride champ Takanori Gomi.  In the exclusive talk with Cage Potato, he gives us his thoughts on the match-up, and lets us know how he really feels about seeing his old nemesis Diego Sanchez fleeing the lightweight division.

Fans have followed your twitter posts and saw you yesterday on ESPN’s “MMA Live” talking about fighting Takanori Gomi. Has anything developed further since then? Is the fight officially signed by all parties?

No nothing has been signed as of right now. We’re in talks and its being talked about as a main event of the March Fight Night card in North Carolina. I’m excited with that possibility but nothing has been signed yet. Of course it’s something that I’m willing to sign and I’m sure Gomi will as well when the contract has been delivered.

Were you surprised when it was announced that Gomi was signed by the UFC? He’s struggled since 2006 when he lost to Marcus Aurelio.

(Howler Monkey vs. former sensation, who ya got?)

One of our favorite aspects of Twitter is watching people try, and then inevitably fail, to keep a secret.  It never gets old.  For instance, first the official "MMA Live" Twitter posts a teaser that Kenny Florian will be revealing when his fight with former Pride star and UFC newcomer Takanori Gomi will take place.  Sounds like a reason to watch the show, right?  Then right after that they tell us it’s at UFC Fight Night 21 on March 31st.  So, you know, mystery solved.

In any event, here’s a fight worth getting pumped about.  Florian is coming off his crushing loss to B.J. Penn, (edit: and the ensuing Clay Guida win, duh) but as he told us last month, he’s been working with Firas Zahabi, trying some new things, and itching for a fight.  Matching him up with Gomi right off the bat tells us that the UFC isn’t interested in letting "The Fireball Kid" start slow against some former TUFers and work his way up to the top of the division.  Instead it’s sink or swim, and right away. 

It’s been a couple years since Gomi has looked really impressive, but will his move to the UFC and a little training time at AKA be enough to spark a career renaissance?  Or is Florian too well-rounded for Gomi to overcome in his first Octagon appearance? 

(Takanori Gomi wins the PRIDE lightweight title by knocking out Hayato Sakurai at Shockwave 2005.)

This would have been incredible if it happened three or four years ago, but hey, better late than never, right? According to MMA Fighting, lightweight legend Takanori Gomi has signed a multi-fight contract with the UFC; no word yet on the date of his debut or who his first opponent will be. Gomi visited the States last month to meet with the UFC and Strikeforce, and take in a training session at American Kickboxing Academy.

Holding a record of 31-5, Gomi is best known for his dominant run in PRIDE from 2004-2006, where he won the organization’s lightweight belt and took out such notable fighters as Jens Pulver, Tatsuya Kawajiri, Hayato Sakurai, and Mitsuhiro Ishida. However, his last PRIDE appearance was a shock gogoplata loss to Nick Diaz in February ’07, and he then went 2-2 in Sengoku, dropping matches to Sergey Golyaev and Satoru Kitoka; after the Kitaoka loss, Gomi began to question his training and motivation. Though Gomi has won his last two bouts, he hasn’t been facing the kind of top-level competition that he regularly enjoyed at his peak. Will the UFC’s talent-rich lightweight class re-ignite the Fireball Kid, or will he join Mirko Cro Cop and Wanderlei Silva in the PRIDE Curse Club?

(Rumina Sato vs. Cory Grant, 10/30/09)

You may have been too busy putting the finishing touches on your half-assed pop culture-referencing costume to notice, but Takanori Gomi was one of several Japanese MMA fighters to get back into action at Vale Tudo Japan 2009 in Tokyo this past weekend.  The event also included Rumina Sato, who you see in the above video effectively using those pesky leg kicks to soften up Cory Grant before putting him away, and Takeshi Inoue, who dispatched former Shooto champ Alexandre Franca Nogueira with strikes in the fourth round.

Video of Gomi’s five-round battle with American Tony Hervey is after the jump.  It’s a pretty fun little scrap, and definitely worth watching.

(Rafaello "Tractor" Oliveira highlight reel. He’s handled Big Big and Fabio Fabio, but will he be able to handle the Fireball Kid?)

