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Tag: Tito Ortiz

“…and licking the blood off his face while I’m punching him…”

BJ Penn, God bless him, has not given up on the blood-licking thing — and he vows to do it again when he fights Sean Sherk. Check out the pre-fight hype in these new UFC 84 promo videos, which run down the matchups between Penn and Sherk, as well as Silva vs. Jardine and Oritz vs. Machida.

(Dana White: “BJ Penn is a fucking *fighter*.”)

(Dana White on Wanderlei Silva: “This guy, loves, to fucking, *fight*.”)

(Dana White on Tito Ortiz: “I think he has the will and desire to be successful. He doesn’t have the will and desire to be the best fighter in the world.”)

(Props: BloodyElbow)

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‘Settle Your Grudge’ Blows…

…and now we have video proof. Our favorite parts?

1) “You ripped it up lookin’ for guns, well, I got ‘em. And I’m gonna beat you with ‘em.”
2) The theme song (0:45-1:13), which makes “Jesus Didn’t Tap” sound like The Low End Theory. “The grudge is some guy, who just wouldn’t quit / A heated argument, over some buullll / such.”
3) Officer Carter’s compulsive finger-counting.
4) “They have a gruuzh, they wanna settle.”

In related news, it was announced last week that Tito Ortiz’s grudge-settling show, Anytown Beatdown, will be produced for the G4 cable network.

Previously: The Strange, Sad Case of ‘Called Out’ (a.k.a. ‘Settle Your Grudge’) (a.k.a. ‘Fight It Out’)

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The Strange, Sad Case of ‘Called Out’ (a.k.a. ‘Settle Your Grudge’) (a.k.a. ‘Fight It Out’)

Rb
(Google Image Search for “robbery.”)

Hey, wanna hear something fucked up? Cool. But first, some backstory:

12/11/07:
Rodrigo Gracie, Crosley Gracie, Platinum Heaven Productions, and Applebox Entertainment announce their intentions to launch a reality show called Settle Your Grudge, in which real people involved in personal disputes are trained in BJJ so they can settle them on the mat; a “famous face” would be hosting the show.

2/12/08:
CagePotato finally catches wind of it. We take the anti- stance, calling the concept “‘tarded.” To quote ourselves: “[I]s hand-to-hand combat ever the best way to settle disputes between managers/employees and teachers/students? At that point, haven’t we conceded that society has basically failed? … That ‘Cop vs. Con’ episode alone would be enough for me to stamp ‘DENIED’ on this bitch.”

2/17/08:
This posting shows up on RealityWanted.com, claiming that Tito Ortiz will be involved in a new reality show in which real people involved in disputes will be trained so the beef can be settled in a cage-fight. Sample line: “UFC Champion Tito Ortiz is going to train you to battle out your problems in the Octagon!! We are looking for ALL SHAPES AND SIZES to walk into the ring and settle it once and for all!!!!”

2/19/08:
CagePotato comes across the posting, assumes that Tito Ortiz is the “famous face” involved in Settle Your Grudge, and posts this. To quote ourselves: “The posting reinforces what initially skeeved us out about the show’s concept to begin with — their attitude that when personal disputes get too heated, “the only way to [resolve them] is to fight it out!” It’s like they’ve never realized that losing a fight makes the average person more hostile afterwards, and winning a fight often makes the winner even more of a prick than he was in the first place.”

3/14/08:
Dan Frenkel of Applebox Entertainment reads our previous post, and leaves us this comment: “First off, I would like to comment that our show starring Rodrigo and Crosley Gracie is in no way affiliated with Tito Ortiz or his show. Second, although real its just simple ENTERTAINMENT. It still beats watching crap like “who wants to marry a tranny”. If you don’t like it do us all a favor and don’t watch it. And if you really don’t like it think about auditioning, whimpy!” For a moment, we have an urge to pretend to be journalists and contact Frenkel so he can set the record straight in a more official sort of way. Then we realized that we really, really don’t care about Settle Your Grudge or Tito’s show, beyond the fact that there are two shows based on the same ‘tarded concept, which is kind of amusing. Our lives resumed as before.

Then this happened.

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Jenna Jameson Advocates a ‘Soft Hand’

JJ

Author/entrepreneur/retired porn star Jenna Jameson has decided that simply nodding along in support while boyfriend Tito Ortiz does his excruciating TV/video interviews isn’t enough, and she’s taken to her MySpace blog to write a public letter to Dana White. Here’s how it starts off:

I usually don’t comment on nastiness in the press, but I couldn’t ignore Dana Whites’ ramblings any longer. His latest interview referring to Tito as a “moron” for the hundredth time… will not go unnoticed.

so here goes…

Dana White – Pre Pubesent Schoolyard Bully
By Jenna Jameson

Oh man. The rest of the post sounds a lot like the hundreds of other anti-Dana rants you’ve probably read over the last few months on MMA websites and blogs (this one included), but here are the most notable excerpts:

— “Dana White’s insistance of my lack of brain power smacks of 18th century beliefs that women (all women) are inferior to the male species. Ignoring a persons achievements or simply their IQ due to the fact they have a vagina instead of a penis, explains Danas simplicity.”

— “The most interesting story here, is the silence by the UFC. How do they sit back, silent, and allow their ‘figure head’ to endanger the worth of their empire? Business must be tended to with a level head, or it usually self implodes.”

— It is plainly obvious that it isn’t just a coincidence that so many champions have chosen to test the waters beyond the UFC trainwreck.”

— [M]aybe the UFC should mandate steroid testing to company presidents, then maybe the company could continue its massive dominance… with a soft hand.

In Dana White’s defense, he is absolutely post-pubescent. As of now, Jenna’s rant has received 473 comments, including this recent $0.02 toss-in from “Eddy”:

I have no idea who dana white is but this person obiviously is so naive in judging other ppl and talkin shit about ppl they know nothing about..

Fuck the hater’s & happy easter Jenna!!much<333 to You & Tito<333

How true, Eddy.

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Barely Worth Mentioning News Roundup

MH
(Mark Hunt is the undisputed king of getting punched in the face.)

— Tryouts for the eighth season of The Ultimate Fighter will kick off in Boston on April 10th. Expect lawts of wicked ahsome ahmbahs.

— Keita Nakamura took one of Rob Emerson’s toes in his eye, and now he has myodesopsia. “I see many bugs though they don’t exist…I can tell this is an unlucky year.”

— UFC 85 (June 7th, London) will feature a bout between lightweights Thiago Tavares and Matt Wiman, and may also feature a middleweight match between Nate Marquardt and Thales Leites.

— Mark Hunt and his titanium-reinforced chin will return to MMA competition in May.

— BET’s blingy MMA show The Iron Ring debuts next Tuesday. The press release is here: “Headlining the show is boxing champ Floyd Mayweather (with the assistance of hip-hop star Rick Ross) managing the Money Mayweather Boys, along with hip-hop heavyweights Ludacris and Nelly representing Team Luda and Team Nelly (respectively).” Do you really need to know anything else?

— Dana White threatens Les Moonves’s ass, then admits that Andrei Arlovski hasn’t been feeling the love.

— Despite troll-jobs to the contrary, Tito Ortiz is quite healthy and will still be competing at UFC 84.

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Tito: Man About Town

It’s a nice little Saturday and you find yourself wondering what Tito is doing at that exact moment. Probably watching himself on YouTube, would be my guess. ‘Jennito’ was out and about again and it’s yet another example of Jenna Jameson restraining herself from jabbing a chopstick through the Huntington Beach Bad Boy’s circus-sized melon. In the video – on the red carpet of the Never Back Down premiere – the HBBB also talks about his upcoming projects, including “Any Town Throwdown” with G4. The pilot started shooting this week – not sure if it is taking the place of “Settle Your Grudge” with some of the Gracie clan or not. Tito also made sure to plug his upcoming book, This Is Gonna’ Hurt, where he says we’ll get “the real Tito Ortiz”. Yeah, I’ll rush out to buy that one. He also recently signed with powerhouse agency William-Morris and they’re grooming him to be the next action star. Oh and Jenna has “a lot” of projects coming up, but doesn’t seem to recall any of them at the moment. Guess she’s too embarrassed to mention Zombie Strippers.

‘Jennito’ makes their appearance at the :45 second mark.

And after getting his ogre cranium fired from The Celebrity Apprentice Tito seems a little more focused on MMA again. The fighter also recently did an interview with JarryPark.com where he discussed his UFC status and left just a slight glimmer of hope that the May 24th Machida fight will not be his last for the UFC – even though he seems pretty adamant about it being the last fight every time he speaks about it…like every time he’s on camera. He chatted briefly about some of the organizations he might want to fight for – EliteXC and HDNet Fights included among the ones he respects – and whichever one it is he insists they have to put him front and center and utilize his mike skills. Tito, those aren’t skills. It’s you liking the sound of your voice.

Other topics covered: “The Third Most Dangerous Shamrock” and his sad, sad performance against Robert “Buzz” Berry this past weekend, and why Tito won’t wrestle full time. Check out the full interview here.

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The Terrifying Debut of ‘Jennito’

If you haven’t noticed yet, Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson are pretty damn good at marketing themselves. Since the gossip magazines haven’t cared enough about them as a celebrity couple to invent a cutesy hybrid nickname (i.e., Brangelina, Tomkat, EllenPagepotato [yeah, we've been trying to keep that one on the D.L., but we're happy, and we ask that you respect our privacy]), they’ve taken it upon themselves to invent one. Will it catch on? Fingers crossed!

Of course, there’s more to this Hollyscoop.com video than ‘tarded nicknames. Ortiz strongly reiterates that he’s done with the UFC, and also reveals that he’s come around on his Kimbo Slice-hate. Jenna, as always, plays the supportive g.f., smiling and nodding and biting the inside of her cheeks while the little voice in her head screams “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO BORING ARE YOU STILL TALKING YOU OGRE-HEADED LOSER FOR FUCK’S SAKE WRAP IT UP!”

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Tito Ortiz: Fired

TOA

All things must pass. And so it went with Tito Ortiz, who found himself on the business end of a “y’fiyahd” last night on Celebrity Apprentice. Coerced into leading Team Empresario by Omarosa (who knew the next losing project manager would likely get pink-slipped), Ortiz had to develop a four-page ad spread for Dove Yogurt Bodywash or some shit, with Omarosa, Trace Adkins, and Stephen Baldwin as his associates. Unfortunately, Ortiz was a bit lost on how to approach the challenge, and Baldwin stepped in as the team’s de-facto leader, organizing a photo shoot that saw Trace seducing a hot model in a desert. It turned out surprisingly well, but Ortiz was a shifty, stammering mess when he was called on to present their work to a trio of Dove executives. Here’s one line from his pitch:

“Of course we used Trace, the reason why we used Trace is the demographics that we did have were from ladies ranging from the age of 20, or excuse me, 30 to 59, which, uh, most country folk ladies that would love Trace’s, uh…y’know, kinda push the product exactly.”

And such as. He also pronounced perfect (adj.) as per-FECT, and risque as RISK-ay. In the end, the Dove execs picked Team Hydra’s advertorial, which featured Carol Alt taking a bath and getting bitten, Marv Albert-style, by a male model. Thus, Ortiz was on the chopping block. And though Omarosa was called out for dodging a challenge that fit into her area of expertise (marketing, not washing), and Baldwin was criticized for being an overbearing prick who was directly responsible for their losing concept, the buck stopped at the project manager, and Tito was dunzo.

But Trump was so impressed with Ortiz’s performance on the show that he gave the HBBB $50,000 anyway for his charity. He called Tito “really special” and “the best there is,” which is strange because Ortiz honestly didn’t do that well on the show; he never got a chance to show off his leadership skills or business acumen, and only lasted as long as he did by hiding behind the greater failures of others. It reminded me of that SNL sketch “The Sinatra Group” where Frank Sinatra (Phil Hartman) tells 2 Live Crew’s Luther Campbell (Chris Rock) “you don’t need to work blue, kid, you got talent,” and Rock is like “no, I really don’t.” I wish that video didn’t cut off in the middle so you could actually see what I’m talking about.

“Issue #4: Milli Vanilli, what is this faggot crap?” Classic.

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UFC Originally Had Gators – Seriously


(The future centerpieces of the UFC.)

I don’t make a habit of reading askmen.com unless I’m researching how to properly organize my closet or how taking a cooking class can make me a better lover – my closet has never looked better by the way – but MMA News is directing attention to askmen’s article, 5 Things You Didn’t Know: The UFC. The piece digs up some absurd stuff we knew and some we didn’t about the organization. Case in point:

1- It was supposed to involve alligators
If nothing else, you can’t successfully accuse the original promoters of the UFC of failing to think big. Specifically, in addition to such outrageous ideas as putting electric fences around the ring, one of their many schemes was to include live alligators thrashing around in moats. Fortunately, UFC doctors were a bit more practical in their thinking, advising against such plans because of the potential harm these could do to the fighters.

Was Bob Meyrowitz behind the curtain on this one? It doesn’t give an exact date as to when the gators were to make their appearance, but I’m guessing YAMMA’s showman had crocs and gators as an idea for a new “surface”.

Point number two details John McCain’s flip-flop on his stance concerning MMA, specifically the UFC. That we are well aware of – as we are of point number five, which is that Dana White kept Tito in the UFC in 2006 by offering to go three rounds with him – a ploy that likely won’t work this time around.

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Week in Review: Dollar Bills, Yo!


(YAMMA’s next “Super Fight” contestants.)

— You guys rocked it again as we gave away our last copies of Chuck Liddell’s Iceman: My Fighting Life. And don’t forget to contribute to the latest challenge we tossed at ya’.

— The EliteXC paid Kimbo serious cheddar. The other fighters not so much. But at least they attempted to ‘splain their $1 payday.

— YAMMA added to their “Old Farts Throwin’ Down” debut event.

— We continued shaking our heads at the Xyience mess.

Kimbo videos got some play, including episode two of “WWKD?” and a Showtime Short.

Sick submissions. Believe it.

— UFC Fight Night 13 was upped to three hours and gained another fight.

— News came at you in nuggets, morsels, bits, and small potatoes.

— Wandy and Baroni made love, not war.

— MMA reality series continued to be churned out of the crap factory.

— We talked chicks – and CP reader Anonymous obviously has a score to settle with Kim Couture.

Enjoy the weekend. We’ll do this all again next week!

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