(“Hey Norman, ever play skin the cat?”)

As Dana White announced earlier today at the UFC 158 press conference, a lightweight bout between TUF: The Smashes lightweight runner up and presumable collector of Haunter Pokemon memorabilia, Colin Fletcher, has been booked to take on TUF 16 runner up and sensitive artist, Mike Ricci, on the welterweight-heavy UFC 158 card in March.

On the heels of a UD loss to Northern Ireland’s “Stormin” Norman Parke at UFC on FX 6, Fletcher will no doubt be looking to utilize his reach advantage against Ricci, who will be making the drop from welterweight following a unanimous decision loss of his own to Colton Smith at the TUF 16 Finale. Ricci has gone win-loss in his past six contests, including notable losses to Daron Cruickshank and Pat Curran, and holds notable wins over Strikeforce veteran Jordan Mein and Canadian Rory MacDonald…

…I’m sorry, that’s Canadian Rory McDonell, who was able to score his last victory by, and I quote, “Gogoplata Straight Armbar.” Seriously, if you doubt me, just check out this photo of the finish. How that sub was somehow overlooked by nearly every MMA site out there is beyond me, but feel free to discuss this massive oversight in the comments section. Because, let’s be real, it’s probably more interesting than the subject at hand.

-J. Jones

(“My favorite Jean-Claude Van Damme movie? Isn’t it obvious?”) 

You know, it really speaks volumes about what The Ultimate Fighter has become when the greatest display of MMA from the past season came during an event that featured next to none of the show’s participants. Add in the fact that the Ricci/Smith “finale” was the MMA equivalent of watching two illiterates play Scrabble (BRYNDEX is so a word!) and that should give you a good indication of the Tijuana back-alley abortion that TUF 16 truly was. Hell, 12 of the show’s 16 contestants have already been cut from the UFC’s roster and even the coaches couldn’t care less.

What does this all add up to? Mainly, a payout that is as abysmal as the show itself, save a few exceptions. Granted, the money almost seems fair considering the talent levels of the guys involved, but we’ll be damned if it isn’t semi-depressing to look at all the same. So check out the salaries along with our thoughts after the jump and let us know who you think got royally screwed.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

If you haven’t been keeping up with a television series, taking the time on a Saturday night to watch the series finale is a gigantic waste of time. Heading into the finale of a season that we could not have cared less about, the UFC realized that they were facing this exact problem. The promotion realized that if the finale was going to generate any kind of interest, it would have to actually place as little emphasis as possible on the fighters from the show. Rather than focusing on the contestants, the finale was a card packed with current UFC talent.

In an effort to ensure that this wouldn’t backfire, the promotion made sure that the guys filling in for whoever was actually on this season of The Ultimate Fighter were guys you’ve heard of. One great fight led to another great fight, and pretty soon we were anticipating one of the best free shows we’ve been given in a while. As we wrote yesterday, on paper, this card wasn’t so much a TUF Finale as it was a genuinely stacked lineup of free fights that included one main card match between two guys you’ve never seen before.

Even though injuries scrapped the fight between this season’s coaches (as is tradition), and Jamie Varner was forced off of the card at the last minute (more on that later), this event exceeded all of our expectations. Actually, that puts things too mildly: this may have been, top to bottom, the best event of 2012. Let that sink in: A TUF Finale produced a legitimate candidate for Event of the Year – when was the last time we’ve been able to say THAT?

(Mitrione refused to undergo VADA drug-testing. Nelson refused to shampoo the crabs out of his beard. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t watched a single episode of The Ultimate Fighter this season. (Spoiler alert: You haven’t). Tonight’s TUF 16 Finale on FX is still one of the greatest free cards of the year, partly because there aren’t any TUF also-rans mucking it up.

