(I may not know how to buy a house, but if you give me fifteen minutes I WILL make a four percolator bong out of this.) 

Man, the UFC marketing department intern in charge of Lorenzo Fertitta’s Twitter account must be working overtime these past few days. Aside from announcing the Mir/Velasquez, Griffin/Ortiz, and Overeem/JDS fights last night, “Lorenzo” recently held a Twitter Q & A session to set the record straight on this whole Nick Diaz/Puff the Magic Dragon thing. And even if Diaz is planning to retire, his contract with the UFC will remain. You know, just in case he gets the sudden desire to fight B.J. Penn, Karo Parisyan, or Joe Riggs again in some small promotion somewhere.

When asked about Diaz’s Zuffa future, Fertitta was quick to respond, “[I] really like the kid [he] just needs to get it together. I’m a sap for real fighters.” We know, Lorenzo.

We don’t want you to argue about whether or not marijuana should be considered a banned substance, or illegal for that matter, because we already have. Needless to say, if anyone out there actually thinks weed enhances anything but zombie mode on Call of Duty and the enjoyment of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, then they are clearly unfamiliar with the term “enhance.” What we are interested in is what kind of punishment you think Diaz should receive for violating a rule, as silly as it may be. Three months? Six months? A year? Well, barring a successful appeal, which, come on, it’s looking like it will be a year or more before we see Diaz in the octagon, if at all.

Perhaps even more hilarious than the predicament Diaz has put himself in was how the MMA community responded to his failed drug test. Check out some of the best tweets, compiled by MMAFighting.com, after the jump.

(Nah, he’s just sleepin’.) 

Well, at least he attained the proper tags. None other than former UFC welterweight champion and avid hunting afficionado Matt Hughes tweeted this picture early today, which was taken on a recent hunting trip he made to the Midwest. After more than a few of his followers had something to say about it, Matt responded with the following tweet:

(Torres following his unanimous decision loss to social media. / Photo via ESPN)

Update: Torres has released a statement about his release. Check it out at the bottom of this post.

Miguel Torres — former undisputed WEC bantamweight champion and die-hard fan of rape jokes — has been released by the UFC. Dana White confirmed the firing yesterday evening, telling SI.com, “his career with us now is over.”

The reason for Torres’s release was a tweet that reportedly read, “If a rape van was called a surprise van, more women wouldn’t mind going for rides in them. Everyone likes surprises.” Torres later removed the tweet and replaced it with an edited version. White was informed of the tweet second-hand by Michael Landsberg and made the decision to fire Torres shortly after.

So why is Torres being made an example of, when Forrest Griffin and Rashad Evans made similar off-color statements recently? Basically, it’s because he didn’t have a good enough explanation.

Some sad news out of California today, as it was recently reported that former WEC champion and current #1 bantamweight contender Urijah Faber‘s sister was in a car accident late Friday night and has had to undergo major surgery which has left her in a medically induced coma as a result. Sacbee.com was the first to break the story:

Michaella Tastad, 19, was driving home Friday with a friend at 3 a.m. when she rear ended a vehicle slowing down near the site of a single-car accident, according to California Highway Patrol Officer David Martinez. A few minutes later, three more cars collided. Three people were taken to the hospital, but only Tastad suffered major injuries, Martinez said.

Faber said his sister received life-threatening head trauma and is in a medically induced coma at Sutter Roseville Medical Center. He said Tastad also has a collapsed lung, spleen damage and several other injuries. Part of Tastad’s skull was removed and she underwent a second surgery to insert a shunt to help drain fluid, Faber said.

On Monday, Faber said his family received their first good news when doctors briefly took his sister off medicine that induces the coma.

“She gave a peace sign and wiggled her toes,” Faber said. “Then they put her back under … We are done being scared and now it’s about having the recovery we all want.”

(That puppy dog act won’t work this time…that’s enough of that…ok we forgive you.) 

HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO THE POOR GIRL?!

During a recent interview with the Las Vegas Weekly Review, otherworldly trash talker Chael Sonnen had some less than positive things to say about long time UFC ring girl and 2011 Hottest Woman in MMA Runner-up Arianny Celeste. When asked who his pick would be for Ring Girl of the Year at the upcoming 2011 Fighter’s Only World MMA Awards, yes, those Fighter’s Only World MMA Awards, Sonnen had the following to say:

We only had one and that was Chandella [Powell]. The other was the IQ card girl. Arianny [Celeste] kind of walks around and holds up her latest test score. One time when there was a title fight, she got all the way up to five and we were very proud of her.

