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Tag: Tim Sylvia

‘Big Law: Deputy Butterbean’ Is a Real Show, for God’s Sake

He made his bones knocking out palookas in the Toughman circuit in the ’90s, before transitioning into an MMA career where he was usually matched up against other oddly-shaped fighters. But now that he’s older and wiser — and still enormous — all Butterbean wants to do is protect and serve. That’s the premise of a new reality series called Big Law: Deputy Butterbean, which premieres August 9th on the Investigation Discovery channel.

The show follows Eric Esch (aka Butterbean, King of the Damn Four-Rounders) and his partner Deputy Adam Hadder as they patrol the streets of Jasper, Alabama, tracking down crystal meth labs and unsanctioned rib-eating contests. Will the 400+ pound ‘Bean be forced to scale a chain-link fence during a pursuit? Will Steven Seagal come in for a guest-spot? These are serious questions that need to be asked now.

When reached for comment, Tim Sylvia cried “What about meeeeeeeeeeee??” Anyway. You guys gonna watch this crap or what?

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Fireworks and Fighters: A 4th of July Comparison Guide

By Jason Moles

We the people of CagePotato.com, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Bans, insure comments section Tranquility, provide for the common noob, promote the general Lack of Welfare, and attempt to secure the Blessings of Dana to ourselves and our readers, do ordain and establish this Comparison of fighters and fireworks for the Potato Nation.

There are plenty of MMA fighters out there who love to bring the pyrotechnics to the cage, lighting up their opponents for the enjoyment of the fans and the pleasure of a paycheck. In honor of Independence Day weekend — and our new friends at Wild Turkey — here’s a list of actual 4th of July fireworks that remind us of some well-known scrappers. Celebrate safely, and please try not to lose any fingers.

Snap-n-Pops (aka bang snaps, snappers, or whip’n pops): Corey Hill, Jason MacDonald, Razak Al-Hassan, Tim Sylvia

Call ‘em what you want, these small novelty fireworks are perfect for youngsters. You throw them against a wall, floor, or sleeping grandparent, and they make a satisfying POP! Cool, huh? It’s hard not to think of a ‘Snap-n-Pop’ and not think of these guys, whose limbs unfortunately made the same noises in their past fights.

Roman Candles: Clay Guida

Excitement. Power. Flash. Seemingly unending performance. Fun. Clay ‘The Carpenter’ Guida is more than your average firework. Hey may not blow up any doors but rest assured he’s always going to be a crowd favorite. No one has ever had a Roman Candle war or watched a Guida fight and not had the time of their life. For every colorful ball that is emitted from the candle, Guida whips his hair back and shoots in for a takedown. Regardless of what happens, they both just keep going until the final bell. When messing around with either, be careful; someone usually ends up a bloody mess.

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Keyboard Warriors #3: The Ream

If you missed Keyboard Warriors Monday, hey thanks. Nice to know someone actually appreciates all I do to entertain you jerkfaces. For the rest of you: hey guess what i did?

Yup, prepare yourselves for KBW #3! In the aftermath of the weekend’s Strikeforce action, Dana takes the time to address the heavyweights, evaluate their performances, and fill them in on his short terms plans. And his long term plans. Say what you will, but Big Daddy White dreams big, son.

If you are interested in 100% made up conversations between characters that are mostly fabrications, come on in and enjoy. Feel free to comment your little hands off. If you don’t like comedy … well, i’ve got nothing for you.

Why do you keep coming here again?

As always, thanks to Christopher and those jokers at WithLeather.

[RX]

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Top Ten American Freak Show Fights That Were Actually Good


(UFC 3′s Emmanuel Yarborough and Miley Cyrus: They may seem like a strange pairing at first, but then you spend some time with them together and you’re like “okay, I totally get it now.”)

By Matthew “The Fight Nerd” Kaplowitz

Japan has brought us so many great imports, be it giant robots, cartoons about ninja children dressed in bright colors (which sort of defeats the purpose of being a stealthy ninja), tentacle rape, and Pocky. Truly, their greatest offering to America has been the freak show fight. As we discussed last time, Japan was the country that legitimized the art of pitting two mismatched opponents in a ring and convincing us that this was the greatest thing since Steven Seagal invented the front kick.

