(We haven’t seen anything look this lifeless in Hughes’ arms since the end of the second B.J. Penn fight. Hi-yo!)

Matt Hughes still hasn’t said for sure what his future in the UFC will look like, opting instead to narrow down possible matchups through the process of elimination.  But just because he hasn’t been given anybody to ground-and-pound recently doesn’t mean he’s lost his taste for blood.  Hughes posted pictures from his recent deer hunt on his blog, and also took time to congratulate HIT Squad product Brian Foster on his brutal TKO of Brock Larson:

Last Saturday was UFC 106, HIT Squad’s own Brian Foster fought a very tough Brock Larsen. I knew the match up was going to be tough, so we really put our time in with Brian at the gym. If you watch the fight, you will know that Brian did very well and almost made Brock look bad. Brock’s a great guy, I’ve trained with him a lot and I’m sure he’ll rebound from this.

Almost made him look bad is one way of putting it.  Totally owned him is another.  The dominating win for Foster was a great way to bounce back from his loss to Rick Story at UFC 103.  And as you’ll see after the jump, not only did he finish the fight in impressive fashion, he also stuck the landing on the celebratory backflip.

(Scorecard image courtesy of BSurely. Click to enlarge.)

UFC 106′s Griffin/Ortiz rematch was a tricky one to judge, not just because the first two rounds were fairly even, but because it was contested both on the feet and on the ground — and as we’ve seen many times in the past, MMA judges can have vastly different opinions on the relative value of each aspect of a fight. In the end, Glenn Trowbridge saw it 29-28 for Tito Ortiz, while Marcos Rosales had it 29-28 for Griffin. The deciding vote was cast by a guy named Lester Griffin, who, from his angle, witnessed a one-sided shellacking. His 30-27 score for Forrest Griffin was later described as "crazy," "outrageous," and "insane" by Dana White. Lester was the only judge who scored round 1 for Forrest, and (along with Rosales) credited the second frame to Forrest as well, which is arguably an even more controversial choice.

So who is this guy? As jkd4200 pointed out, Lester Griffin is known to some as "Surf Dog," an original member of the full-contact stick-fighting collective Dog Brothers. Warning: What you’re about to see may shock you…

(‘Just great, Anthony. Because of you, now Josh is squinting.  Do you hear me?  Squinting!’)

As usual, Fight Magazine has a ton of awesome photos from UFC 106, including this moment of sober reflection where Anthony Johnson gets glared at by Mario Yamasaki before being sent to a neutral corner to think about what he’s done.  Johnson appeared to be pretty angry at himself for kneeing Josh Koscheck while he was down, and then he saw the replay on the big screen.  That’s when his remorse turned into indignation.  Little did he know that his own eyeball would get skewered just moments later.

To see the full gallery, go here.  To see the winner of the Punch-Face of the Night award, continue on after the jump. 

(‘Best eva!’ just doesn’t have the same ring of authority when you say it through a bunch of gauze.)

Dana White posted this picture of a battered Phil Baroni to his Twitter account today, remarking "Phil baroni sent me this today and said ‘welcome back to the ufc’ phil is tough as nails!"  True, but he might also be a tough-as-nails fighter who’s worried about losing his job, hence the subtle reminder that he endured this beatdown for the UFC’s benefit, while only pocketing $25,000 for his trouble. 

If you needed a reminder that fighting other people in a cage was a tough way to make a living, this ought to do it.  Baroni has been in the sport for nearly a decade, and, after taxes, training costs, and management, he comes away with not even enough money to buy a new Toyota Camry.  That’s ironic considering that he now looks like someone who’s been in a pretty bad car accident.  Let’s hope his sponsors came through for him.  Let’s also hope that he’s been putting some of that money away for his retirement, which might be right around the corner.

(If you ask us, that’s worth 50 grand right there. Photo courtesy of the Toronto Sun via Fightlinker.)

We’ve already passed along the headliners’ payouts from UFC 106, but now the complete salary list has been released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission, so we figured hey, why not share them with you people? The UFC paid out $1,301,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses, with 57% of that total going to Forrest Griffin, Tito Ortiz, and Josh Koscheck. Check out the pay scale below, and keep in mind that the figures don’t include income from sponsorships, undisclosed "locker-room bonuses," and cuts of the pay-per-view, or deductions for taxes, insurance, licensing fees, and tanning salon memberships.

