(Remember the good old days? Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

No, there is absolutely nothing sarcastic about the title of this article. Michael Bisping, who has the ability to sound like a total asshole even while saying things that many fans agree with, has respectfully released a statement on a hot-button issue. He has managed to disagree with other side without playing the role of a cocky British stereotype. I’m being dead serious.

On Friday, Bisping took to his website to release an official statement about Vitor Belfort’s testosterone replacement therapy usage for their fight at UFC on FX 7. As you may remember, following the event there was much speculation that Belfort may have failed his drug test due to information being leaked that one of the fighters from the card pissed hot. Even though the news regarding the actual fighter who failed his drug test turned out to be rather anti-climactic (read: not Belfort), many people feel that TRT has no place in MMA, including Michael Bisping.

Here’s his official statement, in all of it’s non-dickish glory:

(Hey, you can’t blame Vitor for following in the footsteps of his lord and savior.) 

File this one under “News that absolutely no one should be surprised about.”

We knew something had to be up from the moment Vitor Belfort gave his incoherent, rambling, Animal Farm-esque response when questioned about whether or not he had hopped on the TRT bandwagon currently sweeping through MMA. Either Belfort just really, really feared being ostracized from his future bridge group at the UFC retirement home — the Ultimate Fusspot CareCenter — or he was simply feeding the interviewer whatever thoughts he could string together whilst trying to find the nearest exit. And now that the drug test results for UFC on FX 7 have come back, the UFC would like you to know that Belfort was definitely doing the latter.

Earlier today, UFC officials confirmed that Belfort did in fact receive a therapeutic use exemption for testosterone replacement therapy in the weeks leading up to his main event bout against Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7. But fret not, for his post-fight test “did not indicate the presence of any prohibited substance for increasing performance improvement.” Thank de Jesus for that.

(Don’t worry, it’s the guy on the bottom. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)

Relax, Potato Nation, we can all rest assured knowing that Vitor Belfort did in fact beat the colon cannonballs out of Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7 without needing a banned substance to do so (Author’s note: Not that we would judge him if he did. Because when you judge someone, it sounds like you are a God. And we live in a freedom country, where you are either a Republican or a Democrat. Who is right?). And while that’s all well and good, one of the tests from the event did come back positive, as Dana White had mentioned earlier this week.

According to Brazilian news outlet Tatame, the fighter who pissed dirty at UFC on FX 7 was…Thiago Tavares:

After many rumors, the results of doping tests UFC Sao Paulo left [Note: Fucking Google translate, I tell you]. According to TATAME, the name of the athlete caught is Thiago Tavares. Our sources, however, need not know the substance used for light weight. His suspension will be nine months.

Yep, the guy we last saw eating Khabib Nurmagomedov’s elbows like they were acarajes is the one who got popped for what we can only assume is some kind of steroid. It kind of makes sense when you realize that Tavares regularly drops 20 pounds in between fights to fulfill his double life as salsa artist Marc Anthony.

(Belfort is not a “TRT abuser,” okay? He has always treated TRT with the utmost respect and tenderness. / Photo via RyanLoco.com)

On Friday morning, rumors began to spread that Vitor Belfort had failed a drug test for his UFC on FX 7 headlining fight against Michael Bisping last month. Between Belfort’s stammering recent response about TRT and his previous PED-bust in 2006, it was one of those rumors that immediately gained traction because it seemed perfectly believable. But was there any actual truth to it? Well, we have some good news and some bad news. Here’s what UFC president Dana White had to say when asked about the Belfort rumor following the UFC 156 press-conference on Saturday night (transcribed by MMAWeekly and BloodyElbow):

“There was an irregular test. Something was wrong. Whenever something wrong happens, or weird, (the samples) get retested and, usually, it’s not a good thing. It (expletive) was not Vitor Belfort. Yet, right now I bet if you talked to 100 people, 100 people will tell you that Vitor Belfort failed his drug test in Brazil. That’s (expletive)…I do know the results. They’ll be out Monday… [Ed. note: *checks calendar* Sweet!]

This is Pedro Nobre, the TUF: Brazil alum who made his UFC debut last weekend at UFC on FX 7 against fellow Brazilian Iuri Alcantara. As you can tell from the neck brace he is sporting in the above photo, his debut did not go well. Alcantara landed a few supposedly illegal shots to the back of Nobre’s dome, and likely in an effort to make up for his poor performance during the Alessio Sakara/Patrick Cote debacle at UFC 154, referee Dan Miragliotta waved the bout off and declared it a no contest when Nobre was unable to continue.

The only problem was that 90% of the shots Alcantara landed, if not all of them, were neither illegal nor all that devastating (at least from our perspective), which prompted Dana White to post the following on Twitter:

In fact, White became so enraged by Nobre’s Oscar-worthy performance that he recently all but completely closed the door on Nobre’s future UFC aspirations.

After the jump: White’s scathing comments, along with a gif of the stoppage.

(Photo via vip.abril.com.br. Click for full-size version.)

Following their recent trend of using local ring girl talent for international events, the UFC hired a pair of Brazilian models to add eye candy to this weekend’s UFC on FX 7 card — Camila Rodrigues de Oliveira (who barely exists on the Internet, unfortunately) and Aline Franzoi, a 20-year-old from Guarulhos who hosts some sort of weird kids’ show called Hora Da Festa. We decided to round up some of Aline’s best photos, which we’ve arranged in the gallery after the jump. Enjoy, and see lots more of Aline on her Facebook page.

(Props: YouTube.com/fueltv. Skip to the 0:51 mark for the violence.)

Khabib Nurmagomedov‘s first-round knockout of Thiago Tavares at Saturday’s UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping immediately joined Melendez vs. Kawajiri and Miocic vs. Del Rosario in the pantheon of vicious elbows-from-above MMA finishes. The win also upped Nurmagomedov’s career record to a remarkable 19-0, and represented his third straight win in the Octagon. It’s clear that the Russian Sambo/Judo ace has the potential to make a serious impact in the UFC’s lightweight division. So who should he face next? Well, he’s got an opinion about that.

After the fight, FUEL TV’s Heidi Androl talked to “The Eagle” about his ball-busting t-shirt at the weigh-ins and his training at American Kickboxing Academy. Nurmagomedov also mentioned that he really wants to face Nate Diaz in his next fight. It was a smart bit of post-fight matchmaking, as a meeting with Diaz could give Nurmagomedov the exposure that he’ll need to break into the title mix.

On the other hand, Diaz might not want to face a relative newcomer without much name value. (As with the frequently-ducked Glover Teixeira, there just isn’t much upside to fighting a dangerous, non-star like Nurmagomedov.) Though I’m sure Diaz vs. Nurmagomedov would be an entertaining scrap, I wouldn’t be surprised if the UFC books Khabib against another mid-level opponent before letting him in the cage with Top 5-caliber competition. Any other ideas on who Nurmagomedov should take on next?

Let’s make two things clear from the beginning: Vitor Belfort is an amazing fighter, and an equally terrible trash talker. He demonstrated both of these things on Saturday night, with both his brilliant finish of Michael Bisping and his callout of Jon Jones immediately afterwards.

Of course, Jon Jones is a little busy at the moment, getting ready for Chael Sonnen and all. Belfort addresses this by asking Dana White to “Take that clown away” so he could have his rematch with Jones instead of having Bones fight Sonnen in the spring.

No one is here to say that Belfort can’t beat Sonnen in the cage – especially at light-heavyweight – but “The Phenom” doesn’t exactly live up to his nickname when it comes to trash talking. Even though I wouldn’t count Belfort’s post-fight interview as a callout of Chael Sonnen, the clown comment definitely left a sour taste in his mouth. Sonnen wasted no time responding to Belfort’s comments, using his commentary gig on the post-event FUEL TV broadcast to issue the following statements:

(Now that we’ve settled our differences, Michael, I’d like to tell you about a friend of mine)

By Elias Cepeda

If Michael Bisping’s trash-talking mouth didn’t write checks that his fists couldn’t cash so often it’s very likely he’d be known as a British MMA pioneer with incredible work ethic and who improved greatly over the course of his career. Instead, Bisping has done his darndest to mask his real accomplishments by playing up imagined ones.

He’s campaigned, with his mouth, for a title shot for years despite losing to every top-tier fighter he’s faced and being gifted wins over less than top-tier ones. Coming into Saturday’s fight against Vitor Belfort in Sao Paulo Brazil, UFC President Dana White said that Bisping would earn a title shot against Anderson Silva with a win.

At that point, Bisping had a one fight win “streak.” Before that win, a decision against Brian Stann last September that could have easily been scored instead for Stann, Bisping lost to Chael Sonnen – who’s twice been beaten by Silva. Not long before that, Bisping walked away with a win against Jorge Rivera in a fight that he should have, in fact, lost by disqualification for his blatant and repeated fouls. His break-out UFC fight was a ludicrously bad decision win over Matt Hamill.

Every time the UFC has pushed Bisping into a fight with a fighter he’d given no indication he should be in the ring with, he’s lost. He’s said it is his destiny to be a world champion and insulted almost everyone else in his division, yet Bisping has lost to every fighter that had been or would go on to be a world champion that he’s faced.

Rashad Evans, Wanderlei Silva, Dan Henderson and now, Vitor Belfort. Bisping’s win streak is back down to zero after getting TKO’d by Belfort in the second round of their main event Saturday.

Hopefully the talk of him getting a title shot any time soon has also been knocked out.

(That awkward moment when one of your most marketable fighters denies the existence of his opponent’s Lord and Savior. Pretty typical face-off stuff, really. / Photo via MMAJunkie.com)

The last time that Vitor Belfort fought in Sao Paulo, this happened. Fourteen years later, those still-lethal fists are the only thing separating Michael Bisping from the middleweight title shot that has stayed maddeningly out of his reach. So will Belfort triumph in front of his countrymen tonight at the Ibirapuera Arena, or will Bisping defy the haters and take what belongs to him?

Elsewhere on the UFC on FX 7 lineup: Gabriel Gonzaga‘s heavyweight comeback faces its first big test in Ben Rothwell, Khabib Nurmagomedov goes for his 19th-straight victory against Thiago Tavares, and TUF Brazil standout Daniel Sarafian will do his best to defend the relentless takedowns of Massive Doucheface.

Round-by-round updates from the “Belfort vs. Bisping” main card broadcast will be available after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and make the world a little less lonely by tossing your thoughts into the comments section.

(Props to Sportsnet for the vid.)

And now kids, it’s time for some completely necessary last-minute hype for tomorrow’s UFC on FX 7 event, featuring such pros as Matt Brown, Alexander Gustafsson, and flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson making their picks for the main event middleweight showdown between Michael Bisping and Vitor Belfort. The matchup has started to gain a lot steam — thanks in no small part to a particularly intense staredown at the pre-fight press conference yesterday — resulting in the event nearly reaching a sellout despite slow ticket sales in the early going.

The video doesn’t feature too many stars, but the general consensus among them seems to be that if Bisping can survive the early onslaught, he should be able to take a decision over Belfort. Truly a shocking revelation when you realize that half of Belfort’s losses have come via decision and that Bisping has never defeated an upper-echelon opponent by anything else.

But enough small talk. Who do you like for this one and how?

-J. Jones

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

The 22 fighters competing at tomorrow’s UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping event will be hitting the scales shortly at the Ibirapuera Gymnasium in Sao Paulo, and if yesterday’s staredown was any indication, we can expect another tense face-off from the headliners, full of shoulder-shuckin’ and chin-checkin’. Plus, the UFC will unveil a new Brazilian ring girl, fulfilling a promise that has eluded us for years.

Watch the UFC on FX 7 weigh-ins live in the above video player starting at 1 p.m. ET / 10 a.m. PT, and be sure to come back tomorrow night at 9 p.m. ET for our liveblog of the FX main card.

The full weigh-in results are now after the jump.

It’s really tough being Rampage Jackson these days, you guys. Sure, the boatloads of cash, the film and rap “careers,” and the endless string of Bengal tigers just waiting to be dry-humped are nice and all, but they don’t come close to filling the bottomless chasm left behind in Page’s soul by the swindlers and snake oil salesmen over at the UFC. Because beneath Rampage’s tuff (we imagine that is how he would prefer we spell it) exterior lies a kind, sensitive mixed martial artist that just wants his boss to pat him on the head and tell him that he’s proud of what he’s done. And then stop matching him up against fighters who utilize “gameplans,” “strategies,” “takedowns,” and other facets of modern MMA that are best left for trifling bitches.

And even though we haven’t been covering it as extensively as some, Jackson has been vehemently venting his feelings lately. Like, a lot. And by lately, we mean the past two years or so. And wouldn’t you know it, just a couple weeks out from his final contractually obligated fight at UFC on FOX: Johnson vs. Dodson, the UFC is still screwing with the poor guy. Jackson’s most recent lament was passed along by 5thround:

I’m sponsored by Reebok now and the UFC said I’m not allowed to wear Reebok in the cage, when the other fighters are sponsored by Nike and stuff. Why can’t I have Reebok?

Read More ADD COMMENTS (28) DIGG THIS

(“F*ckin’ with your cash is the only thing you kids seem to understand!” / Photo via FCFighter.com)

UFC Vice President of Regulatory Affairs Marc Ratner revealed to MMAJunkie yesterday that the promotion has instituted a pair of new rules to act as deterrents against their fighters using performance enhancing drugs. First, all fighters who compete at international events will now be tested for performance-enhancing drugs. The UFC has traditionally hired independent local facilities to test fighters during events outside of North America, but in the past, only a few fighters per card were usually selected for testing.

The shift in policy may have been spurred by a recent stretch in which the UFC’s independent drug screening busted fighters at three consecutive overseas cards. UFC 153 in Rio de Janeiro — where all fighters were screened for banned substances — resulted in suspensions for Stephan Bonnar (Drostanolone) and Dave Herman (marijuana). A month later, Thiago Silva tested positive for weed at UFC Macao. And finally, Rousimar Palhares and Joey Beltran failed drug tests following UFC on FX 6 in Australia.

The wave of botched tests is an embarrassing trend, and the UFC is clearly trying to get in front of it. Testing all their fighters at international events going forward will send a message to fighters who may have considered rolling the dice with banned substances, thinking that testing policies are a little more lax when formal athletic commissions aren’t running the show.

Unlike the freakish mismatches that plagued last weekend’s Strikeforce show, the odds for this Saturday’s UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping event in Sao Paulo suggest a very competitive lineup of fights. In fact, two of the matches are virtually dead even, with a razor-thin margin between the favorite and the underdog. Here are the betting lines for the FX main card, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Michael Bisping (-103) vs. Vitor Belfort (-107): This is about as close as it gets in MMA betting, though Belfort still comes in as a slight favorite. The line reflects the divide among fans on how the fight will play out — either Bisping will outstrike and outhustle the Phenom to a decision victory, or Belfort will maul Bisping in short order, finishing him via punches-to-the-back-of-head TKO. If you’re leaning strongly towards one of those results, feel free to put your money where your mouth is. But keep in mind that the fight is scheduled for five rounds, which certainly gives Bisping the edge if he manages to survive the first ten minutes.

Ben Rothwell (+100) vs. Gabriel Gonzaga (-110): Another close call in terms of odds, but I’m not sure that Gonzaga should be the slight favorite here. To me, he hasn’t yet shaken his reputation as a can-crusher, while Rothwell’s most recent appearance against Brendan Schaub proved him to be a ferocious finisher, hard to rattle, and in the best physical shape of his career.

(Photo via esporte.uol.com.br)

After burying most of the UFC middleweight division in his last Yahoo! Sports column — including that poor, poor Chris Weidman, who has done nothing to deserve such rough treatment — angry MMA blogger Michael Bisping returned last night with his latest missive, which attacks pretty much every aspect of Vitor Belfort‘s character, from the Brazilian’s physical appearance, to his controversial history of rabbit-punching, to his Rex Ryan-esque affection for his wife’s feet. (Meanwhile, Belfort claims that talking trash is dangerous because it can infect the person doing the talking as much as it can hurt the target. Pffft, whatever!)

Here are some choice highlights from the Count’s latest blog, in order of brutality…

On embarrassing fetishes:
“A fan tweeted me a link to Vitor in some Brazilian reality TV show, a clip where he’s in a bath kissing someone’s feet. [Ed. note: In case you've somehow never seen this clip before, those feet belonged to Vitor's wife, Joana Prado.] It was pretty fruity stuff but, if he enjoyed sucking toes, he’s going to have the time of his life on January 19 because I’m going to kick him in the face all night long.” [Ed. note: You son of a bitch.]

On TRT and illegal punches:
“I’m thinking of asking Randy Couture if I can use him old nickname ‘the Natural’ just to make it clear I’m not one of these guys who is on TRT or any of that junk. Whenever someone asks me if I am on it, I give them a straight answer and if they ask me what I think of TRT I always say: ‘I think it is legalized cheating’…I don’t think it has a place in our sport and wish my opinion — and I think the majority of fans’ opinion — was shared by certain other fighters and the people who regulate our sport.

I was disappointed Vitor Belfort started talking in tongues when asked about TRT recently. He had a little more to say on Monday when he was asked directly about my concerns that all his recent UFC fights were won by illegal punches to the back of the head. In between lengthy references to the New Testament, Belfort basically said he doesn’t care if he hits opponents behind the head…

(Meanwhile in the Kingdom of Heaven, God continued to watch NASCAR. Photo courtesy of The Canadian Press/Nathan Denette)

Four months after his ill-fated light-heavyweight title bid against Jon Jones, Vitor Belfort will be returning to the UFC middleweight division on January 19th to face Michael Bisping in the main event of UFC on FX 7. Though he’s well into his 16th year of professional MMA competition, Belfort insists that he’s never felt so good in his entire life. Obviously, that particular fighter-cliche has become so overused that it’s virtually meaningless. But if the Phenom is telling the truth, maybe there’s a reason for it. And so, ESPN’s Brett Okamoto pointed out the elephant in the room during an interview published yesterday. Hilarity ensued:

ESPN: Some fighters in their 30s have been diagnosed with low testosterone levels and received exemptions to use testosterone replacement therapy [TRT]. Have you ever applied for TRT or would you consider it?

Belfort: If a question is private, I have the choice to answer or not. If I make it public, it’s not private anymore. If I want to say something private I will say it, but I keep to myself and I respect the laws of the sport. Whatever the organization, whatever the law — they know what to do. This is too controversial, why am I going to say something that doesn’t accomplish anything? If it’s legal, they know what to do. If it’s legal, there’s nothing to say about it. It’s legal.

Before I was a writer here at CagePotato, some of my favorite columns to read were the “New Guys” features devoted entirely to familiarizing us with the unfamiliar faces sprinkled throughout the average UFC card. It made the preliminary action far more exciting in my opinion, and more importantly made me look like less an MMA fan, more a prophet when making picks against my friends on fight night. I would of course plead ignorance after I had successfully transferred their money into my wallet, but hey, that’s what they get for saying “This Cyprus Diabetes guy is going to get straight up murdered by Luiz Cane.”

So to begin a year in which 95 or so percent of scheduled UFC fights will likely be cancelled due to injury, we figured we would brush off this old feature moving forward, if only to brief you on the no-namers who will inevitably be stepping in on short notice to replace our plagued MMA stars. Today’s edition focuses on the upcoming UFC on FX 7 card headlined by Michael Bisping vs. Vitor Belfort, and features a pair of dangerous, well-rounded sluggers hailing from, you guessed it, Brazil. Funny how that always seems to be the case.

(Sad. He was so young.) 

Not too long ago, I wrote a piece about six of the worst possible opponents debuting UFC fighters have drawn in the past. As I predicted, it was almost universally panned by you Taters, but if I could update the article today, a feller by the name of Lucas “Mineiro” — which I can only assume means “Marked for Death” in Portuguese – Martins would be included somewhere on that list. Because now that Justin Salas has withdrawn from his UFC on FX 7 fight with Edson Barboza, the UFC’s matchmaking department has thrown the poor bastard pictured above into the octagon on short notice in Salas’ place (for his UFC debut, no less), presumably with a steak tied around his neck and a guaranteed bed at the nearest hospital.

Martins record may currently stand at a perfect 10-0, but the combined record of his opponents is just 27-24. Adding to that is the fact that he’ll be taking on an Edson Barboza that is on the heels of his first professional loss and will likely be looking to reestablish himself as one of the top lightweights via Martins’ untimely destruction. So yeah, expect this one to go down in roughly the same fashion as the Anglo-Zanzibar War or Michael Bisping on his prom night, which is to say, quickly.

In light of recent events, it perhaps makes sense that the UFC would pull out all the stops to stir up some interest in the ever-elusive female demographic. That being said, the idea of having Vitor Belfort seduce our girlfriends/wives right out from underneath us, while clever, could have the opposite effect on the male demographic that basically built the sport from the ground up.

Regardless, the new trailer for UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping – which goes down on January 19th in Sao Paulo, Brazil – forgoes the typical knockout-heavy highlight reels in favor of Belfort, a flamenco guitar, and a voice that will turn your woman’s pantalones into the Typhoon Lagoon at DisneyWorld. We’ll give them props for originality, but at the same time, they better deliver Ronda Rousey on a stripper pole when the UFC 157 promos start rolling out or there are going to be some serious problems.

We hear they shot a similar promo featuring Michael Bisping going apeshit on a turntable while “Ooonts! Ooonts! Ooonts!” blared in the background, but it was later scrapped for being — as the head of the UFC’s marketing department put it — “Way too Goddamned douchey.”

-J. Jones