(Nam Phan vs. Mike Budnik. Props: eze32101)

No need for a lengthy preamble — you’ve already seen the first five minutes of the Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck season premiere, and you know how these things generally go down. We’ve got 28 lightweights, battling for 14 spots. Dana White addresses the troops, Bruce Leroy giggles with anticipation. It’s the elimination round, where the RFFs (real fucking fighters) are separated from the pretenders. Let’s get it.

Marc Stevens vs. TJ O’Brien 
Stevens wrestled at the University of Buffalo when Josh Koscheck was the assistant wrestling coach there. Kos calls him an "okay wrestler." Stevens immediately lands a huge overhand right, then jackhammers O’Brien on the ground until the ref steps in. We later learn that the 13-second TKO is the fastest stoppage in TUF history. "Remember me now?" Stevens asks Koscheck.

Spencer Paige vs. Steve Magdaleno
Paige’s striking is as good as advertised, as he lands a mix of attacks in round 1. Magdaleno ends the round on top, working some ground-and-pound, but it might not be enough to steal the round. They start round 2 swinging for the fences before Paige starts blasting Magdaleno with knees. Magdaleno shoots on Paige and dumps him. Magdaleno looks for an arm triangle, then goes back to abusing Paige from the top. Magdaleno drops to guard when the action goes standing again, and possibly blows the fight, as Paige finishes strong with strikes from the top. Paige takes the unanimous decision.

Find more videos like this on BJPENN.COM

BJ Penn‘s post-UFC 118 layoff won’t be a long one. After getting the business end of a five-round shutout at the hands of Frankie Edgar, Penn expects to return to the Octagon "in November sometime," against an opponent he’s not ready to name yet. But you can tell he’s excited about the matchup by the way his chair-rocking gradually increases in speed.

"November" could mean UFC 122: Belfort vs. Okami (11/13; Oberhausen, Germany) or UFC 123: Rampage vs. Machida (11/20; Auburn Hills, Michigan), both of which lack strong co-main events at this point. We’re still holding out hope that Penn gets his rematch with Takanori Gomi, even though Clay Guida’s recent tweets seem to hint at a Guida vs. Gomi meeting. In the words of BJ, we’ll "keep you guys posted…it’s gonna be good…nah."

The Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck could turn out to be very entertaining, but in general, we’re not expecting any surprises. The coaches already have their roles sorted out, and won’t be straying from them: Georges St. Pierre is the nice-guy champion who doesn’t let his opponents get under his skin, and Josh Koscheck is the trash-talking contender who gave up on being liked a long time ago. At this point, there’s no reason to think St. Pierre won’t dominate Koscheck in December like he did during their first meeting in 2007. But maybe Kos can take a page out of the Chael Sonnen playbook and force you to care about the rematch through the sheer power of his assholishness.

So anyway, here’s the first five minutes of next week’s TUF 12 premiere, courtesy of Spike. Koscheck vows to whip GSP’s fake ass. Dana White is so excited that he’s sweated through his Bruce Lee t-shirt. (Too early for gray, buddy.) It’ll be another "wild card" season — the setup that allowed finalist Kris McCray to fight five times in six weeks last season. Dana pumps up the cast with his usual arsenal of F-bombs. We meet the first two preliminary round fighters. And that’s pretty much it. No word on if any doors are destroyed this season, or if any raw fish is beaten off into. Okay, fine, maybe there will be a few surprises…

Going into his UFC 118 title rematch against Frankie Edgar, BJ Penn is carrying a title that he hasn’t had since before UFC 80 — former champion. We’re willing to believe that the Prodigy had an off night in Abu Dhabi, but if he wants his belt back he’ll have to relocate the kind of violent aggression that got him to the top in the first place. With that in mind, let’s take a look back at four of Penn’s early fights that set him up as a star in the UFC, and laid the groundwork for the legend that was to come…

BJ Penn vs. Joey Gilbert, UFC 31, 5/4/01

As the first non-Brazilian to win the black belt division at the Mundials, Penn entered the UFC with a reputation to uphold. But he wasn’t looking to become the next Royce Gracie. Even from the beginning, the Prodigy was a true hybrid fighter, whose grappling and striking worked in tandem. His Octagon debut was against another UFC newbie, Joey Gilbert (1-1 MMA record at the time), and though Gilbert showed impressive ground defense in neutralizing Penn’s attacks and positions, Penn was finally able to flatten Gilbert out on his stomach and whale him in the head until the ref stopped the fight with three seconds left of the first round. It looked like there might be something to this BJ Penn kid after all.

BJ Penn vs. Din Thomas, UFC 32, 6/29/01

Penn returned to action just eight weeks later to take on another fighter who was making his UFC debut. But even though Din Thomas was new to the Octagon, he’d already been around the block, compiling a 12-1 record with all victories by stoppage and a notable win over future champ Jens Pulver. Penn plays guard for a while (and shows off his famous leg flexibility at the vid’s 2:13 mark), but once Thomas starts to threaten with ground-and-pound, Penn escapes to his feet and turns Din off with a perfectly-placed knee to the jaw. The Prodigy was no fluke, and the UFC’s fledgling lightweight division was officially on notice.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

"We don’t have to fight. I issued him, in writing, I sent it over, my demands: He leave the UFC for no less than 12 months. He issue an apology to the fans. Simple things. And he erect a statue in my likeness in his living room that he bow to each evening. He didn’t accept ‘em."

Like the Ultimate Warrior before him, Chael Sonnen goes into a kind of fugue state whenever there’s a camera around, in which he’s only capable of making insane statements. The UFC has never made any attempt to muzzle the one-man promotional machine, and his mouthiness now seems to have the company’s public endorsement: This is the first time they’ve produced a highlight reel of a fighter just talking shit about their opponent, with no fighting clips whatsoever. Showing Sonnen lying on top of Dan Miller or Nate Marquardt would only interrupt the fun. Of course, it should be noted that this isn’t the Ultimate Talking Championship.

(Editor’s note: When Sonnen says "CP" at the 2:15 mark, he’s referring to his initials, Chael Patrick, not CagePotato. Though we could also kick Anderson Silva‘s ass if we wanted to, but we don’t, because what would that prove?)

(Props: LRNINI)

Randy Couture told us last week that he didn’t view his UFC 118 fight against James Toney as "boxing vs. MMA." Well too freakin’ bad, because that’s exactly how the UFC is marketing it (0:18). While we’re very familiar with Dark Gable’s barely-coherent YouTube rants, this advance trailer for Edgar vs. Penn 2 is the first time that Toney’s been a part of an official UFC hype-clip. And he makes the most of his eight-second appearance, telling Randy, "Hey princess…I’mma gitch’oo," then slugging a speed-bag. Genius. Also, Frank Edgar raises the possibility of a second win over BJ Penn, and the narrator sounds like he’s stifling a burp during the "only on pay-per-view" line. If that’s not enough to get your $44.99, we don’t know what to tell you.

Related: Ray Mercer Is Straight-Up Murdering That Heavy Bag

(Props: YouTube.com/KarynBryant)

Bryant (starting at 1:02): "[You and Jon Jones] have been doing a lot of press, and pretty much the storyline is ‘experience vs. youth’. How do you feel about that, and do you feel that that’s really the decisive thing going in here?"

Matyushenko: "Well it’s not only that, experience and youth, it’s just like…black and white."

I know, right? Athletic explosiveness vs. hard-working blue-collar-ness. Finally, somebody says what we’re all thinking!

Okay, maybe Vlad was trying to make reference to their vastly different styles (or not, it’s kind of hard to tell). Anyway, this MMA H.E.A.T. interview is also noteworthy because Karyn asks the Janitor who he wants to fight next, even though she clearly realizes it’s a big no-no (skip to the 3:14 mark). For the record, he likes to take things fight by fight (shocking), but he wouldn’t mind avenging his losses to Antonio Rogerio Nogueira and Tito Ortiz. His entrance music on Sunday, as usual, will be "Deaf Forever."

(Props: dragonman34)

"UFC made the decision. I was bummed. I love Matt, I think he’s an awesome athlete, I think he’s an awesome person, but his time’s not now. You won’t see any shit-talking from me about Matt Hamill because I think he’s an awesome guy. But it’ll even make it a better fight when it comes October 23rd, when I cave his face in. No bad feelings. No bad emotions. Just punishment, and that’s what it’s about. So, we’ll see. October 23rd. As I look to beat down Matt Hamill. In a nice way. For once."

So says Tito Ortiz, after signing the contract to face his former pupil Matt Hamill at UFC 121. As he explains, his past dealings with Chuck Liddell taught him that business and competition should always come before friendship. But is the world ready for a trash-talk-free Tito? The oddsmakers currently have him as a solid +145 underdog in this match, which feels about right. As Ortiz has gone 0-3-1 since December 2006, he may need to score an upset to keep his job…

CagePotato Exclusive Video Interview w/UFC Star Jon Jones – Watch more Funny Videos

Coming off his devastation of Brandon Vera in March, fast-rising UFC star Jon Jones will take on veteran Vladimir Matyushenko at UFC On Versus 2 (August 1st, San Diego). It may not be an obvious step up in competition, but in this exclusive video interview — shot by our friend Sal Mora at Jackson’s MMA in Albuquerque — Jones calls Matyushenko a "solid step sideways," and assures us that he’s not looking past the Janitor. Of course, another impressive win would put the 22-year-old directly into the 205-pound title mix, which suits him just fine, since there’s nobody in the division he doesn’t think he can beat:

"I’m really confident in myself, and I’m big on faith. I just believe if I study for any opponent — his interviews, his fights, his footwork, his timing — I think I’ll figure out that opponent. It’s like doing your homework…you know yourself, you know your opponent, and there’s really nothing to worry about."

As a native of Endicott, New York, Jones weighed in on the MMA regulation efforts in New York State: "That would mean so much to me, competing in New York…it would be a dream come true, and something that I believe in my heart will happen one day. I would love to fight for a title in Madison Square Garden."

Bones also discussed his current preparations with trainer Greg Jackson, explained how his 84.5" reach helps him in his daily life, and told us what line of work he might be in if he wasn’t fighting. Enjoy.

(Props: acray4448 via Fightlinker)

There’s only one explanation for this: Chuck Liddell‘s walkout-expression is so intense that it causes amnesia. When the Iceman comes out for the main event on Saturday, it will have been almost 14 months since Mike and Joe saw that unnameable, unknowable look in his eyes. But will they mention it for the fifth consecutive time?

Related reminders:

– Your UFC 115 predictions for MMA Fightpicker! Make them!

– Come back to CagePotato.com Saturday night for our liveblog of Liddell vs. Franklin. Spike TV prelims start at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT, and the pay-per-view broadcast kicks off at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT.

(Props: jamie98s via Fightlinker)

What better way to start your week than a ten-minute lowlight video of MMA fighters getting blasted in the testicles, eye-gouged, and kicked in the head while they’re down? All your favorite fouls are here, including: Gabriel Gonzaga’s infamous nut-punt on Chris Tuchscherer, Frank Mir getting curb-stomped by Wes Sims, and the impressive moment when Brandon Vera was able to kick Randy Couture in the groin and poke him in the eye at the same time. Brandon, if you’re remembered for nothing else — and let’s be honest, you probably won’t be — may you be remembered for that.

After the jump: Some squirrelly-lookin’ kid from Boston named "Dana" (LOL, that’s a girl’s name!) shows up at UFC 30 and tells James Werme how he’s going to turn the organization around. Lots of luck, buddy. Also, two quick knockouts just because we love you.

(Props: AmazingSerega via MMA Scraps)

It’s fight week for Rampage and Rashad, which means it’s time to make final preparations in body and mind, and get those last insults in. The third episode of their UFC Primetime mini-series aired yesterday after TUF, and you can watch the first half above, in case you missed it. Some highlights:

– The notorious media call where Rashad accuses Rampage of putting on a "minstrel show" and acting dumb for the amusement of the fans.

– Rashad gets in some Olympic-caliber workouts with Jonathan Chaimberg, and does a very unflattering impression of Rampage shouting "HE’S DEAD."

– Rampage spends some daddy-time with his two youngest kids.

– Trevor Wittman puts together a dinner for some of the Grudge Sports guys, and presents Rashad with a pencil drawing he made of him. Pretty impressive for a guy who’s self-taught. (I’m assuming those skills didn’t come from any sort of accredited art school.)

The show continues after the jump…

(Props: MGVMEDIA via BloodyElbow)

Tonight after The Ultimate Fighter, Spike TV will roll out the latest installment of its UFC Primetime mini-series, focusing on the Quinton Jackson vs. Rashad Evans showdown at UFC 114. Rampage’s acting lessons have clearly paid off, because when he stares into the camera in the above promo clip and vows to destroy us, it’s just so believable, you know? This might be the first time I’ve had the urge to nervously give my cigarettes and fruit cup to a YouTube video. For his part, Rashad could only come up with a weak line about pillows and snuggies, which you can see after the jump. Of course, Rashad has his own acting career to deal with, though it hasn’t quite reached summer blockbuster status…

(Props: MMAFighting)

Even in victory, Josh Koscheck managed to officially become one of the greatest MMA heels of all time on Saturday night, first with his apparent acting job following Paul Daley‘s illegal knee attempt, and then with his kiss-off to the Montreal crowd, vowing that the Penguins would defeat the Canadiens in the NHL Eastern Conference semi-finals, and that he would whoop their beloved GSP when they meet later this year.

In this post-fight interview with Ariel Helwani, Koscheck explains that his emotions got the better of him, and he’s sorry for his behavior during and after the fight. Just kidding! Instead, Kos makes a number of bold statements, few of which will endear him to the fans:

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

First, there’s the Matt Mitrione you thought you knew from TUF 10: The house snitch, the crazy guy, the brain-damaged faker, the unbearable heel of a TUF season in which we all expected Wes Sims to be the unbearable heel. In this promo for Saturday’s UFC 113 event in Montreal, Mitrione (who will be facing Kimbo Slice) acknowledges that most people who watched him on the show think he’s a "straight douchebag." However: "I’m misread quite often…I’m probably a little bit cooler than most people give me credit for." Sure Meathead, it was just the editing, right?

It seems like the UFC wants Kimbo to be the good guy in this matchup. Slice has given up sex, smoking, and drinking for his training camp, which makes him as good a role model for the children of the world as anybody else. But then there’s this video profile from IndySportsNation, which reveals a few things we didn’t know about Mitrione…

(Props: lookoutawhale)

Between Douglas Crosby’s bizarre message-board diatribe, Anderson Silva’s nonsensical justifications for ruining a main event, and the announcement that Ben Fowlkes is leaving us to start his own Smoothie King franchise — do not request the "protein shot" — we’re all feeling a little emotional right now. So how ’bout we all just take a deep breath and enjoy this complete history of the MMA nipple-tweak?

UFC 87 was the first time we’d noticed the bizarre ritual, but lookoutawhale has blown the case wide open, showing that Georges St. Pierre was tweakin’ as early as UFC 50, though he usually did it under the cover of a t-shirt. When first confronted about his nasty little habit, Rush tried to play it off as a combination nervous tic/Sign of the Cross. Eventually, his Team Jackson homeboys followed his lead, and GSP was able to come out of the closet, so to speak, openly nip-twisting in pre-fight face-offs and in the presence of hot models at photo shoots. Hey, you can’t argue with success. Special appearance by Darrill Schoonover!

(You can skip through the first 2:45, unless you really can’t get enough of Dana White busting chops and complaining about incompetent employees.)

You have to love these Canadian MMA fans. Dana White goes to a Q&A session in a mall in Toronto (presumably the same one where he admitted that the UFC’s design team had caved to Chinese interests), and their questions are all so…good. Calm, measured, reasonable queries about the state of MMA in Ontario, and what DW has planned for the future.

