(“Sorry Frankie, but based on the terms of your pay-per-view bonus scale — as clearly stated in your contract — you actually owe us $10,000.“)

It wasn’t just UFC 150‘s live-gate that fell way below expectations. According to a new report from Dave “Doom ‘N’ Gloom” Meltzer, last weekend’s Edgar vs. Henderson 2 card pulled in an estimated 190,000 pay-per-view buys. Judging by the MMAPayout.com Blue Book, that would make UFC 150 the second worst-performing UFC PPV since February 2006. And what’s the #1 worst-performing card of the last six years? The UFC 147: Silva vs. Franklin 2 show from just two months earlier, which took in only 175k buys. (UFC 149: Faber vs. Barao didn’t fare much better last month with a modest 235k buys.) Sorry Fric and Frack, Christmas has been canceled this year.

A couple caveats:
Keep in mind that there was a technical issue on Saturday night where DirecTV subscribers were unable to order the UFC 150 broadcast by phone or computer, although they could still order it via their remotes, according to reports. Plus, Bendo vs. Frankie ran up against the penultimate night of the 2012 Olympics, which may have stolen a few more viewers.

That being said…

(They were so young, so…innocent. OK, maybe just young.) 

If you are in need a pick-me-up, then boy do we have some good news for you. Chances are, if you ordered tickets to UFC 149, you are a sad panda bordering on manic depressive at the moment. Every single main card fight has been changed from its original pairing, leaving us with a headlining battle for a belt that has no value outside of Narnia, where its gold could possibly be smelted into a dagger of some sort and used to smite an enemy with extreme righteousness.

But praise the Gods, an angel from on High has been sent to repair this weak, starving card as best as she can with only the power of her presence, like a stacked Mother Teresa if you will. That woman is former UFC ring girl Rachelle Leah, who will be making her triumphant return to the octagon at UFC 149. We last saw Ms. Leah at UFC 111, where she turned in perhaps the single greatest night of card carrying the sport has ever seen. Check out a few of our favorite photos of Rachelle after the jump, and be sure to follow her on Twitter.

(No, you can’t do that… you can’t triple jab a double jab, you can’t triple jab a double jab! Ace!)

Perhaps this news shouldn’t be all that shocking, considering that MMA is as popular in Brazil as, well, pornography is in Brazil. In either case, you might be surprised to learn that the incredibly weak lineup of UFC 147, which faced enough injury withdrawals to give Joe Silva a heart attack twice over, drew in over 20 million viewers, as reported by Tatame.com. That’s only three million less than UFC 142 brought in back in January, which featured Jose Aldo’s destruction of Chad Mendes, Edson Barboza’s destruction of Terry Etim, and Anthony Johnson’s destruction of a nearby Chima Steakhouse.

(I repeat…not a winner. / Props: w9 and MiddleEasy)

Chael Sonnen has a rather unique relationship with the people of Brazil. He brutally mocks them for being uncivilized savages, and they get so angry that they just want to make his sweet little ass pay, you know? This bizarre dynamic reared its ugly head again at UFC 147 on Saturday night, as a local fan unrolled a photoshopped poster that seemed to imply that…well, I don’t think this really needs any further description. Thank God for that UFC belt, or Shane Diesel would be suing for trademark infringement right now.

As Joe Rogan explained on the UG, “Someone from the crew looked up at that one, and said ‘Did you see that poster? Anderson is holding Sonnen like a baby!’ I looked up at it, and I was like, ‘What the fuck do you do with babies that makes you think that’s a baby?’”

Good question. So can any of you make an even more insulting photoshopped poster for UFC 148: Silva vs. Sonnen 2? If so, send it to contest@cagepotato.com and God help us, we might post the best ones next week.

By Elias Cepeda

Card subject to change.

UFC 147′s main event provided the most fireworks of the night but other than that, it was the under card that shone brightest. Rodrigo Damm earned his first win in the UFC’s featherweight division with a rear naked choke submission win in the first round over Anistavio Medeiros de Figueiredo.

