(John Einemo, the only man to ever truly smell what The Rock was cookin’.)

Norwegian news site VG.no is reporting that former UFC heavyweight John Olav Einemo has decided to call it a career after being cut from the promotion following his loss to Mike Russow at UFC on Fox 2.

Although Einemo told reporters that the UFC had left the proverbial door open for his return if he was able to put a couple wins together in smaller promotions, Einemo felt that the time he had to spend away from his family during the training process was simply too much to handle. Apparently his wife and kids didn’t drive him crazy. For those of you who are suddenly overwhelmed with panic as to when you’ll see J.O.E again, fret not, for he plans to help build upon Norway’s ever-growing MMA scene as a coach somewhere down the line.

Nevermind, this is likely the last we’ll see of Einemo before the trolls get him.

(Shane may have had heart, balls, guts, and a chin, but they were no match for Junior’s elite-level anatomical-metaphor defense.)

We’re almost a week removed from the magnificent beatdown that Junior dos Santos laid on Shane Carwin, and it’s probably safe to assume that all of the post-fight articles have been written about the main event at UFC 131. Well, all but one.

This article is not specifically about UFC 131 or Shane Carwin — it’s about a certain phrase that has been tied to Carwin’s performance following his three-round beating, and that phrase is “He showed a lot of heart.”

Do a Google search on MMA “showed heart” and look at the names associated with the term: Shane Carwin, Paul Daley, Roy Nelson, and Andrei Arlovski, just to name a few. Any fighter that stood in there and took a beating, yup, he “showed a lot of heart.”

It’s time to retire that phrase, and here’s why…

(In this photo alone, there are at least 25 crimes taking place…most of them involve God-awful $45 t-shirts and shirtless grown men holding signs or covered in body paint.)

Remember when Vancouver City Council demanded that the UFC shell out the cash to pay for additional policemen and the big news was that the promotion had told them to get bent?

Well, it turns out the money would have been a big waste.

The city’s police service are reporting that there were no major incidents reported following Saturday night’s event.

“They didn’t report in any incidents of note,” Jana McGuinness, a Vancouver Police Department media relations officer told The Vancouver Courier Tuesday. “There was good dialogue with the police and the community since last year and their concerns were brought forward and we responded with increased patrols.”

According to one Vancouver man, however, who took it upon himself to personally sniff out any wrongdoing by UFC fans, there actually was some depravity and defilement that took place after the fights.

(You know, there probably is a dude out there whose ‘ultimate fantasy’ involves Arianny Celeste and a few thousand limes, and when he sees this video he’s going to absolutely lose his shit. Props: officialbudlight)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Alistair Overeem and Fabricio Werdum Head to Head: Who Will Win This Saturday? (LowKick)

- TUF 12 Winner Jonathan Brookins Returns to Featherweight This September Against Eric Koch (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Shane Carwin: “I Can’t Recall Much of the Fight” (5thRound)

- What’s Next for UFC 131′s Winners? (NBC Sports MMA)

- UFC May Enlist Retired NBA Superstar Shaquille O’Neal as Ambassador (MMA Fighting)

- Brendan Schaub: ‘A Win Over Nogueira Puts Me Right In The Number One Contender’s Spot’ (MMA Convert)

- Shane Del Rosario Discusses His Injury, Recovery, and the ‘Supremacy MMA’ Video Game (TheFightNerd)

- Is the Lightweight Division Really the Toughest in MMA? (MMA Mania)

- The 25 Greatest “Changing of the Guard” Fights in MMA History (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Jorge Masvidal Talks to Us About Streetfighting, Machetes and Making KJ Noons Shoot on Him (MiddleEasy)

(Clay Guida’s party-animal status: Unchanged. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

Now that we’re halfway through a six-week stretch featuring a UFC or Strikeforce event every weekend, it might be time to take a deep breath, drag out a semi-retired recurring feature, and assign some totally meaningless scores to some of the notable trends and fighters we’ve seen lately. Who’s up, who’s down, and by how much? Well…

The UFC heavyweight division +113
Some have already labeled Shane Carwin’s loss at UFC 131 the “end of an era” for gargantuan heavyweights. (Didn’t last long, did it?) At the top of the division, we’re left with two guys who are smaller, faster, and better-conditioned than their predecessors; Velasquez vs. Dos Santos could be an all-time classic. Meanwhile, prospects like Travis Browne and Dave Herman continue to add depth at 265.

