(Video courtesy of YouTube/wallenrichard)

Tatame is reporting that Jon Jones was not the UFC’s first choice as Mauricio "Shogun" Rua’s replacement opponent for UFC 128. According to the UFC light heavyweight champion, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson was offered the title shot in place Rashad Evans, who injured his knee training last week in Albuquerque, but the A-Team star declined the fight for undisclosed reasons.

“The UFC had another opponent in mind, but it didn’t work out. For some reason [Qinton Jackson] didn’t accept the title shot," Shogun explained. “I’ll have to change my training because [Jon Jones] is a lot different than Rashad. He’s much taller, which will present a great challenge. He’s been surprising everybody in the UFC — defeating everybody with ease, and it’ll be a tough fight for me."

"Smell it!"

Maybe Rampage is still waking up in cold sweats from the recurring nightmare of getting his head soccer-kicked into the fifth row by Shogun.

("I just want y’all to know that this shit is not awkward whatsoever.")

Rashad Evans‘s unexpected knee injury may be a career-altering nightmare scenario, but the former light-heavyweight champion is doing his best to put on a brave public face. After the bad news was dropped at UFC 126, Sugar posted the following on RashadEvans.tv:

"Hey my ppl! Last night most of u heard the news. If not here is the latest. I have 2 pull out of my Shogun fight because of injury. I severely sprained my MCL in practice. While in practice I got blindsided by another group of partners right into the side of my knee like football lineman style.. Since I’m hurt my teammate young phenom Bones Jones is gonna step in 4 me! I’m gonna recover & then see what happens next 4 me! Thank all u 4 the encouragement! I love my supports & my haters! Go get that belt brudda Jones!"

("Herb, thank God it’s you. I had the worst dream." PicProps: MMA Crazed)

Brendan Schaub is scared, you guys. Not just a little nervous, but borderline terrified. He’s afraid of what Mirko CroCop might do to him during their upcoming fight at UFC 128. He’s afraid of losing – this fight, the money, the momentum in the heavyweight division – and he’s afraid of what people will say about him if he does lose. The last thing Schaub wants is to have to spend another three months moping around the house like he did after getting KTFOed by Roy Nelson at the “TUF 10” finale. He doesn’t want to have to listen to the haters say “I told you so,” and he damn sure doesn’t want to face his teammates at Grudge Training Center on the heels of another defeat. That’s why Schaub tells MMA Fighting.com on Wednesday that he makes a point of scaring the bejesus out of himself before every fight.

"Every guy I fight, I create just this monster out of him,” Schaub says. “It doesn’t matter who it is – (Chris) Tuchscherer, Chase Gormley – I just make them into these nightmares. It makes me train harder and makes me so much sharper in the cage. It gets me focused."

(Not pictured: Stefan Struve’s cover for ‘Tall-Ass Honkey Weekly’.)

No, Yoshhiro Akiyama will not be taking on a convicted white-collar criminal in his next appearance. ESPN reports that Akiyama will instead face off against Nate Marquardt at UFC 128: Shogun vs. Evans, March 19th in Newark. The Japanese middleweight star is coming off two consecutive losses against Chris Leben (humiliating!) and Michael Bisping (slightly less humiliating, but still!), and likely needs a victory to keep his contract. Marquardt is coming off his own underwhelming loss against Yushin Okami at UFC 122, but will certainly be the favorite in this matchup.

Speaking of notable bookings, heavyweight contender Stefan Struve — who has slugged his way to back-to-back wins over Christian Morecraft and Sean McCorkle — has drawn another rising prospect for his next outing. According to MMAJunkie, Struve will return at UFC 130 (May 28th, Las Vegas) against undefeated Travis Browne, who just suffered through a foul-filled draw against Cheick Kongo at UFC 120. The only other match reported for UFC 130 at this point is Thiago Alves vs. Rick Story.

(A year is a long time to wait to get beaten up.)

The UFC announced that the long-rumored light heavyweight title bout between champ Mauricio "Shogun" Rua and former champ Rashad Evans as well as a bantamweight contender bout between former WEC featherweight champion Urijah Faber and former bantamweight champion Eddie Wineland will act as co-main events for UFC 128 Saturday March 19 in Newark, New Jersey.

According to the UFC.com, the event, which will take place at the Prudential Center, will also feature a featherwight match-up between Joseph Benevidez and Ian Loveland as well as a pair of lightweight showdowns pitting Kurt Pellegrino against Gleison Tibau and Edson Barbosa against Anthony Njokuani.

Although they have yet to be officially announced, the event, which was originally being planned for Abu Dhabi, will purportedly also include a welterweight scrap between Mike Pyle and Ricardo Almeida as well as a heavyweight tilt between Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovi?  and Brendan Schaub.

("This big horsemeat-eating motherf*cker is next.")

There’s been a veritable orgy of UFC fight-bookings happening over the last couple days, and we might as well throw them all at you in one lump sum. We’ll start with one that might not be the biggest of the bunch, but definitely struck us as the strangest…

Jim Miller vs. Kamal Shalorus - UFC 128:
When Dana White proclaimed that Miller’s impressive kneebar submission win over Charles Oliveira at UFC 124 put him in the mix of  lightweight contenders, nobody figured that would mean that he’d be paired with an Octagon newcomer in his next bout. But this is the UFC, and sometimes the organization’s MMA math just doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense. The Sparta, New Jersey native will attempt to increase his winning streak to seven when he takes on  (7-0-2) WEC veteran Shalorus at UFC 128 in his backyard in New Jersey.

Dan Miller vs. David Branch - UFC 128:
Considering that his brother is on the card and they can save on cornermen hotel rooms and plane tickets, it’s a no-brainer that the UFC would have another local fighter like Miller on the card for UFC 128. The fact that they now have to pay Chuck Liddell’s seven-figure salary,  bar and strip club tabs has not been lost on the accounting department who have undoubtedly suggested some cost cutting measures that will be implemented in 2011. Wait until you see the beat-up budget ex-strippers they bring in to replace Arianny and Chandella.

Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic vs. Brendan Schaub – UFC 128:
It turned out that reports earlier this week that a rumored bout between Schaub and Stephan Struve had been verbally agreed to by both fighters were incorrect. Instead, Schaub will look to climb over former PRIDE wrecking machine, Cro Cop on his way to a top five opponent in 2011.

Filipovic will attempt to prolong his rapidly shortening career by defeating the up-and-coming fighter who is riding a three-fight winning streak which includes a "W" over Gabriel Gonzaga — the last man to put Cro Cop to sleep prior to Frank Mir turning his lights out in his last outing at UFC 119.

Antonio Rogerio Nogueira interview – Watch more Funny Videos

If the recent reports are accurate, Antonio Rogerio Nogueira will take on Tito Ortiz in a light-heavyweight feature at UFC 128 (March 19th, Newark). Lil’ Nog will be looking to bounce back after Ryan Bader handed him his first loss in three-and-a-half years at UFC 119. Meanwhile, Ortiz hasn’t tasted victory in over four years. (Seriously. We can’t believe he’s still around either.) Despite the career tailspin of the HBBB, Nogueira isn’t taking him lightly. As he tells our Brazilian correspondent Brian D’Souza:

"I think he’s a very tough guy. He’s an ex-champion, he [was] undefeated for many years. I think he’s a very good wrestler…he has very good Muay Thai. I think he’s dangerous, but I’m gonna do my best for sure. I want to make a better fight from last time. I’ve had two or three fights with wrestling guys, I think I’ve proven my wrestling…I want to do a very good fight with Tito. I can do better."

Nogueira also discusses his new gym in San Diego, and his training partner Anderson Silva’s upcoming bout with Vitor Belfort. It will not surprise you to discover that Lil’ Nog has his money on the Spider.

Related: Win or lose, Tito Ortiz vows that the Nogueira fight won’t be his last.

(Brazilian Vinny, Mauricio Rua, and Brazilian Steve-O celebrate their big moment. Photo courtesy of the Las Vegas Sun)

According to a new report from Sportsnet, the UFC light-heavyweight title fight between Mauricio "Shogun" Rua and Rashad Evans is expected to headline a March 19th event at the Prudential Centre in Newark, New Jersey. Tito Ortiz’s last-last chance against Antonio Rogerio Nogueira is also slated for the show. Both fights had been previously tied to a March return to Abu Dhabi, leading to speculation that the event might not happen at all. As UFC U.K. president Marshall Zelaznik said back in November:

"I know there’s been talk of March 19 potentially happening. While we’re looking at delivering a pay-per-view (event) around that time, nothing’s been defined in terms of whether Abu Dhabi gets it or someone else."

March 2011 is already a busy month for the UFC, with UFC on Versus 3 slated to take place on 3/3 and a possible UFC Fight Night event on 3/26. In March 2010, Newark hosted UFC 111: St. Pierre vs. Hardy, which drew a passionate East Coast fan contingent. Until New York gets its head out of its ass, this might be the closest thing to an annual NYC event that we’ll get.

(Because “Dana is the Architect of my Untimely Demise” wouldn’t really fit on the shirt. PicProps: Combat Lifestyle)

Maybe the UFC thought firing Tito Ortiz would have just been too easy. Or maybe it wants to be extra, extra sure that when THBBB finally does leave the organization, he’ll do so without a scrap of personal dignity or promotional capital left. Whatever the reason – and really, who knows what’s going on in Dana White’s head from moment to moment – the loveable/erratic UFC president confirmed on Friday that the recent rumors of Ortiz’s dismissal were greatly exaggerated. Instead, he’ll fight Antonio Rogerio Nogueira next March, possibly at UFC 128 in the Middle East where my reactionary conservative friends assure me they love a good public execution.

Remember when we said after UFC 121 that the Tito Ortiz show was about to get really sad? Yeah, this seems about right. Anyway, we now have conclusive proof that White will only force you into retirement if he likes you. If he thinks you’re kind of an a-hole, he has no problem putting you on the fast track to early onset Alzheimer’s.