Aftermath of the riot. Videos of the riot after the jump.

While you were up last night planning your totally original “My girlfriend is pregnant” Facebook post, our friends across the pond were trading punches at a Lockdown MMA event. Unfortunately, the action wasn’t confined to just the cage, as unruly fans decided to ignore live event etiquette and fight among themselves. And when British people actually ignore etiquette, my god do they ignore etiquette.

This wasn’t your “Drunk, Affliction wearing fauxhawk guy trades telegraphed haymakers with drunk, Silver Star wearing tribal tattoo guy” brawl that you occasionally see at live events. This was a full blown riot that saw fans throwing bottles and chairs at each other for several minutes. Fortunately, a Cagepotato reader (who wishes to remain anonymous) tipped us off as to what started the riot, which is available after the jump.

(Props: Spike.com. Click the image to see the video.) 

Spike TV has released a new preview clip for The Ultimate Fighter: United States vs. United Kingdom (premiering April 1st at 10 p.m. ET/PT), in which UFC prez Dana White arrives at Wolfslair to check out the British hopefuls during the elimination round. We learn that before their fight at UFC 93, Rich Franklin and Dan Henderson both had to fly to England to assess the talent, just in case, and we get a taste of the first indecipherable British accent when Gary Kelly pronounces "my record" as "me lachoad." Unsurprisingly, Gary is the brother of Paul Kelly, who has already become infamous for his post-fight interviews. Where the hell are these two from, anyway? Mushmouth-upon-Tyne?

(Props: MMA Fanhouse.)

I admit it, after watching the above promo video for season nine of Spike TV’s “The Ultimate Fighter,” I’m excited.  Maybe the hokey “It’s U.S. Against Them” tagline is working on me, or maybe (probably) I’m just a sucker for The Sex Pistols.  

Regardless, the part of me that wants to believe fighters when they blame positive steroid tests on totally legit nutritional supplements also wants to believe that TUF can be fun again.  And who knows, maybe exploiting nationalistic loyalties and hilarious cultural differences (just wait until the first time a Brit fighter talks about smoking fags) is the perfect solution for the stale formatting and predictable antic-heavy presentation.  With that in mind, here are the five things I’d like to see from “The Ultimate Fighter” this time around:

1. Don’t Make Me Feel Bad About Myself For Watching This

Look, Spike TV producers.  I’m a male between the ages of 18-34, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch grown men drink one another’s urine.  In fact, when I find myself watching a show that is ostensibly about fighting, and yet the bulk of the episode is dedicated to the ingestion of bodily fluids, I start to question some of the decisions I’ve made that have brought me to this point.  It’s the same with property destruction.  We’ve seen it.  There isn’t any new ground to break (pun intended).  Please, let’s grow up a little and move on.

(Photo courtesy of SI.com)

Another UFC event is in the books, which means it’s time again to see who’s up and who’s down according to the Potato Index’s arbitrary numerical rankings system.  It’s kind of like Bob Reilly’s poll, only we admit it’s total bullshit.  And at least this particular brand of bullshit is more fun.

Diego Sanchez +123

“The Nightmare” proved he can cut almost forty pounds and still go three rounds at a steady pace.  That could be bad news for some other lightweight contenders, though it would still be interesting to see how he stacks up against one of the better wrestlers in the division.  Sean Sherk’s not too busy, is he?

Joe Stevenson -88

Another disappointing performance for Stevenson leaves us wondering where he can possibly go from here.  He just doesn’t seem to have enough in his toolbox to hang with the top fighters, and secluding himself in Victorville, which is not known for its elite training facilities, certainly isn’t helping.

Demian Maia +204

If you’re going to do only one thing, you’d better do it extremely well, and Maia does.  He forces another quality opponent to fight on his terms and puts him away with impressive ease.  Is there any middleweight not named Anderson Silva who can pose a significant threat to him at this point?

Dan Hardy made a successful UFC debut against journeyman Akihiro Gono at UFC 89, and now he moves up to the main card to take on Miletich camp slugger Rory Markham at UFC 95 this Saturday.  In this exclusive interview “The Outlaw” discusses his strategy for avoiding Markham’s big bombs, the U.K. MMA scene, and the trademark Mohawk that he sports in honor of his nation’s punk rock pioneers.

CagePotato.com: Thanks for talking with me, Dan.  What are you expecting out of Rory Markham on Saturday, and what’s your gameplan for dealing with him?

I expect him to come to try and knock me out.  I don’t think it’s any secret what his gameplan’s going to be.  My gameplan is going to be to stay out of the way of his punches and land my own strikes and wear him down.  I think I’ve got the endurance advantage.  I’ve been the distance in a few of my fights and he’s never experienced the end of that third round.  I think I’ve got the advantage in conditioning and I’ll be able to drag the fight on a little longer until I get the chance to knock him out.

(Photo courtesy of Zoo Magazine.)

Man, Daniel Radcliffe is going to be pissed.  According to the readers of Britain’s Zoo Magazine, the UFC’s Michael Bisping is the U.K.’s "coolest" man of the year.  Upon hearing the good news, Bisping described himself as “shocked.”  

You know who else is shocked?  Bear Gryllis.  That bad-ass survivalist dude from the Discovery Channel.  He finished seventh in the voting.  Seventh!!!!  And he drank elephant poop!  Hell, Noel Gallagher from Oasis was third.  Sup with that, Brtiain?  You guys feeling okay?

When it came to analyzing the meaning of these results, Zoo’s editor chalked it up to the “growing influence that UFC is having on young men in Britain,” as well as a changing economic and cultural climate. 

Other notables on the list:

4. Jason Statham (that guy)
5. Daniel Craig (James Bond)
12. Christian Bale (effing Batman, yo)
24. Ricky Gervais (this dude)
33. Simon Cowell (just stop)
36. Morissey (I thought you said “coolest?”)
60. Paul McCartney (he’s still British?)
86. Sacha Baron Cohen (if this isn’t cool, what is?)

In other Bisping news, the Wolfslair fighter tells MMA Bay that he’s not concerned about a potential bout with submissions grand wizard Demian Maia, because:

(Let’s try this again, “Ace”, this time with a little enthusiasm.)

Despite the fact that UFC 93 and 95 are taking place in Dublin and London respectively, they will not air for free on Spike TV, reports MMA Rated. Does that mean you’re going to have to pay more of your rapidly dwindling cash to see an event that goes live in the middle of the afternoon? Either that or wait until the videos hit the internet, and for some reason it’s considered “troubling behavior” for me to drink in front of my computer at ten o’clock on a Sunday morning, even though it’s perfectly acceptable to do it in front of the TV on a Saturday. I blame this Puritanical society.

The explanation for why this is happening centers around Spike TV’s production budget. Broadcasting these overseas events is costly, and since both UFC 93 and 95 take place within the first two months of 2009, that would mean blowing a big portion of their budget in the first quarter. This, my friends, is a side effect of the UFC going global.

So now we’re looking at three pay-per-views in the first sixty days of the new year from the UFC, plus another one on January 24 from Affliction. I don’t know what your disposable income looks like these days, but it sure seems like someone’s got to lose in this scenario. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you could only afford two of these events without being forced to make extra money by letting your creepy neighbor install that webcam he keeps talking about. What’s it gonna be: Fedor-Arlovski (Affliction), Franklin-Henderson (UFC 93, with a side order of Coleman-Rua), Penn-St. Pierre (UFC 94), or Liddell-Silva (UFC 95, hopefully)? As a bonus question, how important will the undercards of said events be in your decision-making?

(Will Michael Bisping follow in Forrest Griffin’s footsteps? Photo courtesy of daylife.com)

From TheSun.co.uk:

Michael Bisping is hot favourite to be named as one of the coaches on the new series of The Ultimate Fighter…

The UFC have not yet offered Bisping the coach’s role on TUF 9 because he is scheduled to fight Chris Leben at UFC 89 at the Birmingham National Indoor Arena on October 18.

But SunSport understands Dana White will immediately hand the British star a contract to appear on the show if he overcomes Leben next month.

It is believed Dan Henderson will coach the US team, with the TUF 9 finale featuring him in a clash for the #1 middleweight contender’s spot against Bisping, which could take place in December next year.

As the UFC’s only British star, it makes sense that the TUF 3 winner would be chosen as a coach for the “U.S. vs. U.K.” season of The Ultimate Fighter. But it also makes you wonder who will be picked to lead the British team if Bisping loses to Leben. We’re assuming it would still be Bisping — but then would a fight between him and Hendo really be a #1 contender match? When contacted by MMA Weekly, The Count confirmed that he hadn’t been made an offer yet, but he’d certainly be open to one:

- Because he loves him some publicity, Dana White will appear on A&E’s “Mindfreak” with magician Criss Angel tonight. You say you’re not going to watch, but let’s not kid ourselves. You’re going to pretend to watch the Democratic National Convention, then get bored when there are no crazy MMA riots breaking out, and suddenly you’re thinking, ‘Man, my mind could really use a good freaking right about now.’ Boom! A&E’s got you covered. If you want a taste of Criss Angel’s particularly cloying brand of magic, I recommend this little gem.

- The ever-elusive Lyoto Machida says his fight against Thiago Silva at UFC 89 isn’t going to be another snoozefest. As he told Tatame: “I believe this fight won’t go to decision… Thiago likes to fight aggressively, me too, he has good MMA techniques, so I believe this fight might finish before the third round.” Seems like he stops just short of actually committing to finishing, or saying that he’ll be the one to finish it. Even this guy’s interviews are, um, tactical.

- Chuck Liddell’s nutritional supplement company, Iceman Rx, is anticipating a Liddell victory over Rashad Evans at UFC 88. They’re even running a sweepstakes to coincide with UFC 92, where Liddell might conceivably challenge Forrest Griffin for the UFC light heavyweight title if he is victorious next weekend. And what does the winner of that sweepstakes get? An Iceman Rx Hummer H2. Even has a picture of Liddell on the side. Rumor has it he only decided to give it away after seeing what happened to Rampage. I started that rumor.

- You thought our jokes about the Tito Ortiz/Jenna Jameson baby news were in poor taste? Just check out The Sun. They pull no punches over in the UK press, and their photoshops are meaner. Kudos to them for referring to Jenna’s porn flicks as “blue movies.” That mixture of cruelty and decorum is why I love the Brits.

(Rodriguez/Monson 2 is slated for 5/17 in Newcastle.)

A horde of UFC vets will invade Newcastle, England, on May 17th, as the Combat Fighting Championships organization is hosting its first U.K. show at the Metro Radio Arena. The main event is a heavyweight brawl between former UFC heavyweight champ and Celebrity Rehab alum Ricco Rodriguez and Jeff “The Snowman” Monson; the two fighters previously met at UFC 35 (1/11/02), where Rodriguez scored a TKO victory in the third round. The co-headining bout will feature middleweights David “The Crow” Loiseau (who was 4-3 in the UFC) and Terry Martin, who was recently rumored to have been released from his UFC contract after his decision loss to Marvin Eastman at UFC 81 brought his Octagon record to 2-4; at the very least, this confirms that he’ll be working up his record in other clubs for a while. Featured on the rest of the impressively stacked card are Melvin Guillard (who will be facing Cage Rage featherweight Jean “White Bear” Silva), Brad Imes, Melvin Manhoef, Xavier Foupa-Pokam, and a bout between Travis Wiuff (who will be fighting in YAMMA’s heavyweight GP next month) and Cyrille Diabate.

It’s unclear how the CFC — which had previously only hosted shows in Orlando, Florida, and without any significant stars — has managed to generate enough juice to book a card in a British arena with so many recognizable MMA names, but this may be the first direct example of the UFC’s international expansion efforts leading the way for other American promotions to hold non-domestic events; the Metro Radio Arena previously hosted UFC 80. If you’ll be on the other side of the pond you can watch the action on Sky Sports or buy tickets here.

Even though Cage Rage employs a deep stable of Brit beauties to remind audiences what round they’re watching, Laura Jones still manages to stand out. The Essex-bred brunette has been a Playboy Cyber Girl, a model for every major U.K. men’s magazine, and is a presenter for a daily SkyTV/Freeview show called Party People. See more of Laura’s work after the jump…