Instead, we’ve got two heavyweight slugfests (Roy Nelson vs. injury fill-in Matt Mitrione and Pat Barry vs. Shane Del Rosario), a lightweight battle that will likely end up in a brutal stoppage (Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner), a pair of featherweight contenders trying to bounce back from submission losses (Dustin Poirier vs. Jonathan Brookins), and a TUF 16 welterweight final featuring a man so dehumanized by his time in captivity that at this point he’s nothing more than a vessel for unspeakable acts of violence.

Taking us through the play-by-play this evening is Level 8 Liveblog Wizard Anthony Gannon, who will be updating us with main card results after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please, please, please, leave us some comments in the comments section.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

We know it’s confusing, so we’ll try to make this as clear as possible…

- The weigh-ins for tomorrow night’s TUF 16 Finale are scheduled for today at 5 p.m. ET / 2 p.m. PT, and you can watch them live in the player above. We’ll be liveblogging the FX main card broadcast tomorrow night beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

- The weigh-ins for tonight‘s UFC on FX: Sotiropoulos vs. Pearson card went down yesterday in Australia, and we’ll be liveblogging the main card tonight beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

- The TUF 16 Finale, which features Roy Nelson vs. Matt Mitrione, Pat Barry vs. Shane Del Rosario, Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner, and Dustin Poirier vs. Jonathan Brookins, is a pretty badass card. Honestly, if you only have time to watch one UFC event this weekend, make it this one — by which I mean tomorrow’s.

- Fun fact: Melvin Guillard plans on getting the lightweight title when he’s 35 or 40, so that he can retire shortly afterwards, rather than fade into obscurity like other guys who have fought for the title. It all makes sense now.

- We’ll be putting today’s weigh-in results after the jump. You’re welcome.

*Super Friends announcer voice* MEANWHILE, IN THE DINING ROOM…

If you thought watching the sixteenth season of The Ultimate Fighter was hell, just wait until you hear how bad it was to be one of the show’s participants, and a winning one at that. As finalist Mike Ricci will tell you, TUF 16 wasn’t exactly Dancing With the Stars, where everyone got to take their perfect-bodied Ukranian supermodel partner home and have their way with them (although to be fair, the above video makes the case that there certainly was a lot of banging going on). No, TUF was much, much uglier. In fact, during a recent appearance on The MMA Hour, Ricci admitted that he hated his time on the show so much — despite being a finalist, mind you — that he wished he could sue the show for the “psychological damages” he suffered:

It was an absolute nightmare, I wanted to sue for psychological damage, I wasn’t the same person. I actually thought I had a case, ‘I’m not the same person, I can do this and win.’ But, I felt like don’t get me wrong, I knew what I was getting into I knew how I was going to react. Even some of the producers in the house toward the end were like, ‘Geez, you’re the most institutionalized fighter we’ve ever seen, we’ve done 11 seasons and we’ve never seen anyone like you, you’re like a robot now. 

Much more from this interview is after the jump.

(Yeah, Matt, we’re all pissed about the Giants last performance.) 

When we last heard from Matt Mitrione, he had placed himself in Dana White’s crosshairs by committing the #1 sin a UFC fighter can commit. No, not failing a drug test that eventually cancels the biggest fight of the year — that sort of thing can easily be forgiven. The man known by many as simply “Meathead” did something much, much worse: he refused to bail the UFC out by taking a fight against Daniel Cormier when Frank Mir got injured. THE AUDACITY.

Out of action since October of 2011 and coming off a hype-derailing performance against Cheick Kongo, Mitrione needed to step up for the UFC in one way or another ASAP, lest he find himself Attonito’d. The perfect opportunity arose when Shane Carwin became the sixth coach in the last eight TUF seasons to pull out of his scheduled fight due to injury. So bada boom bada bing, Mitrione will now be squaring off against fellow TUF 10 castmate Roy Nelson at the TUF 16 Finale in December.

(Where the hell do y’all think you’re going?! Please, I’m begging you, if you stick around, I’ll even break out the Techno Viking dance!) 

We can’t wait to see how Dana White tries to spin this one.

