(Vitor anxiously waits to find out what kinds of drugs he’ll be testing.)

Trying to get Vitor Belfort to issue a clear statement about his relationship with testosterone replacement therapy has been pretty much impossible over the past few months. So far, what we know is that the thirty-five year old Brazilian – who has failed a drug test in the past – was granted a TUE for TRT prior to his UFC on FX 7 victory over Michael Bisping, but none of that matters because when you judge people, it sounds like you are a god and freedom and privacy and all that other fun stuff. Not that I’m trying to sound like a god or anything, but shady, evasive non-answers like these are one of the many reasons that Dana White has recently promised to crack down on TRT usage.

Yet at a press conference for UFC on FX 8, Belfort gave the reporters on hand a straightforward answer about his usage, claiming not only that he tests himself regularly to ensure that his levels stay within the acceptable range, but also that the UFC has always known about his usage. Via Tatame:

“The UFC always knew that I use, do not do it to cheat. I have medical monitoring and UFC also accompanies it. Never broken through anything, always acted cleanly. Do blood tests every week to equal the testosterone levels of a person my age. Many people are averse to treatment. I am not. I am in favor of people being open and fair in what they are doing.”

(“HYPOGONADISM BITCH, ALL DAY!” / Photo via Esther Lin @ MMAFighting)

Though his job appeared to be safe following his UFC 157 decision loss to Brendan Schaub, pissing dirty for steroids turned out to be the kiss of death for heavyweight Lavar “Big” Johnson. In light of his failed drug test, Johnson has been cut by the UFC. In addition, the California State Athletic Commission has hit him with a nine-month suspension, as well as a fine of “around $1,250″ that reflects the cost of the two tests the CSAC used for his drug screening.

MMAJunkie adds some more surprising details about what led to Johnson’s PED bust:

An elevated testestosterone-to-epitestosterone (T/E) ratio of 6.6-to-1 triggered a carbon isotope ratio (CIR) test that confirmed Johnson had testosterone in his system that was “was consistent with the administration of a steroid.” Johnson, though, admitted he was undergoing testosterone replacement therapy in a recent conversation with the California State Athletic Commission, which oversaw the Feb. 23 pay-per-view event at Honda Center in Anaheim, Calif., and suspended him based on the results of his test. Johnson failed to disclose TRT on a pre-fight medical questionnaire. A rep for AKA said the fighter may seek an exemption for the treatment.

Here’s how you know TRT is nothing more than a bullshit cheating-method — when a dude who looks like this claims to need it, and then avoids mentioning it during his pre-fight medicals. Ah well. You can’t say the UFC didn’t warn you. In other UFC drug-bust aftermath news…

Fightweets: What if Nick Diaz Wins at UFC 158? (MMAFighting)

UFC 158 Gifathon: GSP, Diaz, Condit, and More! (BloodyElbow)

Nick Diaz and the Ten Most Disrespectful Fighters Ever (BleacherReport)

UFC on FUEL TV 10 Fight Card for Nogueira vs. Werdum II (FightDay)

Dana White wants athletic commission to ban TRT (Reddit_MMA)

If He Beats Aaron Simpson, Josh Burkman Wants WSOF Title Shot (Sherdog)

10 Vintage Pics of Pure “WTF?!” (Break)

Athletes Who Joined Their Sworn Enemy (Complex)

Killer Fries In Association With VH1′s “Wicked Single” Is Giving Away Free T-Shirts (KillerFries)

Eastern Practices to Boost Your Western Workout (MensFitness)

11 Videos of Children Stoned After Anesthesia (EgoTV)

Man Life: The Relationship Cash and Fulfillment (DoubleViking)

The Ultimate Skateboarding Fails Compilation (WorldWideInterweb)

(“I don’t really get what this whole TRT debate is even about, Vitor. As if my thyme-roasted tilapia is the sole ingredient behind your success.”) 

Although testosterone replacement therapy hasn’t been a topic of debate for all that long in the MMA world, it has more than worn out its welcome with the sport’s fans and more than a few fighters to boot. It’s been criticized so much that even Dana White has flip-flopped on the issue, now vowing to “test the shit” out of fighters on TRT out of fear that they will abuse it. The general dislike for this newfangled “therapy” is only intensified when it involves past steroid abusers like say Vitor Belfort, who tested positive for 4-Hydroxytestosterone following his Pride 32 loss to Dan Henderson in 2006.

As you surely recall, Belfort was granted a TUE for TRT prior to his UFC on FX 7 victory over Michael Bisping. Although most of us were willing to give “The Phenom” a pass for that event because he was able to shut up Michael Bisping for a minute or two, it looks like NSAC Executive Director Keith Kizer will not be so lenient should Belfort and past dopers like him fight in Nevada any time soon:

I don’t see Vitor Belfort getting a TRT exemption from us. I really don’t and I feel kind of bad for him in some ways because if he has learned from his mistakes and now he’s trying to do it the right way and his levels are low with the treatment good for him and I hope he is doing that. 

