(Damn it, if you’d only told us this 15 minutes ago, we wouldn’t have eaten that Hot Pocket. Photo courtesy of the UFC Fight Night 24 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

All fighters hit their marks last night at the weigh-ins for UFC Fight Night: Nogueira vs. Davis, which goes down this evening at the Key Arena in Seattle. Despite the recent rumors of Anthony Johnson swelling up to 230 pounds before his training camp, Johnson arrived at 171 pounds and looked perfectly healthy in the process. Afterwards, an elated Rumble jumped on Twitter to share the good news: “I made weight so all u fuckin haterz can eat a mutha fuckin dick. Never doubt ME!!!”

Thanks for thinking of us, AJ! Full UFC Fight Night 24 weigh-in results are after the jump…

Even if you can’t make your way out to Toronto for the UFC Fan Expo, you can still be part of the “Free CagePotato” movement. For the next month or so, we’re going to be giving away a bunch of the brand-new tees you see above. If you want one, there are a couple of ways to do it…

1. The Twitter Way: Send a tweet of support to @danawhite that includes the hashtag #freecagepotato. (The message must be a positive one. No verbal abuse, please.) Every weekday, we’ll pick our favorite one and hook that person up with a shirt.

2. The Facebook Way: Take a picture of yourself posing with “Free CagePotato” written on a hand-made sign (kind of like the one after the jump) or on your own body (keep it clean, people). Then, upload it to our Facebook wall. We’ll collect our favorites at some point in the future, post them on the site, and award them all t-shirts.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/KenFlo1)

(Video courtesy of YouTube/KenFlo1)

When Kurt Pellegrino and Kenny Florian get together to answer fan Twitter questions, things quickly go south.

("Blog about *this*, motherfucker." PicProps: Us?)

We’re already on record with our belief that Twitter is great for us media types and not so great for the MMA fighters who think they are using it to establish a personal “brand” but are really just broadcasting the worst parts of themselves to the public on a regular basis. We also already told you that Jon Jones is not only obsessively following upcoming opponent Ryan Bader on Twitter, but he’s also shadowing many of his friends, training partners and followers. You know what we love? We love when two seeminlgy unrelated stories from the past come together to make a new story in the present, like this …

UFC middleweight Aaron Simpson – who is currently training with Bader – sent a fairly innocuous tweet earlier this week essentially saying he thought Bader was ready to go against Jones at UFC 126. Naturally, Jones saw it and he did not appreciate it.

(Couple hours later, the owner of an Albuquerque body shop tweeted: “Affluent fighter dude needs complete rebuild on front driver’s side of Chrysler 300. GOD IS GOOD!” PicProps: @JonnyBones)

What is with these young people today and crashing their cars just before big fights? UFC light heavyweight prospect Jon Jones smashed up his Chrysler 300 on Wednesday afternoon while he and a carload of teammates were on their way to a dog park in between training sessions, according to the fighter’s own Twitter account. Jones was uninjured and his upcoming fight with Ryan Bader will reportedly not be effected. One partly hilarious, partly dreadful but altogether telling side note to this is that Jones immediately jumped on his Twitter after the wreck to declare “GOD IS GOOD” … even though he later admitted a woman in the other car left the scene on a stretcher.

(Image courtesy of Twitter.com/ShaneCarwin via BloodyElbow)

Following his loss to Brock Lesnar at UFC 116, Shane Carwin‘s online persona seemed to change from "strong, silent type," to "loose cannon who will shout down everybody from fans to MMA blogs to his own employers." And while we’re not going to criticize a fighter for letting their personality hang out a little more, we will offer this one bit of advice: Be careful, bro.

Last month, Carwin publicly blasted the UFC for banning GOOD4U drinks as a UFC sponsor. Last night, he vented more anger via Twitter after apparently being "blocked" by the UFC’s official account. And then, he asked (jokingly, we hope) for Scott Coker’s number, which is not the kind of joke that Dana White would find amusing.

Carwin is far too valuable to be straight-up fired for his attitude, Duffee-style. But after these Twitter-outbursts, the recent steroid accusations, and his unwillingness to do media appearances leading up to the Lesnar fight, he can’t be the UFC’s favorite person right now. So please, Shane, stop self-sabotaging. And if Pinkberry offers gift baskets, make sure there’s one on Dana’s desk by tomorrow morning.

Update: Don’t worry, the UFC has unblocked Shane.

(Vitor Belfort is so badass that Mike Tyson wears his t-shirt. Meanwhile, James Toney’s shirt has been discounted from $49.98 to "free with any purchase at the Salvation Army.")

Since James Toney allowed himself to be humiliated (for a large paycheck) in a cage-fight at UFC 118, it’s only fair that a representative from the UFC should let Toney try to redeem himself in a boxing ring. Could an MMA star hang with a boxing champ with 12-ounce gloves, no leg kicks, no takedowns, player? If Vitor Belfort gets his way — and we sincerely hope he does — the MMA vs. boxing freak show timeline may get a unique new chapter. As the Phenom tweeted this weekend:

"Dana let me fight James Tony on 6 round boxe Mach I think I can catch him with my speed…Dana will be the 1 boxing match in Ufc I promise he will fell my power and we will show the world the a Ufc fighter can do better"

Okay, we all know that the UFC isn’t in the business of putting on six-round boxing matches, historically speaking. But giving Vitor a day-pass to box James Toney outside of his UFC contract sounds like great publicity to me. I know the dude has a #2 middleweight contender’s match lined up for November, but come on, Belfort wins this fight nine times out of ten and goes home to his nude model wife completely unscathed. And it shouldn’t surprise you that the Dark Emperor is down with the idea…

(War Machine getting ready for the Miss Jail Rat 2010 pageant.)

We were disappointed, though not totally surprised today when we visited War Machine’s Twitter page and found that the beleaguered fighter’s prison blogs had been removed.

We figured it was only a matter of time before prison or court officials got wind of War’s documented exploits behind bars that included drinking prison moonshine and finding a fellow inmate’s fishing line used to share contraband with other cons in his cell block.

Apparently we were right on the money with our estimate that he wouldn’t get through three weeks without getting in trouble and that his big house blogs would be his undoing.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

("Screw you, society. Jail ain’t so bad after all.")

Considering I also picked Chael Sonnen to win Saturday night, I got an eerily similar empty feeling when I read War Machine’s latest "Big House Blog" and learned that my proclamation that he wouldn’t get through three weeks without getting into some kind of tomfoolery didn’t come to fruition.

I thought for sure that  alcohol+War Machine = spitbag and handcuffs, but apparently the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver has matured behind bars and instead of scrapping anyone and everyone after consuming his IQ in Jagerbombs, he has taken to sipping his toilet wine while engaging in stimulating conversation with murderous Somalian Muslims.

Who knew jail would have such a good influence on War?

 
(Scrabble? I pictured War Machine as more of a Tiddly Winks kind of guy.)

Well, War Machine got through his second week in the clink without any controversy, which is nearly as surprising as Paulo Filho making it to his scheduled Impact FC appearance.

Other than getting ripped off for his phone credits, Machine’s week, which mostly consisted of reading and taking advice from convicted felons, was relatively serene, but considering he has 50 weeks remaining in his one-year sentence, we’re not holding our collective breath that things won’t go sideways at some point in the near future.

("It’s not you, homey, I was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier." Photo courtesy of Sherdog)

Thanks to his most recent bar brawl, former UFC fighter War Machine has been keepin’ it real in San Diego Central Jail since July 16th, where he’ll be stuck for a year. (Or less, with good behavior. So probably about a year.) Luckily, that won’t stop the adult film star from updating his fans about his life and observations. Relaying messages to a friend on the outside, Machine was able to send out the following missive late last night. From WarMachine170 via MissRARA:

What’s up guys!? I’m gonna do a weekly blog for this year while I’m locked up. Just want to keep y’all posted and give you some insight on what it’s like here for me. When I first got here I was told I was gonna be kept in segregation to pretect myself since I’m a "celebrity." I told them NO WAY! 23 hours a day lockdown? FUCK THAT! So they stuck me in the "mainline." They classified me a 5 on a scale 1-6 so I’m with the big dogs. Everyone here has been to prison. Few guys in my unit are murderers waiting to be shipped out to prison for life. Funny, kinda odd, but they are the most friendly of the bunch… Most intelligent too. Hardest thing about this place is finding people you can have a decent conversation with.

(See, this only looks like a picture of Chael Sonnen getting arm-barred by Jeremy Horn at UFC 60. It’s actually just a clever Chael Sonnen impersonator. PicProps: Susumu)

So in a nutshell, here’s what Chael Sonnen would currently have us believe about his “fake” Twitter feed: Back in February, some enterprising imposter started an account in Sonnen’s name for the purpose of … well, we’re not sure exactly why … but over the next four months only used the account to post a grand total of 10 tweets (two of which link to Sonnen’s website) and did such a good job parroting the middleweight’s distinctively crazy voice that not only did no one notice the charade, but the UFC’s official twitter feed and Sonnen’s own “official campaign” Twitter account both became followers of the "fake" Chael Sonnen.

At least that’s the story Sonnen seemed to be sticking to as recently as Friday, when he appeared on stage for a Q&A session with luminaries from the UFC Fight Club in Vancouver and again reportedly claimed that he does not have a Twitter account. This despite the small matter of a video from a couple months back where he not only admits it to Ariel Helwani (at about the 45:40 mark) but spells out the “fake” account’s address so we can all find it.

Apparently, if someone is impersonating Chael Sonnen on Twitter, they’re doing such a great job that even he thought it was his real account for a while there.

(Who’d you rather…punch?)

Apparently Jamie Yager doesn’t much like being called a quitter.

After watching last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter 11, in which his coach Tito Ortiz called him a quitter for failing to answer the bell in the third round in his quarterfinal match-up with Josh Bryant, The Chosyn 1 jumped on Twitter to voice his displeasure with The Huntington Beach Badboy’s two-facedness.

(Images courtesy of twitter.com/Randy_Couture and twitter.com/JayHieron.)

Judging from the typos in his Twitter update, he might have been drunk when it happened. But at least Randy didn’t get the name of some chick branded on his arm, which would have to be covered up by a half-assed tribal design in about six months. For the uneducated, "Ferrum Ferro Acuitur" is a Latin phrase meaning "iron sharpens iron." It’s a reference to Proverbs 27 ("…so one man sharpens another"), and when included in an MMA fighter’s tattoo, it basically means that if you surround yourself with strong people, you will become stronger yourself. As for the Fleur-de-Lis, it’s either a symbol of Couture’s French lineage, or a tribute to GSP’s calf.

Well now we don’t know what to believe. Here’s Dana, denying the recent Chuck vs. Rich rumors via Twitter. He goes on to say that "Nothing happened to Tito. Tito and I are cool." Good to know. Still, could all of these reports have been inaccurate? Why the weirdness from Tito lately? Is Randy bummed that he won’t be getting James Toney?

(I don’t know Marcus, I thought some of those photos were quite fetching.)

Marcus Davis has deleted his Twitter remark wishing Dan Hardy death via AIDS, and attempted to explain away the “Dark&Bad taste” comment by pointing out that Hardy was at least partially responsible for some unflattering photoshops of him. To what extent Hardy is to blame for the exact homosexual nature of those efforts is debatable, but what seems pretty clear is that, at least in Davis’s mind, those were worse than wishing death upon someone. Just when you think he might have realized that it’s a bad idea to get into this sort of thing at all, he follows it up by tweeting, “Would it have been better if I said hit by a car?”

When you really think about it, that’s a tough one. Getting hit by a car doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing as being killed by a car, so there’s that. But if we assume that Davis would also wish for Hardy to die of his injuries, what then? At least someone who gets AIDS has a chance to say goodbye to their family and gain a new perspective on the circle of life and other such bullshit before they pass. The person killed by a speeding Audi doesn’t ever get the opportunity to set his past wrongs right. Then again, he also doesn’t have to suffer in hospital rooms or get all weak and lesion-y like Tom Hanks in "Philadelphia."

And thus has a man nicknamed “The Irish Hand Grenade” plunged us into a philosophical quandary with a couple of garbled sentences. Really makes you wonder what Jean-Paul Sartre could have accomplished if he had lived to Twitter.

