(Palelei puts a twelve-second beating on Bob Sapp, then visibly regrets accepting the fight in the first place.) 

Way back in 2007, a towering Australian slugger by the name of Soa Palelei made his UFC debut at UFC 79: Nemesis. In what would turn out to be Palelei’s lone appearance in the organization, the Aussie engaged in a tepid, horrendously sloppy clinchfest with fellow future-castaway Eddie Sanchez. It was easily the worst fight of the night — marred by long stretches of inactivity, a pair of low blows, and an equally anticlimactic ending in which Soa basically called it quits due to some swelling around his eye — and ranked among the worst of the year.

Sanchez, having narrowly avoided being fired by virtue of winning the fight, would lose his next two fights before receiving a mercy execution from the promotion. Palelei, on the other hand, would not be given a second shot in the UFC (perhaps rightfully so) and would spend the next five years compiling a 10-1 record in the hopes that he could someday earn a chance at redemption and Zuffa glory.

Well, according to Palelei’s management team (Paradigm Sports Management), the heavyweight KO artist will finally be given that chance, as he has inked a four-fight deal with the UFC. Palelei stated the following in an official press release that was sent out yesterday:

I’m thankful to Dana White and Joe Silva for giving me this opportunity to come back to the UFC to showcase my skills. With determination, hard work and a great team, I’m happy to say that today I have signed with the UFC. I look forward to competing in the best organization in the world. 

(Come to think of it, we’d watch this again.) 

Perhaps Melvin Guillard has made some DRASTIC improvements to his ground game since joining up with the Blackzilians, or perhaps he simply has some sort of autoerotic asphyxiation fetish, because the hard hitting lightweight recently told MMA Weekly that he wants his next fight to be a rematch against Joe Lauzon, whom you may recall, dropped Guillard and finished him with a rear-naked choke in just under 50 seconds of their UFC 136 bout. According to Guillard, the loss is the only in his career that he felt he truly should have won. Here’s what “The Young Assassin” had to say:

In the 10 losses I have in my MMA career, I haven’t rematched anyone I’ve lost to. Not once, I’ve never really cared for rematches because I felt they won, now I’ll move on. Right now, I’m at the point where this fight means something to me, I have something to prove against Joe Lauzon, so this is a rematch I’m asking for. Right now, I’m looking to watch the fights in Japan and I’m praying that he loses to (Anthony) Pettis because I want a rematch against Joe Lauzon. I don’t want to fight nobody next but Joe Lauzon. I don’t even care how it goes, I just want to see Pettis win and I want an immediate rematch with Joe Lauzon. Hopefully, I can get that rematch by fourth of July in Vegas.

Join us after the jump for a few more interesting musings from Guillard’s interview.

For those of you still holding your breath since UFC 79, you can finally take that breath of cigarette smoke-filled oxygen. Not that it’s a slow news day or anything, but the Nevada State Athletic Commission has assured the world that every fighter that was tested for the December 29th PPV event was clean. By clean, they mean of any banned substances – performance enhancers and mood enhancers alike (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Yo to MMA Weekly for digging this up:

According to the commission’s executive director Keith Kizer, “The NSAC tested Georges St. Pierre, Matt Hughes, Chuck Liddell, Wanderlei Silva, Lyoto Machida, Sokoudjou, Rich Clementi, Melvin Guillard, Manny Gamburyan, Dean Lister, Jordan Radev, and Mark Bocek.”

Kizer also confirmed that all of the athletes on a privately held show at the Riviera Hotel & Casino on Jan. 8 were cleared of performance enhancing substances. “All the steroid tests are back for the Jan. 8 show and they were all negative.”

This ‘private event’ on the 8th certainly sounds too official to have been a bachelor party that turned into a fight night. They released the names of the fighters, which include: Jesse Forbes, Victor Moreno, Jacob McClintock, Chris Kennedy, Robert Scott, and Steve Steinbeiss. However, the NSAC may have blown their load a bit early as tests for the good stuff mood altering drugs are still up in the air for the fighters from the Riviera event.

Answering yesterday’s call for first-hand stories about the UFC 79 viewing party at Madison Square Garden, a CagePotato reader named Serafin wrote in with the following:

“I was at the MSG show for UFC 79. I gotta say that although the place was empty as sh*t, the crowd that was there (guessing about 700 at most and that can be a bit generous as I don’t know for sure what the numbers were) was hyped up at seeing Matt Serra and Forrest Griffin. Everybody seemed to have enjoyed themselves and were badgering all the fighters with questions about when the UFC is going to do a show at The Garden. A lot of people just dont seem to understand the politics and craptastic attempts of the NY State Athletic Comission to keep MMA out of this part of the northeast. Funny, cause when you really look at things….Jersey has been having shows for quite a while and it’s where we got a chance to see Frankie Ed…..ok I take that back. Not a great point but a point nonetheless.”

So to summarize: Good times, but even less-attended than earlier reports suggesting that 1,000 people would show up. Damn, with those numbers they should have just reserved a block of tables at ESPN Zone and held the party there. Anyway, big ups to Serafin. If you have any follow-up questions, leave ‘em in the comments section and we’ll try to squeeze more info out of the dude.

NBCSports’ Mike Chiappetta reports that Matt Serra and Georges St. Pierre will meet again in April. The welterweight match-up will be about a year after GSP lost to the now inflated Serra. As you may recall, Serra was to defend his belt against Matt Hughes at the recent UFC 79, but had to drop out due to injury. GSP promptly jumped at the chance to take on Hughes for a third time, beating him easily for the interim (aka, bullshit) welterweight title. Serra said his back is getting better and he’ll be ready in April.

The April event – possibly to be on the 19th – will be in Montreal, the first UFC event to be held in Canada.

Dana White, Joe Rogan, BJ Penn, Joe Stevenson, and Gabriel Gonzaga get us hyped for UFC 80:

(Props: MMA Fever)

Manny Gamburyan performing the leg lock that blew-out Nate Mohr’s knee at UFC 79:

And finally, here’s Japanese MMA star Genki “Neo-Samurai” Sudo competing on the Most Extreme Elimination Challenge-esque TV show Ninja Warrior. So close!

(Props: Bloody Elbow)

MMAJunkie has obtained salary figures for UFC 79′s fighters. The numbers are below; keep in mind that every winning fighter’s figure represents a doubling of their base salary, except for Chuck Liddell, who apparently earns half a million dollars per fight no matter what the outcome is.

MAIN CARD
Georges St. Pierre ($160,000 + $50,000 “Submission of the Night” bonus) def. Matt Hughes ($100,000)

Chuck Liddell ($500,000) def. Wanderlei Silva ($150,000) — both fighters received an additional $50,000 “Fight of the Night” bonus

Eddie Sanchez ($46,000 + $50,000 “Knockout of the Night” bonus) def. Soa Palelei ($5,000)

Lyoto Machida ($60,000) def. Rameau Sokoudjou ($40,000)

Rich Clementi ($28,000) def. Melvin Guillard ($10,000)

Chuck Liddell will definitely be having “caviar dreams” when Wandy puts him down for a nap tomorrow night.

Wanderlei Silva, in a rare moment of tenderness.

“Wha, you don’ like to relax een a nice bubble-bat’ wit’ a glass of Cabernet and a sexy romance book?”

…but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole!

We’ve only mentioned it briefly before, but you’re probably aware that the UFC is holding a “Nemesis” viewing party tomorrow night at Madison Square Garden, hosted by Matt Serra and featuring appearances by Forrest Griffin and Kenny Florian. Well, things aren’t looking too promising, attendance-wise. It was reported that as of the beginning of this week, only 1,000 of the arena’s 20,000 seats had been sold for the event. Apparently, New York’s fans would rather watch UFC 79 in the comfort of their own homes than have $7 beers spilled on them by loudmouthed idiots. (I know, I don’t understand it either…)

So what does the UFC do to generate some last-minute interest in their party? That’s right — they bring out the big guns. Yesterday, Thomas Gerbasi reported that lightweight sorta-contender Frankie Edgar has been tapped to show up at the Garden, where he will likely take part in the Q&A session before the live broadcast lights up the jumbotrons. In other words, just like at any other NYC hotspot on a Saturday night, both Long Island and New Jersey WILL BE IN FULL FORCE BITCHES!

So, here’s something I’ve noticed while going through the massive pile-up of previews and miscellaneous hype for tomorrow’s UFC 79: Both Chuck Liddell and Wanderlei Silva are convinced that they’re going to win. Which is totally strange, right? Because technically one of them has to lose. But it’s like…ah fuck, I just lost my train of thought.

Anyway, here are two more “Nemesis”-related videos, because you should be thinking about nothing else until tomorrow night. First off, Chuck Liddell’s appearance on ESPN’s Hot List yesterday: There’s nothing you haven’t heard him say before, but it’s worth it just for the moment at the 4:58-remaining mark where Chuck is clearly struggling to remember where he is and why the man in the suit is asking him questions. Still, it’s nowhere near the worst interview that the Iceman has done; whatever the cough syrup equivalent to methadone is, it seems to be working.

And then we have a segment from RawVegasTV, where Stephan Bonnar, Arianny Celeste, and professional BMX rider T.J. Lavin discuss their predictions for UFC 79 — or as the screen graphic calls them, “FIGTH PICKS.” (Speaking of typos, MMAFightline has an awesome one today.) Not sure what makes Lavin qualified to be on the panel — it surely isn’t the energy he brings to the discussion — but the gang gives a unanimous nod to Liddell and St. Pierre, and splits on Sokoudjou/Machida.

Just because every MMA blog has to make an official prediction, we’ll stand by our earlier claim and say that Sokoudjou, Silva and (the long-shot pick) Hughes are going home with victories tomorrow night. That’s right — the option we picked in the current CagePotato poll is sitting comfortably in last place. But we’re prepared to go 0-3, because honestly, who knows?

“Matt Serra’s condition improved greatly over the past week. The week before he was in intense pain. This week he was still having trouble walking. While watching a training session, he almost considered going to the mat to demonstrate a technique, but then decided it probably wouldn’t be the smartest thing. He hasn’t been able to do any training and is probably more than 200 pounds.”

As you recall, Serra had some pretty extensive damage done to his back while training to step into the cage with Matt Hughes at UFC 79: Nemesis on December 29th. He’s now slated to meet the fighter who walks away with the win when Hughes meets Georges St. Pierre in the replacement match. This was supposed to go down in 2008, but with Serra ballooned up to 200+, we’re not looking for it to happen too early in the new year. Coming back from an injury like that is tough enough, but Dude, push yourself away from the dinner table after your 5th helping of yams. Yeah, we understand the way you guys fluctuate in weight and we’re not claiming to be training experts. What we do know is we want to see your next fight as soon as possible, so lay off the cheesecake and grab a diet soda. You’ve got LBs to shed.

UFC 79: Nemesis fighters will suck in their guts for their official weigh-in this Friday, December 28 at 7 pm (EST). It’ll go down at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas and is free to attend if you happen to be in Sin City. If you want to check it out on-line, you can watch it live at UFC.com, Yahoo!Sports.com, FOXSports.com and NBCSports.com.

Bodoglife

• Chuck Liddell (-105) vs. Wanderlei Silva (-125)
• Georges St. Pierre (-240) vs. Matt Hughes (+190)
• Ryoto Machida (-125) vs. Sokoudjou (-105)
• Melvin Guillard (-260) vs. Rich Clementi (+200)

BetUS

To get yourself good and educated about the whole process, MMA Betting Blog and MMA Junkie has some good info.

The supa-foxy Joanne of MMA Girls — star of the ever-popular “how to pass guard” video — has released a new video of her predictions for UFC 79:

Wow…I’d watch this girl predict the results of a dog show. (And yes, put me down for five of those adorable little teddy bears!) Still, I disagree with Joanne’s claim that the Hughes/GSP match will go the same as the last one. I don’t see Hughes getting caught with a head-kick again, and he’s been preparing for a fight for the better part of a year, while GSP took the match on a month’s notice. But yeah, Silva, Sokoudjou and Clementi do seem headed for victories (I’ve never seen Soa Palelei or Eddie “The Manic Hispanic” Sanchez fight, so I won’t make a call one way or the other). Any disagreements, take it up with the comments section…

For all the attention we’ve been giving to the Danzig/Speer matchup at Saturday’s TUF Finale, we haven’t shown much love to the Roger Huerta (19-1-1, 5-0 UFC) vs. Clay Guida (22-8-0, 2-2 UFC) lightweight bout that’s actually headlining the card. Many fans have been questioning Huerta’s impressive record, arguing that the UFC has given him easy matchups to protect its Hispanic poster-boy. But as tough as Clay Guida is, he has trouble finishing fights, and it’s not like he’s been tested by the best either; he’s certainly lost to talented fighters, but he hasn’t really beaten any. Personally, I think the Guida love among fans is a little unwarranted (maybe they just want to see him destroy something beautiful). I’m going to pick Huerta in a unanimous decision. But hey, feel free to come to your own conclusions. You can start by watching this clip from the UFC 79 press conference, then Huerta and Guida’s most recent fights…

(Roger Huerta vs. Alberto Crane, UFC 74, 8/25/07)

Click here to download Clay Guida/Marcus Aurelio at UFC 74 (221 MB), courtesy of MMALinker.

— Audio from yesterday’s UFC conference call with Matt Hughes, Georges St. Pierre and Dana White is at the OC Register. Hughes said he would have much rather faced Serra “because of all the built up anger.” Dana White still hasn’t met with Randy Couture to discuss Couture’s future with the UFC.

— According to MMA Payout, the S&P downgraded Zuffa‘s credit rating from BB to BB- today, due to a “weaker than expected performance in the third quarter, marking the second consecutive disappointing quarter.” BB ratings indicate “Bonds with speculative fundamentals. The security of future payments is only moderate.”

— Newly formed Japanese MMA promotional outfit World Victory Road, Inc. announced its first event, “Sengoku,” which will take place in Tokyo on March 5th, 2008, and will feature Hidehiko Yoshida, Sanae Kikuta, Makoto Takimoto, and Ryo Kawamura. More info can be found at Suki MMA.

— UFC 81 has been named “Breaking Point.”

— Chuck Liddell wants you to join his cute little social networking site.

Though some MMA fans are ragging on the UFC 78 lineup for having a weak main event*, UFC 79 looks like it’ll make up for that starless night like a motherfucker. How stacked is this card (aka “Nemesis”)? Well, we already knew about the Serra vs. Hughes grudge match**, and the historic light heavyweight meeting between Chuck Liddell and PRIDE legend Wanderlei Silva. But yesterday, Bubba the Love Sponge (I know, bear with me) reported that Dan Henderson may be fighting in December — and at middleweight (a wise move after his loss to Quinton Jackson in his UFC debut). What this means is: 1) Nemesis has the potential to be one of the greatest UFC cards of all time, and 2) With PRIDE now absorbed into the UFC, it’s all becoming one big Circle of Life (no, I will not link to that Elton John/Lion King video). Let’s run down the timeline…

12/9/00: Wanderlei Silva beats Dan Henderson (unan. dec., PRIDE 12)

11/9/03: Quinton Jackson beats Chuck Liddell (corner stoppage TKO, PRIDE Final Conflict middleweight semi-finals)

11/9/03: Wanderlei Silva beats Quinton Jackson (strikes TKO, PRIDE Final Conflict middleweight finals)

10/31/04: Wanderlei Silva beats Quinton Jackson for the second time (KO by knee, PRIDE 28)

2/24/07: Dan Henderson beats Wanderlei Silva to win the PRIDE middleweight title (KO by punch, PRIDE 33)

5/26/07: Quinton Jackson beats Chuck Liddell for the second time to win UFC light heavyweight title (strikes TKO, UFC 71)

9/8/07: Quinton Jackson beats Dan Henderson to retain UFC light heavyweight title (unan. dec., UFC 75)

So from these fights, it could be inferred that Silva > Jackson > Henderson > Liddell. What we really need to see, therefore, is a re-rematch between Silva and Jackson, to determine if Rampage really deserves his UFC belt. Hopefully Dana White can make that happen if Wanderlei can give “Mr. Rock Star Lifestyle” his third-straight loss.

* For the record, I’m psyched for Bisping/Evans, and all you Count-haters can suck my eggs.
** I see this one going the same way as Ortiz/Shamrock after TUF 3, with the frustrated hothead coach so frustrated and hotheaded that he can’t fight properly in the Octogon — Serra for shocking upset #2.