– Forrest Griffin: $250,000 (includes $150,000 win bonus)

– Tito Ortiz: $250,000

– Josh Koscheck: $246,000 (includes $53,000 win bonus, $70,000 Fight of the Night bonus, $70,000 Submission of the Night bonus)

– Antonio Rogerio Nogueira: $170,000 (includes $30,000 win bonus, $70,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)

(Though they were locked in a tender embrace, Forrest couldn’t fight the feeling that they were slowly drifting apart. Photo courtesy of SI.com)

The data has been crunched and the numbers are in. See who’s up and who’s down after UFC 106 with another edition of the Potato Index.

Forrest Griffin +73
Is there anyone who needed a win more than FoGriff? No robbery here, he took over in the later rounds and earned that decision. He continues to be the 205-pound division’s workman fighter, even if he’s still quite a ways from being in the title hunt again.

Tito Ortiz -82
As usual, Ortiz follows up a loss with a lot of complaining and a litany of injury-related excuses. Some things never change. Still, in a strange way it’s kind of nice to have our old villain back again.

So there I am at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone after UFC 106, relaxing, enjoying some adult beverages, when the Raw Vegas producer comes up to me and asks if I’ll interview UFC Octagon girls Natasha Wicks and Logan Stanton.  Because I’m a sucker, I said yes.  Some interesting things I learned:

- The consensus opinion among the Octagon girls is that Josh Koscheck is a total faker.  This does not seem to have endeared him to them.

- All three of the girls aren’t necessarily the best of friends.  Logan wouldn’t say who the outsider is, but let’s just say that all of the girls were supposed to be at this party and only two came.

- You don’t appreciate what Dave Farra does until you have to try and do it yourself.  Then you just hate him even more.

(Tito Ortiz complains about not getting UFC 106‘s Fight of the Night bonus, and disputes the scoring of his match against Forrest Griffin. Koscheck’s expression at 2:34-2:36 pretty much sums it up. Props: Cagewriter)

— Though Josh Koscheck and Dana White have reportedly butted heads in the past, it’s clear that Kos is back on DW’s good side. For his second-round submission of Anthony Johnson at UFC 106 last night, Koscheck picked up both the $70,000 Submission of the Night bonus, and a $70,000 Fight of the Night bonus (which Johnson also received). As Dana White explained, "I have to publicly say that [Koscheck] always steps up, always wants to fight, fights the best in the world, and I’m blown away with his performance tonight." Still, is that enough justification to reward the chaotic mess that Koscheck vs. Johnson turned out to be?

Koscheck’s $140,000 bonus take adds to the $106,000 in show/win money he earned from the fight, meaning he came up just short of headliners Ortiz and Griffin, who were paid $250,000 in disclosed salary. UFC 106′s Knockout of the Night bonus went to Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, who needed just under two minutes to run over Luis Cane.

(Bruce Buffer is fairly confident that Griffin will outstrike Ortiz to a unanimous decision. Joe Rogan is peaking on a DMT trip and is desperately trying to keep his shit together as Tito’s head explodes into a screaming ball of golden phosphorescence. / Photo courtesy of the UFC 106: Weigh In Pics set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

After an ancient curse claimed Brock Lesnar, Mark Coleman, Ricardo Almeida, and Karo Parisyan — and even threatened the velvet voice of Mike Goldberg — we’ve finally arrived at tonight’s bedraggled UFC event, which will be headlined by a do-over between Tito Ortiz and Forrest Griffin. Guiding us through the action this evening is special guest liveblogger Chad Dundas; please make him feel welcome. Round-by-round results from the UFC 106 pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and say a little prayer that Josh Koscheck doesn’t accidentally gouge his eye out in the locker room while putting on his cup.

You know how some people have this magnetic quality to them that makes you want to like them, no matter what they might be saying or doing?  Guys like Jack Nicholson, or that Australian kid who threw the crazy party and refused to take off his sunglasses.  Even when they behave poorly, there’s still something about them that makes it impossible not to be on their side.  Josh Koscheck is the complete opposite of that, and he displays it perfectly in this video interview with Fight Magazine.  Here he talks ever so smugly about how Anthony Johnson doesn’t want to fight him, how he’d love to take 20% of his purse and then beat him up anyway, and how he fully intends to punish "Rumble" like the UFC wants him to.  It’s the high school bully act, and Koscheck fits into the role so easily it’s like he was born to do it.

As a contrast, Johnson couldn’t find anything bad to say about Koscheck at all.  In fact, he called Koscheck an "entertaining" fighter and said he was "really respectable as a human being."  He said those things before this video of Koscheck smirking into the camera was posted to the internet.  Hopefully someone shows it to him before the fight tomorrow night.  He should at least go into it with a clear idea of the level of jerkitude that he’s dealing with.

(Props: Heavy.com)

We’re just one day away from the return of UFC legend/unbearable heel Tito Ortiz at UFC 106, and the former light-heavyweight champ promises to go out guns blazin’ against Forrest Griffin: "I gotta put on a show, I gotta win, I gotta stop him, I gotta do what I need to do in my game to make Forrest quit." Though Ortiz claims to have improved his striking for this fight, he also won’t be giving up his bread and butter. "Every time he kicks he’s gonna be taken down. A lot of fighters don’t take advantage of that when they see Forrest kick, they try to check all the kicks. The hell with that. I’m putting him on his back. Back to the old Tito Ortiz, man, my ground and pound where it’s lethal…they’ll be carrying him out on a stretcher."

Later, Ortiz says that he doesn’t have a problem with the way that the UFC has used his name to build the careers of Griffin and Lyoto Machida, and regarding the rash of injuries and illnesses in the UFC as of late, he’d fight Forrest with a broken leg (which he clarifies he doesn’t have, but still). The only thing that matters to him right now is becoming a world champion again, one match at a time. And if that gets in the way of roles in Mark Wahlberg flicks, so be it.

And yes, he’s wearing the shades again. There’s a reason for that…

(Melanson and Parisyan, before it all fell apart. Props: elitefts.com)

In a new interview with Five Ounces of Pain, Karo Parisyan’s longtime friend and training partner Neil Melanson confirmed that Parisyan’s latest last-minute fight-cancellation was directly related to the painkiller addiction that has haunted him for years. After Melanson got permission from Karo to go public with the story, he laid it all out:

(Paulo Thiago commits a major Brazilian faux pas by wearing red after Carnival.)

It’s like that old saying, God never closes a door without opening a window so someone else can sneak inside and steal all your jewelry.  In the case of the UFC 106 main card, Karo Parisyan seems to have closed that door all by himself, and now the window is wide open for Paulo Thiago and Jacob Volkmann, whose fight has just been bumped to the televised portion of the pay-per-view. 

As you’ll no doubt recall, Thiago was originally supposed to face Thiago Alves in the most confusing match-up of names since Gegard Mousasi fought Musashi, but after some reshuffling he ended up getting the Octagon rookie Volkmann.  Just yesterday they were still relegated to the dark portion of this card, but as things continued to fall apart around UFC 106 the outlook got brighter.  Now the entire paying world will get to see them square off, with the pay-per-view broadcast currently looking like this:

(Props: twitter.com/danawhite)

Look, everybody knows that Karo Parisyan is a very troubled young man. But we’re still shocked by the now-emerging news that Parisyan has pulled out of a fight at the last minute for the second time in his UFC career, directly following his nine-month suspension for the use of unapproved meds. Judging from his tweets, it’s obvious that UFC prez Dana White has had enough of Karo’s bullshit, and we may never see the Heat inside of the Octagon ever again. As for Parisyan’s "laundry list of excuses" for canceling his UFC 106 meeting with Dustin Hazelett, MMA Weekly presents one explanation:

However, Nevada State Athletic Commission Executive Director Keith Kizer’s side of the story is quite a bit different. As he told Sherdog:

(Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Dan Henderson, 4/23/05)

Of the 22 fighters testing their fates on Saturday night, three of them will be stepping into the Octagon for the first time — but don’t expect these guys to crack under the pressure. Read on to meet the MMA veterans and submission experts who will be trying to make dominant first impressions at "Ortiz vs. Griffin II"…

