(James Toney: the worst-case scenario of Thomas Jefferson’s dream.)

…he’d like to put your mind at ease in this interview with FightHype.com:

“They talking about ground game? That don’t mean nothing to me dog. Number one, I ain’t going to allow none of them boys to lay on top of me like a lil’ fag, you know what I’m saying? I ain’t going to the ground; that ain’t happening, you know what I’m saying?

…I know a lot of them thinking they would fuck me up and they gonna shoot in on me and all of that, but I ain’t going to the ground; that ain’t happening. I got one of the best mixed martial arts trainers in the world, which is my daddy. You know what I’m saying? He is one of the original death fighters. They fought to the death like in them movies, but it’s a matter of time. I will be ready to go.”

You know how when you’re a kid and your parents tell you things that might be exaggerations of the truth, or even just outright lies, and they don’t see any harm in it as long as it makes for a good bedtime story and gets you to go to sleep so they can have ten peaceful minutes alone at night to sip brandy and stare out at the driveway?  It’s possible that James Toney‘s dad took things a little too far with his yarns about fighting to the death, like in them movies.

(Ariel Helwani gets his interview time with Dana White rudely interrupted.)

The entertaining little mating dance between Dana White and James Toney may have finally reached the point where a decision is inevitable. After Toney materialized in Las Vegas this weekend to call out DW yet again, it ought to be clear enough that he isn’t going to get bored and lose interest all on his own. Partly that’s because Toney probably doesn’t have a whole lot else going on in his life, but partly it’s because, whatever you think of his abilities as a fighter, dude is persistent.

If White doubted that before, he doesn’t after Toney appeared like a mumbling angel on his shoulder this weekend. It’s time to either set the guy up with a fight or else stop letting him into these damn press conferences.

Since option number two is obviously no fun, I vote for option number one. Toney may be a 41-year-old, semi-brokedown former boxing great. His best years, along with his days of speaking clearly and coherently, may be behind him. If he were signing on to fight for another MMA organization, White would be quick to cite all that as evidence that his competitors don’t respect the sport or its fans.

(Takanori Gomi wins the PRIDE lightweight title by knocking out Hayato Sakurai at Shockwave 2005.)

This would have been incredible if it happened three or four years ago, but hey, better late than never, right? According to MMA Fighting, lightweight legend Takanori Gomi has signed a multi-fight contract with the UFC; no word yet on the date of his debut or who his first opponent will be. Gomi visited the States last month to meet with the UFC and Strikeforce, and take in a training session at American Kickboxing Academy.

Holding a record of 31-5, Gomi is best known for his dominant run in PRIDE from 2004-2006, where he won the organization’s lightweight belt and took out such notable fighters as Jens Pulver, Tatsuya Kawajiri, Hayato Sakurai, and Mitsuhiro Ishida. However, his last PRIDE appearance was a shock gogoplata loss to Nick Diaz in February ’07, and he then went 2-2 in Sengoku, dropping matches to Sergey Golyaev and Satoru Kitoka; after the Kitaoka loss, Gomi began to question his training and motivation. Though Gomi has won his last two bouts, he hasn’t been facing the kind of top-level competition that he regularly enjoyed at his peak. Will the UFC’s talent-rich lightweight class re-ignite the Fireball Kid, or will he join Mirko Cro Cop and Wanderlei Silva in the PRIDE Curse Club?

IF YOU MISSED KNOCKOUTS #25-13, CLICK HERE.

#12: Fedor Emelianenko adds Brett Rogers to his vast collection of scalps at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers (11/7/09).

#11: Brian Bowles shocks the world, earns the WEC’s bantamweight title, and breaks Miguel Torres‘s 17-fight win streak at WEC 42 (8/9/09).

#10: Lyoto Machida makes Rashad Evans do the stanky leg at UFC 98. (5/23/09)

#9: Dan Hornbuckle starches Akihiro Gono with a kick to the face at Sengoku 9 — then takes a moment to think about what he’s done (8/2/09).

#8: Scott Smith pulls off the greatest comeback knockout of the year against Cung Le at Strikeforce: Evolution (12/19/09).

#7: Dan Henderson shuts Michael Bisping‘s big spotted-dick-eating mouth at UFC 100 (7/11/09).

#6 (tie): Marius Zaromskis high-kicks Hayato Sakurai into a living death at the DREAM welterweight GP semi-finals; later that same night, Marius Zaromskis does the same exact thing to Jason High (7/20/09). Congrats, Jason, you’re on the wrong end of this list twice.

#5: Yahir Reyes cracks Estevan Payan with what might be the nastiest spinning-backfist in MMA history at Bellator 6. (5/8/09)

#4: Jose Aldo needs just 8 seconds and a well-timed flying knee to wreck Cub Swanson — and earn a title shot — at WEC 41 (6/7/09).

#3: Anderson Silva shows Forrest Griffin the true power of a Jedi at UFC 101 (8/8/09).

#2: Fedor Emelianenko shoots Andrei Arlovski out of the air at Affliction: Day of Reckoning (1/24/09).

Fedor vs. Arlovski – Watch more Funny Videos

#1: Marcus "Lelo" Aurelio proves that Capoeira is MMA’s most effective style — at least for one night — against Keegan Marshall at North American Challenge 24 (4/4/09).

(Luckily, Chris Leben has picked up a new sponsor: GerbilDepot.com.)

Zuffa’s lengthy blacklist of companies who aren’t allowed to sponsor fighters just increased by one very notable name. Brace yourself, fans of responsible sex — CondomDepot.com‘s logo will no longer be gracing the backs of any UFC/WEC fighters’ shorts. From CondomDepot marketing director Jennifer Amato, via BloodyElbow:

"Dana White Took Food From The Mouths of Our Sponsored Fighters Just In Time For Christmas! Sorry Spencer, Josh, Gabe, Jake and everyone else…
We have been notified that we have been Banned From the UFC and WEC!
We have provided fighters 100′s of thousands of dollars DIRECTLY over the last 2 years but can no longer do so! Not to mention word came down during AIDS awareness month!!
UFC a Classy Organization runned by an even Classier Guy."

These sponsor-bannings usually result from either personal vendettas (see: Affliction, Dethrone, and RVCA‘s sponsorship of Fedor Emelianenko) or the UFC’s understandable desire to present their brand in the best possible light (see: Hoelzer Reich). It’s not clear if anything hostile happened behind the scenes between CondomDepot and Zuffa, but you have to admit that the phrase "Condom Depot" on a man’s ass was suggestive in a very unfortunate way. Still, fighters have to feed their families, and the UFC doesn’t always make it easy for them to do so.

(Props: twitter.com/danawhite)

After a 6-3 vote yesterday, the Vancouver City Council passed a resolution to regulate MMA for a two-year trial period. Though a handful of MMA events were sanctioned by the Vancouver Athletic Commission before 2007, the city council put a halt to the sport that year due to concerns over liability in the event of an injury. Since then, unregulated MMA events have popped up around the British Columbian city, some of which were funded by gang money. Now, Vancouver is giving mixed martial arts another chance. Said city council member Tim Stevenson about his "yes" vote:

Reacting to the news, UFC general counsel Lawrence Epstein told the Vancouver Sun, “We’re very pleased with the result. It’s important for this issue to be considered. Once people understand what this sport’s all about, they generally reach this conclusion.”

Following two successful events at Montreal’s Bell Centre, the UFC has long had an eye on Vancouver, and now plans to hold an event at the 19,000-seat GM Place (home of the Vancouver Canucks) in June 2010. And after that? “Ontario’s an important market for us and we’re hopeful we’ll get some momentum from what’s happening in British Columbia today,” Epstein said.

(After this fight, Andre Gusmao lobbied hard to outlaw "6-to-9:30" flying knees.)

The UFC’s debut fight card on Versus now has a date and a headliner. Sources indicate that the show will go down March 21st in Denver, with the previously reported match between Jon Jones and Brandon Vera in the main event slot. When Vera broke news of the 3/21 date on Twitter, most people assumed that he meant 3/31, the same night as the premiere of TUF 11. But the Truth was right, and we feel just awful for doubting him.