Holy King of all that is zing.

And believe it or not, when Arianny got wind of these comments, she was less than pleased. But our girl managed to respond in the most adult, professional manner possible, a tweet, which read:

Hey what’s ur name.. after @spideranderson kicks your ass..u won’t even be able to count to 5!! Get ready to kiss brazils ass!

Not bad Arianny, not bad. She’s clearly referencing the 1954 Marlon Brando classic On the Waterfront with the whole “counting” rebuttal. It’s honestly a better comeback than most of us would have expected from someone who usually responds to awkward situations like this. But prepare yourselves for Sonnen’s comeback:

(Yeah…whatever happened to that guy, anyway?)

Carlos Condit is going to have to re-earn his title shot the hard way. After his slated fight against George St. Pierre went up in smoke as quickly as it was handed to him, Condit is now likely to return at UFC 143: St. Pierre vs. Diaz (February 4th, Las Vegas) against perennial welterweight contender Josh Koscheck. UFC president Dana White discussed the matchup at the Leben vs. Munoz post-event press conference:

“Right now, Carlos wants to fight. He wants to fight on the same card as GSP and Diaz, so we’ll see what happens. Koscheck has been offered (the fight).”

Even a broken potato is right twice a day.

Admit it: You thought the return of Ask the Potato would be one and done. You thought there’d be no way we could stick to a feature for two Saturdays in a row. Shame on you for having such little faith in us. Not only have we actually put together a new edition of Ask the Potato, but we’ve even reached out to our Twitter account for a question this week. It’s called “progress”, people. So let’s get to it, shall we?

Questions and answers are after the jump.

(Is there any greater rivalry in world history than .com people vs. .net people?)

Man, I feel bad for Jon Fitch. Fans shit on him for not finishing, the UFC has stopped giving him marquee fights — a public shaming from BJ Penn is really the last thing he needs right now.

Fitch was cleared to resume training last month following his shoulder surgery, which didn’t leave him with enough time to replace Diego Sanchez against Matt Hughes at UFC 135 later this month. However, he claims that he’ll be healthy enough to come in as BJ Penn’s replacement opponent at UFC 137 in October, or as Nick Diaz’s new opponent, whenever Diaz gets out of the doghouse.

Pay attention, now. This will come up again.

I’ll be honest: I tried not to cover this. I figured that this was something that would go away on its own, and it’s best not to draw attention to something that may hurt the sport. Plus, after reading reactions to “cunty-gate”, I realized that the majority of our readers simply do not care about issues like this. But after two straight days of Michael Bisping calling things “gay” on Twitter, I feel that the issue needs to be addressed before it gets blown out of proportion.

It started off as a response to a response to a tweet by Chael Sonnen, who himself is not a big fan of Michael Bisping. In a rare miss, Sonnen said that his fight with Brian Stann will be “Iron Man vs. Captain America”, and promised not to wear the suit if Stann didn’t bring the shield. Bisping seized the opportunity to mock Chael Sonnen with the following tweet:

Check after the jump for Michael Bisping’s tweets

(Pic via MiddleEasy)

Rejoice, fight fans, because the UFC has finally made it to network television. It was announced today in Los Angeles that the world’s premier MMA promotion will begin hosting live events on FOX beginning November 12th. And that’s just the beginning.

While following the live video stream of today’s UFC/FOX press conference, I — like every other MMA writer who wasn’t actually in the building — was intently monitoring people’s reactions on twitter and chipping in my own two cents when it seemed appropriate. So much information was released in the hour-long session that instead of transcribing the whole mess myself, I’ll just cherry-pick the most important bits that were coming through on our Freaks of the Industry feed. (Future of journalism, people.) All the good stuff is contained right here, so read on…

@stevecofield: UFC/FOX makes it official with a 10:02am PT press release. First event airs on Nov. 12 at 9pm ET. Spring 2012 TUF 15 on FX

@jordanbreen: You’ll never see another sport where so many people are excited for the symbolism of a guy from Newsradio wearing a jacket.

@benfowlkes: Fox cameramen apparently confused about the difference between GSP and Frankie Edgar. Rough start, but okay…

@mikechiappetta: FOX exec says TUF will move to Fridays. “We’ll literally own Friday nights,” he says.

