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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Making “The Karate Kid” Look Legit


(These techniques only work if you SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN THE ENTIRE TIME)

Despite MMA’s emergence into world, people still believe training non-contact spaz punches and flaccid, weak throws against compliant opponents will teach you how to be an unstoppable, street-lethal badass—a wrecking machine not unlike, shall we say, John Kreese or Terry Silver of The Karate Kid franchise fame.

That’s right! This week on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail we’re highlighting (or lowlighting) the teachings of a Kung Fu dojo that presumably named itself after the brutal, take-no-shit, antagonistic Cobra Kai karate dojo from The Karate Kid. And trust us, these guys make the strip mall karate from the film look like a violent, unquestionably legit blood sport.

Regarding the actual “technique” in the video. Well, I hope all my opponents line up single file and wait for me if I ever get into a street fight…and stop fighting immediately after feinting a front kick their way…and then fall to the ground when I do a quasi sweep on them.

The school’s YouTube account has been dormant for three years. In addition to the video above, there are about a dozen others that are just as bad—including one with the world’s worst armbar. We suggest paying their channel a visit and watching them if you’re in need of a laugh or two.

 

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Don’t Use Eye Pokes Because the Guy Will Kill Your Family

Last time on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week, we covered absurd and downright dangerous (for you, not the other guy) knife defense techniques.

This week, we’re highlighting an amazing character by the name of “Master Wong“—a Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, and Tai Chi expert.

To be fair, the techniques in the video aren’t the worst we’ve seen; they’re the standard sort of compliant, “street” self-defense training that’s peddled in poor martial arts schools across the country. What makes Master Wong’s stylings so notable are his incomprehensible accent (Tito Ortiz-level of poor English) and his insane assertions, such as “you can’t knee fucking shit” and his claims about how poking a man in the eye means he’ll kill your family.

This video is worth a watch, trust us. It’s bad martial arts combined with ridiculous engrish—a win-win! He’s got loads of others too. They’re not quite as good as the one above, but are still fun.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com

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Traditional Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Five Ways to DESTROY BJJ


(Video via CombatantDVD)

Are you ready for this? Are you sure? Are you really sure?

For this week’s Traditional Martial Arts Fail, we have the five definitive ways to defeat a BJJ guy. It’s as easy as using basic movements against a compliant partner. Imagine that!

Checking out their website, it seems like these guys are the “too deadly” sort who want to believe in their mysticism and bogus street cred. Their experiences range in arts like the esteemed Pekiti-Tirsia Kali system (it’s right up at the top of the martial arts pyramid with Kapu Kuialua, we assure you) and Krav Maga (because that style is so effective). One of “the masters” practices a style that is “concept based rather than technique-based.” You know, because it’s bad to base a martial art on having good technique.

Needless to say, if the dude in the video tried any of this compliant crap on a legit BJJ fighter or any other sort of grappler, he’d wind up with a broken arm. Just goes to show you that even though the UFC is a little more than 20 years old, there are still people who haven’t gotten the message about what works in a fight and what doesn’t!

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

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Traditional Martial Arts Fail of the Week: The Awful Predecessor of Tae Bo


(Video via Break.com)

Remember Billy Blanks’ Tae Bo—the progenitor of those cardio kickboxing programs littering gyms across the country, the ones soccer moms sign up for to lose baby weight AND learn “self defense”?

Well, it turns out Mr. Blanks wasn’t the first to simultaneously bastardize aerobics and martial arts.

This week on CagePotato’s Traditional Martial Arts Fail, we’re happy to share with you the mitochondrial eve of shitty cardio kickboxing: A 1980s video merging dubious self defense techniques and Richard Simmons-like aerobics.

There’s not a whole lot of information about who’s behind this hilariously bad style of “fighting” (and it is hilarious). You won’t regret watching this, trust us. There are loads of nut shots, twerking, and they even suggest using your ass as a weapon—no joke.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

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This Bizarre UFC 168 Trailer Is So Over the Top It’s Amazing


(Video via Taiwanese Animators)

MMA trailers have become woefully formulaic these days. Throw some highlight reel clips alongside a catchy (or not so catchy) pop song and boom, instant commercial.

The UFC will air said trailer on TV tens of thousands of times (in just one broadcast), use it for video ads on the MMA websites it advertises on/secretly controls, and after a few weeks we’ll all have the dreadfully cliched piece of marketing memorized.

Today we found something more refreshing.

We’d like to present to you an incredible UFC 168 trailer from Internet famous video makers Next Media Animation—a Taiwanese media studio known for its humorous, nigh absurdist take on current events.

Instead of generic, “bad ass” rock music and B-roll footage, this trailer offers us over-the-top visuals like Anderson Silva bench-pressing minivans and literally turning into a spider—all in the polygonal splendor of 1990s computer graphics.

We don’t want to spoil it for you, so just take our word for it; watching this is worth the one minute 30 seconds.