Opinions that fans and pundits have on testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) and its place in MMA are about as varied as the search engine terms that brought you here. With Dana White promising to “test the shit out of” fighters on testosterone replacement therapy to Vitor Belfort lashing out at his critics on Twitter over his own TRT usage, we’ve seen two different extremes over the course of this weekend alone. It’s a complicated issue that has many different ways of being interpreted; possibly none of which are entirely right or wrong by themselves. With that in mind, here’s an attempt at condensing the plethora of opposing views on the issue into nine different ways to look at it, arranged in no particular order.

1.) It’s Incredibly Dangerous For Both Fighters Involved.

Perhaps the most common criticism I’ve heard and read regarding testosterone replacement therapy in MMA is that it makes an already dangerous occupation even more hazardous. This is easy to observe through the perspective of the user’s opponent. It’s one thing if Barry Bonds wants to hit longer home runs, or if Hedo Turkoglu wants to flop harder — their opponents are not physically hurt by their actions in either example. However, if an MMA fighter takes testosterone to become more aggressive and punch harder, the likelihood of his opponent suffering irreparable brain damage increases dramatically.

Often neglected, however, are the additional long-term risks that the TRT user opens himself up to. Testosterone may make a fighter faster and stronger, but it doesn’t exactly undo brain damage. Prolonging a fighter’s physical prime also elongates the amount of time he’s receiving blows to the head. Imagine if boxers like Meldrick Taylor and Riddick Bowe – who showed signs of dementia pugilistica by the ends of their careers yet didn’t retire until they couldn’t stay in shape — had access to testosterone replacement therapy. Giving aging fighters the illusion that they can keep taking shots to the head because they’re still in good physical condition is bound to end in disaster.

2.) TRT Isn’t Nearly The Advantage It’s Made Out to Be.

(Photo via MMAOpinion)

Ever since it began making headlines thanks to Chael Sonnen and Nate Marquardt, testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) has been one of the most controversial topics in MMA. To some, it’s medically-sanctioned cheating — a legal loophole that allows giant killing machines to have even more firepower in their quest to injure their opponents. To others, it’s…uh…well, it’s a freedom country, so why even discuss it?

But although UFC president Dana White has flip-flopped on TRT in the past, he’s finally made up his mind, and fortunately, he’s coming down on the right side of the issue. While in London for UFC on FUEL 7, White came out strongly against the practice, blasting fighters who abuse hormone therapy to jack up their testosterone levels during training. Here’s what he had to say following the Barao vs. McDonald weigh-ins:

“TRT has become a way for people to cheat. If this is what your normal level should be and then you have guys training at huge levels (of testosterone) for their whole camp then tapering down to get to normal levels before the fucking fight, that’s cheating, and I don’t like it anymore.”

“There are plenty of guys in the UFC that are naturally gifted and talented fighters. If you’re testosterone levels are too low then you’re probably too old to be fighting, stop fighting!”

“We can test everybody. I’m telling you right now, if you are using testosterone replacement therapy, get ready motherfuckers because we’re going to test the shit out of you.”

(Image via CombatLifestyle)

Fight bookings continue to dominate the MMA headlines, Potato Nation. Fortunately for us, it looks like 2013 will be a year where at least half of these announced fights actually make it to the cards they were originally intended to be on.

Although the matchup was hinted at a few weeks ago, both Vitor Belfort and Luke Rockhold vehemently denied that a bout between them was anywhere near a done deal. In fact, the final Strikeforce middleweight champ even went as far as to call out Costa Philippou for his promotional debut, a move that seems like a classic bait and switch in hindsight. In either case, it has been announced that Belfort and Rockhold will indeed be facing off next at a yet-to-be-named event in Brazil, go figure.

Belfort is fresh off a second round destruction of Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7 that was first attributed to an omniscient higher power but later revealed to be at least partially influenced by the highest power of them all (other than bath salts, of course): testosterone. Rockhold, on the other hand, was scheduled to face Lorenz Larkin at Strikeforce’s once-named Champions event last month, but was forced to pull out from the fight with a wrist injury. Or as Lorenz would call it, a “wrist injury.”

(Remember the good old days? Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

No, there is absolutely nothing sarcastic about the title of this article. Michael Bisping, who has the ability to sound like a total asshole even while saying things that many fans agree with, has respectfully released a statement on a hot-button issue. He has managed to disagree with other side without playing the role of a cocky British stereotype. I’m being dead serious.