If there’s one thing we Americans don’t like, it’s being shown up by a foreign land. So it was just a matter of time before an American promoter stood up and said, “You know what? I want to see a man that weighs a quarter of a ton fight a dwarf!” And that was how our first freak show fight was born. Well, not really, since we have better athletic commissions in America, but after reading this list of the “Top Ten American Freak Show Fights That Were Actually Good,” you might think otherwise. Let’s get it on!

10. Tim Sylvia vs. Wes Sims
Superbrawl 38, 12/12/04



In a rare battle between two giants, 6’ 8” Tim Sylvia stood almost eye to eye with Wes Sims, who had a two-inch height advantage over “The Maine-iac”.  Sylvia had fought another tall man, Gan McGee, the previous year at UFC 44, but this fight is far more entertaining. You would probably expect an evenly contested bout between these two, due to the height and their similarly aggressive tactics (both guys even used the same song for their entrance, go figure). For some reason that will never be known, Sims decided that he was the smaller man in this fight and would fight accordingly.

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Photos: Weekly MMA ‘What Ifs’

(Would James Toney have bothered to try MMA and would Dana have signed the aging boxer if this happened?)

In an effort to mix things up around here and to give you something more to do on Fridays than hide from your boss and play solitaire, we’re going to start running a weekly “What if…” Photoshop feature series to make you contemplate a bit.  The theme is simple: What could the results have been if facets of the history of the sport happened differently than they did.

If you have an idea or a ‘shop you want to submit to be featured on Friday, send it to contest@cagepotato.com.

Check out more ‘What Ifs” after the jump.

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Sylvia Makes Obligatory Excuses for Abe Wagner Loss, Says He Fights Better When He’s Not Such a Fatty


(This mean machine needs to be covered with a protective layer of blubber. Otherwise it’s just too dangerous. PicProps: Tapped Out)

Just in case you were actually starting to feel kind of bad for Tim Sylvia, there are some marvelous comments from him out on Tuesday which should remind you why you never liked the guy in the first place. Of course, by “marvelous” we mean “the sadly typical ramblings of an obese man who refuses to take responsibility for his own fuck-ups.” Turn out, Sylvia came into his fight with Abe Wagner with a hurt knee, you guys. Now it might need surgery. Nonetheless, the former UFC champ says if referee Jason Herzog hadn’t prematurely stepped in to call the fight just 32-seconds into the first round he was about to jump up and whip Wagner’s ass, bum wheel and all. 

“It was stopped way too early…It was bullshit,” Sylvia tells Five Ounces of Pain about his loss at Titan Fighting Championships last weekend. “The sad part is the ref told the promoter and my corner he was sorry because he knew he made a mistake and stopped it a little early.”

We’ll get to Herzog in a minute. First, some Breaking News: In addition to making the above obligatory excuses for his defeat, Sylvia has decided he fights better when he doesn’t show up for bouts weighing 311-pounds and looking like his body might split open like a Johnsonville brat on a hot grill.  Damn it, if only he’d known that before the fight!

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Abe Wagner Kicks Tim Sylvia’s Fat Ass


(VidProps: YouTube/ZPsBackUp)

Tim Sylvia showed up at Titan Fighting Championships on Friday night looking very much like a 311-pound man who knew he had to get this over with in a hurry. Unfortunately for the rotund former UFC champ, Abe Wagner had the same idea. Both guys came out of their corners throwing heavy leather and it was Wagner – a +355 underdog despite appearing to have trained at least one day for this bout – who got to Sylvia first. He clipped the “Maine-iac” with a right hand above the eye in the early going and drove him across the cage flurrying punches (that mostly missed) before Sylvia ran out of real estate on the other side. There he was felled like a giant, flabby redwood by a left to the jaw and another right. When referee Jason Herzog jumped in to call a stop to the action, then hesitated, Wagner responded exactly as a fighter should in that circumstance: He walked away and started celebrating, creating such an awkward situation that Herzog had no choice but to wave things off.

Sylvia tried to protest the stoppage, but you could tell he was on wobbly legs. And not just because they were covered in cellulite, either.  The end came in just 32 seconds which – to answer Michael Schiavello and Frank Trigg’s question – is four seconds fewer than it took Fedor to topple Sylvia. The current part-time cop said prior to this bout that he believes police work will “help fill the void” when the time comes for him to retire from MMA. That time may be now. Fill the void, Tim. Fill it with something besides ice cream sandwiches.

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Tim Sylvia Is Still a Fatty Boom-Boom

Tim Sylvia Titan FC 16 Abe Wager weigh-ins fat
(Tim’s impressive physique can be credited to his sports-nutritionist, John Belushi. / Photo courtesy of chavo.smugmug.com)

Tonight at the Historic Memorial Hall in Kansas City, Kansas, former UFC heavyweight champ Tim Sylvia will take a break from almost suplexing mental ladies to face TUF 10 castmember Abe Wagner in the super-heavyweight main event of Titan Fighting Championship 16. Weigh-ins were yesterday, and Timmy punished the scales at 311 pounds, which is basically what he weighed for his ill-fated bout against Ray Mercer in June 2009. Back then, we took his weight as a sign that he wasn’t taking his opponent or training seriously. But just look at that grin in the photo above. Sylvia is owning his girth. It’s where he wants to be. 

We can’t seem to find full weigh-in results for the event, but we will say that Abe Wagner is looking mad beefy, and appears to be a hell of a lot more serious about the whole thing than his "aw fuck it" opponent. The Titan FC 16 main card will be broadcast on HDNet tonight at 10 p.m. ET. The full lineup — which also features UFC vets Rich Clementi, Drew McFedries, and Jason High — is after the jump…

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Video: Tim Sylvia Takes Us Along For a Night Shift With the Milan Police Department

(Video courtesy YouTube/HDNetFights)

If you didn’t believe us when we told you that Tim Sylvia is a part-time cop in Illinois, maybe the ride-along video above will convince you. 

Notice that the department made Big Tim shave off his goatee and those trademark mutton chops — not because they have a dress code, just because they thought he looked ridiculous. Rumor has it they eventually made him stop wearing his Powerhouse World Promotions heavyweight strap while on duty, too.

The former UFC heavyweight champ’s worries that nobody would recognize him were soon squashed.

"I”ve been recognized a few times pulling guys over," he explains. "Some guys when I pull up and ask for their license, registration, insurance, they’re like, ‘Are you Tim Sylvia?’ and I’m like, ‘Yeah.’ ‘That’s cool, man. I just got pulled over by Tim Sylvia,’ and I’m like, ‘Well, be safe, slow down and have a good day.’"

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Wednesday Morning MMA Link Club

Alistair Overeem Todd Duffee Dynamite!! 2010 Japan MMA
(That shouldn’t be a problem, Todd. Photo courtesy of MMAFighting)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Helwani VS Dundas: UFC 125 Edition (Versus MMA Beat)

- Our Top UFC Photos of 2010 (MMA Fighting)

- Tim Sylvia replacing Todd Duffee at Titan Fighting Championships 16 (Five Ounces of Pain)

- The Best of Japanese MMA in 2010 (MMA Scraps)

- Brock Lesnar Looking For A Way Out Of MMA And Back To Pro-Wrestling? (SBNation.com/MMA)

- Sean McCorkle Returns Against Christian Morecraft at Fight Night 24 (Heavy.com/MMA)

- Pat Miletich Has Sold His Miletich Fighting Systems Gym (MiddleEasy)

- Exclusive Interview: Daniel Gracie talks Bellator, Georges St. Pierre and Frankie Edgar (LowKick)

- Dana White’s UFC 125 Video Blog, Part 1 (MMA Convert)

- Behind the Lens: Rich Franklin (FightMagazine)

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