(Pikeew pikeew! I got you! Nu-uh! I totally got you first!) 

In the past three years, Thiago Silva has been knocked out by Lyoto Machida, out-grappled by Rashad Evans, suspended from the UFC for attempting to mask his roid-filled urine after his fight with Brandon Vera, and out struck by Alexander Gustafsson. Needless to say, Silva is probably going to get axed if he doesn’t win big against Stanislav Nedkov at the pair’s upcoming duel at UFC on FUEL 6. The undefeated Nedkov has also spent more time on the shelf than off lately, battling injuries and visa issues for the better part of his two-year UFC career, but barring any last minute issues, these two will clash on November 10th in Cotai, Macau. And based on their finishing ratios, we’re fairly certain that this one will end inside of three rounds.

So in honor of the occasion, we’ve dug up Silva’s last official victory — which came over Keith Jardine via knockout (I know, you’re shocked too) at UFC 102 in August of 2009 — and placed it after the jump for your enjoyment. Because it is Halloween after all, and who won’t sleep better knowing that the scary monster in your closet can easily be felled with a solid left hook?

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

You know what the most painful part of Chris Tuchscherer‘s loss to Gabriel Gonzaga at UFC 102 was? Getting place-kicked in the nuts, obviously. But you know what the second most painful part of that loss was? The fact that he was basically forced to keep fighting by inept Portland officials. While fans figured Tuchscherer’s decision to fight on after the illegal groin-shot was simply because he’s a tough son of a bitch, Chris told a different story to MMA Junkie:

(Props: TATAMETV)

When we first saw that video of Anderson Silva’s fighter impressions we didn’t think it was anything more than an amusing party trick. But it turns out that the Spider’s gift for mimicry has a real-world application: He can use it to impersonate people that his teammates will be fighting. The above clip shows Silva doing his best Randy Couture in a sparring session with Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira before UFC 102. It’s just another reason why you’d want to be on Anderson’s team, rather than going up against it — though personally, we think Randy should sue Silva for libel over the way he threw those kicks at the 0:27 and 1:47 marks.

Semi-related: Anderson Silva’s dumbstruck reaction to Nate Marquardt calling him out at UFC 102, after the jump.

(Rising and falling: Nate Marquardt and Randy Couture. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Following UFC 102, we’ve updated the middleweight, light-heavyweight, and heavyweight pages in our Power Rankings section. Some notable changes:

– Nate Marquardt moves up to #3 in the 185-pound rankings after his knockout of Demian Maia (who drops to #9). Gegard Mousasi leaves the middleweight list (he’s here now) and Vitor Belfort sneaks in at #10 to fill the gap.

– Thiago Silva replaces Renato Sobral as the #10-ranked light-heavyweight following his KO of Keith "Sardine" Jardine.

– Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira moves to #3 on the heavyweight list, while Randy Couture sinks to #10. That’s what happens when you go two years without winning a fight.

Check ‘em out and let us know how you feel.
(BG)

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC. For part one of the 8/29 Randyvlog, which features Couture’s pre-fight preparation, visits from Wanderlei Silva and Brock Lesnar, and Randy’s walkout, click here.)

If you’re going to lose a fight, you might as well do it surrounded by people who love you. Randy Couture — who described Saturday night in Portland as the loudest audience he’s ever fought in front of — was given a hero’s reception by all the fans in attendance at UFC 102 as well as everyone he came across backstage. The above video-blog shows excerpts from his fight against Nogueira shot cageside (right behind the guy with the airhorn!), as well as the aftermath, in which Randy is examined by a doctor and takes questions at the post-event press conference. It’s hard to predict where Couture’s fight career will go from here, but with fan response this overwhelmingly positive, the Natural’s days of high-profile fights in the Octagon are far from over.

(Even when you’ve knocked your opponent into a 180-degree tailspin, the Bad Boy eyes are always watching. Photo courtesy of Tracy Lee via Cagewriter.)

The UFC paid out $1,525,000 in reported salaries and bonuses for UFC 102, with the night’s headliners taking home just over half of the total. The numbers are below. Keep in mind that they don’t include income from sponsorships, cuts of the pay-per-view revenue (which Randy Couture reportedly receives), or the UFC’s shadowy "locker room bonuses" (which Silva and Duffee likely got a taste of).

– Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira: $460,000 (includes $150,000 win bonus and $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Randy Couture: $310,000 (includes $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
– Nate Marquardt: $140,000 (includes $40,000 win bonus and $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
– Gabriel Gonzaga: $120,000 (includes $60,000 win bonus)
– Jake Rosholt: $86,000 (includes $13,000 win bonus and $60,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
– Brandon Vera: $70,000 (includes $35,000 win bonus)
– Thiago Silva: $58,000 (includes $29,000 win bonus)
– Keith Jardine: $55,000

("So, I feel that I’ll be comfortable wherever the fight goes, and as long as I can stick to my gameplan and — Shawn, if you don’t get that Flip Cam out of my face, I’m going to stomp you a new asshole. Seriously. Last warning." Photo courtesy of this set on Combat Lifestyle.)

The word "legend" gets thrown around a lot in this sport, to the point where it loses much of its meaning. Well, we won’t bother with the cliches. Suffice it to say that two old dudes are going to fight in Portland tonight, and one of them is so old that it’s hard to believe he’s still fighting, and the other is actually more old-looking than old, and maybe it would have been better if they fought like five years ago, in a city where people could actually afford to go see it, but here we are, and what are you gonna do.

Elsewhere on the card, Keith Jardine and Thiago Silva clash in a high-profile light-heavyweight scrap, while Nate Marquardt and Demian Maia fight for what may or may not turn out to be a #1 middleweight contender spot. Live UFC 102 results await you after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. Let’s have a good, clean liveblog. Obey all my instructions, and protect yourself at all times. If you want to order pizza, do it now, and go back to your couches.

("That was me, Gabriel Gonzaga, before I joined Nutrisystem and Alcoholics Anonymous." Photo courtesy of this set on Combat Lifestyle.)

Spoilers after the jump…

("One more question, then I gotta get the fuck out of here. Yes, Helen Thomas. What’s on your mind, gorgeous?" Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The UFC held a press conference yesterday in Portland to discuss tomorrow night’s UFC 102 card, as well as other issues related to the organization’s future. Some highlights…

– Even though the UFC already has two events slated for November — UFC 105 (11/14, Manchester) and UFC 106 (11/21, Las Vegas) — Dana White revealed that a third November show was in the works, to be headlined by the lightweight championship fight between BJ Penn and Diego Sanchez; Penn/Sanchez was originally reported as the main event for #105. And get this: White said the tentative third November event wouldn’t be broadcast on pay-per-view or Spike. Could a network TV deal be in the works? “Wait and see boys… if I can pull this one off,” White said. "We’ve never had more [network] interest than right now. Obviously, I think all the hard work we’ve done over nine years and UFC 100 had a big part in it, too. I’m pretty confident we’re gonna have a deal very, very soon. I like what I’m hearing now more than I ever did before."

– Dana White may seem determined to counter-program Strikeforce to extinction, but his hostility has nothing to do with Scott Coker. Honestly. As he told reporters, “I’m not anti-Strikeforce, I don’t dislike those guys. I dislike Showtime, that’s who I dislike. I think they’re dicks, I don’t like them. I don’t like their attitude; they think they are better than they really are…The guy over at Showtime who I’m talking about knows who he is and I dislike him very much and my beef is with him, not really Strikeforce. They sucked at boxing, they got their ass kicked by HBO always at boxing yet they tried to stay in it. They got their ass kicked by HBO in programming, but they’re still around and they’re going to get their ass kicked in mixed martial arts too, just not by HBO.”

While aimlessly cruising Wikipedia last night, I learned that Keith Jardine‘s first loss came in his third pro fight back in February 2002, against MMA ironman Travis Wiuff in the quarterfinals of an Extreme Challenge eight-man heavyweight tournament in Iowa. Coincidentally, it was Wiuff’s third fight as well, and it took Diesel just six seconds to claim a victory via straight-right directly on Jardine’s off-button. The video is above, and the action starts at the 2:18 mark. Wiuff would go on to lose to Mike Radnov in the semis, while Radnov lost to tournament-winner Ben Rothwell in the finals.

Following the Wiuff fight, Jardine went on a 6-0-1 run, joined the second season of The Ultimate Fighter, and quickly found himself in marquee fights against Forrest Griffin, Chuck Liddell, Wanderlei Silva, and Quinton Jackson. This Saturday, he’ll take on Thiago Silva at UFC 102. If you believe in streaks, then the Dean of Mean has this one wrapped up. And of course, if he ever decides to walk out to the cage as Techno Viking, he’ll be unstoppable.

