(Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

Between Fight Night 19 and UFC 103, complete with the glitchy undercard broadcasted poorly on Spike TV, if you didn’t get enough MMA last week then odds are you have a problem.  Sorry, but it’s true.  And no matter how much you might want them to, takedowns and superman punches will never fill that void inside of you.  For the rest of you, join us to look at who’s up and who’s down after UFC 103 via the completely arbitrary and not all that helpful numerical ranking system of the Potato Index.  It’s what we do.

Vitor Belfort +178
A more patient “Phenom” proves he still has it, and against the best fighter he’s faced in years.  The UFC’s middleweight division needs new blood, but can he really threaten Anderson Silva?

Rich Franklin -112
Lucky for him Belfort is dropping to middleweight, so he’s still the king of the 195 lbs. division.  Was it really necessary for Joe Rogan to make him watch the replay and attempt to make sense of it?  Kind of like asking someone who just came out of surgery to shake off the anesthesia and tell us about that kidney removal.  They aren’t likely to have much insight to offer just then.

("I’m sorry to tell you this, Mirko, but we discovered a scratch on your cornea. Also, there seems to be a large quantity of sand in your vagina." Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

— The UFC handed out its traditional end-of-night bonuses following UFC 103, which totaled $65,000 this time around. Fight of the Night went to Rick Story and Brian Foster, whose two-round bang-up ended with Story sinking in an arm-triangle choke. For this, Story also got the Submission of the Night Award; not a bad payday for an up-and-coming fighter. KO of the night went to Vitor Belfort for his old-Vitor-esque first-round smashing of Rich Franklin. The event drew a sellout crowd of 17.428 fans to the American Airlines Center in Dallas, producing a live gate of $2.4 million.

— During the post-event press-conference, Dana White made his intentions known about Belfort’s place in the UFC middleweight division: "To be honest with you, the way the last two fights happened with Marquardt and Henderson against Anderson Silva, I think it would be better to see them fight each other, and the winner of that become the next contender. I think Vitor is ready to fight Anderson Silva (now)…I love the fact that we have Vitor at that weight class." Belfort credited his win to a new focus on karate: "It’s just something that I want to use right now. I was taking my time. I was feeling the fight. As soon as I see something, I make sure I have the zip code, the address and the social security number…Sometimes I take my time; sometimes I’m aggressive. But as soon as I start, I make sure I fight. That’s what people want to see."

(‘Hey guys, I like you both, but I’m going for ice cream later and there’s only one open seat in my convertible.  I’ll let you two sort this out however you deem necessary.’ Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Looking for live results, sort of clever commentary, and pithy observations all rolled into one for tonight’s UFC 103?  Then you’re in the right place.  We’ll follow the action from Spike TV to pay-per-view as we wait for the most important 195-pound bout since Rich Franklin vs. Wanderlei Silva to be decided.  And on this night when MMA and boxing are supposedly going head-to-head, we promise that we won’t even mention Floyd Mayweather.  Oh crap, we blew it already, didn’t we?  Screw it.  Remember to hit refresh often to keep up with the action.