After a proposed catchweight bout between Takanori Gomi and Brett Cooper went up in smoke, Affliction has added a lightweight match between Gomi and Rafaello Oliveira to the Affliction: Trilogy fight card page of their official website. Gomi’s name has a suspicious-looking asterisk next to it, but the meaning of that asterisk isn’t defined, and the bout is being reported as official.

Gomi is coming off of a second-round KO victory over Takashi Nakakura at Shooto Tradition Final in May, which followed back-to-back losses in Sengoku. Oliveira has an 8-1 record, fighting mostly in regional leagues in Brazil and North America; he made one appearance in a ShoXC Challenger Series event last year, where he lost to Fancy Pants Beerbohm via doctor’s stoppage TKO. On paper, Oliveira should get crushed by Gomi. In reality…well, he’ll probably still get crushed. This matchup seems to have been made for the benefit of nostalgic PRIDE fans who want to see the Fireball Kid smoke somebody. The current Trilogy card — which is looking pretty damn entertaining from the main event to the prelims — is after the jump.

(Mizuto Hirota vs. Mitsuhiro Ishida; props to MMA Scraps)

Shooto’s "Final Tradition" event, held yesterday in Tokyo, produced an action-packed card that was highlighted by Takanori Gomi snapping his two-fight losing streak. The Fireball Kid looked fit and focused in his non-title-fight against Shooto welterweight champ Takashi Nakakura, getting the better of Nakakura in striking exchanges en route to a knockout victory at the end of the second round. In the night’s main event, Rumina Sato pushed the pace against Shooto lightweight champ Takeshi Inoue with a creative arsenal of striking, rocking Inoue with punches near the end of the first round, but Inoue hung on and managed to stop Sato in a shocking turnaround.

Elsewhere on the card, Mitsuhiro Ishida suffered a surprising loss against Mizuto Hirota, who flattened Ishida with a left hook just 90 seconds into their bout and threw down more punches until he scored the victory; it was arguably an early stoppage, as Ishida was trying to tie up Hirota’s legs and get to his feet when the ref stopped the fight. In the night’s sole women’s feature, undefeated submission buzzsaw Megumi Fujii tore through kickboxer Won Bu Chu in less than a minute.

Full results and videos of the Gomi, Inoue, and Fujii fights (courtesy of NelsaoCB) after the jump…

(Megumi Fujii: 52 kilos of walking death.)

Yeah, we pretty much slept on this card since mentioning it once like two months ago — that’s our bad, and we’re just going to have to live with it — but Shooto Tradition is having its star-studded "Road to 20th Anniversary Final" show this Sunday in Tokyo, featuring lightweight PRIDE legend Takanori Gomi, unstoppable female fighter Megumi Fujii, and more big names. Unfortunately it won’t televised in the U.S., but we promise to get all the best fight vids up by Monday. Nightmare of Battle passes along the compete lineup, which is after the jump, and quite sick-looking…

#4: Takanori Gomi vs. Ralph Gracie @ PRIDE Bushido 3 (5/23/04), 6 seconds

Known for his very un-Gracie-like hard-charging style, Ralph Gracie racked up five-straight first-round stoppages in vale tudo matches during the ‘90s before re-entering competition in 2003 to test himself against modern mixed martial artists. But his PRIDE debut against Dokonjonosuke Mishima at Bushido 1 didn’t go so well — he only won by decision — and he returned to the ring seven months later ready to murder somebody. And that babyfaced little Japanese dude in the red corner, who Ralph’s student BJ Penn had choked out the year before? Yeah, he’d do. But Gracie was a little too anxious to get out there and kick ass (as evidenced by his refusal to touch gloves), and when he shot in right after the bell, his jaw ricocheted off Gomi’s knee; the Fireball Kid took over from there. This was the fight that officially put Gomi on the map — and served as the final six seconds in Ralph Gracie’s MMA career.

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO…

(Satoru Kitaoka finishes Takanori Gomi at "Sengoku no Ran 2009" in January. I’m not sure feet are supposed to bend that way.)