And don’t even get me started on the so called “birth certificate” of our president, you guys. Guys?

Well, that didn’t take long. With GSP vs. Diaz looking more likely by the day, you had to figure that someone would have a problem with it. Yesterday Jon Fitch let it be known that even though he is out of action due to a shoulder injury, and he kind of has a rematch with BJ Penn waiting for him when he gets back, he should be next in line to fight GSP. Jon Fitch was prompted to voice his displeasure for Nick Diaz by a rapture joke (seriously), and kept going on his Twitter account from there. All thing’s considered, it’s pretty entertaining. The results are after the jump, in chronological order.

(Hell in the ring, silent on elevators.)

Any time two heavyweights with a history of testing positive get into a bi-lingual war of words, you can book us for a ringside seat. Such was the case this week when Josh Barnett and Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva launched into the now nearly obligatory online fighter beef session. Silva got the ball rolling during an interview with Sherdog, wherein (apparently apropos of nothing) he lashed out at Barnett for – among other things – ignoring Brazilian fighters on elevators. So … that was weird.

If we had to guess, we’d say Bigfoot is feeling a little lonely and cranky after being kind of overlooked in all the hype, speculation and gratuitous match-up fantasizing that’s gone on since the UFC-Strikeforce merger. After all, Bigfoot became the latest dude to slay the unslayable Fedor Emelianenko back in February. You’d think that was worth something, right? And then pictures of Barnett exchanging bro-grabs with Dana White show up on the Internet? Why, that’d be enough to set any giant’s blood to a boilin’. His attacks, along with Barnett’s response are after the jump.

(“See? Good as new.” Photo via twitter.com/markhominick)

Following his admirable decision loss to Jose Aldo at UFC 129, featherweight contender Mark Hominick claimed that he’s just two wins from another title shot. If he gets his way, his first return opponent will be “the Korean Zombie,” Chan Sung Jung. On Friday, Jung tweeted “I want mark hominick,” to which the Machine responded: “Korean Zombie would be an awesome fight!…It would be a great fight and would love to do it if it was offered.”

Jung is coming off his outstanding “twister” submission victory against Leonard Garcia in March, avenging a previous judging robbery at WEC 48. Sandwiched between the two fights against Garcia, Jung suffered a head-kick knockout against George Roop. Coincidentally, Hominick TKO’d Roop in his last fight before UFC 129, and beat Garcia so convincingly last year that even the judges couldn’t screw him out of a victory (although one of them tried.) Feel free to do your own MMA Math on this one…

(Damn it, if you’d only told us this 15 minutes ago, we wouldn’t have eaten that Hot Pocket. Photo courtesy of the UFC Fight Night 24 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

All fighters hit their marks last night at the weigh-ins for UFC Fight Night: Nogueira vs. Davis, which goes down this evening at the Key Arena in Seattle. Despite the recent rumors of Anthony Johnson swelling up to 230 pounds before his training camp, Johnson arrived at 171 pounds and looked perfectly healthy in the process. Afterwards, an elated Rumble jumped on Twitter to share the good news: “I made weight so all u fuckin haterz can eat a mutha fuckin dick. Never doubt ME!!!”

Thanks for thinking of us, AJ! Full UFC Fight Night 24 weigh-in results are after the jump…

Even if you can’t make your way out to Toronto for the UFC Fan Expo, you can still be part of the “Free CagePotato” movement. For the next month or so, we’re going to be giving away a bunch of the brand-new tees you see above. If you want one, there are a couple of ways to do it…

1. The Twitter Way: Send a tweet of support to @danawhite that includes the hashtag #freecagepotato. (The message must be a positive one. No verbal abuse, please.) Every weekday, we’ll pick our favorite one and hook that person up with a shirt.

2. The Facebook Way: Take a picture of yourself posing with “Free CagePotato” written on a hand-made sign (kind of like the one after the jump) or on your own body (keep it clean, people). Then, upload it to our Facebook wall. We’ll collect our favorites at some point in the future, post them on the site, and award them all t-shirts.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/KenFlo1)

(Video courtesy of YouTube/KenFlo1)

When Kurt Pellegrino and Kenny Florian get together to answer fan Twitter questions, things quickly go south.

("Blog about *this*, motherfucker." PicProps: Us?)

