(YOU JUST HAD TO ORDER THE COLONEL’S TRIPLE SUPER EXTRA CRISPY RECIPE, DIDN’T YOU, JUSTIN?!) 

You can call this lazy journalism if you want (and I’d sorta agree with you), but I am going to repost the story that TUF 10 veteran Justin Wren recently posted on the Underground verbatim, because there is simply nothing that could describe the apparent spontaneous combustion then rejuvenation of the roof of his mouth more than the photos themselves do. Despite everything I know about medical science, which I learned on that one episode of Scrubs I caught a few years back, Wren appears to have contracted, then recovered from, one of the worst cases of necrotizing faciitis I have ever seen. To put it in the words of a cliched film critic, when looking at this series of images, “I laughed. Then I cried. Then I applauded. Then I vomited. Then I passed out in said vomit. Then I stood up an cheered before vomiting once more.”

Anyways, the story begins like this:

Two days ago I was helping lead at a youth camp of 750 youth kids… I was talking and then a girl yelled… “Justin! Your teeth are bleeding!” I walked outside and spit a mouthful of blood… I went to the bathroom and spit out 3 or 4 full mouthfuls of blood… I filled up 4 full 16 ounce cups of blood within an hour or so… I was told by the 4 person med team it looked like the roof of my mouth was caving in or falling off! I had some sort of strange deep infection in my palette…

The full story, complete with pictures, is after the jump. Fair warning: These pictures are f*cking disgusting.

(The battle of the chins, ladies and gentlemen. One figurative, and the other literal. Which will reign supreme?) 

It looks like Mayor McCheese has granted Roy Nelson a temporary reprieve from his Facebook sponsored drop to light heavyweight, as it is being reported that the TUF 10 winner has been booked to square off against former EliteXC heavyweight champion Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva at UFC 146 in May.

Continuing the UFC’s ongoing trend of purging Strikeforce of any remaining talent, it was rumored a couple months ago that Silva would be facing Cain Velasquez for his UFC debut, which was tentatively set for April. Rumors quickly shifted to a possible Velasquez/Frank Mir matchup, and “Bigfoot” was all but forgotten about in the mix of things. After shocking the world by handing Fedor Emelianenko his first (T)KO loss since December of 2000 at last year’s Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Silva card, “Bigfoot” would find himself on the wrong end of a slightly less shocking KO loss to Daniel Cormier in the semifinals of Strikeforce’s long running heavyweight tournament in his last contest.

(So close to validation, yet soooo far away…)

Former/possibly current professional wrestler Bobby Lashley returns to mixed martial arts action this November, taking on TUF 10 alum Darrill “The Boss” Schoonover for the Shark Fights Heavyweight title.

Since making his MMA debut in 2008, Lashley has put together a 6-1 record with notable wins over Bob Sapp, Jason Guida, and Wes Sims. Lashley’s hype train was derailed by Chad Griggs at Stikeforce: Houston however, where after a moderately successful first round, “The Dominator” gassed in the second and was unable to answer the third round bell. Lashley has since picked up a unanimous decision victory over journeyman John Ott at Titan Fighting Championships 17.

(Three seasons later, the ‘Innerme‘ still looms large…)

With a big-name crossover star like Brock Lesnar as one of the coaches for this season of The Ultimate Fighter, we wondered if TUF 13‘s viewership ratings would land anywhere near TUF 10‘s — the heavyweight season featuring Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans as coaches and Kimbo Slice as one of the heavyweight hopefuls. According to the numbers released by Spike, TUF 13‘s premiere ratings couldn’t hold a candle to Kimbo.

Wednesday’s show attracted an average of 1.5 million viewers and a 1.0 household rating, and earned the highest viewership numbers for men 18-34 and 18-49 in its new 9 p.m. time slot, with ratings of 1.93 and 1.51, respectively. Still, that’s a far cry from the 4.1 million average viewers that TUF 10 earned in its premiere. It’s also a slight decline from last season’s Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck premiere, which attracted 1.6 million viewers — which was itself a decline from the 1.9 million viewers brought in by the TUF 11: Liddell vs. Ortiz premiere. In fact, the TUF 13 premiere was the least successful debut episode in series history, in terms of household rating.

Responding to the news, UFC president Dana White was in full-on hater-hurtin’ mode, posting the following on the UG: “SINCE WHEN IS 1.5 MILLIONS VIEWERS BAD? People have been saying it is dead since season 4. Sit back and watch bitches or don’t. TUF isnt going anywhere!!!! deal with it.“ Fair enough. But the downward trend can’t be ignored. So what went wrong?

("Waaaaaaaaahhhhh!")

Judging from his TUF 10 wins over Mike Wessel and Darrill Schoonover, and subsequent losses to Brendan Schaub and Matt Mitrione, Marcus "Big Baby Darkness" Jones looked like he was halfway to being a serious heavyweight threat. He had the size, power, and ground game, but his boxing skills and chin left a lot to be desired. Despite his late start in MMA, we figured Jones would return to American Top Team, shore up his striking, and return stronger than ever — especially since he always seemed very passionate about the sport. But according to Around the Octagon, there’s been a change of plans:

MMA had more than its share of unforgettable moments this year — though many of them were unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. With 2009 drawing to a close, we’ve collected and ranked the year’s lowlights. Now let’s never speak of these things ever again…

#9: The "Hello Japan!" incident at DREAM.7 (3/8/09)

Fighting in the Saitama Super Arena must be an incredible experience. There you are, surrounded by 20,000 eerily quiet Japanese people who all seem to appreciate the intricacies of the sport. During his match against submission wizard Shinya Aoki at DREAM.7, American journeyman David Gardner tried to honor the occasion by waving to the crowd and saying "Hello Japan!" The problem was, Aoki had his back at the time, and as soon as Gardner’s hand went up, Aoki whipped his arm under Gardner’s neck and sunk in a rear-naked choke. "Oh my God it is so dumb," Bas Rutten lamented in the broadcast booth. Dumb is an understatement. Even "Wouldn’t Get Up From Butt Scoot" is a more respectable way to lose a fight. Way to represent the Red, White & Blue, Dave.

#8: Chuck Liddell dances with the stars (9/21/09-10/13/09)

When Dana White temporarily retired Chuck Liddell following his knockout loss to Mauricio Rua at UFC 97, few could have guessed that the Iceman’s next move would be an appearance on a dance-competition show that no red-blooded MMA fan in their right mind would ever watch. Liddell joined the ninth season of Dancing With the Stars with no formal dance training to speak of, and despite his best efforts he didn’t fool any of the judges, who called him everything from "graceless" to "gentle neanderthal." After four weeks of low scores and fruity costumes, Liddell was sent packing. On the bright side, Chuck expanded his fanbase on network television, outlasted fellow competitor Tom DeLay, and probably wound up banging his redheaded dance partner. Still, Tito Ortiz’s stint on Celebrity Apprentice now seems like the most badass thing in the world by comparison.

(Top: Kimbo and Roy demonstrate the difference between "built like a black man" and "built like a polar bear." Directly above: The Amanda Knox verdict affected some fighters more than others.)

Okay, so "Heavyweights" wasn’t the best season of The Ultimate Fighter we’ve seen. Let’s be honest: Project Runway had a more talented group of fighters this year, and there weren’t as many divas. But tonight’s finale card will still give us a very entertaining night of fights, with two worthy TUF finalists, Kimbo Slice’s (possibly) last stand, and the always exciting Jon Jones looking to launch to the next level against Matt Hamill. Round-by-round updates from the TUF 10 Finale are after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. We begin our evening’s entertainment with a grudge match between two ex-football players…

(Justin Wren: The mohawk and tattoo say "badass." The leopard-print shorty-shorts say "barback at a gay nightclub." / Photo courtesy of the UFC TUF Finale: Weigh Ins set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

Spoilers after the jump…

(Fun Fact: Jon Jones has the longest recorded reach in UFC history. Deal with it, Lesnar.)

Jon Jones always seems to come up with creative ways to get himself mentally prepared for a fight.  If you had read this Fight Magazine cover story, you’d know all about his decision to mark out Stephan Bonnar‘s physical dimensions with pieces of tape on the wall of his home, just as a daily reminder of where Bonnar’s head would be when they finally got in the cage together.  To get ready for Matt Hamill, he says he decided to go back and watch some of his own fights with the sound off, and it actually helped him gain a little extra understanding of his deaf opponent:

"I’m trying to put myself in his head, see what he sees," said Jones. "It also helps to not be influenced by the commentary. Sometimes you hear [UFC color commentator Joe Rogan] say stuff like, ‘What a huge right hand,’ and it changes the way you see things. I want to know what he’s seeing when he looks at me and figure out what he might try to do. Without the sound, you really see a lot more of the details that you usually miss."

That’s one way of getting in your opponent’s head.  Jones also talked about his grueling training camp at Greg Jackson’s gym, saying he now feels like Rashad Evans and Keith Jardine are his "big brothers."  Guess that means there’s one more Jackson’s camp guy who absolutely, positively won’t fight his teammates for any amount of money.  Somewhere, steam is coming out of Dana White’s ears.

(Looking back now, it’s not hard to see why Roy Nelson ultimately decided not to go with "Big Graceful Swan" as a nickname.)

It’s that time again.  With the "Ultimate Fighter" Finale just a day away, we take a look back at season ten and a look forward into the futures of tomorrow night’s marquee fighters.  Enjoy.

Real talk: Was this the worst TUF season of all time?

BF: I’m tempted to say no. That is, until I start thinking about it and trying to name a season that’s been less enjoyable to watch and I draw a total blank. This was a perfect storm of crap. The fights were mostly one-sided, sloppy, uninteresting affairs. The Kimbo Bomb that resulted in huge ratings off the bat ended up being a dud. The bickering between Rashad Evans and “Rampage” Jackson went from enticing to annoying as soon as we learned that they wouldn’t be fighting any time soon.

(Kimbo, if the diet plan includes cocaine, cigarettes, and vomiting, it’s possible that you may be getting weight cutting advice from the wrong people.)

As the only fighter from season ten of "The Ultimate Fighter" to get a spot on the finale without winning a single fight in the tournament, you might think Kimbo Slice would be stoked simply to be getting the opportunity to show what he can do.  Considering the fact that he’s a heavyweight who is being handed a custom-made catchweight bout with a non-grappler from the weight class below his, you might even expect him to be damn near chipper about the whole thing.  You’d be wrong. 

On a media conference call to discuss this weekend’s finale fights, Slice revealed that he’s been struggling to make the roughly twenty-pound weight cut.  Though he only has to get down to 215 pounds, Slice said that so far the pound-shedding experience has been "not good," adding that the struggle has left him "moody" and generally mentally distressed. 

After his latest “Do you wanna be an [expletive] fighter” speech on the last episode, Dana White is surprised that nobody is stepping over Matt Mitrione to take his spot, which is strange because Scott Junk made it very clear that he’d just do that, wrecked eye notwithstanding. One guy who definitely isn’t down to fight is (wait for it) Kimbo Slice, who’s concerned about his arthritis-stricken knee and starts throwing out excuses. Bottom line is, he won’t be able to perform at full strength, and he can’t stomach another loss, so he’d just rather not fight, if that’s cool.

“I am in no position to fight a kickboxer like James McSweeney at this point,” he says, adding that it would “demise” him a little bit taking the fight knowing he wasn’t healthy. Dana White is a little taken back; he didn’t expect this from Kimbo, whose gameness was supposed to be his best quality. But that’s the situation. The season’s poster boy turns out to be a total bust. I demand a refund.

Luckily, Matt Mitrione feels healthy again. He tells Rashad that he’s been cleared to fight, and Rashad tells us "I bet he called the doctor and the doctor said ‘listen kid, I told you two days ago you could fight,’” which is hilarious because that’s pretty much exactly how it went down. Finally, Mitrione admits that his head injury story was exaggerated to mess with James McSweeney and keep himself entertained. Ohhhhh, now it all makes sense…

(Props: MrBavers)

This Wednesday’s season finale of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights will be a two-hour mega-episode featuring four fights — the last two quarterfinal bouts and both semifinal matches — along with some heated emotions courtesy of Marcus "Big Baby" Jones. As you can see in the above preview, the eye-pokes that Scott Junk sustained in his fight against Matt Mitrione turn out to be career-threatening. When Jones hears the bad news about his friend, he gets way up in the face of the meatheaded culprit and promises him death. Mitrione figures if he keeps quiet and doesn’t make eye contact, the Babystorm will eventually drift away. Does it work, or does Matt catch a beating that knocks them both out of the competition? And how anti-climactic will this "final twist" be? Only three more days until all the questions are answered and we can finally put this awful season behind us.

After the jump: Speaking of finales, DWtS had theirs on Tuesday, and they brought Chuck Liddell back for a martial arts-themed dance showdown with Mark Dacascos. It was everything we hoped it wouldn’t be, and so much more…

("Hey. My eyes are up here.")

The Ultimate Fighter‘s Darrill Schoonover isn’t just a promising heavyweight with a minor drinking problem and disturbing tattoos; he’s also a U.S. Army veteran who spent four years serving our country. Schoonover will make his official UFC debut at the TUF 10 finale on December 5th, but his long-term career plans just became a little more uncertain. As he explained on Shambala Sports Radio:

Damn, dude. Can’t Dana pull some strings? It would be just his luck that Darrill wins the contract, then has to take off to hunt Bin Laden’s homeboys — a perfect end to a season where the coaches don’t even fight. Schoonover will be deployed for 400 days, and hopes to lose enough weight so that he can compete at light-heavyweight in the future. But no matter who he faces next month at the TUF 10 finale, he’ll be in good company…

(Schaub vs. Madsen stoppage, via bothmiddlefingers)

Matt Mitrione is still bitching about his alleged brain damage. He says a doctor’s visit revealed that he has some minor swelling in the brain, which turned into a migraine. As a result, he’s a little slow and it’s taking a little longer for him to say things. Trevor Wittman calls horseshit — swelling of the brain is life-threatening, and the doctor wouldn’t just send him back to the house. Coach Rashad still can’t get a clear read on if Mitrione really wants to continue fighting; he has to want it for himself more than his coaches want it for him. James McSweeney — who’s scheduled to fight Mitrione in the third quarterfinal match — feels that Mitrione is just playing games, and in his book, Meathead just went from "rat" to "two faced little bitch without a heart."

While rolling with Demico Rogers, Kimbo Slice tweaks his knee. He’d obviously be the first fighter to return if Mitrione has to withdraw from the competition, but Coach Rampage is worried that McSweeney would focus on the bum joint with kicks. (In Kimbo’s charming personal dialect, McSweeney is a "tree chopper.") Later, a doctor tells Kimbo that he’s missing some cartilage, but Kimbo won’t get a cortisone shot because big needles freak him out. He suffers through an ice bath outside the TUF house, while his housemates laugh at his agony.

He may not look like much.  He may have terrible takedown defense and he may speak in a monotone voice that makes him sound like a robot that is slowly running out of power.  But “Ultimate Fighter” season ten heavyweight Abe Wagner is one perceptive son of a bitch.  While everyone else in the house traded unfounded speculation about whether Matt Mitrione was faking the whole ‘hurt brain’ thing, Wagner did some sleuthing that turned up incontrovertible evidence, and he shares it with us in his Fight Magazine blog:

“I wasn’t personally very convinced of his head injury and thought he was continuing to play the game the way he had been up to this point. A prime reason why I felt that way was he came up to me eating peanut butter M&M’s and asked me if it was normal for them to be delicious or if his brain was really that messed up. This was obviously a joke because everyone knows that peanut butter M&M’s are delicious. In my experience people with real brain trauma have no humor; it just doesn’t occur to them. So that he was able to make jokes with me made me think that his head injury wasn’t in fact that bad.”

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution rests. 

Okay, so maybe it’s not exactly scientific, but it’s still very difficult to argue with.  Who makes it all the way to adulthood without finding out that peanut butter M&M’s are delicious?  Some people learn it on the streets, some in an uncomfortable talk with their father, but by a certain age, everyone knows it.  Oddly though, his take on Mitrione and peanut butter M&M’s was somehow not the strangest moment in his post-episode blog.  No, that happened when he got around to discussing the chicken prank and its aftermath:

(Nelson vs. Wren. Props: CreativeProjectTV)

With seven of his guys advanced to the quarterfinals, Coach Rashad decides that the fairest way to proceed is for him to take a hands-off approach. Everybody will train together, but there won’t be much coaching anymore. The guys are on their own.

Roy Nelson and Justin Wren are friends. Roy wants to get their fight over with so he can go back to giggling and shooting the crap with his homey, and he feels bad that he’ll have to take Justin’s dream away.

Matt Mitrione‘s brain hurts, even more than usual. He dry-heaves at the house, and can barely stay in a sitting position in the van. Wren thinks he’s milking it. Kimbo says "he already has sand in his vagina. He already pulled out by going to the hospital." If he can’t continue, Dana says he and the coaches will decide "who the alternate is who deserves to be in there." Deserving or not, we all know it would be Kimbo Slice. But nobody seems to mind the favoritism. Rampage is pulling for Kimbo to return because he’s improved so much during his time in the house. Kimbo says he’s a fight contractor, putting tools in his belt to build a solid fight foundation, and if he gets a chance to put his haymakers on you, you a done-dada.

Sneak Peek: Team Rashad Prepares For The Quarterfinals

Tonight’s episode of TUF 10 will feature the season’s first quarterfinal matchup, in which polar-bearish grapplers Justin Wren and Roy Nelson — arguably the two strongest fighters in the house — go toe-to-toe in a Youth vs. Experience matchup. Because they practice on the same team, each dude always has one eye on the other, though the vibe between them is generally respectful. Rashad feels uncomfortable with the prospect of training his guys against each other, because he doesn’t want to look like he’s playing favorites — though that ruse won’t last long considering Schaub and McSweeney obviously are his favorites. Check out the episode tonight and come back tomorrow morning for group discussion…

(Props: CagePotato reader Pete V.R.)

Now that TUF 10‘s round-of-16 is in the books, we all have a better sense of who these guys are and how far they’ll go in the competition. So, it’s time to rank the Elite 8 based on their performances. Going from valedictorian to dunce…

JUSTIN WREN

Wren put an MMA veteran to sleep, took zero damage in the fight, and made it look easy. You couldn’t ask for a more successful first match than that. Few people knew who this guy was when he came into the house, but suddenly he’s a front-runner. Grade: A

ROY NELSON

Like Wren, Nelson used a methodical grappling attack to take his opponent completely out of the game. The only difference is, Wren finished his fight, while Nelson was content to pile on pitty-pat punches until the ref stopped it for him. Not taking any undue risks is a smart strategy when you’re looking at three fights in six weeks, but hopefully he’ll show some killer instinct in his next fights. Grade: A-

Marcus Jones vs. Mike Wessel – Watch more Funny Videos

Matt Mitrione‘s win over Scott Junk on last week’s episode was a bit of a shock to the TUF guys, who expected more out of the Hawaiian UFC vet. Junk says he would have won the fight if it went to a third round — kind of a bold statement considering he almost had a heart-attack trying to make it to the second horn.

Rampage has his now-famous door-destroying session. "You know what sucks about that, it shows everybody how fucking cheap our doors are," Dana says. Rashad doesn’t understand the outburst. "If you put in nothin’, you get out nothin’," he says. After Rampage cools down, he feels embarrassed about the incident, especially because the door never did anything to him.

In the aftermath of the last fight, Mitrione feels like his brain is a little rattled, and goes right to bed. Wes Sims feels it’s the perfect opportunity to throw him a party. He barges into Matt’s room screaming "CELEBRATE!" while spraying some undisclosed shit into his room. (Silly String? Axe Body Spray?) The brain-damaged Mitrione is in no mood, and politely asks Wes to leave.

(Props: eBay via CP reader Simon S.)

As you might recall, Wes Sims was living under a bridge before he was selected for TUF 10, and the show represented his best chance to turn his life and career around. Sadly, Justin Wren had other plans for him. Cut to present-day, where an eBay seller named "iwawrestling" from Lancaster, OH — who claims to be Wes Sims — is selling a skull cap that he either stole from Kimbo Slice, or accepted as a gift, or bought at a dollar store and is now trying to pass off as Kimbo’s. Either way, it’s on the auction block for the super-low price of $28:

Our first reaction is to thank Wes for not turning to porn in order to make ends meet. But for some reason this feels even less respectable. Without an autograph on the hat, or a certificate of authenticity signed by Kimbo himself, it’s basically just a skull cap that Sims is trying to get a few bucks for. Maybe Sam’s Club still needs a tire technician, Wes. Please look into it.

("Which hand’s the penny in, motherfucker? WHICH HAND?!?")

From nwitimes.com via MMA Junkie:

(Props: twitter.com/realkimboslice)

When we asked Dana White if there was any truth to the rumors that Kimbo Slice‘s first post-TUF fight would be against Houston Alexander, he expertly dodged the question. (This is why he gets the paid the big bucks, and why we have to moonlight as night managers at Family Dollar in order to make rent.) But a couple of tweets Kimbo posted yesterday seem to support the theory that Slice will soon be thrown into the Octagon with another ground-game-challenged puncher. The "I Accept" line suggests that he won’t be fighting a fellow castmember at the TUF 10 finale. (Does he not get another chance to bang on the show after all? Does he lose again?) And yeah, the whole "HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" thing is pretty much a dead-giveaway. 

Alexander, who recently broke his three-fight losing streak with a first-round TKO over Sherman Pendergarst at Adrenaline 4, is reportedly applying for a fighter license with the Nevada State Athletic Commission, so all signs are pointing to "oh God, this is actually happening." Could it be the Kimbo Slice slobberknocker that we’ve all been waiting for?

(‘Anybody want to go throw some furniture off the overpass?’)

You might think that you know what Matt Mitrione is doing when you watch him on “The Ultimate Fighter,” but the truth is he is straight playin’ ya’ll.  That’s the message in his Fight Magazine blog, where he once again insists that nothing is as it seems in his world, and everything is done for a reason that only makes sense to him.  In the case of last night’s episode, the reason is purely for his own amusement, because his mind is too damn active to allow him to just sit around and act like a normal human being.  It’s a blessing and a curse, people:

As far as talking about voices in my head it was kind of a joke. Nobody here likes me so let’s see what I can do to freak out the camera people. I was going stir crazy. I had no other friends in the house at the time except for Darrill and I couldn’t really tell Darrill what I was doing at the time. It was my own personal joke. It was a way to keep myself entertained. I have a really active mind and I can’t sit around and stare at the other people in a house. I gotta stimulate myself. When I was in the cage and I told T and Rashad that I had a conversation with my wife in my head I was trying so hard not to laugh as I said it.

Mitrione vs. Junk, TUF 10 – Watch more Funny Videos

The hate train continued on last night’s ep of The Ultimate Fighter, which opened up with the coaches mocking each other’s losses. Rashad imitates Rampage getting wrecked by Wanderlei Silva in their first fight, and Rampage imitates Rashad’s "stanky leg" routine against Machida. Rampage calls Rashad "Gayshad." Rashad calls Rampage a whiny bitch. God, I could watch this all day.

So, back to business. Rashad picks Matt "Meathead" Mitrione to fight Scott Junk, who is frighteningly amped up in the staredown. Dana White likes Scott in the fight, because of all his experience. By default, Mike Wessel vs. Marcus Jones will be the final fight in the round-of-16.

Directly after the picks, Rampage and Rashad get into it again. You can watch the scene here, but basically, Rashad says he’s going to make Rampage quit just like he quit in the competition (!), and Rampage says that it’s his fighters who have quit, not him. (Cut to a very hurt-looking Kimbo Slice.) Rampage repeats that he’s not a coach, but he brought some dudes who can coach, and they’re doing a great job, ain’t that right? (Cut to a very confused looking Wes Shivers and Zak Jensen.) The coaches nearly come to blows. Rashad has one shoe off, totally ready for it. Rampage: "Take both shoes off. I’m in your face now. Touch me. Please."

