(The super absorbent Shampow belt currently sells for $19.95, but if you call within the next ten minutes, because we can’t do this all day, we’ll throw in a baby for just the price of shipping and handling.) 

It has been a very frustrating couple of years for M-1 Light Heavyweight champion and TUF 8 finalist Vinny Magalhaes. After winning the M-1 belt with a mounted gogoplata submission over Victor Nemkov in April of 2011, then defending it with a head kick TKO of Mikhail Zayats the following October, Magalhaes found himself in a bit of contract limbo with the well documented shysters at M-1. In short, they refused to offer him any more fights under his current contract while simultaneously trying to ink him a new one. Like we said, shysters.

Anyway, after nearly a year on the shelf, Magalhaes got desperate. So desperate, in fact, that he tried selling his belt on Ebay, which was valued at an astounding $99,999 before it was suddenly pulled off the market for reasons that have yet to be explained. However, it appears that Vinny has finally reached an agreement (re: his mercifully release) with his M-1 counterparts, as word has broke that the champ, who has gone 7-1 since being ousted from the UFC following a pair of losses to Ryan Bader and Elliot Marshall, will return to the sport’s highest promotion at UFC 151, which goes down from the Mandalay Bay in Vegas on September 1st. His opponent has yet to be named, but Tatame has the scoop:

Vinny “Pezao” Magalhaes is back to the UFC. The light heavyweight, who lost to Ryan Bader on the TUF 8 Finale, signed a contract with the organization and is set to fight at UFC 151, on September 1^st, TATAME learned with sources.

Videos of Magalhaes’ title win and defense await you after the jump, along with the skinny on a potential signing in the UFC’s flyweight division.

(When he isn’t fighting, you can find Jimmo at a Karaoke bar.)

Arguably Canada’s top light-heavyweight fighter, Ryan “The Big Deal” Jimmo raised eyebrows when he turned down an MFC title bout against promotional newcomer Glover Texeira earlier this year because he felt that the Brazilian hadn’t done enough to earn a the opportunity to fight for the strap. Jimmo had to win seven fights in the MFC to be considered for a shot, and figured that anyone else he would have to fight for the belt should have to at least win one fight under the organization’s banner to earn the same..

His decision was met with an even split of support and opposition, but the St. John, New Brunswick native stood by his convictions and was eventually offered another shot at the title vacated by Trevor Prangley against MFC veteran, Dwayne Lewis at MFC 28 on February 25.

If you’re unfamiliar with Jimmo, you likely won’t be for long as 2011 promises to be a breakout year for the two-time Pan-Am medalist and four-time Canadian national karate champion who is riding a 13-fight win streak into his bout with Lewis – a fighter he defeated by decision three years ago.

In 2008 he appeared on the first episode of The Ultimate Fighter 8, but lost a very close majority decision to Antwain Britt and was sent home.

Since then he switched camps and moved from Nova Scotia to Edmonton where he joined the Hayabusa Fight Team, becoming a more well rounded fighter as a result of his hard work, diverse training partners and methods.

Ryan has offered to give the Potato Nation and inside look at his training and thoughts heading into his fight in February and as such he will be doing an exclusive training camp blog for us every week for the next eight weeks leading up to MFC 28.

Check out his first entry after the jump.

The UFC has released the finalized lineup and bout order for UFC Fight Night 18, which will go down April 1st at the Sommet Center in Nashville. Leading up to the main event between the WEC’s final welterweight champion Carlos Condit (who has won his last eight fights) and Martin Kampmann (who is 5-1 in the UFC) will be three televised bouts featuring alumni from The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir — all of whom are undefeated in their professional careers.

Lightweight winner Efrain Escudero (11-0) will take on the heavy-handed Jeremy Stephens (14-4), who’s coming off a submission loss to Joe Lauzon at Fight Night 17 earlier this month. The infamous Junie Browning (3-0) will get a big step up in competition when he faces ATT submission specialist and TUF 5 alum Cole Miller (14-3). And in the light-heavyweight division, TUF 8′s 205-pound winner Ryan Bader (8-0) will welcome Carmelo Marrero (10-2) back to the Octagon. The official lineup is below:

MAIN CARD
Carlos Condit vs. Martin Kampmann (WW)
Efrain Escudero vs. Jeremy Stephens (LW)
Ryan Bader vs. Carmelo Marrero (LHW)
Junie Browning vs. Cole Miller (LW)

(Ryan Bader, mid-"Woo!" Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

According to the Nevada State Athletic Commission’s list of medical suspensions issued after Saturday’s Ultimate Fighter 8 finale, newly-minted light-heavyweight winner Ryan Bader may not be immediately ready to begin his post-TUF career in the UFC due to a possible injury to his right hand. Bader must get the hand x-rayed and cleared by a doctor; without an official go-ahead, he’ll be out of action until June 9th.

Kevin Burns — who should just be happy to still be breathing after being knocked half-dead by a vicious Anthony Johnson head-kick — has to serve a mandatory suspension until February 9th with no contact until January 25th for possible left-orbital and left-ankle fractures. If his injuries aren’t cleared by a doctor, he could also be out until June 9th. Six other fighters from the event also took home medical suspensions — details are after the jump.

(I owe you a beer, Efrain.)

