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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Tag: Twitter

Following Fight Night 50 Barnburner, Joe Lauzon and Michael Chiesa Trade Barbs Online


(“Rematches are dumb. #ufcfightnight.” via Lauzon’s Instagram.)

Joe Lauzon vs. Michael Chiesa was as predictable as it was unexpected, if that makes any sense. Allow me to explain. The Fight Night 50 main card opener that pitted the TUF 5 alum against the TUF 15 winner was predictable in the way that all Joe Lauzon fights are: It was a back-and-forth, ferociously paced banger that brought the crowd to life from the very moment it started. There’s a reason why Lauzon has scored a UFC record 13 fight bonuses, and his most recent performance was no exception.

The fight’s ending was unexpected, however, in that Lauzon emerged victorious via TKO — something he hasn’t accomplished since 2008 — and that said TKO came due to the doctor’s intervention. As you might expect, Chiesa was upset with the decision and immediately took to Twitter to protest the stoppage while demanding an immediate rematch.

“Out of all the bloody three-round wars I’ve seen … Diego, Lauzon and many others, why the hell did they stop my fight?” asked Chiesa. “I was never beat, my will was never broken, I was winning that fight. I demand a rematch before the year ends. I hope you all were entertained, you guys got robbed as much as me. That fight was going to be a three-round war. We all got robbed.”

Lauzon responded shortly thereafter with the above Instagram post, showing that not only had all 3 judges had scored the first round for him, but stating his belief that “rematches are dumb.” That led to this exchange between the two lightweights on Twitter:

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Don’t Worry, Mark Hunt Wasn’t *Fired*, He Was Just…Hungry


(Once again, our reaction to this news can be summed up thusly.)

When I was 8 years old, I got lost in the woods for two days while playing hide and go seek with my cousins. I did not eat for some 34 hours, and only survived thanks to a blackberry bush I stumbled upon on night 2, the water from a nearby creek (which in turn gave me beaver fever), and the coyote-poking stick I fashioned out of a regular stick. When the cops found me, I was apparently asking a willow tree for directions to Pallet Town while urinating on myself, my sustenance-deprived mind on the brink of total collapse.

The point is, starvation can have a wide variety of effects on the brain to differing degrees of amusement. Take Mark Hunt, for instance, who dropped a bomb on the MMA world last week when he tweeted that he had been fired by the UFC for no apparent reason (other than a potential “bailed hug rest” as I speculated). The thing was, Hunt hadn’t been fired, as Dana White quickly confirmed via a series of curse words and insults to other people’s intelligence.

So why the ruse then? Was Hunt trolling us? In the depths of an ether binge, maybe? Nope, it turns out that The Super Samoan was just…hungry.

“Looking forward to japan sept 20 troops sorry about unemployment tweet I was hungry no carbs,” Hunt tweeted in attempt to clear up the confusion.

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Why Is Mark Hunt Under the Impression That He’s Been Released by the UFC?


(Yeah, that was pretty much our reaction to this news.)

We’re not sure if this is a simple miscommunication or some Jon Jones-level troll job, but for some reason, heavyweight contender and PRIDE legend Mark Hunt recently took to Twitter to lament his apparent release from the UFC, stating:

Well I’m unemployed that sucks. Not my choice guys but going from being exited [sic] at the prospects of the future of fighting to being unemployed in a day lol this sucks. 

This of course led to some public outcry, because nobody sweeps “The Super Samoan” under the rug like he’s just some…regular Samoan. Nobody. Enraged fans proceeded to put Daddy Dana on blast via the Twitter, which led to this concise yet somehow ridiculously hyperbolic response from the UFC prez…

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Twitter Beef of the Day: Ben Askren Picks a Fight With Johny Hendricks, Gets Lectured by Matt Hughes Instead


(I can honestly say that I have a slightly lower body-fat percentage than the UFC welterweight champion right now. It’s the small victories, you know? / Photo via Jamill Kelly)

By Bear Siragusa

Yesterday, to the delight of bored MMA fans worldwide, former UFC welterweight kingpin and Hall of Famer Matt Hughes waged twitter warfare with former Bellator welterweight champ/serial leg-humper Ben Askren.

It all started when Askren fired some eBullets at Johny Hendricks while they were both in attendance at the TUF 19 Finale, clearly trying to bait Hendricks into the kind of rivalry that can only be settled on a UFC pay-per-view. Nothing really came of his efforts, but Askren was still jawing on twitter the next day:

@BenAskren: I dare any media member to ask @JohnyHendricks if I make him nervous and post his stuttering response.

Hendricks remained quiet, and instead, Matt Hughes showed up to teach the young whippersnapper about knowing your role and shutting your hole:

@mattHughes9x: You talk to much ben.

@BenAskren: You talk to much ben.” That’s your opinion :)

@mattHughes9x: @Benaskren very true. I got where I am by doing not talking.

@BenAskren: “@matthughes9x: very true. I got where I am by doing not talking.” Lots of ways to skin a car. [Ed. note: That has to be a typo, right?]

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CagePotato Ban: Pretending to Care About the Fighters When Your Actions Prove You Don’t


(I respect and adore these brave warriors who risk their WAIT HE MAKES MORE MONEY THAN I MAKE WORKING PART-TIME AT HOT TOPIC?! DIE IN A FIRE, SCUMBAG!)

By Seth Falvo

This is a ban that we’ve been meaning to enact for quite some time. In the MMA community, long-winded rants about issues such as low pay, cruel treatment, and disrespectful articles about the men and women who sacrifice their health for our entertainment are as much a part of being an MMA fan as owning a glittery Affliction shirt. Most fans want you to know that unlike other sports, MMA is a sport whose fans truly and deeply care about the general well-being of the fighters.

And about 90% of those fans are completely full of shit, and need to finally be called on it.

The opportunity to do so has never been better than it’s been these past four days, while UFC veterans have tried to express their displeasure with the organization, only to be told to bite their tongues by the fans. First there was Chris Leben, who actually said point blank that he would have been better off driving a truck instead of fighting for the UFC for the past decade. Next, there was Nate Quarry, who exposed both how little most guys make through sponsorships and how little the UFC actually cares about their fighters. If even half of the fans who claim to respect the fighters actually did, there would be serious pressure on the UFC this week.

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UFC 168 Tweet-Sized Stats & Facts: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly


(Image via @spideranderson. Click to view full-size.)

By Reed Kuhn

Note: Reed’s book ‘Fightnomics’ is available now on Amazon (in Kindle and paperback versions), featuring 336 pages of statistical analysis on UFC fighters and the “hidden science” behind their fights. If you’ve been a fan of his Databomb columns, pick up a copy today. A full description of the book is at the end of this post.

While cranking through some statistical analysis of fighters competing at next weekend’s UFC 168 event, I came across a few tidbits that fit the character limit for tweetability. Tweet ‘em all you want, I’ll make more.

The Good:
Anderson Silva has the highest Knockdown Rate of any fighter at #UFC168. 16% of his landed power head strikes cause a knockdown.

• In terms of Knockdown Rate, #UFC168 fighters Robert Peralta (14%) and Travis Browne (12%) are also way above average.

• Tibau vs Johnson at #UFC168 will be a rare Southpaw vs Southpaw matchup, or what I call a “Cyclone fight” due to the clockwise spin.

• Mostly likely to attempt takedowns at #UFC168 is Ronda Rousey who attempts 4 TDs per 5 min. round. Not that her rounds ever last that long.

• The most active standup striker at #UFC168 is Dennis Siver, who outworks his opponents by 59% in volume while standing.

• Hardest fighter to hit at #UFC168 is Anderson Silva, who avoids 82% of all head strikes thrown at him. Still, Weidman may only need one.

• Highest takedown defense at #UFC168 are Weidman & Browne, both 100%. Neither have been taken down despite each facing 7 attempts.

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Tim Kennedy Was Apparently Not the Biggest Fan of Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela died yesterday, marking the end of a life lauded as inspirational and heroic by millions around the world. The first black president of South Africa, Mandela is hailed as a central figure in the fight against apartheid and its brutal legacy of racial segregation.

In case it needs to be mentioned, Mandela was not American, and as such, not all of his beliefs reflected traditional American values. He publicly supported Fidel Castro and Moammar Gadhafi, and was a ferocious critic of American foreign policy. By definition, he was a revolutionary, determined to tear down existing social structures in his home country. He wasn’t one of those non-violent types, either. The militant group that Mandela co-founded, Umkhonto we Sizwe, carried out guerrilla attacks that were aimed at government targets but resulted in numerous civilian deaths.

Maybe you didn’t know that stuff; the darker pages of Mandela’s story certainly aren’t emphasized in mainstream eulogies of his life. On the other hand, you can be an American patriot and still respect Mandela for the life he led, his indomitable spirit, the battles he fought and won for human justice. The world is a better, fairer place today because he existed.

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NATE DIAZ, YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED

By Diego Sanchez*

…TO BE CLEANSED BY THE HOLY FLAME OF OUR LORD ALMIGHTY. For I, “The Dream,” am his vessel, the grail from which his vengeance is spilled unto the meek, uncultivated swine of this forsaken planet. Yes! Yeessssssss!!

I AM A SAVAGE. A savage who has returned to the 155 pound division to prove to the world that it is physically possible to love something to death. My enthusiasm is a river which shall break the levy of your insolence.

What must I do to draw your attention, Nate? I called you out when I announced my return to lightweight, and just yesterday, I even resorted to your species’ archaic, Godless device of social communication to further needle you. Yet still you do not respond. Is it because you KNOW and FEAR that which is “The Dream?” That whose spirit can not be broken? CONFESS AND YOU SHALL BE SAVED. YESS!!

Forget your upcoming fight with Mr. Maynard, for we both know that your heart is not invested in that little escapade. Your heart will have no such option when we tangle, for I will expose it from your chest, hold it betwixt my fingers and show you His light. And in that fragile, fleeting moment, you will thank me. You will say, “I am grateful for your friendship, Diego. God bless you.” You will SURRENDER to my influence and join the army of DREAMERS I have amassed over the years!! YES!

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Regrettable Tweet of the Day: Conor McGregor’s Three-Way Sex Fantasy, Featuring the TUF 18 Coaches and Toe-Oral [UPDATED]


(Like a BOSS. / Screen-cap via @TheNotoriousMMA)

Irish rising star Conor McGregor is having quite an eventful year: He’s already had his first UFC victory and his first debilitating knee injury — and his first forced apology might be right around the corner.

The tweet above is what happened when a fan asked the fun-lovin’ featherweight a relatively harmless question about who he fancied more, Ronda Rousey or Miesha Tate. And man did he knock this one out of the park. Eric Holden is crying and masturbating in your honor, sir.

To be honest, the most offensive thing about this tweet is the way McGregor sticks all the extra S’s at the end of “toes,” like he’s some over-excited teenage girl who can’t wait to get the new iPhone you guyssssssss!!! I fucking hate that shit. The real question is, which TUF 18 coach would be on toe-duty?

Update: And here’s that apology

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Correction: Ian McCall Only Hates Homeless Junkies, Not Homeless People in General


(You call that a paint job? Give me my five bucks back, Ken. / Photo via Getty)

Shocking as this may be, UFC flyweight Ian McCall – a man who calls himself “Uncle Creepy” and models his image after that of a man who keeps a copy of The Catcher in the Rye in his back pocket at all times – isn’t always careful about what he tweets. In the past, he used Twitter to share the story about that time his wife cheated on him with Rob Emerson, which had to make things all sorts of awkward for his followers to see on their timelines. And yesterday, McCall accidentally offended many of his followers by sharing what appeared to be his views on homelessness. Spoiler alert: His tweet didn’t exactly portray the homeless in a favorable light.


(I hate the homeless … I don’t feel sorry for you. If you want change then let me throw it as hard as I can at your dirty face)

Well, that was unnecessarily harsh. Naturally, his followers began to call him out for the tweet, so McCall went on to clarify that he doesn’t hate most of the homeless – he only hates the homeless drug addicts, mostly because he used to be one himself.


(Hate me all you want Ive been homeless n [strung] out. I changed that part of my life No sympathy for junkies who talk shit to me for no reason)

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