ANTONIO ROGERIO NOGUEIRA (LHW)
Experience: 17-3 record, with notable victories over Dan Henderson, Alistair Overeem (twice), Kazushi Sakuraba, and Vladimir Matyushenko (in January, which avenged his first career loss). Has won his last five fights, most recently submitting Dion Staring via triangle choke in May.
Will be facing: Luis Cane (10-1 with 1 no-contest, 3-1 UFC)
Lowdown: Whether you know him better as "Minotoro" or "Lil’ Nog," there’s a good chance you’re already aware of Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira’s twin brother. The 33-year-old veteran of PRIDE, Affliction, and Sengoku has had a decorated career dating back to March 2001, and is considered by many to be one of the ten best light-heavyweights in the world right now. Though Antonio Rogerio comes from a BJJ background like his bro (who he trains with at Black House), four of his last six wins have come via TKO, and he won a bronze medal in boxing at the 2007 Pan American Games. Minotoro hasn’t lost a fight since his shock-upset KO defeat against Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou at PRIDE 33, nearly three years ago. Says Rogerio of his UFC debut: “For more than three years, UFC was my goal and now I’m just very happy to be here in the best event. The UFC has the best talent in the world, and I feel like now I’m going to be challenged like I’ve never been challenged before in my career…The fans can expect to see a very well-trained and well-prepared athlete who’s very focused and determined to win."

(Some glib video analysis of your UFC 106 betting options alongside Cagewriter‘s Steve Cofield and RawVegas.tv‘s Dave Farra.)

My father has a saying about betting on MMA fights: ‘I’m not loaning you any money, and if you so much as touch that spare change jar I’ll beat you with a shovel while you’re sleeping.’  I have no idea how that was supposed to help guide me, or for that matter, any of you, when it comes to deciding who to bet on at UFC 106 this Saturday night, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that he meant it when he said it.

The odds we’ll be using today come from BestFightOdds.com.

Forrest Griffin (-135) vs. Tito Ortiz (+130)
Josh Koscheck (+109) vs. Anthony Johnson (-115)
Amir Sadollah (-185) vs. Phil Baroni (+186)
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (-143) vs. Luis Cane (+150)
Karo Parisyan (-105) vs. Dustin Hazelett (-105)
Marcus Davis (-205) vs. Ben Saunders (+190)
Jake Rosholt (-169) vs. Kendall Grove (+165)
Paulo Thiago (-260) vs. Jacob Volkmann (+250)
Brock Larson (-465) vs. Brian Foster (+400)
Caol Uno (-285) vs. Fabricio Camoes (+235)
George Sotiropoulos (-455) vs. Jason Dent (+355)

The breakdown…

(Just relax, breathe deeply, and picture everyone in their underwear.)

It’s been a tough couple of years for Karo Parisyan.  The Armenian-born judoka who once famously declared himself “too talented to train,” has been sidelined for the last nine months due to a suspension resulting from his use of painkillers prior to his split decision win (subsequently changed to a no contest) against Dong Hyun Kim at UFC 94.  Before that, he pulled out of UFC 88 the night before the weigh-ins with a back injury aggravated by panic attacks, and that was after his TKO loss to Thiago Alves.  What I’m saying here is, the man’s been going through some trials and tribulations.

Now he returns at UFC 106 to take on submission specialist/supernerd Dustin Hazelett and the question remains, what’s the deal with Karo?  Is he still a UFC caliber fighter, or just a guy with an inflated sense of self who might fly off the handle and demand to know whether you’re aware of who he is?  According to what Parisyan told UFC.com, he realizes that he hasn’t been about much lately, and that’s because his most difficult struggle is just being trapped inside his own head:

“I’m not making any excuses for my last few fights, but anxiety played a huge role in me not being properly prepared. Anxiety takes over your life. I have it under control now, but imagine having anxiety all night and not being able to sleep because you’re worrying about every little thing. How are you going to be able to train and fight when you’re dealing with something like that?”