Versus is available in approximately 75 million homes, compared to the 98.6 million that Spike TV can be seen in, which means that this probably isn’t great news for some of you. At this point, it’s unclear if the UFC will be putting together a Fight Night show on Spike on March 31. Three events in an 11-day stretch seems like a backbreaking schedule; remember, UFC 111 is also on the agenda for March 27th in Newark.

And speaking of Jon Jones, the 22-year-old stunna’s management team filed their formal complaint with the NSAC regarding Jones’s disqualification against Matt Hamill at the TUF 10 Finale. If you’re interested, you can read more details here.

(Dana White: He won’t rest until every night is Fight Night. Photo courtesy of myspace.com/danawhite.)

After previous preliminary card broadcasts did solid numbers on Spike TV this fall, the UFC has announced that it will telecast 10 more live "UFC Prelims" shows next year, beginning with UFC 108 on January 2nd. The lineup for UFC 108′s one-hour undercard broadcast hasn’t been announced yet, but it could potentially feature such names as Sean Sherk, Vladimir Matyushenko, and Martin Kampmann.

But even with those extra spots, the UFC still apparently has more product than can fit on Pay-Per-View and Spike. The Versus network — long known for being the broadcast home of the WEC — has agreed to run two additional UFC events next year. Though dates and locations are still TBA, Dana White said these planned events would be similar to the UFC Fight Night shows on Spike, adding: "Versus has shown their commitment to mixed martial arts, the UFC, the WEC, and we couldn’t be happier to be in business with guys like this."

As Versus is owned by Comcast, which now owns NBC as well, the new partnership could be a first step towards getting UFC fights on a major network.

(See Royce?  We told you this would happen unless you started with your day with a hearty country breakfast, but you just wouldn’t listen.)

The rumors are true, says Matt Hughes.  On his official blog, also known as your go-to source for decontextualized Bible verses and pictures of dudes holding rifles, the former UFC welterweight champ says he’ll be taking on Renzo Gracie on April 10 in Abu Dhabi.  It will be Gracie’s debut in the UFC, and his first fight since he won a victory via disqualification against Frank Shamrock in February of 2007.  This must be what Hughes was hinting at when he said he needed a fight against someone his own age that he could get fired up for.

Beating up and aged and overrated Royce Gracie (he hadn’t won a meaningful fight in at least six years when he fought Hughes) is one thing, but Renzo might prove to be a little tougher.  He’s more well-rounded, has stayed more active in the sport lately, and is known to be tight with Abu Dhabi royalty.  That’s not to say that he’ll have his buddy the Sheikh fill Hughes’ locker room with scorpions before the fight, but it’s still too early to rule that possibility out entirely.

We knew this was coming.  Talking with Fanhouse’s Ariel Helwani, UFC president Dana White confirms that Houston Alexander does not have a future in the UFC after his dismal performance against Kimbo Slice at last weekend’s TUF 10 Finale.  Hardly surprising, right?  Alexander had already been run out of the UFC once, and was only brought back because he seemed like a beatable opponent for Kimbo (which he was) with a modicum of name value.  He lost, he looked bad doing it, and so he’s fired again.  Everything here is going according to script.

But remember when Roy Nelson jokingly referred to himself as the UFC’s official suckmeter?  Remember when he said that he was going to be the guy who, if you couldn’t beat him, it meant you didn’t belong in the UFC?  You thinking what I’m thinking here, dog?    

(Oh, masturbation punches, how we’ve missed you… / Photo courtesy of ESPN.)

According to Heavy.com, Brock Lesnar is back on his feet after a nasty case of diverticulitis, and the UFC is targeting July as a potential return date for the heavyweight champ; Lesnar’s long-delayed bout against Shane Carwin  could headline the UFC’s first show in Boston.

Well, that’s their hope, anyway. Though Lesnar is indeed recovering, his trainer Greg Nelson told MMA Weekly that he’s not sure when Brock will be able to start training again — and he’s definitely not sure when he’ll be healthy enough to fight. Right now, Lesnar is simply healing up in a pissed-off fashion. Said Nelson: "Mentally, he wants to get back in there. He wants to jump in. You get a guy like that who’s used to being able to do whatever and moving around and train, throw hay around, whatever he wants to do, then you’re stuck inside your house…that’s tough. Mentally, it’s tough."