The numbers were just released for all of last weekend’s UFC events. The good news: The main FX card did pretty well and the fourth episode of The Ultimate Fighter hit a seasonal high in terms of viewership (take that with a grain of salt). The bad news: The FUEL prelims were caught by less people than the 2012 Scripps National Spelling Bee prelims on ESPN 3. Probably.

You see, last Friday’s FUEL prelims only managed to draw in 44,000 viewers, absolutely shattering the promotion’s previous FUEL prelim low of 84,000 for UFC on FX 3. If these kind of numbers do not improve, the UFC won’t have to worry about emerging victorious from a ratings war with the WWE because they will be too busy trying to compete with the Punkin Chunkin people. We expect DW to start lobbing insults at “those four-eyed f*cking scumbag f*cks on the Lience Channel” any day now.

(What if they threw a mattress into a pool…and nobody came? / Props: CageWall.com)

I’m sure a lot of you couldn’t care less how many people are watching The Ultimate Fighter — and yeah, we’re beginning to sound like a broken record at this point — but you’ll have to forgive us, because we have a perverse, car-crash-rubbernecker fascination with how low these numbers are dropping. As MMA Junkie informs us, episode 3 of TUF 16: Team Carwin vs. Team Nelson took in just 775,000 viewers, which sets a brand-new record for lowest viewership of a TUF episode. The previous record-holder was the eleventh episode of last season, which pulled in 821,000 viewers.

TUF 16′s viewership numbers have sunk about 18% from the premiere’s, which were shaky to begin with. While the 0.5 rating that Friday’s episode drew in the Adult 18-49 demographic was good enough for #4 in its timeslot among cable programming — behind re-runs of American Dad, Law & Order: SVU, and Diners, Drive Ins & Dives — it finished 98th out the top 100 shows on Friday night in terms of total viewers.

As Dana White might say, that’s an absolute home run and we should shut the fuck up. But still, the audience is simply not sticking around from week to week. So instead of making a new post every time TUF hits a dubious new ratings record, we’ll just ask you: How low will the viewership get this season? Throw your guesses in the comments section, and the closest guess wins a CagePotato t-shirt at the end of the season. We’ll start: 660,000. Your move.

(“Welp, that’s the last time I try to use left-handed scissors.”)

From Tito’s neck to Lensar’s gut to Cruz’s knee to Belfort’s hand, injuries to TUF coaches have become the rule lately, not the exception. And Shane Carwin nearly became the latest name on that list after injuring his knee in training. According to MMA Weekly, Carwin suffered no major tears or damage to his knee, but it was enough to prevent him from traveling to England this weekend for a scheduled autograph signing.

As of now, Carwin is still scheduled to face rival Roy Nelson at the TUF 16 Finale on December 15th. But as Dan Henderson and Jose Aldo recently demonstrated, sometimes fighters try to tough out their injuries until the last possible moment, before dropping out when reality sets in. And since Carwin already withdrew from a UFC 125 fight against Roy Nelson, and because he’s spent much of the last two years recovering from neck and back surgeries, the appeal of just getting in there and throwing down against a guy you can’t stand must be overwhelming.

While we certainly hope that’s not the case, and that Carwin is close to 100% by December, this is the 2012 UFC Injury Curse we’re talking about — Carwin’s knee could merely be a red herring for the horrid fate that lies in store for Roy Nelson.

(If you don’t tune in to see this guy put his shoulder through some drywall, then you’re just not a real fan.)

As first reported by MMAJunkie, Friday’s debut episode of The Ultimate Fighter 16: Team Carwin vs. Team Nelson drew just 947,000 viewers on FX. That number makes it the worst-performing premiere episode in the history of TUF, and marks a 27% drop from the 1.3 million viewers who watched the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Live in March.

And while we’re piling on abuse, 947k viewers means that TUF 16‘s first episode is tied for the fourth-lowest-rated episode in the history of the show; only the 8th, 11th, and 12th episodes of last season did worse. That’s particularly bad news when you consider that premieres are generally the highest-rated episodes of each TUF season — aside from the Kimbo Exception — with the ratings numbers gradually sinking afterwards.

So how low will the numbers sink this season, and how long will it take before the total viewership drops below the show’s all-time bottom of 821k? Cue Dana White rant about how they got this [expletive] thing dialed in, and FX is actually really happy with the numbers. Come on guys. Put this sick dog out of its misery.

Meh.

Perhaps you are part of the ever-diminishing group of people who chose to watch The Ultimate Fighter on a Friday night before going into town on a taxi, having a couple of drugs, having dinner, having a threesome, going home again, having a shower, going out again, more drugs, more threesomes – basically living the rock n’ roll lifestyle of the 18-34 year olds that this show targets. Or perhaps you are straight edge, in which case TUF serves as a warm-up for your night of  Mr. Pibb (or some other beverage, if you enjoy missing all the cool things), lines of Pixy Stix and threesomes. You know, standard practice.

If you tuned in during the first episode, the good news is that you were treated to a night of actual fights instead of drunken arguments, disturbing pranks and more of the stuff you hate about the show. Sure, we still had multiple dudes entering the cage sporting Tatanka/Jorgensen hawks, but not everyone can pull off a normal haircut, I guess.

Right off the bat things get awkward between Dana White and Roy Nelson. Before the fights, Big Country informs the fighters that it’s important to entertain the fans, but winning should be their main priority. Dana White lets Shane Carwin address the UFC hopefuls before he tells the fighters how wrong Roy Nelson is for saying that. That moment probably would have been pretty effective in building interest in the Roy Nelson vs. Dana White storyline if Dana White hasn’t been telling everyone who will listen how fed up he is with Big Country.

As for the actual fights, we’ve got results after the jump, including team selections.

(He’s just jolly. Who could begrudge him that outlook?)

Since tonight marks the premiere of TUF 16, coached by UFC heavyweights Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin, and featuring Uncle Dana on backup vocals, it seems like a good time to round up all the vitriol spewed at Nelson by Carwin and White, as well as preview all the drama to come. In recent interviews, both Shane and the Baldfather spoke about their distaste for Big Boy Roy.

Carwin is succinct in telling Bleacher Report, ”I hate [Nelson]. I dislike him. I hate him as a person. That’s just it.”

Apparently, Shane feels that Roy poses as a hardworking blue-collar guy, but instead spends most of his time complaining. “He always has an excuse for everything. He claims to be this average, normal guy and that’s who he tries to reach too, the blue-collar workers,” Carwin tells BR.

“Well, that’s me. That’s where I came from. I was the one working at 15 years old and working concrete in construction, working at meat packing plants, throwing boxes and things like that. He hasn’t had a job in his life. This is the only thing he has ever done. He’s the farthest thing from a blue-collar worker that he claims to be.”

While Carwin chastises Nelson for not doing enough chores around the family farm as a kid, White has his own reasons for criticizing the more rotund TUF coach:

If you asked a longtime UFC fan what he — or she! — thinks of The Ultimate Fighter, they would likely tell you that the series has gotten stale. (Damn, have we really been complaining about this for over three years now? Time flies when you’re bitching.) It’s not that we won’t tune in to watch up-and-coming fighters slug it out for a spot in the UFC — although that Friday night time-slot is still a pain in the ass — but all the “house drama” officially got old around the Junie Browning era, and highlighting the contestants’ dumb frat-boy behavior makes the sport look worse.

So it’s unfortunate when you watch this new teaser for “Ultimate Fighter Fridays” (known to regular folk as TUF 16), and you realize that the show is actually doubling down on the stupid. Let’s run through the checklist…

- A dude getting up in another dude’s face in the kitchen. (check)

- A prank involving flour. (check)

- A prank involving a bed being moved outdoors. (check)

- An idiotic piece of trash-talk, made worse due to silly delivery. (“You got more stories than Dr. Seuss, ho-mee.” –> check)

(This is your promo, for real? It’s like the UFC gives even less of a fuck than we do at this point.)

FX has released the list of 32 welterweights who will be competing on the 16th season of The Ultimate Fighter, which debuts on Friday, September 14th, at 9 p.m. ET/PT. You can check out the names after the jump, though not a lot of these guys jump out, besides Bristol Marunde, who lost to Jacare Souza in Strikeforce earlier this year. On the other hand, we do have at least one terrible nickname, and one terrible actual name.

The premiere of “Team Carwin vs. Team Nelson” will be a two-hour elimination episode, in which the 32 TUF hopefuls are immediately cut down to 16, who will then be divvy’d up by coaches Shane Carwin and Roy Nelson (a former TUF winner himself). From the press release: “Carwin and Nelson are two guys who just can’t stand each other and Roy and I haven’t exactly seen eye to eye either — he’s been a nightmare for me to work with on this show with all his stupid BS,” said UFC president Dana White. Oh God, Dana. Please tell me you didn’t eat the special sushi.

Carwin and Nelson will fight each other at the show’s live finale on Saturday, December 15th, on FX.

(Dana White only has three looks: The “Life is Good”, The “Bouncer”, and the “Fuck You and the Horse You Crushed With Your Obesity”, displayed here.) 

If there of any of you left who haven’t grown tired of the, for lack of a better word, tiresome formula that The Ultimate Fighter has devolved into over the years, which is to say, fighters argue–>training montage–>coaches argue–>fighters argue–>actual fight, then boy do we have good news for you. Not only are you going to be treated to the verbal back-and-forth of one Roy Nelson and one Shane Carwin throughout the season, you are more than likely going to see “Big Country” and UFC President Dana White at each others throats as well, as both men have basically been taking a fat steaming dump on the others chests via various MMA media outlets lately. Metaphorically, of course.

TUF 16, which is set to debut on September 14th on FX (yep, that’s a Friday), will showcase 32 welterweights attempting to battle their way to the next interim championship of the world, but it seems the real firefight will be between Nelson and White, who just can’t seem to get along on anything. Take for instance, the TUF 10 winner’s recent interview with MMAJunkie, where he basically calls Dana a lying wannabe fighter:

[The onset tension is] probably because he wants to be a fighter, and he’s not. I think we were talking about coaching or something like that, and [White's] not a coach. There’s an understanding of being a fighter, and I don’t think he understands. 

I’m always at the back of the bus when it comes to the UFC. I’m just trying to further MMA to the next level, hold journalism up to higher standards, holding fights to higher standards, holding promotions to higher standards, holding athletic commissions to higher standards, and even holding the fans to higher standards. 

You never know with Dana. Dana will tell you guys one thing, and then five minutes later tell you another. Last week, ‘Shogun’ and Brandon Vera were fighting for the title, and now all of the sudden, Machida and Ryan Bader are, too. Next thing you know, he’s going to say Randy Couture gets the next title shot when he comes back.

“You think that’s funny? This motherfucker on my left THINKS HE’S A WELTERWEIGHT!”

Finding someone who still gets excited about The Ultimate Fighter is a lot like watching a guy wearing a gi or a Luchador mask in a cage fight: It’s a throwback to the days when our sport was arguably more pure and definitely more innocent. It’s oddly refreshing, incredibly confusing and somewhat disturbing, all at the same time. It’s the type of encounter that you’ll look back on a few months from now and say something like “Remember when we went to that event in the middle of nowhere and they let a guy compete wearing a Psicosis mask?” (Come on, stranger things have happened) or “Remember that night at The Korova when we met that guy who was all about TUF Live?”

That being said, TUF 16 actually looks like it has some promise. At the very least, head coaches Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin should provide some entertaining antics and some original trash talk. The fact that the two were originally set to fight each other at UFC 125 is a nice touch, too. And earlier today, Shane Carwin told MMAJunkie.com that UFC Heavyweight and one of MMA’s most recognizable personalities Pat Barry will be a part of his TUF 16 coaching staff.

If anything else, Carwin and company should be able to revolutionize the TUF coaches ribbing, which, let’s face it, has become pretty stale, predictable and disturbing throughout the history of the show. Looking over the rest of his coaching staff, his fighters will have one hell of a coaching staff to learn from. They’re listed for you after the jump.

(For his final masterpiece, Michelangelo decided to pay tribute to the Biblical hero’s fall from grace through the medium of hamstone. The results were shocking, yet delicious.)

As is likely the case for most of you, we here at CagePotato are more than willing to admit that we all but completely missed out on the failed experiment that was TUF Live. The placement of the show on Friday nights, the rehashed trash-talk and pranks between coaches; it just seemed all too played out and tired to really get us hooked. The fact that Dominick Cruz tore his ACL with only a couple episodes to go only furthered our belief that the season would have been a complete loss if not for the uplifting story of the season’s lightweight winner, Don Cheadle (or something like that).

So when Dana White informed USA TODAY Sports yesterday that the coaches for this season would be polar opposite heavyweights Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin, it more than piqued our interest. Aside from being the winner of the show’s tenth (and arguably least talent filled) season, TUF: Heavyweights, Nelson is by all accounts, one entertaining and funny sumbitch. Carwin, on the other hand, has shown before that he is up for a good joshing as long as it is not aimed at him. If you recall, the last time we got on Carwin’s bad side, Old Dad packed up his things, fled, faked his death, died his eyebrows, and attended his own funeral as a man named Phil Schiffley. The last we heard, he was still reporting on all things MMA from a one man vessel in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean out of fear that “The Engineer” was still looking for him. So clearly, the potential for hilarity between these two on the set is higher than Nelson’s cholesterol levels.

(So that will be the only ‘TUF Live’ trophy ever produced? EBAY THAT SHIT, BRO!!!!)

The Ultimate Fighter‘s switch to a live-fight format for their debut on FX was a promising change-of-pace for a show that desperately needed to break out of its rut. But considering the season’s declining ratings — with several of episodes breaking new records for low viewership — the gimmick clearly didn’t drive as much interest as the UFC hoped it would.

With the 16th season of TUF already slated to premiere in September, UFC president Dana White confirmed to Yahoo! yesterday that the series will return to its original pre-taped format. Though White says he loved the live format, it hindered the show’s ability to delve into the fighters’ lives, create storylines, and preview upcoming episodes. As for the Friday night time-slot, which was generally thought to be a limiting factor for the show’s ratings, we’re stuck with it for now:

(Best frenemies forever.)

Through the majority of their parallel UFC careers, Stephan Bonnar has played second-banana to Forrest Griffin. The relationship started with Griffin’s career-launching win over Bonnar in their classic brawl at the first Ultimate Fighter finale in 2005; a rematch the following year resulted in the American Psycho going home with another decision loss and a steroid suspension. While Griffin was winning the UFC light-heavyweight title in 2008, Bonnar was on the sidelines due to injuries, and though Griffin occasionally ate a humiliating loss, Bonnar’s losses were even more embarrassing.

But lately, the two men have begun to shift trajectories. A not-quite-motivated Griffin suffered an ugly knockout against Mauricio Rua in Brazil last year, and is now booked in a relatively needless trilogy fight against Tito Ortiz in July. With Forrest in a holding pattern, Bonnar is now riding a three-fight win streak, with W’s over Krzysztof Soszynski, Igor Pokrajac, and Kyle Kingsbury. In other words, Griffin might be heading down the mountain, while Bonnar is somehow reaching another peak in his career — which makes it an ideal time for the two rivals to meet one last time, perhaps at the end of an Ultimate Fighter gig that would bring their lives full circle. At least, that’s how Bonnar sees it. Here’s what he told MMAJunkie Radio: