(Jorge Masvidal, a man after our own heart | Photo CombatLifestyle)

Undefeated TUF 15 champion Michael Chiesa will now face former Strikeforce lightweight title challenger Jorge Masvidal on the UFC on Fox 8 card which goes down on July 27th in Seattle, WA. Chiesa was originally scheduled to face Swedish submission machine Reza Madadi until visa issues forced him out of the bout this week. Seems to be a lot of that going around…

The news was broken on Fuel TV’s UFC Tonight program last night. Chiesa is coming off of a submission win this past February at UFC 157 and Masvidal most recently fought and won three weeks ago in his UFC debut at UFC on Fox 7.

UFC on Fox 8 is headlined by a flyweight title bout between champion Demetrious Johnson and John Moraga, as well as a welterweight bout between top contenders Rory MacDonald and Jake Ellenberger.

The Chiesa/Masvidal fight is an interesting one because of what a big opportunity it is for both guys. Masvidal gets a big name in just his second UFC bout and a chance to become more known to fans. Chiesa’s opportunity is more of personal growth than anything, since it is a chance for him to fight a super tough veteran of the division and see how he stacks up – though with the negative being that only niche fans really know how good Masvidal is.

Who ya got, Nation? “GameBred” or “The Fighting Hippie?”

- Elias Cepeda

(The plaque is nice and all, but Chiesa would have gladly entered the TUF 15 tournament for two dollars.)

Although we can’t exactly accuse Spencer Fisher of violating our ban on MMA fighters retiring only to immediately unretire, he came about as close as humanly possible when he told various media outlets that his trilogy-completing fight with Sam Stout at UFC on FX 4 last June would probably be his last. As we originally remarked, it seemed about as fitting an end to his MMA career as Fisher could have asked for — his pair of previous fights with Stout had not only fueled an intense rivalry between the two (not on the level of Paraguay vs. Uruguay, but still), but had earned the duo Fight of the Night honors on two separate occasions. That he suffered a razor-thin split decision loss should not have cheapened the significance of the moment, at least in our minds.

In either case, it appears that Fisher is not quite ready to call it quits, as he has been booked to face fellow UFC vet Yves Edwards at UFC on FOX 8, which transpires from the KeyArena in Seattle, Washington on July 27th. Fisher has dropped 5 of his last 6 contests, whereas Edwards has gone win-loss in his last 5 fights and is coming off a unanimous decision loss to Strikeforce newcomer Isaac Vallie-Flagg at UFC 156. For Fisher’s sake, we hope he wins this, because ending your career on your own terms sure beats joining the And Now He’s Fired club.

And now let’s address the possible person of interest pictured above, who has also been booked for UFC on FOX 8…

(Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.) 

In one of the greater upsets of 2013 thus far, Robbie Lawler returned to the UFC last February and successfully smashed former top contender Josh Koscheck in the opening round of their UFC 157 main card scrap. Although the fight was not without its share of controversy (because it is physically impossible to fully knockout a Fraggle), the UFC quickly took notice nonetheless and has now booked “Ruthless” against the final Strikeforce welterweight champion, Tarec Saffiedine, at UFC on FOX 8. 

On the heels of the aforementioned Strikeforce welterweight championship-earning performance over Nate Marquardt at the final Strikeforce event, Saffiedine was originally tapped to face Carlos Condit at UFC 158 following Rory MacDonald’s withdrawal. Saffiedine declined the matchup, however, and has now been given what many fans would consider a much easier fight as punishment. The UFC rewards system at work, ladies and gentlemen.

Also booked for UFC on FOX 8, is a battle of exciting lightweights…

(Word has it that Torres attempted to lure Bowles’ sister into his “surprise van” after the weigh-ins. Big mistake, bro. / Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

We’re pretty convinced the real Brian Bowles died in 2011. Following his submission loss to Urijah Faber at UFC 139, Bowles vanished from the MMA scene without a trace and no one seems to know why. Go ahead, try and find a Brian Bowles interview, injury update, photo, credit card receipt, Twitter update or Facebook wall post dated to 2012. You will not. Brian Bowles was as much alive in 2012 as Caylee Anthony.

But unlike the subject of that distasteful and completely unnecessary comparison, it seems Brian Bowles has been given a second chance at life. That, or the Mangalor that is wearing his face has decided to give this MMA thing a try. In either case, Bowles has been booked against fellow WEC vet George Roop at UFC 160, which transpires on May 25th in Las Vegas.

Roop didn’t have a much better 2012 than Bowles, suffering a mouthpiece-ejecting KO to Cub Swanson in his only octagon appearance. This year has already proved more successful for the TUF 8 alum, who was able to outpoint Reuben Duran at UFC 158. Although if history is any indication, Roop’s 2013 is about to get a lot worse.

Also booked for UFC 160…

(Using so-phisticated technology, Jurassic Park scientists were able to extract the preserved blood from Munoz’s bone spurs and BINGO! Dino DNA. Photo via Munoz’s Twitter.) 

Fact: Chris Weidman hits so hard that his victims often fail to quantify the force of his punches until weeks and sometimes months after they’ve been hit. Just ask middleweight contender Mark Munoz, who received such a vicious beating at the hands of Weidman last July that his bones began to disintegrate over the course of the year in an attempt to deal with the shock. Hell, even Weidman’s body cracked under the pressure of possessing two pipe bombs for hands. So it’s quite fitting that, almost a year to the day after their clash at UFC on FUEL 4, both Weidman and Munoz have been booked to return to action at UFC 162. 

While Weidman is already scheduled to face off against Anderson Silva for the middleweight title in the evening’s main event, Munoz will taking on the man Weidman was expected to face at UFC 155, Tim Boetsch.

If you recall, Weidman’s teammate, Costa Phillipou, quickly stepped in as a replacement against Boetsch at UFC 155 and managed to successfully cut “The Barbarian’s” title hopes right out from under him with a series of eye pokes and headbutts that were eventually declared a third round TKO. Prior to the loss, Boetsch had racked up 4 straight wins in the middleweight division over the likes of Hector Lombard and Yushin Okami among others. Will ring rust play a factor in Munoz’s return to the octagon, or will Boetsch launch himself right back into the short list of contenders at middleweight with a win here?

Munoz vs. Boetsch is just one of several exciting matchups to be announced within the past few hours, so join us after the jump to check out the chronologically-sorted list.

(Anderson Silva and Dana White via Mommy, What Will I Look Like?)

Whether he has truly “earned it” or not yet (which is a debate that we should just stop having from here on out, because honestly), Chris Weidman vs. Anderson Silva is a fight that MMA fans have been clamoring for ever since Weidman beat Mark Munoz into a living death at UFC on FUEL 4 last July. At first, Silva simply ignored our advice outright. Then, in one of the most brilliantly executed circle jerks in MMA history, Silva used the media-thwarting vessel known as Ed Soares to call out Michael Bisping, then Luke Rockhold (who was still a Strikeforce fighter at the time), and finally Cung Le.

Silva’s media roundabout, budding movie career, and occasional trips to the light heavyweight division had fans questioning whether or not we’d ever see the middleweight champion return to the division he has dominated since 2006. So if you’re one for optimism, you’ll find comfort in the fact that multiple sources including Brazil’s Tatame are reporting that Silva vs. Weidman is “in the works” for a July event. Finally. However, if you’re like the rest of us, you’ll realize the futility of phrases like “in the works” or “probably coming back to the UFC” or “will get the next title shot” in regards to the UFC and just move along. Nothing to see here.

(I tell you what, if Maynard is able to catch Grant in his patented Indian rug burn, this shit is gonna be all over.) 

Figuratively speaking, Gray Maynard has not been involved in a UFC fight since he came up short against Frankie Edgar at UFC 136 in October of 2011. Sure, he did his best to nullify the “offense” of Clay Guida at UFC on FX 4 last June, but that exercise in tedium was less a fight and more like watching your cataract-stricken friend try to wrangle up all the cuccos in Kakariko Village on The Legend of Zelda. Although ”The Bully” was expected to face Joe Lauzon at UFC 155 last December, he was forced out of the bout with a knee injury that has sidelined him ever since.

But if the above gif is any indication, Maynard has been staying quite active on the sidelines and will be more than ready for his return to the octagon on May 25th at UFC 160, where he will face the streaking veteran T.J. Grant in a battle of top contenders. Grant has been on something resembling a killing spree lately, collecting four straight wins including a first round annihilation of Matt Wiman at UFC on Fox 6 last month. The far-and-away most impressive aspect of Grant’s recent wins has been the drastic improvement to his stand up game, an attribute he credits to the time he spent training in Thailand.

In a way, this fight is kind of a lose-lose for Maynard, at least by Ed Soares’ concept of the term.

(It took forty minutes and 13 Vodka cranberries before War Machine realized that this wasn’t the Jenna Jameson cutout he had ordered.) 

Although Bellator’s current bidding war with Eddie Alvarez has snagged all of the headlines, the promotion actually does have a card worth discussing at the end of the month in Bellator 86. Including King Mo’s promotional debut and a headlining welterweight title fight between Ben Askren and…WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? DON’T YOU DARE LOOK AWAY FROM ME. Askren will be fighting Karl Amoussou, who stands a better chance at ending the most uneventful title reign in MMA history than most of Askren’s challengers so far. I’M SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS.

In news you might define as “exciting,” elsewhere on the card will be the first round of action in Bellator’s next welterweight tournament, which features such former tournament participants as Ben Saunders, Douglas Lima, and Raul Amaya taking on Koffi Adzisto, Michail Tsarev, and Jose Reyes respectively. Also booked for the tourney is cursed in America fighter and recipient of truly the worst beating of 2012, Marius Zaromskis, who will be squaring off against Brent Weedman. Nearly half of these participants have faced one another before (Saunders has fought Amaya and Lima, who has fought Weedman) and six of the eight men have been knocked out of a Bellator welterweight tournament before. I’m not sure what to do with that information, but there it is.

As we know, both War Machine and Paul Daley were pulled from the tourney following a knee injury and a pub brawl, respectively. And in the twisted nightmare this universe has truly become, War Machine was not responsible for the latter. Bellator 86 goes down from the Winstar World Casino in Thackerville, Oklahoma on January 23rd.

And in UFC fight booking news…

(Damn, Brittney, where’d you get those vintage Brawlin’ Buddies?)

It’s a good time to be Chad Mendes, Nation. Not only has he been all but cleared of the battery charges he was facing following a massive bar brawl in October, but the UFC apparently feels so bad for sacrificing his undefeated virginity to Jose Aldo at UFC 142 that they’ve thrown him three straight gimme fights against dudes who would be lucky to wash his jockstrap at Team Alpha Male.

First he got called out by Cody McKenzie, which somewhat justified their insane pairing at UFC 148 (which ended in just over 30 seconds, by the way). And last weekend, Mendes dispatched promotional newcomer Yaotzin Meza in just under two minutes at UFC on FX 6. That’s two fights at 36K a piece with a total fight time of under half a round. No wonder he calls himself “Money,” the dude’s somehow become the most efficient worker in the UFC. Think about that for a second, Potato Nation, then take a moment to wonder aloud why Mendes has been paired against TUF 5 runner-up Manny Gamburyan at UFC 157.

About a month ago, the UFC’s welterweight title picture cleared up after nearly two years of confusion. Champion Georges St. Pierre returned after a long injury-induced lay off to face and beat interim champion Carlos Condit and Johny Hendricks stopped Martin Kampmann to establish himself as the clear number one contender to the St. Pierre’s belt.

Despite this, St. Pierre lobbied to face the suspended Nick Diaz, who had a shot against St. Pierre but then gave it because of, you know, reasons, lost to Carlos Condit and then tested positive for marijuana metabolites. Diaz will indeed get another crack at St. Pierre on March 16th in Montreal, assuming he decides to pick up a phone for media conference calls and make all his flights, and Hendricks will risk his earned #1 contender status against Jake Ellenberger on the same night.

Speaking to MMA Fighting this weekend, Hendricks said that the UFC made him take the Ellenberger fight and stuck to his “Georges is running scared,” line. “Man, he’s scared,” Hendricks said.

(Eat your heart out, Benson.) 

On the heels of the most successful UFC debut since Todd Duffee, former CagePotato guest blogger and master of the post-fight celebration, Ryan Jimmo, has just been booked for his second bout in the octagon against New Zealand slugger James Te Huna at UFC on FUEL 7. Let’s hope Jimmo’s sophomore appearance goes a little better than The Duffman’s, because Te Huna packs a hell of a lot more power than Mike Russow does. In fact, three out of Te Huna’s four UFC victories have come by some form of brutal (T)KO, with the lone exception being his record-setting performance against Joey Beltran, who has a chin made of the kind of granite that only Lavar Johnson‘s Hulk hands have been able to break.

Currently riding a 17 fight win streak that includes victories over such UFC veterans as Wilson Gouveia, Marvin Eastman, and Sokoudjou among others, Jimmo is undoubtedly one of the hotter prospects to enter the UFC’s light heavyweight division, but he will have his hands full with Te Huna, who has rapidly been developing his ground game to balance out his striking prowess. Who do you like for this one, Taters?

Also on tap for UFC on FUEL 7 is a welterweight battle featuring your favorite Icelandic cyborg, Gunnar Nelson…

(“Perfect, Rory, now we can finally finish our conversation about Huey Lewis and the News that you are always going on about.”) 

Rory MacDonald has the kind of lifeless, black eyes that would make Dr. Sam Loomis shiver at night. For an example of this, see his post-fight call-out of Carlos Condit at UFC on FOX 5, in which he delivered a speech so precise and monotone that it begged audiences to ask whether or not he had practiced it over and over and over again on the collection of flesh-covered marionettes he keeps locked in that one room in his house with a deadbolt on the door.

Obviously shaken up by MacDonald’s speech was that of Dana White, who, fearing he would end up as a bald cap on one of those marionettes, caved into Rory’s demands faster than the French in insert war of your choice here. So just five days out from his dominant win over B.J. Penn, MacDonald has already been booked to rematch the ironically-nicknamed “Natural Born Killer” in Condit at UFC 158 in Montreal. The man responsible for both MacDonald’s only professional loss and the shrine of hair and blood samples that looms over the Canadian’s fireplace, Condit is fresh off a title-losing bid to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 154. Condit and MacDonald first met at UFC 115, where despite stealing the first two rounds, “Ares” found himself eating elbow sammiches for the majority of the third until referee Kevin Dornan called a stop to the bout with just seven seconds remaining. It is no coincidence that Kevin Dornan has been missing ever since.

And speaking of people getting exactly what they wanted, it looks like GSP will likely be defending his title against rival Nick Diaz at the same event, although according to Dana White, the “deal isn’t done yet.” Diaz’s manager, Cesar Gracie, confirmed that the former Strikeforce welterweight champion has been offered the bout, but if you ask us, we’d recommend that you save your excitement for the moment these two are actually staring at each other from across the cage. Celebrating before that is simply setting yourself up for disappointment.

In other fight booking news…

(Barao puts one upside Faber’s head at UFC 149. Photo via Jeff McIntosh/The Canadian Press)

The interim bantamweight title fight between Renan Barao and challenger Michael McDonald will go down at UFC on FUEL 7, February 16th at London’s Wembley Arena. UFC UK confirmed the news earlier today, and revealed a crop of supporting fights. They are…

- Paul Sass vs. Danny Castillo (LW): The British two-trick pony took his first career loss against Matt Wiman in September, while Team Alpha Male member Castillo had a three-fight win streak snapped in October when he was KO’d by Michael Johnson.

- Terry Etim vs. Renee Forte (LW): Inactive since becoming a permanent part of Edson Barboza’s highlight reel in January, Etim returns from injuries to face TUF Brazil castmember Renee Forte, who just suffered his first official UFC loss when he was submitted by Sergio Moraes at UFC 153.

- Andy Ogle vs. Josh Grispi (FW): Grispi is on a three-fight losing streak, while TUF: Live castmember Ogle lost his official UFC debut in a decision against Akira Corassani in September. Oh, you bet your ass it’s “win or go home” time.

(Even in the off-season, the dude stays in killer shape. Props: @ryanbader)

We’ve got four new UFC fight announcements for you this morning. If you begin to feel overwhelmed, just remember your safe word, and pray that I have mercy on you, you worthless little dung beetle.

- As first reported by ESPN, light-heavyweights Ryan Bader and Vladimir Matyushenko will meet at UFC on FOX 6: Johnson vs. Dodson, January 26th in Chicago. Both guys are returning from being smashed in their last fights: Bader suffered a knockout loss to Lyoto Machida in August, while the Janitor has been sidelined due to injury since being TKO’d by Alexander Gustafsson last December.

- MMAWeekly reports that streaking heavyweights Stefan Struve and Mark Hunt will meet at the UFC’s next Japan event — UFC on Fuel 8, March 2nd at the Saitama Super Arena. The beanpole Dutchman and stocky Kiwi were originally scheduled to meet at UFC 146 back in May, but Hunt was forced to pull out of the fight on short notice with a knee injury.

A proven fight-finisher, Struve has stopped his last four opponents in the Octagon (Pat Barry, Dave Herman, Lavar Johnson, and Stipe Miocic), while Hunt has earned victories over his last three (Chris Tuchscherer, Ben Rothwell, and Cheick Kongo). Though Hunt will enjoy a sort of home-field advantage — he’s had nine previous MMA fights at the Saitama Super Arena, while Struve will be making his Japanese debut — he will also be giving up 13 inches (!) in height.

(Ladies, you are not prepared to deal with Matt’s “O-face.” You just aren’t.) 

Matt Riddle is on the fast track to replacing Michael Phelps as the most motivated stoner on the planet Earth, you guys. After fighting just once in 2011, Riddle put together a 3-1 record in 2012 (well, 2-1 and 1 NC if you’ve ever sucked dick for weed before) and already has his first fight for 2013 lined up. The man with one of the sunniest dispositions in the sport will be taking on butter-toothed Brit Che “Beautiful” Mills at UFC on FUEL 7, which goes down from the Wembley Arena in London, England on February 16th.

On the heels of a disappointing victory via injury over Duane Ludwig at UFC on FUEL 5, Mills will be looking to extend his octagon record to 3-1 with a victory over Riddle, who is fresh off a unanimous decision victory over John Maguire at UFC 154. Although Riddle has developed for putting on exciting brawls in his last few performances, he might want to avoid these kind of shenanigans against a power striker like Mills, who proved to Rick Flair-impersonator Chris Cope that he is not a fan of theatrics in his UFC debut.

(Overeem and Silva [2nd and 3rd from left], back when they were just a couple of hungry up-and-comers, competing in something called a ‘Strikeforce’. / Photo via FCFighter.com)

The UFC has confirmed that heavyweight behemoth Alistair Overeem will return to the Octagon at UFC 156: Aldo vs. Edgar (February 2nd, Las Vegas), where he’ll face Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva. According to UFC.com, the bout “has been scheduled pending licensing approval of Overeem by the Nevada State Athletic Commission. That decision will be finalized in early 2013.”

Overeem’s most recent appearance was at UFC 141 last December, where he smoked Brock Lesnar in the first round. Following that fight, Overeem was booked to challenge Junior Dos Santos for the UFC heavyweight title, but failed a random NSAC drug test in stupendous fashion, and was barred from licensing for nine months. Overeem blamed the test result on “an anti-inflammatory medication that was mixed with testosterone” prescribed by his doctor, which ranks just below Antonio Silva’s “I took a testosterone-booster for my acromegaly” excuse on the believability scale. (Yes, the winner of this fight will be a former steroid suspect, and so will the loser.) Overeem will be able to re-apply for licensure in Nevada next month.

(We know, Clay, we had a hard time watching your last fight too.) 

It’s looking like the crippling power of this year’s injury curse is going to be tested early come 2013, because the UFC’s first major network event of the year is currently stacked with more budding talent than a Miss Teen USA pageant. Aside from the Cerrone/Pettis, Jackson/Teixeira, and Dodson/Johnson fights that were announced earlier this week, the UFC has recently announced that Clay Guida will be making his featherweight debut against Hatsu Hioki at the same event as well.

Guida’s last performance saw him channel Steve Prefontaine for the majority of five rounds against Gray Maynard at UFC on FX 4, earning him his second straight loss at lightweight following his much more exciting loss to current champion Benson Henderson at the inaugural UFC on FOX event.

Despite the fact that he is coming off a close decision loss to Ricardo Lamas at the same event, there’s no denying that Hioki is still considered to be one of the top contenders at 145, so a win over Hatsu is not only essential for Guida — he has never dropped three straight in his MMA career — but would easily launch him up the list of potential contenders to boot. Let’s just hope he brings a more aggressive strategy against Hioki or we could be in for a long three rounds.

Also booked for UFC on FOX 6…

(P-p-please, Ben! Don’t knock me out! You’re making a big mistake!)

Although none of the bouts have been officially confirmed by the UFC as of this writing, it looks like the UFC will be sticking with their time-tested method of stacking its foreign cards with local fighters, as Brazilian’s Gabriel Gonzaga, Diego Nunes, Milton Viera, and Iuri Alcantara have been booked to face Ben Rothwell, Nik Lentz, Godofredo Castro, and Johnny Eduardo, respectively, at an unnamed event scheduled for Janurary 19th in Brazil.

Rothwell vs. Gonzaga is probably the biggest fight out of the four that us non-Brazilians can get excited about. Both men are big heavyweights who aren’t afraid to throw leather and have knockout power when they choose to do so. Although Gonzaga has relied heavily upon his grappling base (and rightfully so) since un-retiring and returning to the UFC, it’s only a matter of time before we see “Napao” revert to the whimsically hopeful striker that we came to know and love in his victories over Mirko Cro Cop and Chris Tuschsererererer’s balls and his losses to Shane Carwin and Junior dos Santos. Speaking of dos Santos, Gonzaga was scheduled to square off against Geronimo dos Santos at UFC 153, but the bout was cancelled when “Mondragon” failed his medical exam due to Hepatitis B (Author’s note: Brazilian prostitutes, they’ll get you every time.). Rothwell, on the other hand, recently saved his UFC career by knocking out Brendan Schaub in hilarious fashion at UFC 145.

(Pierce celebrates after successfully thwarting Mario’s plans with a well-timed barrel.) 

We here at CagePotato have literally taken every possible step in order to rid the MMA world of the great injury curse of 2012: we’ve prayed (lol!), we’ve had our cleaning lady Concepcion rid the office of evil spirits, we’ve resorted to Pagan rituals involving pentagrams, we’ve even had Rex track down “thisredengine” and sacrifice his virginal body to the Gods. And after all that fell flat, we tried to go Freddy Kruger on the curse and simply stop talking about it in the hopes that it would eventually just leave us be and move on to some other, less important sport. Like women’s ______.

But alas, our efforts were a complete failure. In the past few days, at least four fighters have come down with a case of the injury bug, leading to some small yet noticeable changes in several of the UFC’s upcoming cards. And we wonder why even Canadian fans are cautious to buy a ticket these days. (Author’s note: You see, Dana? THIS is what happens when you read from the Necronomicon. Side effects include nausea, meniere’s disease, Saturday night palsy, and possessed hand.) 

We shall begin today’s trip down injury lane with Kyle Noke…

(“What kind of backwards country is this? The game is called Whac-a-Mole, not Whac-a-Capybara, and the animals aren’t supposed to be alive!”)

Just a few hours ago, we promised that a few beautiful knockout videos would successfully help us all blissfully drift into a world where injuries no longer determined both the content of every other CP article and the makeup of every other UFC card, but it seems our vision of an impossibly awesome MMA utopia is merely that…an impossibility.

Be that as it may, some of you might be pleased to hear that amidst the UFC 153 clusterfuck of injuries lies a potential silver lining. According to FightersOnly, who have sited several anonymous sources, a grudge match years in the making between Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen is being looked at as a possible replacement for UFC 153 now that Jose Aldo — or perhaps, the general incompetence of Brazilian drivers — has massacred our dreams of a featherweight title superfight.

Details remain sketchy at the moment, but in a recent interview with Portal do Vale Tudo, Silva stated that he would be more than willing to step up for the good of the UFC and his home country’s fans if asked to do so:

I think fighting in Rio would be great. Under no circumstances could I turn that down. I would love to fight for the crowd in Rio, and if it were against that guy who everybody wants me to face, it would be beautiful.

Spoiler alert: Chael Sonnen is “that guy who everybody wants me to face.”

More on this potential showdown after the jump.

(You have no idea how right you are.) 

What in the name of Science is this bullshit? Fresh off a victory over Marcus LeVesseur at UFC on FUEL 3, it has been announced that the inventor of the deadliest guillotine choke known to man, TUF 12 veteran Cody McKenzie, will be making his featherweight debut at UFC 148, which transpires from the MGM Grand Garden Casino in Las Vegas on July 7th. Welcoming him to 145 lbs will be…Chad Mendes? Didn’t he just fight JOSE F’ING ALDO FOR THE F’ING TITLE?! Did McKenzie piss off Dana White, or is this Karma’s way of punishing him for making Josh Koscheck look like even more of a clown on the set of TUF 10? If it’s the latter, then Karma is a dick. A high school Letterman jacket wearing, clove cigarette smoking, man ass motorboating dick.

As we all know, McKenzie has won 11 of his 13 professional victories by way of his signature vice-grip like submission, aptly dubbed “The McKenzietine,” which has earned him a spot amongst the greatest one-trick ponies of all time. Mendes, on the other hand, has never been submitted, and is coming off the first blemish of his career, which came via brutal first round knockout to Aldo. Why it was decided that these two should face off is nothing short of baffling.

Talk about stepping in a turd and turning it into gold. Word broke late last night that Yoshihiro Akiyama suffered an undisclosed injury that has forced him out of his upcoming UFC 149 bout with Thiago Alves. To say that the MMA blogosphere entered a brief yet hysterical state of mourning upon hearing this news would be an understatement…until we found out that Afghanistan-born power puncher Siyar Bahadurzada would be stepping in as his replacement. Then there was much rejoicing.

Bahadurzada is coming off a quick and brutal first round knockout of Paulo Thiago at UFC on FUEL 2, the first stoppage loss of Thiago’s career. The win instantly put the welterweight division on notice, and a victory over Alves would further cement Bahadurzada’s status amongst the division’s elite. To be fair, Alves has been struggling a bit as of late, sandwiching a first round submission win over Papy Abedi at UFC 138 between a decision loss to Rick Story at UFC 130 and a most recent submission loss to Martin Kampmann at UFC on FX 2. Despite the fact that “Pitbull” seemed on his way to a clear cut decision victory in that fight, an ill-timed takedown at the end of the third round provided Kampmann all the leeway he would need to snatch up a fight-ending guillotine choke.

Alves should not have to fear the submission prowess of Bahadurzada coming into this one, as two of his four losses have come by way of submission — the most recent of which was a first round heel hook to Jorge Santiago at Sengoku – Sixth Battle back in 2008. What we’re saying is, expect a brawl, Potato Nation, because what appeared to be a decent scrap at first glance has now been updated to an early candidate for Fight of the Night and/or Knockout of the Night.

Speaking of injury replacements…

(No, I did not buy this belt at Wal-Mart as a joke. Who the hell would do that?) 

After being forced out of his originally anticipated debut match against Karlos Vemola back in January due to a last minute injury, Maximum Fighting Championship Light-Heavyweight king and CP guest blogger Ryan Jimmo finally has a date set for his UFC debut. July 21st, at UFC 149 in Calgary. Since dropping his first professional contest to Adam Braidwood in February of 2007, Jimmo has gone 16 fights in a row without a blemish, most recently outpointing (emphasis on the “point” aspect) UFC veteran Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou in October of 2011. Jimmo also holds notable victories over Wilson Gouveia, Marvin Eastman, and Jesse Forbes. He also does one hell of a robot.

(Wait…it’s already been FIVE YEARS since these two last fought?!!) 

Trilogy fever has officially struck Zuffa.

Word has it that lightweight scrappers Sam Stout and Spencer Fisher will meet for a third time at UFC on FX 4 this June, in a fight that will be an early front runner for “Fight of the Night” to say the least. Both Fisher and Stout are coming off losses to Thiago Tavares, so it seems a good a time as any to have these two square off once again, because MMA fans eat up rematches like fried Kool-aid nowadays.

Fisher and Stout last met way back at UFN 10 in June of 2007, where Fisher was able to erase the memory of his split decision, “Fight of the Year” earning loss to Stout at UFC 58 by walking away with a close but unanimous decision victory. As of late, however, Fisher has descended further down the lightweight ladder with each performance, to the point that he could be fighting for his job come June 22nd. He has dropped 4 of his last 5, with the lone win coming by way of UD over UFC washout Curt “The War” Warburton at UFC 120. Yes, you read that correctly; Curt Warburton’s nickname is “The War.” What a crafty SOB.

