Bang-up job in the comments section this week, Potato Nation. You’ve inspired us to give away some t-shirts — but whose smart-ass contributions are worthy of being rewarded? Well…

(Tito and Jenna minutes before being banned for life by Chuck E. Cheese.)

Well, it’s official: Broadway doesn’t discriminate against people with no acting or singing experience who used to be paid to have sex.

According to the New York Post, former porn star and current common-law wife of former UFC light heavyweight champion Tito Ortiz, Jenna Jameson is in the running for the role of strip club owner Justice in the New York-based rock musical, "Rock of Ages."

In her defense, she did convince everybody that Tito beat the shit out of her, then had us all believe that it was all a big misunderstanding and that her injured arm was her fault and not The Huntington Beach Badboy’s.

According to Jameson, who was to meet with the show’s producers today, playing the role of a former stripper will be easy, considering she can be very believable when she talks about Tito being the best fighter ever and becoming a UFC champion again some day.

"I’m meeting with the producers [today], and I just hope I have enough talent to carry the role. We are talking about a run that would be anything from a month to three months, and it could start very soon."I think I’m perfect for the role, and I am really looking forward to becoming a New Yorker."

If she gets the role, I predict Jenna leaves the kids with Tito, moves to NY and hooks up with a co-star like 90% of married actors and he will blame the situation on an injury he suffered while single-parenting.

What will the MMA world do without Jennito?

("I know, I know…he just seemed so *real*, that’s all.")

After going on Inside MMA to claim that deaf people are easier to knock out because of their soft heads and poor "equilibium" [sic], Tito Ortiz recently took to his Twitter page to offer this retraction:

"I want to apologize to the deaf community for the remarks I made about Matt [Hamill] it was uncalled for. He is a good fighter and I was out of line."

An apology certainly helps, but to fully settle this matter, MMA Junkie enlisted their medical columnist Dr. Johnny Benjamin to answer the question once and for all. And man, Dr. Johnny didn’t spare anybody’s feelings. Here’s what he had to say:

"This is a difficult question to answer – not because it has any basis in fact but because it is difficult to stay professional and not attack the character of a person who makes such ignorant statements.

(They were polar opposites with hearts of gold and a weakness for terrible chest tattoos.)

If you didn’t catch today’s UFC 121 press conference, you didn’t miss a whole hell of a lot more than the usual answers to the usual questions, but there were a few interesting tidbits revealed by UFC president Dana White including that he will be travelling to New York tomorrow to discuss some movement in the sanctioning of MMA in the hold-out state and the fact that he considered giving Jake Shields a title shot in his first UFC fight based on his record and accomplishments outside the Octagon.

Reflecting off of another, "Do you see MMA in the Olympics in the future?" question he was lobbed at the presser, White explained that things in New York are "moving faster than [he] could have imagined" and that he will be meeting with some unnamed individuals in that regard on Thursday.

As is tradition during UFC fight week, the major players of UFC 121 are about to assemble for a public press conference at the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles. Beginning at 5 p.m. ET / 2 p.m. PT, Brock Lesnar, Cain Velasquez, Jake Shields, Martin Kampmann, Tito Ortiz, Matt Hamill, and Dana White will be fielding questions from the media. You can watch the proceedings in the UFC’s media player, which is waiting for you after the jump. And if you need any more help in getting hyped up for this event, be advised that Spike TV will be airing UFC 116: Lesnar vs. Carwin tonight at 7 p.m., followed by the third and final episode of UFC Primetime: Lesnar vs. Velasquez at 9:30 p.m. 

(We know that expression. Looks like somebody needs a James Toney upset to hit their $42,500 parlay bet. Check out more exclusive photos at FightMagazine.com’s UFC 118 photo gallery.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

– After Perfect Performance at UFC 118, More Tests Await Edgar (Versus MMA Beat)

– Kenny Florian Says Dana White Is ‘Dead Wrong’ About Him ‘Choking In Big Fights’ (MMA Convert)

- Wanderlei Silva Recovering, Hoping for February Return vs. Leben or Belfort (MMA Fighting)

– Roger Huerta vs. Eddie Alvarez set for non-title fight at Bellator 33 (Heavy.com/MMA)

– Mark "The Smashing Machine" Kerr now sells cars in Scottsdale, Arizona. (MiddleEasy)

– Fan Opinon: Top 10 Personalities in MMA (LowKick)

– Tito Ortiz and Shaquille O’Neal face off at the UFC Fan Expo in Boston (Watch Kalib Run)

– Brett Rogers to Return Against Ruben "Warpath" Villareal Next Month in Halifax (Five Ounces of Pain)

– If Don Frye Says You Should Watch Shark Fights, You Should (MMA Scraps)

(Props: YouTube.com/PrivateMichael104)

The story of Tito Ortiz getting punched out by convicted bank robber Lee Murray during an alleyway altercation after UFC 38 has grown into one of MMA’s most beloved bits of folklore. The most famous version — relayed second-hand from a drunken Pat Miletich and published in Matt Hughes’s autobiography Made in America — ends with Tito Ortiz getting starched by "like, a five-punch combo," then boot-stomped.

On this Friday’s installment of Michael Schiavello’s HDNet interview series The Voice Vs…, Ortiz gets to tell his side of the tale. Basically, it was Ortiz’s friend that was getting stomped, and when Murray dropped Ortiz with a punch it was more of slip then anything else, and that only happened after Murray was running away like a little bitch, and Tito was able to pop back up anyway. As Tito explains, "I was never unconscious at the time, in my whole career I’ve never been unconscious, and I never will go unconscious." Also, Lee Murray’s robbery conviction was karmic revenge for this embarrassing story being spread around.

No mention of the best part of the Ortiz vs. Murray street fight legend, which involved Chuck Liddell knocking multiple dudes out with his back against a wall. Where were you back then, TMZ?

(Video courtesy InsideMMA)

Just when you thought you had heard the most ridiculous thing come of Tito Ortiz’s mouth, "The Huntington Beach Badboy" goes and steps in front of a camera and raises the bar to new heights.

On the latest edition of Inside MMA, which will air Friday night at 9:00 p.m. ET, Ortiz explains the differences between the anatomy of the head of a deaf person, like his UFC 121 opponent Matt Hamill compared to that of someone who isn’t hearing impaired. 

We feel just awful that we don’t do this every week, but you guys deserve some CagePotato t-shirts for all the hard work you’ve been putting in lately. The first honoree is Brooklyn-based artist Patrick Francisco, who e-mailed us some MMA-themed highlights from his body of work, including the above interpretation of Chuck Liddell painted onto a vinyl toy. We thought it was worth sharing, so thanks Patrick.

As for the rest of the winners, we’ll just pick a few of the recent comments about how boring Jake Shields is. (Ed. Note: CagePotato.com doesn’t necessarily agree that Jake Shields is a boring fighter, but we can appreciate a good one-liner.) Here we go…

(Jon Fitch: Giving fans their money’s worth, in every way possible.)

He may not have reached Antonio McKee levels* yet, but Jon Fitch has certainly attracted an unwanted reputation for taking fights to the scorecards. When he faces Thiago Alves at UFC 117, he has the opportunity to break the record for most decision fights in the Octagon by an active UFC fighter. (Update: And he’s done it.) Check out the list below to see who’s currently leading the UFC in fights that go the distance. As with our performance bonus leaderboard, we’ll update this thing whenever possible; if we’ve missed any names that should be on the list, please let us know in the comments section…

Fighters With 11 Decisions in the UFC
Jon Fitch: 9-1-1 in those fights

Fighters With 10 Decisions in the UFC
Diego Sanchez: 7-3; last three fights have gone to decision
Tyson Griffin: 6-4
Tito Ortiz: 5-4-1
Sam Stout: 5-5

(Props: dragonman34)

"UFC made the decision. I was bummed. I love Matt, I think he’s an awesome athlete, I think he’s an awesome person, but his time’s not now. You won’t see any shit-talking from me about Matt Hamill because I think he’s an awesome guy. But it’ll even make it a better fight when it comes October 23rd, when I cave his face in. No bad feelings. No bad emotions. Just punishment, and that’s what it’s about. So, we’ll see. October 23rd. As I look to beat down Matt Hamill. In a nice way. For once."

So says Tito Ortiz, after signing the contract to face his former pupil Matt Hamill at UFC 121. As he explains, his past dealings with Chuck Liddell taught him that business and competition should always come before friendship. But is the world ready for a trash-talk-free Tito? The oddsmakers currently have him as a solid +145 underdog in this match, which feels about right. As Ortiz has gone 0-3-1 since December 2006, he may need to score an upset to keep his job…

("Time it was and what a time it was…")

Contradicting earlier reports that had Tito Ortiz facing Forrest Griffin in a meaningless rubber match, MMAFighting.com has confirmed that Ortiz will instead face off against Matt Hamill at UFC 121 (October 23rd; Anaheim, CA). The Huntington Beach Blah Blah hasn’t competed since his split decision loss to Griffin at UFC 106, and hasn’t won a fight since his third TKO victory over Ken Shamrock in October 2006. Hamill is coming off his majority decision over Keith Jardine at the TUF 11 Finale, which got the Dean of Mean bounced out of the UFC. Technically, Hamill has won his last four fights, including the Jon Jones DQ. If you’ll recall, Hamill was a member of Team Punishment on TUF 3, so this fight will have extra significance when Hamill beats Tito’s ass. In other UFC 121 booking news…

Cage Potato vs. Forrest Griffin – Watch more Funny Videos

We caught up with Forrest Griffin at the MMA Expo last month in Toronto (before news of his rumored third match-up with Tito Ortiz at UFC 121 was leaked) and we spoke with the former UFC light heavyweight champ about a variety of topics including returning from his shoulder injury, the possibility of facing Lyoto Machida, his new book and how dirty he feels after shaking hands with fans and signing autographs all day. 

(Video courtesy YouTube/SenseiSPORTV)

Tito Ortiz recently appeared on Brazilian television show Sensei SPORTV and proclaimed himself the "Muhammad Ali of mixed martial arts." If by that he means he’s past his prime and is suffering from the effects of too many shots to the head, then we agree wholeheartedly.

("I pity the fool who makes fun of my scarf and inability to ignore the camera.")

It didn’t take Quinton Rampage Jackson long after his unanimous decision loss to Rashad Evans at UFC 114 to pull a Tito Ortiz. Just two and a half weeks after the bout and Rampage has already formulated his own "cracked skull" defense.

(Who’d you rather…punch?)

Apparently Jamie Yager doesn’t much like being called a quitter.

After watching last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter 11, in which his coach Tito Ortiz called him a quitter for failing to answer the bell in the third round in his quarterfinal match-up with Josh Bryant, The Chosyn 1 jumped on Twitter to voice his displeasure with The Huntington Beach Badboy’s two-facedness.

(Yager vs. Bryant, part 1; part 2 is at the end of the post. Props: KARELMMA)

Tito Ortiz has pulled out of his fight with Chuck Liddell, and the Iceman is a shadowboxing ball of anger, capable only of saying the word pussy. "That fucking pussy, I told you he was gonna do this," Chuck vents to Dana. "Don’t let that guy fight anymore, he’s a pussy…unless I can fight him, then it’s a different story." Meanwhile, Tito just sits in the next room, listening to Chuck go off about him. Tito on adversity: "I guess it’s God seeing what type of person I am." You don’t need God to figure that out, you pussy.

The last quarterfinal match is high-kickin’ afroninja Jamie Yager (Team Punishment) vs. wrestling specialist Josh Bryant (Team Liddell). Uscola shouts out Yager’s talent and speed, but the most obvious advantage is his size — he dwarfs Bryant, who has to be a natural welterweight. Yager is 2-1 as a pro, while Bryant is a perfect 10-0. Yager is expecting Bryant to shoot, shoot, shoot. Bryant clarifies: "My game plan is to hit him first…then take him down." Y’all ready for the best fight of the season?

("Oh Tito, I knew you’d come around.")

BBC News is reporting that former UFC middleweight fighter-turned bank robber, Lee Murray was sentenced to ten years in prison in Morocco for his part in an armed £53,116,760 (about $92.5 million US) Securitas money depot heist in Kent, England in February 2006.

*Disclaimer: This video is somewhat disgusting and features footage of  surgery being performed.
(Video courtesy of YouTube/PunishmentFilms)

Well, if Tito really is faking his neck injury, he went to a lot of trouble to make it seem believable. In the video above, Ortiz explains that the surgery was necessary and that even though he lost his coaching gig to Rich Franklin with only two weeks remaining in filming of The Ultimate Fighter, he says he would take the same road if he had to do it all over again.

If you have a weak stomach or are reading this as you eat your lunch at work, you may not want to watch this video. I know I’m no doctor, but I don’t think a surgeon should work on a spine with a hammer, pliers, a screwdriver and a chisel. Just sayin’.

(Gif of Tavares getting kicked in the "chest," courtesy of smoogy.)

Kris McCray vs. Kyle Noke. Brad Tavares vs. Seth Baczynski. Tito Ortiz vs. Everyone’s Patience. Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter was a wall-to-wall struggle. Here’s what happened.

After Team Liddell’s Court McGee became the first TUF 11 semi-finalist, following his submission of James Hammortree, it’s time for two more quarterfinal matches. First up is Kris McCray vs. Kyle Noke, two guys who used to be training partners. Dana White cares not for your personal relationships: "One of the things I want these guys to learn early? There are no friends in the UFC."

Tito Ortiz might be looking at neck surgery. There’s a disc pressing on his spinal cord, which is causing numbness in his legs and daily headaches, among other symptoms. He’s not going to let Chuck beat him because he wasn’t 100%. Instead of fighting injured and jeopardizing his health, he wants to get this taken care of. It’s basically the same story we heard last week from Nick Ring, who by the way, is out of the competition for one day and already has a full-on Freddie Mercury ‘stache.

Noke has two inches in height, 4.5 inches in reach, and a hell of a lot more fights under his belt than McCray. It’s time to bang.

(Oh, Jenna. When will you learn?)

You’ll all be happy to know that Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson are now officially free to go on with their trainwreck life together now that the Orange County District Attorney’s office has decided to close their case without laying charges against the former UFC light heavyweight champion for the highly publicized April 26 fight between the pair at their Huntington Beach home.

("Okay, fine, I abused her *this* much.")

From a new report on Sherdog:

Tito Ortiz and longtime girlfriend Jenna Jameson appear to be on the road to some form of reconciliation following an incident Monday that led to the fighter’s arrest and later accusations of the former adult star’s alleged drug use…

Ortiz’s lawyer, Chip Matthews, told Sherdog.com on Friday that the entire incident was just a “misunderstanding.” Matthews also said it was his understanding that statements made by Ortiz and Jameson on Monday to officers during his arrest would either be altered or retracted by the parties, as was first reported by TMZ.com on Thursday.

“Both sides are interested in the truth coming out and for the welfare of their children and bringing an end to this,” Matthews told Sherdog.com on Friday. Matthews would not confirm if Ortiz and Jameson are in direct communication due to the ongoing investigation…

(For the next few weeks, "Comments of the Week" winners will score subscriptions to our favorite MMA-rag, Fight! Magazine. Follow Fight! on Twitter, and pick up the latest issue on newsstands now. Pictured above: "Gens" himself.)

There are some people in this world who are so socially inept and abrasive in real life that they can only function on the Internet, relying on non-relationships with total strangers via message boards and blog comments. And then, there are some people who can’t even do that right. Such is the case with "thisredengine," a truly bizarre individual who showed up here out of the blue on Tuesday, and immediately tried to impress all of you by claiming the following:

– He’s pretty well-known and respected over at BloodyElbow.com, and regularly tweets with Leland Roling. He’s pretty much an unofficial staffer there.
– MMA legend "Gens" Pulver once acknowledged something he wrote.
– He’s a jet-setting world traveler, on account of his job.
– He considers himself "one of the cool kids in the MMA community."
– He considers himself and BE’s Luke Thomas to be "a level above most in MMA conversations." The readers of this site would not be able to hang on his conversation-level.
– He ignores all comments from people he doesn’t know, which on this site would be everybody.

Though many of us (including myself) begged him to fuck off and leave us alone, he refused to fuck off. And so, new contributor ReX13 hit him with what will go down in history as the "I Have a Dream" speech of CagePotato.com…

(Unfortunately for the fan, Tito couldn’t sign the autograph because he couldn’t see how to spell his last name.)

While watching The Ultimate Fighter on Wednesday night, something that caught my eye and made me do a double take was the "Team Punishment" shirt Tito was wearing and how closely it resembled the "Team Ortiz" shirts fighters on his squad were sporting.

I figured they must be made by the same company as a package as part of the show branding. Well it turns out I was wrong.

(I was going to say "work it out for the kids," but for God’s sake, look at those little monsters. You’re better off putting them in an orphanage and cutting your losses at this point.)

Casting doubt on Tito Ortiz‘s claim that baby-momma Jenna Jameson "relapsed" on OxyContin, TMZ reports that Jameson tested clean for 10 major drugs the day after their little domestic abuse misunderstanding:

We’ve learned the results of the test, administered Tuesday by American Toxicology Inc. in Las Vegas, show Jenna’s urine tested "negative" for the ten major drugs they were screening for, a list that included cocaine, weed, meth and oxycodone — the major ingredient in OxyContin…Now, after receiving the results of the test, Jenna is reaffirming her claim telling us, "I am definitely not addicted to OxyContin or any drug.”

(Hey Jamie, what did you think of Precious?)

We’re halfway through the round-of-16, and the guys are looking a little beat up. Clayton McKinney is out for a couple months with a shoulder injury that he has to get surgery for. The recently-smashed Charles Blanchard is also injured, and says he’s in no condition to beat anybody. (Not that he was when he was healthy, but whatever.) And of course Rich Attonito is sidelined with a broken hand. Which begs the question: Is anybody going to be well enough to compete in the wild-card match? James Hammortree and Kyacey Uscola seem like they’ll qualify by default — but two more guys may need to come back to fight for Rich’s spot as well. Maybe we’ll meet one of them tonight.

Tito has control, finally, and chooses Kris "Savage" McCray to go up against Team Liddell’s Josh Bryant. McCray and Bryant have a lot in common, even if Josh doesn’t "look or act" like a fighter. First off, they’re both undefeated. Bryant is a perfect 10-0 professionally, while McCray is 5-0 as a pro and 4-0 in amateur competition. They also had less-than-ideal childhoods. Bryant mentions that he didn’t get along with his stepfather (or mom, for that matter), and moved out as soon as he could. Later, McCray says he’s afraid of no man, except his father when he was younger, but they have a good relationship now. I’m guessing their relationship changed as soon as Kris got big enough to kick his dad’s ass.

But there are also some obvious differences between the two fighters. While McCray looks like a true middleweight, Bryant is another one of those guys who could easily be competing at welterweight. And while Bryant is your garden-variety white dude, "Minority Report" member McCray is Austrian, black, and Mexican, an ethnic mixture that most people mistake for Puerto Rican until he starts speaking German.

(Do a shot every time Tito’s attorney says "unfortunately." Video courtesy of KTLA via MMA Weekly.)

Directly after being released by the Huntington Beach Police Department yesterday on $25,000 bail, Tito Ortiz and his attorney Chip Matthews organized a news conference in North Hollywood to address his domestic assault charges. Their side of the story goes like this: Ortiz "never laid a hand on" his girlfriend Jenna Jameson. Jameson, an OxyContin addict for over a year (so they say), relapsed on the notorious painkiller, and when Tito confronted her about some pills that he’d found in their house, things got heated. After he left, she contacted the police department through another individual; her father Larry Massoli, reportedly. An emotional Ortiz thanked his fans and family for their support. He said he saw his parents go through addiction, and wouldn’t let it affect his family again. "I hold everything dear to my heart that Jenna will be okay," he said.

Of course, Jenna’s account of what transpired is markedly different…

(Dana White and Tito Ortiz during happier times)

UFC president Dana White was contacted this afternoon by TMZ to enquire about whether or not Tito Ortiz would likely be let go from the promotion due to the felony domestic violence charges that were laid against "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy" stemming from an alleged assault on his girlfriend Jenna Jameson this morning. 

(Video courtesy TMZ.com)

Jenna Jameson is asked by a TMZ reporter if she plans to press charges against her longtime boyfriend, former UFC light heavyweight champion Tito Ortiz, for allegedly assaulting her in their Huntington Beach, CA home earlier today, to which she replies, "Of course."

When asked by the cameraman about what transpired that morning, Jenna said she couldn’t talk about it, but reassured him that, both she and her twin 13-month-old boys would be fine.

"Everything is okay," Jameson said. "He’s in jail."

Video of Ortiz’s arrest after the jump.

(Ortiz and Jameson in happier times)

TMZ is reporting the injury-plagued UFC light heavyweight Tito Ortiz has been arrested for felony domestic assault and is en-route to jail in Orange County, CA.

Police responded to a 911 call at the home that Ortiz and longtime girlfriend Jenna Jameson share with their twin sons. According to the report, sheriff’s deputies noted "visible injuries" on Jameson, prompting the arrest of "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy."

We’ll have more as details become available.