(Awww, looks like Cindy got into momma’s makeup drawer!)

When it comes to finding replacements for UFC 133‘s increasingly cursed lineup, UFC matchmaker Joe Silva has clearly reached the “eff this noise, I’ll be at the bar” stage of the process. The latest update is that Rich Franklin has been removed from the card entirely, after his original opponent Antonio Rogerio Nogueira went down with a shoulder injury this weekend. For the record, King Mo twitter-offered to step up against Ace — a compelling possibility in its own weird way — but the UFC ignored his ass. Anyway, it’s a real shame. All those ice baths for nothing.

As a result, Vitor Belfort vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama is now the co-main event of “Evans vs. Ortiz II”, and Brian Ebersole vs. Dennis Hallman has been promoted to the main PPV card. (Yeah, you still have to pay for this one. Sorry.)

And damn, we didn’t even tell you: Vladimir Matyushenko pulled out of his prelim fight against Alexander Gustafsson last week due to injury. Stepping in to replace him will be none other than Matt Hamill, who’s coming off his decision loss to Rampage Jackson in May. I know, it’s impossible to keep up with all these lineup changes at this point, which is why we put the current UFC 133 fight card after the jump. Pray that things don’t change much from now until August 6th.

If this wasn’t the perfect chance to pull the ol’ switcheroo, I don’t know what is. (Pic: MMAFight.com)

Just as other cards have been steadily beefing up their rosters, UFC 133 has taken another major hit. The UFC announced last night that Antonio Rogerio Nogueira has pulled out of his bout against Rich Franklin due to a shoulder injury.

The promotion now finds itself in the exact position it was in only days ago when an injury to Phil Davis sent them scrambling to find a suitable light heavyweight replacement for their main event bout. It was slim pickings at that time, with Machida attempting to ransom off his services for “Anderson Silva money” and Tito taking the fight after initially turning it down. They now have three weeks to sign a replacement or remove Franklin from the card.

Machida’s reasons for turning down the Evans bout—namely short notice and the need to relocate his entire training camp to the US—have only been exacerbated at this point with even fewer days on the calendar. Of course, maybe he’s willing to suck it up after Dana was vocal about his feelings on the matter. Middleweights Chris Leben and Chael Sonnen had also volunteered their services, but Sonnen now has a dance partner. Could we see “The Crippler” make the jump to 205lbs to take a swing at another legend?

(This won’t end well for Rashad…trust us.)

Perennial UFC number-one light heavyweight contender Rashad Evans joined host Larry Pepe on Pro MMA Radio Monday prior to word coming out that Phil Davis was out as his opponent at UFC 133 and Tito Ortiz was stepping in as his replacement. During his spot on the show, Evans complained about getting gypped of his promised title shot, not once, but twice.

“I haven’t heard anything about [whether or not the winner of the fight with Davis gets the next title shot]. I don’t even want to assume something because every time I assume something it just never works out the way my assumptions go. I don’t like to assume; if it happens, it happens. I just keep going out there and fight,” he explained. “There’s a lot of guys in the 205 weight class. It’s whatever, man. I just want to fight. I’ve been out of the cage so long that I realize what a privilege it is to go out there and compete. I haven’t been out there in so long that I’m kind of missing the sport a whole lot.”

(You can’t fake that kind of hate. Video courtesy of YouTube/tifosi8500)

Zuffa held an impromptu conference call today with  Dana White in which the UFC president discussed the announcement yesterday that Tito Ortiz will be stepping in for injured Phil Davis to face Rashad Evans at UFC 133 next month.

Check out the highlights of the call after the jump.

(A pretty solid metaphor for their respective careers right now.)

With the UFC still in the lurch after Phil Davis’s injury wrecked yet another UFC main event, Tito Ortiz has done the unthinkable — he’s decided to become a team player. After initially refusing to step up as Rashad Evans‘s replacement opponent at UFC 133, Ortiz has now agreed to take the fight, which will come just five weeks after his shock upset of Ryan Bader at UFC 132. Oddly enough, Tito’s change-of-heart came after Lyoto Machida accepted the fight, then lost the opportunity during negotiations. We’ll let Dana White tell the story, via MMAJunkie:

“Machida accepted the fight. We knew for a couple days this was going down, and Machida accepted the fight. Then when we called back and said, ‘OK, we’re going to make this fight,’ Machida’s people came back and said, ‘We’ll tell you what. You pay us what you pay Anderson Silva, and we’ll take the fight.’ This was after they had already agreed to take the fight.

I said, ‘Are you [expletive] kidding me? I’ll tell you what. You tell Machida he achieves what [expletive] Anderson Silva has achieved, then maybe he’ll make Anderson Silva money. Have a nice day.’…

Yep, this is really happening. Mad props to Steampunk for putting this together…

Update: By the way, another source says Machida is not taking the fight, so, you know, whatever.

(“I’M BACK!” has been downgraded to “Just give me a minute, okay?”)

Update, 11:07 a.m. ET: Yahoo!’s Kevin Iole tweets that Lyoto Machida is in vs. Rashad Evans. Source is a text-message from Dana White.

The race is on to salvage UFC 133‘s main event, in the wake of Phil Davis’s knee injury withdrawal. One fighter who won’t be stepping up against Rashad Evans on short notice is Tito Ortiz, who’s coming off his career-restoring submission of Ryan Bader at UFC 132. According to an MMAFighting report, Ortiz was the first man the UFC turned to when Davis bowed out, but the Huntington Beach Bad Boy declined the offer. As he explained via twitter:

I have a life and things to take care of. The fight game is about making the right choices of my career. If you knew what I have been going through you all would understand. Peaking for a fight is what makes a fighter unstoppable! Timing is everything in life. This is a rebuild year for me not do or die. The time will come again!

(“My knee should be OK next week. I’ll take Tito when they match Rashad up with Lyoto.”)

According to MMAFighting, Phil Davis suffered a knee injury and as such has been forced to pull out of his UFC 133 main event bout with Rashad Evans. Although no replacement opponent has been named, sources say the UFC will be announcing Davis injury and Evans’ new opponent for the August 6 event soon.

Two prime candidates would be Lyoto Machida and Tito Ortiz — both of whom Evans has faced before. He lost in his very first title defense against Machida by second-round KO at UFC 98, five months after TKO’ing Forrest Griffin at UFC 92 to win the strap. Evans battled to a draw with Tito Ortiz at UFC 73, but would have likely lost the bout had “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” not been deducted a point for grabbing the fence.

Machida is on the sidelines awaiting word of his next bout and Ortiz could likely be ready in time to fight on the card.

Barring something completely crazy and unexpected, the fight card for UFC 133 on August 6 in Philadelphia is set in place. Yesterday, the UFC officially announced the addition of a middleweight clash between Rafael Natal and Constantinos Philippou to the prelims. Rafael Natal is coming off of a majority draw against Jesse Bongfeldt at UFC 124, while Constantinos Philippou lost his UFC debut against Nick Catone at UFC 128.

Even though both middleweights are still searching for their first UFC victories, this bout is likely to appeal to the local fans. Both fighters are veterans of Atlantic City’s Ring of Combat, amassing a combined record of 10-2, with one no contest within the promotion.

UFC 133 will be headlined by a light heavyweight fight between Phil Davis and Rashad Evans. Also set for this card is throwback between Rich Franklin and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, the return of Vitor Belfort against Yoshihiro Akiyama and another attempt at the ill-fated Jorge Rivera vs. Alessio Sakara scrap. Not to mention the other seven fights listed after the jump.

(M-Bone is Dougie’ing in his grave right now. Props: Ariel Helwani)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Team Gina Carano Updates Strikeforce on Health Condition via Vague Email (5thRound)

- Pete Sell Returns to Competition After Two-Year Absence, Wins Ring of Combat Welterweight Title (TheFightNerd)

- The New CEO of ProElite Explains to Us How the Company Plans to Be the Number Two MMA Organization in the World (MiddleEasy)

- Werdum and Gloom: The Politics of Pulling Guard (NBC Sports MMA)

- Chad Griggs vs. Daniel Cormier Could Be ‘Logical Next Step’ for Strikeforce (MMA Fighting)

- Ring Girls Round-Up: Ashleigh Marley (LowKick)

- 28 Reasons We’d Love to Have Dana White’s Job (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- ‘UFC 132: Cruz vs. Faber 2′ Conference Call Highlights (Five Ounces of Pain)

- UFC 133: Jorge Rivera Is Too Old to Keep Getting Punched in the Head (MMA Mania)

- Fedor Emelianenko: ‘Two Mistakes In A Row Cannot Be Coincidence’ (MMA Convert)

(Photographic proof of how the UFC contributed to  Aldo’s injury. That’s a slam dunk insurance claim right there.)

With the UFC featherweight title picture out of focus until champ Jose Aldo heals from a nagging shoulder injury, a question that was recently brought up was what happens if Diego Nunes beats Kenny Florian Saturday night at UFC 131? Surely, he won’t fight a teammate, since that’s a faux pas in Brazil, right?

Think again.

According to Aldo’s longtime trainer and Nova Uniao founder Andre Pederneiras, “Everyone from Nova Uniao knows that if they have to fight against each other, they will.”

(“Get a load of this guy. He calls himself ‘Money.’”)

The UFC moved swiftly to find a replacement opponent for number one UFC featherweight contender Chad Mendes when 145-pound champ Jose Aldo bowed out of a planned late summer match-up with the 26-year-old Hanford, California native earlier in the week. According to MMAJunkie, the promotion has inked Rani Yahya to face Mendes at UFC 133 August 6 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

(This man is earning his paycheck.)

A pair of UFC fight bookings were reported today by MMAJunkie. Heavyweight Octagon newcomers Jon Olaf Einemo and Dave Herman will meet at UFC 131 next month in Vancouver, BC and Vladimir Matyushenko and  Alexander Gustafsson will square off at UFC 133 in August in Philidelphia, PA.

(“I’m healthy, I’m motivated, and there’s no way Phan is training as hard as I am.”)

Two years ago, Mike Brown was on the top of the world — an undisputed featherweight champion who could boast that he beat Urijah Faber twice. But after knockout losses to Jose Aldo and Manny Gamburyan, and a heartbreaking stretch earlier this year in which he dropped decisions to Diego Nunes and Rani Yahya in the same month, he’s now just fighting to stay relevant.

The UFC confirmed yesterday that Brown’s next match will be against TUF 12 vet Nam Phan at UFC 133 (August 6th, Philadelphia). Phan is coming off his very controversial split-decision loss to Leonard Garcia in December, after which he coined the phrase “Asian brother can’t get no love.” The body-shot specialist was slated to return to action in a rematch with Garcia at UFC Fight Night 24, but had to withdraw from the bout due to a broken foot; Chan Sung Jung stepped in and took care of business.

(So you’re saying you have no idea how you caught hepatitis, Vitor? No idea whatsoever?)

If MMA has a Job figure, Vitor Belfort is it. The man who famously “expect Jesus bro, every day” has suffered everything from personal tragedies, to injuries, to disappointing matchups, to freakish, one-in-a-million knockout losses. An agonizing liver disease is the last thing he needs at this point. But as always, God works in mysterious ways. Belfort broke the news yesterday evening via Twitter:

“I have hepatitis a. This thing hurt so bad I pray that God will take [care] off me . Don’t forget to pray for me…Guys I just want to let u know that this hepatitis A is easy to treat so don’t worry guys in 2 weeks I am back in the gym…Sorry Canada I will not be able to be there but I am sure u guys will have the best time in life…I love Jesus. I know that this will make me more strong then before, please God burn hepatitis and send her to hell”

According to Belfort’s representative Pedro Lima, doctors are unsure how Belfort caught Hepatitis A — which is generally transmitted by ingestion of contaminated food or water or through contact with an infected person — but the Phenom’s upcoming fight with Yoshihiro Akiyama should still proceed as planned.

(If Rashad tests positive for anything after this fight it will likely be Prozac.)

A torn tendon in his hand that he suffered in his UFC 128 light heavyweight championship win over Mauricio “Shogun” Rua has forced Jon Jones to bow out of his August UFC 133 grudge match against former training partner Rashad Evans. Stepping in for the injured champion in the bout will be Phil Davis.

The news was first reported this morning by Neil Davidson of The Canadian Press and was later announced by the UFC.

It seems like Rashad can’t get a break these days.

(Oh put your hands down, Yves, you had nothing to do with that shit.)

Dana White confirmed today that a middleweight meeting between Vitor Belfort and Yoshihiro Akiyama has been set for UFC 133, August 6th in Philadelphia. It’s a bit of tough break for Belfort, who previously agreed to a fight with Wanderlei Silva (which fell through), then pleaded for a spot on the UFC Rio card and didn’t get that either. On the bright side, Belfort has the firepower to knock Akiyama’s dome into the front row, as long as he can avoid eating a surprise front kick. “Sexyama” has dropped his last two fights, and hasn’t scored a victory since his split-decision win over Alan Belcher at UFC 100 in July 2009.

Speaking of UFC 133, welterweight oddball sensation Brian Ebersole will be returning at the Philly event, fresh off his upset decision win over Chris Lytle at UFC 127 in February. Ebersole will face off against veteran Dennis Hallman, who is riding back-to-back wins over Ben Saunders and Karo Parisyan — both of whom were fired from the UFC after those losses. Ebersole and Hallman have a combined 117 MMA fights between the two of them.

In other fight-booking news…

(Even five months later, Jorge’s tuxedo-shorts still crack me up. And yes, Sakara looks like he’s about to barf up five cans’ worth of Starkist.)

Jorge Rivera will try to wipe away the insult/injury of his ugly and controversial UFC 127 loss to Michael Bisping, when he steps into the Octagon this summer against Alessio Sakara. The UFC confirmed that the matchup would take place at UFC 133 in August, though the event still doesn’t have an official date or venue; MMAFighting.com says it’ll go down August 6th at the Wells Fargo Center in Philly.

If the Rivera vs. Sakara matchup sounds familiar, pat yourself on the head — the two hard-hitting middleweights were originally slated to get it on last November at UFC 122 in Germany, but Sakara withdrew on the day of the fight, due to bad tuna fish or something. Legionarius returned last month at “Sanchez vs. Kampmann,” where he dropped a unanimous decision to Serra-Longo rookie Chris Weidman, who took the fight on short-notice. We’d call that an upset, but it technically wasn’t. (Great job, bookies.) If you have any suggestions for Rivera’s inevitable video-parodies, please let us know in the comments section.