Darrill Schoonover is a drunk. He has a few beers in his belly by 8 a.m., followed by a few shots of whiskey, in an attempt to exact a brutal revenge on the dog that bit him. Unfortunately, it seems to be affecting his work. Schoonover gets handled by Brendan Schaub in sparring, and James McSweeney spills the beans about Darrill’s alcohol intake to Coach Rashad. Rashad and his assistant coaches tell him to cut it out, or at least wait until he’s won a fight before he starts celebrating. "You can’t forget why you’re here," Rashad says. But he also sees the potential in Schoonover: "Darill is that little diamond in the rough…There’s something in Schoonover that [Team Rampage] just don’t know."

Phil Nurse stops by to work with Team Rashad, and we see that scene from yesterday, where Darrill is drunk enough to challenge Rampage to a fight. They have words; most of Rampage’s words involve some reference to "titties." Schoonover wants to take on Rampage in a sparring session, or at the very least head-butt him.

The next fight is announced: Schoonover vs. Zak Jensen. We figured Darrill would get a tougher opponent, but maybe his performance in practice has made Rashad nervous. Anyway, it looks like another easy win for Team Rashad. "Titties!", Rampage shouts after Darrill’s name is called. "Fuck you bitch," Darrill replies. "Got milk, bitch? Got milk?", Rampage says. Darrill nearly goes after Rampage, but Rashad breaks them up. "Walk up on me again, your ass gonna be in trouble, trust me," Rampage says. "You feel froggy, then jump."

(Mike is not taking your bullshit. No sir, not today.)

Quote of the day from Team Rashad member Mike Wessel, via an interview on Heavy.com:

Wessel went on to deny Rampage’s claims that Team Rashad didn’t actually like each other, and while he was in a venting mood, he figured he’d blast the TUF producers for all the special treatment given to Kimbo Slice. As the story goes, Slice got to bring an audience to his fight against Roy Nelson:

Justin Wren vs. Wes Sims – Watch more Funny Videos
(The sad ending of Wren vs. Sims.)

Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter began with Matt Mitrione tweaking his shoulder while rolling with Titties. Back in his football days, he would just take a cortisone shot and get right back into action. But Rashad tells Matt that he ain’t getting no damn cortisone shot, because of the damage it’ll do in the long run. He’s just going to have to suck it up and deal.

Marcus Jones is itching to fight next, and asks Rashad — who still has control of the picks — to give him a match. Rashad keeps it mysterious, telling Big Baby he very well might be fighting next; who can say, really? Jones interprets it as a promise, and gets hyped up: "It was like I was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, you know what I’m sayin’?"

Rampage is understandably bummed out by the fact that his team still hasn’t won a fight. Losing messes with Rampage’s sex life, which doesn’t need any more setbacks. The team practices aren’t doing much to encourage him, either. Zak Jensen is unable to perform a drill where he has to shimmy to the cage with a guy on top of him. He’s a good wrestler, apparently, but shuts down when he’s on his back; even Kimbo controls him from top position. Scott Junk says that Zak talked himself up so much when he first arrived at the house, but he’s just a "turd" at practice. Rampage won’t get his hopes up if Zak is picked to fight.

(Props: UFC)

Though he jacks up his shoulder on tomorrow night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, Matt "The Rat" Mitrione is still very much DTF (down to fight). In fact, he tries to convince Coach Rashad that he should be picked to fight next, despite his arm being in a Saran-Wrap cast. Rashad openly calls him "Meathead" now, and casts doubt on his injury. Meanwhile on Team Bumpage, Marcus "Big Baby" Jones is also impatiently awaiting his first match, and becomes convinced that he’ll be picked next. And look, we get a rare glimpse of Wes Sims trying to shake water out of his ear (I think?) as Jones walks past him at the 2:15 mark. The end of the promo still promises a Kimbo return, and vows that fight #5 ends in a "shock result no one saw coming." Rashad is shown crouching over one of his guys in the Octagon while others shout "wake up!" First double-knockout in TUF history?

After the jump: UFC old-schooler Oleg Taktarov stops by BJ Penn’s gym in Hilo to plug his role in Predators, and Brock Lesnar destroys a few more training partners in preparation for his UFC 106 title defense against Shane Carwin.