(True story.)

As a wise man once tweeted, “everyone likes surprises.” Nevertheless, Miguel Torres probably didn’t enjoy the surprise he got recently when he found out that he had been cut for the second time by the UFC. Torres confirmed on his official website that he was handed his walking papers following his first-round knockout loss against rising star Michael McDonald at UFC 145. The firing follows a temporary release in December, which Torres caught for rape-joke-related offenses.

At one point the most dominant bantamweight in the history of the sport, Torres ends his UFC stint with an underwhelming record of 2-2, including decision wins over Antonio Banuelos and Nick Pace, and losses to McDonald and Demetrious Johnson. Prior to that, Torres spent three fruitful years in the WEC, where he won the promotion’s 135-pound belt and successfully defended it three times before a pair of stoppage losses to Brian Bowles and Joseph Benavidez permanently dethroned him.

(When you walk around heavier than King Mo, dwarf Demian Maia, and are about the same size as Brett Rogers, you probably weren’t a middleweight to begin with. / Photo via KnockOutDogFighting.org)

It was always a joke that Anthony Johnson competed at welterweight; having to cut over 40 pounds to make your limit isn’t healthy for your body or for fair competition. But in an ironic twist, making middleweight was even harder for Johnson than making 170. He failed miserably in two separate attempts, coming in at 197 pounds (!) for his final UFC fight against Vitor Belfort, and at 194.2 for a “catchweight” match against Dave Branch at Titan FC 22 that was originally scheduled as a middleweight contest.

Rather than risk further humiliation, AJ has decided to go up the ladder again, where he’ll compete even closer to his natural weight, whatever that may be. According to Titan Fighting Championships promoter Joe Kelly, “[Anthony Johnson] has stated that in his next fight, he wants to fight for us at 205 so that’s where the fight will be in July. We’ll see.“

(“Higher or lower than 200? Higher?”)

It looks like Anthony Johnson has found a promotion willing to overlook his chronic habit of coming in overweight for contracted bouts.

Titan Fighting Championship announced today that it has signed “Rumble” to an unspecified contract and that the 10-4 former UFC welterweight-turned-light heavyweight will be headlining its May 25 card, which will be broadcast live on HDNet. No opponent has been named for AJ, and it has yet to be determined if the former welterweight, who came in 13 pounds over for his middleweight debut at UFC 142 against Vitor Belfort in his last bout, will be fighting at 185 or at a catchweight. One thing’s for certain: his days at 170 are likely behind him.

“I’m back, and I’m fighting May 25 with Titan Fighting Championship, and I couldn’t be more thrilled to headline this event for all the fans in Kansas City and watching that night live on HDNet,” Johnson confirmed with Ariel Helwani on Monday’s MMA Hour. “I am so pumped to be fighting again, and I’m ready to take on whatever 185-pounder they put in front of me. I received offers from all over the world, and after a lot of consideration, my manager Glenn Robinson and I settled on Titan because it’s a good promotion, but more importantly it’s run by really good people.”

(In an alternate universe, Lashley gets the TKO against Chad Griggs, enters the Strikeforce heavyweight tournament, and defeats Fedor Emelianenko by flying armbar in the quarterfinals. Shane Del Rosario still goes on to win the whole thing. / Photo courtesy of Showtime)

We haven’t heard much from Bobby Lashley since he quit on the stool against Chad Griggs at Strikeforce: Houston last August. But a press release sent out this morning by Kansas City-based promotion Titan Fighting Championships has answered an important question — Bobby’s days of real fighting aren’t quite over yet.

Now 5-1 in MMA, Lashley will return to action in the headlining bout of Titan FC 17, which will go down March 25th at the Historic Memorial Hall in Kansas City, Kansas. His opponent will be James Jack, a heavyweight out of Missouri who’s either 6-2-1 or 5-4-1, depending on who you ask. In the press release, Titan Fighting CEO Joe Kelly did his best to explain why you should care: