(You see, kids, this is why we don’t break the fourth rule of Project Mayhem. Photo via Complex)

By Jason Moles

As is customary, nay tradition, around these parts, we’re hitting the eggnog early and often this week — thus, the obligatory Top 10 list to close out another year in the world of mixed martial arts. It’s not all fluff, though: Last year we predicted a champion would test positive for a banned substance and Brock Lesnar would retire. Not bad, huh? So grab a seat while we break out the crystal ball and see what 2013 has in store for us.

1.) Showtime stays in the MMA biz, will announce deal with Invicta FC and others.

MMA is just too popular to completely wash your hands of. Showtime may finally be done with Strikeforce, but that only means they’re now free to partner up with the likes of all-female Invicta FC or the World Series of Fighting, both of which could be looking for more permanent homes after their early success in 2012. Don’t let the Invicta PPV news fool you; they can’t win that battle. No matter who inks the deal, expect Showtime to counter-program at least one UFC event.

2.) A Ronda Rousey loss brings about the swift execution of women’s MMA in the UFC.

(Not pictured: Fabricio Werdum and Junior Dos Santos, merrily sharing a caipirinha.)

All of Roy Nelson‘s rabble-rousing about drug-testing has paid off…sort of. While Big Country has been campaigning to have his upcoming fight against Shane Carwin overseen by the Voluntary Anti-Doping Agency (VADA), it was confirmed today that the Nevada State Athletic Commission has informed both fighters that they’ll be subject to random testing at some point before their December 15th meeting at the TUF 16 Finale. The fighters will need to provide samples within 24 hours of request, and the results will be returned in approximately two weeks.

(Serious question: The NSAC is completely within its rights to randomly drug test fighters out of competition, so why is it necessary to inform those fighters that that’s what it intends to do? I’m just saying, if you were Nelson or Carwin, and you were, hypothetically, using steroids up until yesterday, and the NSAC calls you and says they’re going to randomly test you sometime in the next two months, wouldn’t that be your signal to stop using PEDs immediately and hope they’re out of your system by the time they ask for your piss?)

If you’ve been keeping up on this story, you know that Carwin’s camp had been against VADA’s involvement from the beginning, with Shane’s manager Jason Genet calling VADA an “opportunistic” organization with an “anti-Shane” bias, and questioning why an independent testing body is any better than the athletic commission testing currently in place for MMA fighters. “I’m questioning where the relevancy coming from,” Genet said earlier this week. “As a manager, it’s not that I wouldn’t agree with outside testing. I want to know what’s wrong with what’s currently taking place.”

(If only the fight were held under West Coast Pose-Down rules, Bonnar would actually have a chance. / Photo via MMAFighting.com, click for full-size image.)

- Cops: Jeremy Stephens’ Alleged Victim Beaten Unconscious, Stopped Breathing Twice (MMAFighting)

- UFC 153: Bonnar vs. Silva, Tex Cobb vs. Larry Holmes and Courage Through Standing in Front of a Locomotive (BloodyElbow)

- Erick Silva Talks Twilight Series, Fighting Jon Fitch (HeavyMMA)

- Jon Fitch: Getting Title Shots Is A ‘Popularity Contest’ (Fightline)

- VADA Offers Drug Testing for TUF Finale Main Event, Carwin’s Camp Says That’s News to Them (MMAWeekly)

- Bellator 76′s Rad Martinez Out to Prove He’s no ‘Charity Case’ (MMAJunkie)

- Emily Ratajkowski Gets Saucy with Sara Underwood in Carl’s Jr Ad (MensFitness)

- 30 Hilarious Animal Photobombs (Complex)

- The Ultimate Faceplants Compilation (WorldWideInterweb)

- Chefs of Anarchy: New York’s Best Fries (MadeMan)

- Christopher Walken Reads “Honey Boo Boo” (ScreenJunkies)

- Russian Soldiers Flee Exploding Ammunition Stockpiles (EgoTV)

- B*tch, Get Off My Bus: Uppercut Edition (WorldStar, Baby)

(Careful, BJ — drinking Sean Sherk’s blood is one of the easiest ways to get a false positive.)

In a Floyd Mayweather-esque bit of gamesmanship, BJ Penn went on twitter yesterday to make a unique “offer” to his next opponent, welterweight prodigy Rory MacDonald:

“VADA anti-doping has offered to sponsor our upcoming fight. I’ve accepted and invite you to help me clean up the sport. VADA results will be released after the fight to ensure that the fight happens. Lets get started asap!!”

You see what he did there? If Rory refuses to undergo VADA’s voluntary PED screenings, well then he’s a doper, and by extension, all the accusations that Penn previously made about MacDonald’s mentor Georges St. Pierre were accurate, and BJ Penn is the last honest man in the sport. (Like the fight itself, this whole VADA business just seems to be a way for Penn to stick it to his old buddy GSP.)