Stout has seen quite a bit more success recently, scoring wins in 4 of his last 6, including a first round starching of Yves Edwards at UFC 131 last year. After his long time trainer and close friend Shawn Tompkins suddenly passed away, however, Stout pulled out of his bout with Dennis Siver to do some “soul searching” along with fellow Team Tompkins members Chris Horodecki and Mark Hominick. Upon returning to the octagon, the aftereffects of such a tragic loss were still noticeable, as both Stout and Hominick suffered defeats to Tavares and Chan Sung Jung, respectively.

In other fight booking news…

(Dammit! This was so much easier to escape in the video game!)  

On the heels of two straight submission via rear-naked choke losses courtesy of Joe Lauzon and Jim Miller, former “top contender” Melvin Guillard’s stock is probably at an all time low. The UFC, likely recognizing Melvin’s need to step up his ground game or GTFO, are not cutting him any slack, as they have paired him against 3rd degree (uh-oh) BJJ black belt (not good) under Royler Gracie (dear God) Fabricio Camoes. The worst part: Camoes is coming off a submission by rear-naked choke victory at UFC on FX: Guillard vs. Miller.

Game. Set. Soon.

Look, we’ve got mad respect for Melvin Guillard; how can you not love someone whose idea of avoiding the takedown is repeatedly throwing flying knees? But this does not look good for “The Young Assassin,” who may very well get the boot if he is submitted for the seventh time in his UFC career come July 7th. Come on Zuffa, you can’t even give him some low-level nobody to squash first?

Matter of fact, it looks to us like the UFC is trying to punish each and every member of The Blackzilians for Anthony Johnson’s colossal mistake. Have the Zuffa attorneys not informed DW and Joe Silva that judging a certain group of people based on one isolated incident is considered profiling, and could lead to a huge backlash from said group? If we could think of any examples from American history, say from around the 1960′s, that could possibly help prove this point, we would. Unfortunately, no such example exists. Perhaps we’re just lucky.

Join us after the jump for a ton of fight booking news…

(Etim and Lauzon, seen here demonstrating the Tomax and Xamot effect.) 

Two lightweights will be looking to bounce back from horrific, nightmare-inducing losses and vie for the love of their malnourished alien overlord when Joe Lauzon takes on Terry Etim at UFC on Fox 4, which goes down on August 4th from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California.

The last time we saw Etim in action, he fell victim to, and in fact helped spawn the idea behind, the “Falling Tree” knockout, when he was leveled via a spinning heel-kick compliments of Edson Barboza at UFC 142. The fight was only Etim’s second in as many years, as he spent most of the 2010-2011 season nursing a rib injury that forced him out of a match with, you guessed it, Joe Lauzon, at UFC 118. He was replaced by Gabe Rudiger for that event, and we all know how that ended up. Etim finally made his return at UFC 138 in England, where he submitted Edward Faaloloto with a guillotine in just 16 seconds. The victory earned Etim his fourth “Submission of the Night” award in his ten fight career under the Zuffa banner.

Lauzon is also coming off a devastating head kick KO loss– his coming against top lightweight contender Anthony Pettis in their main card scrap at UFC 144. Prior to that, Lauzon had put together a two fight win streak over Kurt Warburton (via kimura) at UFC Live: Kongo vs. Barry and Melvin Guillard (via rear-naked choke) at UFC 136. Lauzon has never lost two in a row in his UFC career, and Etim hasn’t since dropping back-to-back contests to Gleison Tibau and Rich Clementi at UFC 75 and 84, respectively.

I feel compelled to reiterate that the similarities between these two is nothing short of suspect. Both are coming off head kick knockout losses, both are SOTN savants, and both look like the offspring of Christopher Walken and a hairless Aye-Aye. Could it be that these two were separated at birth, destined to fight for the right to rule all of mankind somewhere down the road? Or are these mere coincidences? I suppose it all really depends on which type of person you are.

While you take a moment to reconsider everything your futile religion taught you to believe, join us after the jump for more fight booking news…

(Yeah Dan, we’re stoked for the new Cung Le/Jean-Claude Van Damme movie too!) 

It looks like Demian Maia won’t be the only one making his welterweight debut in the near future.

Featuring a main event clash between top lightweight contenders Clay Guida and Gray Maynard, the UFC on FX 4 card is really starting to take shape, adding four more fights in the welterweight division last night. It seems a little odd that this plethora of fights have been added when the UFC on FX 3 card, which goes down two weeks earlier, has confirmed only two fights thus far. Then again, if we were in charge of matchmaking, Pat Barry would fight every weekend and Rousey/Caraway would already be booked.

But back to the welterweights. Yes, it appears that our buddy Dan Miller will be back in action at UFC on FX 4, and in fact will be making his welterweight debut when he takes on Ricardo Funch. Miller has not fought since his clusterfuck of a fight against Rousimar Palhares at UFC 134 that saw Palhares leap onto the cage in premature celebration, only to be talked off the proverbial tower by Herb Dean. Upon re-entering the octagon, Palhares was almost immediately KO’d by Miller, but managed to gather the few remaining marbles in his brain to pull out a unanimous decision victory. The loss was Miller’s second in a row and fifth of his last seven. But given Miller’s tendency to put on exciting fights, we don’t imagine a loss here will cost him his job. The same cannot be said for Funch, however, who has dropped all three of his UFC appearances to Johny Hendricks, Claude Patrick, and Mike Pyle.

Also set for the fourth FX card will be a welterweight tilt between submission specialist T.J. Waldburger and manscaping aficionado Brian Ebersole. Waldburger has scored a pair of brilliant back-to-back victories in his last two UFC appearances, leaping into a triangle against Mike Stumpf in September before notching a lightning quick armbar of Jake Hecht at UFC on FX 2: Kampmann vs. Alves earlier this month. He will be facing a tough test in Ebersole, who is riding a 10 fight win streak including three straight in the UFC over Chris Lytle, Dennis Hallman‘s balls, and Claude Patrick.

Nothing against Waldburger, but we’re kind of pulling for Ebersole in light of recent events.

And in other UFC on FX 4 news…

(As Mighty Mouse looked into the crowd to see his wife flirting with another man, a deep seated rage began to boil inside him.) 

After a judging error in the UFC’s first ever flyweight match between Demetrious Johnson and Ian McCall robbed us of a much needed sudden death fourth round at UFC on FX 2: Kampmann vs. Alves, many of us took it as a sign that the 125 lb. division was ultimately doomed to fail. Perhaps that was a bit of an overreaction, but now we can all rest at ease, because the rematch between these two scrappy contenders has officially been booked for UFC on FX 3, which goes down on June 8th from a location TBD.

Now, we here at CP understand more than anyone that mistakes can happen, but for fuck’s sake, someone please assign a judge who can count to 30 this time around. As we’ve all griped over, the first meeting between McCall and Johnson was originally scored a split decison victory for “Mighty Mouse.” Considering how badly he was dominated by “Uncle Creepy” in the third round, this decision seemed as if it was destined to go down as one of the worst robberies in the history of the sport. Again, maybe we were overreacting, but thankfully, the error was quickly overturned, and the fight was declared a draw. Its good to know that we can now move past this debacle in as timely a manner as possible, lest we end up with a Strikeforce Heavyweight tournament situation again.

Join us after the jump for more fight booking news.

(I’ll take “Injuries that make me reconsider my line of work” for a thousand, Alex.) 

Good morning, Potato Nation. As we’re all still nursing hangovers from this weekend’s festivities and trying to cope with the fact that there will be no more The Walking Dead until next fall, let’s start the day off with a bit of light reading.

Firstly, a math teacher from Ohio and a movie star from South Vietnam have been booked to throw down at UFC 148, which features the completion of the Dominick Cruz/Urijah Faber trilogy as its headliner, and goes down from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on June 7th.

What’s that, you say? Rich Franklin is also a movie star and Cung Le could probably teach math? Well, there’s no room for that kind of intolerance around here, especially not this early in the morning, so we suggest you pull your heads out of your collective asses. Besides, Rich Franklin is definitely not a movie star.

This will be Franklin’s first fight at middleweight since April of 2008, when he dispatched TUF 4 winner Travis Lutter via second round TKO back at UFC 83. In fact, it’s been a while since we’ve seen “Ace” in the octagon at all. After dropping a unanimous decision to Forrest Griffin at UFC 126, Franklin was expected to face Antonio Rogerio Nogueria at UFC 133. The bout was cancelled, however, after Nogueria suffered a last minute injury, and a subsequent shoulder injury forced Franklin into surgery in October.

Cung Le appeared to be destined for victory in his UFC debut match against Wanderlei Silva at UFC 139 last November, picking apart the former PRIDE middleweight champ with his patented arsenal of San Shou kicks throughout the first round. But as in his fight with Scott Smith at Strikeforce: Evolution, Le would snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, eating one knee too many in the second round and dropping his second career loss to “The Axe Murderer” in the second round of their co-headlining scrap. Also similar to the Smith fight would be the horrific nose injury that Le would walk away with.

In other fight booking news…

TATAME.com is reporting that UFC lightweight Dennis Hallman has pulled out of his
upcoming bout with TUF 13 winner Tony Ferguson. While the details are still up in the air, it appears that Hallman has suffered an injury while training. Replacing him at UFC on FOX 3 will be Thiago Tavares.

Since winning The Ultimate Fighter 13, Tony Ferguson has gone 2-0 in the UFC. His most recent victory has been a unanimous decision over veteran Yves Edwards at the TUF 14 Finale in December. During the same time period, Thiago Tavares has also gone 2-0, with his victories coming against Spencer Fisher and Sam Stout. This bout will mark the first
time that Tavares has fought on American soil in over a year, as both of his previous fights have taken place in Rio de Janeiro at UFC 134 and UFC 142. His last fight in America saw him lose to Shane Roller by second round knockout at UFC on Versus 3: Sanchez vs. Kampmann last March.

UFC on FOX 3 will go down on May 5 at the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The full fight card now looks like this: