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Tag: Tito Ortiz

Oh, Jesus: Tito Ortiz Tapped for ‘Tarded Gracie Revenge Series

TO
(Hey, if you say so buddy…)

Last week, we passed judgment on Settle Your Grudge, an ill-advised reality show that Rodrigo and Crosley Gracie are producing, in which two people involved in a feud get to settle it with some BJJ. Think People’s Court, except with the “due process and justice” replaced by “fighting.”

Well, it’s apparently not too lowbrow a concept for Tito Ortiz, who may be signed on as the “famous face” described in the original press release. MMAMania came across this posting on RealityWanted.com which lays out more gory details:

New TV Show Starring TITO ORTIZ is Looking For You!!!!

Do you have a beef with someone and tried everything to solve it but can’t? Did your best friend steal your girl?

Did your old roommate shaft you on your rent? Did you have a falling out with your best friend and have no way to solve it?

Also looking for competitive friends or friends with a problem they need to solve and the only way to do it is to fight it out!

UFC Champion Tito Ortiz is going to train you to battle out your problems in the Octagon!! We are looking for ALL SHAPES AND SIZES to walk into the ring and settle it once and for all!!!!

Both of you would need to come down and audition in our Hollywood studio, so you must live in Southern California!

Casting ASAP!

Can you feel the excitement?! It’s like they used a dartboard to determine how many exclamation points would go at the end of each sentence.

The posting reinforces what initially skeeved us out about the show’s concept to begin with — their attitude that when personal disputes get too heated, “the only way to [resolve them] is to fight it out!” It’s like they’ve never realized that losing a fight makes the average person more hostile afterwards, and winning a fight often makes the winner even more of a prick than he was in the first place. And if you’re answering an online ad to be on a reality show, chances are you were a huge prick in the first place.

By the way, we suggest you spend some time on RealityWanted.com, which seems to be the social networking site for the delusional, neurotic and fame-desperate. I mean, just look at some of the bullshit they need bodies for. Hello stardom!!!!

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Tito Ortiz + Jenna Jameson + Horse = Not What You’re Thinking

If you haven’t been watching The Celebrity Apprentice…well, you’re not missing much. But our boy Tito is still in the game, and on Thursday’s episode he was part of a challenge where he and three teammates had to run a successful carriage-ride operation in New York’s Central Park. Jenna Jameson shows up with a wad of hot money she just got from God-knows-where, and they ride off. And she calls him “pumpkin.” And it’s really gross.

(Props: MMAFever)

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Tito and Jenna Do Howard Stern

JJ
(Movie magic.)

Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson stopped by the Howard Stern Show this morning to promote Jenna’s new book, Jenna Tales: Something Blue. Some of the segment’s highlights:

— Ortiz claimed he could beat Chuck Zito, Jet Li, Chuck Norris, and Bruce Lee in fights, and could defeat Mike Tyson within 30 seconds in an MMA-rules bout.

— Ortiz on Dana White: “He’s an egotistical egomaniac. He wants to be a fighter and a superstar. I’ve worked so hard for (the UFC) and put my ass on the line. I’ve fought injured and with a torn ACL and a bulging disc and still put my ass on the line, and they still don’t show me respect. Dana’s like Don King. The only thing that separates him and Dana White is the color of their skin.” On the UFC: “They make about $43 million on pay-per-view, which doesn’t even include (the live gate), which is another $5 million, and not to mention merchandise sales.” Ortiz expressed his feeling that all UFC fighters should be getting a bigger cut of the company’s revenue.

— According to Ortiz, Jenna Jameson’s new, smaller breast implants are “awesome.” Jameson gave Ortiz credit for turning her back onto men. “He’s good at the same things women are,” she said. (Excuse us for a moment as we find something to throw up in. Ah, this saucepan will do.)

— From the show summary on HowardStern.com: “Jenna confessed that she sometimes gets sore because Tito wants sex so often…Jenna also took the opportunity to deny claims that she’s had a botched vaginoplasty; ‘My cookie is beautiful and I love it.’ Tito seemed to agree.” There was also some stuff about porn, Britney Spears, and bejeweled goggles that we won’t reprint.

— Ortiz is coming out with an autobiography in June called It’s Going to Hurt. What’s going to hurt, being outsold by your girlfriend at Borders?

— Ortiz used to be a meth addict.

Note to Tito: Please stop talking about how much the UFC makes, and how much they’re not paying you. It’s like walking around with a big “SUE ME” sign on your back.

(Respect: FiveOunces, MMAJunkie)

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Afternoon MMA News Roundup: Got Your Injunction Right Here

TO
(Tito Ortiz: Planning his next move?)

Too boring to get posts of their own — just boring enough to be lumped in with a few other stories!

UFC 81 drew 10,583 spectators at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas on Saturday, with 7,167 of those asses-in-seats actually paying for their tickets. That’s the lowest paid-attendance figure for a Mandalay Bay UFC event since UFC 48, which featured Ken Shamrock vs. Kimo Leopoldo as the main event. “Breaking Point” took in a live gate of $2,437,890, which is the sixth-lowest total out of the venue’s past seven UFC events. This could all be explained by an inordinate amount of comp tickets being handed out for Brock Lesnar’s Octagon debut, and the UFC could have easily gotten their money back on pay-per-view buys. But since the UFC isn’t required to release information on PPV revenue, we may not hear the full story for some time.

— Tito Ortiz may be planning a 10-year-anniversary re-match with Frank Shamrock outside of the UFC. The two fighters first met at UFC 22 back in September 1999, where they battled for the UFC’s 205-pound title. Shamrock won by submission due to strikes near the end of the fourth round, then retired from the UFC with a perfect 5-0 record in the organization.

Zuffa has filed a motion for preliminary injunction against Randy Couture, with a hearing date set for March 4th. The injunction will likely be focused on preventing Couture from making further breaches of the non-compete agreement in his employment contract.

— Though most Canadian provinces have given MMA their blessing, the sport is totes unkosher in Ontario.

— I just finished eating some thai food. It wasn’t bad.

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Tito Ortiz Won’t Win ‘Celebrity Apprentice’

Jenna Jameson threw Tito Ortiz a surprise 33rd birthday party at the Las Vegas club CatHouse on Friday night, and RawVegas.tv‘s cameras were there. Check out the clip below, which reveals the following:

— An eerily reserved Mike Tyson says he’s finished with fighting.
— Troy “Rude Boy” Mandaloniz thinks Frank Mir will beat Brock Lesnar at UFC 81, but Ortiz is calling it for Brock by stoppage in the second round.
— When asked if he’ll make it to the finals on Celebrity Apprentice, the HBBB gives a long, meandering answer that culminates in “I lasted a long time.” Eh, we saw that coming.
— The UFC treats Ortiz “like shit.”
— Jameson revealed that her and Ortiz are trying to have kids (!), who Ortiz thinks will be “beautiful” (!!).
— Kendall Grove is officially going to be a father. “My shit works,” he says, drunk as hell.
— When Jenna is dancing on stage, people tend to forget about Tito.

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Tito Ortiz Accepts Machida Fight; Will Likely Be His Last for the UFC

TO

Tito Ortiz confirmed on Sirius’s Fight Network Radio yesterday that he has accepted a May 24th fight with undefeated light-heavyweight contender Lyoto Machida, but because of disputes over money and a lack of respect from the UFC’s top brass (sound familiar?), it will be his last for the organization:

Expecting a rematch with “The Ultimate Fighter 2” winner Rashad Evans, Ortiz (15-5-1) said he begrudgingly accepted the bout with the Japanese-Brazilian fighter who toppled PRIDE sensation Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou with a second-round submission at UFC 79 “Nemesis” on Dec. 29 in Las Vegas.

“I was expecting a bigger fight. I think the fans were expecting a bigger fight,” said Ortiz. “I got pressed into it, and all of a sudden, it’s all over the Internet that Tito Ortiz won’t fight Machida. I’m just looking to get my final fight over with the UFC.”

On the topics of money and respect, Ortiz was out for blood:

“They said I wasn’t worth the money. I was worth no more than what I’m getting paid now, and I’m not a commodity to them anymore. I’m not as viable to them anymore. That was a sign of disrespect…With Dana in charge, I don’t think [another title shot] will ever happen for me. Dana has bad blood for me and nothing but bad blood. They’re going to try and ruin me…[The UFC] could care less about the fighters. Fighters are a dime a dozen. They’ll keep coming. Dana is really out for himself and the company. He doesn’t give a s–t about the fighters.”

So let’s take it from the top. Ortiz’s desire for a re-match with Rashad Evans comes from a place of personal honor; he wants to avenge his draw against who he perceives as an inferior fighter. But if he thinks that another bout with Evans would be a “bigger fight” in terms of PPV buys/general hype than a fight against top contender Lyoto Machida, he is deluding himself. Fan interest lies with Machida now, not Evans — Ortiz fans will show up to his last UFC appearance no matter who he fights. Of course, neither opponent would pull in dollars like Ortiz’s bank-breaking wars with Chuck Liddell and Ken Shamrock, but Ortiz vs. Machida is the fight that UFC fans genuinely want to see.

Clearly this is more about looking good in his last fight. Though Ortiz could probably dominate Evans in a rematch, Machida has made everyone from Rich Franklin to Stephan Bonnar to Rameau Sokoudjou look stupid, and Ortiz isn’t the guy to figure out how to beat him. Unfortunately, Ortiz’s relationship with the UFC isn’t good enough for Dana White to hand him an easy win for his farewell performance; instead, he’s being used as a gatekeeper for the light-heavyweight division’s upper-echelon. Maybe now he wishes he hadn’t been such a pain in Dana White’s ass.

As for money, the Fight Network reports that Ortiz has made over $1 million per fight in his latest outings. (We’re guessing a large chunk of that comes from a percentage he receives from PPV revenue.) Ortiz is convinced he’s worth a lot more, but he’s drifting further and further from #1 contender status, and other guys are overtaking him, both in terms of talent and marketability. Quinton Jackson and Forrest Griffin have basically made Tito Ortiz obsolete. In other words, he’s not worth a lot more that a million per fight, and the UFC knows it. To some extent, Tito must know it too. Hence the hostility.

But Ortiz has to be careful with his words until that last fight is in the can. I doubt the UFC will try to road-block his involvement with other fight promotions to the extent that they’ll do to Randy Couture — as a beloved champion, Couture is more of a painful loss to the UFC than a loudmouthed aspiring actor on the downswing. But as we learned last week, if you make enough harmful statements in the press, you’ll have a lawsuit waiting for you.

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Tito Ortiz, Bas Rutten Star in ‘Fight Science’ Promo

We discussed the upcoming Fight Science series before, but now we have the promo video, which plugs the premiere episode; it airs Sunday at 8 p.m. on the National Geographic channel. Watch as Tito Ortiz demonstrates an elbow strike from the clinch, and how it might eff up a dude’s equilibrium. Huge boobs at 0:19! Bas Rutten saying “hooWoOO!” at 3:20!

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Serra/St. Pierre Official for April; Lyoto Machida Offered Fight Against Tito Ortiz

NBCSports’ Mike Chiappetta reports that Matt Serra and Georges St. Pierre will meet again in April. The welterweight match-up will be about a year after GSP lost to the now inflated Serra. As you may recall, Serra was to defend his belt against Matt Hughes at the recent UFC 79, but had to drop out due to injury. GSP promptly jumped at the chance to take on Hughes for a third time, beating him easily for the interim (aka, bullshit) welterweight title. Serra said his back is getting better and he’ll be ready in April.

The April event – possibly to be on the 19th – will be in Montreal, the first UFC event to be held in Canada.

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Omarosa Is a Despicable Bitch; Tiffany Fallon Is Fired First on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’

Tiff

90% of my interest in watching NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice was dashed last night, thanks to the conniving, under-the-bus-throwing ways of Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, the most awful person ever featured on network television.

The season premiere involved a hot dog-selling contest, where the celebs (divided by gender) did battle to raise the most money for charity. Manigault-Stallworth quickly established herself as the biggest, dumbest asshole in room, demanding to be team leader and crafting a plan that involved pushing the hot dogs rather than their celebrity star power. Obviously, the guys dominated, and OMS scrambled to find a fall girl.

She found her mark in poor, sweet Tiffany, who was blamed for not fully exploiting her sex appeal or hitting up Hugh Hefner for money. The former Playmate of the Year was given the show’s first pink slip, thus reducing the show’s remaining eye-candy to Carol Alt (too old) and Jennie Finch (too softball player-ish).

Tito Ortiz (who represented the remaining 10% of my interest in this show) got a small amount of screen time in the episode, sparring with Lennox Lewis to draw interest in his team’s hot dog stand, and posing with girlfriend Jenna Jameson as she stopped by to suck down some meat for charity. “Anything for my man,” she said — quite a woman, that Jenna.

Also, Mike Huckabee and Barack Obama won something or other last night, but I wasn’t really paying attention.

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BREAKING: Tito Ortiz Shot Dead While Trying to Protect Kidnapped Family

I know, I didn’t hear about this either! But apparently there was a Turkish movie released last year called Kurtlar Vadisi Irak (“Valley of the Wolves Iraq”), about a group of Turkish soldiers who try to get revenge for a series of atrocities committed by Americans during the occupation of Iraq, and Tito Ortiz was in it. He’s actually the only American character with a conscience; the film also stars Billy Zane as a sadistic Army commander and Gary Busey as a Jewish-American doctor who harvests organs from injured Iraqi prisoners to sell to rich people in New York, London and Tel Aviv. In one scene (shown below), the survivors of a raid on an Arab wedding are being driven to Abu Ghraib prison via shipping container, when Ortiz’s character complains that the captives may be suffocating. His partner shoots the container full of air holes. When Ortiz threatens to report to incident, he is shot. Watch, if you must:

With a budget of $10.2 million, Kurtlar was the most expensive Turkish film ever made, and it was a box-office hit. To put that in perspective, the most expensive American film ever produced was Spider-Man 3, which had a budget of $258 million. So, nice try Turkey, but you’re not even close! Holla when you can hang with the big dogs…

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