Cholish estimates that after training costs, his paycheck from last night’s fight wasn’t enough to break even. Photo courtesy of his Twitter page.

No matter how gloriously cheesy the TapouT commercials try to make it look, life as a fighter is far from easy. Training full-time is extremely taxing on your body, promoters and fellow fighters alike can be shady, unpleasant individuals, sponsors try to stiff you, and because the pay involved is so low for most fighters, it’s all essentially just for the glory of saying you’re better at a sport than the guy across from you.

That’s why – in many ways – it should come as little surprise that UFC Lightweight also-ran John Cholish is walking away from the sport after his loss to Gleison Tibau during last night’s UFC on FX 8.

If you find yourself wondering who John Cholish is, you’re far from alone. After compiling a 7-1 record in the minor leagues – including a victory on the undercard of Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Silva – the Renzo Gracie product made his UFC debut at UFC 140, where he defeated Mitch Clarke by second round TKO. This would be the final victory of his career, as Cholish would then drop a decision to Danny Castillo during the UFC on FOX 3 undercard, lose to Gleison Tibau last night and retire from the sport. Another small fish in a big pond, whose career barely made a splash.

Perhaps fittingly, Cholish’s retirement may very well end up being the most significant part of his career. Cholish – who announced his intent to retire on Twitter shortly before the his fight – made it clear while speaking with MMAJunkie.com that the low paychecks that fighters in his position earn were his primary motivation for hanging up the gloves. Via MMAJunkie:

(Not only did he charge little Billy twenty bucks for the autograph, but he also spelled his name “G-o-f-u-c-k-y-o-u-r-s-e-l-f.” Image via Caraway’s Twitter account.)

Okay, let me get this sentence out of the way as quickly as possible: Even though he expressed his opinion in a profoundly stupid manner, perhaps Nate Diaz has a damn good point about Bryan Caraway being a less-than-admirable individual.

I’ll give you a few moments to let that sink in.

(What, were you expecting something different?)

I’m not here to fault Caraway for accepting Pat Healy’s UFC 159 Submission of the Night bonus after Healy failed his drug test – even though he was obnoxiously self-righteous about it – because if my boss offered me sixty thousand dollars I wouldn’t exactly turn it down. But allegations of hitting a woman and selling drugs? That dog won’t hunt, monsignor.

(Let’s just say that Diaz’s apology is still in the early draft stage.)

Update: Diaz has received an immediate 90-day suspension and $20,000 fine for violating the UFC’s fighter code of conduct.

Regardless of how you feel about the whole Pat Healy situation (it’s some bullshit) or Bryan Caraway’s subsequent anti-marijuana rant, it would be hard to argue that Nate Diaz expressed his opinions on the situation correctly when he called Caraway a “Fag” for “taking” Healy’s SOTN bonus. Whether he meant to offend the LGBT community or not when he typed it (our guess is that he didn’t, which his manager has also *attempted* to affirm), he probably should have known that, as a public figure, you can’t so much as call someone “lame” in the public forum without incurring the wrath of all the stump-footed people you offended shortly thereafter. It’s the world we live in, for better or for worse, and it’s also why a “Code of Conduct” was recently established in the UFC.

The fact that UFC fighters have been fired over similar (albeit much more offensive) tweets in the past should have raised some red flags, which is maybe why Diaz deleted his original tweet, then reworded it to his liking before posting it yesterday. Unfortunately for Diaz, the UFC has responded quickly and harshly, stating the following:

We are very disappointed by Nate Diaz’s comments, which are in no way reflective of our organization. Nate is currently suspended pending internal investigation and we will provide further comment once the matter has been decided.

We are going to fine, suspend or cut him. One or two of those three will happen.

(Somewhere in Indiana, Miguel Torres is breathing a sigh of relief.) 

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the single dumbest tweet of 2013. The top one.

385 retweets. 184 favorites. And counting.

Feel free to start speculating how much Diaz gets fined for this, or what his inevitable apology to the LGBT community will sound like, in the comments section.

-J. Jones

(Must…resist…shit…getting…too…real…)

As a big fan of TUF 12′s Cody McKenzie, I’ve come to realize that it’s hard to fault the guy for his nonsensical and often self-destructive decisions, especially when it comes to choosing his opponents. The man reaches for the stars, dammit, and will simply not be told that he doesn’t have the right to call out Frankie Edgar, or Jose Aldo, or Chad Mendes, despite the fact that just managed to bring his win-loss ratio in the UFC to the .500 mark.

