(I have come for your women.) 

As promised, Yoshiro Akiyama has already completed his transformation to 170 pounds, and besides looking a little gaunt in the face, it’s safe to say that he has taken this “Sexyama” thing to a whole ‘notha level. I mean, first the music video and now this? You are making it increasingly difficult for the rest of the male population to get laid, Mr. Akiyama.

Below, we have Akiyama’s weigh in photo leading into his UFC debut match against Alan Belcher as a basis for comparison, courtesy of mmajunkie.com.

File this one under “least surprising info of the day.” Following back-to-back losses to Brian Stann and Demian Maia at UFC 130 and 136, repectively, word has it that Jorge Santiago has been released by the UFC for the second time. The American Top Team standout’s original run took place back in 2006, where he scored a quick knockout over the now deceased Justin Levens before ending up on the highlight reels of Chris Leben and Alan Belcher for all eternity.

Just think of the captions that a lesser journalist would come up with. Seriously, just think it this time.

You had to see this one coming. Three weeks out from his unanimous decision defeat to Tim Boetsch at UFC 130, the UFC has decided to part ways with TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove. After defeating Ed Herman to win The Ultimate Fighter 3 back in 2006, Grove has gone 6-6 in the UFC, including losses to Patrick Cote, Mark Munoz and Demian Maia. Aside from Ed Herman, the only fighter that Kendall Grove holds a win over who is still fighting in the UFC is Alan Belcher, who he defeated by D’Arce choke back at UFC 69 in April of 2007.

(Clay Guida’s party-animal status: Unchanged. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

Now that we’re halfway through a six-week stretch featuring a UFC or Strikeforce event every weekend, it might be time to take a deep breath, drag out a semi-retired recurring feature, and assign some totally meaningless scores to some of the notable trends and fighters we’ve seen lately. Who’s up, who’s down, and by how much? Well…

The UFC heavyweight division +113
Some have already labeled Shane Carwin’s loss at UFC 131 the “end of an era” for gargantuan heavyweights. (Didn’t last long, did it?) At the top of the division, we’re left with two guys who are smaller, faster, and better-conditioned than their predecessors; Velasquez vs. Dos Santos could be an all-time classic. Meanwhile, prospects like Travis Browne and Dave Herman continue to add depth at 265.

Cageside monitors -98
Nope, the judging in this sport still sucks, and the problem doesn’t appear to be technological. When you have shit for brains, every angle is a bad angle.

(We would have also accepted ‘extreme-constipation’. Photo courtesy of HeavyMMA.)

Breaking away from his usual “fat guy who can throw down” persona, Roy Nelson just looked like your garden-variety fat guy last weekend at UFC 130, wheezing through three rounds, too exhausted to do anything besides absorb blows from Frank Mir. Was it a sign that Roy should finally hook up with a nutritionist and get his BMI in order?

The obvious answer is yes, definitely. Just because you can drag around a barrel of adipose tissue around your midsection and still compete at the highest levels of MMA doesn’t make it a good idea. Nelson is literally weighing himself down in the Octagon, and putting himself at a profound competitive disadvantage; even most 205-pounders in the UFC outsize Nelson at this point. But according to a new report, there was another factor in play on Saturday that made a victory for Big Country even less likely:

(“Camp Carwin” Episode 4: In which Shane shows off the new diet that has dropped him from 285 lbs. to 255 lbs. Props: officialbudlight)

- Karyn Bryant: It Takes Much More Than That to Horrify Me [Exclusive Interview] (LowKick)

- Inside MMA: Tito Ortiz Addresses Altercation With Matt Mitrione, Hendo Talks Fedor (MMA Convert)

- Five Lessons: UFC 130 (NBC Sports MMA)

- Check Out This 10-Second Faceplant KO From Cage Warriors 42 This Past Weekend (MiddleEasy)

- UFC 130 Medical Suspensions and Injuries for ‘Rampage vs Hamill’ (MMA Mania)

- Chael Sonnen Responds to Jason Miller and Michael Bisping as “TUF 14? Coaches (5thRound)

- Clay Guida: Anthony Pettis Bout Will Be a Fight of the Year Candidate (MMA Fighting)

- UFC Allows Kevin James to Use Their Brand in MMA Comedy Film (TheFightNerd)

- UFC 131 Conference Call Highlights (Five Ounces of Pain)

- The 20 Greatest UFC Fighters of the Pre Zuffa Era (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

(Rear-naked chokes exist in a surplus in some markets, causing their value to be diluted, but their rarity at UFC 130 inflated their value to $70,000 apiece. See, I told you economics could be fun! Photo courtesy of Heavy.com.)