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Watch: Highlights from UFC on FOX 9′s Fight of the Night—Edson Barboza vs. Danny Castillo [VIDEO]


(Video via MSN)

Edson Barboza vs. Danny Castillo was the best fight in a pretty decent night of fights overall. What made it so special? Well, with the above highlights, you’ll be able to see for yourself.

First of all, it was a fantastic mixed martial arts contest. MMA fights turn into C-level kickboxing or 15-minute bouts of clinching too often these days. Barboza-Castillo reminded us what the sport is capable of in terms of excitement. There were near KOs, there were takedowns, there wear submission attempts. Their match represented the full range of fighting.

Second, the fight represented a comeback—not a Tim Boetsch vs. Yushin Okami level comeback—but a comeback nonetheless. Castillo brutalized Barboza in the first round; it appeared the Brazilian striking phenom was out of his depth. Barboza manged to reverse fortunes in the second round with leg kicks; his shins were meat tenderizers.

The third round was close, but it was ultimately Barboza that got the nod from the judges, winning via majority decision.

For their efforts, both men took home an extra $50,000 as part of the “Fight of the Night” bonus.

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Nick Newell Chokes Out Sabah Fadai, and Other Weekend MMA Updates [VIDEO]

Nick Newell scored a guillotine choke victory over Sabah Fadai at WSOF 7 last night. It looked like Newell, who’s now 11-0, hardly broke a sweat during the 81 seconds the match lasted.

Nick Newell kicked ass and tore up the regional lightweight scene en route the WSOF. He even left the XFC because he felt he was fighting beneath his level of competition; he wanted UFC veterans and promising prospects. Newell deserves a fight against such an opponent at this point in his career; his abilities surely can’t be denied at this point.

Also of note on WSOF 7: Georgi Karakhanyan defeated the highly accomplished wrestler Lance Palmer to become the first-ever WSOF featherweight champion. Jesse Taylor, the guy who got kicked off TUF for trashing a casino with a drunken possy (except without the possy), won a No.1 contender fight against Elvis Mutapcic. Taylor will now face David Branch for the inaugural WSOF middleweight title.

See other highlights from the weekend after the jump.

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Ronda Rousey and Miesha Tate Join Forces to Create an Awkward Interview [VIDEO]

If you thought an interview putting hated rivals Ronda Rousey and Miesha Tate shoulder-to-shoulder would have Chael Sonnen levels of excitement, you’d be wrong.

Despite the ferocity and abject hatred between the two fighters, Jon Anik‘s interview of the first-ever female Ultimate Fighter coaches didn’t produce anything memorable save for uncomfortable levels of awkwardness.

First of all, Rousey clearly didn’t want to be that close to Tate. She was also understandably upset about the fact that her two teammates Jessamyn Duke and Peggy Morgan just fought one another.

It only went downhill from there.

Once Anik asked Tate about Julianna Pena, Rousey essentially no-sold everything Tate said and stared vacantly into the distance. When Anik brought the mic back to the Olympian and asked her about Tate’s improvements as a fighter as well as her own improvements, Rousey answered with her usual candor but without her usual passion. She was honest but apathetic.

“The first time we fought it was less than a year since I’ve gone pro, and now I’m three years,” she said with a half-scowl on her face. It wasn’t Heidi Androl-death stare level but it was close. “I’m a more improved fighter since, I don’t think I’ve seen as good a performance from her since I won the title and she’s fought a few times since then.”

Read the conclusion of the interview featuring Jon Anik’s abysmal attempt at selling the UFC 168 PPV after the jump.

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[VIDEO] Jon Jones’ First Pitch at Blue Jays vs. Yankees Game *Barely* Misses Strike Zone


(“I hear Robinson Cano is the future of the ,” via @JonnyBones)

With only a few days before a light heavyweight title defense that’s, shall we say, less than exhilarating on paper, UFC light heavyweight kingpin Jon Jones did some last-second promotion for the fight by throwing out the first pitch at last night’s Blue Jays vs. Yankees game in Toronto. If you follow baseball, you may recall that Jones threw out the first pitch during a Padres game before fighting Vladimir Matyushenko, so this wasn’t a completely random experience for him. Plus with UFC 165 taking place in the city this weekend, it was a good opportunity to get the locals fired up for the event.

So how’d he do throwing out the ceremonial first pitch? Well, let’s just say that Jones admitted that he “didn’t practice much” beforehand, so try not to be too hard on him. That video, courtesy of UFC.com, is after the jump.

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Reminder: Watch the UFC 137 Pre-Fight Press Conference Right Here at 4:00 pm ET


(Stream courtesy of YouTube/UFC)

Just a friendly reminder that we will have the live stream of today’s UFC 137 pre-fight presser for you right here starting at 4:00 pm ET.

If you’re at home today or somewhere your boss won’t catch you getting shit-faced, we’ve created a little drinking game for you to enjoy it a bit more.

Check it out after the jump.

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