No, “The AK Kid” wasn’t one to overthink, or even realize the fact that he had dropped 3 out of his last 4 fights heading into his do-or-die bout with Leonard Garcia at UFC 159, which is why it makes total sense that he, now a featherweight, is calling out top lightweight contender Josh Thomson, like he didn’t just save his UFC career by beating a guy on a four-fight losing streak. How can you not love this kid?

(Despite what your grandmother thinks, Twitter is not a euphemism and does not warrant a squirt of Dawn in your mouth.)

By Jason Moles

Back in 2010, the brain trust at CagePotato HQ compiled a list of the 25 most essential MMA Twitter feeds to follow. Boy, do we sure know how to pick ‘em. Miguel Torres, Kimbo Slice, Mayhem Miller, Reed Harris, Shane Carwin, and Strikeforce have all since faded out of relevance or gone off the deep end. Wait, Reed does what now? Are you sure? Nevermind — we’re back with an updated list of who you should really be following on Twitter, and this time we’ve actually put some thought into it instead of blindly tossing darts at our screen while simultaneously using a Shakeweight. Please note, this is 2013 and if you don’t already know you should be following Dana White, Arianny Celeste, or Ariel Helwani, you’re probably the reason Jon Jones is defending his title against Chael Sonnen this Saturday at UFC 159. Speaking of the gangster from West Linn…

twitter.com/sonnench

Bio: “Godfather of integrity; dual masters in dominance and modesty; once outboxed Hemingway; & author of this year’s bestseller, available NOW on Amazon”

If you thought Sonnen refused to break kayfabe only when the cameras were rolling, you must not have been paying attention because his gimmick is boundless. The People’s Champion maximizes his 140-character limit with every emasculating jab at his opponents, peers, and detractors in the MMA media. The American Gangster is the only man on Twitter to follow absolutely no one, not even his own mother.

Sample Tweet: “15 – the number of letters in the word hydropneumatics as well as Chael beats Jones. #UFC159 #4/27/13″

(“Tell me, was it regular print or construction paper that was responsible for that boo-boo?” – Martin Kampmann’s axe wound.) 

After being forced out of his fight with Gegard Mousasi at this weekend’s UFC on FUEL 9 event (a fight that would have earned him a shot at Jon Jones had he won) yesterday, light heavyweight contender Alexander Gustafsson released a photo of the cut in question earlier today, along with following statement explaining what exactly caused it (via MMAnytt):

During Thursday’s (March 28) passes as we ran wrestling exercises I lost my balance and pitched eyebrow in a very unfortunate way when I hit my head on one burpelaren. Immediately after it happened, I went to the hospital and sewed three stitches. I was quite prepared to compete until the doctors called and told me that cut is unfortunate and will not have time to heal in time until the gala.

It is of course extremely sad when träningscampet has gone very well. In addition to the eyebrow, I am in my best form and completely ready for the match. It is also sad for my opponent, Gegard Mousasi, who has also been training long and hard for this match.

I and my team have done everything we can to get set up and race despite the injury, but the decision is unfortunately not in our hands. I am extremely sorry for this and I feel with Gegard Mousasi. I also suffer with the fans who have been looking forward to this event and this match. Would also like to thank my entire team who have helped and supported me all the way. The next step now is that I sit down with the team and planning the future. 

As you know, Gustafsson was eventually replaced by training partner Ikea Laticifer (or something like that), which would be fine and all, had Dana White not tweeted this photo of Gustafsson just hours ago…

I can’t help but feel I’ve seen this picture before… (Image via adccbarcelona.com)

It has only been a few hours since we learned that Alexander Gustafsson was officially forced out of the main event of UFC on Fuel TV 9 due to a gash in his eyebrow, yet the UFC has already announced who Gegard Mousasi’s new opponent will be. No, it won’t be Wanderlei Silva. No, it won’t be Tom Lawlor, either. I know, I’m just as disappointed as you are.

Instead, Dana White took to his Twitter account to announce that UFC newcomer Ilir “The Sledgehammer” Latifi will be fighting Gegard Mousasi in the main event of UFC on Fuel TV 9. Via Twitter:

Not to be a pessimist, but when your boss misspells your name while announcing that you’ll be fighting a UFC-ranked Top Ten light-heavyweight, things aren’t exactly looking good for you.

(“You see, Georges? THIS is how you dominate someone for five full rounds without ever coming close to finishing them!”) 

Likely because he has failed to stir up any interest in the cage with his fighting style, which often feels like watching The English Patient at half speed, Bellator welterweight champion Ben Askren has become quite the prominent Twitter troll over the years. And honestly, his Twitter beefs and troll tactics have quickly become the most entertaining part of his mixed martial arts career.

Just last week, for instance, Askren lashed out at Michael Bisping — who is scheduled to face Askren’s friend/training partner Alan Belcher at UFC 159 – via one hilariously xenophobic and self-deprecating rant. And now, he’s got his sights set on UFC welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre, who apparently did not do enough in his title defense against Nick Diaz at UFC 158 to earn Askren’s much sought after hespect. Via Askren’s Twitter:

Have we seen GSPs dark side yet? Or is he saving it for rounds 4 & 5?? I saw more viscous things happen at the youth wrestling tourney!

After tonight I am 100% sure I could beat GSP… GSP is no longer an aggressive striker. He will not out wrestle or grapple me. He gets tired. Simple enough.

(“I drink coconut water because it’s the world’s greatest natural source of electrolytes. Plus, Obama has been putting cyanide in our tap water since March 2010. Open your eyes, people.” Photo via Esther Lin/Showtime)

By George Shunick

One of the more enjoyable aspects of MMA — and the athletes who participate in it – is that even as the sport has grown exponentially in popularity over the past half-decade, the personalities that comprise it have remained extraordinarily candid in their interactions with the general public. It keeps fighters down to earth relative to athletes in other sports — Chris Kluwe excluded — and creates a sense of community between the fans and fighters that is unique to MMA. Of course, every now and then, a fighter (or promoter) will take things a step too far.

Take Ronda Rousey. Just the other day she caught heat for saying that Georges St. Pierre, the most dominant champion in welterweight history and arguably the most complete fighter in the sport, was only famous because he was attractive and Canadian. After the ensuing outcry, Ronda clearly gave the matter a lot of thought and decided to be more conscious of what she said in public forums…and proceeded to tweet an “extremely interesting must watch video” suggesting the Sandy Hook massacre of 20 children and 6 adults in December was the product of a government conspiracy to push anti-gun legislation. Amidst a storm of criticism, she eventually took down the tweet hours later.

Let’s be clear: This is probably the single largest public relations blunder any prominent professional fighter has committed since Quinton “Rampage” Jackson lived up to his nickname. Rousey originally justified it by saying “I just figure asking questions and doing research is more patriotic than blindly accepting what you’re told.” Which is an interesting thing to say, considering she just blindly accepted what a YouTube video — presumably constructed by a reactionary paranoid living in his mom’s basement — told her, despite an overwhelming amount of evidence to the contrary.

(A glimpse into the nightmare that awaits Stefan Struve if he doesn’t start choosing his battles.) 

If I could spend a day inside the head of any UFC fighter – Being John Malkovich style — I would obviously choose Donald Cerrone, who is currently sticking it to Brittney Palmer if I remember correctly. High fives all around, guys! But on the off chance I could crawl inside the head of a second UFC fighter, I would have to go with Cheick Kongo, because based on recent events, I can only assume that his brain functions exactly like one of those twisty-turvey waterslides at your local amusement park.

In the past few days, Kongo has turned down a fight with Daniel Cormier, which is understandable, and turned down a fight with Roy Nelson, which is not so understandable for a guy who is coming off one of the most atrocious winning performances in UFC history. But after turning down the Nelson fight, Kongo sent out this tweet, which challenges the phrase “splitting hairs” on a level my brain has yet to fully comprehend:

I did NOT REFUSE to FIGHT Roy Nelson. I REFUSED to TAKE A FIGHT on SHORT NOTICE. Which is NOT THE SAME AT ALL.

Fine, Cheick, if that helps you sleep at night. I hate to judge a book by it’s cover, but if you were to tell me anywhere else that a man with pectorals the size of dinner plates refused to fight this dude on a month’s notice, I would probably call him a pussy. I said probably.

Wow, what a nice lady! Five days later, that tweet was followed by this:

Before all the die-hard Jennito fans (?) start mourning the demise of their favorite celebrity couple (??), keep in mind that they also pulled this shit last year, and spent a good chunk of 2010 accusing each other of assault and drug abuse. Anyway. Stay strong, you two.

(This fan-made hype video was first posted to YouTube on September 30th. Wow. CletusDamVan must have read The Secret.)

Ugh, you guys, I had the worst dream last night. I was at home, but it was actually the house I grew up in, you know? I was watching TV, and suddenly all the lights went out. Dana White walked in through the back door. He told me — and here’s the freaky part — that Jon Jones and Chael Sonnen would be coaching the next season of The Ultimate Fighter, and they’d actually be fighting for the light-heavyweight belt in April. I was like, “Why? Why are you doing this?” And he said, “Because I fucking hate you.” And when he said that, I realized it wasn’t Dana White, it was my own father. Then, my teeth started cracking and falling out one by one, and-OH MY GOD NO! AHHHHHHHH! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! [scene]

Look, we’re not alone in our utter distaste for this booking. Elsewhere on the Internet, pundits have called Jones vs. Sonnen (vs. TUF) a thinly-veiled money grab that reeks of desperation and sets a horrible precedent. But this matchup is now our reality, and we have to deal with reality on reality’s terms. Here’s a sample of the fallout and news updates that yesterday’s bombshell kicked up:

- Tweet of the Day, from Dan Henderson: “I guess I should just quit training to win fights and to be exciting for the fans and just go to shit talking school. @danawhite”. Dan and Chael might be bros from way back, but that clearly doesn’t make this news any easier for Hendo to swallow. It’s insulting, really. Henderson is still the most rightful challenger to Jones’s belt, but an ill-timed injury has apparently put him on the UFC’s “pay no mind” list. Don’t make us say it.

- More sour grapes: Of course, Sonnen’s new opportunity now leaves Forrest Griffin without an opponent; FoGriff was originally supposed to meet Sonnen at UFC 155 in December. As you can imagine, Griffin doesn’t seem too thrilled about this latest development either, telling Ariel Helwani, “I’m not mad at him. Why fight your way to the top when you can talk your way to the top? I’m actually happy I’m not fighting him anymore, because watching his fights was boring and tedious.” The hot new rumor is that Griffin could possibly face the recently-wrecked Stephan Bonnar instead. Fine, whatever.

- And now, the Chael Sonnen reaction video you’ve all been waiting for/dreading…

(Sorry guys, but this shitty Photoshop is as close as we’ll get to seeing these two face off. / Image via MMAMania)

Considering how many times Jon Jones and Anderson Silva have told us that they’ll never fight each other, most reasonable people would have given up hope on that particular fantasy-match by now. Of course, UFC president Dana White is not exactly known for being reasonable. Asked by a fan on Twitter yesterday if Jones vs. Silva would ever happen, Dana replied “it will.”

That simple phrase — seemingly based on nothing other than his own desire to promote the fight, and his long-standing belief that any fighter can be convinced to do anything if you put enough money in front of them — resulted in a predictable firestorm on twitter. There were the gullible UFC-marks who expressed their excitement for the match as if it was already booked, and the detractors who questioned if Dana could actually put it together.

Props to Reddit/MMA for capturing part of the ensuing tantrum…

(Too. Damn. Talented.)

By: Jason Moles

I’m sure there are more important things to talk about just days away from Jones-Henderson Jones-Sonnen Jones-Machida Jones-Belfort than another gimmicky post attempting to be relevant, but it’s been a while since we gave away CagePotato T-Shirts and we love you guys so much that we’ve decided to do it again. Here’s how it’s going to go down. Below is a list of 25 fighters and a brave attempt to describe them in three words. Not two, not four, just three simple words. Pretty easy, right? Read through them, then tweet us @CagePotatoMMA with your own three-word MMA fighter descriptions, including the hashtag #MMAFighterIn3Words. The three best submissions by tomorrow at 5 p.m. ET will win a shirt. (We’ll update this post with the winners after we select them.) Now let’s begin, shall we?

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: Exit stage left.

Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson: Seeking next level.

Jon “Bones” Jones: If Healthy, Undefeated.*

Diego “The Dream” Sanchez: Starting over again.

Leonard Garcia: God help him.

Matt Hughes: Slayer of beasts.

(We can pay for your elbow surgery, Rampage, but the UFC’s insurance policy does not cover gonorrhea.) 

In the past few years, we have seen former light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson turn from a Ricardo Arona-powerbombing, Chuck Liddell-stomping, Southern California freeway-racing SOB into a tirelessly complaining, terrible rapping, transsexual raping shell of his former self. His ongoing war with the UFC and their insistence on giving him “boring fights” has grown tired to even the biggest Rampage fan at this point, and regardless of how hard he has tried to convince us that “big fights” are waiting for him outside of the UFC, most of us just assumed that once he got the tar beat out of him by Glover Teixeira at UFC 153, he would abandon MMA altogether, star in a series of direct-to-DVD films in the vein of Blood and Bone, and fade into obscurity until 2025, when he will be arrested for binging on 5 hour energy drinks, stripping down to his birthday suit, and destroying a magazine kiosk in New York City because “my neighbors demon-possessed dog told me to.” Or something like that.

In either case, it seemed as if we would finally reach the light at the end of the figurative tunnel at UFC 153, and could bid Jackson adieu once and for all. Because clearly, his passion for the sport had dwindled beyond the point of return.

Well, my friends, Dana White just dropped a bombshell on Twitter, and not even Sly Stallone can get us out of this tunnel:

Rampage is hurt and out of UFC 153 RIO. SUCKS!!!!!!

You can almost feel the apathy in White’s tweet.

Ariel Helwani confirmed that Jackson suffered an elbow injury, and that the UFC is currently looking for a replacement opponent for Teixeira.

We will keep you informed as things transpire.

-J. Jones

(Renzo Gracie’s knuckles after beating up muggers. Out of the frame, Renzo Gracie absolutely beaming with a huge smile on his face)

The other day we told you about how Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and MMA legend Renzo Gracie managed to tweet about how he *ahem* defended himself from two muggers in Manhattan this week, at the same time as he was beating the snot out of defending himself from them. Well, The MMA After Hour got Renzo on the line for a short interview where Gracie goes in to detail of how, exactly, he came to beat up two thugs and why he was insulted that they even tried.

We’re not going to waste too much of your time with our copy here because Renzo has plenty to say himself (and we really can’t re-create the effect of his Brazilian accent in writing, and you know it adds a lot to the story, my friend). After the break you’ll find the full interview.

(Somewhere in Manhattan, there’s a dumb bastard with the phrase “IFL Pitbulls” reverse-imprinted in his forehead.)

Late last night in New York, legendary fighter/trainer Renzo Gracie was accosted by two men with obvious bad intentions. And since Renzo is one of the gamest S.O.B.s of all time, he wound up beating the shit out of them. Actually, let me re-phrase that: He beat the shit out of one of them, tracked down mugger #2 after he went running off into the night, “raccooned” mugger #2 (explanation below), and tweeted out a live play-by-play of the whole experience including photos. Are you kidding me? Renzo Gracie is like a prime Steven Seagal with an iPhone.

Now, did all this really happen, or was this entire situation just a staged social media infomercial for Gracie Jiu-Jitsu? I don’t know. But I want to believe. Here’s the entire story, from beginning to end, as taken from @RenzoGracieBJJ:

3:11 AM: 22nd street and 10th ave right now two guys following me, can’t help but have a big smile upon my face Im talking about a happy one )))

3:12 AM: Waiting for them… Are they really thinking I’m drunk??? They have to be kidding. Hahahaha

3:13 AM: 25th and 10ave they are getting closer lol

3:16 AM: I just stop to take a pic, they pretend they are looking at the window, can’t lie… My blood runs in a different speed, man I miss Brazil

(Props: @MiguelTorresMMA via MMAMania)

Well this is just friggin’ unbelievable. If a new report from Dave Meltzer at Wrestling Observer is accurate, Miguel Torres‘s recent UFC re-firing wasn’t due to his knockout loss to Michael McDonald earlier this year. Allegedly, it was due to the same lapse in judgement/humor/decency that got him fired the first time. As Meltzer writes:

The cutting of Miguel Torres was disciplinary in nature although it was not said what the cause was, only that he was cut. His record wasn’t bad, with a knockout loss to Michael McDonald who is going to be a top star (provided his hands don’t keep betraying him as he’s already broken them a couple of times) and a close loss to Demetrious Johnson, both top guys. He made the r*** joke on twitter and was fired, then brought back, and apparently he made some sort of a similar mistake.

The tweet at the top of this post was dug up by MMAMania, who point out that it was sent a couple weeks after the McDonald loss. And while it still hasn’t been confirmed exactly what led to Torres’s latest firing, it’s astounding that he would still be playing with fire like this. For those people who viewed Torres as a victim of over-sensitivity during his first UFC firing, you have to admit that he would have to be the dumbest motherfucker alive to continue making rape jokes after he already lost his job once.

If someone could be literally addicted to making rape jokes — and if such a person exists, it would be Miguel Torres — this would represent a pretty obvious rock bottom, and a sign that he needs help. What the hell, man. Seriously.

(“Okay, new plan. We change our names, cross the border into Mexico, and open a bar on a nice beach somewhere. Nobody ever has to know about what happened here. Twenty years from now, we’ll be laughing about it.”)

If you’re one of the last remaining Jon Jones supporters on Earth, it must seem that we’re just piling on at this point — like we wake up every morning searching for new ways to drag down the UFC light-heavyweight champ and steal his swag. But honestly, this stuff finds us. And as much as I’d rather spend my time on more relevant MMA coverage, I just can’t let this one go. Here’s an unbelievable detail from a new Wrestling Observer article, passed along by BloodyElbow:

Jones was very upset after Chael began calling him out and mocking him on Twitter, going as far as to contact [UFC president Dana] White and ask him to tell Chael to stop.

Let’s just state the obvious, here — this is the kind of thing a child would do. And it’s the last thing Jones needs at a moment when many MMA fans already view him as a coward for the way he wouldn’t accept a fight against Sonnen on short notice. (Once again, Chael’s ability to get inside a rival’s head is astounding, and he just picked up a boatload of new ammunition for their inevitable fight. And yes, Jones vs. Sonnen will happen someday. Dana dislikes Jones too much and loves money too much for it not to happen.)

Meanwhile on the UG, Joe Rogan made a post trying to put the recent Jon Jones hate-orgy into perspective:

(“My advice would be to find a nice cave somewhere and go into hiding for three days. When you come out, they’ll worship you.”)

According to our latest homepage poll, a full 49% of you believe that Jon Jones deserves most of the blame for UFC 151′s abrupt cancellation, compared to just 27% for UFC president Dana White, the guy who actually canceled the event. Public opinion of Jones has gone from bad to irredeemably awful in the last week, and the apology he posted on twitter this weekend probably won’t help much:

“Carrying the cross for my company’s decision. If someone has to take the blame, I will accept full responsibility for the way UFC 151 was canceled. I want to sincerely apologize to all the other athletes/fans who’s time and money was waisted. [sic] I feel terrible about the way that was handled.”

Okay, so we’re just assuming that Jones is comparing himself to Jesus in that first sentence; he could also be comparing himself to Kimo Leopoldo. But considering that there’s already a conception of Jones as a person whose holier-than-thou attitude doesn’t match his behavior, all Jesus-based self-references should probably be avoided for the time being. It’s the kind of thing a publicist would tell Jones, if he still had one.

(Suddenly, the decision to sponsor this guy seems like not so great of an idea.) 

Boy oh boy, have the events of this afternoon trapped everyone in a glass case of emotion or what? We’re going to forgo the typical “aftermath” aspect of this…aftermath, because suffice it to say, you are already aware of what has gone down. Looking ahead, it appears Jon Jones will be facing Lyoto Machida (again) at UFC 152 in Toronto (again). It also appears that all of the claims that “Lyoto TOTALLY won a round against Bones, you guys” — as if he, you know, didn’t get sliced open and choked unconscious shortly thereafter — have had some effect on the bookies. At least for now.

BestFightOdds currently has Jones listed between -475 and -485 for his rematch with “The Dragon,” which is actually not as bad (for Machida, at least) as the -600 Jones was listed at when these two first squared off. Who knows how far that number will sway in the next few weeks, but we’re guessing it will only increase in Jones’ favor as time passes.

But that’s not the story here. The real story is that, due to the cancellation of UFC 151, a lot of fighters are getting royally screwed. Sure, the UFC could reimburse them with their show money (as if they’re not losing a shitload of it already), but these fighters rely on sponsorship money to truly put them in the green. That money has seemingly dissapeared, and man are they pissed about it. After all, when you only fight a few times a year (at best) for next-to-nothing, missing a fight can have serious financial consequences. And the poor saps who will now be missing another paycheck are letting Jones have it on Twitter.

The best responses are after the jump. 

(You see this move, right here? PUSSY MAGNET.) 

There’s been a lot of talk regarding Jon Jones, Dan Henderson, and GOATS around here lately, but if any of the rumors circulating Twitter right now have any truth to them, we might just have to put that discussion on hold for a while. And although tweets from random sources don’t constitute truth, the sheer volume of them that have been sent out claiming that Henderson has suffered a knee injury in training are making us feel sick to our stomachs nonetheless. Take a look for yourselves:

Kenny Florian ?@kennyflorian
Hearing that we may have some disappointed @UFC fans soon due to some unfortunate circumstances for an upcoming card

Luke Thomas ?@SBNLukeThomas
@KCBanditMMA @jamiekilstein if what I’m hearing is correct, it’s so much worse than what is even being rumored on Twitter.

 Luke Thomas ?@SBNLukeThomas
@Jdiddy381 @KCBanditMMA @jamiekilstein again, I’m not talking about Hendo’s health when I say the matter is ‘worse’. Relax, people.

Jeremy Botter ?@jeremybotter
If what I’m hearing is correct, UFC 151 may be in desperate need of a main event. And that sucks.

Matt Lindland ?@mattlindland
Rumor? @MattHawryluk94: @tarecfighter rumor is Hendo is out with a knee injury, please tell me it is not true!

FrontRowBrian FrontRowBrian ?@FrontRowBrian
Rumor going around Hendo was injured by Thierry Sokoudjou at some point in this camp. Appears he’ll press on.. if he has to crawl to cage. 
Someone described the brace Hendo is wearing as a “Stone Cold Steve Austin brace”.

Again, we’re not writing this without first understanding the power of rumor, but considering some of the sources (Kenny Florian, Luke Thomas), we might be looking at either a severely hampered Hendo come next Saturday, or no Hendo at all. And who do you think the UFC would replace him with on such short notice? Surely not this guy, right? Or are all the pieces of our conspiracy puzzle falling into place exactly according to plan? MWAHAHAHAHA!!

(Subtract the fire extinguisher and a pair of trousers and this is basically what happened.) 

No one really knew what to say when news broke that Jason “Mayhem” Miller was arrested in an Orange County church after breaking in, stripping down, destroying the place, and showering the remains in fire extinguisher retardant. They may make pamphlets to tell us if our little Johnny is high, but they sure as shit don’t make them for that situation, and our apathy/confusion toward the news reflected this. Miller had found his way to the blotter before, but this arrest was simply too bizarre to take in all at once. If Rampage Jackson was an episode of World’s Wildest Police Chases, Mayhem was an entire season of Reno 911. Specifically, the episodes featuring Terry.

There was also the fact that we were still digesting the bowlful of crazy that Miller had spewed at Dana White just days before, which truly raised some eyebrows in regards to Miller’s general well being. He had made his history of mental issues public knowledge before, and many of us assumed that it was likely these problems rearing their ugly heads once again when he was arrested. But according to Miller, who released a statement today to address our concerns following his release last week, declared that “everything is fine.” Granted, he also said the same thing to DW just days before his arrest, so take this with a grain of salt. Miller released the following via his Facebook and Twitter.

(When all else fails, a hypogonadism burn is always a solid standby.) 

Apparently Jon Jones is unaware that Chael Sonnen is a fight promoter first, troll second, and actual fighter third. Be that as it may, “Bones” must have really took to heart the relatively light bit of trash-talking Sonnen aimed in the champ’s direction when announcing his return to the light-heavyweight division on UFC Tonight, as he has already responded, then deleted, several scathing remarks aimed at the former middleweight title challenger via Twitter, because of course he did.

If we’ve learned anything about what arguments over Twitter inevitably lead to, we’re probably going to need a bigger facepalm and a fresh pair of trousers for one of these gentlemen in the near future.

The rest of Jones’ comments are after the jump.

Basically, picture this, except trashier, uglier, far more expensive and, oh yeah, permanent.

There’s an unwritten rule in the tattoo community that you’re never supposed to mock another person’s tattoos. The reasoning behind this thinking is that you never know why a person decided to tattoo something onto his or her body, whether or not a person actually asked the artist to make the tattoo look a certain way (I have intentionally rough-around-the-edges work myself) and the whole “different strokes” thing. For example, while Chris Andersen is my golden standard of what tattoos should look like, some people see Michael Beasley as the tattoo world’s G.O.A.T. Taste is subjective, is what I’m getting at.

That being said, even Mr. Cool Ice grimaced when he saw Arianny Celeste tweet an image of some completely rational and totally non-stalkerish fan’s new tattoo of the UFC ring girl/“musician”/Fathead model (Did I forget something?). The women’s pet and the men’s regret this guy is not:

This guy? Awkward? Who’da thunk it?