And it’s not just tough on Lesnar. Frank Mir has become so obsessed with the idea of beating Lesnar in a rubber match that the news of Brock’s illness put the zap on his brain: “When he got sick it screwed up my training because he was such a driving force for me," Mir told the Las Vegas Sun. "I went into a depression for two to three days where I didn’t go to the gym, I got sick — I drove myself insane thinking we may possibly not fight again. I couldn’t live with that.” Our advice to Frank? Live with it. You have a big fight in two days. Losing to a guy who you’ve talked nothing but trash about, now that’s something you wouldn’t want to live with.

(Well, it was fun while it lasted. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

According to multiple reports, veteran middleweight Denis Kang has been released from his UFC contract following his second-round TKO loss to Michael Bisping at UFC 105, officially making him the UFC’s Biggest Bust of 2009. Once considered a top-ten middleweight due to his impressive performances in PRIDE and Spirit MC — including an epic 23-fight stretch in 2003-2006 where he didn’t lose a single match — Kang has now lost five of his last nine attempts, including two out of three in the UFC. The dismissal is somewhat surprising since Kang hadn’t lost two in a row, and his scrap with Bisping earned UFC 105′s Fight of the Night. Still, his employers didn’t see a future with him in their organization, and he’s on the free market again. According to MMA Fanhouse, Kang is currently in talks with several promotions in the US and abroad.

Other recent UFC firings include…

(Tell him, Dana…)

After he was slapped with a disqualification loss following the 12-6 elbow incident at the The Ultimate Fighter 10 Finale, Jon Jones told reporters that he was at peace with the fight’s result: "I try to look at everything in life for the best, and now I’m not worried about being undefeated anymore. I can go out there and be more relaxed…I’m going to bounce back stronger."

But after a couple days to reflect and re-watch the fight, Jones and his management team are somewhat less at peace with the DQ ruling, and they now plan to appeal the decision. Their argument rests on a subtle but important point: It was Matt Hamill‘s shoulder that prevented him from continuing in the fight, not his illegally-busted nose, but he wasn’t able to communicate that information to referee Steve Mazzagatti because he couldn’t hear or see what was going on, and his sign-language-interpreter wasn’t brought in to help clarify.

(Okay, that’s just mean. Props: MMA TKO)

If you couldn’t tell by his decision to use Weird Al Yankovic’s "Fat" as his entrance music, or by his constant, unpaid endorsements of Burger King, Roy Nelson is trying to use his corpulent physique to his advantage.  In a way, that’s smart.  If people are going to think of him as the UFC’s fat guy, he might as well embrace it the way Tito Ortiz has embraced being the UFC’s guy who just says stuff. 

But at a certain point all the jokes about your own shortcomings cease to be charmingly self-deprecating and begin to be a little annoying.  For example, take "Big Country’s" description of himself as "the official UFC suckmeter."  As he told Steve Cofield, "If you can’t get past me, you’ll get that call from Joe Silva saying you can’t fight no more."

(Dan also took his stapler and three boxes of ballpoint pens from the supply closet. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

Dana White has never been one to lose a fight gracefully. Now that Dan Henderson has scampered off to rival fight club Strikeforce, it’s time for DW to start telling everybody what a farce Hendo is. As White explained to MMA Fanhouse:

(Justin Wren: The mohawk and tattoo say "badass." The leopard-print shorty-shorts say "barback at a gay nightclub." / Photo courtesy of the UFC TUF Finale: Weigh Ins set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

Spoilers after the jump…

(Fun Fact: Jon Jones has the longest recorded reach in UFC history. Deal with it, Lesnar.)

Jon Jones always seems to come up with creative ways to get himself mentally prepared for a fight.  If you had read this Fight Magazine cover story, you’d know all about his decision to mark out Stephan Bonnar‘s physical dimensions with pieces of tape on the wall of his home, just as a daily reminder of where Bonnar’s head would be when they finally got in the cage together.  To get ready for Matt Hamill, he says he decided to go back and watch some of his own fights with the sound off, and it actually helped him gain a little extra understanding of his deaf opponent:

"I’m trying to put myself in his head, see what he sees," said Jones. "It also helps to not be influenced by the commentary. Sometimes you hear [UFC color commentator Joe Rogan] say stuff like, ‘What a huge right hand,’ and it changes the way you see things. I want to know what he’s seeing when he looks at me and figure out what he might try to do. Without the sound, you really see a lot more of the details that you usually miss."

That’s one way of getting in your opponent’s head.  Jones also talked about his grueling training camp at Greg Jackson’s gym, saying he now feels like Rashad Evans and Keith Jardine are his "big brothers."  Guess that means there’s one more Jackson’s camp guy who absolutely, positively won’t fight his teammates for any amount of money.  Somewhere, steam is coming out of Dana White’s ears.

(Now *that’s* the smile of a savvy investor.)

There was a time, not long ago, when Quinton Jackson’s only desire was gettin’ that belt back. Now he’s off chasing his cinematic whims, and the UFC is putting on a New Year’s card headlined by Rashad Evans vs. Thiago Silva. It’s a sad, sad state of affairs. But as many of us predicted, Rampage’s retirement won’t last forever. As he wrote on his website, in a blog post titled "Hate on dis":

(Rodney Wallace’s 8-second KO of Carlos Zevallos at a Revolution Fighting Championships event last December. Fight starts at the 2:27 mark; yeah, it’s kinda B.S., but a win’s a win.)

In addition to the reality show hopefuls and UFC vets that will be competing on Saturday, there will also be two guys who will be stepping into the Octagon for the very first time. They’re both undefeated, and they both have awesome nicknames. These are their stories…

RODNEY "Sho Nuff the Master" WALLACE (LHW)
Experience: 9-0 record (six wins via decision) with notable victories over Toni Valtonen, Antwain Britt and Aaron Stark. Last competed in September, when he won an eight-man VFC tournament in Aruba.
Will be fighting: Brian Stann (7-2, 1-1 UFC)
Lowdown: A member of the Team ROC crew in Harrisburg, North Carolina, the 28-year-old Sho Nuff has only been competing professionally since last April. Wallace was a three-time state champion while wrestling in high school, but transitioned to football at Catawba College, where he was a star running back. After graduating, he started training in jiu-jitsu and boxing, won a few Toughman matches, and compiled a 4-1 pro record in the ring. At 5’9", he’ll be giving up some height to most of the guys in the UFC’s light-heavyweight division, but he doesn’t think that will be a factor against Stann: "I have no doubt in my mind that I’m a better fighter than him. My only battle is going in there and staying poised the whole time."

(Kimbo, if the diet plan includes cocaine, cigarettes, and vomiting, it’s possible that you may be getting weight cutting advice from the wrong people.)

As the only fighter from season ten of "The Ultimate Fighter" to get a spot on the finale without winning a single fight in the tournament, you might think Kimbo Slice would be stoked simply to be getting the opportunity to show what he can do.  Considering the fact that he’s a heavyweight who is being handed a custom-made catchweight bout with a non-grappler from the weight class below his, you might even expect him to be damn near chipper about the whole thing.  You’d be wrong. 

On a media conference call to discuss this weekend’s finale fights, Slice revealed that he’s been struggling to make the roughly twenty-pound weight cut.  Though he only has to get down to 215 pounds, Slice said that so far the pound-shedding experience has been "not good," adding that the struggle has left him "moody" and generally mentally distressed. 

(Don Zimmer‘s quest to become an Ultimate Fighter meets an abrupt ending…)

From UFC.com:

(Who doesn’t love a sweaty staring contest?)

