(“…and that’s the ‘bleeding robot’. For my next impression — the ‘bleeding hula girl’.”)

Two pivotal light-heavyweight matchups have been added to UFC 139: Velasquez vs. Dos Santos, November 19th in San Jose. First, in the night’s “no pressure” match, Ryan Bader and Jason Brilz will both try to snap their two-fight losing streaks. Bader is skating on thin ice after being utterly ass-handled by Jon Jones in February, then getting choked out by Tito Ortiz in the upset of the year. Brilz kicked off his losing skid with a valiant effort against Lil’ Nog, followed by a far-less-impressive 20-second knockout loss to Vladimir Matyushenko at UFC 129. Winner keeps their job. Loser…well, who knows anymore?

(Papy wears that hat in memory of his late grappling coach, Fred Sanford.)

With three unanimous decision losses in his last four fights, former welterweight title contender Thiago Alves is going to need to start rackin’ up the old W’s if he wants to stay relevant (and keep his job) in the UFC. His next bout will give him the opportunity to rebound like a boss or crash and burn. MMAWeekly reported yesterday that Alves will face recent UFC signee Papy “Makambo” Abedi at UFC 138, November 5th in Birmingham, England.

A Congolese fighter who now fights out of his adopted home of Sweden, Abedi has racked up an 8-0 record (5 TKOs, 2 subs) competing throughout Europe, most recently scoring a first-round submission against Nathan Schouteren at a Superior Challenge event last October. The 32-year-old holds a black-belt in judo, and trains at the HILTI NHB camp in Stockholm. Though Abedi has spent the majority of his career at middleweight, he’s decided to drop to 170 for his UFC debut. Check out some vids of Papy in action after the jump, and let us know how you think he’ll fare against Alves…

(Cheick Kongo: Dangerous even when he’s counting baguettes in Le Dreamland.)

As first reported by ESPN, a heavyweight meeting between undefeated rising star Matt Mitrione and veteran striker Cheick Kongo has been slated for UFC 137: St. Pierre vs. Diaz. Both fighters are coming off of KO victories at UFC on Versus 4 on June 26th; Mitrione dominated Christian Morecraft for two rounds before ending the bout with a stunning walkoff knockout, while Kongo pulled off one of the greatest comeback wins in MMA history against Pat Barry, surviving two knockdowns before landing a Hail Mary shot that turned Barry’s light out.

Mitrione vs. Kongo is a booking that immediately made sense in the aftermath of that night. Mitrione deserves a step up from the kind of entry-level competition he’s been getting so far in his UFC career — and the fact that Mitrione and Pat Barry are training partners at Roufusport gives the Meathead/Kongo matchup a nice little revenge hook. So who takes this one: The rapidly-improving rookie, or the resilient veteran?

(When Donald was finished with his country-glam-rock version of “Home Sweet Home,” there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Mostly because the audience had all left by then. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

It’s kind of a long story, but due to a series of injuries and replacements, a lightweight prelim between John Makdessi and Paul Taylor slated for UFC on Versus 5 (August 14th, Milwaukee) eventually morphed into an even more compelling matchup between lanky cowboy-hatted veteran Donald Cerrone and young submission ace Charles Oliveira. That’s the good news. The even-better news is that Cerrone vs. Oliveira has been bumped to the event’s main card due to its awesomeness.

Cerrone is on a four-fight win streak, which includes submission victories over Chris Horodecki and Paul Kelly, but caught some criticism in his last outing — a lopsided decision victory over Vagner Rocha at UFC 131 — for arguably playing it safe rather than going for a finish. Meanwhile, Oliveira’s last victory was recently overturned to a no-contest due to the fact that he set up his rear-naked choke submission against Nik Lentz with a very blatant illegal knee, which everybody in the building spotted except for the referee.

After the jump, the full lineup for UFC on Versus 5, which looks pretty damn entertaining for a free card.

(Riley’s last tangle with a TUF winner didn’t work out too well for his face. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The UFC confirmed last night that Tony Ferguson — who won last season of the Ultimate Fighter by knocking out four dudes consecutively in the welterweight bracket — will make his Octagon return on the UFC 135: Jones vs. Rampage card (September 24th, Denver). Now competing at lightweight, Ferguson is slated to meet Team Jackson veteran Aaron Riley (30-12-1, 3-4 UFC), who hasn’t fought since his unanimous decision win over Joe Brammer last May at UFC 114. Riley was scheduled to face Pat Audinwood at UFC 119 later that year but had to withdraw due to injury.

It won’t be the first time that Riley has been drafted to act as a gatekeeper for a brand-new TUF winner. In November 2009 at UFC 105, he faced TUF 9 lightweight champ Ross Pearson and lost by doctor’s stoppage TKO. Between Riley’s inconsistent performances and long layoff, it seems like the UFC is counting on him to make their new prospect look good. Can ‘El Cucuy’ knock out another one?

The current list of UFC 135′s reported matchups is after the jump…

(Unfortunately, Ellenberger was fined 10% of his purse for drawing a bunch of dicks on Sean Pierson’s face after he was passed out. Photo courtesy of ESPN)

According to a new report from MMAFighting, UFC welterweight contenders Jake Shields and Jake Ellenberger have agreed to face each other this fall (event TBA). Shields is coming off his unsuccessful title bid against Georges St. Pierre in April — which snapped a 15-fight win streak — while the surging Ellenberger has scored wins in his last four Octagon appearances, including knockouts of Mike Pyle, John Howard, and Sean Pierson.

As you may recall, Ellenberger has been openly campaigning for this matchup ever since Shields’s underwhelming UFC debut against Martin Kampmann last October. Following that fight, Ellenberger harnessed his inner Chael Sonnen, tweeting “Jake Shields, you’re as exciting as watching a bowl of mash potatoes get cold…Your days are numbered…Jake Shields’ cardio won’t be a factor if he fights me next. I won’t keep him around long enough to get tired.”

(Yeah, we know that’s a different Diaz, but that doesn’t make the message any less valid. Props: jaylibbb)

After suffering back-to-back decision defeats in his last two fights against Dong Hyun Kim and Rory MacDonald, Nate Diaz will be dropping back to his original home at lightweight, according to UFC.com. Diaz’s return opponent will be Japanese MMA icon Takanori Gomi at UFC 135: Jones vs. Rampage, September 24th in Denver. Gomi is coming off a submission loss to Clay Guida at UFC 125 in January, and has gone 1-2 overall in his current stint with the UFC.

Nate’s brother Nick previously faced Gomi at PRIDE 33 in one of the greatest bouts in MMA history; Diaz wore Gomi down in a gritty slugfest before tapping him in round 2 via gogoplata. The win was overturned and ruled a no-contest when Diaz tested positive for marijuana in a post-fight drug test. But come on, bro, we all saw what happened.

(Quinton Jackson warily high-fives Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban at the 1st Annual Pornstar Ball in Las Vegas, back in 2009. Seriously.)

The UFC announced yesterday that light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones and former champ Quinton “Rampage” Jackson have agreed to square off at UFC 135, September 24th at the Pepsi Center in Denver. It will be Jones’s first title defense, after winning the belt from Mauricio Rua in March. Meanwhile, Jackson is riding back-to-back decision wins over Lyoto Machida and Matt Hamill. It may not pack the kind of grudge-match heat that Jones vs. Rashad would have had, but at least Jones and Jackson disagree on the motorboating issue. So, anybody think Rampage actually has a chance against the young phenom?

A pair of heavyweight scraps have also been reportedly added to the event…

(“If you hear something late at night / Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight / Just don’t ask me what it was…” Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly)

With Jason Miller being drafted for a high-profile gig coaching The Ultimate Fighter, Mayhem’s original UFC return opponent Aaron Simpson was left without a dance partner. However, the UFC confirmed last night that Simpson will remain on the UFC 132: Cruz vs. Faber 2 card (July 2, Las Vegas) against undefeated TUF 11 semi-finalist Brad Tavares.

Kind of a downgrade for Simpson in terms of name value, but Tavares (7-0) is one of the best prospects in the middleweight division, and is coming off a first-round knockout of Phil Baroni in January. During his stint on The Ultimate Fighter, he won three consecutive fights before being choked out by Court McGee in the semis, then outpointed Seth Baczynski at the Finale show.

(“I’m healthy, I’m motivated, and there’s no way Phan is training as hard as I am.”)

Two years ago, Mike Brown was on the top of the world — an undisputed featherweight champion who could boast that he beat Urijah Faber twice. But after knockout losses to Jose Aldo and Manny Gamburyan, and a heartbreaking stretch earlier this year in which he dropped decisions to Diego Nunes and Rani Yahya in the same month, he’s now just fighting to stay relevant.

The UFC confirmed yesterday that Brown’s next match will be against TUF 12 vet Nam Phan at UFC 133 (August 6th, Philadelphia). Phan is coming off his very controversial split-decision loss to Leonard Garcia in December, after which he coined the phrase “Asian brother can’t get no love.” The body-shot specialist was slated to return to action in a rematch with Garcia at UFC Fight Night 24, but had to withdraw from the bout due to a broken foot; Chan Sung Jung stepped in and took care of business.

(Jim Miller viciously gnaws on Mac Danzig’s nipple at UFC 100.)

Following his seventh-straight Octagon victory — a third-round TKO over Kamal Shalorus at UFC 128 — Jim Miller will continue his arduous climb up the lightweight ladder at UFC on Versus 5 (August 14th, Milwaukee), where he’ll meet former WEC champ Ben Henderson. Henderson had his Octagon debut last month at UFC 129, scoring a unanimous decision victory over Mark Bocek, which helped wash away some of the shame from being one of MMA’s all-time greatest highlight-reel victims.

Fun fact: No fighter in the UFC has ever won eight fights in a row without earning a title shot. That would be an encouraging statistic for Miller, but the lightweight division is so clogged at the top right now — especially considering the delayed rematch between Edgar and Maynard, and Anthony Pettis being set up for a title shot if he beats Clay Guida in June — that Miller might have to keep winning for another full year before he gets the call.

(The “American Wacko” t-shirt, from TrashTalkinKids. Still waiting on my “Snot Jorgensen” tee, guys.)

Riding high on a two-fight win streak against Krzysztof Soszynski and Igor Pokrajac, Stephan Bonnar will likely take on yet another dude with a weird European name in his next appearance. Multiple sources reported today that the American Psycho will face aggressive Czech prospect Karlos “The Terminator” Vemola at UFC on Versus 5, August 14th in Milwaukee.

Vemola (8-1, all wins by first-round stoppage) made his name competing in England as a heavyweight, Donkey Kong-ing most of his terrified opponents in under two minutes. He suffered his first defeat in his Octagon debut at UFC 116, getting slept on by Jon Madsen for three rounds. Wisely, the 6-foot fireplug immediately dropped to light-heavyweight, and beat the living crap out of Seth Petruzelli, picking up a Knockout of the Night bonus in the process. Vemola was slated to return against Luis Cane at UFC 128, but had to withdraw due to a mouth infection.

Killer matchup, if you ask me. Battle-tested vet vs. young juggernaut — who ya got?

A day after news broke that colorful middleweight star Jason “Mayhem” Miller had signed a new contract with the UFC, it has been confirmed that Miller will make his Octagon return at UFC 132: Cruz vs. Faber 2, July 2nd in Las Vegas.

Mayhem will be facing off against Aaron “A-Train” Simpson, who snapped a two-fight losing streak last month when he out-pointed Mario Miranda at UFC Fight Night 24. Simpson’s previous UFC accomplishments include a Fight of the Night bonus for his split-decision victory over Tom Lawlor, and a Knockout of the Night bonus for his TKO win over Tim McKenzie. A two-time All-American wrestler for Arizona State University, Simpson now operates Power MMA & Fitness in Gilbert, Arizona, alongside teammates Ryan Bader and CB Dollaway.

Said Mayhem about the matchup: “He always fights hard and I know that that night will be no different. Cant wait for my FOTN bonus.” And if there’s a Walkout of the Night award, he’ll probably pick that up too.

(Oh put your hands down, Yves, you had nothing to do with that shit.)

Dana White confirmed today that a middleweight meeting between Vitor Belfort and Yoshihiro Akiyama has been set for UFC 133, August 6th in Philadelphia. It’s a bit of tough break for Belfort, who previously agreed to a fight with Wanderlei Silva (which fell through), then pleaded for a spot on the UFC Rio card and didn’t get that either. On the bright side, Belfort has the firepower to knock Akiyama’s dome into the front row, as long as he can avoid eating a surprise front kick. “Sexyama” has dropped his last two fights, and hasn’t scored a victory since his split-decision win over Alan Belcher at UFC 100 in July 2009.

Speaking of UFC 133, welterweight oddball sensation Brian Ebersole will be returning at the Philly event, fresh off his upset decision win over Chris Lytle at UFC 127 in February. Ebersole will face off against veteran Dennis Hallman, who is riding back-to-back wins over Ben Saunders and Karo Parisyan — both of whom were fired from the UFC after those losses. Ebersole and Hallman have a combined 117 MMA fights between the two of them.

In other fight-booking news…

(The worst part of dropping to 170? Not being able to eat what you want.)

As promised, Nate Marquardt will be dropping to welterweight for his next fight. The longtime UFC middleweight contender — who’s coming off a decision victory over Dan Miller at UFC 128 — makes his next appearance at UFC on Versus 4 (June 26th, Pittsburgh), where he’ll be facing Anthony “Rumble” Johnson in the main event. Johnson returned to the win column three weeks ago with a unanimous decision over Dan Hardy at UFC Fight Night 24. Note to Nate: If Rumble promises to stand and bang with you, don’t believe him.

The Pittsburgh card will also feature a welterweight meeting between Martin Kampmann and John Howard — the guy who Anthony Johnson called out after his win over Hardy. Kampmann will be trying to right the ship after two very disheartening decision losses to Jake Shields and Diego Sanchez. John Howard is also on a two-fight skid, coming off losses to Jake Ellenberger (via TKO) and Thiago Alves (via decision).

(Even five months later, Jorge’s tuxedo-shorts still crack me up. And yes, Sakara looks like he’s about to barf up five cans’ worth of Starkist.)

Jorge Rivera will try to wipe away the insult/injury of his ugly and controversial UFC 127 loss to Michael Bisping, when he steps into the Octagon this summer against Alessio Sakara. The UFC confirmed that the matchup would take place at UFC 133 in August, though the event still doesn’t have an official date or venue; MMAFighting.com says it’ll go down August 6th at the Wells Fargo Center in Philly.

If the Rivera vs. Sakara matchup sounds familiar, pat yourself on the head — the two hard-hitting middleweights were originally slated to get it on last November at UFC 122 in Germany, but Sakara withdrew on the day of the fight, due to bad tuna fish or something. Legionarius returned last month at “Sanchez vs. Kampmann,” where he dropped a unanimous decision to Serra-Longo rookie Chris Weidman, who took the fight on short-notice. We’d call that an upset, but it technically wasn’t. (Great job, bookies.) If you have any suggestions for Rivera’s inevitable video-parodies, please let us know in the comments section.

(And if they touch chins? Forget it, bro. Total chaos.)

Despite an official 4-0 record in the Octagon, TUF 10 vet Matt Mitrione won’t be getting a big step up for his next bout. The UFC confirmed yesterday that ‘Meathead’ will be taking on fellow heavyweight Christian Morecraft at UFC on Versus 4 (June 26th, Pittsburgh). Morecraft tasted victory last month with a technical submission over Sean McCorkle, but was knocked out by Stefan Struve in his UFC debut last August. Mitrione last competed at ‘Fight for the Troops 2′ in Janaury, where he scored a first-round TKO over Tim Hague, but injured his left hand during the fight.

Also announced for the UFC on Versus 4 card was the return of Joe Lauzon, who will be trying to bounce back from his kimura loss to George Sotiropoulos at UFC 123. J-Lau will face British lightweight prospect Curt Warburton, who recently outpointed Maciej Jewtuszko at UFC 127, following a decision loss to Spencer Fisher in his debut. The current list of matchups for the UFC’s first trip to Pittsburgh is after the jump…

(And in the background, you can see Jose Aldo getting ready to do this.)

Two months after announcing his intentions to “move to 145 and make a run for that belt,” former UFC lightweight contender Tyson Griffin has his first featherweight dance partner. The Xtreme Couture product will meet Manny Gamburyan at UFC on Versus 4, which is slated to go down June 26th, possibly at the Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh.

Griffin is coming off of three consecutive losses (to Evan Dunham, Takanori Gomi, and Nik Lentz), which could make this one of those unfortunate “win or go home” fights. Meanwhile, Gamburyan hasn’t competed since his violently unsuccessful bid for Jose Aldo’s title last September, which broke his three-fight winning streak at featherweight. Gamburyan was booked to face Rafael Assuncao at UFC 128 last month, but was forced to withdraw due to a back injury.

(Wandy’s been waiting for this moment ever since his son told him he wants to be the Cat Smasher when he grows up.)

UFC.com confirmed last night that middleweight veterans Wanderlei Silva and Chris Leben will be meeting at UFC 132 (July 2nd, Las Vegas). It’s a matchup that’s been a year in the making. Following his upset submission victory over Yoshihiro Akiyama at UFC 116 last July, Leben called out Akiyama’s original opponent for the fight, Wanderlei Silva. Silva liked the sound of it, and has been mentioning Leben’s name ever since.

Unfortunately, with Silva recuperating from knee surgery, Leben was forced to take another fight in the meantime, and wound up getting KO’d by Brian Stann. But although Silva has been tied to everyone from Stann to Chael Sonnen to Vitor Belfort for his return bout, it seems that the Axe Murderer is getting his wish to fight the Crippler, in a match that’s as close to a guaranteed slugfest as you can get in this kooky sport. Silva expressed his joy via Twitter:

(Well now I want to see Dominick Cruz as Backin’ Up Lady. Props: twitter.com/UrijahFaber)

The UFC announced on Saturday that the bantamweight title fight between Dominick Cruz and Urijah Faber will go down at UFC 132, July 2nd at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas. Since taping for TUF 14 is expected to take place sometime this summer, it seems unlikely that Cruz and Faber will be tapped as coaches for The Ultimate Fighter‘s first bantamweight/featherweight season.

The two former WEC stars have shared some bad blood since the lead-up to their first fight at WEC 26 in March 2007. Upset that he wasn’t featured on the event poster, Cruz signed his name over Faber’s face — which the California Kid perceived as a sign of disrespect. Faber went on to score a guillotine choke victory in just 98 seconds, retaining his featherweight title.

During an online live chat this afternoon for The Seattle Times to promote Saturday’s UFC Fight Night show, Dana White answered a question that’s been on the minds of many fans recently: Who is Shane Carwin fighting next? Wrote DW:

“As for Shane Carwin: Jon Olav Einemo. That’s his next opponent. He’s from Norway. He’s 6 foot 6, and he’s the Abu Dabi submission champion.”

The matchup has not yet been tied to a specific date or event. [Update: MMAJunkie says it's happening at UFC 131, June 11th in Vancouver]. A member of Team Golden Glory, Einemo (6-1) signed with the UFC earlier this month, and last competed in June 2010 when he defeated Kresimir Bogdanovic in Bosnia. (At least according to MMAFighting.com; none of the major MMA databases have a record of that fight actually happening.) Before that, Einemo’s most recent appearance was an armbar victory over James Thompson in November 2006. The only loss on his record came at the hands of Fabricio Werdum, who outpointed him at PRIDE 31 earlier that year.

(“FINISH HIM!” shouted the spooky narrator from Mortal Kombat, who had clearly never seen Jon Fitch fight before. Props: MMAConvert)

After their UFC 127 main event ended in a frustrating majority draw, BJ Penn and Jon Fitch have been re-booked for an immediate rematch at UFC 132 (July 2, Las Vegas). The UFC confirmed the news late last night. Both fighters were initially disappointed in their performance, but have since come around to the idea that they both should have won and a rematch is the only logical option. The fight will lead off the live Facebook-stream portion of the evening. (Kidding. It’ll probably be on the main card somewhere.) Maybe this match is a good time to test out the UFC’s proposed use of five-round fights for non-title features. No? Terrible idea?

(Damn, Arianny. Him too?)

After out-pointing Michael Johnson last December to win the TUF 12 lightweight trophy, Jonathan Brookins is gearing up for his first post-TUF opponent in the UFC. MMA Junkie reports that the super-chill bro-dog with the funky hair will take on Jeremy Stephens at the TUF 13 Finale (June 4th, Las Vegas). Stephens is 6-5 in the Octagon (19-6 overall), and most recently knocked Marcus Davis out of a job at UFC 125. Despite Stephens’s spotty record, he’ll be a tough challenge for Brookins, whose biggest weakness seems to be his standup defense; against an explosive power-puncher like Stephens, that could be a problem.

In other UFC booking news…

("What has two thumbs and is creeped-out by Pat Barry’s shorts?" Photo courtesy of Tracy Lee/Cagewriter)

With Frankie Edgar vs. Gray Maynard III tentatively scheduled for UFC 130 (May 28th, Las Vegas), Anthony Pettis has decided to fight again rather than wait all year for the title shot he’d been promised — a risky proposition considering how stacked the lightweight division is at the top. According to Heavy.com, Pettis will likely take on Clay Guida at either UFC 130 or UFC 131, which goes down two weeks later in Vancouver. It’s a kick in the nuts for perennial contender Kenny Florian, who was angling for the Pettis fight himself.

You’d sort of hope that Pettis/Guida happens at #130, so that if Pettis wins, he can enter the cage following the main event and face off with the lightweight champion in a "you have my belt, homey" moment. Of course if Edgar vs. Maynard results in another tie, we’re all screwed. Not out of the realm of possibility, considering how evenly matched those guys are.

Pettis is on a four-fight win streak, and is coming off his WEC lightweight title-winning performance against Ben Henderson, aided by The Greatest Kick the World Has Ever Seen. (By the way, Pettis’s trainer Duke Roufus told Sherdog that Pettis has "10 other [highlight-reel] kicks and moves for the UFC and he’s going to prove it." Be very afraid.) Guida has won his last three fights by submission, most recently choking out Takanori Gomi at UFC 125. After the jump: An incredible photo of Clay Guida doing a Richard Nixon impression at some kind of topless pool party.

(Not pictured: Stefan Struve’s cover for ‘Tall-Ass Honkey Weekly’.)

No, Yoshhiro Akiyama will not be taking on a convicted white-collar criminal in his next appearance. ESPN reports that Akiyama will instead face off against Nate Marquardt at UFC 128: Shogun vs. Evans, March 19th in Newark. The Japanese middleweight star is coming off two consecutive losses against Chris Leben (humiliating!) and Michael Bisping (slightly less humiliating, but still!), and likely needs a victory to keep his contract. Marquardt is coming off his own underwhelming loss against Yushin Okami at UFC 122, but will certainly be the favorite in this matchup.

Speaking of notable bookings, heavyweight contender Stefan Struve — who has slugged his way to back-to-back wins over Christian Morecraft and Sean McCorkle — has drawn another rising prospect for his next outing. According to MMAJunkie, Struve will return at UFC 130 (May 28th, Las Vegas) against undefeated Travis Browne, who just suffered through a foul-filled draw against Cheick Kongo at UFC 120. The only other match reported for UFC 130 at this point is Thiago Alves vs. Rick Story.

("This big horsemeat-eating motherf*cker is next.")

There’s been a veritable orgy of UFC fight-bookings happening over the last couple days, and we might as well throw them all at you in one lump sum. We’ll start with one that might not be the biggest of the bunch, but definitely struck us as the strangest…

Jim Miller vs. Kamal Shalorus - UFC 128:
When Dana White proclaimed that Miller’s impressive kneebar submission win over Charles Oliveira at UFC 124 put him in the mix of  lightweight contenders, nobody figured that would mean that he’d be paired with an Octagon newcomer in his next bout. But this is the UFC, and sometimes the organization’s MMA math just doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense. The Sparta, New Jersey native will attempt to increase his winning streak to seven when he takes on  (7-0-2) WEC veteran Shalorus at UFC 128 in his backyard in New Jersey.

Dan Miller vs. David Branch - UFC 128:
Considering that his brother is on the card and they can save on cornermen hotel rooms and plane tickets, it’s a no-brainer that the UFC would have another local fighter like Miller on the card for UFC 128. The fact that they now have to pay Chuck Liddell’s seven-figure salary,  bar and strip club tabs has not been lost on the accounting department who have undoubtedly suggested some cost cutting measures that will be implemented in 2011. Wait until you see the beat-up budget ex-strippers they bring in to replace Arianny and Chandella.

Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic vs. Brendan Schaub – UFC 128:
It turned out that reports earlier this week that a rumored bout between Schaub and Stephan Struve had been verbally agreed to by both fighters were incorrect. Instead, Schaub will look to climb over former PRIDE wrecking machine, Cro Cop on his way to a top five opponent in 2011.

Filipovic will attempt to prolong his rapidly shortening career by defeating the up-and-coming fighter who is riding a three-fight winning streak which includes a "W" over Gabriel Gonzaga — the last man to put Cro Cop to sleep prior to Frank Mir turning his lights out in his last outing at UFC 119.

("COME AT ME, BRO!")

Happy Thanksgiving, Potato Nation! If you’re reading this right now, you should probably consider disconnecting from the Internet and spending time with your family. If you came here to escape those horrible people, brother we can relate. (*Pours another glass of scotch*) Let us know what you’re thankful for in the comments section, and keep up-to-date with this grab-bag of UFC headlines…

– Replacing the unfortunately injured Jose Aldo at UFC 125 against Josh Grispi will be Dustin Poirier, an 8-1 featherweight prospect who just knocked out Zach Micklewright in 53 seconds earlier this month at WEC 52: Faber vs. Mizugaki. Chris Leben vs. Brian Stann will now be the event’s co-headliner, in support of the Frankie Edgar vs. Gray Maynard lightweight title fight.

– Coming off an ugly knockout loss against George Roop at WEC 51, "The Korean Zombie" Chan Sung Jung has his win-or-go-home fight booked, as he’ll be taking on Rani Yahya at Fight for the Troops 2 on January 22nd. It’ll be the only fight on the card where you won’t be able to chant "U!S!A!" in support of at least one of the fighters. Expect a lot of fans in the arena to make trips to the bathroom.

("That’s it. Diet starts tomorrow.")

After getting put to sleep by Nate Diaz at UFC 118 — his third loss in four attempts — Marcus Davis announced his intention to drop to lightweight. According to MMA Junkie, the Irish Hand Grenade’s 155-pound debut will take place at the UFC’s stacked New Year’s Day card in Las Vegas against Jeremy Stephens, who publicly requested to be Davis’s first lightweight opponent. Stephens most recently lost a split decision to Melvin Guillard at UFC 119.

Another likely matchup for UFC 125: Resolution will be former WEC featherweight champion Mike Brown making his promotional return against Diego Nunes. Brown made a single UFC appearance as a lightweight back at UFC 47 in 2004, losing by first-round submission to Genki Sudo. He most recently scored a quick TKO over Cole Province at WEC 51 in September. Representing Nova Uniao, Nunes has put together a 4-1 record in the WEC, and is coming off of consecutive decision wins against Raphael Assuncao and Tyler Toner.

The tentative lineup for UFC 125 is after the jump…

(Damn, Anthony, if you can’t get psyched around this crowd, we don’t know what to tell you.)

One day, mankind will realize that fighting is a counter-productive act, leading to only misery and division. Until then…

— Returning from his painful loss to Mirko Cro Cop in June, UFC heavyweight Pat Barry will step back into the Octagon against Joey "The Mexicutioner" Beltran at UFC Fight for the Troops 2. Beltran is also looking to get back to the W column, having dropped a decision to Matt Mitrione at UFC 119.

— Former WEC bantamweight champ Miguel Torres continues his path back to contendership against Antonio Banuelos at UFC 126 in February. Torres recently snapped a two-fight losing skid by choking at Charlie Valencia at WEC 51. Banuelos outpointed Chad George at the same event, and has won four of his last five.

(In case you’ve completely forgotten what he looks like, this is Jake Ellenberger.)

Immediately after Jake Shields notched an ugly decision win over Martin Kampmann at UFC 121, welterweight vet Jake Ellenberger logged onto Twitter and started posting short-message bombs directed at the former Strikeforce champ. Highlights included, "Jake Shields, you’re as exciting as watching a bowl of mash potatoes get cold…Your days are numbered" and "Jake Shields’ cardio won’t be a factor if he fights me next. I won’t keep him around long enough to get tired."

(As cheap as it is for Ellenberger to talk smack over Twitter — without even including ‘@jakeshieldsajj‘ in his posts so that Jake will actually see them — we have to commend him for being the first MMA fighter in Twitter history to understand the difference between "you’re" and "your." Okay, nerdy grammar rant over.)

Since Ellenberger is just 2-1 in the UFC with wins over fellow mid-packers Mike Pyle and John Howard, we didn’t think for a second that he’d get Jake Shields pulled from his impending title fight just on the strength of his eDisses. And he didn’t. Instead, Ellenberger got a fight against Jon Fitch.