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Tag: Tito Ortiz

Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 84 Edition

Wanderlei Silva UFC 84
(“Gimme $2,000 on Jardine.”)

This has already been getting some play on the forums, but for those weak bastards who haven’t joined yet, betting odds for UFC 84′s three marquee match-ups have been released. Shall we take a look?

BJ Penn (favorite) vs. Sean Sherk (underdog)
Our buds at BetUS have Penn as a -230 favorite (you’d have to bet $230 to win $100 back) with Sherk riding the +180 underdog line (a $100 bet would score you $180). Setting aside BJ’s current hype as one of the most talented fighters in the world, he really does hold an advantage over Sherk in every aspect other than conditioning; his standup is better, his submissions are much better, and he’s not going to let Sherk lie on top of him the entire fight. But Sherk’s undeniable talent and accomplishments are preventing oddsmakers from calling this any wider than it already is. If you want to make a high-percentage wager on the Prodigy, do so at BetUS. If you’re going for the longshot, throw down a bill on Sherk at PinnacleSports, where they’re giving the Muscle Shark a juicy +232 line.

Lyoto Machida (favorite) vs. Tito Ortiz (underdog)
BetUS says -220 for Machida and +175 for Ortiz, a slightly closer line than Penn/Sherk, owing partly to the fact that Machida still doesn’t have a win against a top-10 light heavyweight under his belt — not that Ortiz is top 10 anymore, but he could easily be Machida’s toughest challenge to date. Will the Dragon still stomp Ortiz? Yeah, pretty much. Ortiz may be a better wrestler, but that’s about it. Lyoto seems to come from the Anderson Silva school of well-rounded badasses with very few holes in their game, and he’s probably a lot more focused than the stretched-in-all-directions Ortiz, who can hopefully schedule some workouts between reality show appearances, t-shirt company management, sex with Jenna Jameson, and bitching about Dana White whenever there’s a microphone in the room. Pinnacle has Machida at a far more attractive -185, while Ortiz nut-huggers can squeeze a tiny bit more value out of their misguided bet at BetCris, where he’s +180.

Wanderlei Silva (favorite) vs. Keith Jardine (underdog)
Here, folks, is the only smart underdog bet of the lot. BetUs has Wandy as a -185 favorite with Jardine the ‘dog at +145. Look, we know the Axe Murderer was a killer in PRIDE — but he needs to win a couple in the Octagon to convince me that he’s just as fearsome over here. Take away the use of soccer kicks and knees to the head on the ground, biased refs and judges, matchmaking that had him go up against opponents that were tailor-made for his style, (*cough*steroids*cough*), and the confidence that comes from never losing, and we’re not even talking about the same guy anymore. Silva won’t be doing any axe-murdering at UFC 84 — he’s going to be fighting not to lose, and will come out a much more cautious, tentative version of himself. Meanwhile, Jardine is surely working on another great game-plan with Greg Jackson, knowing that if he pulls off another big win his title shot will be waiting. Great risk, great reward, etc. Pinnacle and Sportsbook have Jardine at a solid +150. I don’t think there’s enough value in a bet on Wanderlei, but if you disagree, Pinnacle and Bodog have him at a more reasonable -160.

(BG)

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UFC Cast-Offs Join Forces for Something or Other

to
(We couldn’t find a picture of Tito posing with a 40 oz. bottle of Mickey’s malt liquor, but this is pretty close.)

If you needed more proof that Tito Ortiz is truly, madly, deeply done with the UFC after fighting Lyoto Machida at UFC 84, here goes: The Huntington Beach Bad Boy has just inked a major sponsorship with Mickey’s, which will see the “Fine Malt Liquor” developing promotions, events and packaging featuring Ortiz. Mickey’s will also be involved in cross-promotion with Ortiz’s Team Punishment clothing brand.

Unless you’ve sustained trauma to your hippocampus recently, you’ll recall that Mickey’s was the official beer sponsor of the Octagon until the UFC found greener pastures with Anheuser-Busch/Bud Light, and that Tito Ortiz was one of the UFC’s franchise-carrying fighters until he shifted his focus to acting, dating a porn star, and being a general pain in Dana White’s ass. And now they’ll be together, grumbling about how they never needed the stupid UFC anyway. Wonderful.