When it was initially announced that Vitor Belfort was getting the next crack at UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva, everyone from Ed Soares to Belfort himself acknowledged that this was at least partially bullshit.  The good news is that, with Anderson Silva still sidelined due to a lingering injury, Belfort looks like he’ll get his chance to prove he deserves the shot in a top contender bout with Nate Marquardt.  Think of it as a rare instance of an injury pullout by a UFC champ resulting in a fight that probably makes more sense than the original title contest.  When you think about how often this type of thing has been happening to the UFC of late, it only makes sense that sooner or later it would have to turn out to be a blessing in disguise.  That’s just the law of averages at work.

Meanwhile, let’s take a step back and look at the current state of the UFC championship belts:

(Hughes isn’t even going to pretend to be interested in Dana White’s slides from his vacation to Disneyworld.  Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

Matt Hughes may finally have a date for his next UFC bout, though he doesn’t have an official opponent just yet.  According to his blog, Hughes says he’ll likely be back in action on April 10, which would put him on the UFC 112 fight card.  He says he’ll tell fans "who and where" he’ll be fighting when it’s officially confirmed.  Renzo Gracie has been mentioned as a possible opponent for Hughes, though the Brazilian later shot down reports that the two would get it on as soon as February.  The mere fact that Hughes hasn’t publicly shot down the idea of facing Gracie, as he has with almost every other plausible suggestion offered to him, is somewhat encouraging. 

In other news via Hughes’ blog, Robbie Lawler and his wife are expecting a baby boy in February.  Hughes acknowledged that the information wasn’t "quite public, but I’ve never been that guy to keep my mouth shut."  It’s probably best he went ahead and told us.  A quick glance at Robbie Lawler’s blog reveals that he’s written a grand total of twelve entries in a year and a half, and none since July.  And here I always just assumed that Lawler’s blog would be a steady stream of You Tube clips of kittens doing cute stuff.  Guess you never really know anyone as well as you think you do.

(How quickly they forget that time you totally jumped out of that pool.)

It’s a real bummer of a Monday for Jake Rosholt, as the 8-2 middleweight announced on his Twitter that he’s been cut from the UFC following a first-round submission loss to Kendall Grove at UFC 106.  Rosholt was terse about the whole thing, writing only: "Not a good day.  Just found out I got cut by the #UFC." 

Rosholt, a Division I wrestling champ and four-time All American at Oklahoma State, was undefeated before transitioning from the WEC to the UFC earlier this year, but he’s gone 1-2 since stepping in the Octagon, with his lone win coming via arm triangle chokeout against Chris Leben at UFC 102 in August.  What’s got to make this a really tough pill for Rosholt to swallow is that, right up until he got caught in that triangle, he was dominating Grove.  He pushed him all over the cage, took him down with ease, and appeared to be on his way toward a quick victory.  But one little mistake cost him the fight, and as an extra little kick in the balls he now he finds himself out of a job. 

Obviously some other organization can find a use for him, and it seems very likely that he’ll make his way back to the UFC in the future, but for right now it has to sting knowing that he should be spending his win bonus and thinking about who’s next.  Instead he’s circling the MMA want ads and reusing Ziploc bags to save money.  Just goes to show how easily fortunes change in this sport.  Keep your head up, Jake. 

(Don’t worry, buddy, Cory Booker has done wonders with the murder rate.)

If MMA Fanhouse is to be believed, Georges St. Pierre‘s next welterweight title defense against Dan Hardy won’t go down in Canada, Las Vegas, or the U.K. According to a source with knowledge of the situation, the scrap will instead go down in March at the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. It would be the UFC’s first visit to Jerz since UFC 78. Fanhouse offers the only possible explanation:

Following UFC 105, Hardy told reporters "I’ll fight [GSP] in Canada, in Vegas, in the U.K., on the moon, in a phone box on the corner, in the car park. As long as he brings his belt along for me to take off, I don’t really mind. This is a great opportunity and I’ll fight him anywhere." He then added, "Well, anywhere but Newark, obviously. Good Lord, man, have you seen that place?"*

* Clarification: Hardy didn’t actually say this last bit. Our apologies to any Brick City residents who took this seriously…

The Dana White video blog has once again reared its head to give us a glimpse of the fight night happenings surrounding UFC 106.  Mostly it’s a lot of DW wandering around, shaking hands, going back to the locker room and asking fighters if they’re ready to go (there’s only one right answer to that question), then congratulating the winners and consoling the losers afterwards.  At the 6:55 mark Dana has an uncomfortable encounter with Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson, who insists, "He got robbed," even as White tries to avoid looking at her as best as he can.  The whole conversation proves once again that Ortiz’s bitching and complaining never stops — it never even takes a breather.  Josh Koscheck, as you might imagine, is less than sympathetic.

