(The end of Schaub vs. Rogers.)

Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights opened with some analysis of the Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson fight, which was described rather generously as a "classic striker vs. wrestler/grappler matchup" by Scott Junk, who gives props to Slice for not gassing out. Titties Schoonover was also very impressed by Kimbo’s performance. Roy Nelson was impressed by Roy Nelson’s performance. After the fight, we see Big Country needling Rampage, thanking him for helping Roy count strikes to Kimbo’s dome. "I lost count after ten," Roy says, coming in for a bro-clinch. "Get the fuck off me," says Jackson. "I can’t stand that fat motherfucker," he tells Tiki.

Rampage and his assistants do their best to encourage Kimbo after the fight. Rampage vows to keep working with Slice and turn him into one of the best fighters out there. Kimbo doesn’t feel he’s out of the competition yet, and that with another two or three weeks of instruction, he’ll be untouchable. Abe Wagner tells him — to his face, amazingly — that he’s using denial as a coping mechanism. But for a moment, it does look like Kimbo might return. Marcus Jones has a "sweat attack," and has to sit down for a while after getting lightheaded back at the house. His teammates think he’s physically cracking under the demands of the show. Kimbo sees it as his opportunity to squeeze his way back in, but Marcus quickly recovers.

(Click the image to watch the video on Spike.com.)

Kimbo Slice must have had other plans that day, but luckily Roy Nelson and Dana White were free to hang with Amir Sadollah for the latest edition of Spike.com‘s TUF 10 wrap-up show, The Aftermath. Dana does his best to debunk some rumors: No, he doesn’t have influence on when fights are stopped on the show — and how dare you suggest otherwise, Roy — and no, the alcohol isn’t provided for dramatic purposes. All booze is requested by the fighters themselves, not that drunken jackassery has been a problem on this season so far. (Still, Wes Sims can’t stay dry forever.) There’s also an interesting moment where Dana gets on Roy’s case for not joining a major camp. ("I think that it hurts you as a fighter…to not be sparring and training with guys that are going to push you every day.") And he’s still a little irritated about Roy’s post-fight Whopper order.

Later, the panel analyzes what Kimbo needs to do to be competitive in MMA, and Dana addresses the status of Quinton "Rampage," "B.A. Baracus" Jackson: "Rampage [announced] he’s retired because he’s mad at me. And I’m mad at him. It happens sometimes. I’m sure we’ll get this thing figured out, and I’m sure we’ll see him and Rashad fight. I highly doubt that Rampage is really retired."

(Click the image to watch the clip on Spike.com.)

By this point in the tenth season of The Ultimate Fighter, you already know that James McSweeney is an unrepentant asshole who dislikes Quinton Jackson, and Marcus Jones is just too gentle for this world. But if you needed any extra proof, here’s a deleted scene in which the bristly Brit tells Jones what a terrible head coach Rampage is. For a second, it looks like Jones will stand up to McSweeney, Titties-style, but Jones instead runs off to "brush his teeth" (i.e., cry into his Dungeons & Dragons pillow). James sort of apologizes without apologizing, and Marcus is left to stew by himself at the pool. In episode four, Marcus gets a blanket party; in episode five, this happens.

And still no sign of Wes Sims…

(Look, we’re just as upset as you are. Photo courtesy of URDirt.)

It wasn’t long ago that Dana White was telling us that The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights was "some of the best television ever." (Ever! Right up there with the Newhart finale!) But after three weeks, reality is beginning to set in. What we’ve gotten, above everything else, is three embarassingly bad fights: Jon Madsen‘s one-sided takedown clinic against the hapless Abe Wagner, James McSweeney‘s sloppy and questionably deserved decision win over Wes "Wheezy" Shivers, and Roy Nelson‘s methodical, anti-climactic TKO of Kimbo Slice. It’s a shame that all those new viewers haven’t seen any quality MMA matches so far. Well, Dana feels your pain, and recently jumped on the Real Talk Express with Yahoo!’s Kevin Iole:

Wait a minute, so the next four episodes suck too? Does this mean that when <SPOILERS>Kimbo replaces a feverish Marcus Jones in the next episode to take on Brendan Schaub</SPOILERS>, that fight’s no good either? Cripes. It doesn’t help that this season — like last season — isn’t offering much in the way of entertaining personalities or house drama. (Why The A-Hole Show hasn’t gotten any screen time yet is anybody’s guess.) Marcus is a black dude who loves flowers and 20-sided-dice? Oooooooh! Piss in a fucking fruit tray or stop wasting my time, okay?

Okay, so maybe our close reading of Roy Nelson’s cryptic Twitter update got a little carried away and missed the more obvious implication of “Big Country’s” Babe Ruth reference before last night’s fight with Kimbo Slice on “The Ultimate Fighter.”  While our interpretation is still more fun, Nelson’s makes more sense, especially when he explains it thusly:

My plan was, I was going to stand with him as long as I could. Because I wasn’t really going to shoot on him, just because that’s what he was expecting. And then if he came in flurrying, I was just going to bodylock him, take him down and crucifix him.  You know how Babe Ruth used to point to the fence and say, "I’m going to hit this home run"? I did exactly what I wanted: take no hits, get it to the ground and just win.

Whether the Bambino ever actually did that is still unclear, but no one can say Nelson didn’t do exactly what he set out to.  He also says that while Dana White may have felt the pummeling wasn’t too severe, Kimbo Slice looked “like the Elephant Man” afterwards, due to all the knots on his head. 

(Kimbo vs. Roy, round 1+2.)

After all the hype, after all the brilliant video analysis, it finally happened: A fight that could have potentially headlined an EliteXC card, going down in front of about 30 people on a reality TV show set. Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson. The Irresistable Force vs. The Immovable Fat Dude. No, you won’t see it on any Fight of the Year lists, but it happened. You can’t deny that it was something that happened.

Apparently, living in a house with no televisions or computers has the same effect as smoking an assload of weed, because Kimbo began last night’s episode in a reflective, philosophical mood, getting right with God and dropping pearls of wisdom like: "When I decide to shave the beard is when ‘Kimbo’ will be put to rest…but will Kimbo ever be at rest?" He realizes that he’s always operated in relation to an exterior enemy, but hold the fuck up because maybe this whole time the enemy is the eneME, or rather, the INNER ME? Has Kimbo been fighting himself his whole life? Oh my God, player.

(Props: UFC.com)

In about 12 hours (give or take, depending on where you are in the country), Kimbo Slice and Roy Nelson will go toe-to-toe in the most highly anticipated exhibition bout in Ultimate Fighter history. Will the former street brawler prove himself to be "a real fighter," or will big-bellied Roy Nelson stick to the script and chew out a win? (Or both, maybe?) I’m sure you’re all sitting on your hands in unbearable anticipation, but feel free to read this stuff to pass the time until the moment of truth:

— Kimbo Slice may be fighting at UFC 107, not the TUF 10 finale: A possible slip-up during a media conference call suggests that Slice will make his post-TUF debut on the December pay-per-view card in Memphis. Implication: Kimbo loses at some point during the season, but doesn’t embarrass himself, and his television popularity is enough to warrant an appearance on a big show.

(Walker’s steely focus is unwavering even — nay, *especially* — while giving his autograph to a pair of boobs. More HW pics at Combat Lifestyle.)

We still don’t know whether former NFL running back Herschel Walker can fight, but at least his appearance on ESPN’s “First Take” proved that he can talk as crazy a game as anyone in MMA, with the possible exception of Dan Quinn.  During an appearance to talk about his recent signing with Strikeforce, the 47-year-old Heisman Trophy winner challenged Dana White to a charity bout, expressed an interest in fighting Brock Lesnar, and said it would be no problem for him to beat up all the heavyweights on this season of “The Ultimate Fighter.”  Yep, that pretty much covers all the bases.  Someone’s done their MMA trash-talking homework: 

"Dana always tells people to put their money where their mouth is. I tell Dana if he thinks I’m so old, why doesn’t he step in the ring with me? He’s been practicing (MMA) as well. So maybe Dana and I can give all the money to charity. …I’ll put dimes to donuts, all the heavyweights on his show right now, I will beat.  That’s pretty easy to say.”

I gotta admit, I’m impressed.  It’s one thing to call out another fighter or promoter.  But to call out an entire reality show’s worth of fighters at once, and to say that it would be easy to beat them all down, despite the fact that you’ve never had a pro MMA fight?  Look out, Quinn.  If Herschel gets a camera to mount on his steering wheel, your days of being MMA’s undisputed nutcase may be at an end.

Watch more Asylum videos on AOL Video

According to undefeated Strikeforce heavyweight Brett Rogers in the above video, you can usually tell how a fight is going to go down by the pre-fight faceoff. And so, three brave online editors decided to test their staredown might against the Grim, with decidedly mixed results. First up is cherubic Asylum.com writer Jordan Newmark, who nearly poops his suit-pants when Rogers penetrates deeply into his soul. But in round two, Asylum editor Jake Goodrich holds his ground despite his significant height disadvantage. (Jake was also standing on a milk crate when this was filmed.) And finally, Lemondrop.com editor Laura Gilbert evens the score with a set of Manson lamps that earns Brett’s full respect and discomfort. Also worth watching: Jordan asks Fedor Emelianenko what he really thought of Rocky IV.

(Grabbed from the Spike TV promos. Above, props to "smooshfaceace." Below, props to CagePotato reader Zachary H.)

Could it be over this soon for Big Country? We already know that Kimbo will be fighting in the finale. On a scale of 1-10, how much will you freak out if he shocks the world on Wednesday?

Previously: Why Kimbo Slice Is in Trouble Against Roy Nelson on Next Week’s "Ultimate Fighter"

(Click the image to go to the video on Spike.com)

For the most part, Team Rashad is all lovey-dovey brotherhood and positive visualization, and that’s clearly worked for them so far. But all is not well in the land of the black-and-yellow. Left out of last night’s episode was an incident in which Darrill "Titties" Schoonover accidentally crushed and drowned a bird in the backyard. As he’s telling the story to Rashad and MVA, he puts on a high-pitched voice — simply to set the scene and give it some much-needed drama — which James McSweeney takes as direct mockery. The spazzy kickboxer gets up in Darrill’s face, and Titties removes his glasses, ready to throw down. "You think you’re a big man?" McSweeney says. "You’ll get fuckin’ served right up…I will knock you the fuck out. I ain’t a li’ul bird."

Rashad is able to chill McSweeney out later, but it’s clear that their little happy-go-lucky bubble has been punctured. Team Rampage assistant Hector Ramirez witnesses the near-debacle and runs to tell Tiki Ghosn that their rival team might be fracturing. It probably isn’t, but after Team Rashad finishes running the table during the round-of-16, his guys will have to start fighting each other, and we may see Schoonover vs. McSweeney before long.

The tenth season of The Ultimate Fighter kicked off last night after UFC Fight Night 19, and thank God there are no members of the Browning family involved this time. We won’t bother recapping the first few minutes of the show, which you’ve already seen. Suffice it to say that the trash-talk between coaches Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans comes early and often. Fighter evaluations begin, with Greg Jackson helping Rashad determine who the mentally toughest fighters are by watching them hit heavy bags. James McSweeney and Brendan Schaub are actually teammates of Evans back in Albuquerque, and Rashad wants them on his TUF squad.

Rampage’s right-hand man during the show is Tiki Ghosn, who you may have seen in Danavlogs giving/receiving surprise slaps to the balls. Rampage thinks the guys need to spar and wrestle with each other to get an accurate sense of their skills. His verdict? "Roy Nelson has a big-ass belly. We checked him out, and he’s fat." Also, he starts calling Darrill Schoonover "titties." "Let’s see whatchu got, titties," he says. "Don’t bounce like that, you’ll distract me with them titties." Come on, man, gynecomastia is no laughing matter.

Interestingly, Kimbo Slice seems to handle Roy Nelson fairly easily in their sparring sessions, though Rampage notices that Kimbo’s ground skills are sub-par. Still, his takedown defense might make up for it.

So angry that he tears a cardboard door to shreds in the Ultimate Fighter training center. (It’s a reality TV show set — you can’t really expect quality construction.) We’re not sure what Rashad did to set him off, but judging from their performances against a common opponent, Rampage would easily beat Brock Lesnar.

(Props: YouTube.com/norton via BloodyElbow)

This Kimbo Slice character — he’s so hot right now. And security software company Norton has decided to use him in a commercial to represent cybercriminals. Random, yes, but at least Kimbo makes more sense than Norton’s previous celebrity bad guys, the ’80s band Dokken. By the way, if you want to see what would happen if you chose "allow" in the above video, click here. Let’s hope Slice gets more lines of dialogue in the upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter. Speaking of which…

(Props: Spike.com.)

With The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights kicking off eight days from now, Spike has released this eight-minute taste of the season premiere. As soon as Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans show up on screen, the jibber-jabbering begins. Evans says that Rampage is too slow, and his big head is too easy a target. Rampage says that Rashad’s last fight proved he has no chin, and he ain’t fought nobody. Then, 15 of the castmembers walk in, and holy crap is Marcus Jones a large man. Dana White comes in to introduce a steely-eyed Kimbo Slice, who seems quite aware of the target on his back. Though Brendan Schaub doesn’t approve of Slice’s presence ("when he walked in, it was kinda like the sheep entering the room with a bunch of wolves"), Rampage claims first-pick dibs on him — and that’s just fine with Rashad. Watch how the team picks play out next Wednesday (9/16) at 10 p.m, directly following UFC Fight Night 19.

(Props: Spike via BloodyElbow)

Spike TV has released a whole mess of interview clips featuring the stars of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights, which premieres September 16th after UFC Fight Night 19. The clip at the top is your standard Rampage vs. Rashad gum-flapping session, with Quinton Jackson saying that the Team Rashad heavyweights are "lil’ bitty," "garbage," and "booboo." (?) Meanwhile, Rashad predicts a lot of tantrums from his rival. The second video reveals something interesting that I guess we should have seen coming — Evans’s "assistant coach" will be none other than game-plan master Greg "Yoda" Jackson. Once you hear Greg talk about "personal growth plans" for each fighter, it’s hard to imagine how Team Rampage will compete in the mental game.

Now let’s check in with some of TUF 10‘s heavyweight hopefuls…

(Photo courtesy of daylife.com.)

Yesterday, we mentioned that the UFC had made the unexpected decision to bring back old-timer Dennis Hallman after a four-year absence from the organization. Now we’ve learned that the UFC has re-signed another hardy veteran, adding a fight between 38-year-old Vladimir Matyushenko and Igor Pokrajac to UFC 103. A one-time UFC light-heavyweight title contender, Matyushenko went 3-2 in the UFC from 2001-2003, scoring wins over Yuki Kondo, Travis Wiuff, and Pedro Rizzo. Since then, the Janitor has gone 9-1, became the IFL’s light-heavyweight champion, and most recently won a decision over Jason Lambert at Call to Arms 1 in May. It was also reported that 35-year-old PRIDE/UFC vet Marcus Aurelio will be returning later this month at UFC 102. Between Vlad, Aurelio, Hallman, Ortiz, and the possibility that Chuck Liddell isn’t quite retired, it’s clear what’s going on here: TUF 11: Last Call. The coaches will be Chuck and Tito, the minimum age will be 33, and the winner will receive $100,000 in prescription medication.

(Props: MMA Scraps)

We’re less than two months away from the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights, and it’s hard not to get excited about the first brief shots of Kimbo Slice walking out to the TUF cage and pacing around before a fight, with Rampage Jackson possibly in his corner (see the -00:09 mark). Plus, the fact that Jackson and Rashad Evans will hate each other’s guts from day one could bring back some of the Tito vs. Ken magic of season 3. So far, everybody involved is playing it very close to the vest in regards to how the fights played out this season. But the interview after the jump may suggest that Slice shook off the haters and did, at the very least, aight.

("Yeah, the sushi did taste a little funny. Why do you ask?" Photo courtesy of the Las Vegas Sun.)

Some choice quotes from recent interviews promoting The Ultimate Fighter 10: Heavyweights, which premieres September 16th…

Kimbo Slice on piss-soaked fruit trays: "(If someone pulls a prank on him similar to stunts from past shows) there’s gonna be gun play, but fortunately for them I couldn’t bring my pistol. That’s a whole another level. Silver bracelets (handcuffs) if you feel me."

Kimbo Slice on the possibility of being ejected from the house for fighting: "I’m a fighter, dude. I’m not gonna have a motherfucker disrespect me, in no case whatsoever…I’mma be me and I’m gonna stand my ground to the fullest…I wouldn’t want to get thrown out that way. [But] if that becomes my only fight then god damn we gonna fight."

Roy Nelson on Kimbo Slice: “Ability-wise, he’s probably one of the better fighters there.”

(Judging from the jersey colors, it’ll be Team Black vs. Team Black. Subtle. Photo courtesy of Spike. Click for larger image.)

Spike TV revealed the complete cast of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights this afternoon via press release. Here’s who will be bunkin’ up in the TUF house:

Zak Jensen – standout wrestler at Augsburg College
Marcus Jones – former 1st round NFL draft pick who had a six-year career with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Scott Junk – Division II All-American football player at Southwest Oklahoma State and fought in UFC 76.
James McSweeney – former international kickboxing and Muay Thai champion
John Madsen – defeated Brock Lesnar in a high school wrestling match
Matt Mitrione – played for New York Giants and Minnesota Vikings
Roy Nelson – former IFL Heavyweight Champion
Demico Rogers – high school football and wrestling star
Brendan Schaub – played for Buffalo Bills and Arena Football’s Utah Blaze
Darrill Schoonover – decorated Army veteran
Wes Shivers – former member of the Tennessee Titans and Atlanta Falcons
Wes Sims – fought two heated battles with former UFC champ Frank Mir at UFC 43 and UFC 46
Kimbo Slice – former EliteXC heavyweight contender and YouTube sensation
Abe Wagner – played linebacker at Michigan Tech and has a degree in mechanical engineering
Mike Wessel – UFC veteran and former strength and conditioning coach at University of Arkansas
Justin Wren – All-American high school wrestler

(Photos courtesy of UFC.com.)

The UFC paid out $630,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses for Saturday night’s Ultimate Fighter 9 Finale, according to figures released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission. Leading the list are Diego Sanchez — who took home an event-high $115,000 thanks to his Fight of the Night bonus and pack-leading to-show salary — and Joe Stevenson, who came in second place with $95,000. The numbers are below…

– Diego Sanchez: $115,000 (includes $45,000 win bonus and $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Joe Stevenson: $95,000 (includes $35,000 win bonus and $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Chris Lytle: $61,000 (includes $18,000 win bonus and $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Clay Guida: $48,000 (includes $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Nate Diaz: $45,000 (includes $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Jason Dent: $41,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus and $25,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
– Tomasz Drwal: $40,600 (includes $7,000 win bonus, $25,000 Knockout of the Night bonus, and 20% of Mike Ciesnolevicz’s to-show money [$1,600])
– Kevin Burns: $34,000 (includes $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

Kimbo wants his belt and flexes his moob. Be afraid; be very afraid.

(Diaz and Stevenson earned $25,000 Fight of the Night bonuses and contracts with Cirque Du Soleil. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

For the first time in the organization’s history, the UFC handed out three Fight of the Night bonuses for last night’s Ultimate Fighter 9 Finale show, giving $25,000 bumps to Joe Stevenson, Nate Diaz, Chris Lytle, Kevin Burns, Diego Sanchez and Clay Guida for their thrilling three-rounders. But that doesn’t mean the UFC skimped on its other traditional bonuses: Tomasz Drwal pocketed the $25,000 Knockout of the Night bonus for his knee-and-punches KO of Mike Ciesnolevicz during the undercard, and TUF 9‘s Jason Dent scored the Submission of the Night bonus for sinking on an anaconda choke at the end of the first round of his fight with Team U.S.A. rival Cameron Dollar, after getting beaten up standing for much of the round. Speaking of the prelims, here’s how they turned out:

10. "I’m here to get paid and hurt people’s feelings, so…it’s time to do the man dance." — Damarques Johnson, offering his mission statement.

9. "You just gotta do what you gotta do whatcha can." — Dan Henderson, on the meaning of life.

8. “Oiiiieeeeehhhh!” — Michael Bisping, every time a Team U.K. fighter landed a shot on an American, and sometimes when they just came close.

7. "Put another shrimp on the barbie!" — Rob Browning, not the most worldly gentleman, tries to mock the Brits with a beloved Australian catchphrase.

With MMA Madness reporting that Frank Lester vs. Nick Osipczak will be added to the TUF 9 finale, and the Grant/Markham scrap taken off the card, we have a pretty solid idea of what Saturday’s show will look like, barring any last-minute surprises. Here’s the lineup:

MAIN CARD
Diego Sanchez vs. Clay Guida (LW)
DaMarques Johnson vs. James Wilks (TUF 9 welterweight finals)
Ross Pearson vs. Andre Winner (TUF 9 lightweight finals)
Joe Stevenson vs. Nate Diaz (LW)
Chris Lytle vs. Kevin Burns (WW)

PRELIMINARY CARD
Melvin Guillard vs. Gleison Tibau (LW)
Mike Ciesnolevicz vs. Tomasz Drwal (LHW)
Brad Blackburn vs. Edgar Garcia (WW)
Cameron Dollar vs. Jason Dent (LW)
Frank Lester vs. Nick Osipczak (WW)

So if you participated in round 1 of our pick-off contest and you still want the Lyoto Machida "Karate for Mixed Martial Arts" DVD set, read on…

(Click above for the completed TUF 9 welterweight bracket. Props: Wikipedia.)

With the last welterweight semifinal coming up, Team U.S. comes together for one last barbecue. Frank Lester gets all swoony over Dan Henderson, telling Hendo "your eyes don’t look bad at all" and "I wouldn’t fuck with you because of your ears." This is what six weeks without women will do to a man.

Damarques Johnson does his best to build up Lester’s confidence for his fight against James Wilks. He says James can’t absorb as much damage as Frank and be okay with it. We never really got to see why Damarques hates James so much, but Damarques tells us that "James is just such a pompous prick, and I want Frank to hurt him badly." He also refers to James as a "pretty boy." Seriously. This James Wilks. I think it’s safe to say that Damarques has a different standard of beauty than the rest of us. Just another example of how the absence of females can distort your perceptions.

(Careful, Shaq, that’s no cardboard cutout. Image courtesy of The Baltimore Sun.)

We’d take this with a grain of salt until the UFC makes an official announcement, but the usually-accurate U.K. paper The Sun says it has the names of all 16 castmembers for the next season of The Ultimate Fighter. (Props to TheGarv for the tip.) Unfortunately, there are no more shocking additions — no Lashleys, no Petruzellis, no Quinns — just the usual gang of up-and-comers trying to make a name for themselves. We already knew that Kimbo Slice, Roy Nelson, Wes Sims, Marcus Jones, Brendan Schaub, Matt Mitrione, and Wes Shivers scored bunks in the TUF house. So who else is gonna be hunting for that six figure contract? Here’s the lowdown:

(Whoever does Kimbo’s manscaping is a genius. More chest-hair photoshops right here.)

From MMA Weekly:

“He came in hungry. In my eyes, he came in hungry like he was before the Tank Abbott fight. It was a pleasure for me to see…We sparred every single day. We did not do that in the past. Because he had so much to learn, so many more technical things that Bas was showing him, he really didn’t have time to spar…As far as what happened before, he’s just got to take his loss and move forward…I told him the best revenge is success. He needs to go out there and show all those people that don’t like him and talk bad about him, even Dana White, go out there and be successful and everybody will forget all those things that happened to him. The biggest thing is that he’s mentally there, and he’s ready to go."
— Boxing coach Randy Khatami discusses his reunion with Kimbo Slice after a six-month layoff. Kimbo had stopped training at Elite MMA with Khatami after a falling-out with the gym’s co-owner Bas Rutten. By the way, rumors of more confirmed TUF 10 castmembers are coming out of the woodwork, including Justin Wren and "Big" Jim York.

(The completed TUF 9 lightweight bracket; click above for larger image. Props to Wikipedia.)

With Damarques Johnson taking the first finale spot in the welterweight bracket, Team U.S. has momentum, and Dan Henderson says he wants to make the finale "Dana’s nightmare, no U.K. guys." But the Brits have other ideas. First up in the lightweight semis will be Team U.K.’s Andre Winner vs. Team U.S.’s Cameron Dollar, who’s struggling in practice due to injured cartilage in his ribs. "I catch a body shot or a kick, I’m gonna fold in half," he says.

Andre says Jason Pierce gave him some insight into Cameron’s striking, and all he really needs to do is stay away from the big right hook. He looks tight on the focus mitts. Andre also sucks his thumb, it turns out. Cameron says he can’t lose to a thumb-sucker, and prays he has God’s speed and the Devil’s rage.

TUF 9.10, Osipczak vs. Johnson – Watch more Funny Videos

It’s time to pick TUF 9‘s semi-final matchups, and while this could have been another opportunity for an argument, Bisping and Henderson are pretty much on the same page. They’d like to see Cameron/Ross and Jason/Andre in the lightweight bracket, and James/Demarques and Nick/Frank for the welterweights. The fighters are asked who they want to take on. James wants Damarques and Damarques wants James. ("I want to hurt his feelings.") Nick wants Frankie and Frankie wants Nick. Ross wants Jason, but Jason wants Andre, and Andre is "happy to fight eeva."

Cameron breaks ranks and brings up his teammate Jason Dent as the guy he’d like to fight. He tries to backtrack, but the seed has already been planted in Dana’s head. DW suggests putting teammates against each other in the semis. "Fuck that, no way," Bisping says. Then, echoing the thoughts of every Internet message board conspiracy theorist: "What so you can guarantee one of each in the finals?…I think we have the stronger team and you’re worried that you’ll have an all-UK final."