Damm took home Submission of the Night honors and the accompanying $65k bonus check. Marcus Vinicius won the KO of the night award and bonus money for his come from behind win over Wagner Campos in the final stanza of their bout. Vinicius used knees to the head and body to drop Campos and finished with nasty punches on the ground.

TUF Brazil Final Matches

Four young Brazilian prospects got the opportunity to become the next “Ultimate Fighters” last night, and in front of a raucously supportive gigantic crowd inside the nation’s largest indoor stadium, no less. Given the fighters’ Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu backgrounds, and relative inexperience, we saw a new phenomenon on display during the TUF Brazil finals – guys that can’t yet wrestle very well and are largely uncomfortable striking on their feet.

By Elias Cepeda

(At UFC 147 Rich Franklin proved that he could survive even the most brutal of hair cuts and go on to win in impressive fashion)

Sometimes, while covering an event, the perfect story book ending intersects with what a writer personally wants to see happen. But most of the time, it doesn’t. At UFC 147, it nearly did, sort of.

It is time I stop hiding it because you’d undoubtedly see through me at some point, potato nation – I am a huge Wanderlei Silva fan. If he’s not my all-time emotional favorite, he’s no worse than at the 3 spot. As such, I enjoyed seeing him tear fighters apart as Pride contender and champion and, for the past six years, have watched him fight with more and more trepidation each time out, worried that the brain damage he’s sure to have accrued over two decades of professional fighting was growing with each knock out loss or even hard punch landed to his tattooed dome.

But even when a slugger’s reflexes have slowed and their chin softened, their power stays with them. So, since Wanderlei insisted on continuing to fight, and he took on Rich Franklin in the main event of last night’s UFC 147, I secretly hoped that Wand could stay safe on the feet long enough to land a bomb of his own and put Franklin out.

What a note that would be to go out on for Silva – returning to his home country to fight for the first time in twelve years, as a legend and champion, and avenging a loss in dramatic fashion in front of the largest indoor stadium crowd in Brazil. Perhaps then Wand could be convinced to retire and move on to an ambassador role for the surging sport and UFC organization in Brazil and across the globe.

I didn’t think any part of that scenario was likely, the playing it strategic and safe, the winning, the retiring, but I hoped. However, the Wanderlei Silva we saw Saturday night was much better than any we’d seen in some time and he nearly toppled Franklin before ultimately losing a unanimous decision.

(“You look very familiar, bro. Verrrrry familiar.” / Image via buzzbox.com)

The UFC makes its first stop in Belo Horizonte, Brazil, tonight for an extraordinarily cursed card that, let’s face it, we probably wouldn’t be watching if it wasn’t our job. Wanderlei Silva is fighting Rich Franklin again, this time at a 190-pound catchweight. (Also known as “middleweight plus.”) Fabricio Werdum is battling fellow big-man Mike Russow. And some guys from TUF Brazil are fighting too, although not all of the ones who should be. It is what it is. I’m guessing that very few of you will be buying this card, but if you’re out doing something more interesting tonight, please use your smart phones to follow along when you can.

Handling the thankless liveblog duties for this evening is Anthony Gannon, who will be layin’ down round-by-round updates from the UFC 147 pay-per-view main card after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. And to prevent this from becoming the least-commented CagePotato liveblog of all time, I encourage you to use the comments section to discuss anything that comes to mind. Seriously, it doesn’t have to be UFC related. I’ll give you a topic to start off with: Germany invaded Poland earlier today. Do you think America should get involved?

(Wanderlei after hearing Chael Sonnen dismiss churrascarias as “jungle bar-b-que”)

Few fighters embody the philosophy of “don’t talk about it, be about it,” more than former Pride middleweight champion Wanderlei Silva. “The Axe Murderer” has always preferred action over rhetoric and so trash talk from him has been rare over the years.

That’s what makes it so fun when he actually does talk smack. About a month ago I interviewed Wanderlei for the UFC and Yahoo! Sports about his upcoming UFC 147 main event, which takes place tonight. At the time he was scheduled to rematch his nemesis Vitor Belfort, but now he’s fighting Rich Franklin. The animosity Wanderlei has for Vitor is such that he had no problem talking trash about him. Unfortunately, when the opponents changed, those quotes were lost to the world…until now.

Below is not a traditional interview, but rather Wanderlei Silva trash talk highlights from that conversation in May. When prompted, Wanderlei had a lot to say about Chael Sonnen and Vitor Belfort both, ranging from topics of respect, to cowardice to the difference between “big balls,” and non-functioning testicles.

I enjoyed hearing it all from the man himself so much that I had to share it with you, taters. Bon appetite.

(Props: @ewillphoto via ThePeoplesCecil)

Perhaps “cluttered” is the best word to describe this weekend’s action. After all, that’s the same word that you would also use for your bedroom floor: There’s a lot of stuff on it, but there’s not much there that you couldn’t live without. This weekend, we have a lot of MMA available to us, such as UFC on FX 4, UFC 147 and Bellator 71. But despite the quantity of the fights available to us, there seems to be very little in terms of fights with immediate significance. It’s one thing when ratings are slipping, it’s another thing when your promotion has to offer full refunds for an injury plagued card, and it’s yet another thing when the only attention your promotion gets for an upcoming card revolves around the wife beater you recently inked a deal with.

But have no fear; this floor isn’t entirely covered in dirty socks, empty bottles and condom wrappers. There are some interesting tussles worth watching (notice we didn’t say pay for), which we’ll make the argument for after the jump. Or you can just join us later for our liveblogs of UFC on FX 4 and UFC 147. That works, too.

Did that title totally blow your freakin minds?! We know it did, but for those of you who still remain on the planet Earth after reading it, prepare yourselves for a double dose of down and dirty gambling advice. Thanks to a pair of back-to-back cards and an injury curse the likes of which we’ve never seen before, this weekend’s UFC on FX 4 and UFC 147 events have just enough interesting matchups between them to help you prosper during the greatest American depression since the last great American depression, so lets do some (betting) lines!

UFC on FX: Maynard vs. Guida
Gray Maynard (-305) vs. Clay Guida (+275)
Spencer Fisher (+260) vs. Sam Stout (-290)
Brian Ebersole (-240) vs. T.J. Waldburger (+200)
Ross Pearson (-180) vs. Cub Swanson (+165)
Hatsu Hioki (-185) vs. Ricardo Lamas (+155)
C.J. Keith (+225) vs. Ramsey Nijem (-285)
Joey Gambino (-115 ) vs. Steven Siler (-115)
Rick Story (-380) vs. Brock Jardine (+290)
Luis Ramos (+145) vs. Matt Brown (-175)
Chris Camozzi (+175) vs. Nick Catone (-245)
Ricardo Funch (+375) vs. Dan Miller (-515)

UFC 147 
Rich Frankin (-170) vs. Wanderlei Silva (+150)
Cezar Ferreira (-260) vs. Sergio Moraes (+200)
Rony Mariano Bezerra (-280) vs. Godofredo de Oliveira (+220)
Mike Russow (+400) vs. Fabricio Werdum (-500)
Yuri Alcantara (+220) vs. Hacran Dias (-280)
(all figures courtesy of BestFightOdds) 

Thoughts…

(“Axe Murdering” — a Wanderlei Silva highlight film by Potato Nation hall-of-famer Perdew.)

By George Shunick

If it wasn’t for the utter disintegration of UFC 149, UFC 147 might be the most disappointing card of the year. Originally supposed to feature the rematch between Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen in Brazil, then Vitor Belfort and Wanderlei Silva, we are now stuck with Rich Franklin squaring off against the latter Silva. Of course, it’s cards like this that always end up surprising all the naysayers with copious amounts of glorious violence, so maybe there’s hope after all! OK, so while you’re not going to go out of your way to buy this card any time soon, at least the main event still might be worth pirating online. (Sorry Dana, you’re the one who’s trying to charge $50 for this.)

Now I may be in the minority on this one, but I’m actually more excited for Franklin-Silva than I was for Belfort-Silva. Why? Because it’s not a glorified squash match. Look, I’m a big fan of Wanderlei. I can’t think of something more enjoyable than watching that bloodthirsty sociopath do more damage and evoke more terror in Japan in eight years than Godzilla did in over half a century. But between his once-granite chin being reduced to rubble, his age compromising his speed and cardio — all while retaining the punching technique of a wind turbine — Silva is no longer the force he once was. Against a heavy-handed striker, he’s in trouble. Against a striker of Belfort’s caliber, he’s toast.

Fortunately for Silva, Rich Franklin isn’t quite as dangerous. Despite a permanent role on UFC highlight reels with his knockouts of Nate Quarry and Chuck Liddell, Franklin can no longer be considered one of the top strikers in the middleweight division. Like Silva, he’s alternated wins and losses since their last meeting. Both have suffered a brutal knockout loss since then as well; Franklin to Belfort and Silva to Chris Leben. In fact, Franklin and Silva match up fairly well with each other; both have solid stand-up and sound – if unspectacular – ground games. Much like their previous meeting, this has the potential be a close, dramatic fight.

(A typical WNBA game, or a preview of UFC 147?) 

Wow.

We may have been forced to watch every UFC card planned for this summer slowly disintegrate into a vapid shell of what they once were, but even the precogs we keep chained up in the basement of CP headquarters could not see this coming. Due to the seemingly endless string of injuries that has threatened to consume UFC 147 in a fiery ball of mediocrity, the UFC is offering any fan who already purchased a ticket for said event a full refund. 

It should be noted that this has never happened in the history of the UFC.

Although we imagine most fans who met that criteria likely took to Ebay after it was announced that Vitor Belfort had broken his hand, we still can’t believe that the UFC is essentially admitting defeat on a card that somehow still remains at pay-per-view status. Let us drop some knowledge on you: The last UFC PPV that failed to break the 200k buy mark was UFC 55: Fury, which topped off at a little over 125,000 buys. Featuring what was essentially a squash match heavyweight title fight between Andrei Arlovski and Paul Buentello (which was over before those in attendance could order a soft pretzel), as well as Forrest Griffin vs. Elvis freakin’ Sinosic as the co-main event and Chael Sonnen’s continuing struggle to defend a triangle choke, UFC 55′s pay-per-view numbers were simply an accurate reflection of the card’s weakness.

Needless to say, UFC 147 looks like it is primed to shatter that record by a good fifty or sixty thousand buys in the opposite direction.

(Wanderlei Silva, seen here mirroring the feelings of everyone who purchased a ticket for any UFC event this summer.) 

The tales of UFC 147-UFC 149 are not unlike the tale of Meg Ryan. What started off as a moderately attractive, if not rather inviting group of cards, has undergone so many face lifts and botched botox injections that they have been left a hollowed, sun-dried husk of what it once was. It has gotten so bad, in fact, that most of us can’t even recognize the frumpy, blonde haired cards we fell in love with in the first place and now must resort to faking it. “It” being interest.

So you’ll forgive our apathy as we inform you that TUF: Brazil finalist Daniel Sarafian has been forced to withdraw from his matchup with fellow finalist Cezar “Mutante” Ferreira less than a week out from UFC 147. UFC.com broke the news:

The Ultimate Fighter Brazil® middleweight favorite Daniel Sarafian, who earned a spot in the finals with an impressive flying-knee knockout, has been injured and cannot compete in this Saturday’s UFC® 147: Silva vs. Franklin II.

More from this story and the tattered remains of the UFC 147 fight card are after the jump.

Read More ADD COMMENTS (4) DIGG THIS

In his prime, Wanderlei Silva was the scariest man in MMA — the kind of fighter you’d cross the cage just to avoid. As he heads into his main event fight against Rich Franklin at UFC 147 this Saturday, let’s take a moment to remember the Axe Murderer the way he should be remembered. Our favorite GIFs of Wandy tearing people apart and acting like a psycho begin after the jump…

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

UFC 147′s replacement main event may seem like a re-tread of an old classic, but it’s the little differences, y’know? First off, Rich Franklin and Wanderlei Silva will be fighting a five-rounder this time, which could affect their pace and game-plans, and allows each man more time to secure a finish.

Second, unlike their first meeting at 195 pounds, this one will happen slightly lower down the catchweight scale at 190. While that won’t matter much to Silva, who’s been competing at middleweight for the last two years, it’ll be the first time Franklin has had to fight below 195 pounds since he beat up Travis Lutter in 2008.

And of course, Silva vs. Franklin 2 will go down in Silva’s home country of Brazil, whereas their first fight at UFC 99 took place in the neutral territory of Cologne, Germany. Add up enough minor differences, and the tenor of the fight could change drastically. Franklin is a slightly heavier favorite over Wandy going into this fight (-155) as he was going into their last one (-140). Should he be?

As for the other fight on this card that you halfway-care about…

(Cote has never been the same since the night he had a run-in with Rousimar Palhares’ doppelganger.) 

When all is said and done for the human race, there will be three rivalries that stand above them all in the footnotes of history: America vs. The Brits, Germany vs. Everybody, and now, Canada vs. Vietnam. Though there hasn’t been a feud between the two on the level of the Hatfields and McCoys yet, things are about to change. Why, you ask? Well, it has just been announced that Canada’s own Patrick Cote will be returning to the octagon to face Vietnamese-born San Shou expert Cung Le at UFC 148. The war that will inevitably result from this pairing will easily go down as the most significant clash Canada has gotten into since the Hans Island dispute with Denmark in the early 80′s.

Cote will be filling the void left by Rich Franklin, who recently vacated his fight with Le to face Wanderlei Silva (again) at UFC 147 in Vitor Belfort’s absence. Cote has not fought in the UFC since October of 2010 at UFC 121, where he dropped a unanimous decision to Tom Lawlor, his third straight loss in the promotion, and was subsequently released.

Since exiting the promotion, Cote has strung together four straight wins, including a most recent first round knockout of Shooto/IFL vet Gustavo Machado, a win that we speculated could earn him a trip back to the UFC. And damn it, it feels good to be right for once.

Check out a video of Cote’s most recent performance after the jump. 

(This one is for The Number 23, and the next one is for that God damn penguin movie!) 

Yep, that’s right. None other than former middleweight champion Rich “Ace” Franklin will be the man to fill in for Vitor Belfort against Wanderlei Silva in the main event of UFC 147. The fight will be contested at a catchweight of 190 pounds. Sound familiar? That might be because these two met at UFC 99 back in June of 2009 at a catchweight of just five pounds heavier (a.k.a Rumbleweight, Franklinweight, Moneyweight, or 195 lbs.). The fight was an action packed affair that saw “Ace” emerge victorious by way of unanimous decision.

As you may recall, Franklin was originally expected to take on Cung Le at UFC 148, who has now been left without an opponent. After Vitor was forced to withdraw from his rematch with Silva due to a broken hand, however, everyone from Alan Belcher, who also injured himself in the meantime, to Michael Bisping, who Wanderlei already defeated by UD in his UFC middleweight debut back at UFC 110, were being pegged as potential opponents, even in light of Bisping/Boetsch already being announced.

Though this matchup will more than likely make for an exciting fight (being that their first scrap took home FOTN honors), we may be looking at the possibility of UFC 147 being demoted from a pay-per-view to a free card at this point. And here’s why.

(Looks healthy to me. Rub some dirt on it and suck in that lip, kid. / Photo via @vitorbelfort)

When we finally get around to making our “Ten Top Injury-Cursed MMA Fighters of All Time” list, Vitor Belfort has to be in the top 3 based on the number of marquee fights that have been scrapped due to his horrifically bad luck. The UFC announced over the weekend that Belfort has suffered (another) broken hand in training, and won’t be able to fight Wanderlei Silva in the main event of UFC 147 (June 23rd; Belo Horizonte, Brazil). The event will go on as scheduled, with the Axe Murderer headlining against an opponent to be named later.

This isn’t just awful news for Vitor — it’s even worse news for UFC 147, which was originally supposed to be headlined by the Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen mega-rematch. After that match was moved to Vegas, Jose Aldo was briefly considered for the headlining spot, before his title defense against Erik Koch was made official for UFC 149 in Calgary. The point is, Belfort vs. Silva might not have been enough to carry a pay-per-view in the first place, and now the card is almost completely at square one less than a month before showtime.

So who would you like to see step in against Wanderlei Silva? And should the UFC consider scrapping this card altogether?

Let the speculation over UFC 147′s location end.

After a United Nations convention in Rio forced the UFC to change the original venue, the UFC announced that UFC 147 will still take place on June 23 in Brazil. Specifically, Estádio Jornalista Felipe Drumond – commonly refered to as the “Mineirinho” Arena – in the city of Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais will house the event.

Mineirinho Arena is the largest indoor arena in Brazil, capable of holding 25,000 people at full capacity.

Needless to say, the UFC is pretty excited about booking the venue. In a press release sent out by the UFC, UFC Managing Director of International Development Marshall Zelaznik issued the following statement: “It is great for our fans and for the UFC to be able to stage events in new parts of Brazil. The UFC is exploding everywhere in the country and Minas Gerais, being the third biggest state in the country, seemed like the perfect place for this.”

UFC 147 will mark the first time that the promotion held an event in Brazil outside of Rio de Janeiro since UFC Brazil was held in Sao Paulo on October 16, 1998.

By Elias Cepeda

(The Silva/Sonnen staredown nuzzledown from today’s press-conference, via MMAMania.)

The good news? Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen will indeed rematch one another this summer. The bad news, at least for Brazilian fans, is that the mega bout will not take place in Brazil as originally planned, but rather in Las Vegas.

UFC President Dana White convened a press conference in Rio this morning, breaking the news alongside middleweight champion Silva and #1 contender Sonnen. White said he wanted to secure a soccer stadium in either Sao Paulo or Rio de Janiero for UFC 147, with Silva vs. Sonnen headlining, but that “everything that could go wrong, went wrong.” That included a United Nations conference being scheduled in Rio during the weekend UFC 147 was originally scheduled for, creating an insurmountable logistical nightmare for the promotion.

Silva vs. Sonnen II will now be moved to UFC 148 on July 7th at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Vegas. UFC 147 will still take place in Brazil, though White said a venue has yet to be secured. The event is scheduled to feature the rematch between Vitor Belfort and Wanderlei Silva, as well as the middleweight and featherweight finals of TUF Brazil. White said that the UFC is also working on moving Jose Aldo to that card from his UFC 149 engagement, against an opponent to be named later.

By Elias Cepeda

(U.N.’s revenge: Anderson Silva knew he shouldn’t have cozied up to John Bolton so publicly back in the late nineties)

Just over two months away from when it was supposed to happen, the year’s most anticipated MMA bout does not yet have a time and place locked in stone, according to UFC President Dana White. Middleweight champion Anderson Silva and #1 contender Chael Sonnen were supposed to square off in a rematch of their 2010 thriller at UFC 147 in Rio de Janiero on June 23rd but at Saturday’s post UFC in Sweden event press conference White revealed that a conference of the United Nations scheduled in Rio the same week may force the fight promotion to move their event.

“The problem down in Rio right now is they’re having a big United Nations convention down there, so there’s some stuff going on. We’re working through it trying to figure this whole thing out,” White said to the assembled media.

The U.N. conference was announced after the UFC first announced their intentions to hold an event in Rio on June 23rd, and will draw tens of thousands of visitors to the city, in addition to heads of state. White says that he’s essentially being told that Rio ain’t big enough for the both of the UFC and U.N.

(Chael Sonnen posing with his favorite fake belt in front of his favorite fake backdrop.)

The UFC announced this week that middleweight champion Anderson Silva‘s highly anticipated rematch with #1 contender/doper/inspirational author/felon/snitch Chael Sonnen is to take place June 23rd in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. But when our friends at MMA Fighting asked Mr. Sonnen for comment on the announcement, he claimed to have not signed a bout agreement.

“My demand has not been met…I’ve signed nothing,” he told them.

It seems likely that while his actual signing is a formality at this point, the media-savvy Sonnen is trying to add some drama and comedy to the situation. Through his twitter account, Sonnen reiterated that he had one demand that needed to be met before he signed on to fight Silva, and that he would only “declare” it to television talk show host Jim Rome.

(Fans outside the Engenhão await their national hero.)

The UFC has confirmed the date and venue for UFC 147: Silva vs. Sonnen 2, slating it for June 23rd at Estádio Olímpico João Havelange in Rio de Janeiro. Known to the locals as “Engenhão,” the multi-use stadium seats nearly 47,000 people, and is the home field for the Botafogo soccer team. Engenhão will host the athletics competitions at the 2016 Summer Olympics.

With the main-event building steam, Chael Sonnen has gotten a head-start on his trash talk, responding to Anderson Silva‘s recent claim that Chael should quit talking and start training. His latest promo clip is vintage Sonnen. Here’s a taste:

“I’m not fighting you in Brazil, I’m not fighting you in Chicago, I’m not fighting you in Florida. I’m fighting you in the Octagon. And when you get in there and I get in there, I’m gonna stomp you this time the same as I did last time. You can complain about your rib. I’m sure your rib *did* hurt. Your rib is inside of a coward. That’s the problem your rib’s got. It’s got the same problem your hands and feet have — they’re attached to *you*, dummy! I’m gonna be attached to you too, for 25 minutes or until you give up.”

Check out the video after the jump..

(Seriously, if you have any shred of humanity, you’ll “like” Roy’s Facebook page to help convince him to drop to light-heavyweight. Otherwise, be prepared for a lot more of this.)

After dispatching Roy Nelson in straight-sets during his triumphant Octagon return at UFC 143, Fabricio Werdum has his next opponent close to finalized, and once again, it’ll be against a white dude with a deceivingly husky physique. MMAFighting reports that Werdum is slated to be on the UFC’s next card in Brazil, against Mike Russow. Though the event hasn’t been officially announced yet, it is expected to take place on June 16th in Sao Paulo, and will likely be headlined by a pair of long-awaited rematches in Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen and Vitor Belfort vs. Wanderlei Silva.

Carrying a 4-0 UFC record, and producer of one of the greatest comebacks in UFC history, Russow last competed on the UFC on FOX 2 card, taking a rather uninspiring unanimous decision win over John-Olav Einemo. Werdum represents a massive step up in competition for the full-time Chicago police officer, but then again, Russow always seems to find a way to win. His last defeat came five years ago, against Sergei Kharitonov at Pride 33.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/NicktheFace2)

If you’ve never heard of NicktheFace, first of all, what’s wrong with you, and second of all, do yourself a favor right now and check out some of his body of work and then ask yourself how you enjoyed MMA without him.

Okay, that’s a bit of a stretch, but why the hell isn’t this dude working for the UFC.

The impassioned fan/highlight video master craftsman is at it again and this time the results might just be the best Anderson Silva-Chael Sonnen promo video we’ll see before they square off at UFC 147 this summer and that’s including the inevitable “fan-made” clip of Chael inserted into a clip of “American Gangster.” We’re on to you and you’re grassroots guerilla campaigns, UFC marketing department.

Anyway, there’s not a hell of a lot more we can say about this masterpiece, other than we dare you to watch it and say you aren’t looking forward to this fight. We double-dog dare you, even.

After the jump:

NTF’s Shogun vs. Hendo highlight and his Diaz-GSP promo.