We’re already on record with our belief that Twitter is great for us media types and not so great for the MMA fighters who think they are using it to establish a personal “brand” but are really just broadcasting the worst parts of themselves to the public on a regular basis. We also already told you that Jon Jones is not only obsessively following upcoming opponent Ryan Bader on Twitter, but he’s also shadowing many of his friends, training partners and followers. You know what we love? We love when two seeminlgy unrelated stories from the past come together to make a new story in the present, like this …

UFC middleweight Aaron Simpson – who is currently training with Bader – sent a fairly innocuous tweet earlier this week essentially saying he thought Bader was ready to go against Jones at UFC 126. Naturally, Jones saw it and he did not appreciate it.

(Couple hours later, the owner of an Albuquerque body shop tweeted: “Affluent fighter dude needs complete rebuild on front driver’s side of Chrysler 300. GOD IS GOOD!” PicProps: @JonnyBones)

What is with these young people today and crashing their cars just before big fights? UFC light heavyweight prospect Jon Jones smashed up his Chrysler 300 on Wednesday afternoon while he and a carload of teammates were on their way to a dog park in between training sessions, according to the fighter’s own Twitter account. Jones was uninjured and his upcoming fight with Ryan Bader will reportedly not be effected. One partly hilarious, partly dreadful but altogether telling side note to this is that Jones immediately jumped on his Twitter after the wreck to declare “GOD IS GOOD” … even though he later admitted a woman in the other car left the scene on a stretcher.

(Image courtesy of Twitter.com/ShaneCarwin via BloodyElbow)

Following his loss to Brock Lesnar at UFC 116, Shane Carwin‘s online persona seemed to change from "strong, silent type," to "loose cannon who will shout down everybody from fans to MMA blogs to his own employers." And while we’re not going to criticize a fighter for letting their personality hang out a little more, we will offer this one bit of advice: Be careful, bro.

Last month, Carwin publicly blasted the UFC for banning GOOD4U drinks as a UFC sponsor. Last night, he vented more anger via Twitter after apparently being "blocked" by the UFC’s official account. And then, he asked (jokingly, we hope) for Scott Coker’s number, which is not the kind of joke that Dana White would find amusing.

Carwin is far too valuable to be straight-up fired for his attitude, Duffee-style. But after these Twitter-outbursts, the recent steroid accusations, and his unwillingness to do media appearances leading up to the Lesnar fight, he can’t be the UFC’s favorite person right now. So please, Shane, stop self-sabotaging. And if Pinkberry offers gift baskets, make sure there’s one on Dana’s desk by tomorrow morning.

Update: Don’t worry, the UFC has unblocked Shane.

(Vitor Belfort is so badass that Mike Tyson wears his t-shirt. Meanwhile, James Toney’s shirt has been discounted from $49.98 to "free with any purchase at the Salvation Army.")

Since James Toney allowed himself to be humiliated (for a large paycheck) in a cage-fight at UFC 118, it’s only fair that a representative from the UFC should let Toney try to redeem himself in a boxing ring. Could an MMA star hang with a boxing champ with 12-ounce gloves, no leg kicks, no takedowns, player? If Vitor Belfort gets his way — and we sincerely hope he does — the MMA vs. boxing freak show timeline may get a unique new chapter. As the Phenom tweeted this weekend:

"Dana let me fight James Tony on 6 round boxe Mach I think I can catch him with my speed…Dana will be the 1 boxing match in Ufc I promise he will fell my power and we will show the world the a Ufc fighter can do better"

Okay, we all know that the UFC isn’t in the business of putting on six-round boxing matches, historically speaking. But giving Vitor a day-pass to box James Toney outside of his UFC contract sounds like great publicity to me. I know the dude has a #2 middleweight contender’s match lined up for November, but come on, Belfort wins this fight nine times out of ten and goes home to his nude model wife completely unscathed. And it shouldn’t surprise you that the Dark Emperor is down with the idea…

(War Machine getting ready for the Miss Jail Rat 2010 pageant.)

We were disappointed, though not totally surprised today when we visited War Machine’s Twitter page and found that the beleaguered fighter’s prison blogs had been removed.

We figured it was only a matter of time before prison or court officials got wind of War’s documented exploits behind bars that included drinking prison moonshine and finding a fellow inmate’s fishing line used to share contraband with other cons in his cell block.