Still, this Mickey’s sponsorship could be pretty cool, depending on what Tito does with it. As long as he doesn’t demand a “Mickey’s Replay” every time he’s done banging Jenna…

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“…and licking the blood off his face while I’m punching him…”

BJ Penn, God bless him, has not given up on the blood-licking thing — and he vows to do it again when he fights Sean Sherk. Check out the pre-fight hype in these new UFC 84 promo videos, which run down the matchups between Penn and Sherk, as well as Silva vs. Jardine and Oritz vs. Machida.

(Dana White: “BJ Penn is a fucking *fighter*.”)

(Dana White on Wanderlei Silva: “This guy, loves, to fucking, *fight*.”)

(Dana White on Tito Ortiz: “I think he has the will and desire to be successful. He doesn’t have the will and desire to be the best fighter in the world.”)

(Props: BloodyElbow)

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‘Settle Your Grudge’ Blows…

…and now we have video proof. Our favorite parts?

1) “You ripped it up lookin’ for guns, well, I got ‘em. And I’m gonna beat you with ‘em.”
2) The theme song (0:45-1:13), which makes “Jesus Didn’t Tap” sound like The Low End Theory. “The grudge is some guy, who just wouldn’t quit / A heated argument, over some buullll / such.”
3) Officer Carter’s compulsive finger-counting.
4) “They have a gruuzh, they wanna settle.”

In related news, it was announced last week that Tito Ortiz’s grudge-settling show, Anytown Beatdown, will be produced for the G4 cable network.

Previously: The Strange, Sad Case of ‘Called Out’ (a.k.a. ‘Settle Your Grudge’) (a.k.a. ‘Fight It Out’)

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The Strange, Sad Case of ‘Called Out’ (a.k.a. ‘Settle Your Grudge’) (a.k.a. ‘Fight It Out’)

Rb
(Google Image Search for “robbery.”)

Hey, wanna hear something fucked up? Cool. But first, some backstory:

12/11/07:
Rodrigo Gracie, Crosley Gracie, Platinum Heaven Productions, and Applebox Entertainment announce their intentions to launch a reality show called Settle Your Grudge, in which real people involved in personal disputes are trained in BJJ so they can settle them on the mat; a “famous face” would be hosting the show.

2/12/08:
CagePotato finally catches wind of it. We take the anti- stance, calling the concept “‘tarded.” To quote ourselves: “[I]s hand-to-hand combat ever the best way to settle disputes between managers/employees and teachers/students? At that point, haven’t we conceded that society has basically failed? … That ‘Cop vs. Con’ episode alone would be enough for me to stamp ‘DENIED’ on this bitch.”

2/17/08:
This posting shows up on RealityWanted.com, claiming that Tito Ortiz will be involved in a new reality show in which real people involved in disputes will be trained so the beef can be settled in a cage-fight. Sample line: “UFC Champion Tito Ortiz is going to train you to battle out your problems in the Octagon!! We are looking for ALL SHAPES AND SIZES to walk into the ring and settle it once and for all!!!!”

2/19/08:
CagePotato comes across the posting, assumes that Tito Ortiz is the “famous face” involved in Settle Your Grudge, and posts this. To quote ourselves: “The posting reinforces what initially skeeved us out about the show’s concept to begin with — their attitude that when personal disputes get too heated, “the only way to [resolve them] is to fight it out!” It’s like they’ve never realized that losing a fight makes the average person more hostile afterwards, and winning a fight often makes the winner even more of a prick than he was in the first place.”

3/14/08:
Dan Frenkel of Applebox Entertainment reads our previous post, and leaves us this comment: “First off, I would like to comment that our show starring Rodrigo and Crosley Gracie is in no way affiliated with Tito Ortiz or his show. Second, although real its just simple ENTERTAINMENT. It still beats watching crap like “who wants to marry a tranny”. If you don’t like it do us all a favor and don’t watch it. And if you really don’t like it think about auditioning, whimpy!” For a moment, we have an urge to pretend to be journalists and contact Frenkel so he can set the record straight in a more official sort of way. Then we realized that we really, really don’t care about Settle Your Grudge or Tito’s show, beyond the fact that there are two shows based on the same ‘tarded concept, which is kind of amusing. Our lives resumed as before.

Then this happened.

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Jenna Jameson Advocates a ‘Soft Hand’

JJ

Author/entrepreneur/retired porn star Jenna Jameson has decided that simply nodding along in support while boyfriend Tito Ortiz does his excruciating TV/video interviews isn’t enough, and she’s taken to her MySpace blog to write a public letter to Dana White. Here’s how it starts off:

I usually don’t comment on nastiness in the press, but I couldn’t ignore Dana Whites’ ramblings any longer. His latest interview referring to Tito as a “moron” for the hundredth time… will not go unnoticed.

so here goes…

Dana White – Pre Pubesent Schoolyard Bully
By Jenna Jameson

Oh man. The rest of the post sounds a lot like the hundreds of other anti-Dana rants you’ve probably read over the last few months on MMA websites and blogs (this one included), but here are the most notable excerpts:

— “Dana White’s insistance of my lack of brain power smacks of 18th century beliefs that women (all women) are inferior to the male species. Ignoring a persons achievements or simply their IQ due to the fact they have a vagina instead of a penis, explains Danas simplicity.”

— “The most interesting story here, is the silence by the UFC. How do they sit back, silent, and allow their ‘figure head’ to endanger the worth of their empire? Business must be tended to with a level head, or it usually self implodes.”

— It is plainly obvious that it isn’t just a coincidence that so many champions have chosen to test the waters beyond the UFC trainwreck.”

— [M]aybe the UFC should mandate steroid testing to company presidents, then maybe the company could continue its massive dominance… with a soft hand.

In Dana White’s defense, he is absolutely post-pubescent. As of now, Jenna’s rant has received 473 comments, including this recent $0.02 toss-in from “Eddy”:

I have no idea who dana white is but this person obiviously is so naive in judging other ppl and talkin shit about ppl they know nothing about..

Fuck the hater’s & happy easter Jenna!!much<333 to You & Tito<333

How true, Eddy.

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Barely Worth Mentioning News Roundup

MH
(Mark Hunt is the undisputed king of getting punched in the face.)

— Tryouts for the eighth season of The Ultimate Fighter will kick off in Boston on April 10th. Expect lawts of wicked ahsome ahmbahs.

— Keita Nakamura took one of Rob Emerson’s toes in his eye, and now he has myodesopsia. “I see many bugs though they don’t exist…I can tell this is an unlucky year.”

— UFC 85 (June 7th, London) will feature a bout between lightweights Thiago Tavares and Matt Wiman, and may also feature a middleweight match between Nate Marquardt and Thales Leites.

— Mark Hunt and his titanium-reinforced chin will return to MMA competition in May.

— BET’s blingy MMA show The Iron Ring debuts next Tuesday. The press release is here: “Headlining the show is boxing champ Floyd Mayweather (with the assistance of hip-hop star Rick Ross) managing the Money Mayweather Boys, along with hip-hop heavyweights Ludacris and Nelly representing Team Luda and Team Nelly (respectively).” Do you really need to know anything else?

— Dana White threatens Les Moonves’s ass, then admits that Andrei Arlovski hasn’t been feeling the love.

— Despite troll-jobs to the contrary, Tito Ortiz is quite healthy and will still be competing at UFC 84.

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Tito: Man About Town

It’s a nice little Saturday and you find yourself wondering what Tito is doing at that exact moment. Probably watching himself on YouTube, would be my guess. ‘Jennito’ was out and about again and it’s yet another example of Jenna Jameson restraining herself from jabbing a chopstick through the Huntington Beach Bad Boy’s circus-sized melon. In the video – on the red carpet of the Never Back Down premiere – the HBBB also talks about his upcoming projects, including “Any Town Throwdown” with G4. The pilot started shooting this week – not sure if it is taking the place of “Settle Your Grudge” with some of the Gracie clan or not. Tito also made sure to plug his upcoming book, This Is Gonna’ Hurt, where he says we’ll get “the real Tito Ortiz”. Yeah, I’ll rush out to buy that one. He also recently signed with powerhouse agency William-Morris and they’re grooming him to be the next action star. Oh and Jenna has “a lot” of projects coming up, but doesn’t seem to recall any of them at the moment. Guess she’s too embarrassed to mention Zombie Strippers.

‘Jennito’ makes their appearance at the :45 second mark.

And after getting his ogre cranium fired from The Celebrity Apprentice Tito seems a little more focused on MMA again. The fighter also recently did an interview with JarryPark.com where he discussed his UFC status and left just a slight glimmer of hope that the May 24th Machida fight will not be his last for the UFC – even though he seems pretty adamant about it being the last fight every time he speaks about it…like every time he’s on camera. He chatted briefly about some of the organizations he might want to fight for – EliteXC and HDNet Fights included among the ones he respects – and whichever one it is he insists they have to put him front and center and utilize his mike skills. Tito, those aren’t skills. It’s you liking the sound of your voice.

Other topics covered: “The Third Most Dangerous Shamrock” and his sad, sad performance against Robert “Buzz” Berry this past weekend, and why Tito won’t wrestle full time. Check out the full interview here.

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The Terrifying Debut of ‘Jennito’

If you haven’t noticed yet, Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson are pretty damn good at marketing themselves. Since the gossip magazines haven’t cared enough about them as a celebrity couple to invent a cutesy hybrid nickname (i.e., Brangelina, Tomkat, EllenPagepotato [yeah, we've been trying to keep that one on the D.L., but we're happy, and we ask that you respect our privacy]), they’ve taken it upon themselves to invent one. Will it catch on? Fingers crossed!

Of course, there’s more to this Hollyscoop.com video than ‘tarded nicknames. Ortiz strongly reiterates that he’s done with the UFC, and also reveals that he’s come around on his Kimbo Slice-hate. Jenna, as always, plays the supportive g.f., smiling and nodding and biting the inside of her cheeks while the little voice in her head screams “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO BORING ARE YOU STILL TALKING YOU OGRE-HEADED LOSER FOR FUCK’S SAKE WRAP IT UP!”

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Tito Ortiz: Fired

TOA

All things must pass. And so it went with Tito Ortiz, who found himself on the business end of a “y’fiyahd” last night on Celebrity Apprentice. Coerced into leading Team Empresario by Omarosa (who knew the next losing project manager would likely get pink-slipped), Ortiz had to develop a four-page ad spread for Dove Yogurt Bodywash or some shit, with Omarosa, Trace Adkins, and Stephen Baldwin as his associates. Unfortunately, Ortiz was a bit lost on how to approach the challenge, and Baldwin stepped in as the team’s de-facto leader, organizing a photo shoot that saw Trace seducing a hot model in a desert. It turned out surprisingly well, but Ortiz was a shifty, stammering mess when he was called on to present their work to a trio of Dove executives. Here’s one line from his pitch:

“Of course we used Trace, the reason why we used Trace is the demographics that we did have were from ladies ranging from the age of 20, or excuse me, 30 to 59, which, uh, most country folk ladies that would love Trace’s, uh…y’know, kinda push the product exactly.”

And such as. He also pronounced perfect (adj.) as per-FECT, and risque as RISK-ay. In the end, the Dove execs picked Team Hydra’s advertorial, which featured Carol Alt taking a bath and getting bitten, Marv Albert-style, by a male model. Thus, Ortiz was on the chopping block. And though Omarosa was called out for dodging a challenge that fit into her area of expertise (marketing, not washing), and Baldwin was criticized for being an overbearing prick who was directly responsible for their losing concept, the buck stopped at the project manager, and Tito was dunzo.

But Trump was so impressed with Ortiz’s performance on the show that he gave the HBBB $50,000 anyway for his charity. He called Tito “really special” and “the best there is,” which is strange because Ortiz honestly didn’t do that well on the show; he never got a chance to show off his leadership skills or business acumen, and only lasted as long as he did by hiding behind the greater failures of others. It reminded me of that SNL sketch “The Sinatra Group” where Frank Sinatra (Phil Hartman) tells 2 Live Crew’s Luther Campbell (Chris Rock) “you don’t need to work blue, kid, you got talent,” and Rock is like “no, I really don’t.” I wish that video didn’t cut off in the middle so you could actually see what I’m talking about.

“Issue #4: Milli Vanilli, what is this faggot crap?” Classic.

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