11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

Tag: UFC 153

Understatement of the Day: Stephan Bonnar “F*cked Up” Taking Steroids Prior to UFC 153


(“I swear to God, you guys, I had an injury THIS BIG.” Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

It’s weird to think about, but the fallout from Stephan Bonnar’s second post-fight steroid bust at UFC 153 has almost been completely washed over by the MMA community. Although his one-year suspension was obviously negated by the fact that he retired from the sport shortly thereafter, even UFC President Dana White — who has been in Bonnar’s corner ever since his legendary fight with Forrest Griffin at the TUF 1 Finale – has all but refused to comment on the situation.

And as for Bonnar? Well, the normally outspoken light heavyweight has been similarly silent — likely due in part to the birth of his son — since exiting the UFC on such terrible terms. Until now, that is.

For the first time since the fight itself, Bonnar addressed the factors that led him to get popped for Drostanolone following UFC 153 during an interview on The MMA Hour (Author’s note: WHAT ABOUT US, STEPHAN?). Although Stephan took full responsibility for his actions, his reasoning for why he fell back on the juice yet again didn’t exactly absolve him of all guilt (via MMAFighting):

…after being shelved for months and being advised to retire by UFC president Dana White, he had given up hope of closing out his career with a major fight…But then, out of the blue, the semi-retired fighter got the phone call he never thought was coming. After about 10 months without a fight, he was being asked to compete against the the sport’s pound-for-pound king, Anderson Silva.

Believe it or not, there are some therapeutic uses to some of the banned substances,” he said. “Bottom line, I wanted to get my strength back. I was very weak. My body didn’t feel good, my joints didn’t feel good. That was my goal.

Poor Stephan; the dude spent upwards of seven years fighting for the UFC and never realized that there was a completely legal way to deal with the aging process.

More from the interview after the jump. 

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Fabio Maldonado Receives Sizable Bonus Check for Getting Beat Up at UFC 153


Geez, these XARM events have been getting weird…

It can be argued that no losing fighter has ever deserved one of UFC’s famous locker-room bonus checks than Fabio Maldonado after his downright terrifying loss to Glover Teixeira at UFC 153.

If this was professional wrestling, we’d say this was the fight that got Glover “over” in the UFC. The brutal asskicking that Teixeira dished out transitioned him from MMA’s best-kept secret to a legitimate light-heavyweight contender, causing fans throughout the world to say “Huh, so that’s what a 10-7 round looks like.”

Yet Fabio Maldonado kept fighting back, almost pulling off one of the most insane comebacks in UFC history as he rocked Teixeira near the end of the first round. Maldonado kept coming back for more until the cageside doctor put an end to the fight after the second round. I’m not going to write something cheesy like “it was a moral victory for Fabio Maldonado,” but I would understand why a person would.

The beating that Fabio Maldonado took wasn’t for nothing – at least not financially. Maldonado revealed on his Facebook page that he recently received one of the UFC’s famed locker-room bonus checks, and it was worth more money than his win bonus would have been. Via MMAWeekly:

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Stephan Bonnar Suspended for One Year Following Failed UFC 153 Drug Test, Dave Herman to Receive Much Weirder Punishment


(Unfortunately for him, Bonnar’s sad puppy face failed to inspire any sympathy.) 

Not that it really matters given his retirement from the sport and all, but according to the UFC’s VP of regulatory affairs, Marc Ratner, the verdict has already been turned in for Stephan Bonnar, who pissed hot after his UFC 153 loss to Anderson Silva. “The American Psycho” will receive a one year suspension as a result of his positive test for Drostanolone. But again, being that Bonnar pulled a Richard Nixon and got the fuck out of office — thereby negating the weight of all possible punishments — we’re sure he won’t be planning on putting up much of a fight. The fact that he has yet to even make a statement regarding his test further solidifies this theory.

But here’s where things get interesting.

Also according to Ratner, the punishment in the case of Dave Herman‘s second failed test for marijuana will not only be a suspension of “months,” but could require him to enter a rehab facility as well.

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Breaking: Stephan Bonnar and Dave Herman Fail UFC 153 Drug Tests


(…but damn, did he look good doing it.)

As first reported by MMAJunkie, Stephan Bonnar and Dave Herman both tested positive for banned substances in their UFC 153 post-fight drug screenings. With no athletic commission in place in Brazil, the UFC independently tested all 24 fighters who competed at the October 13th card at Rio de Janeiro’s HSBC Arena — and unfortunately nailed a pair of repeat offenders.

Bonnar, who announced his retirement from MMA earlier this week, tested positive for the anabolic steroid Drostanolone following his TKO loss to Anderson Silva in UFC 153′s main event. It is the second steroid bust for Bonnar, who was suspended for nine months after popping positive for Boldenone in 2006. Now that Bonnar is retired from the sport, a suspension won’t be much of a punishment, though it certainly puts a black mark on the end of a crowd-pleasing career inside the Octagon. (Conspiracy theory time: Bonnar knew he’d be retiring after the Silva fight, and he simply didn’t give a fuck.)

As for the one they call Pee Wee…

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UFC 153 Pay-Per-View Buys Confirm That Squash Matches Are Totally Hot Right Now


(We’re sorry, Stephan, but unless those things are actual guns, you’re getting your ass kicked tonight.) 

In the days leading up to UFC 153, many of you (and by you, we mean the entire MMA Interwebz) had some less than favorable things to say about the pairing of Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva. As if the bookies hadn’t told us all we needed to know, the general consensus among fans seemed to be the evening’s main event was a “travesty, a sham, and a mockery” that “blasphemed the great sport of MMA” and was a “completely meaningless squash match” whose “insulting pairing” would be reflected in “the abysmal pay-per-view numbers it receives.” And those were the favorable comments.

But for every fifteen of you complaining, there were apparently five or more of you who were forced to stifle your true excitement over this matchup like a pedo at a tee-ball game, because if the early numbers are any indication, squash matches featuring unstoppable killing machines are the new superfights. According to several reports, the pay-per-view numbers for UFC 153 are in the range of 340,00 to 410,000 buys. These numbers not only exceeded expectation, but are not that far below September’s squash match of the month featuring Jon Jones and Vitor Belfort, which managed to clear over 450,000 buys despite having those little guys that no one cares about fighting in the night’s co-main event.

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By the Way, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira Kicked Dave Herman’s Ass With a Broken Rib


(“You know what else doesn’t work on me? Left hooks to the fa-DAMN IT!” / Photo via Inovafoto)

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira is the oldest 36-year-old in the history of humanity. And while he came into his UFC 153 fight against Dave Herman as a more-than 2-1 favorite, he didn’t inspire much confidence at the weigh-ins, where he dragged his way up to the stage, shook Arianny Celeste‘s hand (perhaps mistaking her for Burt Watson?), used his brother to brace himself while taking off his wind pants, removed his shirt to reveal a noticeably soft midsection, then limped his way to the staredown.

As it turns out, there’s a reason why Big Nog may have looked even more decrepit than usual that weekend (via MMAConvert):

Former interim UFC heavyweight champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira fought Dave Herman at UFC 153 with a fractured rib. Nogueira suffered the injury a week into training for the short notice bout with Herman in Brazil. “Fractured my rib three weeks ago on my right side,” said Nogueira, in an interview with SporTV. “I went to the doctor, took a local anesthetic to be able to train.”

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Photos of the Day: The Nogueira’s and Anderson Silva Visit Fabio Maldonado in the Hospital


(“You got punched where? And by who? I’m not sure I understand.”) 

If anything, UFC 153 provided us with several entertaining moments to confirm what we already knew, or at least hoped, to be true:

1. This Anderson Silva guy is for real.
2. This Glover Texmexamerica guy is also for real. Look out Page.
3. Jon Fitch is in fact capable of entertaining a crowd. (fight it….fight it…)
4. This Jiu Jitsu stuff works.
5. Fabio Maldanado is the closest thing to a zombie this earth may ever witness.

That last lesson came at a price that Maldanado will likely pay down the line in terms of brain function, but who needs brains when you have to special order your underwear to hold your massive balls? And if there’s any country out there that appreciates as gritty a performance as Maldonado gave on Saturday, it’s Brazil. And while they rallied around fellow Brazilian Glover Teixeira’s solid performance against Maldonado, they were quick to support their fallen comrade as well.

So in an effort to support Maldonado’s incredible display of heart, fellow UFC 153 participants/Brazilians Anderson Silva and Antonio Nogueira (along with Lil Nog) paid Maldonado a visit in the hospital. Tears were spilled, laughs were shared, and we’re pretty sure at least one of them fired up the grill, so check out the pair of photos and let us know who you’d like to see Maldonado fight next now that his UFC future is safe for the moment.

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Suddenly Back in Fighting Mode, Rampage Jackson Calls Out Glover Teixeira


(Heading into his bout at UFC 144, Jackson found strength in the words of his former Shaolin master: “Ret ra rage fro froo you.” Ten minutes later, this happened.)

Rampage Jackson’s ongoing feud with the UFC — which we feel so far removed from that we’ve all but completely forgotten what started it in the first place (money? boring fights? stank bref?) — has clearly taken a toll on both his popularity and his fighting career over the years, as Twitter rants and rape videos are wont to do. After getting submitted by Jon Jones at UFC 135, Jackson showed up heavy, then got wrestlefucked by Ryan Bader when we last saw him, in a performance that would quickly be out-shined (not in a good way) by his hilariously awkward foray into the Japanese hip hop scene later that evening. Needless to say, it appeared as if the power-bombing, Liddell era-ending Rampage we all came to know and love was but a distant memory.

Jackson was then expected to finally bid the UFC adieu at last weekend’s UFC 153 event against Brazilian slugger Glover Teixeira, but then yada yada yada he got injured. Teixeira would go on to beat the ever-loving dogshit out of Fabio Maldonado, whereas Jackson would go on to eat the ever loving shit out of some chili cheese FRITOS. But after consuming those heavenly bits of artificially flavored corn and realizing that Teixeira was in fact a legitimate opponent to build his post-UFC resume on, Jackson quickly doubled back on his “I don’t care who I fight anymore” mentality and proceeded to call Teixeira out on Twitter:

Yo @danawhite set up that fight with Glover please! Lets give him what he wants..fans I won’t let u down #fightofthenight

Dana White quickly responded with “sounds good bro,” which basically means that this thing is a done deal. Basically.

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UFC 153 Fight-Picking Contest: And the ‘Blacktalians’ T-Shirt Goes To…


(Buy it here.)

On Saturday night at UFC 153, Anderson Silva TKO’d Stephan Bonnar with a knee to the solar plexus that briefly paralyzed him, followed by some punches on the ground. The fight was called at 4:40 of round 1, which means…TOPDOG, YOU ARE OUR WINNER. The Dog’s prediction of “Anderson Silva def. Stephan Bonner via TKO (strikes) @ :23 seconds left in Rd. 1” — though strange in its syntax — came closest to the fight’s actual result, which means he gets the Blacktalians t-shirt, as promised. So Topdog, please e-mail contest@cagepotato.com with your real name, address, and shirt size, and we’ll get it sent out ASAP. The rest of you can get the shirt the old-fashioned way. Props to Longo/Serra MMA and East Coast MMA Fight Shop for the hookup.

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UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar Aftermath: Living in the Matrix


Props: mmafanmade.tumblr.com

By George Shunick

If there’s a word that sums up UFC 153, it’s got to be “wow”. Anderson Silva gave another performance indicating that we do indeed live in the Matrix. Jon Fitch was in the most exciting fight of the night, and one of the best of the year. Big Nog submitted a man impervious to jiu-jitsu. Demian Maia choked/neck-cranked a man so hard he had a mini-hemorrhage and blood spurted out of his nose. And perhaps most impressive of all, Wagner Prado actually stopped a hat thief.

The bottom line is UFC 153 was an amazing card that delivered from top to bottom. Could it have been better if it had Frankie Edgar square off against Jose Aldo? Probably. But I’ll take another transcendental show from Anderson Silva any day of the week. And that’s exactly what his fight with Stephan Bonnar was. After a slip, Bonnar pressed Silva into the cage, presumably looking to wear the smaller fighter down. Silva wasn’t having any of it, offering a few knees, shoulder shrugs and nothing else. Bonnar backed away and then things got weird. Silva remained on the fence, hands down, encouraging Bonnar to hit him.

Now, I know Stephan Bonnar isn’t the world’s greatest striker. He’s never shown serious knockout power, and his technique has never been the best. But he’s still a 230 pound man who’s spent the majority of his adult life learning how to hurt people. He’s a professional fighter. And for about 4 minutes and 40 seconds last night, those facts didn’t amount to jack shit. Silva dodged, deflected or simply absorbed Bonnar’s offense for about two minutes, demonstrating what a black belt in Tae Kwon Do is worth against a man who seems to know what you’re going to do before you do. Then, Silva decided to end the fight. He tripped Bonnar, established some separation, and then connected with a debilitating, pin-point knee to the solar plexus. Bonnar – who had never been stopped with strikes before – collapsed and waited for the end to come. Mercifully, it did.

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