(“And *that’s* what I think of your wife’s titties. Yeah! Boo me, bitches! BOO MEEEEEEEEEEEE!” / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this gallery, click here.)

In the breakneck world of the UFC, a six-week hiatus between events feels like an eternity. But absence makes the heart grow fond, and if you’re anything like us, you’re super freakin’ pumped to watch some fights tonight. It doesn’t matter that the UFC light-heavyweight champion is defending his belt against a middleweight in a PRIDE New Year’s Eve-caliber squash match, or that the flyweight championship co-main event will very likely go to decision, or that Michael Bisping is the biggest asshole east of the Atlantic. Because when you add those guys up — and toss in Brian Stann, featherweight fight-finisher Charles Oliveira, and the return of Matt Hamill — you’ve got one of the most talent-rich UFC main cards of the year. Thanks, Jon.

Handling our liveblog for the UFC 152: Jones vs. Belfort pay-per-view broadcast is beloved CagePotato feature writer Jim Genia, who will be stacking round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and tell us what you’re drinking in the comments section.

(“Then it’s settled. I’ll crouch behind him, and you push him over.” / Photo via CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

I’ve got an idea: Instead of obsessing about who really deserves the next shot at the light-heavyweight title, let’s just kick back tonight and enjoy some free fights on FOX, two of which happen to feature former 205-pound champions (both Brazilian) facing off against hungry contenders (both American). Throw in a lightweight feature between Joe Lauzon and comeback kid Jamie Varner, and Mike Swick‘s first Octagon appearance in two-and-a-half years, and you’ve got a lineup that should hopefully take some of the sting off that $55 you blew on UFC 149.

The UFC on FOX: Shogun vs. Vera main card kicks off at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT, and our man Elias Cepeda will be guiding you through the play-by-play after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and give us the play-by-play for your own lives in the comments section.

(I have nothing funny to say about the Faber/Barao face-off, but oh man, does Shawn Jordan look like the human embodiment of a penis crawling back up inside a body or what? / Photos via the UFC 149 weigh-in gallery on MMAFighting.com.)

Tonight’s UFC 149 card in Calgary will answer several burning questions. For instance, can Urijah Faber keep his spot as the #1 bantamweight contender — and earn a relatively meaningless interim title belt in the process — or will the red-hot Renan Barao-Rao bump him out of line? Will Hector Lombard‘s trail of destruction continue in the Octagon, or is redneck judo the antidote to actual judo? (Sub-question: If Lombard wins, will his post-fight interview be awkward as hell?) And how many points will Cheick Kongo be docked during his fight with rookie Shawn Jordan? Excited yet? No? Well fucking get excited, okay?

Live round-by-round results from the “Faber vs. Barao” PPV main card will be piling up after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET, courtesy of defending liveblog champion Anthony Gannon. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and whenever you see something ill, type “Whoa” in the comments section.

(A replay of Weidman’s incredible standing elbow and the savage ground-and-pound finish, via fueltv.)

With so many contenders clogging up the upper echelon of the UFC middleweight division — all with their hands out for a title shot — Chris Weidman had to do something extra special to get noticed in his fight against Mark Munoz last night. Because let’s face it: Until now, his name wasn’t setting off alarm bells with many casual fans. Sure, the Serra-Longo-bred wrestler/grappler was 4-0 in the UFC, but his personality wasn’t “colorful” enough to create hype around his fights (à la master salesmen Sonnen, Bisping, Mayhem), and if your most impressive performance in the Octagon is a submission win over Tom Lawlor, you still have a long way to go, right?

So this is how you make your name in the UFC. Step 1) Utterly dominate an opponent who was himself thought to be one of the next challengers to the middleweight title. Step 2) Finish the fight in a way that immediately clinches a spot on future “Best Knockouts of 2012″ lists, both for its technical brilliance (the Spider-esque timing of that standing elbow!) and for its hard-to-watch brutality (uh, you gonna stop this one any time soon, Josh?). Step 3) Call out Anderson Silva after the fight — hell, go ahead and say you can submit him — just four days after Silva re-cemented himself as the most untouchable 185′er in MMA history.

And so, a main event that was not officially a #1 contender’s match might turn out to be one after all. Sure, there are bigger names than Weidman in the title hunt — and maybe he’ll have to fight somebody like Alan Belcher or the Lombard/Boetsch winner before he gets the opportunity — but no matter what the future holds for him, Chris Weidman is a star now. In one fight, he went from being a semi-anonymous contender to the name on every UFC fan’s lips.