This Yahoo! MMA Experts post about how favorite-playing bettors got killed at the TUF 8 finale inspired me to share my own experience from the event. On Friday, I opened a BetUS account to do my first-ever fight wagering with real money. (I’d already bet my esophagus on UFC 85, and took heavy losses.) I went easy for my first go-round, spreading $100 over five fights, and wound up losing $25 of it — not awesome for someone who claims to be an expert on this shit. Some highlights:

Biggest Win: Efrain Escudero ($20 bet for $55 profit)
Had we known that Phillipe Nover had no answer for Efrain’s takedowns, he obviously wouldn’t have been such a heavy favorite coming into the fight. Even with what we knew beforehand, I always thought that Nover/Escudero was a toss-up, with both guys carrying equal amounts of talent. I think the betting line fell prey to the "next Anderson Silva, next GSP" hype that was pumping up Nover, and EE’s +275 was too juicy not to take.

Worst “My Fault” Loss: $10 on Jules Bruchez
This kind of dumbassery is how sportsbooks make their money. My thought process was, “Eliot Marshall shouldn’t be -600 against anybody.” But that’s no reason to put cash on the other guy. Bruchez looked hopeless in his quarterfinal loss to Vinny on the show, and I should have known that he’d get owned by another BJJ ace. Still, the idea of turning my ten-spot into $40 was too seductive. What can I say, I’m a rube.

(Photos courtesy of UFC.com)

After a long, arduous, bodily-fluid-filled season of The Ultimate Fighter, we’ve finally made it to the end. It’s time to see who’s worthy of the hype, who’s ready for the big show, who’s taking home the six-figure contracts. If you’re not psyched for this, go watch Bromance you freakin’ fairy. For everyone else, hit that "Read More" link and refresh the page every few minutes for live round-by-round updates and commentary.

SPOILER ALERT: This liveblog kicks off at 9 p.m. ET, but the broadcast is tape-delayed on the West Coast (and possibly other parts of the country). Check your local listings, and keep in mind that we may be writing about things you haven’t seen yet. So if you’re coming in, scroll carefully.

(Props: MMA Weekly)

Weigh-ins for The Ultimate Fighter 8 finale went down earlier today at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, and every fighter successfully made weight — except for Wilson Gouveia, who came in four pounds heavy for his middleweight tilt against Jason MacDonald. Way to set a good example for the new guys, Will. Full results are below…

MAIN CARD
Efrain Escudero (156) vs. Phillipe Nover (155)
Ryan Bader (205) vs. Vinicius Magalhaes (205)
Kevin Burns (171) vs. Anthony Johnson (171)
Wilson Gouveia (189) vs. Jason MacDonald (184)
Junie Browning (156) vs. Dave Kaplan (156)

UNDERCARD
Shane Primm (202) vs. Krzysztof Soszynski (205)
Jules Bruchez (205) vs. Eliot Marshall (203)
Kyle Kingsbury (205) vs. Tom Lawlor (204)
Shane Nelson (156) vs. George Roop (153)
Roli Delgado (155) vs. John Polakowski (152)

Update from UFC.com: "Gouveia did not make weight and for safety reasons, the Nevada State Athletic Commission won’t allow him to make a second weight cutting attempt. The bout will go on at a catch weight of 189 pounds, and Gouveia will forfeit 20% of his purse to MacDonald." Weigh-in photos are here.

This afternoon I got a chance to meet up with The Ultimate Fighter 8 lightweight finalist Phillipe "The Filipino Assassin" Nover at Fighthouse in New York City. (Coincidentally, this is the gym where I’ve been taking Muay Thai lessons for the last two months. So yeah, I guess you could say I’m pretty badass.) Anyway, Nover was cool enough to chat with me about his match-up with Efrain Escudero at the TUF 8 finale next Saturday, working as a registered nurse, living without bathroom privacy as a reality TV star, and his official prediction for Bader vs. Vinny; he also had a special shout-out for his Filipino fans. Later, he hit pads and rolled with a couple guys from his Team Insight crew, and tried to stay loose despite the fact that we were surrounded by a bunch of dudes with sniper rifles and one guy who was, no shit, wearing a terrorist-style dynamite vest (proof at the end of the video). Never a dull moment at Fighthouse. Thanks to Spike TV for the invite.

(BG)

(Junie would never accept a "Hertz donut" from Efrain ever again.)

During the entire season of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir, lightweight standout Efrain Escudero blogged his reactions to each new episode, right here on CagePotato.com. And wouldn’t you know it, the son-of-a-bitch is going to the finals (congrats, Efrain)! Check out what he has to say about episodes 11 and 12, and let him know how you feel in the comments section.

***

So the day is finally here, the biggest fight of my life. As I’m preparing in my room I just start to think back on how it all started. Who would have thought wrestling in junior high would have turned into this — whooping ass on national television. Since the semi-final matches were announced, everyone was itching to get back in the ring and get their shot at glory.

First, Bader and Elliot fought. Do you guys remember back in earlier episodes I said it wasn’t a good idea for Elliot to call out Bader? Well that was pretty much it; Bader controlled the fight and pretty much just muscled out a victory by decision — so the scoreboard reads Team Nog: 1, Team Mir: 0.