Cageside monitors -98
Nope, the judging in this sport still sucks, and the problem doesn’t appear to be technological. When you have shit for brains, every angle is a bad angle.

Okay, we made that last part up, but doesn’t it seem kind of odd that someone randomly picked all of the winners in a 12-fight parlay from a card that was steeped in controversial judges’ scoring?

We don’t even get half of our picks right, and we’re paid to analyze the sport and its fighters.

According to a story from MMAFighting.com an unnamed individual won $51,547 from a $200 bet placed through Bodog.eu.

“Hitting parlays in MMA happens often but to hit every fight right on a 12-fight card in one night is unheard of, especially that the parlay included a mix of favorites and a few medium underdogs, including two controversial decisions that went in the bettor’s favor.” Bodog Sports Book Director Richard Gardner told MMAFighting.

Unheard of unless you’re a judge who has the power to do what it takes to ensure the losers are winners and the winners are losers. We’re just spitballing here, but maybe a crooked official utilized the newly approved video monitors to pipe in other footage from a previous fight for the judges to score. Who are we kidding? They probably just sucked at judging like 3/4 of the posters on Sherdog.

(Video courtesy of Videobb/fightvideomma)

If you listened to The Bum Rush Radio Show this week (and we’re pretty sure at least some of you did, right mom?) you would know our collective feelings on the inevitability that Kenny Florian would be handed another undeserved title shot if he beat Diego Nunes at UFC 131. Well, according to UFC president Dana White, KenFlo “pretty much” has dibs on Jose Aldo when the champ returns from nursing a nagging shoulder injury.

When asked at the post-UFC 131 press conference if Florian’s win earned him a shot at Aldo, White answered succinctly, “More than likely. How’s that for confirmation?” before adding “I’ve got a lot of respect for him. He deserves a shot at the title. No doubt about it.”

(Did we say “safer than boxing”? We meant “usually safer than knife-fighting.” Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly)

Congrats to CagePotato commenter “PELF” for making the most accurate prediction in last week’s fight-picking contest. His predictions were:

- Junior Dos Santos def. Shane Carwin via unanimous decision (29-28 x 2, 30-27 – one score correct)
- Kenny Florian def. Diego Nunes via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3 – one score correct)

Just one other commenter (“Fedor Penn”) predicted unanimous decisions for both Dos Santos and Florian, and the margin of victory couldn’t have been closer; PELF’s inspired decision to toss in a 30-27 for JDS clinched the win. So, PELF, if you’re reading this, send your name and address to contest@cagepotato.com and we’ll hook you up with a $50 credit to MMAOutlet.com. Everybody else, come back on Thursday for a chance to win something totally different in a Strikeforce: Overeem vs. Werdum pick-off…

If you’ve ever wondered how Cage Potato sneaks into UFC events, let’s just say it involves matching black baseball hats. Props: MMAConnected.com

Look, I get it. Vancouver fans are extremely excited about their Canucks winning 1-0 at home on Friday, putting the team one win away from taking the Stanley Cup. I’m more than willing to forgive those in attendance for being less than excited about UFC 131, an MMA event absent of title fights, or even some fellow Canadians on the main card. I’ll forgive the chants of “Go Canucks Go” and “We Want The Cup” that broke out throughout the evening. I’ll even forgive them for being won over by Jon Olav Einemo’s Canucks flag. But not watching the fights you’re supposed to be judging? That’s unacceptable.

There were some downright awful decisions made by the judges last night, causing some to wonder if they even watched the fights. Fortunately for Junior Dos Santos, his beating of Shane Carwin was too lopsided to possibly mess up. No doubt, Dos Santos looked impressive against Shane Carwin. Not only did he survive some of Shane’s hardest punches, but he also displayed some improved wrestling. He even managed to make Carwin look gun-shy, which seemed unthinkable. There were numerous times throughout the fight where it seemed crazy that Junior Dos Santos was fighting the same guy that almost dethroned Brock Lesnar. Before we get too excited though, remember that Shane Carwin managed to survive all three rounds, despite being a late replacement coming off of surgery. Time will tell how Dos Santos holds up against Cain Valesquez.

“Hands of Stone”? Yup, that sounds about right. (Pic: UFC.com)

There is so much to love about the UFC’s Fight Night Bonuses. Often times one of these rewards can double, triple, or even quadruple a fighter’s take home pay for the evening. They also serve as bounties for action, encouraging the knockouts, submissions, and exciting fights that we all enjoy. But I love them best for another reason altogether. They give Dana White the opportunity to do what he does best: wield his godlike power with impunity. That sword has two edges of course, one of which has cut us frequently, but when dolling out these bonuses we get to see the best of Dana White. There’s Dana the Vindictive, who snubbed Mir’s poor performance against Cro Cop by denying the night’s only KO a bonus; Dana the Fight Fan, who loves action packed bouts so much that sometimes he can’t bring himself to award only one “Fight of the Night” bonus; and Dana the Merciful, who sets right the grave injustices cast down from the judges table. It was this last Dana who reared his head last night, giving an “unofficial” bonus to Michihiro Omigawa, who lost a unanimous decision to Darren Elkins in the prelims. White felt that Omigawa clearly deserved the victory and awarded him his win bonus for his performance. This fight, particularly one judge scoring it 30-27 for Elkins, is sure to add more fuel to the firestorm that is MMA judging. And now, on to the $70k bonuses…

At that exact moment, as he stepped on the scales, he was haunted by the thought that he’d left his oven on. And that was the beginning of the end for Shane Carwin. (Pic: UFC.com)

This card was dealt a serious blow when PPV kingpin Brock Lesnar dropped out due to his ongoing battle with diverticulitis, and the hits just kept coming. Despite the constant deck shuffling, Joe Silva’s cooked up a decent batch of chicken salad, setting up a headlining bout that in many ways is more compelling than the original and a few match-ups that pose some interesting questions. How will a Jenny Craig’d Carwin perform in his first fight back after undergoing surgery? Will Florian finally find a stable home at 145lbs? Can you even call it “ring rust” after a five year layoff?

A lot of tonight’s fights are tough to call, but we’ll call them just the same. If you tuned in to YouTube or Facebook for the pre-prelims, you were treated to copious amounts of leather (and some questionable judging). We’ll hold off on the results of those fights and the Spike undercard in case they make it to the PPV broadcast. As always, your witty and insightful comments are more than welcome. Your shitty ones, not so much.

Weigh-ins for UFC 131 are kicking off today at 5 p.m. ET / 2 p.m. PT, at the Jack Poole Plaza in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Check out streaming video of the festivities after the jump, courtesy of the UFC. We’ll plug in the weight totals below the video player after things wrap up. How emaciated will Kenny Florian be at 145? Will Shane Carwin have the same beastly intimidation factor now that he’s slimmed down below the 265-pound limit? What does Vagner Rocha look like, anyway? All will be revealed…

(I dare you to find me a better GIF than this one. Yeah, that’s what I thought.)

“I really believe zombies are a realistic possibility. Patient zero will start out of someone’s gym. A guy has their dog in the gym, the dog gets a staph infection, the dog gets bit with rabies, some type of cross breeding with the staph and rabies happens and then the dog bites the person because the dog goes crazy. The person goes to the hospital and this crazy strain of staph/rabies turns them into a zombie and it all started right there in somebody’s gym…

“You can’t armbar a zombie. You try to armbar a zombie and it will bite you on the leg. You can’t do jiu-jitsu with a zombie. Kickboxing might help a bit. At the same time, I’m a ‘germaphobe’. I’m afraid I’ll get scratched and infected. I could kick the zombie in the head and his head explodes and I’ll get zombie juice on me and I get infected because I have a scrape somewhere. It’s kind of scary.”

— Yves Edwards (40-16-1) explains to UFC.com why you should never bring your dog to the gym. The “Thugjitsu Master” is 2-0 in his latest UFC stint, most recently choking out Cody McKenzie at Fight for the Troops 2 in January. He’ll try to make it three in a row against Sam Stout tomorrow night on the Spike Prelims Live portion of UFC 131: Dos Santos vs. Carwin.

(K-Sos: A little somethin’ for the ladies. Photo courtesy of Sherdog)

Good news for you smug Facebook-resisters: UFC 131‘s first five preliminary matches will be broadcast on the “Live” section of UFC’s YouTube account, in addition to their usual stream on facebook.com/ufc. Kicking off the night’s action will be…

Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Mike Massenzio
Nick Ring vs. James Head
Dustin Poirier vs. Jason Young
Joey Beltran vs. Aaron Rosa
Michihiro Omigawa vs. Darren Elkins

You can watch the YouTube prelims right here tomorrow starting at 2:50 p.m. PT / 5:50 p.m. ET. The live stream will lead into Spike TV’s UFC 131 Prelims Live broadcast at 5 p.m. PT / 8 p.m ET, featuring Jesse Bongfeldt vs. Chris Weidman and Sam Stout vs. Yves Edwards.

Semi-related: If you’re not already a fan of CagePotato on Facebook, please stop being such a dick. And come back tomorrow night for our liveblog of “Dos Santos vs. Carwin”!

(Dana White runs down some current events with Ariel Helwani following the press conference. Props: MMAFighting)

The UFC hosted a press conference in Vancouver yesterday in advance of UFC 131, but the most interesting announcements had nothing to do with Saturday’s “Dos Santos vs. Carwin” event. Here’s a recap…

Five-round non-title fights: UFC president Dana White announced that the UFC will make non-title main event fights five rounds from now on; previously, only title fights were worthy of the five-round distinction. The rule doesn’t apply to non-title main events that are already booked — Dos Santos vs. Carwin, or Rashad Evans vs. Phil Davis at UFC 133, for example — but it will apply to every non-title main event signed in the future, even for UFC Fight Night and UFC Live events.

Flyweight division in the works: According to White, the UFC will be adding a 125-pound division “really soon,” possibly by the end of 2011. He expected that some of the UFC’s current bantamweights would make the drop.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/UFC)

If you missed the UFC 131 countdown show last night, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

Of noting is that the UFC enlisted the help of former WWE writer Paul Heyman to help produce the Camp Carwin segments of the show, which he was likely hired for when it was supposed to be his pal Brock Lesnar fighting dos Santos. It’s likely no coincidence, though that Carwin seemed to have a lot more contrived soundbites than usual like, “I’ve wrestled since I was six years old. These hands are meant to get ahold of people. I get ahold of Junior dos Santos, the fight’s over.”

(Video courtesy of YouTube/BratIvan88)

When news first got out that a little known fighter named Jon Olaf Einemo who hadn’t fought in over five years was scheduled to take on former UFC number one heavyweight contender Shane Carwin at UFC 131, many wrote it off as an easy tune-up fight for “The Engineer” who has been out of commission rehabbing a back and neck ailment since having surgery last year.

To those in the know, however, Einemo is a tough challenge, no matter how long he’s been away from MMA.

Einemo’s only MMA loss came by unanimous decision to Fabricio Werdum at PRIDE 31. For most, not being submitted by the decorated Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt would be an accomplishment in itself considering he tapped out Alistair Overeem and Aleksander Emelianenko just a few months later. But Einemo was an ADCC champ who won the revered submission grappling tournament in 2003, (and would later lose to Roger Gracie on points in 2009 in the same tournament) so it was unlikely he’d be submitted, even by Werdum.

Fast forward five years and the 35-year-old Norwegian heavyweight, who has remained busy training with his new Team Golden Glory teammates in Holland and competing in grappling tournaments since stepping away from MMA to focus on his family, is stepping back in the cage to take on UFC newcomer Dave Herman, who replaced Shane Carwin in the match (who stepped in to face Junior dos Santos in the main event when Brock Lesnar was forced off the card due to a diverticulitis flare-up) this weekend in Vancouver at UFC 131 this weekend. Most think that ring rust and Herman’s proven stand-up may play a factor in the bout, but considering Einemo is a main training partner of Strikeforce and K-1 champion Alistair Overeem and according to his coaches has had “many wars in sparring” with “The Reem,” it seems doubtful that the 6′ 6″ fighter (Herman is no slouch himself at 6′ 5″) will be unprepared in any areas of the fight.

After the jump: Rounds two and three of Einemo’s fight with Werdum and his ADCC match with Roger Gracie.

Come on Internet, where are all the awesome fan-made promos? VidProps: mleqs

Damn, we’re glad we didn’t make plans this summer, because we’re going to be typing our hands off over the next few weeks. After the warm up-act of the TUF 13 Finale, we enter one of those fun times when there’s always another show coming up to talk about: we’ll have some big MMA event every weekend. That’s good for you, since we’re less likely to try something new and different. Also good for us, because ideas are hard.

This Weekend

Friday, 10 June — MFC 30: Up Close and Personal The biggest MMA promotion in Canada returns for action, featuring Drew Fickett vs Brian Cobb, Marcus Davis vs Pete Spratt, Thomas Denny vs Sheldon Westcott, and the other Lima brother in welterweight action. Stay tuned for a full preview of the card.

Saturday, 11 June — UFC 131: Carwin vs Dos Santos. More like UFC 131: Snakebit, right? (Just kidding. But seriously.) Carwin vs Dos Santos; plus a pretty nice list of compelling names, but not a lot of intriguing matchups (Poirier vs who?) On the other hand, we couldn’t agree on many predictions while discussing this for the Bum Rush, so no telling how the card goes. Plus, Nick Ring vs James Head jokes will write themselves for a week, easy. Success!

Yessir, we’ve got another $50 store credit to MMAOutlet.com burning a hole through our pants, and we’re holding another fight-picking competition this week to determine its rightful owner.

This Saturday night, UFC 131 goes down in Vancouver, headlined by a heavyweight #1 contender fight between Junior Dos Santos and Shane Carwin, and a featherweight feature between Kenny Florian and Diego Nunes. If you want a crack at this week’s prize, post your predictions for these two fights in the comments section below, including the winner’s name, the method of victory, and the time/round of stoppage (if any). Basically, your entry should be in this format:

(Photographic proof of how the UFC contributed to  Aldo’s injury. That’s a slam dunk insurance claim right there.)

With the UFC featherweight title picture out of focus until champ Jose Aldo heals from a nagging shoulder injury, a question that was recently brought up was what happens if Diego Nunes beats Kenny Florian Saturday night at UFC 131? Surely, he won’t fight a teammate, since that’s a faux pas in Brazil, right?

Think again.

According to Aldo’s longtime trainer and Nova Uniao founder Andre Pederneiras, “Everyone from Nova Uniao knows that if they have to fight against each other, they will.”

“…and I call this here the ‘cattle prod’.”

Donald Cerrone faces UFC newcomer Vagner Rocha this weekend at UFC 131, but to hear him tell it, he knows next to nothing about the guy. “I haven’t watched any video on him and I haven’t watched any tape on him, I don’t care,” Cerrone told UFC.com, “I’m going in there to fight him like I’m going in there to fight anyone else.”

Of course, “fighting him like anyone else” means that we could well have a Fight of the Night on our hands, an award that Cerrone has picked up five times in four years. His first fight with Ben Henderson in 2009 was a five round war that was Sherdog’s pick for Fight of the Year. Now 14-3 (1 NC), Cerrone has racked up 12 submissions wins, but he’s not interested in going to the ground. Speaking of his opponent, a noted grappler with four of six wins coming via submission, Cerrone lets it be known that he wants a damn fight. “I hope he doesn’t come wanting to make this a jiu-jitsu match,” Cowboy says.

(Legal Disclaimer: Actual Bud Light contest winners will not be nearly as attractive as the people featured in this commercial. Props: officialbudlight)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza to Defend Strikeforce Title Against Luke Rockhold (5thRound)

- UFC 131 Tickets ‘Cannibalized’ by Vancouver Canucks NHL Finals Run and More (MMA Mania)

- Shane Carwin on Dos Santos: I’m Going to Knock Him Out or Tap Him Out and Feel No Remorse For It (LowKick)

- UFC 131 ‘Dos Santos vs. Carwin’ Pre-Fight Interview: Kenny Florian (MMA Convert)

- The 13 Strangest Fighting Styles to Ever Grace UFC’s Octagon (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Five Lessons: ‘TUF 13′ (NBC Sports MMA)

- Downes, Cope, and Kingsbury Top TUF 13 Finale Medical Suspensions (Five Ounces of Pain)

- Fight Journal: ‘Mayhem’ Miller Edition (MMA Fighting)

- Now You Can Watch Hector Lombard Give Joe Doerksen a Harry Potter Scar (MiddleEasy)

- “Combate Extremo” CEO Michael Shoffner talks about MMA in Mexico (TheFightNerd)

(Pokrajac chokes out James Irvin at UFC on Versus 2, but contracts the Sandman Curse in the process. Props: Francis Specker)

UFC 131 was never going to be remembered as the most stacked event of the year, but it did have a lot of crowd-pleasing names on it. Then, Brock Lesnar fell ill with a flare-up of diverticulitis, TUF 11 winner Court McGee tweaked his knee in training, and Mac Danzig’s chest injury snubbed out a compelling bang-up with Donald Cerrone. Throw in injury withdrawals from supporting players Anthony Perosh and Rani Yahya, and you’re left with a ghost-ship of a card that’s making Joe Silva work double-shifts.

Now, just days before the third UFC event in three weeks, the card continues to lose bodies. Due to an undisclosed injury*, Croatian light-heavyweight Igor Pokrajac has been forced to withdraw from his fight against Krzysztof Soszynski, and will be replaced on short notice by Mike Massenzio. (Pokrajac was already an injury replacement for Anthony Perosh, which means that this UFC 131 injury curse has affected K-Sos as much as anybody.)

There is mounting evidence to suggest that the city of Vancouver – and indeed the entire province of British Columbia – views MMA and its fans as a roving band of savages who are going to storm the town with torches and two-by-fours, burning every building and raping every damsel before climbing on their snarling horses and moving on to pillage the next village. At least that’s the impression we get from a number of local news reports leading up to June’s UFC 131. First there were reports from the Vancouver Courier that the police chief in The Couv was asking the UFC to foot the bill for extra cops outside the Rogers Arena during the event. The UFC rightly said no to that request last week. Now older reports are beginning to surface that the local government squashed a planned MMA expo last year and even one (from our own M-Russ in his previous incarnation at The Fight Network) alleging that area nightclubs tried to ban Affliction clothing as far back as 2007.

So, what gives? Why so petrified, Vancouver? Did somebody forget to tell them Brock Lesnar’s probably not even going to show up now? We hate to break the news this way, but the UFC has actually been doing shows all over the world for kind of a lot of years now and all of them – as far as we know – are still standing and operational as, you know, cities. From where we’re sitting it seems way more dangerous to say, have your team win the NBA championship than host a UFC event. Oh, wait. Sorry. Forgot. Anyway, more on this story, the UFC’s reaction and the possible roots of Vancouver’s MMA phobia after the jump.

(This man is earning his paycheck.)

A pair of UFC fight bookings were reported today by MMAJunkie. Heavyweight Octagon newcomers Jon Olaf Einemo and Dave Herman will meet at UFC 131 next month in Vancouver, BC and Vladimir Matyushenko and  Alexander Gustafsson will square off at UFC 133 in August in Philidelphia, PA.

(Pic: MMA Soldier)

It was rampant speculation time across the interwebs on Friday, after yesterday’s announcement that Brock Lesnar’s diverticulitis has returned with a vengeance. “Is Brock done?” we all wondered aloud. Is Carwin vs. dos Santos actually a better fight? Can the UFC rebound from a couple of weeks that saw the main events of UFC 130, 131 and 133 all go up in smoke? And, dear God, are Urijah Faber and Dominick Cruz next to suffer some bizarre malady, causing a reshuffling of the only PPV still left in one piece? Nobody knows.

What we do know is this: Brock Lesnar turns 34 in July and twice now since 2009 he’s seen his career indefinitely sidetracked by being the world’s only millionaire athlete to get a near fatal disease from not eating enough vegetables. Age has never been particularly kind to jumbo-sized athletes and even for a professional wrestler, Lesnar’s job history has been pretty flighty over the years. So, while we can’t say with any kind of certainty that his MMA career might be over over, Lesnar’s second bout with a strange digestive infection nobody had ever heard of before two years ago can’t exactly be considered a good thing. Apparently, the first time he went through this the UFC forgot to tell us that diverticulitis is something that sticks around for the rest of your life. Whoops. But we digress. What it all means for Lesnar, dos Santos, Carwin and – most importantly – you, after the jump.

(Lesnar was emphatic that this would not be a career-ending malady.)

The UFC held an impromptu conference call today to announce that former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar has been force to pull out of his upcoming UFC 131 bout in Vancouver next month against Junior dos Santos due to a recent flare-up of diverticulitis that has left the North Dakota native physically unable to train for the bout.

Hear the audio from the call HERE.

An obviously disappointed Lesnar, who spent 14 hours at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN yesterday undergoing a battery of tests, explained that he tried to work through the exhaustion and the pain of the malady, but it was simply too much to deal with while preparing for such an important bout. Both Lesnar and UFC president Dana White echoed the same sentiment that the fight is of secondary importance to Brock’s health and wellbeing, revealing that his symptoms began resurfacing three weeks ago.

(The Shotgun in action. Props: 000BHVids000)

The UFC announced yesterday that featherweight veteran Rani Yahya — who most recently scored an upset decision over Mike Brown at Fight for the Troops 2 — has suffered an injury, and will not be able to face Dustin Poirier at UFC 131 (June 11th, Vancouver). Filling in for him will be Octagon first-timer Jason “Shotgun” Young (8-3), a former Cage Rage lightweight champion based in London, England. Last month, Young competed at Ontario’s first sanctioned MMA event, where he scored a unanimous decision over Jorge Britto. (You can see Jason talk about that match here, if you want to get a sense of the dude’s vibe.)

Dustin “The Diamond” Poirier is riding back-to-back wins over Zach Micklewright and Josh Grispi. He’s poised to become one of 2011 breakout fighters — especially since the documentary about his life, Fightville, was just picked up by Showtime Networks.

(Maia’s ever-improving boxing has made him a more dangerous fighter.)

One of mixed martial arts’ best jiu-jitsu players, Demian Maia’s stock rose immensely when the then-undefeated Brazilian fighter quickly subbed Chael Sonnen at UFC 95. Since then he has only lost twice, and although he may not get a chance to avenge his 21-scond KO loss to Nate Marquardt since “The Great” announced recently that he will be dropping down to welterweight, there isn’t a day that goes by that Maia doesn’t think about a second meeting with UFC middleweight kingpin Anderson Silva.

The next rung up the title contention ladder for the 32-year-old, who has steadily improved his stand-up skills for each fight, is a June 11 meeting with scrappy former Division I wrestling champion Mark Muñoz at UFC 131 in Vancouver. We caught up with Maia yesterday and spoke with the humble middleweight about a number of topics, including his upcoming bout with “The Filipino Wrecking Machine,” his title aspirations and whether or not he would fight a friend if push came to shove.

Check out what Demian had to say after the jump.

(Should make for some interesting match-ups if you’re an MMA fan. Or if you’re a CP commenter, they’ll likely just be fodder for ginger and gay jokes.)

The UFC announced a pair of upcoming bouts Monday between featuring two TUF alumnus and a pair of apt opponents.

The Ultimate Fighter 12 contestant Cody McKenzie (12-1) and IFL and WEC Bart Palaszewski (35-14) will square off UFC 130 May 28 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas.

After picking up his first win in the Octagon at the TUF 12 finale over Aaron Wilkinson via his patented “Mackenzietine” choke, the 23-year-old Cordova, Alaska native lost the first bout of his 13-fight MMA career one month later to Yves Edwards by rear-naked choke at UFC: Fight For The Troops 2.

The bout will be Palaszewski’s first in the UFC having fought seven times for the WEC compiling a 4-3 record while fighting for the now defunct Zuffa-owned promotion. After racking up three wins in a row in the WEC, Palaszewski dropped his final fight for the organization, by razor-close split decision to Kamal Shalorus at WEC 53 in December.

Another bout that was revealed today was a UFC 131 middleweight tilt between undefeated TUF 11 contestant Nick Ring (11-0) and UFC newcomer James Head (7-1) set for the Rogers Arena in Vancouver, BC.