Perhaps the only thing more awkward than watching a recently separated couple fight in public is watching a recently separated couple fight on Twitter. Aside from the fact that the 140 character limit on Twitter usually causes the feuding pair to throw clumsily abbreviated insults at each other, there’s the whole “Why the hell didn’t these two just send each other private, direct messages and leave the rest of us out of it?” factor. Add on the mental image of the two screaming at – and eventually crying in front of – their laptops/smartphones in a dark room, and Twitter beefs between ex-lovers make Warcraft flirting sessions look like dignified, everyday conversations. I’ve personally unfollowed more than a few people who’ve decided that Twitter was the best place to vent over failed relationships – as I’m sure many of you have as well.

What I’m getting at is that Jason “Mayhem” Miller, who was recently cut from the UFC, just got done bickering at former employer Dana White on Twitter. No, it surprisingly wasn’t that funny. Yes, it was just as cringe-worthy and pathetic as these instances tend to be. And yes, screen shots are available after the jump.

As these situations usually do, it started off with the bitter one who was broken up with randomly, “innocently” tweeting to the ex:

(Who knew that “The Dream” was actually short for “The Wet Dream Brought on by Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation”?) 

After going 2-2 in his return to the welterweight division, which began back in 2010 and included wins over Paulo Thiago and Martin Kampmann, as well as a most recent loss to Jake Ellenberger at the inaugural UFC on FUEL event, it looks like Diego Sanchez is headed back down to lightweight. We have been told by an anonymous source that the move has nothing to do with the fact that B.J. Penn a.k.a the man who handed Sanchez the worst beating of his career has returned to the welterweight division, but rather because BJ Penn a.k.a the man who handed Sanchez the worst beating of his career has left the lightweight division. So rest assured, Sanchez is definitely not ducking B.J. Penn.

Sanchez made the announcement over his Twitter account earlier today in a conversation with UFC color commentator Joe Rogan:

@joerogan there isn’t anyone out there that understands Mma as a whole like you do! Thanks Joe, its back to 155 for me… Should be good!!

It’s good to know that we weren’t alone in our confusion when it was announced that the winner of either the Mauricio Rua/Brandon Vera or Lyoto Machida/Ryan Bader bouts, specifically the former, would be in line for the next title shot at 205 lbs. Given that current champion Jon Jones has walked through all four of those gentlemen before, we struggled to find the reasoning behind the alleged title shot that supposedly awaited the most impressive winner from this weekend’s UFC on FOX 4 event. Then again, Rich Franklin has decided to chase after middleweight gold and revenge for a third time (which totally wont end in his untimely death), so maybe we were too quick to write off these former champions, TUF winners, and hype machines. In either case, Bones took to his Twitter account to voice his frustration, sending out the above tweet yesterday which simply states “Scratching my head.”

But perhaps even more confounding than the UFC’s apparent apathy in regards to JBJ was the realization that the light heavyweight division, one of the most stacked and competitive divisions in the UFC for some time, has nearly been cleared out in a little over a year. If Jones gets past Dan Henderson at UFC 151, something he obviously feels he is going to do as evidenced by the above tweet, there will arguably be only two viable candidates left for him to face: Alexander Gustafsson and Glover Teixeira.

Dana White has teased that the man known by the Potato Nation as “Bjones” is “ready for a big fight now”, leading us to believe that a meeting with Rashad Evans could be on the horizon. A victory over the former champ would all but cement the Swede’s position atop the division. As for Teixeira, it’s simply too early to tell. He looked great in his debut victory over Kyle Kingsbury, but needs to face at least one of the upper echelon fighters before we are convinced he is ready for a title shot. But for the moment, it appears that the LHW division needs an H-bomb like Nick Diaz needs a clue.

In other, alcohol-related Jon Jones news…

(Click for even larger, grosser version. Props: @anthonynjoku)

What you’re looking at is Anthony Njokuani‘s hand, which he broke during his decision loss against Rafael Dos Anjos at UFC on FUEL: Munoz vs. Weidman earlier this month. Good lord. It looks like a piece of driftwood that washed up on a particularly filthy beach. It looks like one of the sandworms from Tremors. It looks like a new Carvel employee’s botched attempt at making Fudgie the Whale. It looks like a bloated zombie hybrid of Anthony Johnson and Pac-Man. Get well soon, Anthony.