Perhaps the most interesting answer White gives comes when he’s asked about Jon Jones, whose bandwagon has been filling up ever since his face-breaking win over Brandon Vera. The UFC knows they have a valuable asset with Jonny “Bones,” so they’re giving him a slow road to a title shot. Note, however, at the 3:35 mark, DW starts naming potential future opponents for Jones and the first name out of his mouth is Rashad Evans, who is Jones’s teammate, training partner, and surrogate big brother at Greg Jackson’s squad. I guess we’re still acting like we can just make those guys fight each other, no matter how many times they’ve said they won’t, huh?

My question is, if “Rampage” Jackson, Evans (theoretically, anyway), Lyoto Machida, and “Shogun” Rua are the guys Jones might face after he’s had three more fights over the next year, who’s he supposed to beat up in the meantime? You could make a case for Ryan Bader or maybe even our old friend K-Sos, but more than one or two of those fights and it’s going to start to feel like he’s treading water.

(Props: KingHillerx)

In case you missed it, here’s last night’s installment of Spike’s UFC Primetime hype-series, which opens in a Long Island Hooters, where Dan Hardy can somehow smell Georges St. Pierre‘s fear over the pungent aroma of hot wings and urinal cakes. Hardy has come out to New York early to get acclimated with the time zone and funny accents of the American East Coast. Acting as his spirit guide is former UFC welterweight champ Matt Serra, who is helping Hardy work on the positions that he’ll surely be placed in against GSP, and lending him some of his lovable underdog magic. Back in Montreal, we learn a little more about Tristar Gym trainer Firas Zahabi, his obsessive work ethic, and his cute wife. Nate Marquardt and Kenny Florian stop by to add some star power to St. Pierre’s camp. (Ferrum Ferro Acuitur, bro.) Our buddies Ariel Helwani and Randy Gordon interview Hardy about training with monks; turns out Hardy really is a martial artist, even if he doesn’t walk out to the Octagon in his pajamas. Part 2 is after the jump. Give it a look before it’s pulled…

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC. For part one of the 8/29 Randyvlog, which features Couture’s pre-fight preparation, visits from Wanderlei Silva and Brock Lesnar, and Randy’s walkout, click here.)

If you’re going to lose a fight, you might as well do it surrounded by people who love you. Randy Couture — who described Saturday night in Portland as the loudest audience he’s ever fought in front of — was given a hero’s reception by all the fans in attendance at UFC 102 as well as everyone he came across backstage. The above video-blog shows excerpts from his fight against Nogueira shot cageside (right behind the guy with the airhorn!), as well as the aftermath, in which Randy is examined by a doctor and takes questions at the post-event press conference. It’s hard to predict where Couture’s fight career will go from here, but with fan response this overwhelmingly positive, the Natural’s days of high-profile fights in the Octagon are far from over.

(The Hallman/Hughes story. Could Matt Hughes be getting one more shot at revenge before he retires?)

— Anderson Silva‘s manager Ed Soares has debunked a report by Yahoo! Sports in which he was quoted as saying Silva wanted to give up his middleweight title to compete as a light-heavyweight permanently. As Soares told MMA Weekly: “It’s not true. I never said that to Dana. I have said to Dana that he’d like to fight again at 205 (but not permanently)…he wants the biggest fights possible, whether it’s at 205 or 185.” Silva and Soares still aren’t psyched about an impending rematch with Dan Henderson: "I feel a true number one (middleweight contender) would be if Henderson fought the winner of Nate Marquardt and Damian Maia…we could take another fight at 205 or a catchweight fight (in the meantime).”

— For the fourth time in his career, Dennis "Superman" Hallman has signed a contract to fight in the UFC. He expects to make his next UFC appearance sometime this fall. Hallman is best known for two lightning-quick submission victories over Matt Hughes, the second of which came at Hallman’s Octagon debut at UFC 29 in December 2000. The 33-year-old fighter lost subsequent UFC fights to Jens Pulver, Frank Trigg, and Jorge Rivera, and is currently on a four-fight win streak, with two of those fights taking place in Strikeforce.

"I’m gonna beat him skill for skill, round by round, I’m gonna take him apart, and I may finish him in the first round." So says the fiercely confident Kenny Florian in the above trailer for UFC 101 (August 8th, Philly). Florian clearly sees his lightweight title fight against BJ Penn as the moment his entire career has been leading up to. An oddly clean-shaven Joe Rogan tells us that Penn has been training harder than ever , and says "I think we’re going to see a new, invigorated BJ Penn, and that’s a bad sign for everybody in the lightweight division."

Later, Dana White proclaims that "the Anderson Silva/Forrest Griffin fight has all the makings to be fight of the year," and Joe suggests that Griffin take a page from the Dan Henderson playbook: "[Forrest] is one of the biggest guys in the light-heavyweight division. If he gets Anderson to the ground, and he can hold onto him and beat on him for three rounds, it is conceivable that Forrest can walk away with a decision." Wow, you hear that Forrest? It’s conceivable! Onward to victory!

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

Things that Brock Lesnar has no patience for:

— Allegations about his steroid use
— Sodomites
— Steve Mazzagatti
— Press conferences to promote his own main event

The UFC heavyweight champion, upset about a cheap chair and having to talk to a group of strangers, tried to exit the building after being introduced at a UFC 100 press conference held yesterday. Luckily, Dana White was there to chill him out. As DW later told Versus.com, "I’m telling you, nobody wants my job. Everybody thinks it looks good; it’s no fun. Try telling a 400-pound guy to sit down."

Note to Brock’s cornermen: You’d better invest in a quality stool, or Lesnar just might forfeit between the first and second rounds.

CagePotato.com Interviews Quinton Rampage Jackson – Watch more Funny Videos

When we sent our friend Heather Nichols to interview Quinton Jackson on the set of an upcoming Super Dave Osbourne special, we had no idea it would open up such a massive can of worms. What you’ll see above is the interview that everyone expected — ‘Page talks about his rivalry with Rashad Evans, what he’s doing differently during his second stint as a TUF coach, and Michael Bisping‘s chances against Dan Henderson, all in a very reserved and polite sort of way. And then this happened. Crazy. Props to Heather for keeping her cool; you can show her some love at Twitter.com/HeatherNichols, Facebook.com/HeatherNicholsActress, and MySpace.com/HeatherNicholsActress. Bonus pics of the Internet’s most famous dry-hump victim are below.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC via MMA Fanhouse)

"This is our time. This is our sport. And we’re just getting started." — So intones the narrator of this official tribute to the UFC’s evolution. Maybe it doesn’t rock as hard as the Bowie-soundtracked fan-made compilation we showed you earlier, but with three days left until UFC 100, it’ll help get you in the proper reflective mood.

(Props: computercowboytv via FiveOunces.)

Allow us to translate for those who don’t speak jive:

Computer: Hey everybody, it’s Computer. You may remember me as the personal assistant from Three Six Mafia’s old reality show, Adventures in Hollyhood. I’m here with my friend Quinton Jackson. Quinton, would you like to say a few words?

Jackson: Hey guys, Rampage here. My friend Computer and I are from the Southern United States; you should already know what that implies. By the way, I punch people in their mouths. I know, it’s not really relevant to the conversation at hand, but I’m a little intoxicated, and it’s what I do.

The UFC’s first 132 events have given us over 15 years worth of legendary battles, shocking finishes, and historic debuts. With UFC 100 coming up on July 11th, we decided to do some digging and pick out the 10 most monumental events of all time. So join us as we step into the way-back machine…

(Check out part one here.)

***

#5: UFC 1: The Ultimate Fighting Championship
11/12/93; Denver, Colorado


Notable Fights: Royce Gracie vs. Ken Shamrock, Gerard Gordeau vs. Teila Tuli, Royce Gracie vs. Gerard Gordeau
Lowdown: Nearly 3,000 people packed into the McNichols Sports Arena on one fateful night in November to witness the beginning of cultural movement, which is cool even if most of them only showed up because they were already drunk and had reason to believe that they might see a man killed.  It was billed as an eight-man tournament with no rules, and although that wasn’t entirely true (biting and eye-gouging were both outlawed) it might as well have been.  Referee guidelines consisted mostly of instructions not to stop the fight no matter what, there were no judges, not even the suggestion of weight classes, and the approved attire had no limits whatsoever, as evidence by Royce Gracie’s gi and Art Jimmerson’s one lonely glove.