Everything in the house is pretty chill at this point, as these fights are so important; I was in the zone, blocking out everything around me. I could only focus on one thing and that was finishing Junie. The guy just runs his mouth a little too much and all I wanted to do was put my fist in there to close it up.

Now it’s the semis for the other spot in the LW finals — Roop vs. Nover. Now don’t get me wrong, I like George — hell, we have been friends for quite some time before coming on this show. But George got worked. Phillipe came out dropping bombs, the fight then went to the ground and Phillipe worked a Kimura. Phillipe looked pretty good out there. So now the score board reads Team Nog: 2, Team Mir: 0.

Was it me or did anyone else think there hadn’t been a good Junie tantrum in quite some time?? I’m skipping the Krystof vs. Vinny fight. Vinny landed a sick arm-bar, case closed, Team Nog: 2, Team Mir: 1.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back the Junie Browning show. It had been gone way to long — I sure as hell didn’t miss it. So watching the show last night I get to see how terrified Junie actually was, which was hilarious especially when he was trying to give his spot to Shane. It finally hit Junie: HE ISN’T ANY GOOD.

("Okay, my turn next," said Stankie, taking off his pants.)

Efrain‘s guest blog is going to be a little late this week, but we wanted to get up at least a small post about last night’s TUF double-header so you could discuss it, if you wanted to, in the comments section. Basically, here’s what happened:

Ryan Bader def. Eliot Marshall via boring fucking wrestling
Phillipe Nover def. George Roop via storm/kimura
Vinny Magalhaes def. K-Sos via scary, scary, high-level jiu-jitsu
Efrain Escudero def. Junie Browning via submission (punishment)

Of course, Browning actually competing in his semi-final match was a story in itself. Discouraged by his performance in practice, Browning announced to Frank Mir that he was quitting the competition; Mir had no objection. Back at the house, Browning threw a coffee mug at Shane Primm and started swinging at him. When the dust settled, Dana White stopped by to play psychologist, asked the guys if they wanted to kick Junie off or beat him off — we’d assume that Tom Lawlor voted "beat him off" — and convinced Junie to stay. Oh, and the best part? Junie is going to be on the main card of the TUF 8 finale, solely on the basis of being a ridiculous head-case. (Fittingly, he’ll be fighting Dave Kaplan, the runner-up to Junie’s reality-show dumbass crown.)

For the record, Junie places most of the blame for his loss to Efrain on having awful cardio. As he writes in his final blog entry for UFC.com:

Reminder: Bounce to Spike TV directly after WEC 37 tonight for the final two episodes of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir, which will feature all four of the season’s semi-final matchups. They will be:

Efrain Escudero vs. Junie Browning (LW)
Phillipe Nover vs. George Roop (LW)
Ryan Bader vs. Eliot Marshall (LHW)
K-Sos vs. Vinny Magalhaes (LHW)

Some TUF fans claim to have already seen a promo on Spike that inadvertently spoiled the results. (Only click this link if you dig potential spoilers.) In other UFC news…

— MMA Mania reports that a lightweight bout between Kurt Pellegrino and Rob Emerson is in the works for Ultimate Fight Night 17 (February 7th, Las Vegas). Both men are coming off wins, with Pellegrino most recently defeating Thiago Tavares by decision at UFC 88, and Emerson scoring a 12-second knockout of Manny Gamburyan at UFC 87. Emerson has gone 6-0 with one no-contest in his last seven fights — not bad for a guy who started his MMA career with a 2-6 record.

(John Polakowski has the best bro-clinch in the game.)

In this week of The Ultimate Fighter it was the last fight before the semi-finals. We are getting down to the wire. The two guys who are fighting, John Polakowski and George Roop, are both real good friends of mine. Me and George go way back since the Arizona days; John is just a guy I met in the house but how can you not like him? He just loves life. Him and his hugs, and you gotta love his saying “FIRE THE CANNONS!!!!”

Before the fight everyone is expecting a prank but who would do it to which guy first? They decided to pull the prank on John and his Lucky Charms. That was a mistake!! I thought it was hilarious due to the fact that they took the time to remove every marshmallow from the box. After all, they are the best part. John was pissed. He announced no more hugs for the blue team — he means business. He is like a man possessed. During training I’d been working with John on his wrestling. I know George has some good ground game so I wanted to help out my teammate.

During George’s training with Team Mir, he got his hand caught up in the cage and it was fucked up. It looked like a surgical balloon had been blown up. George is a tough dude so I knew he would be out there anyway. I thought this would give a definite advantage to John. Closer to fight time John started to become his old self again, and decided that he and George would hug before the fight. This was hilarious — I personally wouldnt be able to do that, especially with the guy standing in the way of a six-figure contract to the UFC. But hey, that’s John for you.

(Come on now, Antonio, that simply isn’t true.)

Let the drunken debauchery begin again. After Dave Kaplan’s fight, Tom Lawlor decided to get drunk with Kaplan. They began to drink each other’s piss, which in itself is just disgusting. But these guys were downing them like shots of tequila. The sad thing is they did not even show the grossest part. Kyle Kingsbury took a plate and a towel into the bathroom and came out with nice big hot steamy Lincoln Log on a platter. He told the guys he would give some cash to whoever eats it. Tom held a piece up to his mouth but couldn’t go through with it. The pot kept getting bigger with us all chipping in, but no one went through with it. I hope they put that on the DVD…GOOD TIMES.

