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CagePotato.com Presents: The 2014 Potato Awards

Tag: UFC

OSP vs. Shogun: Actual (LEGAL) Footage of the Brutal Finish

Sometimes we hate being right. Last night on Twitter, we predicted Ovince St. Preux would run through Mauricio “Shogun” Rua without effort. We had no idea how prescient our tweet would be.

As you can see above, OSP dispatched the Pride legend without even exerting himself. It only took 34 seconds. To make it worse, Shogun absorbed a ton of unnecessary damage as Mario Yamasaki let OSP batter the Brazilian’s skull. Such slack-jawed gawking aside, this fight was entertaining for the violent spectacle that it was. OSP isn’t a man to write off, and Shogun definitely needs to retire in this point.

There were some other fights last night as well, but they weren’t really anything to write home about (and if you did wrote home about them, you’d get a reply that’s like “What are you talking about? Who the fuck are these people?”). But in case you’re one of the TRUE HARDCORE ULTIMATE BAD BOYZ who comments about how much we hate MMA on our Facebook page, we’ll post the card’s full results. Check them out after the jump.

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ICYMI: Ian McCall Actually ISN’T Fighting Tonight Due to Illness

UFC Fight Night 56 just lost its co-main event: Ian McCall vs. John Lineker.

The UFC made an announcement about McCall’s condition earlier this morning, stating that McCall had “taken ill” after the weigh ins in Brazil and withdrew as a result.

There is no replacement for McCall, so Lineker just won’t fight and Alan Jouban vs. Warlley Alves will be upgraded to co-main event.

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Bummer Alert: Cristiane Justino’s Bantamweight Debut Delayed Due to Injury


(Photo via Getty)

We’re going to have to wait a little longer to see if Cristiane Justino can make 135 pounds.

Justino was scheduled to fight at bantamweight for the very first time at Invicta FC 10. Alas, the MMA gods are cruel and spiteful creatures. “Cyborg” recently sustained an ankle injury (a tear of her anterior talofibular ligament, according to Sherdog) and won’t be able to fight.

BUMMER.

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The UFC Needs to Massively Scale Down The Amount of PPVs Each Year


(“PPV buys are higher than ever, dummies. These goofy Internet fucks know NOTHING. Everything is fine.”—Dana White doing his best impersonation of this guy. / Photo via Getty)

By Mike Fagan

Cain Velasquez became another victim (again) of the UFC’s so-called “injury bug,” pulling out of UFC 180 with a knee injury. This is great news for people who want to see a weirdo holding a UFC heavyweight title as Mark Hunt stepped in to fight original challenger Fabricio Werdum. This is bad news for fans who want to watch the greatest heavyweight talent in the sport since Fedor Emelianenko. It’s horrible news for the UFC, who set up this event in Mexico City to both help cultivate the Mexican market and provide a similar atmosphere for Velasquez that Conor McGregor received in Ireland earlier this year.

It’s another blow to the UFC’s pay-per-view business. UFC Chairman and CEO Lorenzo Fertitta told Sports Business Daily that “about 80 percent” of fights they wanted to put on have been cancelled. That’s probably an exaggeration (at least if we’re looking at the entirety of the UFC’s matchmaking), but the reality isn’t much better. Of the 14 events including and between UFC 168 and UFC 181 (including the cancelled UFC 176), only five have escaped an injury to a fighter in either the main or co-main event. That is, 64% of UFC PPVs within that timeframe have had alterations or cancellations to one of the featured bouts at the top of the card.

Combined with the loss of Georges St-Pierre (quasi-retirement) and Anderson Silva (wishboned leg), the injuries at the top of marquee events have led the UFC to its worst year on pay-per-view since 2005. In 2005, the UFC ran six pay-per-view events for a total of 950,000 buys and an average of 158,000 per event. This year hasn’t been that bad (2.22M total buys/277,500 per event), but that’s far below the “down years” of 2011-13. (It should be noted that those “down years” are in line with the total PPV business the UFC did prior to the 2009-10 Lesnar Era.)