If all this bores you, just skip to the end to see Ariel Helwani get some extended camera time, this time wisely wearing a shirt not made out of bathrobe material.  Chris Horodecki speaking up, plus an entertaining little fight, await you after the jump.

(‘Look dog, I spent five hours baking this loaf of bread. Now you eatin’ it one way or another.’)

Spike TV and the UFC are still trying to play it close to the vest when it comes to who Kimbo Slice will be facing in his official Octagon debut at next weekend’s “Ultimate Fighter” finale. Too bad they’re the only ones concerned with keeping it under wraps. Slice already removed the element of surprise somewhat with a recent Twitter posting, but in an appearance on the “Todd N Tyler” radio show (via Bloody Elbow), Houston Alexander said several times that he’ll be taking on someone named Kevin Ferguson at the event. The hosts of the show naturally follow this statement up with a bunch of lame puns about Kimbo’s name, because they’re radio hosts and a certain number of lame puns per hour is required by their contracts.

In addition to telling us that he is the undisclosed first UFC opponent for Ferg, Alexander also insists that he’s “practicing boxing, takedown defense, it’s just crazy.” Man, that is crazy. It’s almost like he’s preparing for a fight with both stand-up and ground aspects. Though, Mr. Alexander, allow us to make a suggestion: kick him in the leg. Over and over again. The TUF editors have basically begged you to.

("Hey. My eyes are up here.")

The Ultimate Fighter‘s Darrill Schoonover isn’t just a promising heavyweight with a minor drinking problem and disturbing tattoos; he’s also a U.S. Army veteran who spent four years serving our country. Schoonover will make his official UFC debut at the TUF 10 finale on December 5th, but his long-term career plans just became a little more uncertain. As he explained on Shambala Sports Radio:

Damn, dude. Can’t Dana pull some strings? It would be just his luck that Darrill wins the contract, then has to take off to hunt Bin Laden’s homeboys — a perfect end to a season where the coaches don’t even fight. Schoonover will be deployed for 400 days, and hopes to lose enough weight so that he can compete at light-heavyweight in the future. But no matter who he faces next month at the TUF 10 finale, he’ll be in good company…

(Massive props: GYVIDEOS, The Killers)

Cro Cop‘s head kicks. The Gracie Train. The double-knockout. The Randleplex. The flying inverse triangle choke. Severn‘s suplexes. Inoki’s slaps. Coleman‘s daughters. The entrance. The face-off. The blood. The towel. The destroyed limbs. The shaving gel endorsement. The agony and the ecstasy. The subtitle of this film is "MMA Is Just a Sport." We know better than that. Two more GY PRODUCTION films are after the jump. Happy Monday.

According to Brock Lesnar‘s jiu-jitsu coach, Rodrigo "Comprido" Medeiros, the big man is healing up after his surgery and will "be fighting again within six months."  That means Lesnar-Carwin could take place this spring, and there will be no need for an interim title or any other such nonsense.  Great, right?  Only maybe we should consider the possibility, however minor, that "Comprido" is substituting blind optimism for medical knowledge.

If we can believe what Dana White says, Lesnar had a hole in his intestine that was leaking stuff into his stomach.  I’m no more a doctor than I am a jiu-jitsu world champion, but that sounds like the kind of thing that could sideline a man for a little while.  Even if the surgery was completely successful in repairing the problems, Lesnar will probably need to rest for a little while before returning to the kind of intense training that might prepare him for a title defense. 

In other words, let’s take this six month promise with a grain of salt.  While it’s believable that Lesnar may heal much faster than your average mortal, it’s also possible that he might need more time to put this behind him and get in shape to defend a heavyweight championship.  Especially after what those Canadian doctors did to him.