To quote Smokey from Friday — Kaplan “got knocked the Fuck out, Man!” That was even funnier watching it than hearing about it. Kaplan is an extremely smart guy but sometimes I question his intelligence by first asking for someone to “try” and knock him out. Second for not admitting that he got knocked out knowing full well it was on camera. There is one issue with Kaplan and that is he will not admit when he is wrong. He’s a bit delusional. He can’t get knocked out, he is the best looking guy in the house, and he gets more chicks than anybody. The list could go on.

The prank on Krzysztof Soszynski was pretty funny and only fitting since he initiated the pranks-before-fights ritual. It didn’t take much time for us to put all the stuff in his room. It was funny to see that his teammates didn’t help. His prank in return actually made his team upset too. It must have taken a lot of time but everybody in the house was affected. Krzysztof had to take all the stuff in himself.

(Does that look infected to you? Photo courtesy of myspace.com/allen_browning)

Following in the footsteps of fighters like Mac Danzig and Amir Sadollah, Junie Browning is the latest Ultimate Fighter notable to re-focus his training at Xtreme Couture in Las Vegas. MMA Weekly has confirmed that Browning started training with the camp about a week and a half ago, and so far he hasn’t tried to throw training equipment into the hot tub or jump off the roof:

“He’s been very quiet in the gym, there’s been no antics, there’s been no nothing,” [Randy] Couture said. “He shows up everyday and straps his gloves on and gets his work done.”

In other words, he’s functioning like a normal person, which is quite an achievement for the Kentucky native. At any rate, he’ll be whipped into shape by the team at XC, which includes UFC lightweights Tyson Griffin and Gray Maynard — who hopefully haven’t taken Junie’s “boring fucking wrestlers” comments too personally.

Related: Junie’s latest TUF blog for UFC.com is up, where he discusses the wave of interviews he had to do last week, Team Nog’s family-vibe, and the Jules/Vinny scrap (“To be honest, I don’t think Jules could have won a fight at 155″).

During this week of The Ultimate Fighter, we start off with the Junie fight recap. This guy ran his mouth and couldn’t finish Rolando. In my eyes Rolando could have beat Junie if he would have kept behind his jab. I really wanted to jump the cage and ask him how it feels!!! I had to stop myself because knowing Junie he would have gone absolutely crazy, but oh well, I’ll just have to wait and see what the semi-finals have in store for me.

We started having some fun in practice, even though our practices were always different. We played some games on couple of the days which made me forget about fighting for a while. It reminded me that I was there to enjoy my time there and train hard; there is a time to have fun and a time to work. I really needed it at the time. Meanwhile the other team continued to get upset at us because we were enjoying ourselves and they were miserable.

Then we have Coach Nogueira’s birthday. He could have gone out and had a great time — after all, it is Las Vegas — but he decided to come to the house and hang out with us. We cooked dinner and baked him a cake which was a pretty good time I was glad I could be a part of it, and you see that it really meant a lot to him. Once again the blue team hated on us for this. Let’s face it, that’s all they know how to do at this point. In the house guys talk, that’s a given, but then Vinny started saying that he was better on the ground than Coach Nogueria!!! Word got out to Nogueira, and he didn’t take to it kindly. Coach confronted Vinny, which caused a big scene around the house. Me personally, I would never say that about any of my coaches because I think that my coach is there to help me; not for me to prove anything.

Junie finally got to fight this week. He had been talking all this crap about Rolando Delgado not making it out of the first round. At first I thought this was by the far the dumbest thing I had heard all season, but Junie is good at making people get that impression. At the house people started questioning Roli’s black belt. I didn’t need to question the man — he wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t legit. During the fight announcement Junie brought a black belt with him, and decided it would be cool for the cameras to throw it at Rolando’s face and then spit on it. I couldn’t believe this. It was very disrespectful not only to Rolando but to everyone who has worked for that belt. I don’t have a belt but I know people out there who live behind theirs, and to spit on it is ridiculous. Even Anderson Silva was there and when I was talking to him he was telling me that he disliked Junie. I don’t know about you, but if I found out that Anderson didn’t like me I wouldn’t want to make him mad.

Now back at the house, Junie wouldn’t shut his mouth talking about how good he was and that Rolando wouldn’t have a chance. I think he was trying to get into Roli’s head and at some point I was thinking that he was, but Rolando took it very well and just went with it. Junie is the type of guy that wants to be talked about no matter what you’re saying about him; he just wants to be remembered. So weigh-ins arrive and Junie was having a hard time making weight. I started tell Rolando to look at Junie and told him he’s going to be weak tomorrow because he’s really hurting to make weight. Finally he made weight, and I was happy for him because I wanted to see if he could really back all that shit up.

(Team Nog smears sardines on the hearts that Tom Lawlor spent all week airbrushing. Seriously, though, what is up with this goddamned room? Does Abigail Breslin live in the TUF house too?)

During this week of The Ultimate Fighter you all got to see the final reaction with Junie jumping the cage and calling me out. What a disaster. Upon coming on to the show I knew that I had to be calm and level-headed. There was no way in hell I would throw my career away for a stupid fight over pride. That was the only thing that was going through my head when he jumped the cage. So I just kept cool and collected and no hard feelings — after all, it’s just Junie.

After that episode of Junie TV, I decided to continue being me and doing what I was doing. So I put on my smirk. After my fight with Shane the guys pulled a prank on me and put my underwear in the freezer. Which at the time I thought was pretty funny, nothing but a harmless prank. The Red Team and I searched high and low all over that place, and finally found them in the bottom of the freezer. Good one, ha-ha, but soon things escalated and went a little further. They put itching powder on the Red Team’s beds which was horrible. After a long day and an even longer hunt for my underwear all I wanted to do was sleep — then my body starts to itch along with Kyle and some of the other guys. Needless to say we were upset. Messing with a fighters underwear is one thing but messing with his sleep…not cool.

After that it was time to hit the old laundry room. It took me about an hour to get my sheets clean and I was pretty pissed about that. After the itching powder scene, Kyle and the gang decided to get sardines and put them all over the Blue Team’s room. It smelled horrible. Mir’s team gets home and they were not very happy about it, especially Vinny. Vinny definitely took it the wrong way and for some reason I got the worst end of it. The man PISSED on my pillow. To be completely honest it was not a big deal for me, it was like whatever. Once again I have to make sure I keep my head — no way I am going to blow my shot at the UFC. I just ordered a new pillow, no worries. However, just the fact that he pissed on my pillow was pretty bad in itself. I decided not to retaliate and stay focused on my game plan.

(Believe it or not, this is how AZ rolls, baby, all day.)

Every Thursday, Team Nogueira member Efrain Escudero blogs his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter, exclusively on CagePotato.com. Don’t forget to check out the new fan section on EfrainEscudero.com, where you can interact with other EE fans and Efrain himself.

***

During this week of The Ultimate Fighter we had a lot of drama. First we were watching UFC 84: ILL WILL, and it was the only time we get to see television the entire time we are there. Junie and Shane start drinking, and I mean drinking. Since we’ve been in the house we have noticed that when Junie drinks we have to be on the look out and watch each other’s backs because he tries to fight us. Right after the angry Junie comes the crying Junie, and we don’t understand why.

As the fights continue I try to get Shane mad by telling him that BJ Penn was going to lose. I knew that wasn’t going to happen, but I just wanted to make it an exciting fight, and try to get Shane more excited about watching BJ win. That was not the smartest thing I could have done because he had been drinking and he was teaming up with Junie, so I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. As the night progresses, Junie tries to fight with Kyle. I don’t know why he would ever try to even attempt that because Kyle would kick his ass if it really came down to it. So Junie throws a glass at Kyle and the damn thing breaks and cuts him. Luckily for Kyle it didn’t cut him badly and even luckier for Junie, Kyle could restrain himself.

Junie, Junie, Junie. [*shakes head*]

Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter started with the guys peacefully watching UFC 84, you know, just minding their own business. We see several highlights of Lyoto Machida beating up on Tito Ortiz. (So Dana White edits this show too? Impressive.) Inevitably, the evening is ruined by Junie Allen Goddamned Browning, who goes through a few bottles of chardonnay with Shane Nelson. Junie starts screwing with Team Nogueira, throws his drink in Kyle Kingsbury’s face, and then the glass, which breaks and cuts KK’s arm. This creates the major engine in the episode’s drama: Junie becomes convinced that he’s getting kicked out of the house for injuring his housemate, so he might as well self-destruct completely.

Shane Nelson, who “has the alcohol tolerance of a 12-year-old girl,” starts harassing Ryan Bader, then Roli Delgado, then Efrain Escudero; he shoves Roli and Efrain, trying to bait one of them into a fight, but they keep their respective cools. Junie and Shane are the Toxic Twins, feeding off each other’s bullshit, doing their best to out-do the other. They start throwing furniture into the pool.

Eventually, the other guys go outside to observe the damage. Junie gets in K-Sos’s face. “I wish y’all were my size,” he says to the light-heavyweights. K-Sos, the passive-aggressive prankster, gently places Junie’s clothes in the pool after he dives in. When Junie finds them, he’s understandably upset. K-Sos, unlike his last prank on light-heavyweight Ryan Bader, claims ownership for this one. Junie calls him a bitch. K-Sos calmly explains, “You’re the bitch. You are the biggest bitch of them all.” Bader throws Junie’s stuff back in the pool, and Junie drags him in, then kicks Tom LOL’er when him and Bader are pulled out. After a while, he cools off and tells everyone how much he likes them. What a bitch.

(Click the image to watch the video; photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

MMA Payout passes along the bad news that Wednesday’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter drew a 0.8 rating, making it the lowest-rated episode in the show’s history. (“The program drew quarter hours of 0.80, 0.66, 0.79, and 0.90.”) Who knows if Junie Allen Browning’s train-wreck antics will attract more people to the show or repel them, but it’s clear that his little storyline is going to get even more outrageous next week. Check out the TUF preview clip linked above, which shows Junie and his tremendous set of balls dragging Ryan Bader into the pool, kicking Tom Lawlor, and shoving Bas Rutten-lookalike K-Sos. Sure, Tom’s a total pussy, but I wouldn’t fuck with those other two unless I had a death wish. Of course, the reason that his housemates don’t murder the wee bastard is because they don’t want to jeopardize the opportunity they’ve been given to be on the show. What a concept…

Previously: Junie Browning ‘Somewhat Embarassed’ by TUF Behavior

Every Thursday morning, Team Nogueira member Efrain Escudero will give his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter on CagePotato.com. Here’s what he had to say about last night’s installment, from the team-picking to the drunken drama.

***

After Dana sent the losing fighters home, we piled into the vans and made our first trip into the house. This was a great moment not only for me but also for the other 15 guys. When we walked into the house we were jacked. This isn’t some ordinary house — this place is LEGIT. We all took a look around and then rushed to pick our beds. I must say we were pretty slick to get a room on the bottom floor so when we’re tired from training or a night of boozing we don’t need to be struggling up a bunch of stairs. At this point I was still very happy, because I was a big fan of The Ultimate Fighter from the beginning and now I’m in the house where it all started. At this point we start bonding with one another — people start talking shit, joking around, just trying to break the ice and get a feel for each other.

After touring the house we go to the training center where Dana kicks Karn and Brian out due to injury. Brian’s injury was unexpected; on the other hand Karn was an idiot because he wanted to go to the doctor after they told him “Hey, your hand is ok!” He asked for a second opinion, and now he gets kicked out. GOOD JOB BUDDY, NEXT TIME THEY SAY IT’S OK THEN THAT MEANS IT’S OK. After that they brought back Kyle Kingsbury, and I was glad because he had a tough fight to get into the house. I really like Kyle — he’s a nice guy who loves to have fun, so why wouldn’t I like him? Now I have to thank Karn because if it wasn’t for him and his second opinion Kyle wouldn’t be with us in the house.

The second time we went to the training center for the team picks, Frank Mir was talking to Bader and I, telling us that he’ll be taking his team out to the river to go shooting and all these cool things, so at that point I wanted to be in his team; it sounded like fun. Ryan and I ended up getting picked by Nogueira, but I really didn’t care because I was ready to get after it.

(G’night, Tom.)

In last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, teams were picked, hearts were broken, underwear was shrink-wrapped, gallons of alcohol were consumed, and the first light-heavyweight got knocked out of contention. Let’s get to it…

The show starts and Junie is drinking already. We get the first (ever?) glimpse of the TUF liquor closet, where quality is made up for with quantity. K-Sos, despite his intimidating appearance, is presented as one of the good guys of the house — a steak-sharer, not a street-fighter.

Brian McLaughlin and Karn Grigoryan, who sustained nose-fractures in their elimination matches, are slapped with 180-day suspensions from the NSAC and are ordered to go home. They hang around the gym in shock until Dana breaks the silence with “Go ‘head guys, you gotta walk out the door there.” Kyle Kingsbury, who looked sharp in his opening-round loss to Ryan Bader, is brought back to replace Grigoryan. Brian will be replaced by a mystery lightweight who flew home before he could be called back again.

Frank Mir wins the coin toss, and opts for first fighter pick. The picks shake out like this…

Mir: K-Sos, Vinny Magalhaes, Eliot Marshall, Tom Lawlor, Junie Browning, Shane Nelson, Dave Kaplan, George Roop
Nog: Ryan Bader, Shane Primm, Kyle Kingsbury, Jules Bruchez, Phillipe Nover, Efrain Escudero, John “Huggy Bear” Polakowski, Mr. X

(Photo courtesy of MySpace.com/effyescudero)

Efrain Escudero is a 22-year-old Southwest MMA product who has built up a flawless 10-0 record fighting primarily in his home state of Arizona. Every Thursday morning, the TUF 8 lightweight will be blogging his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir for CagePotato.com. There wasn’t much to discuss in last night’s episode — other than the fact that Efrain earned a spot in the house with a quick choke-out of Ido Pariente — but going forward, Efrain will give us the inside scoop about what happened on and off camera, and his experience living with 15 other crazy sons-a-bitches. To learn more about Efrain, check out EfrainEscudero.com.

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After sitting and waiting through all the other fights, I was getting very anxious to step into the cage and earn my spot into the house. As more and more fighters got their names called I had only one thing on my mind: WINNING. Sitting there, I started to think about my upcoming fight and I began to worry. I found out that I would be fighting out of the red corner. The red team’s coaches would help me warm up and would be cornering me throughout my fight. So the fights begin and I don’t know anybody there, I don’t know my corner men, so this is uncharted waters for me. But worrying is like a rocking chair — you can go back and forth but you won’t get anywhere — so I decided to start warming up for my fight.

Since my corner men were coaching fighters in the cage, I decided to hit the bag for a while, but I still didn’t feel like I was ready for the biggest fight of my life. I quit hitting the bag and started running to prepare myself and get focused. At this point I was stuck in my own world — I wasn’t even paying attention to the other fights going on. Next thing I know it’s my turn. Once I heard the cage door shut behind me, I knew there was no way I was walking out without earning a bed in that house.

A few minutes later I was walking out of the Octagon feeling like a million bucks because I know I’m going to the best place to be in the world. Being there while Dana was sending all the other fighters home was a crazy situation. I was sitting with a handful of guys who had their dreams crushed, who knew they might never get another opportunity like this. Looking around at the remaining guys I still had no clue about them and I couldn’t be happier. But enough about everybody else…it’s time to start training.

Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter didn’t waste any time before getting into the fights, so we won’t either. Here’s how Block B of the round-of-32 shook out:

Wesley Murch vs. John Polakowski (155): Murch is a Brit who quotes Winston Churchill. Polakowski is an ADHD-sufferer who loves hugging people. Murch takes Polakowski down right away, finds nothing from top position, then goes for a heelhook and loses it. Polakowski gets on top and passes to side control, but Murch works his way out and stands up. After a good knee from Polakowski, the fight moves back to the ground where Murch takes Polakowski’s back. Polakowski reverses and ends up in Murch’s guard. Back on the feet, Murch throws a kick and falls to the ground; the round ends with Polakowski on top, throwing punches. It turns out that Murch seriously effed up his shin when he connected with the kick, but he decides to soldier through it, stiff upper lip and all that. Limping badly at the start of the second round, Murch throws a flying knee, then collapses in agony. Polakowski freaks out as if he just knocked out BJ Penn, sprinting around the cage then bouncing out to hug Nogueira, Dana White, and Mir. Mir is visibly disgusted.

Shane Primm vs. Sean O’Connell (205): Primm and O’Connell fought with an intensity usually reserved for the 155′ers. Primm strikes first with nasty knees in a clinch, while O’Connell pressures Primm with takedown attempts and a slam. Primm rolls from his back and works hard to get an armbar. O’Connell frees his arm and briefly tries for a guillotine before the fight goes standing again. Primm lands more knees from a tight clinch, then pulls O’Connell down with a kimura. Primm scores the mount, and O’Connell rolls, allowing Primm to take his back and sink the rear-naked choke. Primm thanks Mir for the coaching. Prediction: Mir’s “NIIIIIIIIIIICE!” is going to become as annoying as Matt Serra’s “Y’GOTTA BREATHE!”

Ido Pariente vs. Efrain Escudero (155): Escudero scores a takedown after some sparring, and tries to set up a darce choke. Pariente gets up and shoots in for his own takedown, but Escudero has his neck wrapped up. The fight goes to the ground, and Escudero takes Pariente’s back and secures the rear-naked choke. Pariente tries to hang in, but he’s eventually forced to tap.

(Looks like someone’s been training with LaDainian Tomlinson! Click the image to watch the preview.)

Alright, so we probably won’t be getting any Jason Guida-esque weight cutting drama or Jose Aguilar-esque idiocy on tonight’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter (10 p.m., Spike TV) — but at least we’ll get eight more fights. Check out the episode preview above, courtesy of Spike.com, and keep it tuned to CagePotato.com over the next couple days for a guest blog from one of the fighters who advances tonight, and an interview with one of the fighters who doesn’t make it (but has a lot to say about the TUF experience).

(You don’t mess with a black man named “Lance.”)

As if their ongoing financial troubles aren’t enough of a sign that EliteXC is circling the drain, how’s this: According to FiveOuncesofPain, the House That Gary Built has just signed weight-loss failure Jason Guida (17-17) to a fight contract. (Way to pursue that world-class talent, guys. Dana White just LHFAO.) Guida will reportedly make his EliteXC debut at an October 10th ShoXC event in Hammond, Indiana, against Mamed “Cannibal” Khalidov a Chechen fighter who has primarily competed in Poland, and who has gone 11-0-1 in his last 12 fights.

5oz. also reports that Rashad Evans’s older bro Lance Evans (2-2) — who was bounced out of last night’s Ultimate Fighter elimination round after suffering a rib injury during his fight against Vinny Magalhaes — will be returning to Canada’s TKO Championship Fighting outfit, and will take on former hockey enforcer Steve Bosse at TKO 35, which goes down October 3rd at Montreal’s Bell Centre.

One more light-heavyweight TUF Guy has apparently been signed to another organization, but he’s technically still on the show, so don’t click “More” if you want to keep the Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir experience pure as the driven snow.

The season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir began not with a bang, but with a whimper: As the 32 UFC hopefuls lined up to get pep-talked by Dana White, Phillipe Nover got a case of the vapors and passed out. (Is this show hardcore or what?!) To add further embarrassment to his situation, nobody seems to know how to pronounce Nover’s first name. He says “Filip,” but everyone else decides to go with the more ethnic-sounding “fi-LEEP” or “fi-LEEP-ay.” The guys are told they’ll be given 24 hours to cut weight, and will fight the following day. Our Guamanian buddy Joe Duarte comes in ten pounds over, but it ain’t no thing to him. Jason Guida, on the other hand, comes in like 47 pounds over.

During his agonizing cutting process, Guida pukes into a toilet like a sorority girl after a big date, then cramps up completely and his team has to look at his balls flopping out of his towel (see above). A doctor checks him out and says he can weigh in one more time before he’s given IV fluids and taken to a hospital. His final score: 207. One pound away. He fucked up, and he’s furious. He tells NSAC executive director Keith Kizer that he’ll “never be forgiven.” We are treated to this classic exchange…

Guida: “Just let me do this, doc.”
Kizer: “I’m not a doc, but no.”

And Mike Stewart, who was hanging out in the parking lot for just such an opportunity, gets in as an alternate. Then it’s time for the fights…

Krzystof Soszynski vs. Mike Stewart (205): Stewart gets jacked right away with a huge left hook, and then swarmed with strikes until the ref stops it. Back to the parking lot, buddy. By the way, there’s no fucking way I’m spelling out “Krzystof Soszynski” ever again. He will be referred to as K-Sos from now on.

Fernando Bernstein vs Dave Kaplan (155): Bernstein, a man after my own Hispanojew heart, faces another nice Jewish boy in Kaplan. Bernstein seems to strictly be a kickboxer, though, and after some ferocious striking exchanges, Kaplan gets the fight to the ground and sinks in a rear-naked choke. Dana suggests that Bernstein change his nickname from “Machete” to “Butter Knife.”

(Props: CombatWire via Sean McCorkle)

As we learned on Monday, tonight’s season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir features Jason Guida nearly killing himself trying to make weight. We may never get to see him fight in the Octagon — but we do know that he’s one of the most ferocious cornermen in the world. Here he is pitching a shit-fit between rounds during a fight at a Primetime Fighting Championships event in May. Apparently the ref called for a standup at the end of the first round, which led to Guida’s boy John Murphy getting cut with a knee by Jeremy Ashley; Murphy eventually won by decision. Guida should consider himself lucky that the ref didn’t do this to him. Now if only he could put that same intensity into not eating cheese-steaks, he could be a contender.

(Photo courtesy of JoeDuarteMMA.com.)

You might remember Joe “Hybrid” Duarte as the jacked Chamorro and TUF 8 contestant who may or may not have been called out by Dana White as “the next Anderson Silva.” With all the hype he was getting, many assumed that he’d go far in the show’s lightweight bracket. Well, according to a new report on TKO Xtreme, that doesn’t seem to be the case:

[Colloseo Championship Fighting] has announced that they have signed Sinister Brand’s new blood Joe “Hybrid” Duarte and Bad Boy fighter Pat Speight to six-fight contracts. Duarte, a native of Hagatna, Guam, possesses an unblemished mixed martial arts record of 3-0. Duarte made his MMA debut in September 2006 at TC 16: Annihilation in San Diego, California. Duarte scored a hard fought split decision over fellow newcomer Chris Kennedy. Since then, Duarte has reeled off consecutive submission victories over Ulfrano Rodriguez and Randy Bowers. Duarte will be appearing on the UFC’s The Ultimate Fighter 8.

I don’t know anything about Colloseo besides the fact that they’re based in Canada and their promo videos are God awful. Here’s one thing I do know: The UFC makes all TUF contestants sign confidentiality agreements forbidding them from revealing any results from the show until they’re aired. Which means one of two things: 1) CCF just accidentally blew up Duarte’s spot, and he’s now in deep doodoo with the UFC, or 2) Duarte fucked up so bad in the house that the UFC doesn’t care if people know he’s out of the organization. Either way, don’t expect to see the dude compete at the TUF 8 finale. Sorry, Guamanians…

(Photo courtesy of MySpace.com/MinotauroBJJ)

This Wednesday at 10 p.m. on Spike TV, Antonio Rodrigo “Minotauro” Nogueira begins his duel with Frank Mir on the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter 8. The two heavyweight jiu-jitsu masters will each lead a team of eight UFC hopefuls (four lightweights and four light-heavyweights), while sizing each other up for their own fight in December; the winner will take on the winner of UFC 91′s Randy Couture/Brock Lesnar match sometime next year. Luiz De Souza chatted with Big Nog on Friday to get his thoughts on his TUF experience and the UFC’s upcoming “heavyweight tournament.”

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CAGEPOTATO.COM: In some of the past seasons of The Ultimate Fighter, the coaches built up great rivalries. Was there ever any hostility between you and Frank Mir? Did he get on your nerves in any way?
ANTONIO RODRIGO NOGUEIRA: No, there wasn’t much of that; we have a lot of respect for each other. If there were arguments they were between the fighters themselves. I went there to do my job. I went to teach the guys, with the goal of not getting involved in fights with the guys inside the house or from the show, but to train them instead. That was my idea. I did my part and Frank did his. At times I was pissed at some of them because some of the guys were picking fights inside the house, and they would lose their control. There was one who wouldn’t quit picking fights, but overall nothing too major.

What do you think of Frank, as a person and as a fighter?
He is a good fighter, very strong, and he has great jiu-jitsu skills. He is also a very cool and nice guy, but he is my opponent, so I am training to fight him.

What’s your strategy going to be when you fight him in December? Would you rather fight him on the ground or standing?
There isn’t really a strategy; my strategy is to finish him. We don’t really choose if the fight will be standing up or on the ground. Whatever happens I will be ready for it.

After he lost to Forrest Griffin, Quinton Jackson partially blamed his performance on the fact that, because of The Ultimate Fighter, he’d gone 10 months between fights. Are you concerned that your own long layoff will affect your performance?
Well, the last time Frank Mir fought was the last time I fought, so the truth is that we both have the same disadvantage. I really don’t like to go such a long time without fighting; never in my life have I gone without fighting for this long. This does make a difference, but this is my job and I will fight when the day comes.