(Tuchscherer puts Alexey Oleinik right where he wants him during the semi-finals of YAMMA Pit Fighting last April. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

With a record of 17-1 and wins over UFC vets like Krzysztof Soszynski, Travis Fulton, and Branden Lee Hinkle, Chris Tuchscherer has been paying his dues for over five years. And yet, the 33-year-old North Dakota native and former two-time NCAA Division II All-American wrestler was told "no dice" when he tried out for TUF 10 earlier this year. Luckily, the UFC came to their senses and decided to give the Crowbar a shot against Gabriel Gonzaga at UFC 102 this Saturday, in a match that could be pivotal for both of their careers. After months of training with long-lost-twin Brock Lesnar, Tuchscherer is ready to test his might in the Octagon. And his first opponent had better watch the hell out…

***

CAGEPOTATO: You tried out for the tenth season of The Ultimate Fighter, and ended up with a contract to fight Gabriel Gonzaga. How exactly did that come about?
CHRIS TUCHSCHERER: I thought I was going to get on the show — I tried out, everything was looking good, I got a second interview — then I got home and I got a call saying I wasn’t going to make the show. Later on that week, I got an e-mail from Joe Silva with a contract offer, so it worked out for the best. But I honestly couldn’t tell you why it went down like that. I was never told, like, “your record is this good, so we just want you to have a contract.”

If you did end up as a castmember on this season of TUF, how do you think you’d do?
I think I would have done very well. I would have seen myself as one of the guys to make it to the finals.

At UFC 102 you’ll be facing Gabriel Gonzaga, who’s very dangerous but has been somewhat inconsistent during his time in the UFC. Do you view this fight as a big step up in competition?
Well, I’ve faced some pretty good guys in the past. Gonzaga’s made his resume as a dangerous opponent in every aspect of the game, so I guess it’ll be a step up in competition considering where he’s been so far, but I don’t look at him as being any better of a man than me, or intimidating to me, because we’re all the same. He got his shot in the UFC in a different way, he made a name for himself right when he got in there, and he is who is now.

I’ve seen a few of your fights online, and your general strategy seems to be to take your opponent down and finish the fight with strikes from the top. Is that pretty much how it’s going to go down against Gonzaga?

(Props: CageWriter)

In the above interview with Steve Cofield, Brandon Vera says he sees little difference between his UFC 102 opponent Krzysztof Soszynski and his original opponent, Matt Hamill, aside from their records, their stance, and the fact that K-Sos’s name is much harder to pronounce. Vera respects Soszynski’s clinch game and strength, but hopes the fight will stay standing: "If somebody decides that they want to stand in front of me and bang, it’s gonna be a show. You’ll be able to see some stuff that I haven’t pulled out of the closet yet, because I haven’t had the chance. So if you got somebody that’s willing just to stand there and trade with me, it’s gonna be some good times." Unfortunately for Vera, Soszynski is no Mike Patt.

After the jump: K-Sos talks about his experience on The Ultimate Fighter, his gameplan for Vera, and the UFC’s stacked 205-pound division.

(Props: Planetamma.com.br via MMA Mania)

Though it was snubbed from the UFC 102 extended trailer, the middleweight bout between Nate Marquardt and Demian Maia is as significant as any other fight on the card. At most, the winner will find himself one win away from a shot at Anderson Silva‘s 185-pound title. In the above video profile, Marquardt says his goal is to be the best in every area of MMA. He’ll try to keep the fight standing, but he isn’t afraid to go to the ground with Maia. After the jump, Maia describes jiu-jitsu as the "boat" that led him to MMA, and says he’ll be sticking to his strengths next Saturday. "It’s no secret, if I can grapple with him I prefer [it]." So whose gameplan will come out on top? Your predictions, please…

(Props: Heavy via MMA Mania)

This coming weekend will be a quiet one in the world of MMA, but two Saturdays from now, the UFC will descend on Portland’s Rose Garden Arena for UFC 102, which will be headlined by a heavyweight battle between two legends — Randy Couture and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. The above video trailer does its best to downplay their recent losses to Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir, respectively, but Dana White does mention that it’s a fight where "we’re going to see where they are in the heavyweight division." The storyline for Randy (as always) is that he can never be counted out, even though he’s 46 years old, while Joe Rogan calls Minotauro "one of the most durable fighters to ever fight in all of mixed martial arts" and drools over his submission prowess.