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Cutting Through The Bullsh*t: UFC 179 Edition

By Alex Giardini

UFC 179: “Aldo vs. Mendes 2” proved to be exactly what we expected it to be, and that was a one-fight boxing card with a scintillating main event for the ages. The “greatest featherweight fight in history” was nothing short of amazing, with Jose Aldo defeating Chad Mendes for the second time after knocking out “Money” at UFC 142 almost three years ago. The battle was full of wild punches, eye pokes, a lot of heavy breathing, and at times, flying shit that didn’t land.

With a certain “joker” sitting cageside, let’s examine UFC 179, and why it was great and equally pathetic…

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And Now He’s “Semi-Retired”: Martin Kampmann’s Indecisive Retirement Speech

Remember Martin Kampmann, Potato Chips (that’s what we call our fans now).

Seeing as he hasn’t fought in over a year, we kind of almost forgot he existed.

If you’re struggling to remember, Kampmann hasn’t fought since a 2013 TKO loss to Carlos Condit. Before that, he was knocked out by Johny Hendricks at UFC 154 in 2012.

Despite the inactivity and two-fight losing streak, Kampmann isn’t done (yet). He told MMA Fighting the following…

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Cringe-worthy Interview of the Day: CBS Interviews Arianny Celeste

Have you ever felt you were destined to be far more than just a model? More than just a pretty face gracing the covers of magazines?

Well Arianny Celeste did!

That’s why a local CBS affiliate in Las Vegas interviewed the ring card girl (which is like 20,000 steps above “model” on the hierarchy). Perhaps the worst/best part of the interview is the first 30-40 seconds where the host gives Arianny the most laughable, over-the-top introduction of all time. Here’s a transcript:

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Here’s What a UFC Magic the Gathering Set Looks Like

You didn’t hear about Dana White’s latest announcement: An MMA-related Magic the Gathering set?

Well,there’s a reason you didn’t hear about it: It didn’t happen. Thankfully, one of our favorite past times is figuring out what products should needlessly be merged with our MMA obsession. A few days ago, we arrived at Magic the Gathering (MTG for short). We played the addictive card game back in high school. We wondered what a set of MTG that spans the entire MMA world might look like. The below cards–featuring the likes of Dana White, Conor McGregor, Greg Jackson, as well as several “MMA memes”–are the result of our mental meandering.

A few notes: We haven’t played Magic in about 10 years so some of the gameplay semantics might not be totally accurate. Also, some of the abilities are for the purposes of chiding MMA as only irreverent CagePotato can. All real photos in the cards come from Getty Images, save for the photo of “Minowaman” Ikuhisa Minowa, which comes from Sherdog. Another card’s image comes from a YouTube screen capture (you’ll know which one).

With that, here are the cards. We hope you enjoy them:

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Weekend Roundup: Ex-WSOF Champ *Throws* Fight, God-Awful Tattoos, UFC Overload & More


(Photo via Getty)

By Alex Giardini

The weekend is in the books, and although many of you were indulging in baseball playoffs and college football madness, there was plenty of MMA to equally boast and complain about. Apart from the always-vibrant regional circuit, which included MFC 41 and SFL 35 last Saturday night (watch a dude go through the cage door looking like he was on the wrong end of a Stone Cold Stunner right here), there were four major MMA shows taking place in 48 hours, two of which came from the same promotion that may or may not be ruining the sport with its inflated and overstressed schedule.

To top it all off, there were also a handful of stories outside the cage to boast about, some amusing and some downright miserable.

Here is the Cage Potato “Weekend Roundup,” and quite frankly, the only recap you need:

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Save 5 Hours and Watch This Rory MacDonald vs. Tarec Saffiedine Full Fight Video Highlight

Rory MacDonald beat Tarec Saffiedine pretty handily last night at UFC Fight Night 54. He out-pointed the Belgian in the first and second rounds, then finished the fight in the third with an uppercut and some nice ground and pound. But don’t read about us telling you the results, see it above for yourself with the actual full-fight video highlights from the event.

Of course, the best part of the fight didn’t make the video: MacDonald’s RIDICULOUSLY awkward post-fight celebration. Yeah, wow.

Did anything else cool happen?

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