(Holy shit! That dude looks tough!) 

If the abysmal ratings of The Ultimate Fighter 15 are any indication (hint: they are), then most of you are likely not up to speed on the happenings of this season, and I’m no exception. For instance, I couldn’t even name one of the participants still competing (Steve Sicilia?), nor could I tell you which phase of the tournament we are currently in. I chalk up my lack of enthusiasm over TUF 15 to the show’s shift to Friday nights, because personally, I’d rather get bombed on a mixture of hand grenades and PBR and hit on a mid-30′s divorcee with lowered self-esteem then watch Team Faber strip down and get a good sweat on in Team Cruz’s locker room, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But this Friday’s episode may mark the first time in the season that you and I might actually want to hold off on the brain damage and sexual harassment lawsuits for the time being.

After it was revealed that Dominick Cruz had suffered an ACL injury and would be forced out of his trilogy fight with Urijah Faber in last week’s episode, Dana White announced that during this week’s episode, he would reveal Cruz’s replacement. The mystery opponent will square off against Faber at UFC 148 for the interim bantamweight title, because the UFC simply can’t have enough interim champs at one time.

Join us after the jump for more on this story. 

(Best frenemies forever.)

Through the majority of their parallel UFC careers, Stephan Bonnar has played second-banana to Forrest Griffin. The relationship started with Griffin’s career-launching win over Bonnar in their classic brawl at the first Ultimate Fighter finale in 2005; a rematch the following year resulted in the American Psycho going home with another decision loss and a steroid suspension. While Griffin was winning the UFC light-heavyweight title in 2008, Bonnar was on the sidelines due to injuries, and though Griffin occasionally ate a humiliating loss, Bonnar’s losses were even more embarrassing.

But lately, the two men have begun to shift trajectories. A not-quite-motivated Griffin suffered an ugly knockout against Mauricio Rua in Brazil last year, and is now booked in a relatively needless trilogy fight against Tito Ortiz in July. With Forrest in a holding pattern, Bonnar is now riding a three-fight win streak, with W’s over Krzysztof Soszynski, Igor Pokrajac, and Kyle Kingsbury. In other words, Griffin might be heading down the mountain, while Bonnar is somehow reaching another peak in his career — which makes it an ideal time for the two rivals to meet one last time, perhaps at the end of an Ultimate Fighter gig that would bring their lives full circle. At least, that’s how Bonnar sees it. Here’s what he told MMAJunkie Radio:

(“Trust me, this is gonna be the craziest elimination round in the history of the show.”)

The UFC announced yesterday that they will soon begin production of a new season of The Ultimate Fighter that will be shot and aired in Australia, and will pit an Aussie team against a team from the United Kingdom. According to the press release:

The Australian series, dubbed The Smashes™ — a play on the 130 year-old cricket rivalry — will see undiscovered professional MMA fighters from Australia and the United Kingdom live together in The Ultimate Fighter House in Australia and compete against each other for a prized UFC contract. This is only the second time in TUF’s seven-year history that teams will represent their country of origin, the first taking place in 2009, during the ninth series, as Team USA took on Team UK.

‘Australia and the UK have a fierce, long-standing rivalry, and where better to settle the score than in the UFC’s Octagon,’ said Marshall Zelaznik, UFC’s Managing Director of International Development.

(The ouchie comes at the 1:56 mark.)

In case you haven’t been keeping up with The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil — and sure, I’m one of those people — Team Wanderlei finally got its first victory on Sunday’s episode, after losing the first five quarterfinal matches to Team Vitor. Featherweight Rony “Jason” Mariano Bezerra put the Axe-Murderers on the board with a first-round submission win over Anistavio “Gasparzinho” Medeiros de Figueiredo, who proved why it’s rarely a good idea to slam your way out of an armbar. Jason will now meet Hugo “Wolverine” Viana in the featherweight semis.

The arm-snappage led to a shouting match between the coaches, which you can check out after the jump. If you understand Portuguese, please enlighten us with a summary…

(Think cell phones are hard to operate now, Dana? Just wait until you try to use ones with Hindi and Mandarin keypads.)

On the heels of breaking into another new country and the ratings success of The Ultimate Fighter‘s first international version, UFC President Dana White is open to launching regional titles for the promotion. “The bottom line is as we start kicking off all these ‘Ultimate Fighters’ in other countries, it’s going to open up the floodgates for a lot more fighters, and guys are going to need a lot more experience,” MMA Junkie reports White as saying after Saturday’s event in Sweden.

“We talked about [regional champions],” he continued. “We talked about rankings — just like boxing, guys ranked in other countries. So you end up being ranked. I don’t know. You have UFC champions, and then you have guys that are ranked in different countries. It absolutely makes sense. In the big picture, long-term, it absolutely makes perfect sense.”

(If Kimbo couldn’t convince you to watch the show, there’s really no hope for any of us.)

According to a new report on MMAJunkie, the ratings for Friday’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter on FX were low enough to make it the lowest-rated episode in the entire 15-season run of the series, and represented a 27% drop from the season premiere last month. (Damn, and we were sure that the Chris Tickle gout-subplot would be a ratings juggernaut.) Here’s how the ratings have shaken out so far this season:

The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 1: 1.3 million viewers
The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 2: 1.1 million viewers
The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 3: 1.2 million viewers
The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 4: 1.1 million viewers
The Ultimate Fighter: Live episode 5: 947,000 viewers

Grain of salt time…

By Elias Cepeda

Episode four opens with Team Cruz’ Myles Jury and Team Faber’s Al Iaqunita walking into the training center for their fight, set to take place in 42. Cruz chose this matchup, putting Jury, who he had trained with in San Diego, against Faber’s first pick, Al Iaqunita.

Cruz looks to be using a strategy of trying to take out some of Faber’s toughest guys early in the competition.

“There’s a strategy to everything that I’m doing,” he says. “I want to go straight for the jugular on these guys, take out every guy that could give them hope.”

That he says it in his typical little boy voice makes Cruz’ ruthlessness even more eerie.

Faber , for his part, seems to like the match up as well. “Thank you! Yes,” he says of Cruz’ matchup.

We’ve discussed this season’s new format of live fights and related changes, but the season’s new theme music might be the best change of all. Invoking a lil Stevie Wonder and Red Hot Chili Peppers with their rendition of “Higher Ground,” is a step up from typical MMA-related music and also hits the right thematic note for a bunch of fighters trying to reach the next level.

(No, no, not THAT kind of ultimate fighter.) 

Seven years. Fifteen seasons. The Ultimate Fighter has been a part of our lives for nearly a decade, ladies and gentlemen, and not only is it still going strong, but it has spread at the rate of your average zombie apocalypse. With the first international installment of the hit reality show already under way, TUF has seemingly evolved beyond its counterparts, transcending even that of the sport in it’s ability to excite, and often inspire its audience. Sure, the next season of Jersey Shore will feature a piss drunk pregnant woman and a possible probable cokehead and will therefore rule the ratings from here to eternity, but The Ultimate Fighter has something better to bring to the table than fabricated drama. Mainly, sweet ass knockouts.

Seven years of sweet ass knockouts, to be precise. That’s the entire length of Tommy Callahan’s college career.

With these knockouts, we’ve seen underdogs pull off upsets, loudmouths get their comeuppance, and the emergence of future superstars. So in honor of what has already been a KO-ridden season of TUF, we decided to watch every season back to back, and determine the BEST knockout from its respective season. Enjoy.

(It was like this, but even more terrifying.) 

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from former Strikeforce Women’s featherweight champion Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos. In the fallout of her sixteen second destruction of Hiroko Yamanaka and subsequent positive steroid test that saw her stripped of her title, “Cyborg” has been laying low, quietly awaiting her April 9th appeal and the chance to smash Ronda Rousey for her insolence.

In the meantime, it looks like the former champ has decided to broaden her training horizons, if you will, now incorporating a regular diet of Japanese game show hosts and comedians to satiate her overwhelming desire to kill. In fact, she recently appeared on the Japanese show Honoo no Taiikukai to demonstrate that she is just as strong without anabolic steroids coursing through her veins by taking on a…male Japanese comedian? Believe it or not, the match was surprisingly competitive for the most part, until Cyborg decided to go all Courtney Korpela on the poor bastard.

Join us after the jump for the full video, along with the Sergei Kharitonov/Mark Miller match from last weekend’s United Glory 15 card, and much more. 

(Wandy may not know English that well, but in his native tongue the guy is a regular George Carlin.) 

There probably weren’t many of us who managed to catch the 11:30 p.m. stream of The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil‘s premiere episode last night, but needless to say, it was chock-full of exciting finishes and memorable one-liners from coaches Wanderlei Silva and Vitor Belfort, the best of which we’ve managed to snag a screenshot of above. Featuring a mix of 32 middleweights and featherweights vying for a spot in the illustrious, adobe constructed house, TUF: Brazil is looking like it could possibly surpass TUF 15 in terms of pure excitement, even without the help of widow’s peak and butt chin jokes. Follow us after the jump for a GIF break down of all the finishes from last night, courtesy of IronForgesIron.

SPOILER ALERT

(Rony Mariano def. Dileno Lopez via TKO) 

By Elias Cepeda

This season’s TUF features live fights each week but everything before that are taped highlights of how the fighters and their teams and coaches have spent the past week. By the looks of what we saw on episode 3, a good amount of what Team Cruz did before getting ready for the next bout was making fun of how Dominick Cruz mind fucked the whole of Team Faber last week.

Cruz coach Lloyd Irvin gleefully recounted how, after choosing overall number one pick Justin Lawrence to fight this week, Dominick Cruz told Faber that he could choose who, from his team wanted to fight. Faber was shocked by Cruz giving up matchmaking power that he had earned after James Vick KO’s Daron Cruickshank and asked his team who wanted to fight.

No one raised their hands. And, as Irvin pointed out, many of them were all but looking up at the sky, whistling. A flustered Faber gave the pick back to Cruz, who chose the most accomplished fighter in the house, Cristian Marcello.

Faber lets us know, during an interview, that he really is trying to contain his rage at Cruz. “I’m doing my best to hold it together,” he says. “But, you know, I want to punch the guy right in the face,” bro. Ok, I added the “bro,” in. But no matter what Faber is saying, his surferspeak always makes it sound like he’s inviting you to go catch a few waves or telling you about the killer party he’s throwing next weekend, and could you please pitch in for the keg.

From the little we’d seen thus from Lawrence, the fact that he trains at Blackhouse, and Marcello’s pedigree and experience, this seemed more like a TUF Final than a first round bout.

But before we get to the fight itself – Chris Tickle’s annoying ass, ladies and gentlemen. Episode 3 featured the Team Cruz fighter, being a smart ass in teasing Team Faber members, acting all sensitive when teased him, trying to spar with ear rings in, destroying parking lot signs, using perhaps the most quickly passing case of diarrhea to avoid training and (yes, really) wearing a fucking gas mask during an interview.

Back in the house, Tickle worked hard to tell Team Faber members how stupid they looked in not raising their hands when their coach asked them who they wanted to fight. But Justin Lawrence made it clear that it wasn’t just Team Faber guys who were annoyed by Tickle.

As reels ran showing Tickle’s hilarious, totally disruptive and incredibly creative “prank” of pulling out Urijah Faber’s parking space sign out of the ground, Lawrence delivered the play by play with about as much excitement as one could imagine him having to describe clipping his own toe nails. Lawrence says Tickle is “obnoxious.”

(WTF???!!!) 

Great news for all you subtitle fanatics out there. It looks like this season’s second series of The Ultimate Fighter is going to be broadcast for free starting this Sunday, compliments of TUF.tv. Airing on Sunday nights on Brazilian network Globo TV, the show will be streamed on the website starting at 11:30 p.m. ET/8:30 p.m. PT. Featuring fellow Brazilian sluggers and long time rivals Wanderlei Silva and Vitor Belfort as its coaches, TUF: Brazil has, at the risk of sounding cliche, captured the hearts of the nation, uniting them on a level that a shared hatred of Chael Sonnen could never attain.

The first episode kicks off this Sunday, and will feature eight elimination matches to whittle the thirty-two current contestants down to the sixteen which will enter the house. Being that the season takes place entirely in Brazil, we can expect the ring girls to be incredibly voluptuousness and rocking nothing but body paint for the show’s entirety. Let’s hope Vitor Belfort’s wife takes over in Arianny’s absence. Then again, being that we are in Brazil, we will also likely be treated to more than one tale of childhood poverty and/or City of God-style gang violence. Yin and Yang.

Check out a video preview of TUF: Brazil after the jump. 

By Elias Cepeda

Jon Anik’s silky voice talks us in to episode two of The Ultimate Fighter 15, telling us we’re less than an hour away from tonight’s live fight. We’re about to see what happened this past week in TUFlandia but right now there are two hooded fighters warming up with their backs to the camera in their respective lock rooms.

Could it be? Yes…those two (at present) nameless and faceless fighters will fight each other tonight but we will have to wait and see who they are. Cheesy, but kinda cool. Another new element of this debuting hybrid taped/live TUF format. Also, there’s a fight clock on the bottom right hand of the screen, ticking down.

The 16 winning fighters from last week’s elimination round pull up to the TUF mansion and once again we see a new crop of young fighters enthusiastically explore their new digs with the type of giddiness that can only lead us to believe that they’ve never watched past seasons and thus don’t realize how completely miserable it can be to be locked in that house. Happens every season.

(But there *will* be subtitles at some point, right?)

The full cast of 16 featherweights and 16 middleweights for the first international edition of The Ultimate Fighter has just been released. I’m not as well-versed in the Brazilian prospect scene as I should be, but two names definitely jump out here: Rodrigo Damm, the Sengoku/Strikeforce veteran (and brother of Carina), and former IFL standout Delson Helano, who has won 10 of his last 11 fights.

You can check out the full cast list after the jump. TUF Brazil is set for a March 25th debut on the Globo channel in Brazil, and will also be streamed on UFC.com and broadcast on FUEL via tape-delay. Tune in, and find out which two fighters will be buying their mothers a house…

(When Stephan Bonnar says he will do anything to get his hands on some Mad Dog, he means ANYTHING.) 

Though Chael Sonnen claims to be “The Most Interesting Man in the World,” the title could very well go to long time UFC color commentator Joe Rogan. The man can turn an ice spill into comedy gold. He will put any referee with a last name sounding like Maserati on the spot without a seconds notice. And God forbid you try and diss him during one of his stand up routines. When he turns his hat backwards, it gives him a feeling of super strength that would make Lincoln Hawk piss his pants. Simply put, the man is a DMT tripping, BJJ grappling, spin kick throwing force that rarely fails to entertain when placed in front of a camera.

With the first ever live season of The Ultimate Fighter kicking off tonight, Rogan sat down and shared some of his favorite moments in the show’s history. Go figure, Forrest Griffin and Stephan Bonnar‘s war at the TUF 1 Finale was the first thing to be discussed. Here’s what he had to say:

The first season was the first time reality television was integrated with such an exciting and intense growing sport, and it came together in the most beautiful and poetic way possible with the finals … The estimations were that there were as many as eight million people watching this fight. That’s unfathomable! People are at home, and they were calling their friends up, and they’re like, ‘Dude! You’ve gotta watch this. There is a crazy fight going on and these two white guys are beating the fuck out of each other!’ And that was the birth of modern mixed martial arts. That was the fight that put it on the map.

Join us after the jump for the full video.

(If you’re controlling the Japanese fighter against Rampage, just hit down, down, up, X, down to poison his food.)

By Jason Moles

Two weeks ago, fans around the world were delighted to partake in the Ultimate Fighting Championship’s latest attempt to broaden its revenue streams with the release of UFC Undisputed 3. It didn’t take long before word began to spread about just how incredible the game is. But despite all of the improvements and advantages that Undisputed 3 has over the game’s first two installments — such as an improved submission system, a less cluttered career mode, and the inclusion of two additional weight classes and a PRIDE mode — the game just isn’t quite “as real as it gets.” At least not yet. Here are five things that UFC and THQ need to add the next go-’round if they want to put a little truth in their advertising and gain some more street cred among UFC die-hards.

Hat Thieves: If you’ve been watching the sport for any amount of time you will have noticed that fighters love to promote their sponsors with every opportunity they get, from donning their gear to slapping a sticker on everything they wear. Some even go as far tattooing a logo on their calf. One of the easiest ways to rep a company that gives you a paycheck for the exposure is to throw a ball cap on your head on the way to the Octagon…and hope that you still have it on when you hit the Harley Davidson prep point.

Hat snatchers are the lowest of the low, depending on whom you ask, and yet they add a comically endearing bit of chaos to the broadcast. C’mon, admit it. You chuckle every time a hat vanishes into the crowd. Therefore when my created fighter, The Bulldog, makes his way to the cage, I want to see someone snatch his hat. Then, and only then, will I know I’ve made it.

“This is a historic moment,” remarked Wanderlei Silva in broken English when attempting to describe the groundbreaking, upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter set to take place entirely in Brazil. And indeed, it is pretty amazing to see how far the reality show, and therefore the UFC, has come in the past few years; UFC 144 really sent this notion home. A sport once considered a passing trend by its critics has now grown to the point that it can simultaneously broadcast two different reality shows from two different countries, folks, so let’s join in on the celebration.

Set to air on March 25th, The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil has already made huge waves in the Mecca of mixed martial arts, receiving overwhelming support from the country as documented in the above video. Set to coach opposite Vitor Belfort, “The Axe Murderer” recently made one of several appearances to plug the upcoming show, and was greeted with open arms and cries of “When are you going to kill Chael Sonnen?” by the legions of fans lined up around the block. Man, those dudes carry a grudge. Never a man of many words, Silva could only reply, “SOON.”

As we know, TUF Brazil will feature featherweight and middleweight classes doing battle (unfortunately, not against one another) over the course of a twelve episode season, with the rematch between Silva and Belfort to transpire on a separate PPV card, likely in June. Being that this season will feature up and coming Brazilian talent, we would imagine MMA fans will be paying especially close attention, because we are likely looking at future champions in their respective divisions.

Join us after the jump for some more TUF video hype.

Sweet ‘stache flash at 0:08. (Video: Youtube/UFC)

The UFC may have dropped the ball by only airing a single fight during their one-hour debut on FOX, but it’s safe to say they’re taking things in the opposite direction for The Ultimate Fighter 15 premier on FX. The two-hour episode will feature a daunting 16 live elimination bouts, leaving scant time for ‘DYWBAFF’ speeches and fake team lists.

A field of 32 lightweights and middleweights will throw down in real time for their right to make chicken salad see some titties piss in fruit trays choke a nurse enter the TUF house. At the helm this season are Bantamweight Champion Dominick Cruz and perennial challenger Urijah Faber. Will the set’s notoriously flimsy doors break before their notoriously flimsy fists?

Don’t forget that you, fair viewer, will decide the match-ups each week by texting in your vote, so you’re practically guaranteed the matches you want to see. The party gets started at 9 p.m. ET/PT, March 9^th. You bring the snacks, we’ll bring the smug.

Now show us all how smart you are and name all of the up-and-comers you recognize in the video.

(“Fuck it, I’m calling in the air strike.”)

This week in “not honoring the spirit of the deal” news: Spike TV is upping the ante on their UFC counter-programming efforts, launching a new best-of-TUF series that would compete directly against season 15 of The Ultimate Fighter. “The Ultimate Fighter Fridays” will be a three-hour programming block debuting on Friday, March 2nd, at 9 p.m. ET/PT, featuring the best episodes from the first 14 seasons of the reality show. According to the press release, Spike will air special-themed editions of “The Ultimate Fighter Fridays” with input from fans via Facebook and Twitter.

Meanwhile on FX, The Ultimate Fighter LIVE is scheduled to kick off March 9th at 9 p.m. ET/PT, helmed by coaches Urijah Faber and Dominick Cruz. Moving the show to a different network on a different night of the week will surely leave some fans confused if they haven’t been paying attention, and Spike’s new programming block just throws a few more tacks on the road, so to speak. But wait, there’s more…

(Will MMA finally be able to overcome the mythical Friday Night Death Slot?)

By Jason Moles

Last week, it was announced that Bellator Fighting Championships would be changing the night they broadcast their weekly fights, beginning with their Season 6 tournaments in March 2012.

Instead of competing for an audience on Saturday nights, when most fans are preoccupied with UFC pay-per-views and college football, Bjorn Rebney in conjunction with Viacom, has determined the best night for the largest number of MMA fans to enjoy the show is Friday. Good choice? Perhaps.

Also airing on Friday nights starting in 2012 is the UFC’s flagship reality series, The Ultimate Fighter. In its fifteenth season, Zuffa decided to mix it up a bit in hopes of revitalizing fan interest and attracting new viewers by airing the fights live.

So will Bellator gain any ground if they’re still competing with the world’s largest MMA promotion? Will the in-house shenanigans, trash-talking coaches, and UFC brand be able to attract a larger audience than an entire night of live fights, some of which have been classified as ‘Super‘? Not only can we not be in two places at once, we can’t watch two television programs at the same time either. So, who wins the ratings war?

(Let’s hope the rematch lasts a little longer.)

During the UFC 142 press conference this morning, the UFC announced that long time rivals Wanderlei Silva and Vitor Belfort have been chosen as opposing coaches for the first international season of The Ultimate Fighter, which will be filmed on location in Brazil and entirely in Portugese, or in Mike Goldberg’s case, Japanese. The debut for TUF Brazil is set for March 25th as of this moment, with the finale being held sometime in June at a location TBD.

(“You maaaad, you maaaaad, you maaaaad!” Photo via MMAMania)

Tonight, TUF as we know it comes to an end. Before us lies a shadowy, uncertain world of live fights aired on F/X on Friday nights and international spin-offs. But no matter what comes next, you can feel secure in the fact that we’ll still be complaining about the show just as much as we always have, because we know no other way to live.

Welcome, friends, to our liveblog of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Bisping vs. Team Miller Finale. On the menu this evening — Diego Brandao and Dennis Bermudez battle to decide the first featherweight TUF winner in UFC history, while John Dodson and TJ Dillashaw do the same for the bantamweights. Plus, heavy-handed TUF 13 winner Tony Ferguson steps up against seasoned vet Yves Edwards, and in the main event, Michael Bisping looks to remove the smirk off the face of his latest rival, Jason “Mayhem” Miller, who will be making his first Octagon appearance in over six years.

Round-by-round results from the TUF 14 Finale main card on Spike TV will be piling up after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

(Gentlemen, please. You can *both* eat dicks. / GIF via IronForgesIron)

After a compact ten-episode run, Spike TV’s final season of The Ultimate Fighter ended last night. So what did we learn? Repeating short phrases over and over again gives them more rhetorical power. “Fufessional” is just another word for dumbass. Karma visits upon every asshole.

But before we put this sumbitch to bed, we have two more semi-final fights to get through. John “The Snitchin’ Magician” Dodson is training for his bantamweight face-off with teammate Johnny Bedford, while Bedford blatantly creeps on him the whole time. Coach Mayhem decides he won’t corner either man, leaving that responsibility up to the assistant coaches.

Says Dodson: “I only got taken down once, by Prince [John Albert], and I’m never going to get taken down again.” But taking Lil’ John down is, in fact, Bedford’s gameplan. And he doesn’t think Dodson has the power to hurt him. Dodson giggles and poses in the face-off after weigh-ins. Once again, we marvel at how small this man is, and how he should really be competing at 125, if such a division existed in the UFC. And once again, his size disadvantage probably won’t matter one damn bit.

(Sources say the new show will have 75% less bodily fluid ingestion in each season.)

A couple weeks back on The Bum Rush Radio Show we predicted that SPIKE TV would pick up the slack left by the exit of The Ultimate Fighter by putting together a different MMA-based reality show, likely with Bellator fighters. Considering they are all technically employees of the Viacom-owned channel since the media conglomerate purchased a majority stake in the promotion last month, it would make sense.

In our reality, they would put all of the upcoming opponents from a scheduled card in the same fighter house, which we know would never happen, but we can still dream, right?

Well, according to a report by SI’s Loretta Hunt we were half right.

(It’s funny until you realize that his little dog is in that backpack. And then it’s absolutely hilarious. GIF via IronForgesIron)

We’re heading into the home stretch of TUF 14: Team Asshole vs. Team Goofball, and the bloom is definitely off the rose. At this point, I just want to see the coaches settle their beef at the finale show next month. I’d also like to see Diego Brandao whip some more ass. Other than that, I’m only watching/writing this out of habit. How many dumb pranks can grown men can play on each other? Even when they involve Mariachi bands, it’s just…I don’t know. There are more important things happening in our country right now.

The TUF house has reached a Heathers-level of cliquey-ness. You got the Bible thumpers, the card players, and the dudes with anger issues/crazy hair/dark skin. And hey, you know who Akira Corassani doesn’t like? That bitch-ass Bryan Caraway. “He’s like a little girl,” Akira says. “He wakes up in the morning, he takes like 25 minutes to make his hair.”

So, Akira sneaks into Bryan’s bedroom in the middle of the night and shaves off a piece of his hair. Caraway chases him to an upstairs balcony, where Akira is giggling with his bros. Instead of brawling with the whole gang, Bryan threatens non-specific vengeance sometime in the future. “Y’know, what we do in life echoes in eternity, and this right here I’m going to laugh about my whole life,” Akira says, COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT OF GLADIATOR. Look, spoiler alert, Akira gets choked out at the end of this episode and it’s awesome. Sorry guys, I had to.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/MMAHEAT)

The UFC held a conference call today in which Dana White and both main event competitors for the promotion’s inaugural Fox broadcast, Cain Velasquez and Junior dos Santos, fielded questions from the MMA media.

Among other topics, White addressed the possible scenario that the Velasquez-JDS fight could be over faster then the planned pre-fight extravaganza and said that if it is, then there won’t be any other fights shown on Fox, period.

“There’s only gonna be one fight. The heavyweight championship is the only fight that’s gonna be on Fox, [even if] it goes 10 seconds.”

Check out the highlights of the call after the jump.

(Photo courtesy of Ed Mulholland/ESPN)

In an effort to take some of the growing workload off of the backs of color analyst Joe Rogan and play-by-play man Mike Goldberg, the UFC announced today that it has added veteran sportscaster Jon Anik to its broadcast team.

Anik, who has anchored MMA Live since 2008 and hosted several ESPN pre-UFC shows, will be involved with the November 12 Fox broadcast in some capacity and will likely take the reins of commentating duties for the next season’s weekly live broadcast of The Ultimate Fighter on FX among other events.

“We’re very happy to have Jon as part of the team,” UFC president Dana White said after making the announcement at today’s UFC 137 press conference.

“It’s a dream come true. I believe the UFC’s a strong a brand as there is in professional sports, but what really drew me to this organization was the people behind it. I think as strong as this organization is, it’s the people behind it,” the 33-year-old Boston native said Thursday. “It’s a well-oiled machine, I just hope I don’t get in the way. I’m very excited to get started.

(Brandao vs. Siler. Fight starts at the 1:09 mark. Props: IronForgesIron)

After the fiasco that followed the Akira/Neace fight last week, Team Mayhem coach Ryan Parsons wants to give Michael Bisping a piece of his mind. “You’re the kind of guy that can’t keep his motherfucking mouth shut,” Parsons tells him. “Which is why you’re the most hated fighter in the UFC. I get it now.”

“I earn a lot more money than you, motherfucker,” Bisping says, clearly a 1%’er.

“Go spit on somebody,” Parsons says. And so on. Bisping feels that Team Miller should take their loss like men, and that Parsons should fuck off.

The next fight has already been announced as Diego Brandao (Bisping’s #1 featherweight) vs. Steven Siler (Miller’s #4). Siler thinks that people don’t believe in his skills, but Team Bisping isn’t taking him lightly, especially because Brandao’s cardio is a little lacking during practice. Still, Bisping is excited to see what the half-crazy Brazilian can do.

And awww, Jason Miller’s dog is at the weigh-ins.

(The end of Dustin Neace vs. Akira Corassani…OR WAS IT?? Gif props: IronForgesIron)

After Dustin Pague’s victory last week — which brought Team Mayhem up 4-0 on the scorecard, FYI — Dustin asks his team if they could do a quick “Glory to God” cheer, which Jason Miller actually participates in, even though he’s a die-hard atheist who usually loves to mess with religious people. That just shows what kind of coach Miller is. He let his fighter have his moment, and he didn’t even make Pague participate in a “Glory to Science” cheer afterwards.

As the fighters return to their prep-rooms, Diego Brandao is in Murderous Brazilian Mode (what else is new), and starts to yell at Steve Siler for some reason. “I’m gonna take you head off, bidge!”, etc. Michael Bisping explains that he’s unstable and just wants to fight. Fortunately, he’s in a welcoming environment for that sort of thing.

Mayhem gives Dustin Neace a cowboy hat with a B on it, which stands for “Beast,” his nickname. Josh Ferguson — previously known as “the dude in the cowboy hat” — lays down accusations of swagger-jackin’. (“Come on man, I got one thing going for me here, and you gotta rip it off?”) Oddly enough, Ferguson’s hat also has a ‘B’ on it, even though his nickname doesn’t start with that letter. Unless one of you knows its actual significance, I’m just going to assume it stands for “bumpkin.”

(“I want people to look at me and say, ‘Wow, this is where he started and look where he ended up.’” Photo props: MMA Weekly)

By Ben Goldstein

Over the last six years, we’ve watched Chris Leben evolve from The Ultimate Fighter‘s original wild-ass brawler, to a multi-faceted contender who has the tools to defeat virtually any middleweight opponent on any given night. In fact, two of Leben’s last three fights have resulted in the greatest victories of his entire career — his epic UFC 116 Fight of the Night against Yoshihiro Akiyama, and his stunning 27-second knockout of Wanderlei Silva at UFC 132.

On November 5th, Leben will headline UFC 138 in Birmingham, England, against Mark Munoz, in a meeting that could put one of them on the short-list for a title shot. We spent some time on the phone with the Crippler last week and discussed all the notable battles in his life that have led him to where he is today, facing yet another massive opportunity. Enjoy, and check out our previous Retrospective Interviews right here.

THE ORIGIN STORY

(Matt Lindland, overdressed as usual.)

CHRIS LEBEN: “I think I was in the fourth grade when I got into my first fight. I can’t remember what it was over — something on the playground. But that was my first real, non-wrestling match, hitting-each-other-in-the-face kind of fight. And all the other kids just stood around and watched. I didn’t get into fights a lot, but I definitely had some good ones, like all kids that are a little more on the wild side.

I did a little wrestling in grade school, and something called Christian Karate that I did in like third grade. Then I started boxing in eighth grade and I actually took that really seriously.

Even when I was in junior high, my plan was always to fight in the UFC. I joined Team Quest right after I turned 21. You have to remember that at 185 pounds, I was training with Matt Lindland, Evan Tanner, Chael Sonnen, Ed Herman — we were all in the same room, every day. And every day I walked into the gym, my first coach Robert Follis would say, ‘Good morning Chris, how are you doing?’ And I’d say, ‘Did you get me a fight yet? Did you get me a fight yet?’ I’d never say, ‘Good morning, how are you,’ it was always ‘Did you get me a fight yet?’ I believe it was about six months until I had my first amateur fight.”