On Friday, Bisping took to his website to release an official statement about Vitor Belfort’s testosterone replacement therapy usage for their fight at UFC on FX 7. As you may remember, following the event there was much speculation that Belfort may have failed his drug test due to information being leaked that one of the fighters from the card pissed hot. Even though the news regarding the actual fighter who failed his drug test turned out to be rather anti-climactic (read: not Belfort), many people feel that TRT has no place in MMA, including Michael Bisping.

Here’s his official statement, in all of it’s non-dickish glory:

(Hey, you can’t blame Vitor for following in the footsteps of his lord and savior.) 

File this one under “News that absolutely no one should be surprised about.”

We knew something had to be up from the moment Vitor Belfort gave his incoherent, rambling, Animal Farm-esque response when questioned about whether or not he had hopped on the TRT bandwagon currently sweeping through MMA. Either Belfort just really, really feared being ostracized from his future bridge group at the UFC retirement home — the Ultimate Fusspot CareCenter — or he was simply feeding the interviewer whatever thoughts he could string together whilst trying to find the nearest exit. And now that the drug test results for UFC on FX 7 have come back, the UFC would like you to know that Belfort was definitely doing the latter.

Earlier today, UFC officials confirmed that Belfort did in fact receive a therapeutic use exemption for testosterone replacement therapy in the weeks leading up to his main event bout against Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7. But fret not, for his post-fight test “did not indicate the presence of any prohibited substance for increasing performance improvement.” Thank de Jesus for that.

(Photo via esporte.uol.com.br)

After burying most of the UFC middleweight division in his last Yahoo! Sports column — including that poor, poor Chris Weidman, who has done nothing to deserve such rough treatment — angry MMA blogger Michael Bisping returned last night with his latest missive, which attacks pretty much every aspect of Vitor Belfort‘s character, from the Brazilian’s physical appearance, to his controversial history of rabbit-punching, to his Rex Ryan-esque affection for his wife’s feet. (Meanwhile, Belfort claims that talking trash is dangerous because it can infect the person doing the talking as much as it can hurt the target. Pffft, whatever!)

Here are some choice highlights from the Count’s latest blog, in order of brutality…

On embarrassing fetishes:
“A fan tweeted me a link to Vitor in some Brazilian reality TV show, a clip where he’s in a bath kissing someone’s feet. [Ed. note: In case you've somehow never seen this clip before, those feet belonged to Vitor's wife, Joana Prado.] It was pretty fruity stuff but, if he enjoyed sucking toes, he’s going to have the time of his life on January 19 because I’m going to kick him in the face all night long.” [Ed. note: You son of a bitch.]

On TRT and illegal punches:
“I’m thinking of asking Randy Couture if I can use him old nickname ‘the Natural’ just to make it clear I’m not one of these guys who is on TRT or any of that junk. Whenever someone asks me if I am on it, I give them a straight answer and if they ask me what I think of TRT I always say: ‘I think it is legalized cheating’…I don’t think it has a place in our sport and wish my opinion — and I think the majority of fans’ opinion — was shared by certain other fighters and the people who regulate our sport.

I was disappointed Vitor Belfort started talking in tongues when asked about TRT recently. He had a little more to say on Monday when he was asked directly about my concerns that all his recent UFC fights were won by illegal punches to the back of the head. In between lengthy references to the New Testament, Belfort basically said he doesn’t care if he hits opponents behind the head…

(Meanwhile in the Kingdom of Heaven, God continued to watch NASCAR. Photo courtesy of The Canadian Press/Nathan Denette)

Four months after his ill-fated light-heavyweight title bid against Jon Jones, Vitor Belfort will be returning to the UFC middleweight division on January 19th to face Michael Bisping in the main event of UFC on FX 7. Though he’s well into his 16th year of professional MMA competition, Belfort insists that he’s never felt so good in his entire life. Obviously, that particular fighter-cliche has become so overused that it’s virtually meaningless. But if the Phenom is telling the truth, maybe there’s a reason for it. And so, ESPN’s Brett Okamoto pointed out the elephant in the room during an interview published yesterday. Hilarity ensued:

ESPN: Some fighters in their 30s have been diagnosed with low testosterone levels and received exemptions to use testosterone replacement therapy [TRT]. Have you ever applied for TRT or would you consider it?

Belfort: If a question is private, I have the choice to answer or not. If I make it public, it’s not private anymore. If I want to say something private I will say it, but I keep to myself and I respect the laws of the sport. Whatever the organization, whatever the law — they know what to do. This is too controversial, why am I going to say something that doesn’t accomplish anything? If it’s legal, they know what to do. If it’s legal, there’s nothing to say about it. It’s legal.

Props: MMA Fan Made

By George Shunick

The UFC’s unofficial support for Testosterone Replacement Therapy may just have become more or less official. Because the Ontario Athletic Commission doesn’t engage in the pesky business of drug testing, responsibility falls to the UFC to do so. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and certainly the UFC’s own policies have caught fighters doping. But things are a little different now – fighters have a legal means of obtaining synthetic testosterone, the primary component of many anabolic steroids. The flipside of this is that they need to acquire a therapeutic use exemption in order to use TRT, which at least illuminates who is using the stuff to enhance their performance.

Or at least it would be illuminated if the UFC were to release the names of fighters who requested TUEs, which they are obligated to do when dealing with a commission that gives a damn about at the very least appearing to maintain some semblance of professionalism. Since Ontario’s athletic commission doesn’t happen to belong to that exclusive group, the UFC “can not disclose if a fighter on the UFC 152 card has requested a therapeutic use exemption (TUE) for testosterone replacement therapy (TRT).” [Emphasis added.]

(When Zuffa purchased the UFC, Dana White actually had hair. There is no punchline, just a fact worth mentioning.)

By Nathan Smith

I have purchased pay per views from the Ultimate Fighting Championship since 1994, where I was welcomed to the sport with Pat Smith turning the face of Scott Morris into a Manwich at UFC 2: No Way Out. It was like heroin after that – I was addicted. Since then, I estimate that I have shelled out well over $5000 on PPVs alone, much less another sizeable chunk of change on tickets to live events and the obligatory UFC merchandise (who can live without the life-sized GSP cardboard cut-out – NOT ME).

Throughout that time I have been an advocate of MMA to the uninformed masses that I’ve encountered at watering holes across this great land. For every, “That UFC shit is just a legalized bar fight” comment, I would swoop in like Dogwelder to defend the UFC and its competitors. It was almost a grass roots effort by the early UFC supporters to educate the ignorant and let them know that this is a real sport filled with unbelievably talented athletes. The edification continues today as many intelligent fans try to shun the perceived stigma that we are a bunch of tatted-up dudes wearing flat-billed TAPOUT hats and driving small-penis-compensating monster trucks while applying ring worm ointment to our wounds.

Then there was the figure-head, the fearless leader that was taking all the media scrutiny head-on and paving the way while holding up his middle finger to the man. After the ZUFFA purchase, Dana White was a perfect fit during the infancy of the UFC’s push towards legitimacy. Adopting rules and weight classes and marketing the shit out of the product culminated in a 7 year deal with FOX and its affiliates. Now the UFC is on the precipice of its fourth nationally televised FOX card and the ratings have plummeted from 5.7 million during UFC on FOX 1 (Cain Velasquez VS Junior Dos Santos) to 2.4 million during UFC on FOX 3 (Nate Diaz VS Jim Miller).

I don’t think it is a coincidence that viewership and PPV buys are down. I have always been a staunch supporter of the brand and even I, a die hard fan, am starting to see chinks in the UFC armor. The reasons have been dissected on CP with various posts but I believe that this is just the beginning of problems for the UFC unless some changes are made pronto. I am not saying that the UFC is in the toilet but as the organization has grown in stature from eviscerating the competition, a standard evolution needs to happen.

So with that in mind, here are five ways that the UFC can move from their current plateau all the way to the mountain top.

(Then again, it seems to be working out pretty well for Clay Guida so far.) 

Hell must have frozen over, because for once, we are in agreement with Dana White.

We’re not going to waste your time by recounting all of the endless press the issue of testosterone replacement therapy has received as of late, which would take us no less than twenty pages to complete. But needless to say, guys like Frank Mir are proving that damn near anyone can receive a therapeutic use exemption (TUE) for TRT if they are willing to fill out the proper paperwork, and we’ve only begun to see the amount of fighters who will likely begin to hop on that bandwagon as time goes on.

But with his win at UFC 148, Anderson Silva basically proved that a vicious knee trumps TRT nearly 100 percent of the time, a notion that the UFC President really wishes he could drive home in one way or another. White recently sat down with ESPN’s Todd Grisham to discuss everything from fighter pay rates to the absolute sack of horseshit that was the Manny Pacquiao/Timothy Bradley decision. Being the polarizing subject that TRT is, Grisham brought up the possibility of the UFC having two fighters currently using testosterone as champions, were Chael Sonnen to defeat Silva and Dan Henderson to defeat Jon Jones, and what White would think of that. And we gotta say, we were rather impressed with Dana’s level-headed response. It was almost as if he had considered both sides of the story, rather than lashing out with personal attacks at the first person to speak up about a slightly sensitive issue. Like we said, the sky must be falling.

A full video interview is below. 