The UFC’s first 132 events have given us over 15 years worth of legendary battles, shocking finishes, and historic debuts. With UFC 100 coming up on July 11th, we decided to do some digging and pick out the 10 most monumental events of all time. So join us as we step into the way-back machine…

***

#10: UFC 13: Ultimate Force
5/30/97; Augusta, Georgia

Notable fights: Tito Ortiz vs. Wes Albritton, Randy Couture vs. Tony Halme, Randy Couture vs. Steven Graham, Vitor Belfort vs. Tank Abbott 
Lowdown: It may have seemed like just another night of cage-fighting at the time, but we now look back on "Ultimate Force" as the event that gave us the debuts of three enduring legends: Tito Ortiz, Randy Couture, and Joe Rogan. In addition to the main-event slugfest between Vitor Belfort and Tank Abbott (which the Phenom won by TKO in 53 seconds), Lucky #13 featured a four-man "lightweight" tournament for fighters below 200 pounds, and a heavyweight bracket for 200+ pounders

Just 22 years old at the time, Tito Ortiz made it to the lightweight finals after crushing Wes Albritton with ground-and-pound in a show-opening alternate bout; unfortunately, he later succumbed to a guillotine choke by tournament winner Guy Mezger. Randy Couture was more successful. The former collegiate wrestling standout and U.S. Olympic team alternate swept the heavyweight tourney by choking out Tony Halme and stopping Steven Graham via strikes. And yes, the dude from NewsRadio was handling backstage interview duty — who knew he’d turn out to be the most insightful and entertaining commentator in the sport?

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC via MMA Mania)

Man, don’t you hate it when you’re partying at Rehab, just minding your own business, and you see your next opponent by the pool and you need a bunch of hot bikini models to hold you back? Such is the concept behind one of the photoshoots in the UFC’s new magazine (on newsstands now), and we have a feeling that Georges St. Pierre and Thiago Alves won’t be complaining about this particular promotional assignment. To be honest, GSP doesn’t seem too worked up during his staged run-in with Alves — he remains seated in his deck chair, and only requires one model to kind of half-heartedly restrain him — but the brief nipple tweak at 0:48-0:50 tells the real story: It’s time for war, mon ami.

Speaking of the UFC’s welterweight champ and #1 contender, these guys are seriously huge right now. During a UFC media conference call yesterday, Alves said he’s walking around at 191-192 pounds, and could be as much as 195 pounds when he steps into the Octagon on July 11th. GSP currently weighs about 188-190 pounds, and expects to weigh the same on fight day. Said St. Pierre: "I truly believe that in our sport, skill and technique always beat strength and size, so the guy who will win the fight is the better fighter, not the bigger guy."

After the jump: Michael "GQ Smoov" Bisping and Dan "They Made Me Put On This Sweater" Henderson have a tense staredown of their own.

After making my MMA highlight reel debut with "Sakuraba: Survivor," I decided to follow it up with a new compilation that’s both shorter and less depressing. The concept of "Stranglehold" is quite simple: Here are some of the most creative and infamous choke-submissions in recent MMA history, soundtracked by Ted Nugent. The cast of characters include Nate Diaz, Dan Miller, Renato "Babalu" Sobral, Shinya Aoki, BJ Penn, Nick Diaz, Demian Maia, CB Dollaway, and Toby Imada. Let me know what you think, and if you dig it, please share with a friend.

(BG)

(Props: Genghis Con)

MMA highlight film whiz Genghis Con is back with a two-part tribute to Randy Couture called "The Father of Time." The first installment, shown above, covers Couture’s UFC career from his debut choke-out of Tony Halme at UFC 13 to his "retirement" after losing to Chuck Liddell for the second time at UFC 57; we’ll let you know when part two hits the ‘net.

After the jump: The second segment from Spike’s "Countdown to UFC 99" sepcial, which gives us a closer at the beast that is Cain Velasquez, and Cheick Kongo‘s scrappy path to contender status. Could this heavyweight brawl be a dark horse for Fight of the Night? Parts 1 and 3 are here.