(This is why you should always wear a helmet when doing yes cartwheels.)

After his run at the UFC’s lightweight title ended in bloody failure, Diego Sanchez has decided to recommit himself to his most successful weight class. On Tuesday, the Nightmare confirmed via Twitter that he is indeed returning to welterweight, and will be taking on undefeated British prospect John Hathaway at UFC 114 (May 29th; Las Vegas). Sporting a 12-0 overall record, Hathaway made his Octagon debut last January with a first-round TKO over Thomas Egan, and followed it up with unanimous decision wins over Rick Story and Paul Taylor. The kid’s got moxie, but he’s never fought anybody on Sanchez’s level. Our advice? Try to do exactly what BJ Penn did.

UFC 114 is tentatively being headlined by the long-delayed grudge match between Rashad Evans and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson. Other rumored fights on the card include:

—Forrest Griffin vs. Antonio Rogerio Nogueria, which was originally slated for UFC 113 in Montreal, but has apparently been pushed back three weeks.

— Todd Duffee vs. Mike Russow; both fighters are looking to pick up their second wins in the UFC. Due to a back injury suffered in November, Duffee hasn’t competed since his seven-second knockout of Tim Hague at UFC 102. Russow also made his UFC debut at #102, earning a unanimous decision over Justin McCully.

(If you’re trying to find the pro fighter in this picture, look for the guy who is not wearing sunglasses at night.)

As part of their effort to make Cain Velasquez the MMA ambassador to the Hispanic community that Roger Huerta never quite became, the UFC sent out a press release today touting Velasquez’s appearance at tonight’s Latin Grammy Awards (8 pm EST on Univision).  Velasquez also filmed a short video segment with Puerto Rican reggaeton duo Wisin & Yandel (I had to do some googling to confirm that these are actual musical artists; the story checks out) that will lead off the broadcast.  So if you don’t want to watch the whole thing, but you want to see Cain riding around in a Porsche with the two slicksters in the above photo, you can get in and get out even if you have no idea what’s being said (hint: they’re probably all talking about you, and you have no idea).

In related news, recent Velasquez-victim Ben Rothwell is rumored to be taking on Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic at the UFC’s inaugural event in Australia on February 21.  We know, we know, didn’t Cro Cop retire because he didn’t have the game in him no more?  Turns out he wants another trip through the meat grinder, and Rothwell would be a pretty perfect opponent to give him one.  Both guys are fond of kicking and punching people, and both still need to prove themselves in the UFC.  And what the hell, the Australians have behaved themselves lately, so they deserve a little Rothwell-Cro Cop action.  We have to forgive those poor bastards for Men at Work some time.  They suffered just as much as we did.

(Josh Neer: just a hairless orangutan trying to make it in this big, bad world.)

It was hardly surprising to see Josh Neer get the boot from the UFC after his decision loss against Gleison Tibau at UFC 104, and it’s even less surprising that his manager, Mickey Dubberly of KO Dynasty, issued a statement to assure the throng of Neer fans that “The Dentist” would be back in the UFC as soon as he wins a couple in the minor leagues.  But what’s oddly telling is the rationale Dubberly used to make it seem as though Neer was the aggrieved party in all this, and how similar that rationale is to Neer’s attitude in his last two losing efforts in the UFC:

Unfortunately Josh was matched up with fighters that wanted to take him down and lay on him to grind out a victory. If you are going to take Josh down then at least try to finish him, just don’t lay on him and hold him down. Most fighters are not going to want to stand and bang with Josh, and they just want to play it safe, hold him down, and get the win. Josh wants to put on exciting fights, and there is nothing more frustrating to Josh than not to put on an exciting fight for the fans. Right now we have a few offers from different organizations that want to sign Josh immediately so we are just weighing our options, and going with the best opportunity for Josh. Josh will be back in the UFC after he wins a few fights outside the UFC. We appreciate all the support Josh’s fans have given him.

You know that annoyed face Neer started making every time he was taken down by Tibau in his last fight, and by Kurt Pellegrino in the fight before that?  This statement is basically that facial expression put into words.

Unless Jon Fitch is just screwing with us by purposely spreading false information, it seems like he will not be fighting Ricardo Almeida at UFC 106 on November 21.  Fitch announced via Twitter that Almeida had injured his knee and been forced to pull out of the bout, so Fitch will get “a bigger, better fight instead.”  If you’re wondering how the UFC got a big star to agree to face Fitch on a month’s notice, don’t.  Fitch says the bout has been moved to a later date, which flings the door open wide to allow almost any UFC welterweight to walk in.  So before we speculate wildly we must ask ourselves: who would Fitch’s fans have wanted to see him fight for a long time? 

(For the sake of perspective, let’s recall how "The Simpsons" has portrayed the boxing world in the past.)

Here’s a newsflash for you.  Remember that MMA-themed episode of “The Simpsons” that we were pleasantly surprised with, if only because it wasn’t as hackneyed and completely unfunny as every episode of the show for the last six or seven years has been?  Well, UFC president Dana White wasn’t laughing, and not just because he lacks the ability to find anything funny if it doesn’t involve someone getting shocked:

"I was disappointed," White says. "I think it was typical of people that don’t know anything about the sport. I know it’s for fun, but the second half of it really wasn’t even funny. …We like fighting.  But to make it sound like the UFC crowd is this bloodthirsty crowd that shows up and just want to see people get their (butts) kicked — that’s not true. That’s the stigma that the mainstream has of us. … The Simpsons program will show you how mainstream we’re not.” 

While it’s hard to argue with DW when he says that the portrayal of MMA and its fans on a cartoon comedy was a little reductive and not 100% accurate, it seems like he’s missing the point.  This is an over-the-top attempt at satire.  When “The Simpsons” does shows on anything – even mainstream sports like football or baseball – accurate representation is not the goal.  For instance, there’s this:

(Your problem now, Indiana.)

Well, this is probably a bad sign.  Just a week after being fired from the UFC for an assault arrest following what may or may not have been a suicide attempt, Junie Allen Browning is wasting no time getting back into action. The mercurial lightweight reportedly has a bout set for November 28 at MMA Big Show: Onslaught at the Belterra Casino in Florence, Indiana.  Browning will be taking on 1-0 Ohio-based fighter Scott Cornwell, and he’ll be doing it just across the state line from his hometown of Lexington, Kentucky.

According to MMA Big Show owner/promoter Jason Appleton, who wrote the website article in which he quoted himself, “’I’ve seen Junie fight in Louisville, KY back in the day as an amateur and he always put on a hell of a show. Him and his brother were always fun to watch,’ explains Jason Appleton.”

Yep, we’re just going to act like nothing unusual at all is going on here.  That always works out for the best.

(Props: ComingSoon.net)

As "Rampage" Jackson ponders a film career at the expense of a fighting one, he may want to take a look at Randy Couture‘s recent work in "The Expendables."  Granted, this is just the trailer, but Couture has all of one line in it (no action movie is complete without someone uttering, "We’ve got company"), and he doesn’t even get called out at the end with the rest of the crew.  Think of it as a glimpse into your future, ‘Page.  The MMA world may think of you as a star, but to the general movie-going audience you’re just another dude who works cheap and can act well enough in short bursts.

Other than that, thoughts on the trailer?  Sure, it looks formulaic and incredibly derivative, but part of the appeal of an action movie like this is that you know exactly what you’re going to get.  I swear, though, if I go see this thing and Jet Li gets to hack his way through more lines than Couture (who plays a character named "Toll Road"), I’m going to be seriously disappointed.

(Props: MMA TKO)

We haven’t heard much out of Rich Franklin since his TKO loss to Vitor Belfort at UFC 103, but recently his manager popped up to complain about the illegal blows “Ace” suffered at the very end of the fight.  While J.T. Stewart insists that this is not about “sour grapes,” he says he’s disappointed that everyone saw fit to overlook what he saw as a series of illegal blows just before the stoppage, and wonders why there wasn’t a break in the action due to the blows to the back of Franklin’s head:

“Would it have changed the outcome?  Maybe not. But this is about fighter safety. This isn’t just about Rich Franklin; it’s about Rich and every other fighter knowing the rules will be enforced, whether the fight is about to be stopped or not. … “There’s been no discussion about it.  None. It’s a disappointing [sic]. The commissions, referees, fighters – everyone could have improved the safety of the sport by examining and discussing this situation. But because most people thought the outcome was a foregone conclusion, everyone conveniently ignored it."

That’s one assessment of the situation.  The other is that, as illegal blows go, this is a bit of a gray area. 

(Is Mitrione dumb, or too smart for your tiny brain to even comprehend?)

Matt Mitrione got a lot of heat for his inability to keep a secret on last night’s episode of “The Ultimate Fighter,” and his less than compelling ‘switch it up’ defense may have resulted in him coming off as, for lack of a better word, a complete idiot.  But don’t be fooled, Mitrione says in his FightMagazine.com blog, for all is not as it seems:

I’m the villain of tonight’s episode but reality TV isn’t always real. Because of the nature of the show I can’t get into the details right now but it’s safe to say that Scott Junk threw me under the bus. …I found out that Justin Wren was going to fight Scott Junk and for reasons I can’t get into right now I told Junk. For some reason he told Wren and then he gets on the f***in’ video and calls me a f***in’ meathead who can’t control his mouth.

(Whaddaya say, Royce. Wanna do it again?)

Matt Hughes may not know exactly what he wants to do with the new four-fight contract that he signed with the UFC, but he definitely knows what he doesn’t want to do.  Fights with young welterweight up-and-comers like Josh Koscheck and Mike Swick?  Not interested.  A third chance at getting his first victory over Denis Hallman?  No thanks.  How about simply completing the entire four-fight deal?  No guarantees there, either.  So what the hell does Hughes want to do with the remainder of his career?  I don’t know, you got any more washed-up legends laying around?

As far as who I fight next? You know, looking at these younger kids who are wanting to come in and be the next world champion or be the next contender, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know if I’ll take on those guys.  There are plenty of older guys out there with big names who can fight, too. I like to take fights where I’ve got something to win. If I take a fight against Mike Swick or Josh Kosheck, I’ve really got nothing to gain from that fight besides a paycheck and beating somebody up. They’ve got more to win than I do. Those aren’t the kinds of fights that interest me.

Royce Gracie was a big fight, you know? It was a huge name, a guy that had won the old tournaments in the beginning. Those are the fights I like, the ones I can really get revved up for and get motivated. Those are the kinds of fights that gets me into the gym ready to train and work.