Nathan “The12ozCurls” Smith

As painful as the UFC post-fight press conferences are to sit though, you sure do learn (or at least get teased with) some vital information about the future of the organization. Stuff like: Dana White saying that he doesn’t want to deal with Alistair Overeem because “he sat in front of us . . . . Lied to us.” There is an entire horse meat story waiting to be written by Josh Hutchinson on that, but I am talking about good juicy TMZ’esque gossip shit. The Overeem issue is kind of news but it was overshadowed by another series of questions asked.

Because there was not a camera pointed at the media members, I am not certain it was Ariel Helwani – but I am pretty damn positive – who asked the most intriguing questions of the night. I AM sure that there are not a lot of guys that (sound like a baritone-polite-Mogwai and) have the stones to ask the necessary questions – but big props to Helwani if it was in fact him.

(Does this look like the face of a man who is pumped for Wrestlemania? PicProps: BloodyElbow)

Right on schedule, the Internets are in full-on meltdown mode this Monday morning concerning all things Brock Lesnar. Lesnar fans who talked him up as an unstoppable juggernaut as late as Friday afternoon are now backtracking, suddenly focusing more on his inexperience than his otherworldly physical prowess. Cain Velasquez supporters are getting their gloat on, as well they should, after Velasquez put a king sized beating on Lesnar at UFC 121. We blogging scumbags are attacking the former champ’s striking skills, his game plan and his training camp. Many of us are wondering aloud about Lesnar’s future in the sport, how he’ll rebound from this and what in the bejeezus is going to happen to our precious heavyweight rankings now.

For his part, UFC President Dana White is insinuating that the whitetail deer population of southwestern Minnesota might be a bit inflated come spring, since he believes Lesnar will cancel much of his planned time off in order to get back in the gym and back in the Octagon ASAP. Then there’s this goddamned Undertaker thing, which is threatening to take on a life of its own.

(Valhalla was not quite what Lesnar had been expecting. There were fewer sexy valkyries and more big Mexicans angry about that shit he said. PicProps: UFC.com)

So, Cain Velasquez came as advertised at UFC 121. Brock Lesnar? Not quite so much. When Lesnar’s early Caveman Smash offense failed and he couldn’t keep Velasquez on the mat with his vaunted wrestling prowess, shit got ugly in a hurry. Of all the things the newly minted UFC heavyweight champion did well on Saturday night – face-punching being the most obvious – the most important and impressive may have been his ability to scramble back to his feet. As it turns out (and as some of you already suspected) the only thing Velasquez had to do to win this fight was keep it vertical, size and strength be damned. 

Clearly, Lesnar’s standup game is still a disaster of the approximate size and scope of the Hindenburg and the cracks that emerged in his repertoire during his previous fight with Shane Carwin busted wide open against Velasquez. He lashed out with some knees and good straight punches early, but they didn’t seem to faze the undefeated AKA product. As soon as Cain marshaled the troops and went on the offensive it was clear Lesnar had no plan B. And lo, there was much rejoicing and celebration. The Dark Lord hath fallen.

The most pressing question now may be what unforeseen calamity will befall Velasquez? Motorcycle wreck? Lengthy contract dispute? Hole in his colon? The only thing we’ve been able to conclusively prove about the UFC heavyweight title over the years is that winning it is typically not good for your health. As for Lesnar? Well, it’s funny how you can go from ruling the roost to looking like a chump in just under five minutes. Now even The Undertaker wants a piece. That video is after the jump.