(Four badasses…and Tim Tebow. / Click for full-size version. Props: TerezOwens)

- Michael Bisping Says Chael Sonnen Will Defeat Anderson Silva at UFC 148 (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Mike Tyson Says MMA Fighters Should Be Paid More, But Warns of Predatory ‘Scumbags’ (MMAFighting)

- Britney and Arianny’s Exclusive 4th of July Photo Shoot (The Chive)

- Video: Chael Sonnen Watches Himself Lose to Anderson Silva at UFC 117 (MMAMania)

- Chad Mendes Says Loss To Jose Aldo Helped Him, Discusses Aldo vs. Koch (Fightline)

- Strikeforce Champ Rousey Enlists Lucia Rijker as Striking Coach Ahead of Kaufman Bout (MMAJunkie)

- The Top 5 UFC Rematches Of All Time (HeavyMMA)

- Chael Sonnen Says He’ll Die Without TRT (FightersOnly)

- The Sickest Athletes of the 2012 NBA Draft (MensFitness)

- DV Hottie of the Week: Genevieve, a Gorgeous Blonde (DoubleViking)

- How Will Scientology Assassinate Katie Holmes? A Screen Junkies How-To (ScreenJunkies)

- 7 Reality Shows That Could Be the Best Shows Ever (HolyTaco)

(If you’ve ever seen the kind of bedbugs that Oakland produces, then you’d be less inclined to call Chael a cheater is all we’re saying.)

Well, well, well. As if it wasn’t bad enough that a mild-mannered, unassuming guy like Chael Sonnen lost *his* UFC middleweight championship due to a misunderstanding of the rules back at UFC 117, and shortly thereafter found himself thrust into the center of an elaborate conspiracy (that’s right, conspiracy) that attempted to invalidate the four and a half round ass whooping he laid out on Anderson Silva, now he has this to deal with this. The poor guy.

You see, Potato Nation, when you become the best at something, be it sports, politics, or whatever else, the common folk can’t help but become jealous of your accomplishments, to the point that they will go out of their way to try and discredit what you have worked so hard to achieve. Such was the case for Herman Cain, and now it appears that none other than HH Chael Sonnen has found himself in the public’s crosshairs as well. As we all know, Sonnen is the greatest mixed martial artist of all time, bar none, and because of this, everyone with a University of Phoenix Health Care degree is trying to use their “science” to tear him down. Even though he was granted a therapeutic use exemption to help him deal with his inability to produce testosterone, a real, crippling disease that many MMA fighters face, haters are still coming out of the woodwork to try and soil the name of a man who literally defines “upstanding citizen” with his every action.

Today’s mountebank is none other than MMAJunkies go-to medicine man, Dr. Johnny Benjamin, who boldly claimed that the only reason Sonnen’s body cannot produce the testosterone it should is due to the fact that he definitely used steroids in the past. Here’s what he told BloodyElbow:

Was Chael Sonnen a big time collegiate wrestler? Yes he was. I’m going to opine and say to you, there’s no way in the world you get to the level of collegiate wrestling that Chael Sonnen was at, with hypogonadism. Let me explain to you why. Hypogonadism means that the testes did not produce enough testosterone for one to normally mature. He wasn’t on TRT as a teenager. He became this big, muscled up monster and NCAA wrestler with hypogonadism? Hell no.

Read More ADD COMMENTS (23) DIGG THIS

(Titty Relaxation Therapy > Testosterone Replacement Therapy any day of the week.) 

Randy Couture has made some pretty bold claims ever since retiring (again) from the sport, a few of which have left more than a few fans scratching their heads, and others writing it off as pure senility. It’s comforting, however, to see that a guy who fought in the sport’s highest promotion until he was 47 years old take a stance on the TRT issue that has seemingly plagued the UFC’s finest as of late. With everyone from Frank Mir to Dan Henderson seeking and/or receiving therapeutic use exemptions for TRT, as well as guys like Nate Marquardt suddenly claiming that they no longer need it, most people can’t make heads or tails of the legitimacy of the increasingly popular issue.

Luckily “Captain America” is here to put things in perspective:

You know, I understand it. There’s this whole movement out there for anti-aging. It started out with guys in their 50′s who, naturally as you get older, your testosterone levels deplete. Your body quits producing more, and they want to feel and recover and do the things they did when they were younger. I understand that.

But I think there are natural ways to jumpstart your body’s own production rather than put an external source of testosterone in your body. And I think putting the external in only compounds the issues that your already having. I think the problem…obviously Chael, Marquardt, there’s been several athletes that have been using TRT.

I think for them, it’s not a function of having depleted levels of testosterone, it’s wanting to have testosterone levels of a 21 year old again, because when you were 21, let’s face it, you recovered better, you’re probably gonna compete better, especially if you’re 32 and have that experience going into a fight. 

Couture goes on to mention several of the methods he used to stay young at heart, which included marrying, then divorcing lunatics at least ten years his junior on the regular. True dat, brother.

Join us after the jump for the full interview. 

(Props: MMAFightingonSBN)

In a new interview on MMA Fighting’s “The MMA Hour,” Nate Marquardt revealed that he has discontinued the testosterone replacement therapy that led to his dismissal from the UFC last June. Marquardt started TRT in 2010 to treat low testosterone-production which left him feeling sluggish, irritable, and forgetful, but recently decided that the hassle ain’t worth it. As Marquardt explained to Ariel Helwani:

“I didn’t know if I was going to be able to fulfill my dreams going that route. I just feel it was so much of a hassle and stress with the commissions and all that, I guess, that the right thing for me to do right now is to choose not to do it. And you know, definitely I’ve pursued a lot of other stuff to try to help my health and a lot of it’s helping. I feel great right now. I’m in really good shape, and that’s not something I’m worried about right now.”

As Mike Chiappetta points out, “Marquardt leaving the treatment behind is no small story, as there is much literature that suggests that TRT, once taken, is to be used for a lifetime.” Meaning that Nate’s decision to discontinue treatment could actually be detrimental to his health — assuming he ever needed it in the first place. (The way that MMA fighters have been casually jumping on and off hormone therapy certainly doesn’t improve TRT’s reputation as a cheap route to a competitive advantage.) Still, Marquardt says he’s in great shape without the extra testosterone boost, and will prove it as he drops to welterweight for the first time to battle Tyron Woodley for Strikeforce’s vacant welterweight title on July 14th in Portland, Oregon:

(So I sez to da brod, “Chael sent me,” and she just hands the needles right ova!!) 

To say that it has been a disturbing week in the world almost does too much justice for the term “disturbing.” It has been an abhorring week. There have been two cases of zombie-like acts of cannibalism reported in the past few days alone. Two. If you can stomach it, see for yourself what the human race is still capable of. Being a bit of a paranoid, Burt Gummer-esque survivalist at heart, upon hearing this news, I immediately took to the stocked gun cabinet that rests in the dining room of my countryside abode, stepped outside, and began target practicing on squirrels, chipmunks, and whatever else happened to cross my path. Because this is how it begins, people. You know, the stuff those guys in face paint and textiles told us would happen so many years ago. And I hate to be a dick, but I warned you fuckers. Many, many times. And you just didn’t want to listen.

Self whoring aside, I’d like to think that when the news in the real world gets me down, I can always turn to the world of MMA/combat sports for a little bit of solace, be it in the form of a fantastic knockout, a discussion with friends, or a news story that makes me smile from ear to ear. So you can imagine my disappointment when I came across yet another story of a mixed martial artist, this time Frank Mir, hopping on the TRT bandwagon.

I’ll admit, I found it a little odd when Frank told Ariel Helwani that he didn’t want to discuss the matter in the interviews leading up to his UFC 146 clash with Junior Dos Santos, because let’s be honest, when is there ever something that Frank Mir doesn’t want to talk about? BloodyElbow’s Brent Brookhouse seems to agree with this sentiment, and Mir’s avoidance of the issue makes so much more sense in retrospect.

(Negative side effects of TRT: Bacne. Positive side effects: Falcon Punch.) 

My God, today’s NSAC meeting, which determined both Chael Sonnen’s future ability to continue legally injecting steroids testosterone replacement therapy and Nick Diaz’s minimum retirement length was like watching Lawrence of Arabia, twice, minus all of the train explosions and shots of interesting desert landscapes. To describe the six hour hearing in a word: humdrum. Thankfully, we’ll be much briefer in summing up what went down.

To kick off the afternoon, Sonnen was successful in achieving a therapeutic use exemption for testosterone replacement therapy, and now joins the like of Dan Henderson, Todd Duffee, and Shane Roller in the select group of MMA fighters to receive an exemption from the Nevada State Athletic Commission. As far as interesting developments go, Sonnen admitted that he injected himself with testosterone, stating, ”I administer two times a week, every Sunday and Thursday. It’s self-injected intermusculatory and [I] consider it to be a prescription.” When Commissioner Pat Lundvall asked why Sonnen had never listed using testosterone on his medical forms over the past few years, Sonnen stated that he was under the impression that it wasn’t something that needed to be disclosed. He also stated under oath that he “has never taken anabolic steroids.”

In another interesting moment, which took place before the hearing truly began, Keith Kizer likened TRT to “the new Viagra” as doctors continue to push it on the population and that “Therapuetic Use Exemptions do not allow you to test outside of normal ranges. It only allows for presence of synthetics.” Does this make Sonnen TRT’s Smiling Bob? Only time will tell.

(In a rare misstep for Guida, he had no idea that the beer bong he was offered actually contained Four Loko. There were no survivors.) 

It seems that you can’t come across an MMA interview these days that doesn’t bring up the Alistair Overeem situation. The phrase “testosterone replacement therapy” has been thrown around in more MMA blogs within the past month than the name “Tim Tebow” on your average Sportscenter episode, and that’s saying something. Is it a coincidence that both phrases emphasize the “T” sound? We think not.

Being the laid back, no worries, Winnebago-loving kind of guy that Clay Guida is, he was much more willing to forgive Overeem when speaking to MMAWeekly about the situation yesterday, believing that a lot of the blame should be placed on that of his coaches. And in case you’re wondering, he managed to relate the situation to the lion-esque mange that sits atop his head:

Yeah, Alistair not knowing that there is testosterone in his vitamins, is like me not knowing what kind of conditioner I’m putting in my hair. I’m not going to put the complete blame on him, I’m going to put it on his coaches, and, maybe not his team necessarily, but his trainer and this and that and whoever maybe slipped him a Mickey or whatever you want to call it. I’m a fan of the guy, don’t get me wrong, but, I think they had plans elsewhere or whatever it may be, but, it’s a bummer that the main event in one of the biggest cards of the year is going to be kind of tampered with, just because you know, they got careless and maybe they didn’t have all the belief in themselves, so. I just stick with my regular stuff. The fruits and vegetables, fish oils, glucose and stuff like that you know? I’ve never been big on supplements on stuff like that you know? I just take natural stuff.

Fish oil, eh? And here we thought he was drinking whiskey shooters and vodka cranberries this whole time.

It turns out that fellow lightweight contender Mark Bocek, ever the stickler, was not too pleased that Overeem received only 9 months for his botched surprise drug test, going as far as to say that any fighter needing TRT (or marijuana for that matter), shouldn’t be fighting in the first place:

(Video courtesy of YouTube/HDNet)

- 10 Ways to Gain Muscle (Men’s Fitness)

- PEDs in MMA: Amid TRT Controversy, A Hidden Danger (MMA Fighting)

- Ultimate Treadmills Fail Compilation (Worldwide Interweb)

- Infographoc: The Cost of Don Draper’s Life Today (Made Man)

- Indonesian 8-Year-Old Smokes a Pack a Day (Turd Ferguson Blog)

- An Incomplete Guide to Michael Bay’s Ridiculousness (Screen Junkies)

- Nick Offerman’s Amazing Workshop (BREAK)

- Lindsay Lohan’s Lawyer Plagiarized Her Dumb Lawsuit (Film Drunk)

- Who Said It, Don Draper or Tupac Shakur? (Clutch MTV)

- Fedor Likely Headed to Super Fight League Next (Fighters Only)

- Wand: I’m From the Streets and Vitor Lives In Disneyland (Bleacher Report)

- A Cure For Baldness, Man Boobs, And Other Dude Problems (Holy Taco)

- Five Questions Stemming From the Broncos’ Signing of Peyton Manning (Scores Report)

(“Taking testosterone is no different than Flintstone vitamins. Ask Cris Santos.”)

Chael Sonnen made a stop by SPIKE TV last night and sort of addressed his TRT use exemption and the suspension he received following his UFC 117 title fight with Anderson Silva for failing to disclose to California State Athletic Commission officials that he took the hormone prior to the bout.

Host Craig Carton segued into the topic while they were discussing Quinton “Rampage” Jackson’s recent revelation that he is on the youth tonic as well. Sonnen was quick to point out that there are plenty of other substances that are better performance-enhancing-wise, but then denied that testosterone was a performance enhancer. Classic contradictory and convoluted Chael.

“There’s two things there. Hold on. If you’re gonna associate the guy with TRT, make sure you also associate the fact that it’s legal and it’s not banned. Second thing with TRT is people are really getting confused. They look at TRT and they’re missing the stuff that really is good,” Sonnen explained. “TRT is eight, nine, 10 on the list of things that a person could take to help their careers go along. Secondly, any time a person says ‘performance enhancer,’ stop talking to them, because they don’t have the intellect to debate with you.”

(Video courtesy of SI.com)

- The 20 Funniest Martial Arts Glamor Photos (WorldWideInterweb)

- 9 Things Bad Personal Trainers Say (MadeMan)

- 8 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You’re Dating Casually (Guyism)

- Will Ferrell Is Putting The ‘Step Brothers’ Sequel At The Top Of His To-Do List (ScreenJunkies)

- Aaron Landry’s Ridiculous Workout (BuzzerBeat)

- Crazy Couple Pranks Each Other While Sleeping (Break)

- Why Does George Lopez Keep Getting TV Shows? (TuVez)

- What to Do When You Hate Her Friends (AskMen)

- Brass Tacks Infographic: Danny DeVito (Clutch.MTV)

- Resident Evil ORC First Gameplay Trailer (TheRugged)

- 3D Chinese Porn to Get Sequel in 4D…Wait…What?! (FilmDrunk)

- Dana White Comments on TRT Use and Drug Testing (FightersOnly)

- Reasons to Watch UFC on FX 2 (BleacherReport)

- 25 Ridiculous Lip Tattoos (HolyTaco)

(This is what he means by “off-the-chain doggy-style.”)

I’m sorry, but there are times when you have to break your own ban. This is one of those times. In a new interview with Fighters Only, Quinton Jackson discusses how testosterone replacement therapy turned his life around, though it caused him to gain a bunch of water weight that contributed to his UFC 144 scale-fail. And then he dropped this bit of info (via Fightlinker):

“I’m in a studio — you know I make music as a hobby — I am in the studio right now with my friend who produced all my tracks. We made a big hit actually, people will be really surprised when I release this because I have been making music for like six or seven years but never released anything. Now I am finally comfortable to actually release something. I was depressed yesterday but then we made this hit last night and it immediately cheered me up because normally I make music just for a hobby, I never release it, its just for me to enjoy. But this song cheered me up in my hard times right now and I think my fans can get some enjoyment out of it. It cheered me up if they don’t like it I don’t give a fuck. I’m the king of doggy style.”

No arguments there. But how does hormone replacement therapy figure into this story? Well…

You know, Potato Nation, Coleman just really likes potatoes. I mean, I know that’s not profound or nothin’. Heck! We all do…but for him, it goes much more beyond that.

So how many of you all came here last weekend only to be disappointed by the lack of answers to your seemingly endless questions? Maybe we’re getting too far ahead of ourselves, so let’s start over: How many of you noticed that we didn’t run a new edition of Ask the Potato last week? We just saw at least three hands go up, so we’re going to assume that the rest of you are just too shy to respond. We’re keeping it short and sweet and to the point this week, much unlike this sentence, so let’s get down to business.

KarmaAteMyCat asks: What’s the most vicious injury you have ever seen in MMA to date?

(“Both my black eye and my low testosterone can be traced back to tainted supplements…”)

Just over two weeks after being suspended by the Pennsylvania Athletic Commission, forcing him out of the main event of the UFC Live on Versus 4 card, Nate Marquardt’s fighting future is no longer uncertain. MMAJunkie reports that PSAC has lifted Marquardt’s suspension after the former UFC middleweight-turned-welterweight met all of the commission’s medical requirements and passed all of his medicals.

(Hendo’s friends knew something was wrong with him, but it took a doctor to figure out his T levels were really low.)

Rumor had it for a while that Dan Henderson was one of the fighters with an approved testosterone replacement therapy exemption, but until now there was no concrete evidence that he was in the same company as Chael Sonnen, Todd Duffee, Nate Marquardt and Dennis Hallman (who we know about). It’s not that he was hiding it, it’s just that no one asked.

In an interview Hendo did with ESPN this week, the Strikeforce light heavyweight champion ,who revealed that he has been using TRT since 2007, spoke openly and candidly about the reason he required the therapeutic exemption and the effect it has on his health. Among other things, Henderson called for stricter year-round testing  for anyone who requires hormone replacement to ensure that he or she isn’t upping their dosages to give them an edge in the off-season.

“…and were it not for my testosterone deficiency, your honor, I would have thrown him completely out of the Octagon. Case closed?” (Pic: NBCSports.com)

A series of events that unfolded quickly and ended with Nate Marquardt’s exile from the UFC could see an equally swift ruling by the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission later this week. Marquardt and his representatives are on the docket for a July 13th appearance, during which time they hope to plead their case for his use of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.

As in the cases with Sean Sherk, Josh Barnett, and most recently Chael Sonnen, it’s not uncommon for hearings like these to be delayed for months after a failed drug test, but maybe that’s just due to California’s ‘totally chilled out’ approach to legal proceedings. Unlike the Sonnen case, this one shouldn’t be marred by a possible multiple personality disorder nor probable pseudologia fantastica. Instead, we may get to hear some key decision makers weighing in on the facts of TRT at an important crossroads in our sport.

(“A Chippendale is one of them roided-up nude dancers wif the bow ties. Funny, innit?” – Photo courtesy Getty Images)

Add Dan Hardy to the list of Nate Marquardt detractors alongside fighters like BJ Penn and Chael Sonnen (ironic?) who don’t buy the former UFC middleweight’s claims that he needs testosterone replacement therapy to compete. Hardy spoke with ESPN.com recently and touched on Marquardt’s recent firing by the UFC for his HRT debacle, and the former welterweight contender questioned the legitimacy of “The Great’s” affliction.

“What is he, 31 or 32? I don’t want to kick a man when he’s down but what’s he doing needing testosterone therapy anyway at that age? I’m not that far behind him and I certainly don’t need any! The thing that annoyed me is that he has tested positive for nandrolone in the past, people are aware of that, and now he’s saying he needs Hormone Replacement,” Hardy points out. “Maybe he wouldn’t have needed Hormone Replacement if he hadn’t been using something in the first place. On the bright side, he’ll always have a job as a Chippendale.”