Meanwhile, Mark Munoz drops down the ladder where hungry middleweight up-and-comers like Constantinos Philippou and Francis Carmont are on their own heat-seeking paths to contendership. In other words, the UFC middleweight division has never been deeper and more exciting — which makes it the worst possible time to take a high-profile loss, especially one in which you weren’t competitive for a single moment of the fight. We haven’t seen the last of the Filipino Wrecking Machine by any means, but it’s going to take him a long time to claw his way back to where he was before Wednesday night.

In other news…

(Right before this picture was taken, Chael asked Anderson to smell his finger. And yes, it smelled like steak sauce. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com. For more from this set, click here.)

UFC 148 goes down this evening at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, and the stakes have never been higher — either Anderson Silva‘s historic middleweight title reign comes to an abrupt end, or all of Chael Sonnen’s limbs and teeth are about to be broken. Either way, we’re in for an interesting night.

Also on the card: Tito Ortiz bids us farewell with a rubber-match against his old buddy Forrest Griffin, Demian Maia makes his welterweight debut against Dong Hyun Kim, and Cung Le tries to rebound against the returning Patrick Cote.

Live round-by-round results from the “Silva vs. Sonnen 2″ pay-per-view main card will be piling up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of Elias Cepeda. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please toss in your own two cents in the comments section.

(“You look very familiar, bro. Verrrrry familiar.” / Image via buzzbox.com)

The UFC makes its first stop in Belo Horizonte, Brazil, tonight for an extraordinarily cursed card that, let’s face it, we probably wouldn’t be watching if it wasn’t our job. Wanderlei Silva is fighting Rich Franklin again, this time at a 190-pound catchweight. (Also known as “middleweight plus.”) Fabricio Werdum is battling fellow big-man Mike Russow. And some guys from TUF Brazil are fighting too, although not all of the ones who should be. It is what it is. I’m guessing that very few of you will be buying this card, but if you’re out doing something more interesting tonight, please use your smart phones to follow along when you can.

Handling the thankless liveblog duties for this evening is Anthony Gannon, who will be layin’ down round-by-round updates from the UFC 147 pay-per-view main card after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. And to prevent this from becoming the least-commented CagePotato liveblog of all time, I encourage you to use the comments section to discuss anything that comes to mind. Seriously, it doesn’t have to be UFC related. I’ll give you a topic to start off with: Germany invaded Poland earlier today. Do you think America should get involved?

(Damn, Junior…give away your gameplan much? / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com)

After a preliminary card dominated by relatively normal-sized men — borrrrring! — we’ve finally arrived at tonight’s central theme: Big sons-of-bitches. That’s right, UFC 146‘s main card features five consecutive heavyweight fights, most of which look pretty damn entertaining on paper. Can massive underdog Frank Mir pull off Impossible Career Comeback #2, or will he succumb to the buzzsaw-like boxing of Junior Dos Santos, just like so many before him? Can Lavar Johnson score two knockouts in the same month (!), or is he in over his head — figuratively, and otherwise — against Stefan Struve? And does Roy Nelson really think he’s doing himself any favors with that ratty-ass gray beard?

(Props: FoxSports)

The main event of last night’s UFC on FUEL TV 3 event blew past its already high expectations. “The Korean Zombie” Chan Sung Jung and Dustin Poirier set a frenetic pace for over three rounds, with Jung dominating the fight both in the standup and on the ground. In the end, Jung rocked Poirier with punches and a flying knee, and put “Diamond” to sleep on the mat with a d’arce choke at the 1:07 mark of round four. You can check out highlights from their scrap above, including an excerpt from Jung’s astounding grappling clinic in round two.

The match earned both men $40,000 Fight of the Night bonuses, and Jung picked up an additional $40k for the event’s Submission of the Night (“What about meeeeeeee?!” – The McKenzietine). Knockout of the Night went to Tom Lawlor, who celebrated his birthday then starched Jason MacDonald in just 50 seconds.

After the jump: Dustin Poirier gets emotional in a post-fight interview with Ariel Helwani, and full results from UFC on FUEL TV: Korean Zombie vs. Poirier.

(Don’t be a hero. Just throw your lunch money onto the stage with everybody else’s. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com For more photos from this set, click here.)

Tonight, the UFC is putting an interim welterweight belt on the line, to be decided by two gamebred sons-of-bitches who go out to take scalps, not win points. If Nick Diaz vs. Carlos Condit isn’t a thrilling fight, I’ll eat my hat. Plus: Roy Nelson welcomes Fabricio Werdum back to the Octagon, Josh Koscheck slugs it out with his evil twin Mike Pierce, and Scott Jorgenson does his best to snap the 27-fight win streak of Renan Barao.

Handling play-by-play for tonight’s action is interim liveblog champion Aaron Mandel. Follow us after the jump for live results from the UFC 143 pay-per-view card, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please use the comments section to let us know how we can better serve you.

(“You maaaad, you maaaaad, you maaaaad!” Photo via MMAMania)

Tonight, TUF as we know it comes to an end. Before us lies a shadowy, uncertain world of live fights aired on F/X on Friday nights and international spin-offs. But no matter what comes next, you can feel secure in the fact that we’ll still be complaining about the show just as much as we always have, because we know no other way to live.

Welcome, friends, to our liveblog of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Bisping vs. Team Miller Finale. On the menu this evening — Diego Brandao and Dennis Bermudez battle to decide the first featherweight TUF winner in UFC history, while John Dodson and TJ Dillashaw do the same for the bantamweights. Plus, heavy-handed TUF 13 winner Tony Ferguson steps up against seasoned vet Yves Edwards, and in the main event, Michael Bisping looks to remove the smirk off the face of his latest rival, Jason “Mayhem” Miller, who will be making his first Octagon appearance in over six years.

Round-by-round results from the TUF 14 Finale main card on Spike TV will be piling up after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

(It’s confusing, because in Strikeforce, standing elbow strikes during weigh-ins are totally legal. / Photo via CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

After five years in the wilderness, Nick Diaz is finally returning to the Octagon tonight, at UFC 137 in Las Vegas. (As expected, Diaz is much, much less excited about this than we are.) His opponent is BJ Penn, a living legend and former two-division UFC champion whose future in the sport very much depends on his performance tonight.

Also on the card: Matt Mitrione and Cheick Kongo fight for a spot in the heavyweight title mix, Mirko Cro Cop and Some Fat Guy fight to save their jobs, and top ten featherweight Hatsu Hioki puts the reputation of Japan on his back.

Round-by-round results from the “Penn vs. Diaz” pay-per-view card will be piling up after the jump starting at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato liveblog assassin Matt Kaplan. Refresh the page every few minutes for the latest updates; as with our last UFC PPV liveblog, we’ll be including “next page” links to reduce spoilage, so click ‘em as the night goes on. Thanks for being here, and let us know how you feel in the comments section.

(Man, you know Dana’s heart isn’t in this one when he can’t even be bothered to put on a funky t-shirt. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this album, click here.)

We told you why you should watch, and we told you how we think it’ll go down. At this point, it’s in God’s hands.

Tonight in New Orleans, Jake Shields and Jake Ellenberger will lock horns in a pivotal welterweight contest. Will Shields shows flashes of his old submission-machine self, or will Ellenberger spoil the party in the Big Easy?

Plus: Middleweights Alan Belcher and Jason MacDonald kick off the main card, and Court McGee and Jonathan Brookins take the next steps in their post-TUF careers. Meanwhile on pay-per-view, Floyd Mayweather Jr. is boxing Victor Ortiz, and hell, maybe we’ll give you updates on that one as well.

Live round-by-round updates from the Spike TV broadcast of “UFC Fight Night: Shields vs. Ellenberger” will be piling up after the jump starting at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. Here, we, go.

(Leonard Garcia [left] paid Tim Burton $3,250 for that custom-made zombie-head. And still, the crowd cheered harder for Dan Hardy’s ironic Charlie Sheen t-shirt. There’s just no accounting for taste. / Photos courtesy of the UFC Fight Night 24 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

Just think: If not for a completely unexpected injury, you’d all be watching Tito Ortiz‘s big comeback tonight — or not watching it, depending on your current interest level in Tito Ortiz. Instead, Phil Davis gets a shot at the big time, and Tito’s retirement fight is delayed until July. Anyway, we’ve got a solid lineup of free fights on Spike TV, kicking off at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT with Leonard Garcia vs. Chan Sung Jung 2, Revenge of the Zombie. We’re excited, and we hope you are as well. Round-by-round results can be found after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. Thanks for coming.

(“I’ll [troll] you ’til you love me, [buddy].” #famousmiketysonquotes / Photo courtesy of the UFC Fight Night 24 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

Possible spoilers after the jump. Read on if you dare…

(Okay, maybe Bob had a point. / Photo courtesy of the UFC on Versus 3 gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

For one night only, the KFC Yum! Center (actual venue name) will be replacing their Double Downs with a steady barrage of KNUCKLE SANDWICHES!!! SEE WHAT I DID THERE? OH SHIT, FORGOT TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK. Round-by-round results from the Versus broadcast will be accumulating after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT — right after a quick recap of the Facebook.com/UFC prelims. From Sanchez vs. Kampmann and Dollaway vs. Munoz to Bowles vs. Page  and Stevenson vs. Castillo, it’s gonna be a solid night of free fights, so refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and drop your two cents in the comments section.

(Above: "…and I’m gonna wear one of those stupid jester-hats in the Octagon. And you’re not going to do a damn thing about it." 
Below: Jon Jones knows that the best way to deal with a bully is to ignore him, Michihiro Omigawa does that ridiculous duck-face thing, and Miguel Torres and Antonio Banuelos face off for the unofficial Mexican Bantamweight Championship. All photos courtesy of the UFC 126: Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)
  

Fuck football. Unless you were cursed enough to grow up in Green Bay, or you’re a supporter of dudes who get accused of rape a lot, you know as well as I do that this weekend belongs to cage-fighting. And if you don’t, you can piss off right now. Seriously. The rest of us will wait. 

Now then. Tonight’s ultra-stacked lineup features the longest-reigning champion in UFC history defending his middleweight title for the eighth time against a power-punching dynamo who used to be a UFC champion himself, seven years and one weight-class ago. Supporting the main event will be a scrap between two Octagon icons and former belt-holders (Franklin vs. Griffin), a fight that could produce the future of the 205-pound division (Jones vs. Bader), Miguel Torres’s breathtaking mullet, and the UFC debuts of some exciting imported talent from Japan.

Live UFC 126 results will be stacking up after the jump, beginning with a quick recap of the Yamamoto/Johnson Facebook match at 8:25 p.m. ET, leading into the Spike TV prelims broadcast at 9 p.m., and finally the pay-per-view broadcast at 10 p.m. So we’ve got a long night of fighting in front of us — but hey, nobody ever said being an MMA fan would be easy.

(Above: "You’re lucky our dads are here, dweeb. I’ll just take that fancy little belt of yours next time." Below: Something old, something new… / Photos courtesy of the UFC 125 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

Good lord, is it really 2011 already? I’m still writing "PRIDE NEVA DIE" on all my checks! Another unpredictable year of MMA begins tonight in Las Vegas, as lightweight underdog-champion Frankie Edgar attempts to make title defense #2 against old rival Gray Maynard. Plus: Chris Leben and Nate Diaz try to keep their streaks going, Brandon Vera fights for his job, and a lightweight smash-up between Clay Guida and Takanori Gomi. Click through for round-by-round UFC 125 updates — beginning at 9 p.m. ET with the live prelims broadcast on ION — and remember to refresh the page every few minutes for the latest results. Let’s all try to be the best keyboard warriors we can be this year, okay guys?

(Above: "Look, everybody in Minnesota grows a beard in the winter, and most of us use deer urine to keep it soft and shiny. I’m sorry if the smell is unfamiliar to you." Below: It’s nice to see that someone else appreciates the long and brave career of Dana Delany. / Photos courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

With Brock Lesnar gunning for a historic third-consecutive heavyweight title defense against Mexican-American upstart Cain Velasquez, belt-collector Jake Shields making his first appearance in the Octagon, and Tito Ortiz possibly making his last appearance in the Octagon, there’s a lot on the line tonight in Anaheim. Round-by-round results from UFC 121 can be found after the jump, starting with the Spike prelims at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all latest, and please let your voice be heard in the comments section.

(Props: Heavy)

The UFC handed out $40,000 performance bonuses to five fighters following UFC Fight Night: Marquardt vs. Palhares, including two separate "Submission of the Night" awards. The honorees are:

Knockout of the Night: Brian Foster, for his 67-second storming of Forrest Petz, which was the lone stoppage on the preliminary card. Petz now drops to 0-2 in his current UFC stint, and will most likely be shown the door.

Submission of the Night (1): Cole Miller, for dropping Ross Pearson with punches in the second round of their fight, then icing him with a rear-naked choke. Miller has scored the SotN award in three of his last five appearances, and officially enters the UFC Performance Bonus Leaderboard. 

Submission of the Night (2): Charles Oliveira, who pushed his record to 14-0 with a huge win over TUF 8 winner Efrain Escudero, secured via standing rear-naked choke in the third round. Though he had trouble getting Escudero to the mat in the first two frames, Oliveira showed off his tenacity in the victory, as well as some impressively unorthodox striking.

Fight of the Night: Kyle Kingsbury and Jared Hamman, for their fast-paced three-round brawl in the prelims. Despite a third-round rally from Hamman, Kingsbury’s domination and damage in the first two frames secured him 29-28 scores from all three judges.

Some other notes on the fights…

(Sometimes you forget how enormous Nate Marquardt is, and then you see him standing next to Chandella Powell and you’re like "damn, bro." / Photo courtesy of the UFN 22 Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

What happens when you put two massively-jacked, notoriously aggressive middleweights in a cage together, one of whom is returning from a three-month suspension for his complete disregard of his opponents’ safety? Great things, we’re sure! Live play-by-play for tonight’s UFC Fight Night 22 event on Spike will be poppin’ off after the jump starting at 8 p.m. ET. Check your local listings before wading into spoilers, and refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest results for Marquardt vs. Palhares, Efrain "El Gordo" Escudero vs. Charles Oliveira, Jim Miller vs. Gleison Tibau, and the outspoken Cole Miller vs. TUF 9 champ Ross Pearson. Be sure to stick around afterwards for the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck — or just read our episode recap tomorrow morning.

(Above: Jon Jones works the pads with Phil Nurse in front of onlookers in Las Vegas. Below: Vladimir Matyushenko does nothing with nobody in front of no one somewhere. Photos courtesy of Sherdog.)

Jones and Matyushenko. Rogan and Goldie. Munoz and Okami. Arianny and the other girl. Gomi and Griffin. Big John McCarthy (!), assuming he hasn’t been completely relegated to the dark card. It’s been far too long since the UFC has graced us with their presence — particularly on free TV — and it feels good to be hanging with the old gang again. Live round-by-round results from the Versus broadcast will be piling up after the jump starting at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. Refresh your browser every few minutes for all the latest, and leave us your insightful feedback in the comments section. And please, no unrelated comments about how boring Jake Shields is. At least for one night. Come on, guys, let’s be adults here.

(Back from the grave: James Irvin yesterday [left], and in March [right]. Photos courtesy of CombatLifestyle)

Spoilers after the jump…

(More pre-fight hype from the main eventers. Matyushenko doesn’t mind being the underdog, and vows to give Jones hell every second of the fight. Bones wants to be something that Vlad’s never seen before. Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

If you don’t have Versus, I feel bad for you son. The UFC returns to the cable sports network this Sunday with UFC Live: Jones vs. Matyushenko, and we’ll be providing round-by-round updates starting at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. So swing by and let us know you care. After the jump: Yushin Okami says he wants to prove he’s close to a title shot by beating Mark Munoz.

("I dare you to open your mouth, Rashad. Just give me one reason to tell you yo breff stank." Photo courtesy of the UFC 114: Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.)

It’s been a long time coming. Tonight in Las Vegas, after sixteen-and-a-half years of promoting fights, the UFC is putting on its very first event headlined by two African-American competitors. It’s a historic moment that’s sure be the talk of MMA news and speaks volumes about the development of the sport in this country, as well as the shifting attitudes toward…oh, who the hell am I kidding, THERE’S GONNA BE SOME BLACK ON BLACK CRIME!!!!!

Tonight’s lineup features the grudge-iest of grudge matches between TUF 10 rival coaches Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Rashad Evans, in a fight that will most likely determine the UFC’s next light-heavyweight title contender. Also: Michael Bisping battles Dan Miller in the co-main, Todd Duffee gets his long-awaited second course, Lil’ Nog toys with late-replacement Jason Brilz, and Diego Sanchez returns to familiar welterweight haunts against tough British prospect John Hathaway. But first, Spike TV gives us a couple of guaranteed bangers in their Prelims broadcast. Round-by-round UFC 114 results will be piling up after the jump, beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Hit refresh every few minutes for all the latest, and pass the wings, bitch, because it’s about to pop off…

(DaMarques Johnson turns the tables on Brad Blackburn. Photo courtesy of allelbows.)

Since UFC 112 featured two title fights that both went the distance in completely baffling fashion, we didn’t get to see much preliminary card action, with the exception of Phil Davis’s first-round stoppage of Alexander Gustafsson. Here’s how the dark matches shook out…

– Phil Davis def. Alexander Gustafsson via submission (anaconda choke), 4:55 of round 1. 
– Rick Story def. Nick Osipczak via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)
– DaMarques Johnson def. Brad Blackburn via TKO, 2:08 of round 3
– Paul Kelly def. Matt Veach via submission (guillotine choke), 3:41 of round 2
– Jon Madsen def. Mostapha Al Turk via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

With three straight losses, Al Turk is definitely heading to the scrap yard after this one, while Blackburn and Veach may also be in trouble after suffering their second-consecutive defeats. But enough about those poor losers. Blackburn’s opponent DaMarques Johnson picked up a $75,000 Knockout of the Night bonus for putting Bad Brad away with a body kick in the third round of their fight after getting handled for most of the first two frames. Rafael Dos Anjos was awarded the Submission of the Night bonus for his armbar of Terry Etim, while the Fight of the Night was given to Mark Munoz and Kendall Grove for their two-rounder, which Munoz won via TKO after almost getting finished repeatedly in round one.

(‘Well Ronys, I look forward to fighting you and hopefully we can put on a good show for the…I’m sorry, but I just can’t take you seriously with that thing on your head.’ Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

If you want to know the results of the fights on the preliminary portion of the Fight Night 21 card, then proceed after the jump.  If you don’t want to know, then don’t do that.  Pretty straightforward, really.

Whatever you decide, don’t miss our liveblog of the event later on tonight. We promise to share all the little fleeting thoughts that are probably better kept to ourselves.

("Please, Dan, I used to fuck guys like you in prison. Coincidentally, I used to fuck guys like you before I went to prison. The guys I fucked after I got out of prison were different from you in certain fundamental ways, but I don’t have time to get into that right now." Photo courtesy of the UFC 111: Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.com.)

Armpit of America? No, ladies and gentlemen, tonight New Jersey will be super classy. UFC 111 is now underway at Newark’s Prudential Center, and will culminate in two thrilling title fights: Heavyweights Frank Mir and Shane Carwin do battle for a make-believe belt, and welterweight king Georges St. Pierre tries to avoid a shock upset against massive underdog/red-eyed freak Dan Hardy. Live UFC 111 results from the Spike TV prelims and pay-per-view broadcast are after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

("Room for the Holy Ghost, kids. Your mothers raised you better than that." Photo courtesy of the UFC on Versus Weigh In Pics gallery on CombatLifestyle.)

Because pay-per-view and Spike TV are not enough to contain all the UFC’s awesomeness, Versus is presenting four fights tonight that could all end in thrilling knockouts, and will momentarily make us forget that we’re missing the season premiere of Breaking Bad. In this extra-special Lord’s Day Liveblog™, Jon Jones tries to live up to his hype against a man who once fell prey to his own, Junior Dos Santos continues his warpath in the heavyweight division against fellow meat-skewer aficionado Gabriel Gonzaga, Cheick Kongo and Paul Buentello throw bombs for the hell of it, and lightning will strike James Irvin on his way to the cage. Yes, indoor lightning. Live results from UFC on Versus: Vera vs. Jones await you after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest…

(Sure, he lives in an RV and has creepy facial hair, but trust us, Clay’s a fantastic babysitter. Photo courtesy of MMA Junkie.)

Spoilers after the jump…

(Top: Kimbo and Roy demonstrate the difference between "built like a black man" and "built like a polar bear." Directly above: The Amanda Knox verdict affected some fighters more than others.)

Okay, so "Heavyweights" wasn’t the best season of The Ultimate Fighter we’ve seen. Let’s be honest: Project Runway had a more talented group of fighters this year, and there weren’t as many divas. But tonight’s finale card will still give us a very entertaining night of fights, with two worthy TUF finalists, Kimbo Slice’s (possibly) last stand, and the always exciting Jon Jones looking to launch to the next level against Matt Hamill. Round-by-round updates from the TUF 10 Finale are after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. We begin our evening’s entertainment with a grudge match between two ex-football players…