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Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

Tag: tomato cans

Behold, The Worst MMA T-Shirt of All Time. OF ALL TIME.


(Yes, this is a real shirt, and not a cut-scene from Leisure Suit Larry.)

Today’s jumping spinning hook-kick knockout video raised a couple of uncomfortable questions. For instance: Isn’t XFS the same promotion that was plagued by a record-padding scandal earlier this year? And why was one of the cage posts advertising something called Tomato Can MMA?

The answers to both questions are reflected in the atrocious t-shirt you see above. As a tongue-in-cheek reference to its notorious use of jobbers and palookas, the Xplode Fight Series has launched a charity drive called “Tomato Can MMA,” in which it will (allegedly) donate a can of food to a food bank or homeless shelter for every one of its “Melons” t-shirts that are purchased. (Just $19.99 plus $4.95 shipping!) As you read these words, there’s a homeless guy in Escondido farting out two cans’ worth of sauerkraut, all thanks to the philanthropic souls at XFS.

This is the worst MMA-related t-shirt in history, hands down. The phrase on the shirt — “Don’t let my melons get in the way of your CANS!” — is cringe-worthy, and basically incoherent when you think about it. (Although I do like the ironic usage of the trademark symbol, as if anybody would steal any of this.) Obviously, the message is printed in comic sans, beloved font of dull children and sociopaths.

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Herschel Walker to Fight Another Guy No One has Ever Heard Of


("I asked Scott Coker to find me a couple of cans, but this is ridiculous." Hi-yo! Rimshot! Goddamn it, I’m really sorry about that one, you guys … PicProps: CombatLifestyle)

So, let me get this straight: Herschel Walker’s opponent at next month’s Strikeforce show is a 40-year-old light heavyweight who took 10 years off from fighting to nurse a back injury and then in June got knocked out in the first round of his “comeback” fight at an event called “MEZ Sports” in Los Angeles? Well, that’s just super.

Look, I’ve got no beef at all with this dude Scott Carson. Frankly, if you’re an unknown fighter who gets offered the chance to take on a celebrity like Walker on the televised portion of a Strikeforce card, you pretty much have to take that deal. Hell, you might even win. Suffice it to say, however, that none of Carson’s previous five fights can be found on YouTube – probably because most of them occurred before YouTube was invented – and a Google search for his image only turns up a bunch of pictures of  the goalkeeper for West Bromwich Albion. So I have to ask: What are we really doing here, Strikeforce?  What do we hope to accomplish with this, besides the possibility of netting two or three minutes of airtime from Jim Rome or Colin Cowherd the week of the fight? I mean c’mon, even Kimbo Slice had the decency to fight people we’d sort of heard of before.

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