The other featured bout in the trailer is Keith Jardine vs. Thiago Silva. The Dean of Mean isn’t too bothered by his rocky path in the light-heavyweight division, saying "I’m taking the hard road to the title, but I’m gonna make it to the top, it’s only a matter of time." Also: "My goal is find my opponent’s soul and take it from him." As Joe Rogan sees it, this fight "represents to me two guys who are desperately in need for a win…two guys coming off losses with a lot to prove."

Related: Citing Oregon’s deep recession and aggressive tax policy, MMA Payout reports that UFC 102 is far from sold out, particularly in the higher-priced sections. So if you live near the Rose Garden, you may want to show up the day of the event…

(Photo courtesy of Newsday.)

— TUF 3 finalist Ed Herman, who broke a two-fight skid in April with a unanimous decision win over David Loiseau, has been tapped to replace James "Job" Irvin against Wilson Gouveia at UFC 102, according to Sherdog. Irvin was forced to withdraw from the fight this week due to yet another serious knee injury. Herman was previously scheduled to face Aaron Simpson at UFC Fight Night 19 (September 16th, Oklahoma City).

— UFC 104 (October 24th, Los Angeles) will reportedly host a lightweight battle between Joe Stevenson and Spencer Fisher. "Joe Daddy" broke a two-fight losing streak of his own when he scored a decision win over Nate Diaz at the TUF 9 finale in June. Fisher is riding a three fight win-streak and most recently outpointed Caol Uno at UFC 99. The match will likely be on the main card, supporting the light-heavyweight title fight between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua.

(Looks like somebody’s heading to the glue factory. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Seriously, the Amir Sadollah Curse doesn’t even come close. Carmichael Dave broke the news yesterday that James Irvin, who was scheduled to face Wilson Gouveia later this month at UFC 102, has been forced to drop out of the match due to a serious knee injury suffered in training which will likely require surgery. And that means it’s time to update the James Irvin "Why Me?" timeline…

— 6/9/06: A Strikeforce match between Irvin and Bobby Southworth ends in a no-contest after both fighters fell out of the cage. Irvin screwed up his left leg during the tumble and couldn’t continue fighting.

— 5/26/07: Irvin tears the ACL and MCL of his right knee during a UFC 71 match against Thiago Silva, and the fight is ruled a TKO victory for Silva.

The light-heavyweight match between Matt Hamill and Brandon Vera — which was scheduled to open the broadcast of UFC 102 (August 29th, Portland) — has been canceled, as Hamill was forced to pull out of the fight due to a torn meniscus in his knee. Luckily, TUF 8 standout Krzysztof Soszynski was available to fill in, and he’ll be taking on Vera in Hamill’s place.

It’ll be gut-check time for both fighters. K-Sos has looked fantastic in his current 3-0 run in the UFC, taking out Shane Primm and Brian Stann by kimura and knocking out Andre Gusmao at UFC 98, but he needs a win over a bigger-name opponent to establish himself as a true contender in the division. Meanwhile, Brandon Vera has gone from hot heavyweight prospect to 205-pound question mark during his time in the Octagon. He most recently chopped down Mike Patt with leg kicks at UFC 96, which got him back to the W column after a previous split-decision loss against Keith Jardine. A win against Soszynski would prove that the Truth is still a factor; a loss solidifies his status as a gatekeeping can-crusher.

(Image courtesy of the UFC)

Earlier today, the UFC distributed its first poster image for UFC 102 (August 29th; Portland, Oregon), making the top two fights official — Randy Couture vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in the main event, and Keith Jardine vs. Thiago Silva as a lead-in. Interesting…is this the first UFC event that’s being headlined by four guys who are coming off losses? Would it have been that hard to slot Demian Maia and Nate Marquardt (who are also on the card) in the co-main spot? After all, that fight will produce a legitimate middleweight title contender, even if Michael Bisping or Dan Henderson could sneak to the front of the line depending on their performance next month. Meanwhile, Jardine and Silva aren’t getting close to the 205-pound belt anytime soon.

Tickets to UFC 102 go on sale to Fight Club members on Thursday, newsletter members on Friday, and will probably be sold out by the time they’re released to the general public on Saturday. In addition to Couture/Nogueira, Jardine/Silva, and Maia/Marquardt, the following bouts have also been confirmed for UFC 102, according to UFC.com:

(Blonde ambition: Chris Tuchscherer with his road-dog Brock Lesnar. Photo courtesy of snbcmma.com.)