Before he rose to international fame as PRIDE’s most dominant lightweight, Takanori Gomi was a local hero in Japan’s Shooto league, where he reigned as the 154-pound champ from December 2001 to August 2003. Now, after two upset losses to Sergey Golyaev and Satoru Kitaoka in Sengoku, the Fireball Kid is heading back to his roots. Writes Japan MMA:

As we learned recently, Gomi’s head hasn’t been in the game for a while, so maybe a stint on a smaller, familiar stage will help him find his confidence  and regain his competitive spark. Of course, the fight with Nakakura is a must-win for Gomi’s career, and the current Shooto champ is no pushover. Can Gomi get his balls back, or will he join the ever-growing club of former PRIDE legends whose skills have mysteriously evaporated? (President: Wanderlei Silva / Treasurer: Mirko Cro Cop) Nakakura’s last fight, a rear-naked choke victory over Bendy Casimir, is after the jump.

(Sometimes you have only one friend, and he’s somewhere at the bottom of that next mug of beer.)

In a recent interview with Sportsnavi (via Suki) Takanori Gomi talks about his fall from the top of the lightweight division and his loss to Satoru Kitaoka (video here, and it doesn’t take long) in the Sengoku lightweight Grand Prix.  Give him credit for owning up to his poor performance, as Gomi more or less says that he has sucked lately and doesn’t seem entirely hopeful that things will get better.

As you saw, I couldn’t do anything. I suppose fans who knew me since PRIDE considered that I looked like a totally different person. I don’t even know why. I didn’t feel any energy in the ring. After the fight, I felt like I was free. I thought I fulfilled my duty.
- Do you mean that you resigned from a representer of the top lightweight fighter?
I suppose so. I hadn’t proven myself in the last few fights. I was training, yet everything was fall in apart. I couldn’t put together because my training wasn’t enough. My skills went down in the last 2 years. I experienced a lot in the last 2 years. I quit Kiguchi dojo without thinking well, and started my gym. I felt responsibility to take care of my students, and I was passive about my fight. I was just waiting and see who I fought with.
- The title of the tournament was “road to Gomi”
I have no excuse about my performance and my loss. Kitaoka was entirely better than me. I I hope he becomes a great champion and defends his title.

(Kitaoka vs. Gomi)

Not that Sengoku lightweight grand prix winner Satoru Kitaoka was some scrub that Takanori Gomi was going to run over, but few people expected Kitaoka to give the Fireball Kid the quickest loss of his career. Yet that’s what happened today at Sengoku’s "Rebellion 2009" card in Saitama, Japan, as Gomi found himself on the painful end of a heel-hook before the two-minute mark. That makes it five impressive wins in a row for rising star Kitaoka — who is now Sengoku’s lightweight champion — and the third loss in five fights for Gomi, whose legendary reputation takes another tough hit.

In the event’s middleweight championship bout, Jorge Santiago put Kazuo Misaki to sleep with a rear-naked choke at the 3:26 mark of the fifth round; if Misaki made it to the bell, he would have likely won the decision after a grueling war that saw the "Grabaka Hitman" dominate Santiago with his striking.

In heavyweight action, Antonio Silva’s suspension-defying matchup with Yoshihiro "Kiss" Nakao ended in disappointing fashion, as Nakao’s knee gave out early in the first round after a couple of brief exchanges. Also, heralded up-and-comer Dave Herman took his first loss after being overwhelmed by punches in the second round of his match against Korean PRIDE vet Mu Bae Choi. Full results and more videos are after the jump…

(Let’s hurry this up. Gomi has to get back to slinging dope in the park. Photo courtesy of Sengoku.)

Everyone made weight for this weekend’s World Victory Road Sengoku event in Japan, which means it’s all systems go for Antonio Silva to officially give the finger to the California State Athletic Commission by fighting overseas while under suspension back in the states.  Silva will have a good thirty-five pounds on Yoshihiro “Kiss” Nakao when they step in the ring, though most of that weight is located in his chin.

Also of note, Takanori Gomi attempts to put his recent decision loss behind him (see video) as he takes on Satoru Kitaoka for the Sengoku lightweight title.  Meanwhile, the guy who beat Gomi, Sergey Golyaev, gets stuck on the undercard.  Real nice. 

In what might be the best fight of the night, Jorge Santiago squares off with Kazuo Misaki for the middleweight strap.  Dave “Pee Wee” Herman and Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal are also both on the card, and don’t worry, King Mo is prepared for inclement weather.

Full weigh-in results after the jump.

(Eiji Mitsuoka vs. Rodrigo Damm)

(Satoru Kitaoka vs. Clay French)

(In Trigg’s defense, he had just gotten out of the pool.)

Sengoku’s “Fourth Battle” went down today in Saitama, Japan, featuring the long-awaited returns of Takanori Gomi and Frank Trigg, and the first round of their lightweight grand prix. In a non-tourney main event bout, Gomi faced 5-1 Korean DEEP vet Seung Hwan Bang — who should have been steamrolled by the legendary “Fireball Kid” — but Bang hung in for all three rounds. Eventually, Gomi’s accurate striking and control of the fight’s pace convinced the judges to unanimously give him the win. Trigg’s opponent was Makoto Takimoto, a judoka and PRIDE vet who came into the fight with a 4-4 MMA record, and as with Gomi, the fight was a little more difficult than it should have been. Trigg dominated the standup and inflicted major damage from top positions on the ground, but Takimoto nearly caught Twinkle Toes in a kimura in the second round, and spent a lot of the third on top; still, it wasn’t enough to prevent the judges from giving Trigg the decision after the fight went the distance.

The first round of Sengoku’s lightweight tournament held some surprises as three big names were unceremoniously bounced out of the competition. The HIT Squad’s Clay French was tapped in 31 seconds via achilles lock by former Pancrase mainstay Satoru Kitaoka, and jiu-jitsu ace Rodrigo Damm also suffered a first-round submission at the hands of Eiji Mitsuoka. Former IFL lightweight champ Ryan Schultz, who was the biggest favorite to win his first GP match, got his lights put out by a superman-punch from Cage Force champ Mizuto Hirota in the second round of their fight. Full results after the jump; videos to come.

- Bet you didn’t know that “the majority of fights/attacks last less than three seconds.” That’s a fact if we ever heard one. (Google)

- Takanori Gomi will fight at Sengoku 4, but not in the lightweight Grand Prix. (Nightmare of Battle)

- A Dana White announcement that suspiciously coincides with a competitor’s event? Get outta town. (Pro MMA)

- Rory Singer says MMA ain’t for everyone. And he should know. (Times Herold-Record)

- Fighters you love to hate. (411mania)

- Mark Coleman and “Shogun” Rua to have injury-riddled rematch? (Fightlinker)

- Bob Arum taking cheap shots at Dana White over Affliction card. (Steve Cofield)

- Jay Hieron patiently waiting for a fight. Some time this year would be just great. (MMA Junkie)

- Local TV reporter, please stop saying ‘glory hole’. (Holy Taco)

- Mark Cuban wants them Cubs, and Cuban gets what Cuban wants. (Wall Street Fighter)

(“Conviction” returns in October.)

— Thales Leites and Dean Lister will reportedly meet in a middleweight bout at UFC Fight Night 15 (September 17th; Omaha, NE), while lightweights Thiago Tavares and Kurt Pellegrino are slated to fight at UFC 88 (September 6th, Atlanta); both Tavares and Pellegrino are coming off losses in their last fights, to Matt Wiman and Nate Diaz, respectively. The UFC has also confirmed widely rumored UFC 88 matches between Rich Franklin and Matt Hamill, Dan Henderson and Rousimar Palhares, and Karo Parisyan vs. Yoshiyuki Yoshida.

— Gina Carano will fight next at an EliteXC event on October 4th. According to Sherdog, the event is likely to be televised on CBS, and her opponent may be Kelly Kobald, a Minnesota Martial Arts Academy product who started her career on a 16-0-1 tear before dropping her last two fights to Tara LaRosa and Julie Kedzie.

— This may help explain why Affliction’s attendance was so good: All tickets in all sections were discounted to $39.95 on the day of the show.

— Sengoku’s lightweight grand prix — which will go down August 24th in Saitama, Japan — will include IFL lightweight champion Ryan Schultz, King of the Cage lightweight champion Clay French, Cage Force lightweight champion Mizuto Hirota, and former DEEP lightweight champion Kazunori Yokota. Takanori Gomi and Frank Trigg will also be fighting, in separate non-GP bouts.

Earlier today lightweight prospect Chris Horodecki shot down the rumor that he will soon be fighting Takanori Gomi in Sengoku, though he remarked that he would certainly accept the bout if offered to him.

The internet has been abuzz with the news since MMA Weekly listed the Gomi-Horodecki bout in their rumors section regarding the August 24 Sengoku offering, though it still seems a long way from official at this point.

When reached for comment earlier today, Horodecki told Cage Potato that there have been no real discussions regarding a fight with Gomi. Horodecki said he’s still waiting for a fight, and would welcome the chance to take on a top ten lightweight like Gomi.

“Of course I’d fight him,” said Horodecki. “Why wouldn’t I?”

If the bout is eventually signed, the timing would likely work out well since Horodecki was previously preparing to fight on the IFL’s August event prior to its cancellation.

(Kazuo Misaki cracks Logan Clark a good one. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Far less publicized or attended than their first two cards, Sengoku held its third event yesterday at a half-full Saitama Super Arena, marked by former PRIDE star Kazuyuki Fujita’s upset by YAMMA heavyweight champ Travis Wiuff (who is now riding a nine-fight win streak), as well as Kazuo Misaki and Nick “The Goat” Thompson coming away with victories, and MMA elder statesman Maurice Smith’s comeback bid hitting a painful speed bump at the hands of Hidehiko Yoshida. Full recap is at Japan MMA; quick results are below.

Hidehiko Yoshida def. Maurice Smith via submission (neck crank), 2:23 of round 1
Travis Wiuff def. Kazuyuki Fujita via KO, 1:24 of round 1
Kazuo Misaki def. Logan Clark via unanimous decision
Nick Thompson def. Michael Costa via submission (kimura), 4:13 of round 2
Sanae Kikuta def. Chris Rice via submission (armbar), 3:54 of round 1
Marcio Cruz def. Choi Mu Bae via submission (triangle choke), 4:37 of round 1
Rodrigo Damm def. Jorge Masvidal via TKO, 4:38 of round 2
Fabio Silva def. Kazuo Takahashi via KO, 0:24 of round 2

At the event, it was announced that Sengoku IV (August 24th) will mark the beginning of a lightweight GP, with the winner to face Takanori Gomi. Satoru Kitaoka, Eiji Mitsuoka, Kazunori Yokota, Duane Ludwig, and Rodrigo Damm have already been booked for the tourney.

In other MMA news from the Far East…

Sure, it’s a hacky concept that you’ve probably seen before on an MMA forum, but we haven’t weighed in on it yet. Plus, Fighthype recently put together a list on the same theme that really sent us over the edge. (Lyoto Machida and Evan Tanner made their list, among other jacked and crazy-looking sonsabitches.) So without further ado, here are the fighters we wouldn’t mind coming across in a dark alley. Keep in mind that placement on this list is no judgment on their abilities as fighters, just on the fact that they look better suited to customer service or fast food restaurant management than cage fighting. Happy Friday.

***

9. Luke Cummo

8. Emmanuel Yarborough

7. Fedor Emelianenko and Wanderlei Silva (only when in drag)

(Evan Tanner, eating what appear to be testicles.)

While you were watching Cro Cop beat up a helpless Japanese boy…

— Evan Tanner announced that he’ll be returning to the Octagon this summer, but hasn’t revealed the date or his opponent yet. Tanner was most recently knocked out by Yushin Okami at UFC 82, but then defeated the urge to drink that came immediately afterward.

— Pancrase/PRIDE vet Kazuo “Grabaka Hitman” Misaki signed a two-fight deal with the San Jose-based Strikeforce organization; his first fight is expected to happen this summer. Since he’ll be fighting as a middleweight, Misaki could potentially face Frank Shamrock, Cung Le, or Joe Riggs. Misaki’s last two fights ended in a guillotine choke victory over Shooto champ Siyar Bahadurzada at Sengoku 1 (3/5/08), and a soccer-kick KO victory over Yoshihiro Akiyama at Yarennoka! (12/31/07) that was later ruled a no contest.

— Tito Ortiz sent Takanori Gomi a bunch of garbage in honor of his victory at Sengoku 1. Also, Rumina Sato just became a father.

— Dan Severn won his 106th match on March 9th, against Colin Robinson. JarryPark has an audio interview with the living legend about his “Kiss My Ass” retirement tour, YAMMA Pit Fighting, and his MMA legacy.

— Seven participating fighters in DREAM’s upcoming middleweight grand prix were announced on Saturday, including Kazushi Sakuraba, Yoshihiro Akiyama, and Ikuhisa “The Manboob Hunter” Minowa. Kiyoshi Tamura and Denis Kang are on the event poster, so they’ll likely be fighting as well. The first round of the DREAM middleweight tourney goes down April 29th at the Saitama Super Arena.

(Mach Sakurai works over Mac Danzig at PRIDE 33.)

A lot of news coming from Japan in the wake of Sengoku’s first show and the run-up to next week’s DREAM debut…

— Nokaut.com reports that Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic has finally gotten an opponent for the first DREAM show, with only nine days to spare. As Mirko wrote on his official blog: “A little over an hour ago I was contacted by DREAM officials. They informed me that my opponent on March 15 will be Yoshihiro Nakao from Japan. It was very important for me to fight as soon as possible and I’m happy that DREAM was able to find the opponent for me.” You may remember Nakao as the dude Heath Herring knocked out after a tender expression of affection was misinterpreted as an insult; hopefully Nakao won’t make that mistake again. DREAM1 goes down next Saturday at the Saitama Super Arena in Japan.

— Hayato “Mach” Sakurai has also locked down an opponent for the DREAM show. As SukiMMA translates from his blog: “I fight Hidetaka Monma from Keisyukai. One foreign fighter and one Japanese fighter canceled and finally I got an opponent!” Monma has a 14-7-3 record, with notable wins over…well, basically nobody. The Sakurai/Monma fight doesn’t seem to be a part of the lightweight Grand Prix that’s also going down at DREAM1, but it should be an ugly rout just like the Cro Cop/Nakao feature.

From Sengoku. Props to BloodyElbow. More photos here.

(Takanori Gomi poses with one of the characters from Cabin Fever.)

(This wouldn’t turn out very well for Hidehiko Yoshida.)

(Told you.)

Here’s some footage of Gomi turning Bang Ludwig’s face into pasta sauce, and Barnett working over Yoshida en route to a heel-hook tapout. Gomi and Barnett’s fights at Sengoku were their first MMA matches in over a year, but both looked like they’d never left the ring. 100% dominance…

Has anybody come across videos from Sengoku yet? I’ve been checking throughout the day and have so far come up with bupkus. But while looking for the Gomi/Ludwig fight, I did come across this match between Gomi and Jens Pulver from PRIDE Shockwave 2004 (12/31/04) that I’d never seen before. It’s a straight-up boxing match that stays standing until Gomi finds his distance and knocks Pulver out, collecting his fifth win in a ten-fight PRIDE win-streak.

— Josh Barnett def. Hidehiko Yoshida via submission (heel hook), 3:23 of round 3
— Takanori Gomi def. Duane Ludwig via doctor’s stoppage TKO (cut), 2:28 of round 1
— Kazuo Misaki def. Siyar Bahadurzada via submission (guillotine choke), 2:02 of round 2
— Kazuyuki Fujita def. Peter Graham via submission (north-south choke), 1:23 of round 1
— Evangelista Santos def. Makoto Takimoto via submission (heel hook), 4:51 of round 1
— Ryo Kawamura def. Antonio Braga Neto via unanimous decision
— Nick Thompson def. Fabricio Monteiro via unanimous decision

We’ll get up some photos and videos when they become available…

(Props: Sherdog)