UFC 80

(From ESPN via BloodyElbow)

Holy, freakin', crap. Looks like we already have a top contender for this year's "10 Best MMA Photos" list.

By the way, Joe wants you to know that he was totally not crying at the end of that fight.

(Props to Fightlinker for the zoom on Stevenson's red geyser.)

Joe Stevenson recently chatted with FightHype about his uber-bloody loss (via submission to BJ Penn) at last weekend's UFC 80. When asked how he thought he did, Joe Daddy had this to say:

I think I did good. I just got cut. I think it was getting better and better for me and sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you.

Or sometimes the bear just kicks your ass. And shame on all of you who thought Joe Daddy was crying like Bob Sapp after the loss. Here's what he has to say to you:

I saw the tape and it looked like I was crying, but I had something in my eye...my blood (laughing).

I know every time something gets in my eye, I look like an eight-year-old who just witnessed his dog getting hit by a car. Come on! Admit you were crying! We believe you weren't crying as much as we believe when you said the elbow from BJ "didn't hurt".

Regardless if he's a crier or not, Joe Daddy seems to have gained even more fans and support on the MMA message boards since his showing against "The Prodigy". Frank Trigg has even said Joe Daddy is the second best lightweight after Penn. Thanks for weighing-in "Twinkle Toes", you've obviously been swimming in bourbon.

If you missed Saturday's play-by-play, click here.

Jorge Rivera steamrolls Kendall Grove.

Marcus Davis's phantom knockout punch coma-tizes Jess Liaudin.

Colin Robinson goes up against Antoni Hardonk, gets life saved by Mario Yamasaki, whines like an asshole.

On an unrelated note, I'd like to take this opportunity to rag on the UFC for leaving all ring-card-holding duties to Arianny and Edith. If we have to put up with the one-dimensional antics of local scrappers like Paul Taylor, Paul Kelly, and Colin Robinson, could the UFC have maybe found some hot British chicks to step in as guest Octagon Girls? Just a thought. I got a million of 'em.

Ending in one of UFC 80's six KO/TKOs, the fight between light heavys Alessio Sakara and James Lee was by far the stupidest match of the night, with Lee's relentless pursuit of Sakara's leg actually drawing laughs from the crowd. We predicted this one to end with Lee submitting Sakara, but we didn't plan on Lee throwing out his back. Slapstick comedy ensued. Check it out before the UFC goes on its inevitable video-pulling spree.

(Paul Taylor bashes Paul Kelly during their "Fight of the Night.")

Things are tough all over, I guess. The UFC released its customary bonuses after UFC 80, but each one was only $35,000, a full $20,000 less than the bonuses handed out after UFC 79. This is the first time we can recall that the bonuses actually went down from one event to the next. We knew European expansion was a bitch, financially speaking, but it's unfortunate that the fighters had to tighten their belts to recoup some of the costs. Anyway, here's who got the extra cash:

Fight of the Night: Paul Kelly and Paul Taylor. Each Brit got $35k, primarily for the insane brawl that kicked off the first round; after that, it was fairly dull GnP domination from Paul Kelly, who won a unanimous decision.

Knockout of the Night: Wilson Gouveia earned $35k for his out-of-nowhere comeback blast of Jason Lambert.

Submission of the Night: B.J. Penn collected $35k by default for his rear-naked-choke of Joe Stevenson, UFC 80's only tap-out.

Thus, I went 1-3 in my predictions. And commenter MattyLight owes commenter Olie $5. (Sorry buddy!) Feel free to work out the exchange in the comments section.