Seasons Greetings From Cagepotato.com – Watch more Funny Videos
(Back by popular demand. Who says you can’t have Christmas in April?)

First of all, let me start by assuring everyone that I am not leaving Cage Potato to fight Anderson Silva, manage the utterly hopeless Dave Farra, work for the UFC, or begin a prison jolt (my mom asked me to be very specific about debunking that one). Instead, I am leaving to take a job with AOL’s MMAFighting.com, which is where you’ll find my work beginning next week.  Hope to see you there.

Second, I’m overwhelmed by the appreciation and support from you guys – even the sort of mean appreciation and support – and I can’t thank you all enough. That said, don’t act like this is a death blow to this site. Half the hilarious stuff you guys have attributed to me was written by Ben Goldstein, who was holding it down well before I came on board, and I happen to know that a very capable replacement has been chosen who will keep CP fully stocked in LOLs long after I’m gone.

Now, on to your petty questions.

I guess my question is WHY, oh WHY ARE YOU LEAVING US?

– LargeMidget

Because I hate you. And I mean you, personally, LargeMidget. Okay, not really. I just strongly dislike you. The real reason I’m leaving is because, after two years, I feel like doing something a little different. It’s been great writing for the Potato, and I’ve enjoyed the hell out of it, but it feels like it’s time to move on and try something else. That’s all.

(Legend has it that at the exact time the fight re-aired Randy Couture complained of a bizarre pain in his facial region.)

The UFC’s most recent counter-programming effort – a replay of UFC 91 free on Spike TV during this weekend’s Affliction: Day of Reckoning event – apparently did pretty well with its target demographic, according to a Spike TV press release.  The replay peaked with 3.3 million viewers, making it “the highest rated show among Men 18-34 in all of television (broadcast or cable) in its timeslot.”  

Okay, that’s a lot of conditional phrases.  It’s like us claiming to be the most popular website with the word “potato” in the name (so take that PotatoBlossom.org) that is also run by two guys named Ben.  See?  Not that impressive when you put it like that.  Although we are the ones lending a hand to New York MMA fans with our “lift the ban” petition, so give us some credit.

On the whole, the 2.5-hour event averaged 2.3 million viewers, according to Spike, "easily making UFC 91 the most-watched taped UFC event in network history."

Again, more conditionals, but the point is that even if you don’t think the UFC’s event replays work as effective counter-programming to hurt their competitors, they still reach millions of people and are the best thing Spike TV has going for it on any given Saturday night.  Sorry, “Manswers” fans, but it’s true.

(‘You like what you see, yes?’)

It’s time again to raid our forums and answer your deepest questions.  This time around, we cover everything from fighter rankings to how to get into Affliction: Day of Reckoning on the cheap.  You shiftless no-accounts. 

If you have a question of your own head on over to the official Ask the Potato thread and we’ll deal with you in turn. 

Last time Affliction: Banned had a barn burning sale on tickets the day of the event, As someone who lives under an hour from the Honda center and a fan of seeing Fedor live at least once, would you suggest buying a ticket now or wait till the day of in hopes the box office drops prices again? – Hussdawg22

Don’t you dare buy a ticket now, Hussdawg.  I realize I shouldn’t say that, and I’m not helping Affliction’s cause any, but dammit, as your unofficial MMA-related financial advisor I simply cannot recommend that purchase.  

For one thing, you don’t even know for sure if that show will happen on that date.  With the Mosley-Margarito bout in the same region on the same night, and with all Affliction’s troubles, they may reschedule it or drop it altogether.  Anything’s possible with them. 

But more importantly, that event will not sell out.  You will still be able to get a ticket on fight day, and it’s a very good bet that you’ll be able to get a good seat cheap.  You don’t want to be the jerk who pays $250 to sit next to some dudes from Cal State Fullerton who paid thirty bucks a pop.

After seeing Torres tear through another "number 1 contender", what does the B&B Potato Entrapment Company think of level of competition in the WEC’s bantamweight division? Is it on par with the UFC’s welter or middle weight division and Torres is just THAT damn good or is it more along the lines of the UFC’s lightweight division where most of the weight division’s talent is in Japan?  — Geriatric Peon

(Photo courtesy of daylife.com.)

Well, it looks like the Octagon will be short one dreadlocked Camaroonian. Multiple sources have confirmed that charismatic Team Quest fighter Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou has been released from his fight contract following his TKO loss to light-heavyweight up-and-comer Luis Cane at UFC 89 last month; the defeat dropped Soko’s UFC record down to 1-2, and his overall record to 5-3. Though he entered the UFC on a wave of hype last year with quick knockout victories over PRIDE stars Antonio Rogerio Nogueira and Ricardo Arona under his belt, Sokodjou’s relative inexperience was exposed in his unsuccessful debut against Lyoto Machida, and now he’s been pink-slipped to sharpen up his game elsewhere.

Speaking of fighters who never lived up to the promise of their pre-UFC performances, Rich Franklin’s BFF Jorge Gurgel has been cut — despite winning a $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus at UFC 91 — and picked up by Strikeforce. Gurgel’s decision loss to Aaron Riley earlier this month was just another frustrating example of Gurgel brawling his way to defeat rather than use the fearsome jiu-jitsu that earned him a 9-1 record (with all wins by submission) before being signed by the UFC. Within the Octagon, Gurgel went 3-4, with all but one fight going to a decision.

Though he told MMA Junkie that the cut was "very humiliating" and "a crushing of my childhood dream," he also sounded hopeful in a press release distributed by Strikeforce, saying "To me, this is like a new start. I’m coming in fresh…I make some bad decisions because I have too much fun. I have never used my Jiu Jitsu in the UFC…[people] ask me why I don’t use my Jiu-Jitsu. I have so much fun standing up and I completely think I’m winning all the time…I will always bring the same intensity and I’m always going to fight 110 percent. I just want to be able to use everything that I know."

UFC 91 PPV numbers and more after the jump…

(Photo courtesy of Arianny’s official website.  The rest of her Hawaii photos are, shall we say, bikini-tastic.)

While we wait patiently to hear just how many pay-per-views UFC 91 sold and whether it lived up to Dana White’s optimistic prediction of 1.2 million, White is already off and running with his next oversized claim.  This one,  not surprisingly, revolves around UFC 94’s B.J. Penn-Georges St. Pierre superfight:

"I’m just coming off a promotion where I got done saying it’s the biggest fight in UFC history in terms of most pay-per-view buys," White said. "I truly believe this fight has the potential to break that. BJ and Georges are heavyweights when it comes to star power."

Is this what we’re going to do every time now?  Has Dana White become a boxing promoter, calling every fight the biggest fight ever, until the next fight?  I realize he’s talking to a Honolulu paper so he has to say some of this stuff, but words mean things.

MMA Payout sees this as an opportunity for us to find out whether the sport of MMA (two established champions, both pound-for-pound greats, neither of whom have been in the WWE) sells as well as the “spectacle” of MMA (Brock Lesnar against that other guy).  You’d like to say that it does, but then again you’d also like to believe that the cute waitress is being so nice because she actually likes you and not just because she works in the service industry and her kids need new shoes.

I can’t help but wonder whose idea it was to have new WEC featherweight champ Mike Brown on Inside MMA and then ask the panel — which consisted of Brown, Dave "Pee Wee" Herman, and oddsmaker Nick Kalikas — who the best fighter in the WEC is.  You know Brown’s going to say it’s him, and you also know the other two guys are going to want to say it’s Urijah Faber, thus implying that Brown got lucky when he beat Faber for the belt at WEC 36.  And you know that when this happens it will create a palpably uncomfortable situation for everyone.  And yet they do it anyway.

Say what you will, I have no choice but to admire that move.  It’s kind of a mini ethics test, because we’d know if one of them said Brown it would only be because he was sitting a few feet away and not because they really believed it.  But honesty ruled the day, and as usually happens in real life, awkwardness followed with it. 

Security Body Slams Jerk at UFC 91 – Watch more free videos

It just wouldn’t be a night at the fights if someone didn’t get all riled up and start their own action outside the Octagon.  What this guy doesn’t take into account, however, is that the cops at UFC 91 have been watching the same ass-kicking action all night long, and are now just as eager as he is to bash some skulls.  Maybe even a little too eager. 

The slam that comes at around the 0:27 mark may not be a model of technical execution, but it ends with our bewildered troublemaker on his back soaking up spilled beer and wondering how the cops at the MGM Grand got to be so agro, brah.  At least he waited until after the main event to get himself brutalized.

(“Screw it, nobody’s watching anyway.”)

I know, I know, you’re all antsy to learn how many pay-per-view buys UFC 91 took in, and whether Dana White’s estimate of 1.2 million was either strongly optimistic or batshit delusional. You’ll have to be patient, because numbers from UFC 90 are just coming out now — and they aren’t too encouraging. Says the Wrestling Observer Newsletter:

The trending patterns as a prediction of the buy rate continued to be right on as the 10/25 show in Chicago headlined by Anderson Silva vs. Patrick Cote did 300,000 buys.

Silva has never been a big main-event draw, PPV-wise. His headlining appearances at UFC 82, 77, and 67 all translated to buys in the 330,000-350,000 range. But in the run-up to last month’s Chicago show, the UFC had been trying extra hard to push him over as a fan-favorite, frequently repeating the talking point that UFC 90 was your chance to see the world’s greatest pound-for-pound fighter in action. The Spike TV special Countdown to UFC 90 brought in a record number of viewers, which was seen as a great sign for the event’s performance on pay-per-view, though MMA Payout points out that the strong viewership could have been due to having a high-rated TNA wrestling show as a lead in.

(Photo courtesy of Si.com)

Now that this crazy weekend of MMA action is in the books, it’s time to sort through the rubble of UFC 91 and figure out who’s up and who’s down. And how will we do that? Arbitrary numbers, baby. It’s the only way.

Brock Lesnar +482

The line of reasoning that says he’s too inexperienced to be deserving of a title shot simply doesn’t hold up after he wins by second-round stoppage. Even if you don’t think he beat the best Couture we’ve ever seen in the Octagon, he still looked positively terrifying in there. This guy can give lots of heavyweights lots of problems, particularly if he continues to improve. And if you’re one of the millions who hate him, well, you’re just playing right into his enormous hands.

Randy Couture -130

Maybe it was age that was Couture’s undoing. Maybe it was size and strength. Regardless, it’s hard to see how he will ever capture another UFC title. A fight against the loser of the Nogueira-Mir match would still be compelling, but time is running out. And fast.

Kenny Florian +274

He dismantled Joe Stevenson much the same way B.J. Penn did, if not more impressively. So why doesn’t Penn seem at all interested in fighting him? Whatever happens in Penn’s superfight with GSP, no lightweight has earned a title shot more than KenFlo and waited so long and so patiently for it. Come on, B.J. Let’s do eet!

(“It was a big, white, semi-truck. The license plate was JACKLINKS.”)

“The ref [Mario Yamasaki] was going, ‘Eh, is [Couture] OK?’ Mario was trying to give him time [to recover]. There’s a fine line between that and [allowing] too many punches. When I saw Randy go back down, I thought we had crossed that line.” — Dana White on the stoppage in UFC 91′s Lesnar/Couture fight, which some questioned as dangerously late.

“He came in a couple days ago and I introduced him to Manny and the other trainers. We picked out a time…and he’s gonna come in and start training with me. I hear he’s a great striker and I hope we can help him improve even more.” — Beloved boxing trainer Freddie Roach on his new protege, Anderson Silva.

“I’d fight him. The thing about a Machida fight that isn’t appealing to me is that stylistically, Machida is kind of a boring fighter. That’s not a putdown. He’s very, very effective. He’s good at what he does. He’s constantly backing away and forces his opponent into mistakes, and that’s how he catches you. In order to beat him, you really have to fight an intelligent fight, and I think that by not overcommitting yourself on things, it’s going to create a situation where you’re not putting on a fight that’s really exciting for the fans.” — Rich Franklin stating the obvious regarding a potential rematch with Lyoto Machida. Machida gave Franklin his first career loss via TKO at the Inoki Bom-Ba-Ye Festival in 2003.

(“Fruit smoothies are on me tonight, buddy!”)

The UFC paid out a juicy $1,358,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses for UFC 91, with the night’s headliners walking away with over half of that total. The numbers are below; keep in mind that they don’t include income from sponsorships, undisclosed “locker room bonuses” or pay-per-view percentages, or deductions due to expenses such as insurance and taxes. And here we go…

Brock Lesnar: $450,000 (includes $200,000 win bonus)
Randy Couture: $250,000
Gabriel Gonzaga: $110,000 (includes $55,000 win bonus)
Dustin Hazelett: $88,000 (includes $14,000 win bonus, $60,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
Kenny Florian: $80,000 (includes $40,000 win bonus)
Jeremy Stephens: $76,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus, $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
Jorge Gurgel: $70,000 (includes $60,000 Fight of the Night Bonus)
Aaron Riley: $68,000 (includes $4,000 win bonus, $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
Demian Maia: $40,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus)

(Lesnar: title belt, stitches, and all. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Dana White and the cast of fighters from UFC 91 were surprisingly forthcoming at the post-fight press conference on Saturday night, with one exception. Near the end of the Q & A session, a reporter asked Brock Lesnar what the essential differences were between being a UFC employee and a WWE one, from a business standpoint.

“Don’t answer that question,” White said to his new heavyweight champ, only half-jokingly. Lesnar said he wouldn’t. It got a laugh. Seems like these two are going to get along just fine. When someone brought up the possible Kimbo Slice-Brock Lesnar comparison, based more on the number of pro fights each man had than the quality, White was quick to shoot it down.

“It drove me crazy when people would compare him to Kimbo Slice. If I had hair I’d pull it out. He’s far from Kimbo Slice.”

“I don’t even know that guy,” said Lesnar, who had already claimed not to “have the internet” or even read newspapers when asked if he was discouraged by critics in the press. “Who is he?”

“You’re lucky,” said White.

(Maybe it’s just the camera angle, but Lesnar does appear to have a slight size advantage. Photo courtesy of The Sun.)

From WWE.com, not that I ever go there:

LAS VEGAS – In a stunning upset, Brock Lesnar became the first man to capture both the WWE Championship and the UFC Heavyweight Championship* when he defeated UFC fan favorite Randy “The Natural” Couture on Saturday night in Sin City…

For Lesnar, the road to UFC gold proved surprisingly short. Within roughly six months**, the former WWE Superstar climbed to the top of the ultimate fighting heap, capping his ascent with the upset victory over Couture.

Critics have noted that many of the fights on the UFC pay-per-view ended in the first round, leaving UFC producers scrambling to fill the three-hour event with content. The dearth of hearty competition*** left many viewers to watch less prestigious under-card fights and only served to bolster claims that UFC pay-per-view events can often be a “crap shoot”**** in regards to filling the full three hours.

(Props: LifeType1)

Props to MMAScraps. Get it while it lasts…

(You ready for this? Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

We are live at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas for an extra-special, on-the-scene liveblog of UFC 91. What does that mean for your life? It means preliminary results, witty observations about crowd members, and constant updates as to what Arianny Celeste is up to throughout the night. At the same time, I don’t want to miss out on all your hilarious quips about the live broadcast, including but not limited to the banter between Joe Rogan and the century man, Mike Goldberg, so please fill me in with your comments.

Liveblog begins after the jump. Hit refresh often. If you don’t want the prelims spoiled for you…too bad. Just suck it up and deal.

(He kids because he loves.)

Chael Sonnen not only has a prediction for the main event of tonight’s UFC 91 (which we’ll be liveblogging, just a reminder), he’s also willing to put a little something behind it:

I’ll bet 25 percent of Paulo [Filho]’s purse on “The Natural.”

Someone get Filho some salve. Because he’s just been burned.

Check out MMA Live pretending to be College Gameday here as they preview the Randy Couture-Brock Lesnar bout. They may be missing the drunk, screaming, college students in the background, but they’ve got the headsets, dammit.

It’s great to see ESPN getting more serious about their MMA coverage. And since I am also in Vegas for the event, and since I want to help them out, I will now paint a Brock Lesnar penis sword on my chest and go down to scream in Franklin McNeil’s ear as a show of support. Also I will be drunk.

After the jump, the crew looks at Kenny Florian-Joe Stevenson, as well as the rest of the televised undercard.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

The unholy union between the UFC and 50 Cent has spawned its first offspring — this promo video for tomorrow night’s Couture vs. Lesnar fight, soundtracked by Fiddy’s new single “Get Up.” I don’t know…in the words of Randy Jackson, this one’s just aight for me, dog.

MMA Rated brings us this video from yesterday’s UFC 91 press conference, in which Dana White announces that the winner of the Kenny Florian/Joe Stevenson fight will earn a shot at BJ Penn’s lightweight title. Florian, Stevenson, Brock Lesnar, and Randy Couture also take the podium to say a few words. Fun fact: 15 of Randy’s 18 UFC fights have been for a championship belt.

After the jump: something completely different…

(Randy refuses to look Brock in the eyes! BET LESNAR! BET LESNAR! Photo courtesy of Flex Magazine.)

The UFC’s heavyweight grand prix, pay-per-view buys, Tamdan McCrory’s AFC status — we discuss it all in the latest installment of Ben vs. Ben. FYI, Fowlkes is currently a -170 favorite to win this argument.

How exactly will the main event end, and how will the winner fare in the heavyweight “tournament” as a whole?

Fowlkes: As big and powerful as Brock Lesnar is, his chances to win this fight diminish the longer it goes. He has the classic wrestler-turned-MMA fighter problem. He can get a guy down and hold him there, but aside from some inefficient ground-and-pound, he struggles to put people away.

So you’re all impressed by Lesnar’s win over Heath Herring? Great. You know who else outwrestled Herring for a decision win? Jake O’Brien. My point is, it’s not such an impossible feat. He’s never gone five rounds with someone as savvy and resilient as Couture. While Lesnar’s best hope is a decision, Couture can win several different ways.

Couture might have to take a beating in the first couple rounds. He might get pushed around more than he’s used to. But by the third he’ll turn the tide. He’ll take Lesnar’s back, discover that the man has no discernible neck to choke, then unleash a torrent of punches and satisfy himself with a TKO finish due to ref stoppage at the 4:10 mark. And still…UFC…heavyweight champion…until he’s submitted by Nogueira in the finals of this so-called tournament.

Goldstein: I say Couture takes the UFC 91 main event in a unanimous decision. We’re going to see a very methodical Randy on Saturday night, working his clinch game when he can, and doing his best to stuff takedown attempts and keep out of Brock’s punching range. He’ll go with the low-risk Machida approach, in other words, because one mistake, leading to one unfortunate position, could bring about a painful loss. I’ll agree that Randy will have Brock figured out by round three, but I’m going to give Lesnar the benefit of the doubt and say that Randy won’t be able to finish him — though Lesnar will definitely take more abuse than he ever has in his short real-fighting career.

(Odds on that dog doing something adorable: very, very good.)

Though we’ve debated the topic nearly to death over the last few days, there’s still no online betting establishment giving odds on whether UFC 91 will really sell 1.2 million pay-per-views, as Dana White claims. What a shame. Knowing absolutely nothing about oddsmaking and even less about basic math, I’d put the line at +900. For all you ‘tards out there, that means I don’t think it will happen. The line on us seeing both Mandy Moore and Laura Prepon during the broadcast? -230. The line on the two of them fighting it out over the last Cosmo at the after-party? +15000. That’s not because they wouldn’t do it, but because the Cosmos never run dry when you hang with Dana White. Never.

As for the odds on actual fights that will actually happen, BestFightOdds.com has done all the leg work for us, and here are the best lines for UFC 91:

Brock Lesnar (-121) vs. Randy Couture (+111)
Kenny Florian (-174) vs. Joe Stevenson (+164)
Demian Maia (-200) vs. Nate Quarry (+195)
Dustin Hazelett (-150) vs. Tamdan McCrory (+175)
Gabriel Gonzaga (-370) vs. Josh Hendricks (+371)
Mark Bocek (-105) vs. Alvin Robinson (+110)
Jeremy Stephens (-115) vs. Rafael Dos Anjos (+117)
Jorge Gurgel (-115) vs. Aaron Riley (+126)
Matt Brown (-185) vs. Ryan Thomas (+190)

Thoughts…

(We love a woman who loves to party.)

- One man who won’t be sorry to see California State Athletic Commissioner Armando Garcia go is Sean Sherk, who still feels like he got a raw deal on his steroid case thanks to Garcia and his bungling of the appeals process. Sherk told MMA Rated that he “knew the guy had some issues” that would lead to his eventual removal, and now Sherk’s “glad to see that is finally taking place.” The sad irony is that it most likely wasn’t Garcia’s incompetence that got him in trouble so much as his ill-fated inter-office romance.

- Guess which over-stimulated, hyperbolic UFC announcer will be celebrating his 100th broadcast at UFC 91 on Saturday night? Did you guess Mike Goldberg? Damn, you’re good. UFC.com has an interesting article that looks at how Goldie went from some dude in front of a microphone who knew nothing about MMA to some dude in front of a microphone who is at least better than Mauro Ranallo. The best part of the article is hearing it all straight from Goldberg, who apparently loves mixing metaphors even when he’s not working. On why he stuck with the UFC even after the WWE made him a lucrative offer:

I can equate it to maybe playing for the Cincinnati Bengals and being 3-13 and 4-12, and finally you think you’ve got a team that might make it to the postseason. Do you bail and go to the Patriots or 49ers at that point, or do you say ‘the ship is sailing and is about to find a really cool island – do I want to jump off that ship now or see where it’s gonna land?’

Wait, are we still talking about the UFC?

(Nothing says ‘power couple’ like matching shirts and leis.)

Affliction’s Todd Beard really knows how to screw up. First he goes on Scott Ferrall’s radio show to blast Randy Couture and publicly state his desire to see him get his ass kicked by Brock Lesnar. But that’s not enough to really alienate one of the biggest stars Affliction works with, so just for good measure he also threatens Couture’s wife, Kim, who then gets a restraining order against him. That’s called going above and beyond, working fuck-up overtime. And here we thought he was just an alcoholic.

TMZ has the scoop:

Randy and wife Kim claim Affliction Prez Todd Beard has been on a campaign of terror against them since they asked for an accounting of profits. A Las Vegas judge just issued a temporary restraining order, prohibiting Beard from going near Kim, and that includes going near the MGM Grand when Randy fights this Saturday. And Beard can’t go to the hotel during the weigh-in the day before either.

According to Kim Couture’s declaration, Beard has made “a series of threats and acts intended to intimidate me and otherwise coerce me to ‘back off.’”

She goes on: “My fear of Mr. Beard is well-founded given his extensive criminal history. Not only has he been convicted of numerous state and federal felonies relating to fraud …he has engaged in numerous acts of violence, including violence against women.”

Hold up, “extensive criminal history?” You mean, aside from making those overpriced t-shirts? Yes. As it turns out, Beard is a bit of a rounder. He’s even served time.

(Josh Hendricks steamrolls Rick McChristian at GFS: Caged Vengeance in February 2006; the destruction begins at the 1:47 mark.)

Amir Sadollah’s leg infection means we won’t get to see what this Nick Catone dude’s all about, but there will still be two Octagon first-timers trying their luck in Las Vegas on Saturday. Here’s what you need to know in order to sound smart around your friends…

JOSH “HEAVY” HENDRICKS (HW)
Experience: 15-4 record in various midwestern promotions, with 13 wins by 1st-round stoppage. Has gone 10-0 with one no-contest in his last 11 fights.
Will be facing: Gabriel Gonzaga (9-3, 5-2 UFC)
Lowdown: Randy Couture hand-picked this former two-time All-American wrestler to help him prepare for his bout against Brock Lesnar (you might have caught a glimpse of him in the Countdown to UFC 91 special on Spike). At 6’2″, 246 pounds, Hendricks isn’t quite as big as Lesnar, but he’s got plenty of speed and power, and very few opponents have made it out of the first round against him. Ring rust may be an issue, however; his last fight — a 50-second submission-by-strikes victory over Braden Bice — took place a year ago.

RAFAEL DOS ANJOS (LW)
Experience: 11-2 record with multiple appearances in the Brazilian fight clubs Fury FC and XFC. He has won his last nine fights, and has never lost by stoppage.
Will be facing: Jeremy Stephens (13-3, 2-2 UFC)
Lowdown: The reigning lightweight champ of Fury FC, UFC 91 marks Dos Anjos’s first appearance in North America. Most of his wins come via submission, which is no surprise considering he’s a student of BJJ greats Aldo “Caveirinha” Januário and Roberto “Gordo” Correa. He’s also a member of the Gracie Fusion fight team, and used to train under the late Ryan Gracie. Two of his fights are after the jump…

(Taking a breather, messing with a footlock. No biggie.)

It’s that time again. Volume two in our “Ask the Potato” series. So, for those of you who asked whether this was an ongoing series, consider your question answered. Try to come up with something a little more thought-provoking next time. Go here if you’ve got a question that just can’t wait.

When are we going to find out about Paulo Filho‘s toxicology report, and how soon do you see the California Kid getting his rematch? Is he going to have to climb the ladder, or would the rematch be immediate? — Faderade

I once drove a forklift on the loading docks of a small, non-union trucking company. Many idiots worked there. One day one of these idiots inexplicably drove his forklift directly into a stack of riding lawnmowers, causing several thousand dollars worth of damage. They drug-tested that guy the same day. He did not pass. For some odd reason, Filho’s performance at WEC 36 reminded me of that guy.

When I picture the urine sample Filho submitted to the Florida Commission, I imagine it smoking and bubbling like the secret potion in a monster movie. Just handling the sample could probably cause a woman to miscarry, even if she wasn’t pregnant.

But that’s just speculation on my part. Maybe Filho wasn’t on drugs. Maybe he was off them, and that’s the explanation. You can usually expect to find out if someone tested positive within a month of the event. We’re waiting. Anxiously. As for Urijah Faber, he’ll get that rematch just as soon as Brown is healthy. He’s earned it, and it’s the only fight for the WEC at 145 that’s a guaranteed draw at this point.

What does it mean if Brock Lesnar wins? — Maxwell

In this edition of Dana White‘s video blog he prepares for UFC 91 by going to the THQ headquarters to get a look at the upcoming “UFC 2009: Undisputed” video game. Does it look totally sweet? It does. The designers attempt to explain some of their revolutionary methods in creating this game, but Dana doesn’t care. He just wants to play as Brock Lesnar. And if you’re going to try and tell me that the THQ dudes didn’t let him win, don’t bother.

This video blog also has the strangest ending we’ve seen yet. After Dana gets done swearing his way through an interview with the Wall Street Journal, he responds to a critic on YouTube who wondered why a rich guy like the UFC prez would listen to music on regular earphones like the rest of us plebes. Well, problem solved, because now he’s got the Dr. Dre Beats headphones, bitch! You happy now?! Well, probably not, no.

Seriously, is Dana White going through and reading the YouTube comments on his video blogs? Because that is not the best use of his time.

(Looks like Sadollah’s first non-TUF fight is going to have to wait.)

Ultimate Fighter 7 winner Amir Sadollah won’t be fighting at UFC 91 this weekend after all, as UFC.com reports that a leg infection has forced him off the card. What with the fight just a couple of days away, the UFC couldn’t find a suitable replacement and has given up trying, so the bout is being scratched altogether.

Sorry, Nick Catone. That big UFC debut you’ve been training for, the one you told all your friends and family about, it ain’t happening. Look on the bright side: at least you’re still undefeated.

Since the bout leaves a hole in the televised portion of the event, the UFC is going to bump Tamdan McCrory-Dustin Hazelett up from the darkness to make up for it. You hear that, “Barn Cat”? You’re going to fight on TV in front of a Dana White-estimated 1.2 million households. Your struggles with women are finally over, my man.

(If Dana is right, Jack Link’s Beef Jerky is about to get their money’s worth.)

UFC president Dana White appeared on ESPN First Take today (thanks to our friends at MMA Fanhouse for the heads up) to talk UFC 91, and it seems he isn’t backing down from his earlier prediction that this event would do over a million pay-per-view buys. This time White got even more specific with his figures:

“We think it’s going to be the biggest pay-per-view draw in UFC history,” White said. “We think we’re going to do 1.2 million buys on this fight. It’s a big fight, the WWE cross-over for this fight, a lot of WWE fans are going to tune in to see if their former wrestling champion can win in a real fight. Vince McMahon might even buy this fight.”

One hopes that White is relying on some kind of consumer research, as he has claimed in the past, and not just spouting off a number. But 1.2 million buys, in the midst of a recession? That’s the kind of claim that makes me want to call ‘shenanigans,’ as the kids say.

The shakiest part of this logic is the dependence on the curiosity of the WWE crossover audience, especially the portion of that audience that typically passes on buying UFC events. This is Brock Lesnar‘s third UFC fight. Granted, it’s his biggest one yet, but only fans who follow the UFC enough to realize the importance of Randy Couture appreciate that.

To the casual WWE fan that White is depending on, isn’t this just another Brock Lesnar fight? And if these WWE fans are so eager to see Lesnar in a real fight, wouldn’t they have been just as willing to pay for his first big fight against Frank Mir?

It’s the week leading up to another UFC event, which means we get to see Dana White on hustle-mode once again. He kicks off this installment of the vlog at Tony Hawk’s Stand Up for Skateparks benefit/festival/whatever, where he wrings out Randy vs. Brock fight predictions from Anthony Kiedis (Randy via experience), Urijah Faber (Lesnar via beastly genetics) and Wanderlei Silva, who claims Randy will put Brock on the ground and do something to his face with the elbows. Skater/radio host Jason Ellis agrees wholeheartedly. (“And he’s got a dick on his chest, too,” Ellis says.)

Driving away from the event, we are introduced to Dana’s shy sons, Friction and Fractalgeometry — “Fric” and “Frac” for short — who aren’t as excited about going to Johnny’s Rockets as their father is (kids today). Fric demands a “dwink,” which earns him endless mockery from Dana. We also learn that shopping is the only thing their mother does.

Dana is dropped off at Jimmy Iovine‘s house to meet 50 Cent and discuss the relationship between fighting and music. 50 is sporting a t-shirt with a picture of Kate Moss. As he explains it, “black president, it’s time for interracial relationships.”

“Countdown to UFC 91″ airs tonight on Spike TV at 11 pm EST/PST. In this brief taste we get an idea of what the storyline between Randy Couture and Brock Lesnar is going to be, but somehow it still feels like less than an all-out promotional blitz for an event Dana White predicted would top one million pay-per-view buys. Maybe they think this one sells itself. Maybe they think the wrestling fans will come out in droves to buy this one like they never have before. Maybe they finally realized that the undercard is caught somewhere between mediocre and painfully weak, and they’re already thinking about hyping UFC 92.

After the jump, Matt Lindland stops by to give his analysis of the Couture-Lesnar matchup.