It’s the week of UFC 106, but coming off a trip across the pond for last weekend’s show, Dana White doesn’t feel like he has enough material for a new video blog.  Fortunately for him, his personal videographer never uploaded the fight night footage from UFC 104 in Los Angeles, so why not just put that on the internet and call it good?  Things are going smoothly at first.  DW presses the flesh with some celebrities, talks to some fighters in the locker rooms, passes by ace interviewer and hopelessly unfashionable friend of the Potato Ariel Helwani (is that a flannel shirt? is it 1994?) at the 5:15 mark.  But when he watches refereee Steve Mazzagatti’s oddly-timed stoppage in the Cain Velasquez-Ben Rothwell fight, that’s when White loses his cool just a bit.

"Mazzagatti will fuck up any fight," White says directly into the camera.  "The worst referee in the history of fighting.  Period.  I don’t care if there was a fight back in the old days, okay, the Stone Age.  Mazzagatti is the worst referee ever.  The guy has no business watching mixed martial arts, let alone refereeing it."

White then visited both Velasquez and Rothwell to make sure they both knew what a terrible referee Mazzagatti was, and after that he presumably called Mazzagatti’s children to let them know that their father is a failure.  That part must have been edited out.

(Don’t miss next week’s episode of ‘My Baroni,’ when Phil accidentally makes a date with two different ring girls on the same night!)

You may have been so excited about Tito Ortiz bringing his one-man Schadenfreude act back to the UFC that you forgot all about it, but another Octagon veteran returns at UFC 106, and it’s the NYBA himself, Phil Baroni.  When last we saw Baroni he was fending off allegations that he was pharmaceutically-enhanced before losing a one-sided decision to Joe Riggs in Strikeforce.  Now he’s one of the rare fighters to get another shot in the UFC immediately after a loss, and he takes on Amir Sadollah this Saturday night in a contest between two guys in desperate need of a win. 

So go on, Phil.  Tell us all about how bad you’re going to beat this mamaluke, or maybe something about how you’ve been avoiding having sex with your wife lately.  Come on and dazzle us.  It’s been too long and we can hardly wait to hear your new material:

“Look, I’ve said it all already,” Baroni said. “The trash talking is starting to sound like a broken record, even to me. Nothing that I say is going to affect the outcome of the fight. Nothing he says is going to affect the outcome of the fight. There is no need to hype it up because he is a big name among the fans after winning the reality show. I’m coming to reestablish myself in the UFC at his expense, and I’m sure he is coming to do the exact same thing at my expense, since he lost his last bout. …I’m done with all that, at least for now.  I’m not focused on that stuff. I’m focused on my training. I’ve got a tremendous opportunity in front of me, and I’m doing everything that I can to properly prepare so that I can take full advantage of it.”

Phil, it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.

(Props: valetudows via MMA Mania)

He’s back, and he wants his belt back. In this UFC 106 promo clip, Tito Ortiz says he plans on rebuilding himself towards the light-heavyweight title one fight at time, starting with his upcoming rematch against Forrest Griffin. "Can he withstand the pound…and pound…and poundage that I’m gonna do on him?" Ortiz asks in his usual eloquent style. "I ain’t lookin’ for submissions, I’m gonna look for hurtin’ him." Probably the most interesting part of this clip is the footage at 1:36-1:46 of Griffin storming out of the Octagon following his loss to Anderson Silva, which wasn’t shown in the original UFC 101 broadcast; Ortiz didn’t think that was too cool, by the way. At the end, Tito stares into the camera, breaking the fourth-wall: "I’m willing to die for my cause. Are yuh?"

(Props: SNETCF)

With UFC 106 poppin’ off in three weeks, it’s time for the replacement headliners to start selling their match. In the above video, Tito Ortiz talks about going from a wrestling-based training camp for Mark Coleman to switching things up for Forrest Griffin. He says that main event status is comfortable for him, and that the pressure is on Forrest. And of course, he takes time to dump some hate onto his old nemesis Lyoto Machida for running his way to a "robbery" decision against Shogun Rua last Saturday: "Step up and be a man and fight, man. This is MMA, this is not boxing where you win by points…I’m going to look for a knockout, or I’m just gonna look to hurt [Griffin]. My job is to prevail and to make sure I entertain the fans who watch."

After the jump: A somewhat less focused interview with Forrest Griffin, in which he and Ron Frazier touch on Griffin’s refusal to wear condoms, to the great disgust of Todd Duffee.

Here’s a situation that should serve as a microcosm of the MMA world for you: on Monday Brock Lesnar pulls out of his heavyweight title fight with Shane Carwin at UFC 106, citing a severe illness that Dana White is somehow certain is not the dreaded H1N1 virus.  Just two days later, the same guy who broke the Lesnar story is suggesting that he may be faking it, pointing to Lesnar’s appearance at a Vikings-Ravens game on October 18 and a conversation with White who said Lesnar didn’t sound ill when they spoke.  According to a mailbag response from Kevin Iole:

White further said Lesnar told him he is not sure if he could fight in January. I asked if Lesnar sounded ill when they spoke and he said no. White said he had breakfast with Lesnar in Las Vegas about a month ago and said Lesnar told him at that time he wanted to fight frequently. Something doesn’t add up here and this bears further watching.

In their scramble to shore up UFC 106‘s lineup after the loss of Brock Lesnar, the UFC has booked a welterweight scrap between Josh Koscheck and Anthony Johnson for the November 21st event. Koscheck first announced via Twitter that he would be co-headlining the card, and Sherdog later confirmed his opponent.

It’ll be just a four-week turnaround for Johnson, who picked up his third straight win on Saturday night with a devastating 41-second TKO of Yoshiyuki Yoshida. (Our advice: Start cutting weight now.) Koscheck is coming off a first-round TKO of Frank Trigg at UFC 103 last month, and scored his own thunderous KO of Yoshiyuki Yoshida last December. Maybe it’s not worthy of co-main status, but at least Koscheck vs. Johnson will probably end with a highlight-reel knockout. Your predictions?

(Good job, Brock, now the whole stadium’s sick. Photo courtesy of Vikings.com via MMA Mania.)

Look, we’re all disappointed that Brock Lesnar isn’t fighting Shane Carwin next month. But it’s not like he’s battling a case of the sniffles here. Reports coming out of the Lesnar camp suggest the withdrawal was sadly necessary. First, Chris Tuchscherer (from the Las Vegas Sun via Cagewriter):

Well, this is terrible news.  According to Yahoo! Sports, Brock Lesnar has pulled out of his heavyweight title defense at UFC 106 due to an illness that has sidelined him for "more than three-and-a-half weeks."  Lesnar reportedly told Dana White that he’s never been this sick before, but White, who is not in any way a medical doctor, says he does not believe it’s the Swine Flu, though the Yahoo! article doesn’t say what prompted that diagnosis. 

Judging by Shane Carwin’s Twitter, he heard the news from the MMA media and still hasn’t received any official confirmation from the UFC.  There’s no word yet on exactly how the UFC will reshuffle the lineup for UFC 106, or when Lesnar might be ready to make that title defense.  Right now, all we have is a sick heavyweight champ and a disappointed challenger.  This is why you have to wash your hands, people.  Especially after handling dead woodland creatures or sharing shotguns with strangers.

(Photo courtesy of knucklepit.)

With his original opponent Mark Coleman out due to sissiness an MCL tear Tito Ortiz will now be taking on Forrest Griffin in the co-main event of UFC 106 (November 21st, Las Vegas). UFC president Dana White confirmed the news to Yahoo! Sports last night. The two former light-heavyweight champs previously met at UFC 59 in April 2006, where Ortiz won a split-decision after battering Griffin with ground-and-pound in the first round and scoring a decisive takedown near the end of the third.

Three and a half years later, both men need a victory to redeem themselves. Ortiz hasn’t won a fight since his final whipping of Ken Shamrock in October 2006, and hasn’t competed since his unanimous decision loss to Lyoto Machida last May, which was followed by back surgery and a lengthy recovery. Forrest Griffin is now riding a two-fight losing streak after suffering back-to-back knockouts against Rashad Evans and Anderson Silva. Personally, I wouldn’t bet on the guy who’s returning from major surgery — but has Forrest’s chin become too much of a liability? Your thoughts, please…

(The Coleman: this year’s most terrifying Halloween costume. Photo courtesy of MMA Authentics.)

If Tito Ortiz thought he could call Mark Coleman a sissy for pulling out of their UFC 106 fight on November 21 without any repercussions whatsoever, he clearly didn’t account for Coleman’s manager, Mike DiSabato.  After Ortiz ripped his fighter on Twitter, DiSabato fired back by blasting Ortiz for “get[ting] personal with a legend,” then launched into a tirade about Ortiz and his porn star girlfriend, Jenna Jameson.  That’s right.  He went there:

“The only thing Coleman is afraid of when it comes to Tito is contracting swine flu from that dirty ass d-bag.  We all know where he lays his head down at night. Tito wants to get personal with a legend? OK, let’s get personal – we can all go to our porn collections and watch what Tito sleeps with night after night.”

There are only two words we can say about that.  They are OH and SNAP.  Turns out that Coleman’s purported sissyness is the result of a torn MCL, though DiSabato says Coleman will be ready to fight by January 2 and suggested that the fight be postponed until UFC 108.  Presumably that will also give Coleman’s camp more time to have Ortiz tested for swine flu, which, as we all know, is the scourge of the porn industry.

For the second time since his return to the UFC, Mark Coleman has been forced to drop out of a high-profile co-headlining bout. According to Tito Ortiz’s Twitter feed, the Hammer has withdrawn from their UFC 106 meeting, forcing Ortiz to kick someone else’s ass on November 21st. (According to Mark Coleman’s Twitter feed, Coleman is "finally on twitter trying 2 figure out how 2 use this thing lol".)

No word yet on what exactly forced the pull-out, or who Mark’s replacement might be. Could Rashad Evans be pulled off his scheduled fight against Thiago Silva to rematch Ortiz, who he drew with in 2007? Will Ortiz get a gatekeeper-type like Keith Jardine? A fellow veteran like the returning Lil’ Nog? Or will the UFC just go with the obvious cash cow?

(Calm down, Shane. It was a hypothetical question. I’m not saying you are a character from "Sex and the City." I’m just asking, if you were one, which one do you think you’d be? And don’t say Carrie. Everybody says Carrie.)

Thanks to the thus far undefeated University of Montana football team (go Griz), Shane Carwin was honor-bound to answer our questions and yours in an email exchange this week.  “The Engineer” may be a no-nonsense sort of guy once he steps in the Octagon, but fortunately for us he has a sense of humor about himself outside of it.  With his UFC heavyweight title fight against Brock Lesnar at UFC 106 drawing closer, we asked Carwin about everything from his reaction to Lesnar’s pre-fight trash talk to whether he can reliably use a normal-sized cell phone with his giant hands.  In the end, we felt that we came away with a greater understanding of this man of few words.

CP: What’s your reaction to hearing Brock Lesnar criticize your past opponents and your Division II wrestling title?  Do you think that there’s a significant difference in the quality of competition you two have faced in your respective careers?

SC: Brock seems to think selling or hyping a fight means disparaging one another’s opponents.  I think anyone who is fighting deserves the respect of other fighters, especially a champion.  I do not think Brock respects MMA or MMA fans.

As far as my collegiate accomplishments compared to his, saying D1 is better than D II in wrestling is a ridiculous comment.  There are plenty of elite wrestlers that did not even compete in college.  The fact is Title 9 and many other factors (like lack of fans) keep wrestling on life support and being a great wrestler does not guarantee you a scholarship.

I hope Brock knows Dana did not send me a script to go by.  I am coming for that belt.

(Maybe Lesnar should not have eaten those brownies that Eddie Bravo gave him before coming to this event.)

The heavyweight title fight between Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin at UFC 106 is a little less than two months away now, and we all know what that means: it’s time for Lesnar to rev up his dismissive trash-talk machine, which is what he affectionately calls his brain.  Talking to the Las Vegas Sun, Lesnar advanced the theory that since the only high-profile fighter Carwin has beaten was Gabriel Gonzaga, he’s really only 1-0 in his MMA career, I mean if you think about it, so there’s really nothing to worry about against him.  Then, as if that weren’t dickish enough, he went and said this about old Hulk Hands:

“He’s a tough guy and a wrestler. But he’s a Division II national champion — enough said.”

Well, looks like Lesnar just exposed himself as a Division-ist.  Look, he’s not saying those Division II champs are all bad.  Some of his best friends are Division II wrestlers.  He’s just saying that there are certain things they don’t get to do, like be the UFC heavyweight champ or ride in the front of the bus.