(Arianny Celeste self-shot bikini pics: The reason why Twitter was invented. Photo courtesy of twitpic.com/photos/ariannyceleste.)

There was a time when you had to be a well-connected MMA journalist to keep tabs on where fighters were training and who their next opponents would be. Now you can do what we do — stay in bed with your laptop all day and follow them on Twitter. We call that progress. In case you’re not as tweet-obsessed as us, or if you’re simply too old to understand what the social-networking site is — ‘sup, dad — here’s what to do: Start an account, follow twitter.com/cagepotatomma, then start adding the pages below, which represent the 25 most informative and entertaining MMA-related Twitter feeds currently in operation. Your life will change in ways you never expected. And so, in alphabetical order…

twitter.com/allelbows
Bio: "mma shooter"
Known for her artfully crafted action shots and revealing portraiture, Esther Lin might be the greatest MMA photographer working today. Lately she’s been juggling gigs for MMAFighting, Strikeforce and Showtime, and the best of her work can always be found on her website, allelbows.com. Follow Esther’s tweets for photo updates and observations from her life behind the lens.
Sample tweet: "Fighters Are Dirty: the toilet in my hotel photoshoot room has pee all over it! Guys! Lift up the seat or aim better!"

twitter.com/amirmma
Bio: "Winner of The Ultimate Fighter 7"
It turns out that Amir Sadollah‘s awkward brand of ultra-dry humor is perfectly suited to short bursts of 140 characters or less. Like most UFC fighters, he spends a lot of time tweeting about publicity appearances and food. Unlike most UFC fighters, he somehow manages to make it all genuinely entertaining.
Sample tweet: "Yes Macs are expensive. But you can’t get a virus with them so I save money on condoms."

twitter.com/AriannyCeleste
Bio: "im not that cool. lover not a fighter."
Thanks to Twitter, stalking hot chicks has never been easier! UFC ring-girl goddess Arianny Celeste takes the guesswork out of our unhealthy obsession with her by generously sharing details about where she is, who she’s with, and what she’s doing, pretty much at all times. Also: Bikini pics and bikini pics and bikini pics. Why go anywhere else?
Sample tweet: "http://twitpic.com/112o0r – On my way 2 see an agency. Hope they like me, if not I’ll kick them in the groin area n give em stank eye."

Personally, I blame Chael "Epic Troll" Sonnen, who recently proved that even if you have a somewhat dull fighting style, MMA fans will start caring about you as soon as you accuse Anderson Silva of being an overrated punk who’s fluent in both English and Spanish. Sonnen’s recent success in playing the heel is only encouraging trash-talkers to get bolder with their call-outs, and the latest instigator is UFC welterweight contender Josh Koscheck, who has been on Twitter the last couple of days demanding that Tito Ortiz fight him. Considering that Koscheck is two weight classes smaller than Ortiz, this seems like a fight that Ortiz would actually take, although the HBBB hasn’t responded yet.

Obviously, the matchup would never be approved by the UFC or any athletic commission in this country*, even if Kos went on an all-Bojangles diet for the next three months. And in that sense, the call-out is virtually useless, outside of the fact that it gets us talking about Josh Koscheck for a few minutes one Tuesday afternoon. It’s like when somebody says "I’d kick your ass if my friends weren’t holding me back." In this analogy, the "friends" represent the 35-pound weight differential. You’re talking shit with a safety net. Yes, Josh, in the old days of the UFC, you’d occasionally see a guy like Keith Hackney beating the crap out of a guy like Emmanuel Yarborough. But I’m not sure that argument’s strong enough to convince Dana to toss out the unified rules on your behalf.

* Wait a minute. Are they just building up heat for a future headlining fight in Abu Dhabi? Oh God, no.

It’s like we’ve always said: Shane Carwin is the best. Thanks for sticking up for us, CAPLOCKHAL. Now please don’t ever do that again.

Previously: Shane Carwin Is Not Amused By Our Antics

Yeah bro! If you have a Twitter account, please add us at Twitter.com/CagePotatoMMA. We’ll be using it to keep you updated on important shit coming out of CagePotato HQ, as well as our random MMA-related observations. Thanks so much, and spread the word!