(Where did Brittney Palmer, Arianny Celeste, and Kenda Perez land on the 2013 Maxim Hot 100 list? Find out right here. / Photo via Maxim.com)

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(Also temporary? Pettis’ time as a Cake Boss Intern.) 

It is no understatement to say that the upcoming featherweight title fight between Anthony Pettis and Jose Aldo has divided, confused, and outright angered many fans of the sport. It’s a fight that is all but guaranteed to wind up on your best-of-the-year list, sure, but it’s also Pettis’ first fight at featherweight, as well as Aldo’s second straight title defense against a guy who built his reputation in an entirely different weight class. It’s at this point that we’d normally reference Chael Sonnen vs. Jon Jones, the baffling randomness at which title shots are being handed out, the fragility of human life, etc. But we’re tired, you guys. Damn tired…*cries into shot glass* *drinks own tears*

And now, adding to the confusion is none other than Pettis himself, who recently stated in an interview with The NY Post that his drop to featherweight “isn’t permanent.” Uh….the fuck?

A lot of things led to my cutting down to 145. I was tired of waiting for a 155 pound title shot. 

It’s not a permanent weight cut (to featherweight). But a striker like myself and Aldo, it doesn’t really matter what weight class it happens at. It’s going to be fireworks either way. 

(CUUUUURSSSSEE YOOOOUUUU JOOOOEEEE SILLLVVVVAA!!!)

Far be it from us to accuse UFC matchmaker and noted “mean little f*cker” Joe Silva of phoning it in, but when rumors started to circulate that former middleweight title challenger and reborn welterweight Demian Maia would be facing former welterweight title challenger Josh Koscheck, we balked at the idea. Balked I tell you! Sure, Koscheck’s a seasoned veteran, perennial contender, and world-renowned motorboater, but in what universe does it make sense to have a guy on a two-fight losing skid fight a guy on a three-fight winning streak? This one, apparently.

Brazilian outlet NewsMMA was the first to report the matchup, which has since been confirmed by both fighters Sherdog pages.

Like we said, we were quick to dismiss the notion of this pairing…at first. But then we got to thinking: What possible motivation could the UFC have for booking this fight? And then, it all became so clear. The UFC is severing its ties with Josh Koscheck. 

Don’t buy it? Well, let’s just take a little trip down memory lane, shall we?

(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

Earlier this month, Nick Diaz‘s lawyer stated that the Anti-Bullshit Superhero would remain retired unless he was offered a rematch with Georges St. Pierre or an even-more undeserved middleweight title shot against Anderson Silva — heartbreaking news, really. But if there’s any MMA fighter who’s likely to violate our MMA fighters retiring then immediately un-retiring ban, it’s Nick. For all of his complaints about being disrespected by his opponents and getting paid too much but not enough, fighting is in Diaz’s blood, which is a nice way of saying that he has absolutely no other marketable skills and will probably need to come back at some point to earn a living.

So forget those silly retirement threats, and let’s talk about reality — who will Nick actually fight next, assuming that the UFC wouldn’t book Diaz vs. GSP II or Diaz vs. Silva unless they were absolutely desperate. How about Demian Maia, the BJJ whiz who has successfully reinvented his career as a welterweight? Maia’s three-round domination of Jon Fitch at UFC 156 placed him in the top-tier of the 170-pound division, and according to a report from Ariel Helwani on last night’s edition of UFC Tonight, Maia wants to face Nick Diaz in his next appearance, preferably on the August 3rd Aldo vs. Pettis card in Rio.

(The loyalty of your fellow Brazilians doesn’t mean shit when you’ve grabbed the last Giga Pet off the shelf on Black Friday. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)

Well alright, alright, alright, it looks like the UFC will be returning to the motherland yet again in 2013.

After initially refusing to fight lightweight contender Anthony Pettis, then requesting that the fight be held at a catchweight (sound familiar, Andy?), it was announced a couple weeks ago that featherweight champion Jose Aldo would in fact be fighting Pettis for the featherweight title at an event and location TBD. If Aldo was victorious, however, he would receive the next shot at the winner of the Ben Henderson/Gil Melendez lightweight title fight on April 20th. Brazilians, man. They treat their belts like Sauron’s Ring.

In either case, it is being passed around that both an event and location have been named for the upcoming “superfight,” which is apparently what we’re calling it now: UFC 163, at the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Because of course Brazil.

No other fights have been announced for the event, but it might interest you to know that Aldo is currently resting at a very modest -155 favorite over Pettis at 5Dimes. So, do whatever you want with that bit of info.

So…how about this new pope business?

-J. Jones