1 Aug 2013 11:00:32 AM
It’s been awhile since we’ve familiarized you guys (and ourselves) with the hard-working underlings of an upcoming UFC card, but with so many foreign faces throwing down at UFC 163 this weekend, we decided to dust off an old feature for the sake of education. Don’t worry, this article will contain more knockout videos and fart jokes than it will actual information, as per the CagePotato decree.
Amanda “Lioness” Nunes
Experience: 7-3, with notable victories over Julia Budd (see above), Vanessa Porto, and Ediane Gomes. Despite her somewhat modest record, Nunes carries a wealth of experience fighting in top-level promotions such as Strikeforce and Invicta, where she went 2-2. We also hear that her farts smell like Febreeze. Specifically Mediterranean Lavender, which is odd considering she’s Brazilian and all.
Will be facing: Sheila “The German Tank” Gaff (10-5, 0-1 UFC)
Lowdown: Even having dropped two of her last three, the hard-hitting Nunes is arguably in a better position than her opponent, who is facing a quick turnaround after being dominated by Sara McMann in her own UFC debut at UFC 159. In a perfect world, we will see these two strikers throw caution to the wind and go all Merrill Hess on each another until one of them falls down. Actually, that’s the most likely scenario — three cheers for insanely high expectations based on preconceived notions of inequality!