Though Gabriel Gonzaga is one of the most fearsome can-crushers in the sport, he has repeatedly struggled against high-level competition during his tenure in the UFC. Now coming off a knockout loss to Shane Carwin at UFC 96 — his third defeat in his last five fights — Gonzaga may be getting his "win or GTFO" matchup. MMA Weekly reports that "Napao" and UFC newcomer Chris Tuchscherer have agreed to face each other at UFC 102, which is scheduled for August 29th in Portland.

(Sonnen gives Paulo Filho an intervention, Team Quest-style. Photo courtesy of BaltimoreSun.com.)

Although initial reports claimed that Ed Herman would be stepping in for the injured Yushin Okami against Dan Miller at UFC 98 (May 23rd, Las Vegas), there’s been another change in plans. It seems that Herman has declined the fight — likely because he just competed at UFC 97 and the five-week turnaround would be too short — and Okami’s actual replacement will be Herman’s Team Quest teammate Chael Sonnen.

Sonnen was most recently submitted by Demian Maia in his UFC return fight in February, which dropped his overall Octagon record to 1-3. The WEC/Bodog vet was slated to face Wilson Gouveia at UFC 102 (August 29th; Portland, Oregon) and still hopes to take that fight if his scrap with Dan Miller goes well. Though considering Miller’s skill with submissions (and Sonnen’s tendency to get submitted), Sonnen may be out of a job by this summer.

In other news…

Demian Maia’s camp may have been expecting a middleweight title shot in August, but instead they’re getting what can only be considered a number one contender match with Nate Marquardt.  Maia confirmed the news on his official website, saying the fight is on for UFC 102 in Portland, Oregon.  Obviously it’s one hell of an interesting bout on paper, but the timing of this announcement begs the question, did Anderson Silva screw Maia out of a title shot with his performance against Thales Leites at UFC 97?

If we can believe half of the rumors we hear, this is going to be a busy summer for UFC champs.  According to Fighters Only, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is slated to get a shot at whoever has the belt around his waist after Rashad Evans and Lyoto Machida go at it at UFC 98.  That fight is tentatively scheduled for August, perhaps even at UFC 102, the event still shrouded in mystery and speculation.  

If that’s the case, that would put it a mere three months after the Evans/Machida clash.  As you clever devils no doubt recall, Evans balked at fighting at UFC 96 in March because he’d just fought at UFC 92 in December, so you know he’s no fan of the quick turnaround.  Plus, there’s the injury factor to consider.  If Machida wins chances are he will have sustained no damage in the fight, since he can probably count the number of times he’s actually been punched in the face.  But if Evans wins it’s kind of a lot to ask for him to defend his title again three months later.

This is exactly why you need to save your sick days at your job.  No one’s going to believe it when you call in and tell them you came down with a bad case of shingles an hour before you’re supposed to work a double.  Trust me.

(Dos Santos makes short work of Stefan "Skyscraper" Struve at UFC 95 in February. Photo courtesy of DayLife.com.)

There are some MMA fans who will tell you that Junior Dos Santos is one of the ten best heavyweights in the world. Personally, I think he needs one more win over a credible opponent before he becomes Power Ranking-worthy, but I won’t deny that he’s got serious talent and potential. Which is why it’s strange that for his third fight in the Octagon, he’s being given someone near the very bottom of the UFC heavyweight totem pole. MMA Junkie reports that Dos Santos and Justin McCully have agreed to face each other at UFC 102 (August 29th; Portland, Oregon). So, quick MMA Math…

Junior Dos Santos wasted Fabricio Werdum, who pwned Gabriel Gonzaga, who made McCully his bitch = OMFG can this fight even get approval by the Oregon State Athletic Commission?

A source close to the camp of UFC middleweight contender Demian Maia has informed Cage Potato that the Brazilian is expected to be offered the next middleweight title shot against the winner of the Anderson Silva/Thales Leites bout (in other words, Silva) late this summer.

There’s no official date set, but our source says Maia’s camp is expecting the bout to take place in late August, which would most likely put it at UFC 102 in Portland, Ore.  The middleweight title bout would certainly bolster a card that’s rumored to be headlined by Randy Couture returning home to the Pacific Northwest to take on Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. 

If anybody’s earned a shot at the middleweight strap, it’s Maia.  The undefeated submissions wiz made Chael Sonnen look like a novice in his last bout, and his jiu-jitsu skills would offer a challenge that we haven’t yet seen Silva face during his run as UFC champion.

Stay tuned for more details as they emerge.