Apparently we were right on the money with our estimate that he wouldn’t get through three weeks without getting in trouble and that his big house blogs would be his undoing.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

("Screw you, society. Jail ain’t so bad after all.")

Considering I also picked Chael Sonnen to win Saturday night, I got an eerily similar empty feeling when I read War Machine’s latest "Big House Blog" and learned that my proclamation that he wouldn’t get through three weeks without getting into some kind of tomfoolery didn’t come to fruition.

I thought for sure that  alcohol+War Machine = spitbag and handcuffs, but apparently the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver has matured behind bars and instead of scrapping anyone and everyone after consuming his IQ in Jagerbombs, he has taken to sipping his toilet wine while engaging in stimulating conversation with murderous Somalian Muslims.

Who knew jail would have such a good influence on War?

 
(Scrabble? I pictured War Machine as more of a Tiddly Winks kind of guy.)

Well, War Machine got through his second week in the clink without any controversy, which is nearly as surprising as Paulo Filho making it to his scheduled Impact FC appearance.

Other than getting ripped off for his phone credits, Machine’s week, which mostly consisted of reading and taking advice from convicted felons, was relatively serene, but considering he has 50 weeks remaining in his one-year sentence, we’re not holding our collective breath that things won’t go sideways at some point in the near future.

("It’s not you, homey, I was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier." Photo courtesy of Sherdog)

Thanks to his most recent bar brawl, former UFC fighter War Machine has been keepin’ it real in San Diego Central Jail since July 16th, where he’ll be stuck for a year. (Or less, with good behavior. So probably about a year.) Luckily, that won’t stop the adult film star from updating his fans about his life and observations. Relaying messages to a friend on the outside, Machine was able to send out the following missive late last night. From WarMachine170 via MissRARA:

What’s up guys!? I’m gonna do a weekly blog for this year while I’m locked up. Just want to keep y’all posted and give you some insight on what it’s like here for me. When I first got here I was told I was gonna be kept in segregation to pretect myself since I’m a "celebrity." I told them NO WAY! 23 hours a day lockdown? FUCK THAT! So they stuck me in the "mainline." They classified me a 5 on a scale 1-6 so I’m with the big dogs. Everyone here has been to prison. Few guys in my unit are murderers waiting to be shipped out to prison for life. Funny, kinda odd, but they are the most friendly of the bunch… Most intelligent too. Hardest thing about this place is finding people you can have a decent conversation with.

(See, this only looks like a picture of Chael Sonnen getting arm-barred by Jeremy Horn at UFC 60. It’s actually just a clever Chael Sonnen impersonator. PicProps: Susumu)

So in a nutshell, here’s what Chael Sonnen would currently have us believe about his “fake” Twitter feed: Back in February, some enterprising imposter started an account in Sonnen’s name for the purpose of … well, we’re not sure exactly why … but over the next four months only used the account to post a grand total of 10 tweets (two of which link to Sonnen’s website) and did such a good job parroting the middleweight’s distinctively crazy voice that not only did no one notice the charade, but the UFC’s official twitter feed and Sonnen’s own “official campaign” Twitter account both became followers of the "fake" Chael Sonnen.

At least that’s the story Sonnen seemed to be sticking to as recently as Friday, when he appeared on stage for a Q&A session with luminaries from the UFC Fight Club in Vancouver and again reportedly claimed that he does not have a Twitter account. This despite the small matter of a video from a couple months back where he not only admits it to Ariel Helwani (at about the 45:40 mark) but spells out the “fake” account’s address so we can all find it.

Apparently, if someone is impersonating Chael Sonnen on Twitter, they’re doing such a great job that even he thought it was his real account for a while there.

(Who’d you rather…punch?)

Apparently Jamie Yager doesn’t much like being called a quitter.

After watching last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter 11, in which his coach Tito Ortiz called him a quitter for failing to answer the bell in the third round in his quarterfinal match-up with Josh Bryant, The Chosyn 1 jumped on Twitter to voice his displeasure with The Huntington Beach Badboy’s two-facedness.

(Images courtesy of twitter.com/Randy_Couture and twitter.com/JayHieron.)

Judging from the typos in his Twitter update, he might have been drunk when it happened. But at least Randy didn’t get the name of some chick branded on his arm, which would have to be covered up by a half-assed tribal design in about six months. For the uneducated, "Ferrum Ferro Acuitur" is a Latin phrase meaning "iron sharpens iron." It’s a reference to Proverbs 27 ("…so one man sharpens another"), and when included in an MMA fighter’s tattoo, it basically means that if you surround yourself with strong people, you will become stronger yourself. As for the Fleur-de-Lis, it’s either a symbol of Couture’s French lineage, or a tribute to GSP’s calf.

Well now we don’t know what to believe. Here’s Dana, denying the recent Chuck vs. Rich rumors via Twitter. He goes on to say that "Nothing happened to Tito. Tito and I are cool." Good to know. Still, could all of these reports have been inaccurate? Why the weirdness from Tito lately? Is Randy bummed that he won’t be getting James Toney?

(I don’t know Marcus, I thought some of those photos were quite fetching.)

Marcus Davis has deleted his Twitter remark wishing Dan Hardy death via AIDS, and attempted to explain away the “Dark&Bad taste” comment by pointing out that Hardy was at least partially responsible for some unflattering photoshops of him. To what extent Hardy is to blame for the exact homosexual nature of those efforts is debatable, but what seems pretty clear is that, at least in Davis’s mind, those were worse than wishing death upon someone. Just when you think he might have realized that it’s a bad idea to get into this sort of thing at all, he follows it up by tweeting, “Would it have been better if I said hit by a car?”

When you really think about it, that’s a tough one. Getting hit by a car doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing as being killed by a car, so there’s that. But if we assume that Davis would also wish for Hardy to die of his injuries, what then? At least someone who gets AIDS has a chance to say goodbye to their family and gain a new perspective on the circle of life and other such bullshit before they pass. The person killed by a speeding Audi doesn’t ever get the opportunity to set his past wrongs right. Then again, he also doesn’t have to suffer in hospital rooms or get all weak and lesion-y like Tom Hanks in "Philadelphia."

And thus has a man nicknamed “The Irish Hand Grenade” plunged us into a philosophical quandary with a couple of garbled sentences. Really makes you wonder what Jean-Paul Sartre could have accomplished if he had lived to Twitter.

(Arianny Celeste self-shot bikini pics: The reason why Twitter was invented. Photo courtesy of twitpic.com/photos/ariannyceleste.)

There was a time when you had to be a well-connected MMA journalist to keep tabs on where fighters were training and who their next opponents would be. Now you can do what we do — stay in bed with your laptop all day and follow them on Twitter. We call that progress. In case you’re not as tweet-obsessed as us, or if you’re simply too old to understand what the social-networking site is — ‘sup, dad — here’s what to do: Start an account, follow twitter.com/cagepotatomma, then start adding the pages below, which represent the 25 most informative and entertaining MMA-related Twitter feeds currently in operation. Your life will change in ways you never expected. And so, in alphabetical order…

twitter.com/allelbows
Bio: "mma shooter"
Known for her artfully crafted action shots and revealing portraiture, Esther Lin might be the greatest MMA photographer working today. Lately she’s been juggling gigs for MMAFighting, Strikeforce and Showtime, and the best of her work can always be found on her website, allelbows.com. Follow Esther’s tweets for photo updates and observations from her life behind the lens.
Sample tweet: "Fighters Are Dirty: the toilet in my hotel photoshoot room has pee all over it! Guys! Lift up the seat or aim better!"

twitter.com/amirmma
Bio: "Winner of The Ultimate Fighter 7"
It turns out that Amir Sadollah‘s awkward brand of ultra-dry humor is perfectly suited to short bursts of 140 characters or less. Like most UFC fighters, he spends a lot of time tweeting about publicity appearances and food. Unlike most UFC fighters, he somehow manages to make it all genuinely entertaining.
Sample tweet: "Yes Macs are expensive. But you can’t get a virus with them so I save money on condoms."

twitter.com/AriannyCeleste
Bio: "im not that cool. lover not a fighter."
Thanks to Twitter, stalking hot chicks has never been easier! UFC ring-girl goddess Arianny Celeste takes the guesswork out of our unhealthy obsession with her by generously sharing details about where she is, who she’s with, and what she’s doing, pretty much at all times. Also: Bikini pics and bikini pics and bikini pics. Why go anywhere else?
Sample tweet: "http://twitpic.com/112o0r – On my way 2 see an agency. Hope they like me, if not I’ll kick them in the groin area n give em stank eye."