The UFC paid out $1,211,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses to the fighters at UFC 130, according to new figures released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission. The highest paid fighters were headliner Quinton Jackson — whose salary was a flat $250,000 — and Frank Mir, who doubled his $125,000 to-show pay by defeating Roy Nelson. Three other fighters were able to crack the six-figure mark thanks to their $70,000 performance bonuses. The full UFC 130 payout list is below; keep in mind that the figures don’t include deductions for taxes, insurance, and license fees, or additional revenue from sponsorships and undisclosed discretionary bonuses.

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: $250,000 (no win bonus)
def. Matt Hamill: $32,000

Frank Mir: $250,000 (includes $125,000 win bonus)
def. Roy Nelson: $15,000

Travis Browne: $86,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus, $70,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
def. Stefan Struve: $21,000

(Meanwhile in Roy’s stomach, a dozen undigested cheeseburgers cried for mercy. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

Look, I was all for sweeping UFC 130 under the rug and never mentioning it again, but since ReX has shamed me into doing this, it’s time to look back at Saturday’s big winners (and big, big losers) and see if we can devise some future matchups for these guys that will actually produce interesting fights. Make it happen, tiny atheist.

Quinton Jackson: Dana White seems dead-set on giving Rampage a title shot if his hand is healthy enough to accept it. Ugh, terrible. Why the UFC isn’t interested in promoting the hottest rivalry in the sport is anybody’s guess. (And don’t give me that bullshit about “timing”; it’s more likely related to White’s personal feelings about Rashad Evans.) In a perfect world, Rampage sits out for a few months and faces the winner of Shogun vs. Forrest at UFC 134 in Rio. With losses to both on his record, I don’t think motivation would be an issue.

Matt Hamill: Sure, on paper Hamill was coming into the fight against Rampage with a five-fight win streak — but considering that the most impressive victory in that streak (by far!) was his knockout of Mark Munoz, you have to wonder where the Hammer really sits in the light-heavyweight pecking order. My first thought was that Hamill should face the resurgent Vladimir Matyushenko next — but Vlad already has a date in August. So give him the winner of Kyle Kingsbury vs. Fabio Maldonado at this Saturday’s TUF 13 Finale. Either Hamill rebounds, or a rising prospect gets a big-name notch on their belt. Seems win-win to me.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/MMAHeat)

I’ve worked for several major corporations who mandated that their employees sit through mind-numbing lectures and videos detailing what comments and suggestive behavior constitute sexual harassment. There’s a thin line between what are regarded as harmless remarks like, “I like your dress,” or, “Nice haircut,” and what’s considered lewd.

I remember one video in particular that stands out. According to the, “sexual harassment expert” in the film, sexually suggestive comments and innuendos don’t become harassment until a set boundary between the two parties has been crossed. For example, when a woman tells a man that she doesn’t appreciate him making remarks about how her jeans fit or what he’d like to do to her, it becomes harassment when he makes them again.

If you look back at Quinton Jackson’s history of dry-humping and sniffing the behinds of female reporters, it’s not surprising that he told MMA Heat’s Karyn Bryant following his UFC 130 win over Matt Hamill Saturday night that he wanted to “motorboat” her and that she better get away from him before he “humps” her like he has other women interviewers like our own Heather Nichols.

(Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com. “Roy Nelson is exhausted” gif placed after the jump by popular demand. But if you move your head from side to side while looking at this picture, it’s basically the same thing.)

Yeah, we know what we said we said about last night’s show, but despite the underwhelming co-main events there was a fair amount of action on the card (yes, even from those two fights). Join us after the jump then get something to eat while the page loads.

(All props go to the legendary Zombie Prophet)

(Photo courtesy of UFC.com. Rampage’s victory reaction gif is now after the jump.)

When the anticipated rematch between Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard was scrapped from this card, we were left with a few big names and a lot of hope. Despite a few stellar knockouts earlier in the evening, UFC 130 ended much like my date to see “No Strings Attached”: a lot of booing, a disappointing 15 minute fight, and I was out $50.

Every UFC card has to be about something, and with no gold up for grabs the storyline for this event became Quinton Jackson’s climb back up to the top of the Light Heavyweight division. Dana White declared and Rogan and Goldberg echoed that an impressive, entertaining victory over Matt Hamill would land Rampage a title fight with champ Jon Jones. Rampage secured the win, but his shot at the belt is still up in the air.

(Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com. Gif is now after the jump.)

Already a fixture on the UFC highlight reels of Junior Dos Santos and Roy Nelson, Stefan Struve became the victim of another first-round knockout tonight at UFC 130, succumbing to what might be the most devastating superman punch ever thrown inside of an eight-sided cage. The victorious Travis Browne increased his MMA record to 11-0-1, and was awarded UFC 130′s Knockout of the Night bonus for his efforts, picking up an additional $70,000.

UFC 130′s other performance bonuses went to Brian Stann and Jorge Santiago (Fight of the Night) for their two-round bang-up that kicked off the pay-per-view broadcast, and Gleison Tibau (Submission of the Night) for his rear-naked choke of Rafaello Oliveira during the prelims; it was the only fight on the card that ended via submission.

(Man, Edith LaBelle has really let herself go.)

After sorting out some technical difficulties with my satellite company, I am set up to get this b*tch blogged for y’all.

Let’s get to it.

Spoilers are after the jump. You’ve been warned, yo.

(Come back at 7:00 and see what these two guy look like in their underwear.)

Just a friendly reminder that we will be streaming the UFC 130 weigh-ins live here at 7:00 pm ET.

Will Roy Nelson have a six-pack or a keg?

Will Thiago Alves make weight thanks again to Mike Dolce?

Will Frank Mir come out wearing Whopper boxers?

These pressing questions and more will be answered after the jump.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/UFC)

In this episode of his UFC 130 vlog, Dana  spends some time with his son, attends the UFC Fighter Summit and gears up for this weekend’s event.

If you don’t have time to watch it or your boss is a tight ass who banned YouTube in your workplace, the key points in a nutshell are after the jump.

(Video courtesy of VideoObb/IronForgesIron)

If you missed the Countdown to UFC 130 show this week, not to worry, we have you covered. During the show both Matt Hammil and Quinton Jackson’s camps give some interesting insight into their fighter’s respective opponents and we learn a bit more about some of the lesser-known fighters on the card like Rick Story and Jorge Santiago.

By Jason Moles

Last night Spike aired a thirty-minute ‘In the Moment’ mini-documentary on Quinton “Rampage” Jackson‘s training camp leading up to his UFC 130 main event tilt against Matt “The Hammer” Hamill this Saturday.  While some of you may have watched it because you watch everything Zuffa puts on TV, others may have been more intrigued by the NBA finals or American Idol (you know who you are). So in case you missed it and want to know what Mr. T has been up to the past few weeks, follow us after the jump.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/UFC)

Dana White’s fight week video blogs are back for UFC 130 this weekend, but the most interesting part of this edition is something that happened at UFC 129 last month in Toronto.

At around the 1:00 mark, White has a brief interaction in the locker room with Strikeforce welterweight champ Nick Diaz and to say it was awkward would be a major understatement. Dana tries to make smalltalk with Nick and it seems like he’s trying to talk to a child.

(“Okay everybody, act like your medical benefits were just revoked.”)

Just a friendly reminder that we will be streaming the UFC 130 press conference from Las Vegas today starting at 4:00 m ET.

Will Rampage tell Hammill he has a soft head? Will Hammil try to get Rampage to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Will Nelson bring Mir a Whopper? Will Mir rub Nelson’t belly for good luck?

These questions and more will be answered after the jump.

Horse Takes MMA Kick To The Nuts – Watch more Funny Videos
(Testicle-torture fetishist Nasty the Horse has a painful — or totally satisfying? — encounter with Fabricio Werdum.)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- ‘Rampage’ Jackson’s Toughest Role? Convincing Us He Still Wants to Fight (MMA Fighting)

- Five Fights You Shouldn’t Miss at UFC 130 (LowKick)

- MTV Is Planning a New MMA Reality Show in the Vein of a ‘Redneck Jersey Shore’ (MiddleEasy)

- Eddie Wineland vs. Joseph Benavidez Booked for ‘UFC Live 5′ in August (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Antonio McKee Thinks He May Have Been Cut by UFC Because He ‘Rubbed Joe Silva the Wrong Way’ (MMA Mania)

- UFC 129 ‘St. Pierre vs. Shields’ Did Really Big Business (MMA Convert)

- Zoila & Jorge Gurgel talk MMA & Marriage (TheFightNerd)

- ‘Strikeforce Challengers’ Headed to Las Vegas (NBC Sports MMA)

- Video: Shane Carwin Releases “Here We Go: Camp Carwin” Episode 1 (5thRound)

- The Top 5 MMA Fighters Not Currently Fighting Under the ZUFFA Banner (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

111111111 00_00_07-00_09_50_1 by Zuffaforce

Quinton Jackson made another appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson last night and after watching the episode, it’s clear why “Rampage” gets more invites to appear on late night talk shows than pretty much any other fighter: he’s actually entertaining.

Sure, Chuck Liddell’s guest spot on Good Morning Texas a few years back had its moments and watching Kirstie Alley imagining Jon Jones as a pork chop during The Tonight Show a few months back was funny, if not somewhat cringeworthy, but Jackson always seems to bring his ‘A’ game when the cameras are rolling.

(Props: UFC)

After the jump: Quinton Jackson gets his swim on and explains his dual personalities, while Matt Hamill vows to fight smart and earn that Top 5 status.

(So much is on the line here. Pride. A win bonus. Mostly just those two things.)

In less than two weeks, the UFC will return from its spring hibernation to present UFC 130 in Las Vegas, featuring a makeshift main event that not even the fighters themselves are that psyched about. But hey, fighting is fighting. Let’s all stay positive and consult the cold, hard data to predict how the light-heavyweight bang-up between Quinton Jackson and Matt Hamill will play out. If you see things differently, let us know in the comments section…

SIZE
Jackson: 6’1″, 73-inch reach
Hamill: 6’1″, 76-inch reach
Advantage: Hamill

RESULT OF LAST FIGHT
Jackson: Split-decision over Lyoto Machida at UFC 123
Hamill: Unanimous decision over Tito Ortiz at UFC 121
Advantage: Jackson

MOST DEVASTATING KNOCKOUT
Jackson: His slam KO of Ricardo Arona at PRIDE Critical Countdown 2004
Hamill: His head-kick KO of Mark Munoz at UFC 96
Advantage: Jackson

MOST UNDESERVED VICTORY
Jackson: His split-decision win over Murilo “Ninja” Rua at PRIDE 29
Hamill: His DQ victory over Jon Jones at the TUF 10 finale
Advantage: Even

(You’re joking, right?He used a fake penis for his urine test? Doesn’t that make him gay?)

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson was on MMAFighting’s The MMA Hour yesterday and he expressed his distaste with being paired up with a replacement Matt Hamill at UFC 130 when  his original opponent Thiago Silva was forced off the card after being suspended for falsifying a urine test to hide steroid use.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/UFC)

Rampage proves in this edition of “Rampage Diaries” that being a fighter isn’t all work and no play. As long as you aren’t on the receiving end of a slap from him or riding shotgun while he’s hopped up on energy drinks, he seems like he’s be a fun dude to hang out with if you can get past the constant “stank breff” jokes.

(Frankie was willing to fight injured — that is until he heard about his new insurance plan)

UFC lightweight champ Frankie Edgar spoke with Mike Straka from UFC.com today and expounded on the injury that forced him to pull out of his upcoming UFC 130 rubber match with Gray Maynard. According to the Toms River, New Jersey native, reports that he suffered a rib injury in training were erroneous.

“All of the reports are talking about my ribs, it’s actually my back. My back’s been bothering me for quite some time. A few weeks ago I had to take a week off so that my back could calm down and I was trying to fight through it,” Edgar explains. “I got through it and it kept blowing out on me here and there but then I ended up blowing out a rib last week. My rib kept popping in and out and then last week my back went out on me really bad, so I went to see a doctor and he said I’ve got bulging discs and now I’m going to go see a specialist to see what he can do about it.”

UFC.com has confirmed that UFC lightweight champion Frankie Edgar and #1 contender Gray Maynard have both suffered injuries in their training camps, and will not be able to face each other in their scheduled main event trilogy fight at UFC 130 (May 28th, Las Vegas). According to MMAFighting’s sources, Edgar picked up two broken ribs, while Maynard suffered a knee injury — especially unfortunate, considering that the UFC is planning to cover these sorts of injuries starting next month.

Quinton Jackson vs. Matt Hamill is now officially the main event of UFC 130. (Yeah, we know.) UPDATE: Edgar and Maynard will likely be out for 6-8 weeks, and could be re-booked for August or September. But check this out: According to Heavy.com, Edgar pulled out first, and Maynard was going to remain on the card against another top lightweight who he doesn’t seem to have a very high opinion of…

And if neither pulled out? My God what a beautiful baby!

The fight cards for UFC 130 and UFC on Versus 4 are undergoing some minor renovations. It was announced yesterday that both Matt Riddle and Cody McKenzie have sustained injuries forcing them from their respective bouts.

(Video courtesy of SPIKETV)

Here’s an interesting preview for UFC 130 where Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard give two decidedly different perspectives of how their UFC 125 split draw went down.

The rubber match is set for May 28 and it’s going to be a doozy.

(Props: UFC)

The UFC’s next big event goes down May 28th at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, featuring the third meeting between champion Frankie Edgar and arch-rival Gray Maynard, as well as Quinton “Rampage” Jackson vs. Matt Hamill and Frank Mir vs. Roy Nelson. The UFC 130 lineup also includes Miguel Torres, Thiago Alves, Stefan Struve, and the return of Jorge Santiago. Start getting psyched now, because there ain’t a hell of a lot going on until then…